13 POSITIVE PARENTING CHECKLISTS! These printable checklists are designed to help you through the most difficult moments, including tantrums, defiance, and risk taking. ➤➤➤ themompsychologist.mykajabi.com/postiveparentingchecklistbundle
All of these comments made me realize we are all in this together! We all yell at our kids and feel horrible about it and now we’re here to help ourselves 🥺
I’m a very calm person overall, but something about my 7 year daughter’s whining and attitude drives me crazy. I also have PMS so I feel like I lose it every month. The guilt afterwards is so bad. I need help😞
This is definitely relatable, I lost my temper with my 6yr old. I totally went off on him and regret the way I spoke to him. I apologized to him but I still feel terrible 😞
Let them know you love them regardless of their bad deeds or bad test grades. Let them know their self worth is not based on their mistakes or failures. Cry and be kind to yourself if you yelled because we are only human. We are imperfectly human at any age. We need grace and forgiveness for ourselves too and let your kids fail. That's the best way they will learn. Let them fail at things while they are young so they will learn to try when they are older. (Don't yell. Let them fail) Some kids are just stubborn and experience will mold them
Really struggling with feeling unheard because I was never heard as a child. It is so hard healing my inner child while also raising a strong willed daughter as a single Mom. I just don't want to damage her :(
Same.. I have two boys. I was doing so so welll but now with so many court cases and a crazy ex , I mean physical abuse crazy, the pain has started to resurface and the fatigue. I used to be soooo patient and now I’m having these moments where I lose it and I regret it so much… I’m reading anything about it to make it go back to normal so I feel you. Sometimes I feel like if I kill myself they will not be damaged by me.. that’s how fucked up I am in the head right now… I would never ever want to leave their sight so believe me if tell you that it hurts me deep in my soul to know that I have yelled at them.. it’s an immense pain and I’m scared of doing it again…
Love this video. I came here this morning because I lost it on my toddler this morning because he didn’t want to get dressed, he kept crying he didn’t want to he kept saying no no and of course I was running late which made me later. The look in his eyes when I yelled in his face broke my heart and I feel like such a horrible mother. I apologized and asked him to forgive me and explained why I yelled but the damage was done. His little face is implanted in my brain all morning.
I’m a single mom. Although I don’t have a hubby or anyone to help me take a break I think your tip of the bathroom escape might work for me. I find your tip of find what’s the tigger. I love that journal idea. Thanks!
Just coming across your video here in 2022.. Thank you for creating this video. I am a young single mom of 3 and I've really had such a hard time with my anger and not yelling at my children. I am trying to break a longstanding generational curse within my family. My mom always used to yell, curse, belittle and abuse me a lot and I've noticed that - this is something within myself that has definitely come out of me since I myself have become a mom. I don't want to yell at my kids or be cursing at them or any of those things and determined to make a change forward. Thank you so much for this motivation! You inspire me!!
My trigger is definitely not having control of things when it comes to my girls, anything that doesn't go according to what I plan. What about discipline for teens? I have to tell them everyday to do chores till I'm blue in the face!
My triggers are the same. Watching this after loosing it with my toddler because she wouldn’t come inside. 😓 trying to let go of the guilt after yelling. And feeling like I’m going to mess her up. So it definitely is a control issue.
I feel like I’m messing up my daughter bc I yell at her and spank her like when we’re about to go to sleep, she plays a lot and I get mad. I also spend a lot of time on my phone and she goes off to play and sometimes I feel like she’s asking me to spend time w her and get off my phone (guilt or truth??) I hate that I do that and I notice at times she yells, says shut up and hits me or other ppl…I feel bad. I know as I treat her like this, she’ll act ways that trigger me bc she thinks it gets her more attention My triggers: Her not listening… Nap time Bath time Her crying and idk why… Me trying to give her something she’s crying for and she keeps crying…
I think a lot of these control issues us mothers have surrounding our children do come from a kind & caring place, because we know how we were hurt in the past or in our childhoods.. we just have to learn to let go. I am still learning to let go of control
Your triggers are exactly the same as mine. I didn't really think of myself as a control freak but what you said really, really resonated with me. I'm so glad I found you on IG, I attended your masterclass on Saturday and signed up with the Sisterhood last night. I'm feeling really encouraged and inspired, thank you!
I fk up once a month just before my cycle! Started taking some anxiety meds to help me not yell at my toddler.. I mean I dont wanna tell anyone how scared my daughter looked when I yelled! 😥 I'm 💔 at how that lil face looked.
I’m a single mom raising a very very energetic and stubborn son. He is three now and it is extremely hard. And it seems he only listens when i scream.. I seriously try to ask him politely and on a normal voice tone. And automatically, before I know it I yell.. i dont want to i really dont want my son growing up like this and have memories of me yelling and getting angry at him. Today was a hard day and have an extremly mental breakdown because of hit. I hate myself and i feel like i dont deserve him. Because he is really my love of my life. I watch this to motivate me again to change. When i talk normal or politely he just walks over me. I pray to God to change this bad bad thing of me
Girl I go through the same thing with my boy he is 6 my girl is 5 and my baby is 2 but they fight like cats and dogs fist fight each other I’m like I never taught you this you need to love each other and they still fight then I loose my cool and scream at my kids
Hi 👋 yes I have similar issues with my son almost 4years old! I have two boys another one is 27months. It seems like whenever I tell him politely or in my normal voice he doesn’t listen to me n then I try to control my anger n say few times politely but still he ignores n keeps on doing whatever he isn’t supposed to n after that I loose my cool n start screaming my lungs out n then he seems to stop it ! N later I feel bad that I screamed like a crazy woman which I am not!
I feel you… two boys, single mom too… I used to be so calm and patient but lately I just snap after I ask politely. I feel so so so bad about it… it makes me so sad
I believe that my biggest trigger has to be that I want the absolute best for my son. When I see his negative behavior, I get so scared that he's going to end up struggling in this world that I end up getting upset. What I have to remember is that, regardless whether he gets it or not, I'm going to love him unconditionally. I'm really going to try to be more mindfull in those moments and stay calm so I can set an example for him to not react when things don't go according to what you want. Thank you for this video!
It’s not just with moms. I’m a single father raising two children alone. I moved for a better job opportunity so my family is 5 hours away and it’s just me and my kids and I feel so bad when I get irritated and get on to my kids. I have never and will never spank them because I was beat as a kid so even just raising my voice at them totally rips my heart into pieces. I know it’s an old video but thank you for going over this. If anything it helped me be more mindful around them when I’ve had a bad day.
I was looking up how to stop guilt tripping my children and I found this video. I'm on the treadmill typing every note. I have a 7 and 5 year old (girls) and a set of twins 1 yr old(boys). I don't want to raise my children like I was raised. Thank you❤️🌹🥰
I know this video is a bit old but I want to thank you so much for making it. It is so easy to isolate yourself in a bubble of guilt as a parent who loses their cool, sometimes. For me, it’s shameful and it makes me hate myself so, of course, I never tell anyone, never talk about it, and it just eats at me, pulling me in a downward spiral. I am on a journey to improve my parent/child communication skills and get rid of the yelling, the impatience and the “no,” “don’t,” “stop” words that have plagued my daily routine and just leave me anxious at night, feeling awful and sad for my child who I know deserves better. It’s so important for parents to be open about their struggles and keep parenting REAL. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this video. I am in tears with the relief that I am normal and not the monster I’ve been looking at myself as.
Wow! I just had a "moment" with my daughter today (almost 8yo) with her online class and your channel just popped out on my IG feed and checked out this video. What I am working on is to try to see it with my daughter's perspective. Whenever she has this moment of not wanting to do her online class, and talking back to me with her smart answers, I just get (I'm gonna call it) "challenged" and sometimes I forget she's just (almost) 8 and I snapped at her like she's an adult. I don't call it yelling but she thinks it is since it is higher tone than my usual tone. Although, it's not the case all the time, I realized I need to work with it within myself to take a deep breath before I react to her behavior. I also tend to be hard on myself whenever we have these moments, but it's all a learning process. Today, I learned to let go. We hugged it out, apologized and I felt good. Tomorrow is another day, but today I did my best handling the situation and that's all that matters. Looking forward to learning some new tips on your channel for parenting (first time parent)!
These tips are beautiful. I remember my relationship with my mother was a very good one and it was because she worked in line with the principles you just mentioned. She also helped me improve on my way of thinking which helped me be a better child and ultimately led her to not yelling too much. Great video
My triggers are definitely not feeling good enough. I have a lot of real guilt around my firstborn because I was legitimately a pretty crappy mother for the first few years of his life. I was an addict and struggling with severe mental health issues and I was a teen mum and really didn’t cope well with becoming a mother at 17. So I carry a lot of guilt around that even though I am over three years clean, I have a toddler and I’m having my third baby soon and I know I’m a good mum now and I am there for my kids and I love them so much… but the guilt around my firstborn doesn’t help! I struggle with him the most! Not feeling good enough - really easily triggered by him and feeling inadequate. If he criticises my cooking or I feel like he’s not enthusiastic enough or grateful for something I’ve done for him I feel like ‘what does he want from me?? Nothing I do is good enough!’ And that translates into I’m not good enough… And that turns into I’m a bad mum. And how can I try harder?! And then I’m burnt out from trying so hard when honestly my son doesn’t care😭 he probably didn’t even realise he was acting kinda rude or indifferent or ungrateful because he’s 7 aha… agh. I just don’t know where to go from here. I can identify my triggers but I still get SO mad (I think it’s not real anger, it’s guilt and shame and anxiety and it’s coming out as anger) I am much calmer and gentler and more patient with my toddler and don’t really care if he doesn’t like something I do/make/suggest etc I just laugh it off and go oh well. I have no compassion for myself :( so maybe that’s where I need to put some work in… and forgive myself. It’s hard! I just need to do better for my oldest son! And for myself. I hate yelling all the time and being mean :/
I don’t know what the CRISPY movement is...🤔😝. But I really like your content. It’s been so hard for me to find content that gives me real life solutions to all these same concerns you talk about. I’ve already applied your advice to say “I love you when you’re mad, I love you when you’re sad, I love you when you’re happy.” My 4 year old will start crying out, “Momma, do you still love me!? Do you forgive me??” When he gets in trouble or anytime I have to correct him or have to redirect him.
Here at 1 am after losing my cool completely with my almost 4 yo. I am so tired and so tired of being tired and yelling at my kids. I feel like I’m always yelling, I feel like the worst mom lately. Needed to hear all of this, my triggers are the same as what you listed. I have only ever dreamed of being a mom, and now I have three beautiful children that don’t deserve to be yelled at by a burnt out mom. Subscribed and I will be listening to your other videos. Needing help in this area, too. I don’t want to damage these sweet babies I get to call mine 🥺
I’m pretty much a single parent - my husband and I are on opposite schedules - how can I take a break? I never get it. Even when hubby is home. It’s me 24/7 with the kids. I know my triggers are being disrespected, not being heard and overall their defiance.
Hey, new to your channel coming over from Keeperofmyhome. You gave some great tips and it’s so true we do have those triggers that just set us off the edge! Sometimes for me is to walk away and go to somewhere quiet as well!
My mom needs to watch this she has been so explosive lately honestly she just needs a break from everything we do. I sometimes tell her to take a break but then she just always say "I can't live like this in a messy house and suspect me to take a break?" but honestly you can't really clean the house if you have a 3-year-old son mom! honestly I never really yell at her cause if I do I will get yelled at back so I've gotten accustomed to just letting her scream and holding my anger ever since I was born, sometimes I do wish I could just yell at her for stuff but Nah she would kill me!
I feel like a lot of my frustration is that I never have a child free moment. I can’t have a single meal in peace and quiet, just had baby number 2 and any sliver of rest and quiet I used to get is gone now. I feel burnt out but my partner just tells me this is what being a mom is supposed to be. I’m a stay at home mom but it feels like it’s more of a single mom for the day except for the 1.5 hrs my partner is home at night from work. It’s just a lot with no break in sight. I love my girls but I just wish I had some time to rest. I guess this is my life now lol It’s helpful to see I’m not alone and we all feel guilty after we loose our cool
I am a mother of a two year old daughter. I always feel like Ish after yelling or losing my cool. I hate it. I dont want to make my baby scared because I yell. Gosh its nice to hear all these comforting things. Girl you have already helped me so much. I have a spouse but not much support .. Or moralistic respect. Like ill set boundaries or rules and I feel like they wont be respected when im not around.
I have always been the most easy going calm level headed person. It takes alot for me to get mad or annoyed so I really thought when I had my son I would be really good at dealing with his emotions and outbursts etc. I don’t know what it is but I am so short tempered now and feel like a shit mom when I lose my cool on my toddler when all he’s doing is being a toddler. I’m trying to read up on how to stop being an angry parent etc. I was yelled at as a kid and came from an abusive home and I always said I would never be like that with my child. I’ve never even thought to lay a hand on him but I find myself raising my voice often. I hope I can find some help in the research I’m doing on helping myself to stop reacting the way I am and control my emotions so I can better help my son.
I came here because I am a single mother to a gifted 5 yr. At this point I'm up to my neck done with the bs lol. I am working on myself, I have pcos so my hormones are imbalanced it's been 3 days since I started vitamins to help So I am serious about a change. I ne.eded you this day she will be 6 SOON somethings NEED to change. Thank you and thank you commenters for your honesty.
This was the best advice I found among all the similar videos I watched. Yours is the most practical tips. Thank you so much for this ❤️ just subscribed 😊
I love your energy, the way you speak is so down to earth. Wow I’m so happy I came across this video thank you so much from one crispy momma to another ♥️💕😇
I feel so guilty 😭😢 but sometimes it’s so hard when your just overwhelming with life ugh but glad I’m watching this. Hopefully 🙏🏼 I can get better at this
Give me a thumbs up if you relate to these triggers, Girl I am giving you a standing ovation 👏 This is just what I need to hear. It is not my fight, it is not something I NEED TO FIX. My kids are learning and experiencing their own emotions. I need to stop allowing myself to fall prey to these triggers and remember the big picture rather than the moment. Also I have no plan lol someone at daycare asked what consequences are for my 3 year old and I was like that's a wonderful question I have no idea 🤦🏻♀️😂
Awww !! Soo glad this video was helpful. Definitely check out my discipline course if you'd like to learn more about respectful boundaries and consequences! www.themompsychologist.com/pda
Ok I just stumble upon your channel about stopping your toddler from yelling. I have Twin 3 years old girls first time mom. 😑 one of my babies aka the teller doesn't speak as clear as her sister so maybe that why she yells so moving forward I will be more understanding but I do tell a lot but it may have something to do with my daily life and profession. I am in Law Enforcement and I am use to getting compliance by any means and sometime for get their babies not listening grown people. This video hit home for me and thank you. My husband is in the same field but he is a lot more easy with this then I am. Thank you keep provide great tips pleaseeeeee I will need it their only 3 😂😂😂😂😂
Thanks for doing this video because my 9 year old been testing me today was the worst I have had Iam tryingbto stop cursing and yelling he doesn't Ike when I tell him no je tries to challenge me ag times he is a sweet boy he is a gentleman and is a helper but when he doesn't get his way it a different story Iam sick of repeating myself I try talking nice and being firm but a sista is exhausted
We're in the terrible two's stage. Dealing with a toddler who is constantly creating crazy messes is a trigger. I hate being inconvenienced to the point of having to spend another hour cleaning. I have to practice getting some space to cool off more often. I don't always yell but I do detach and become resentful and kind of mean because I can't get the space to clean up the mess without it spreading. 😮💨Defeated. But...I'll practice these methods.
I'm 41 with an 8 year old , 4 year old twins and a 3 year old. Ever since I turned 40 I noticed right away I have very bad mood swings right before I get my period and certain other days too. I feel so bad because those days I have 0 patience and very irritable. I am a stay at home mom and their dad works the whole day. I feel embarrassed to ask for help .
Just to reiterate your words, I yelled at my child for having anger instead of consoling her at her weakest. It was I t erupted when I punished myself, I am a trigger at those triggerstoo. Thank you and they are with my own mother not them.
My son is 11 and daughter is 4. Son has anxiety and sometimes I feel like I made him that way due to yelling.I’m trying hard to not yell. Do you think i need to talk to a psychologist?
I'm losing my mind. Because I don't want to yell at my kids but I swear they be taking me over the edge. In the end after I yell I end up having a panic attack and feel super stressed and feel bad about yelling at them. I do know that I wasn't raised with a yelling mother so idk why I do it but I definitely know I need help and want to stop.
The burnout is real. Especially when you truly never get a break that is not pertaining to them going to school. I don’t have much of a help out from family- I was pretty much on my own growing up unless my grandma or someone could watch me. So expecting my mother and father to just be there and want a relationship with my kids is unrealistic. But my daughters are 5 and 7.. . My 7 year old has that smart ass, y’all back attitude already. The disrespect is real and I’m really unsure as to why my daughter even behaves that way because I’ve always tried to validate their feelings and tell them how important it is to listen and be respectful of not only me but others as well. Single motherhood is absolutely doable, but lord sometimes I just want an hour or two to just fix myself from feeling like I’m losing my mind. 😅
I'm a very anxious person, i have anger in me in general, it's my default emotion since i am not very good at dealing with more vulnerable emotions. My husband is in the army so i am basically single parenting during the week and it is leaving me exhausted, stressed and just plain done with being a parent. My son is a nightmare in the mornings, i give him a cookie for a good behavior he screams and throws the cookie on the floor then he screams because he doesn't want to go to school, doesn't let me put him in the car seat, he goes nuts when i try to change his diaper... I am losing my shit. What do i do? How do I figure out what's going on with him? He wasn't like this last month. And there hasn't been any extreme changes.
i have a little bro and admit theres something wrong with me i hate yellin at him i dont know how to make him understand what im saying ..i have trauma i havent dealt with and i feel ..know its unfair to pass it to him..
Aww I have 2 kids 15 months a part. The first year was year for sure and it does get easier but breaks are essential mama. Hope you're able to carve out time for them.
It's possible to take a break... how about when all 3 of them take a nap at the same time, that can be your time to unwind. If not, u need to find the help. Don't be that martyr mom that thinks she can do everything, or you'll be burnt out quick.
I started working a pt job to get a break bc then childcare is a necessity so you have a break. I know it's a job and ironically, I'm in a caregiving role at work but it's 1000× easier than watching two under 2. And that little break every other day helps me be on when I'm not working. I swear it's helped sooo much more than I expected.
I've been crying for over an hour I shouted at my 5 yo today and I was just so loud and angry It literally hurts to think about it I don't want her to be scared of me I said sorry but I just can't stop crying
I really needed this I feel horrible when I yell at my daughter. I didn’t have a mother I grew up in foster care and I am completely failing as a parent. I’m desperate to find solutions because my daughter is only 2 and I love her so much but I am struggling with her crying 😭 I can’t deal. What am I doing wrong?
13 POSITIVE PARENTING CHECKLISTS! These printable checklists are designed to help you through the most difficult moments, including tantrums, defiance, and risk taking. ➤➤➤ themompsychologist.mykajabi.com/postiveparentingchecklistbundle
All of these comments made me realize we are all in this together! We all yell at our kids and feel horrible about it and now we’re here to help ourselves 🥺
I’m a very calm person overall, but something about my 7 year daughter’s whining and attitude drives me crazy. I also have PMS so I feel like I lose it every month. The guilt afterwards is so bad. I need help😞
This is definitely relatable, I lost my temper with my 6yr old. I totally went off on him and regret the way I spoke to him. I apologized to him but I still feel terrible 😞
Felt. Ever since having children my hormones are insane. My son is almost 3 years and I’m begging my hormones to slow down.
evening Primrose oil is really good for hormonal balance.
Let them know you love them regardless of their bad deeds or bad test grades. Let them know their self worth is not based on their mistakes or failures. Cry and be kind to yourself if you yelled because we are only human. We are imperfectly human at any age. We need grace and forgiveness for ourselves too and let your kids fail. That's the best way they will learn. Let them fail at things while they are young so they will learn to try when they are older. (Don't yell. Let them fail) Some kids are just stubborn and experience will mold them
OMG PLEASE HELP ME MY DAUGHTER IS 7 GOD HELP ME AND HER ATTITUDE
Really struggling with feeling unheard because I was never heard as a child. It is so hard healing my inner child while also raising a strong willed daughter as a single Mom. I just don't want to damage her :(
Same.. I have two boys. I was doing so so welll but now with so many court cases and a crazy ex , I mean physical abuse crazy, the pain has started to resurface and the fatigue. I used to be soooo patient and now I’m having these moments where I lose it and I regret it so much… I’m reading anything about it to make it go back to normal so I feel you. Sometimes I feel like if I kill myself they will not be damaged by me.. that’s how fucked up I am in the head right now… I would never ever want to leave their sight so believe me if tell you that it hurts me deep in my soul to know that I have yelled at them.. it’s an immense pain and I’m scared of doing it again…
girl, I'm in the saaaaame boat!! Also a single mom, I have 2 VERY strong willed girls...the struggle is REAL!!
Sometimes my kids tell me that I “need a time out.” I think I’m going to take their advice .
Love this video. I came here this morning because I lost it on my toddler this morning because he didn’t want to get dressed, he kept crying he didn’t want to he kept saying no no and of course I was running late which made me later. The look in his eyes when I yelled in his face broke my heart and I feel like such a horrible mother. I apologized and asked him to forgive me and explained why I yelled but the damage was done. His little face is implanted in my brain all morning.
It’s okay your a great mom
I’m a teacher and I never yell at my students but at home I yell at my own kids 🙈😂 idk why
When they not your to raise it different 😂
I’m a single mom. Although I don’t have a hubby or anyone to help me take a break I think your tip of the bathroom escape might work for me. I find your tip of find what’s the tigger. I love that journal idea. Thanks!
Aww so glad this video was helpful mama!
You are amazing❤ single moms have it hard.
Just coming across your video here in 2022.. Thank you for creating this video. I am a young single mom of 3 and I've really had such a hard time with my anger and not yelling at my children. I am trying to break a longstanding generational curse within my family. My mom always used to yell, curse, belittle and abuse me a lot and I've noticed that - this is something within myself that has definitely come out of me since I myself have become a mom. I don't want to yell at my kids or be cursing at them or any of those things and determined to make a change forward. Thank you so much for this motivation! You inspire me!!
My trigger is definitely not having control of things when it comes to my girls, anything that doesn't go according to what I plan. What about discipline for teens? I have to tell them everyday to do chores till I'm blue in the face!
My triggers are the same. Watching this after loosing it with my toddler because she wouldn’t come inside. 😓 trying to let go of the guilt after yelling. And feeling like I’m going to mess her up. So it definitely is a control issue.
I feel like I’m messing up my daughter bc I yell at her and spank her like when we’re about to go to sleep, she plays a lot and I get mad. I also spend a lot of time on my phone and she goes off to play and sometimes I feel like she’s asking me to spend time w her and get off my phone (guilt or truth??) I hate that I do that and I notice at times she yells, says shut up and hits me or other ppl…I feel bad. I know as I treat her like this, she’ll act ways that trigger me bc she thinks it gets her more attention
My triggers:
Her not listening…
Nap time
Bath time
Her crying and idk why…
Me trying to give her something she’s crying for and she keeps crying…
You are not alone
Same
I think a lot of these control issues us mothers have surrounding our children do come from a kind & caring place, because we know how we were hurt in the past or in our childhoods.. we just have to learn to let go. I am still learning to let go of control
"giving yourself grace and permission to be imperfect" 🙏
Your triggers are exactly the same as mine. I didn't really think of myself as a control freak but what you said really, really resonated with me. I'm so glad I found you on IG, I attended your masterclass on Saturday and signed up with the Sisterhood last night. I'm feeling really encouraged and inspired, thank you!
Awww so wonderful to have you Breanna!! Looking forward to connected with you more inside TMS 🤎
I fk up once a month just before my cycle! Started taking some anxiety meds to help me not yell at my toddler.. I mean I dont wanna tell anyone how scared my daughter looked when I yelled! 😥 I'm 💔 at how that lil face looked.
So glad you're seeking out resources to help break the cycle. Rooting for you!
I’m a single mom raising a very very energetic and stubborn son. He is three now and it is extremely hard. And it seems he only listens when i scream.. I seriously try to ask him politely and on a normal voice tone. And automatically, before I know it I yell.. i dont want to i really dont want my son growing up like this and have memories of me yelling and getting angry at him. Today was a hard day and have an extremly mental breakdown because of hit. I hate myself and i feel like i dont deserve him. Because he is really my love of my life. I watch this to motivate me again to change. When i talk normal or politely he just walks over me. I pray to God to change this bad bad thing of me
Girl I go through the same thing with my boy he is 6 my girl is 5 and my baby is 2 but they fight like cats and dogs fist fight each other I’m like I never taught you this you need to love each other and they still fight then I loose my cool and scream at my kids
Hi 👋 yes I have similar issues with my son almost 4years old! I have two boys another one is 27months. It seems like whenever I tell him politely or in my normal voice he doesn’t listen to me n then I try to control my anger n say few times politely but still he ignores n keeps on doing whatever he isn’t supposed to n after that I loose my cool n start screaming my lungs out n then he seems to stop it ! N later I feel bad that I screamed like a crazy woman which I am not!
I feel you… two boys, single mom too… I used to be so calm and patient but lately I just snap after I ask politely. I feel so so so bad about it… it makes me so sad
Just this intro was a nice way to de-stress! I was dancing along with you!! Solidarity! Parenting is tough
Haha glad you liked my dancing & singing 😂
I believe that my biggest trigger has to be that I want the absolute best for my son. When I see his negative behavior, I get so scared that he's going to end up struggling in this world that I end up getting upset. What I have to remember is that, regardless whether he gets it or not, I'm going to love him unconditionally. I'm really going to try to be more mindfull in those moments and stay calm so I can set an example for him to not react when things don't go according to what you want. Thank you for this video!
It’s not just with moms. I’m a single father raising two children alone. I moved for a better job opportunity so my family is 5 hours away and it’s just me and my kids and I feel so bad when I get irritated and get on to my kids. I have never and will never spank them because I was beat as a kid so even just raising my voice at them totally rips my heart into pieces. I know it’s an old video but thank you for going over this. If anything it helped me be more mindful around them when I’ve had a bad day.
This made me feel like I wasn't alone. Thank you.
Thank you. I have heavy trauma myself and even being self aware I have such a difficult time. I appreciate the time you take to make these videos.
I was looking up how to stop guilt tripping my children and I found this video. I'm on the treadmill typing every note. I have a 7 and 5 year old (girls) and a set of twins 1 yr old(boys). I don't want to raise my children like I was raised. Thank you❤️🌹🥰
I know this video is a bit old but I want to thank you so much for making it. It is so easy to isolate yourself in a bubble of guilt as a parent who loses their cool, sometimes. For me, it’s shameful and it makes me hate myself so, of course, I never tell anyone, never talk about it, and it just eats at me, pulling me in a downward spiral.
I am on a journey to improve my parent/child communication skills and get rid of the yelling, the impatience and the “no,” “don’t,” “stop” words that have plagued my daily routine and just leave me anxious at night, feeling awful and sad for my child who I know deserves better.
It’s so important for parents to be open about their struggles and keep parenting REAL.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this video. I am in tears with the relief that I am normal and not the monster I’ve been looking at myself as.
Dude. Thank you. Your not alone.
@@adrianesterline9691 ❤️❤️❤️
Wow! I just had a "moment" with my daughter today (almost 8yo) with her online class and your channel just popped out on my IG feed and checked out this video. What I am working on is to try to see it with my daughter's perspective. Whenever she has this moment of not wanting to do her online class, and talking back to me with her smart answers, I just get (I'm gonna call it) "challenged" and sometimes I forget she's just (almost) 8 and I snapped at her like she's an adult. I don't call it yelling but she thinks it is since it is higher tone than my usual tone. Although, it's not the case all the time, I realized I need to work with it within myself to take a deep breath before I react to her behavior. I also tend to be hard on myself whenever we have these moments, but it's all a learning process. Today, I learned to let go. We hugged it out, apologized and I felt good. Tomorrow is another day, but today I did my best handling the situation and that's all that matters. Looking forward to learning some new tips on your channel for parenting (first time parent)!
These tips are beautiful. I remember my relationship with my mother was a very good one and it was because she worked in line with the principles you just mentioned. She also helped me improve on my way of thinking which helped me be a better child and ultimately led her to not yelling too much. Great video
My triggers are definitely not feeling good enough. I have a lot of real guilt around my firstborn because I was legitimately a pretty crappy mother for the first few years of his life. I was an addict and struggling with severe mental health issues and I was a teen mum and really didn’t cope well with becoming a mother at 17. So I carry a lot of guilt around that even though I am over three years clean, I have a toddler and I’m having my third baby soon and I know I’m a good mum now and I am there for my kids and I love them so much… but the guilt around my firstborn doesn’t help! I struggle with him the most! Not feeling good enough - really easily triggered by him and feeling inadequate. If he criticises my cooking or I feel like he’s not enthusiastic enough or grateful for something I’ve done for him I feel like ‘what does he want from me?? Nothing I do is good enough!’ And that translates into I’m not good enough… And that turns into I’m a bad mum. And how can I try harder?! And then I’m burnt out from trying so hard when honestly my son doesn’t care😭 he probably didn’t even realise he was acting kinda rude or indifferent or ungrateful because he’s 7 aha… agh. I just don’t know where to go from here. I can identify my triggers but I still get SO mad (I think it’s not real anger, it’s guilt and shame and anxiety and it’s coming out as anger) I am much calmer and gentler and more patient with my toddler and don’t really care if he doesn’t like something I do/make/suggest etc I just laugh it off and go oh well. I have no compassion for myself :( so maybe that’s where I need to put some work in… and forgive myself. It’s hard! I just need to do better for my oldest son! And for myself. I hate yelling all the time and being mean :/
I’m actually a teacher; not a mom. Just subscribed. You are wonderful!
Actually you are a mom 😊I’m sure your students are your babies ❤️
Dr. Jasmine. Thank you for your help. I need to watch mom burn out. I am stressed out and feel so alone.
I don’t know what the CRISPY movement is...🤔😝. But I really like your content. It’s been so hard for me to find content that gives me real life solutions to all these same concerns you talk about. I’ve already applied your advice to say “I love you when you’re mad, I love you when you’re sad, I love you when you’re happy.” My 4 year old will start crying out, “Momma, do you still love me!? Do you forgive me??” When he gets in trouble or anytime I have to correct him or have to redirect him.
Here at 1 am after losing my cool completely with my almost 4 yo. I am so tired and so tired of being tired and yelling at my kids. I feel like I’m always yelling, I feel like the worst mom lately. Needed to hear all of this, my triggers are the same as what you listed. I have only ever dreamed of being a mom, and now I have three beautiful children that don’t deserve to be yelled at by a burnt out mom. Subscribed and I will be listening to your other videos. Needing help in this area, too. I don’t want to damage these sweet babies I get to call mine 🥺
Best video I've come across so far. So comprehensive and actually realistic
I just randomly found your channel searching for answers and wow. I can’t wait to dive into all of your videos (SAHM of 8) 💗🙏🏽✨
Thank u. I am failing so much. It's so hard. I will change this cycle.
I came here after I lost it on my kid. Everything you spoke of, something I have went through. This helps Thank you.
I’m pretty much a single parent - my husband and I are on opposite schedules - how can I take a break? I never get it. Even when hubby is home. It’s me 24/7 with the kids.
I know my triggers are being disrespected, not being heard and overall their defiance.
This was much needed! Thanks
Aww so glad it was helpful. Thanks for watching!
Breath of fresh air. Thank you, thank you.
Aww you're so welcome! ❤
Hey, new to your channel coming over from
Keeperofmyhome. You gave some great tips and it’s so true we do have those triggers that just set us off the edge! Sometimes for me is to walk away and go to somewhere quiet as well!
Ahhh so glad this video was helpful and resonated with you. Thanks for tuning in. Let me know if you have any follow up questions about this topic!
Oh my gosh, you’re speaking my truths, girl.. You are my spirit animal and hero. Thank you. Subbing.
So glad I stumbled upon this ❤
Aww so glad you're here. :)
Love your videos. You helped me with my daughter in your live thank you
Aww so great to hear! Thanks for watching. :)
For me, it's the kids not listening. Repeating myself 850 times before it's even acknowledged that i'm speaking. So frustrating.
My mom needs to watch this she has been so explosive lately honestly she just needs a break from everything we do. I sometimes tell her to take a break but then she just always say "I can't live like this in a messy house and suspect me to take a break?" but honestly you can't really clean the house if you have a 3-year-old son mom! honestly I never really yell at her cause if I do I will get yelled at back so I've gotten accustomed to just letting her scream and holding my anger ever since I was born, sometimes I do wish I could just yell at her for stuff but Nah she would kill me!
I feel like a lot of my frustration is that I never have a child free moment. I can’t have a single meal in peace and quiet, just had baby number 2 and any sliver of rest and quiet I used to get is gone now.
I feel burnt out but my partner just tells me this is what being a mom is supposed to be. I’m a stay at home mom but it feels like it’s more of a single mom for the day except for the 1.5 hrs my partner is home at night from work. It’s just a lot with no break in sight. I love my girls but I just wish I had some time to rest. I guess this is my life now lol
It’s helpful to see I’m not alone and we all feel guilty after we loose our cool
I am a mother of a two year old daughter. I always feel like Ish after yelling or losing my cool. I hate it. I dont want to make my baby scared because I yell. Gosh its nice to hear all these comforting things. Girl you have already helped me so much. I have a spouse but not much support .. Or moralistic respect. Like ill set boundaries or rules and I feel like they wont be respected when im not around.
Yessss I’m suffering from mom guilt. I’m a very hands on and maybe I’m too controlling. I think I’m going to give them more space to make mistakes.
I have always been the most easy going calm level headed person. It takes alot for me to get mad or annoyed so I really thought when I had my son I would be really good at dealing with his emotions and outbursts etc. I don’t know what it is but I am so short tempered now and feel like a shit mom when I lose my cool on my toddler when all he’s doing is being a toddler. I’m trying to read up on how to stop being an angry parent etc. I was yelled at as a kid and came from an abusive home and I always said I would never be like that with my child. I’ve never even thought to lay a hand on him but I find myself raising my voice often. I hope I can find some help in the research I’m doing on helping myself to stop reacting the way I am and control my emotions so I can better help my son.
I came here because I am a single mother to a gifted 5 yr. At this point I'm up to my neck done with the bs lol. I am working on myself, I have pcos so my hormones are imbalanced it's been 3 days since I started vitamins to help So I am serious about a change. I ne.eded you this day she will be 6 SOON somethings NEED to change. Thank you and thank you commenters for your honesty.
Aww I'm so glad we're connected on here. Rooting for you!!
@@TheMomPsychologist I am as well! Thanks for wanting well for me. Keep your light
This was the best advice I found among all the similar videos I watched. Yours is the most practical tips. Thank you so much for this ❤️ just subscribed 😊
Aww, wow! What a huge compliment. So glad to help you and thanks for sticking around. :)
You are so beautiful and thank you for this content I am learning so much. ❤
Just.. thank you.
Ahh, you're welcome Holly! 🤎
Ask a person who believes totally in mindset change im still struggling with believing I can do this 😭 pray for me yall
I love your energy, the way you speak is so down to earth. Wow I’m so happy I came across this video thank you so much from one crispy momma to another ♥️💕😇
Aww I appreciate you so much! So glad we are connected on here :)
I agree with all of those triggers and the control one is huge. Thank you for the advice and I am going to do some serious reflection after I watch. ❤
I feel so guilty 😭😢 but sometimes it’s so hard when your just overwhelming with life ugh but glad I’m watching this. Hopefully 🙏🏼 I can get better at this
3 kids no spouse...a break NEEDED but when?? Two small one teen, ha!
Give me a thumbs up if you relate to these triggers,
Girl I am giving you a standing ovation 👏
This is just what I need to hear. It is not my fight, it is not something I NEED TO FIX. My kids are learning and experiencing their own emotions. I need to stop allowing myself to fall prey to these triggers and remember the big picture rather than the moment.
Also I have no plan lol someone at daycare asked what consequences are for my 3 year old and I was like that's a wonderful question I have no idea 🤦🏻♀️😂
Awww !! Soo glad this video was helpful. Definitely check out my discipline course if you'd like to learn more about respectful boundaries and consequences! www.themompsychologist.com/pda
Ok I just stumble upon your channel about stopping your toddler from yelling. I have Twin 3 years old girls first time mom. 😑 one of my babies aka the teller doesn't speak as clear as her sister so maybe that why she yells so moving forward I will be more understanding but I do tell a lot but it may have something to do with my daily life and profession. I am in Law Enforcement and I am use to getting compliance by any means and sometime for get their babies not listening grown people. This video hit home for me and thank you. My husband is in the same field but he is a lot more easy with this then I am.
Thank you keep provide great tips pleaseeeeee I will need it their only 3 😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you.
Thanks for doing this video because my 9 year old been testing me today was the worst I have had Iam tryingbto stop cursing and yelling he doesn't Ike when I tell him no je tries to challenge me ag times he is a sweet boy he is a gentleman and is a helper but when he doesn't get his way it a different story Iam sick of repeating myself I try talking nice and being firm but a sista is exhausted
I'm not a mom but I could definitely use some help. Do you have any videos on dealing with ADHD kids?
Thank you so so so so much
We're in the terrible two's stage. Dealing with a toddler who is constantly creating crazy messes is a trigger. I hate being inconvenienced to the point of having to spend another hour cleaning. I have to practice getting some space to cool off more often. I don't always yell but I do detach and become resentful and kind of mean because I can't get the space to clean up the mess without it spreading. 😮💨Defeated. But...I'll practice these methods.
How do you journal? Do you have prompts or a way that you journal so you could share with you sure to pass videos that you could share a link to?
Thank you so much for your videos
I'm 41 with an 8 year old , 4 year old twins and a 3 year old. Ever since I turned 40 I noticed right away I have very bad mood swings right before I get my period and certain other days too. I feel so bad because those days I have 0 patience and very irritable. I am a stay at home mom and their dad works the whole day. I feel embarrassed to ask for help .
I just recently signed up for your email and this is the first video I’ve seen - thank you, such useful information. 💙
Aww wow. So glad my resources have been so helpful to you, Margaret. Thanks for supporting my work!
Just to reiterate your words, I yelled at my child for having anger instead of consoling her at her weakest. It was I t erupted when I punished myself, I am a trigger at those triggerstoo. Thank you and they are with my own mother not them.
Thank u I needed this 🥺 i’m a single mom
Too many people have kids and have no idea what they're doing
My son is 11 and daughter is 4. Son has anxiety and sometimes I feel like I made him that way due to yelling.I’m trying hard to not yell. Do you think i need to talk to a psychologist?
Thanks this has really helped me ,,grateful
I'm losing my mind. Because I don't want to yell at my kids but I swear they be taking me over the edge. In the end after I yell I end up having a panic attack and feel super stressed and feel bad about yelling at them. I do know that I wasn't raised with a yelling mother so idk why I do it but I definitely know I need help and want to stop.
I really want to stop yelling at my kids 😭 its so hard for me to manage their emotions and mine. I have 2 toddlers (5 & 2)
What is the name of the video where you talk about how to repair after yelling at them?
The burnout is real. Especially when you truly never get a break that is not pertaining to them going to school. I don’t have much of a help out from family- I was pretty much on my own growing up unless my grandma or someone could watch me. So expecting my mother and father to just be there and want a relationship with my kids is unrealistic.
But my daughters are 5 and 7.. . My 7 year old has that smart ass, y’all back attitude already. The disrespect is real and I’m really unsure as to why my daughter even behaves that way because I’ve always tried to validate their feelings and tell them how important it is to listen and be respectful of not only me but others as well.
Single motherhood is absolutely doable, but lord sometimes I just want an hour or two to just fix myself from feeling like I’m losing my mind. 😅
I feel like I will get hurt when my mom yells at me she yells at me when she does my hair plus I have sore scalp 🙂
Thank you so much 💖
Same triggers girls.... SAME!!!
I can't even listen to videos that start this way.
Jumping on the bed, kicking, screaming, tantrum. The screaming is obviously learned behavior. I need better coping skills. 😭 2yr old
I'm a very anxious person, i have anger in me in general, it's my default emotion since i am not very good at dealing with more vulnerable emotions. My husband is in the army so i am basically single parenting during the week and it is leaving me exhausted, stressed and just plain done with being a parent. My son is a nightmare in the mornings, i give him a cookie for a good behavior he screams and throws the cookie on the floor then he screams because he doesn't want to go to school, doesn't let me put him in the car seat, he goes nuts when i try to change his diaper... I am losing my shit. What do i do? How do I figure out what's going on with him? He wasn't like this last month. And there hasn't been any extreme changes.
Love it 😊
Aww so glad!
my tigger is talking back and disrespect. When I tell them to stop talking back and they keep going...after 3 times i loose it and then I am sad after
i have a little bro and admit theres something wrong with me i hate yellin at him i dont know how to make him understand what im saying ..i have trauma i havent dealt with and i feel ..know its unfair to pass it to him..
Lol taking a break 🤣😅how do u do that with 2 toddlers nd a new born. Thats a nice dream but impossible for some
Aww I have 2 kids 15 months a part. The first year was year for sure and it does get easier but breaks are essential mama. Hope you're able to carve out time for them.
It's possible to take a break... how about when all 3 of them take a nap at the same time, that can be your time to unwind. If not, u need to find the help. Don't be that martyr mom that thinks she can do everything, or you'll be burnt out quick.
I started working a pt job to get a break bc then childcare is a necessity so you have a break. I know it's a job and ironically, I'm in a caregiving role at work but it's 1000× easier than watching two under 2. And that little break every other day helps me be on when I'm not working. I swear it's helped sooo much more than I expected.
Dont have children but I go to a school full of them.
not like Im any better but still...
I get frustrated because my kid always wants to be up my butt all day everyday I just need a mental break to regroup
I was editing my videos and I realize that I yell a lot so I had searched onto her to stop yelling as a pet because I did not like it 😭😭
Good stuff
Appreciate you watching!
I've gotten so much better already and I've only watched two videos. Thanks for everything!
How do I get your book??
I've been crying for over an hour I shouted at my 5 yo today and I was just so loud and angry It literally hurts to think about it I don't want her to be scared of me I said sorry but I just can't stop crying
Can I get a link to that book?
What was the book?
@@TheMomPsychologist your discipline book
Lol you’re so funny
Hi dr jasmine I need advice on how to make my 6 yr old do a bm on the toilet.
👍🏽
💛
I really needed this I feel horrible when I yell at my daughter. I didn’t have a mother I grew up in foster care and I am completely failing as a parent. I’m desperate to find solutions because my daughter is only 2 and I love her so much but I am struggling with her crying 😭 I can’t deal. What am I doing wrong?
We have a 3 year old who doesn’t listen and tells white lies I don’t know what to do
Nothing usefull hrre.