HOW I STOPPED BEING AN ANGRY MOM
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- Опубліковано 16 січ 2019
- Ten years ago I was a very frustrated, angry, impatient mom. I still struggle sometimes, but today we're going to chat about some of the things that have helped me get my anger under control. I hope you find it helpful
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😢. The fact that you just uploaded this today. The fact that I just cried to my husband about this EXACT topic last night. The fact that my 2 boys are 1 and 4. The fact that I'm constantly so angry. The fact that I've only watched 1:45 seconds of this video and I'm already crying. I just want to say Thank you! I'm not the only one, and it gets better.❤
That’s exactly how I felt!! oh my gosh!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
KatieMaeOtis is that a fact ? 🤣
U are not alone, I'm crying right now I have 3kids ,I use to do the same thing 😢😢
I always wanted to be a mom. Growing up, that was my only hope and dream. But then I became a mom and I was just angry all the time. My sweet little baby grew into a strong willed and headstrong toddler and I had another newborn only 16 months after my first was born. I wasted so much time telling and screaming at my sweet blessings. It literally makes me cry now when I remember those days. I still struggle with anger at times, mostly from unmet expectations, I think and being tired. I still yell, but not as much. Mostly I feel mild annoyance these days. I want to keep growing and being refined to the point where I really, truly, and deeply ENJOY my children. We have three now with another on the way. I want to love being a mom like I always dreamed I would. ❤️
Stephanie Dagenais same!! 16 months apart. Oldest just turned 2. It's tough!
Stephanie Dagenais could have been hormones too 😬 and being younger and inexperienced. We all go through this .
Rebecca Oprea yes, I think you’re right. I do think my hormones were out of whack after my 2nd was born.
I am sobbing 1 minute in. Jesus knew I needed this ❤️❤️
Same girl same!!
I don't even have kids and this video made me emotional, especially when she touched on mental health and said we matter. There are many times I don't feel like I matter.
I wish that I had heard this 25 years ago when my first child was born.
I'm not even a mom, I'm not a religious person, but when you said "you are a beautiful creation and deserve to be well" I honestly teared up. It was an inspiring video to watch, thank you for sharing
God gave us free will and our children have that as well , we don’t control them , we teach and guide them . I hate the phrase “ control your kids “
I absolutely need this! You are so incredibly brave for being so forthcoming and it is a breath of fresh air from the "perfect" youtube moms.
@Claudia C it really isnt! I know people dont like to show the "bad", but really that is the humanity. People dont like to share it, but i love to see that most.
I'm not a mom yet but this was such a good, gentle reminder for my teacher heart.
I'm a teacher too, and I felt like this could be applied to teachers as well.. I know I needed this as a mom and a teacher :)
I needed this so badly. My boys are 2 & 3, 11 months apart, and I feel like I’m drowning most of the time. And I feel so ungrateful because being a mother is all ever wanted.
For me, I’m trying to rewire my brain. I’ve realized that just telling myself that I won’t be like my parents just isn’t enough. There are a lot of helpful tools here, thank you so much.
Growing up with a parent that always yelled I knew I didn’t want to yell. Some days I yell, but it’s few and far between because I am the adult. My kids look up to me and need me to be in control of my own emotions. I cannot throw tantrums and kids don’t act out as often when they feel respected and know who the adult is! Also I follow a few accounts on Instagram and when you give lots of attention to negative behavior you get more negative behavior.
Giving up my kids to God wowza. It’s not easy because I love them so much. I just have to remember how much more God loves and wants good things for me and for them.
Adding to that. Being more concerned about the relationship with my kids over the expectations of other people for my children. I am the parent and know them. The stranger in the grocery store or even my parents don’t know what happened and I have to parent for me and my kids not for anyone else.
I grew up with an angry mother who worse yet, didn't see any issue with her outbursts.
I vowed to myself I wouldn't repeat those mistakes & have kept to my word.
Concentrating on connection, rejecting the idea of familial hierarchy, learning about childhood development (so glad you mentioned this!!), embracing their strengths (unschooling has def brought this to whole new heights!), and unpacking my own triggers so I don't pass them down have all been instrumental in my ability to find true peace and joy through mothering in the more challenging seasons!
I love that you openly share your gentle, respectful parenting journey. Thank you for using your platform to spread this message!
Wow Ashley! Thank you! This video came just at the right time for me. Taking notes!
Thanks for posting this!!! I’m a 25y/o son to a very intelligent and kind mom, but also one that has struggled with projecting a lot of anger at me throughout my life. She has definitely improved but sometimes she still has her moments and lashes out. This video helped me better understand her triggers and why exactly she behaves the way she does at these times. She is also a very devout Christian woman.
5 minutes in and I’ve already learned something about myself. Expecting my baby to sleep through the night (so I can sleep through the night) and she doesn’t, and that is my biggest anger trigger.
This exactly what I needed. I relate SO much! Thank you for sharing.❤️
This was so profound. The part about control really hit home for me!
I appreciate how sensible and compassionate you are. Very wise too! Thanks for the advice. ❤️
Thank you so much Ashley, I really needed this, you have no idea. I cried. Because there is just so much truth here.
Wow! I needed this more than anyone will ever Know! Thank you so much!!❤❤
Didn’t realize how much I needed this😪♥️ thank you. You make it look so easy. It’s nice to hear it’s a journey for everyone!
I love the way you speak, you have such a graceful presence. Thanks for being this real and understanding.
One of my favorite videos Ashley! Thank you so much!
Thank you for being so honest about something I feel like nobody else talks about! I needed this. 💖
You are such a light an encouragement to me Ashley! Venturing into the new world of having a toddler and a newborn so this was so needed.
This was so good! Much wisdom Ashleigh. My anger came later in my motherhood and much of what you had to say resonated with me. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for another great video! Needed to hear all that. I grew up with a yelling mom and DID NOT want to be that with my kids. Thank you for the reminder to search out the underlying problems so we can be better for our kids ❤️🙌🏻
I really enjoyed this video. You deliver things in a very non-preachy, non-know-it-all way, which I appreciate.
Great topic!! Love that you are doing more videos!
Thank you so so much. Leaving 2018 behind, I knew that working on my anger and yelling is my goal for 2019. My hubby and I agreed together we need to work on this as a whole family. Your video couldn't have been more timely, and I took copious notes while watching it! Thank you so much.
Big kids are such a blessing. My older girls have learned my triggers and when I’m feeling out of control, they almost always jump into action. I hate that my anxiety is at the place where sometimes I breakdown, but they are so gracious and always check on me. They rub my back and ask if I need anything. They’re just 😍
jess.and.company I agree same here my oldest two 13,12 do the same for me 😍 but I don’t want to pass this along to them either. I see sometimes when they are watching the younger they have short patience as well.
Thank you! A million times thank you! I appreciate your honesty, vulnerability, and willingness to use your experience to help others. Your wisdom ministered to my heart. I’d love to see a series of vlogs on developing a more peaceful approach to mothering.
Thank you so much for sharing! Control and pressure wear main ones for me with my first two and since then I have learned so much, it's such a joy now being able to raise my 3rd in a very different way. I still struggle sometimes but just like you said it's mostly when I don't get enough sleep. So helpful and I think the book you recommend will be my next one in line ❤️
Love this so much. Thank you for sharing 💞
ASHLEY!!! Thank you for your wisdom and reminders. I found your channel a year ago when I was alone with my family Observing Torah. We had just left our church. I am a mom of 4 and your channel and Founded in Truth have helped encourage me so much! Thank you! Our family started our own fellowship at our home and in the past 2 months it has grown from just our family to 10 families!!!! I needed this reminder and encouragement as I tend to pile too much on my plate for the sake of the big picture....but then I end up sabotaging (spelling??) the moments. I am going to read the book you recommended. I wish I still lived in NC so we could chat and let the critters play lol. Anyway, Thank you for your transparent truthful encouragement! Have a blessed day! -Stephanie Nash
Seriously , I started watching your videos the other day and love every single one of them.
Thank you for the videos you post !
I cannot love this enough! I hate to admit it but I definitely have more angry mom moments than not.. I really need to work on my expectations! Thank you for this video and your tips!
This video is amazing. You're so inspirational to me. I really needed this video today. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experience. X
Thank you so much for this video. So much wisdom! Sweet mama- our Heavenly Father has totally planted this seed in you (wisdom and mentor ship to younger moms). Keep on keepin on. This is totally a message that all mamas need to hear. 🙌🏻
You are amazing... you can see your growth as a mom and person just by your demenor on your videos. I think you are my favorite mom to watch on youtube because you are real but you are also awesome! Your videos have been such encouragement and completely motivating! Bless you and your family for your open and Godly hearts and for sharing it with the world!
I so need to hear what you said about being a control freak! That is me, and I know that I need to stop it. You encouraged me so much today! I have been struggling so much with anger - disappointment, fear, and sadness. Thank you for giving it the real name(s) that it is. I have been working of recognizing my triggers, but really struggle with knowing what to do to create the environment that my child will thrive in - how to get compliance without coercion or threats (screaming) or taking something away. Still trying, but it was really nice to hear that I can get there!
I'm a 21 year old student in Elementary Education and I watch you & Ang to help understand how I can best help my kiddos one day ❤️
Wow you just nailed it to the heart of the problem. Thank you for sharing. It’s precious information.
Thank you for being real! I find personally that when I focus on me, I am angry because of our inner sin of selfishness but I also see that us mom's deeply need our own ME TIME... and it helps to refresh. Your Faith totally is what helps! Thanks for the reminder! God is good! He convicted our hearts and we are blessed to hear his guidance! God bless lady!
Thank you for being so honest!! This really helps me and hahaha I've realized I am a control freak!! I pray to God to be an amazing mom. Thank you again!!
I’m so thankful to have found you!!! 🙂💕
Thank you!!!! Thank you sooo much for listening to God and sharing this...idk about anyone else but I felt as if this was definitely ment for me!!! I've been struggling with this for a few years now and I cry out to God to help me with direction! You've given me so much encouragement, and tools to use, to truly make a change in myself!
This is so far my favorite video you have done! Thank you so much! Maybe a series on the topic? like a video on different ways to practice self care, how to get more sleep, what to do in the moment of angry outbursts, a list of books that feed this mindset of loving, peaceful momma.... just to name a few 😆
Thank you Ashley! I really needed this video.
Love this! I would love to see more videos diving into each subtopic!
Absolutely needed this!
this was a great video Ashleigh, thanks for being so honest! I have four kids under 7, Im sometimes that yelling overwhelmed mum who's angry with unrealistic expectations then the condemnation comes flooding in coz you love your kids so much but you've just blown it again with parenting. really enjoying this, you had some good tips which are so applicable!
bless you heaps xx
Lisa from New Zealand x
Wow. Praise God. This couldn’t have came at a better time in my life. Thank you so much. God bless you.
I love how you have practical tips. Love this. thank you
Fellow vlogger here, i’m a toddler teacher or i like to say, a teacher of tiny humans hehe but thank you so much Ashleigh this video was so so helpful, lately i’ve been finding myself yelling a lot more in my classroom and i can’t wait to use your advice and hopefully become a better teacher for my little people 😊
I haven’t got kids yet but I just loved these videos. Thank you for sharing some experiences and hopefully helping me in years to come. I just love your channel!
Really great video. A book that really helped is Loving our kids on purpose. Danny silk. Helped to activate their choices. I am not perfect at it I still am learning but just wanted to share with others. With being an angry mom comes a guilty mom. I am tired of feeling like that. We can all do this!
Great video! I love being encouraged to be a better Mumma. Thank you.
Omg thank you for making this video! I needed to hear this
I really identify with you and your journey and I truly appreciate you making this video thank you so much ❤️
This might sound kinda odd seeing as I'm 18 and have no children but I LOVE your parenting videos. I'm studying early childhood education right now and I work in child care. It helps so much when you have perspective and the ability to empathize with our littles.
Great advice for introspection for all of us parents!
Thank you! As a single young mom of two, I have found myself angry. Angry because I’m sad, scared, and with many expectations. Slowly I have noticed what the real feelings are under all the anger, and slowly learn to enjoy my kids every minute.it feels good to know that I’m not the only one that has struggled with anger. Thank you for making this video
Love this!!! My daughter is only 10 months so I'm still in the lovey...cute...she can do no wrong phase but I know the days are coming when she will push my buttons and I may have a few more kids added to the mix so I want to be as best prepared as I can be. I love what you said "they are not tiny adults...they are tiny humans"
I'm going back and watching your parenting videos and when you said "I wondered if I should even be a mom" ooooh boy that was a punch to the gut. I say that to my husband all of the time.
Whew chile. I needed this babe. Thank you.
You are a wise woman. God has blessed your children.
This is gold. Thank you. ❤
I love you!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you for sharing! I truly look at you as an example of the mother I want to be in the future!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for posting this!! It popped up JUST in time for me! I'm 8 months pregnant with baby #3 (+2 stepchildren) and I've been having a HORRIBLE time lately...
I loved this! There is nothing out there like it I’ve come across. I would really be interested in you breaking the topics up and speaking about them. I have two kids about 1 and 3 and I find myself just loosing it sometimes. Very helpful. Thank you!
I also think financial strain can trickle down into our emotions and we handle things with our kids. Would love a video on how or if you budget, especially for groceries etc.
We live on a very small one budget and on top of that my husband is laid off for the winter 😕 It creates a lot of strain for the family
OurSereneLife yes!! Money is such a big issue! I grew up in a single parent household and money wasn't managed well, so the anxiety and stress of not having enough was real and has unfortunately trickled into adulthood. I'm now a mom and my husband is the bread winner and although we get by ok I find myself worrying about money constantly, especially for the children; feeding them, clothing them, if they'll need braces or glasses, etc. 😓
May God provide for you
I really needed this. Thank u so much❤️
I am 8 minutes in and I am thinking, this video topic is your bread and butter. You communicated yourself so clearly and simply for people to digest. This is soooooooo good and so true, and I believe just watching this video will deliver mamas from being bound to the angry mom identity. I am not perfect on this front, especially as a mom to 3 toddler boys. That being said lots of what you shared has helped me a ton. Nowadays I just need to be mindful because I might not raise my voice, but I start operating with zero emotion and it also effects them negatively . There are certain seasons where I find myself more given to my anger, but I think it is tied to when m husband and I are having tension. I appreciated what you shared about other situations bleeding into parenting. Loving the content sis!
Clicked this video so fast! I've been suuuuuch an angry mom lately and I feel so at a loss for how to stop the cycle 😢 I have 4 little boys and a lot of other stress in life. But I need to find a different way. Thanks for sharing this video!
Lauren Goodwin big hugs! 4 kids is a lot to handle, heck one can be a lot to handle. I think she's right, we do not give ourselves enough grace.
I needed this!!!
You're awesome. Thank you for this. ♥
Iv been searching for something like this for a long time and now that I found this video I'm so happy this is amazing how much I needed to hear this thank you 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Yes yes & yes. I am coming out of survival mode now with babies 14 mths apart. One extremely demanding, a constant screamer. Exhaustion, isolation, extended nursing. Angry mum 🙋🏼♀️. Am in the throes of a 3yo who thinks she is my peer and can throw an epic tantrum several times a day with all she has. I am now mentally in a place that I can step back and figure out what she needs and how best to deal with those situations. It’s not the motherhood I expected but it’s fun, exciting, challenging and I grow every day with them. A turning point for me was your advice of turning my thoughts from “I have to” to “I get to”. Getting my babies was a long and difficult road and I even then I struggled to appreciate them. This was a fantastic video.
Wow. Thank you. 100% relate and appreciate this video soo much!! Thank you!!
Beautiful message thank you 💟
Great video! Also something I have worked on over the past couple years because I hated being so angry! I think you hit the nails on the head here. Thanks for reaching out!
I needed this so badly right now ❤️
So many good things in this video, especially about having reasonable expectations, giving yourself grace, and the difference between tiny humans and tiny adults. I’d like to add that in my case I discovered an imbalance in my hormones that was partially to blame. Now that I’m properly medicated I can make the necessary changes in me. 💕
I am coming back again and again to this video
It's relevant to fathers also.
This meant a lot to me. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent video! A+ GREAT JOB! So important.
Ashleigh you are literally INCREDIBLE! You are so well-spoken and wise. I feel like I’m listening to a doctor of child psychology. You have such a profound and attainable understanding of children. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️
this is exactly what i needed to hear today. i feel your video was placed before me when i needed it. I always wanted to be a mom but since i became one i feel im doing it all wrong. after my 2nd was born my anger became bad towards my first child. it didnt help that i was off my thyroid meds as well as having post partum anger and anxiety (i also live with anxiety too) my anger just seems so intense and out of my control. and at the same time my 3 yo is having defiance issues in preschool and at home so it makes me more angry. im a little lost right now to be honest. im so happy to see from the comments though that im not alone.
im literally going to rewatch your video and take notes when the kids are in bed xx
Thank you for making this video.
Oh girl. This is so good!!! ❤️
The best video ever! Thank you so much!
Nagima Satybaeva I agree. This video to me is the best video I’ve seen on you tube about parenting especially the angry or controlling issues
Awwww how lovely you are. You certainly sound like a phantastic mom to me! I instinctively believe all of these but struggle with recognising my needs.
Wow Ashley, this really spoke to me. I've been an angry mom for years and only this year have I been able to get the help I need. A few more tips for those struggling: 1) get therapy! It really helps. 2) make sure you're getting enough love in your love language. Mine is quality time, and if I don't spend enough one-on-one time with my husband and/or best friend, things turn ugly. Thanks for your great video, Ashley!
Third time watching this video over the last few months and still...tears. I just want to say...Thank you.
What a beautiful message! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I have two daughters 1 and 4, and I would dearly love to have another babe in my arms but I’m constantly struggle to keep control of my anger with my two. I’ve been wondering for a while if I could handle another pregnancy and baby but this has helped a lot. Love and thank you again. Niki
OMG I love this video!!! Thank you!
Omg! 2 minutes in and you hit my core and I am tearing up already. I heard you once mention healing your relationship with your boys and I was curious if it was this, just bc of my own experience and feelings.
As a foster mom of a nine year old who has been in sixteen homes and an adoptive mother to a five year old and three year old with special needs (cystic fibrosis) and being single.... I needed to hear this. Expectations, control, education on emotions and behaviors ...I have heard a lot of this but not from a mom in a way that made me feel like you were talking to me as a friend and not judging and I just want to thank you for your transparency and your desire to honor God as a mom and as our sister in Christ. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t feel so alone in this parenting gig :)
Wow! you head it on the head! I needed this video today! It's my 35th birthday today and I'm ready to deal with this head on.. thank you for sharing what you have learned ❤
I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing this and all your recommendations!!😊😊💖😊 You truly hit on just everything. I do wish my kids were still little so I could go back and change the way I was. Of course I can't now but I can change me now. Not exactly change but I am working on me now. The older your children get the more the come into their own and more issues arise. I again am working on myself and I love my kids with all my heart. I have learned allot from you Ashley. I am doing the scripture writing. I am in therapy. I want more of God in my life and more of Godly people in my life. 💖💖🙏💖