Why Some Women Don’t Like “Nice Guys”

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  • Опубліковано 2 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 575

  • @etoillenoir6169
    @etoillenoir6169 6 місяців тому +610

    Nice guys aren’t nice. That’s why.

    • @SoloCityTravels
      @SoloCityTravels 6 місяців тому +41

      Yes! Majority of the time they aren't genuinely kind people

    • @shaypope4732
      @shaypope4732 6 місяців тому +14

      So true

    • @poetickellz8685
      @poetickellz8685 6 місяців тому +18

      Facts there's no such thing they trying to hard to be relevant ☕

    • @shaypope4732
      @shaypope4732 6 місяців тому +10

      @@poetickellz8685 trying hard to have us fall for the bs

    • @KurosakiLuvar01
      @KurosakiLuvar01 6 місяців тому +15

      They are literally the worst. Covert narcs

  • @min_tea_
    @min_tea_ 6 місяців тому +747

    Nice isn’t a personality trait. It’s a human expectation. If you are asking, “why don’t women like me? I’m such a nice guy.”. You aren’t.

    • @ellorasg4525
      @ellorasg4525 6 місяців тому +91

      When someone says they are a nice guy it feels like they are trying to lie to themselves.

    • @MyLifeAsRaphael
      @MyLifeAsRaphael 6 місяців тому +27

      The nice guys are usually covert narcissists. The religion Narcissit are the dangerous one. They are usually nice at the start so you don’t see right through them. They are too nice to be true…they are the wolves in sheep clothing.

    • @blkberrymolasses
      @blkberrymolasses 6 місяців тому +14

      That part

    • @RasheedahNizam
      @RasheedahNizam 6 місяців тому +36

      The nice guy is the guy who would never give another guy a ride to work, or give a homeless guy a meal, or do anything for another man. Not without an audience. If you aren't nice to your own gender, you aren't nice.

    • @Thequeensavedthequeen
      @Thequeensavedthequeen 6 місяців тому +20

      @@ellorasg4525 I imagine the wolf looking in the mirror saying, “I’m such a sweet little sheep!” 😮

  • @Childfree334
    @Childfree334 6 місяців тому +558

    Yeah, every guy is "nice" until they get rejected or hear the word NO. Ask me how I know. 😢

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +46

      Exactly.

    • @kaylam8707
      @kaylam8707 6 місяців тому +62

      Yep. It's a facade.

    • @AmberColeman-gq1wn
      @AmberColeman-gq1wn 6 місяців тому +61

      Exactly! I just said that! It’s like they put on this mask just long enough to get some sort of physical validation from the woman, and if she doesn’t do what they want in their time- they show their true evil colors.
      Every single time, never fails

    • @jenbodhi1133
      @jenbodhi1133 6 місяців тому +19

      Exactly

    • @lmn1516
      @lmn1516 6 місяців тому +8

      💯

  • @misspriss2482
    @misspriss2482 6 місяців тому +375

    Nice guys are entitled. They see women as vending machines. They put in a certain amount of coins (nice acts) and they expect to get a partner. If you really want to know if a man is truly a good person, watch how he treats women that he isn't interested in or has no chance with.

    • @rengurenge
      @rengurenge 6 місяців тому +59

      There was this one guy who in crowded public transport gave his seat to young good looking woman who just entered bus. For longer time next to him stood old lady with bags but he pretended to not see her. Those guys will perform nice guy role for young beautiful women who they want to get but most other women who they don't want will be treated as invisible or mistreated.

    • @Cyhcg5uhgb
      @Cyhcg5uhgb 6 місяців тому +29

      Omg! I dated mainly "nice guys" (I had to make a list of traits these men have so I can avoid them. For some reason I don't often recognize their red flags). This is the most perfect analogy.
      The men I met were not abusive, but very gaslighty and uninterested in me as a person.
      They are nice at the beginning. Very respectfull. Respect your boundaries, are very kind and a bit nerdy. They sometimes keep it up for a month, but the facade always fades away.
      They are usually very uniterested in me as a partner. They just want A girlfriend. Not necessarily you as a girlfriend. Usually they are actually losers who don't have any ambition, they are mommy boys. They don't care about you as a person and just want to satisfy their own needs. They do the bare minimum and expact you to everything for them and if you protest they gaslight you.
      At least this is my experience

    • @heneverforesakesme4038
      @heneverforesakesme4038 6 місяців тому +29

      one really BIG indicator. How does he treat ANYONE in a service role. That is SO telling.

    • @schuylergeery-zink1923
      @schuylergeery-zink1923 6 місяців тому +14

      Yes - how does he treat people in service roles or women who are not of sexual interest to him? Think: if he’s marriage material… is he going to treat me this way when we’re old and gray bc I’m not youthful anymore? Hmm? And if he thinks a wife is like a servant, he will treat you that way, too. A good person treats everyone with dignity and respect, period.

    • @Bobisworld
      @Bobisworld 6 місяців тому

      @@Cyhcg5uhgbgirl yes. I’ve experienced this too but through messenger. I could figure out why eventually this guy who seemed so “nice” on the surface really got on my nerves. But what you just said hit the nail on the head. He wasn’t interested in me at all but only in talking to a girl bc he was lonely and needy. I was interchangeable and it got old. I eventually ghosted him

  • @Cynophileandavianenthusiast
    @Cynophileandavianenthusiast 6 місяців тому +400

    You can't proclaim yourself " a nice guy." Other people will decide whether you are or not.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +56

      Yep. The minute a guy calls himself a "good guy" it's now a huge red flag for me. They're trying to manipulate how you think about them.

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 6 місяців тому +26

      Exactly let me be the judge of that

    • @Egg_Apron
      @Egg_Apron 6 місяців тому +18

      Yeah, it's like the word "ally."
      Somebody else calls you that, when you earn it.

    • @Maybe-An-Alien
      @Maybe-An-Alien 6 місяців тому

      Exactly 💯
      Also can we talk about men and their weird obsession with expecting to be awarded for the bare minimum...
      "So you're a nice guy, oh hey, congratulations on being a decent human, here's your award"🤦🏾‍♀️
      "Oh, you have never put your hands on a woman ever, yep, you definitely deserve an award, nice guy"!
      "So you dropped off your daughter at ballet classes, wow, worlds GREATEST dad, definitely a nice guy"
      Women do this shit and don't get half the praise that man get, because it's BARE MINIMUM.

    • @Maybe-An-Alien
      @Maybe-An-Alien 6 місяців тому

      Exactly 💯
      Also can we talk about men and their weird obsession with expecting to be awarded for the bare minimum...
      "So you're a nice guy, oh hey, congratulations on being a decent human, here's your award"🤦🏾‍♀️
      "Oh, you have never put your hands on a woman ever, yep, you definitely deserve an award, nice guy"!
      "So you dropped off your daughter at ballet classes, wow, worlds GREATEST dad, definitely a nice guy"
      Women do this shit and don't get half the praise that men get, because it's BARE MINIMUM.

  • @dennybick6011
    @dennybick6011 6 місяців тому +376

    When he says he’s a nice guy, it means his disrespect is subtle.

    • @LoveMe0516
      @LoveMe0516 6 місяців тому +17

      This.

    • @valerieosei5312
      @valerieosei5312 6 місяців тому +30

      It also means his “niceness” isn’t natural so he needs to reaffirm it so you know. Rather than just let it speak for itself through his actions.

    • @Cyhcg5uhgb
      @Cyhcg5uhgb 6 місяців тому +22

      To proclaim that you are a "nice guy" is to acknowledge that most men aren't nice.

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Cyhcg5uhgbalso that!

    • @Thequeensavedthequeen
      @Thequeensavedthequeen 6 місяців тому +11

      And they are professionals at back handed compliments, that are JUST JOKES! 😤! A coward but a jerk at the same damn time. 😂

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +400

    Rarely are nice guys actually nice. Guys who call themselves nice or good guys usually are not. They've just learned how to pretend to be what women want. They're almost always covert narcissists--the lady with the purple hair was totally correct on that.

    • @am-harris7458
      @am-harris7458 6 місяців тому

      FACTS! I was recently love bombed by a covert narcissist! They are so full of sh#t!🙄🙄🙄

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 4 місяці тому

      Have you been with majority of men on the planet for you to classify them as rarely?
      And just because they call themselves nice or good guys don’t mean they actually aren’t what they say they are. That’s terrible logic madam lmao

    • @mesarcastic3033
      @mesarcastic3033 4 місяці тому

      The logic behind this comment isnt making any sense.

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 4 місяці тому

      @@mesarcastic3033 Exactly. Nothing about what is being said is objective.

    • @mesarcastic3033
      @mesarcastic3033 4 місяці тому

      @@ssbashalot7324 right. They are taking their experiences and basing it as the majority of whats happening around the world. Its not. If a genuine nice guy wnats to claim that hes a nice guy let him lol it doesnt diminish his character at all because you THINK so.

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets 6 місяців тому +166

    "nice guy" means covert narcissist

  • @Chee235
    @Chee235 6 місяців тому +169

    They need to realize that ugly and short does not equal nice.

    • @LoveAndSnapple
      @LoveAndSnapple 6 місяців тому +22

      😂😂😂

    • @heneverforesakesme4038
      @heneverforesakesme4038 6 місяців тому +49

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Lawd, YES!!! and if you do give them a shot, the ego kicks in and they think they can get "any" woman. Unreal. That's why I tell the young ladies...DO NOT date or get involved with someone you ARE NOT attracted to, it's a waste of time and they turn out to have a multitude of issues and insecurities.

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 6 місяців тому

      @@heneverforesakesme4038my aunt use to tell us “they’ll all treat you badly at some point. So he might as be cute!”
      And we were absolutely NOT allowed to be seen with an Ugg Mugg or ever say “he’s not cute but…”. 😅😅
      I can think back to my exes and be proud. Out of all the shenanigans, I was at least attracted to them.

    • @gonegirl9114
      @gonegirl9114 6 місяців тому

      My 9th grade boyfriend grew up to be exactly that short, ugly, and obese. On top of all that he was a loser homeless and unemployed. Yet he tried to get a t me in our 40s. I tried to be kind in my turn down but he kept on so I had to let him have it and tell him about his bummy, looks challenged self. That dude said but I’m a nice guy.😂😂😂😂😂

    • @CrimsonNemesis
      @CrimsonNemesis 6 місяців тому +7

      D@aaaamn🤣

  • @AmberColeman-gq1wn
    @AmberColeman-gq1wn 6 місяців тому +216

    Nice guys are terrible. They are the most entitled group of men, very disingenuous- and can become aggressive as well.
    They’re rarely ever an actual “nice guy”.

    • @shanicrystal8671
      @shanicrystal8671 6 місяців тому +30

      I once had a guy tell me he was a nice guy but in a really aggressive tone 😅 the irony was crazy

    • @J2307
      @J2307 6 місяців тому +1

      Same

  • @2232Serena
    @2232Serena 6 місяців тому +158

    Self proclaimed nice guys aren't actually nice.

  • @77kc_77
    @77kc_77 6 місяців тому +358

    Nice guys are worse then bad guys - anytime I meet a guy who calls himself a nice guy ends up being a cheater, liar, manipulator, and abuser

  • @spookyjones6577
    @spookyjones6577 6 місяців тому +87

    Breaks my heart to hear how many women have been assaulted….

    • @CrimsonNemesis
      @CrimsonNemesis 6 місяців тому +6

      1 out of every 6. A sobering statistic.

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому +1

      Yep

  • @barefootedbougie
    @barefootedbougie 6 місяців тому +173

    Also "nice guy" is often conflated with "boring with no personality". Narcissistic men are the absolute nicest men around while being abusive and manipulative behind closed doors so please spare me.

    • @schuylergeery-zink1923
      @schuylergeery-zink1923 6 місяців тому +4

      Yah I went on a lot of first dates with guys who were NICE as hell to me. Obviously they wouldn’t go on a date if they didn’t find you attractive already and they’re gonna be nice lol but they were boring or we didn’t vibe or they had baggage they had concealed (baggage like hey I’m getting divorced bc my wife cheated on me and I’m literally on my 2nd date ever and have never had a boyfriend so like… no thanks!). I was polite and did not go on any other dates with them.

    • @princerao907
      @princerao907 5 місяців тому +1

      If being nice doesn't work, then wtf we do?? Fight with u on the first date

    • @barefootedbougie
      @barefootedbougie 5 місяців тому +5

      @@princerao907 It's simple: GO AWAY. If a woman is not interested in your "niceness", leave her alone.

    • @manyrubies
      @manyrubies 26 днів тому

      @@princerao907a lot of “nice guys” fight with women on the first date lol.
      They often don’t know how to interact with women and default to negging and harassment bc that’s all they acknowledge other men doing to women. That’s often what they’re complaining about women not accepting from them bc they think women accept it from other men.

  • @ellorasg4525
    @ellorasg4525 6 місяців тому +154

    Whenever they say, 'I am a nice guy', I ask, "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +5

      Ooh this.

    • @IraSol37
      @IraSol37 6 місяців тому +4

      That's the real question! 🎯🎯

    • @Thequeensavedthequeen
      @Thequeensavedthequeen 6 місяців тому +2

      Using this! Thanks babe!

    • @Bobisworld
      @Bobisworld 6 місяців тому +1

      Love it!

    • @ellorasg4525
      @ellorasg4525 6 місяців тому

      @@Thequeensavedthequeen you're welcome ~

  • @DesiJoy
    @DesiJoy 6 місяців тому +105

    Also, nice guys often become incels.

    • @Priscilla_Boye
      @Priscilla_Boye  6 місяців тому +21

      True

    • @shanicrystal8671
      @shanicrystal8671 6 місяців тому +27

      Deep rooted bitterness is some nice guys I tell you

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +6

      THIS too!

    • @Thequeensavedthequeen
      @Thequeensavedthequeen 6 місяців тому

      Or mass shooters, all the rejection just builds up over the years. And they are truly entitled and believe that every Wombmen really wants them. 😂 Cognitive dissonance! Reality breaks, truth comes out that they are a real loser! So they crash out!

    • @kimberly6243
      @kimberly6243 6 місяців тому +2

      Yep! I've seen it !

  • @muadhnate
    @muadhnate 6 місяців тому +81

    5:25. Both of them were predators. They were playing a game with her. Wow. Disgusting. I feel so bad for her.

    • @kandi6197
      @kandi6197 6 місяців тому +8

      How awful 😢

    • @FireSilver25
      @FireSilver25 6 місяців тому +7

      So awful. That poor girl 😢

    • @Egg_Apron
      @Egg_Apron 6 місяців тому +8

      I concluded the same. Good cop/bad cop game.

    • @Ohdakkeinen
      @Ohdakkeinen 4 місяці тому +1

      If he was truly a nice guy, he would have called the police and volunteered to give witness statement.
      Better still: he would have interfered when he realized she was being assaulted.
      At the minimum he would have tried to urge her to call a friend or other safe person.
      She must have been really scared and shaken up. I feel for her . : (

  • @JaneDoe-s5u
    @JaneDoe-s5u 6 місяців тому +112

    Why do "nice guys" feel the need to make a public declaration.? If there were "nice" then people will see it.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +11

      And it wouldn't feel so manipulative when they're being nice. These guys always do things with an expectation attached and you can FEEL it.

    • @chayo4537
      @chayo4537 6 місяців тому +2

      That whole nice thing applies to women. I've never heard a guy say he was good.

    • @tatianadaniel3569
      @tatianadaniel3569 5 місяців тому +1

      ​@@chayo4537 What??
      You've never heard men say that "women pass up us "good guys" for bad boys"?
      You've never heard men say, "nice guys finish last"?
      You've never heard men say, "women think us "good guys" are boring"?
      You capping like hell.😂

  • @IcantwithYoupeople
    @IcantwithYoupeople 6 місяців тому +125

    men idea of nice isnt actually nice just look at what they think being a good man is paying bills but cheating on his girl is still a good man to men

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 6 місяців тому +26

      He cheats but doesn’t beat you = “nice guy”. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @FIREENGINE3
      @FIREENGINE3 5 місяців тому +2

      @@TinkOutLoudthis comment section has me DEDDDDDDDD

  • @DaftnPunk
    @DaftnPunk 6 місяців тому +75

    Being nice is a bare minimum and I refuse to praise anyone for wants credit for basic human decency.

    • @heneverforesakesme4038
      @heneverforesakesme4038 6 місяців тому +5

      YES!!! just like they want a friggin parade if they so much as heat up water on the stove or wash a dish.

    • @kecym.4808
      @kecym.4808 6 місяців тому

      🔊🔊

    • @tatianadaniel3569
      @tatianadaniel3569 5 місяців тому

      Right. Like my mom says,
      "I'm not going to applaud a fish for swimming".😂😂

  • @XYandZ17
    @XYandZ17 6 місяців тому +67

    My heart goes out to the girl getting attacked twice in one night. All love and strength to you♥️

    • @naediggs4816
      @naediggs4816 6 місяців тому +20

      I want to look into it because that's def not the first story I've heard where a woman gets attacked 2+ times in a row. I keep seeing stories of some POS watching it happen, then taking his "opportunity" as well. Truly sickening...

    • @shaypope4732
      @shaypope4732 6 місяців тому

      Y'all most not every been in a barracks/dorms that have same sex bathroom whoever came up with that idea is evil in my book idc if it was Jesus himself that crap is wrong asl

    • @XYandZ17
      @XYandZ17 6 місяців тому +13

      @@naediggs4816 these parties are full of predators just looking to “score” it’s disgusting.I understand how a lot of other women are also sort of frozen in this state of disbelief and that is just another way these pos get away with it

    • @toscadonna
      @toscadonna 6 місяців тому +14

      This sort of thing was the reason why I didn’t drink at all in college. All of these parties would start out friendly with the guys being “nice,” giving drinks to everyone, then once everyone got drunk, the entire vibe of the party would change. The guys would start trying to get the women onto the beds and taking their clothes off. This is when I’d leave. I even had one rugby player follow me back to my room, but I wasn’t drunk, and he was. So I had the upper hand. All of the girls that I knew who were assaulted in school were plied with alcohol first. Men aren’t getting you drinks out of altruism. They’re doing it to make grape easier for them to get away with. I’m not sure why we ever started telling girls it was safe to drink around men, but it’s not. It makes you weak, lowers your inhibitions, and makes it easier for males to harm you, and then the courts will say, “He was drunk, too,” as if alcohol has the same effect upon someone who’s already bigger, stronger, faster than you and had the nefarious plan to use you as a fleshlight that night instead of his hand.

  • @paracoco1761
    @paracoco1761 6 місяців тому +108

    "Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning."
    - Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear

  • @chiquitaf16
    @chiquitaf16 6 місяців тому +155

    Nobody likes nice Guys. We like just normal guys who are naturally kind, both in private and public

    • @chayo4537
      @chayo4537 6 місяців тому +4

      You don't know what you like or what you want.

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 6 місяців тому +29

      @@chayo4537she just said it. Move.

    • @swvolleyball9137
      @swvolleyball9137 6 місяців тому

      @@chayo4537”You don’t want me.” There. Fixed it for ya hemotional.

    • @fefedobson5820
      @fefedobson5820 6 місяців тому +12

      @@chayo4537And you do? 🤔

    • @FIREENGINE3
      @FIREENGINE3 5 місяців тому +4

      @@TinkOutLoudyall are funny as HELLL 😂😂😂😂

  • @Egg_Apron
    @Egg_Apron 6 місяців тому +56

    "Nice" is a social performance that comes to an end at some point.
    "Goodness" is a mark of character that doesn't change.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +5

      I don't even trust a guy who says he's a good guy. Only the bad guys say that sort of thing.

    • @CrimsonNemesis
      @CrimsonNemesis 6 місяців тому +1

      Well stated

  • @hernameisch3rry
    @hernameisch3rry 6 місяців тому +63

    Also literally no good man I have ever met has declared himself as a ‘nice guy’. Actions speak louder than words. If you feel the need to scream that you’re a good guy, it sets off warning bells that maybe you’re trying to offset your actions with your words.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +4

      Yep. That or when your actions only START to match your words after I have to say something about them not matching. That's always the tell tale sign of a manipulator too.

  • @missnatcula
    @missnatcula 6 місяців тому +44

    I've been told by a lot of dudes 'I'm just a nice guy' or 'I don't get why 'nice' guys finish last' or something along those lines. Its a bunch of lies... 'nice' guys finish last cause they are liars.

  • @tyrreloneal5178
    @tyrreloneal5178 6 місяців тому +30

    This entire video is EXACTLY why I don't call myself a "nice guy" and get SUPER uncomfortable when people do; I let my kindness speak for itself!

    • @tyrreloneal5178
      @tyrreloneal5178 6 місяців тому +3

      7:39 Also, imagine not being able to watch the Oscars because you associate it with your trauma... 😬😬😬

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +2

      As you should.

  • @RickRorose
    @RickRorose 6 місяців тому +50

    Give me a kind man, not a nice guy. Kind men, it’s part of their character and who they are. Nice guys are doing it to get something out of it ONLY and are super entitled, they are only doing something to get a reward. While kind people are just kind to be kind.

    • @CrimsonNemesis
      @CrimsonNemesis 6 місяців тому +3

      Yes. Nice sounds like such a shallow term

  • @PrettyPrincess9609
    @PrettyPrincess9609 6 місяців тому +89

    My ex was a self proclaimed “ nice guy “ and he treated me THE WORST! He disrespected me, let his white friend say the n word around me, cursed me out and when I did it back to him he sent screenshots to my grandma lying to her by saying that I cursed at him for no reason, he constantly played the victim and never held himself accountable, he cried to me about not being able to pay his rent after he lost his job so I loaned him money just for him to NEVER pay me back, I paid for ALL of the dates, I had to drive to come see him all the time because he claimed his car was “ in the shop “, and he cheated on me with this “ best friend “.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +15

      I believe it. Image management is a tool narcissists use.

    • @jesmey4902
      @jesmey4902 6 місяців тому +9

      Sounds like he is a covert narcicisst. I'm glad you got away and hope you heal from his abuse!

    • @unicorn73212
      @unicorn73212 6 місяців тому +5

      Yeah exactly they aren't actually nice there pretending it's super annoying too because you can tell they are a thug there just pretending not to be if other guys are around you they will loudly make comments about my appearance on the bus they know who they are there not nice there extreme shallow, ugly, annoying and pushy when you tell them no there was a guy I ran into like this at a bus stop he parked right behind me and refused to leave saying, "why won't you talk to me? I'm a good guy!"
      Why would a nice guy be propositioning me at a bus stop? Do they really think playing dumb work for them? This probably would have worked on me in high school but not now life changes and women are forced to be persistent about saying no too or some of them won't leave. This is not nice this is toxically nice only wearing the reputation of a nice guy to get stuff from you. They never stop to think that sometimes women really aren't looking to date anyone we value our alone time and our peace you would think a so called nice guy would understand how to respect your space or take no for an answer and move on without taking offense to it.

    • @Aquirian
      @Aquirian 6 місяців тому

      Sounds like you are a dump.

    • @chayo4537
      @chayo4537 6 місяців тому

      You're weak af for not violating. That's why yall get online and talk shit about your own ppl but you don't do shit to these non blacks who come out their face

  • @1237tnb
    @1237tnb 6 місяців тому +28

    I knew a self-proclaimed nice guy. The guy was a creep. He would say things like "I'm only friends with women in hopes that I can sleep with them.", "women don't like me because I'm ugly." (He was average), and "you don't ask a fish how to catch fish. You ask a fishermen." (Meaning women's opinions don't matter to him). He'd touch women without consent, and he didn't treat me like a human being until I told him I was gay (I'm not, I'm bi, but I digress).
    I want to specifically point out that every single thing this man did, he did because he thought it's something a woman would want. He never once asked a woman what she actually wanted.
    I am friends with a couple of genuinely nice guys and they have never once referred to themselves as "nice guys".

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +4

      Yes, and the guys who claim to be all about consent are a red flag too. They've probably gotten into some really morally iffy situations about consent if they're bringing it up that much.

  • @hernameisch3rry
    @hernameisch3rry 6 місяців тому +58

    That last one 👏 how are we supposed to determine which sheep are actually wolves? We have to treat each man like the wolf until we are confident he is not because our LIVES are at stake otherwise.

    • @rizen9457
      @rizen9457 5 місяців тому +1

      Yes!

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому +1

      This !!

    • @sanjhsolanki2419
      @sanjhsolanki2419 Місяць тому +2

      I needed to hear this. I needed to know that I am not being extra cautious, because there is nothing like being EXTRA CAUTIOUS for a woman!!

    • @hernameisch3rry
      @hernameisch3rry Місяць тому +1

      @@sanjhsolanki2419 you are absolutely not being overly cautious! All the men mad at us should be mad at the other men ruining things for the ‘normal’ ones. We are just trying to survive!

    • @sanjhsolanki2419
      @sanjhsolanki2419 Місяць тому

      @@hernameisch3rry absolutely 👏

  • @MissDoffy
    @MissDoffy 6 місяців тому +26

    I talked to a "nice guy" not that long ago. I accept him because he was sooooo "nice" and it was the WORST mistake of my life. Out of all the guys I've talked to he was the worst. Always bragging about how nice he was compared to all the "thugs" I was with before, always throwing a pity party when I said I was uncomfortable with stuff he wanted to do and not me and always making me feel guilty about things because "you were so nice with all those guys why not my? I'm nice and everything" "why are girls always nice with thugs and not nice guys like me?". He was thinking that because he was nice with me (he was awful) and "better" than the guys I've talked to before he deserve everything out of me. HELL NO 😭

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +6

      Exactly. I've dated one like this too. Used to say he was a gentleman and had never hit a woman. In the back of my mind I would always think "you're just leaving things out. You may have never physically hit a woman but I can tell by the way you talk that you probably abuse them in other ways." I was right.

    • @MissDoffy
      @MissDoffy 6 місяців тому +2

      @@Liz-wz8dh exactly. Just because they're not as bad as some they think they deserve everything

    • @RDCFemmes
      @RDCFemmes 6 місяців тому +1

      Yes, they are so entitled...

  • @tasmeenbaker9912
    @tasmeenbaker9912 6 місяців тому +26

    Because ironically "nice" guys tend to be the most abusive ones but they be subtle with it and they don't start showing their red flags until later, which makes it harder for you to leave them.

  • @olikah4667
    @olikah4667 6 місяців тому +20

    Ladies! Don’t ever take a man’s “niceness” as his true personality. I’m yet to meet one that was genuine. Stay safe out there ❤

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому

      Staying safe means staying single and avoiding men

  • @thatlovegirl12
    @thatlovegirl12 6 місяців тому +21

    I've only dated "nice guys" and they still cheated on me and broke my heart

  • @Rose-kj7rz
    @Rose-kj7rz 6 місяців тому +19

    The last self proclaimed "nice guy" I ran into, threatened to punch someone in the face bc they had the audacity to ask me out when they found it I was single.
    He then told me I should be dating him bc he did stuff for me and my mom and was her drinking buddy.
    Dude, we were friends. That's what friends do, especially when someone *just gets out of a relationship*.
    The "nice guy" before that had the audacity to tell me that when I chose who I should sleep with, I should sleep with him instead of his brother, bc his brother could get any woman he wanted.
    I had no intentions of sleeping with anyone, let alone a friend or anyone's brother.
    This is why I despise "nice guys". They aren't actually nice.

  • @genevieveaniko6492
    @genevieveaniko6492 6 місяців тому +17

    I dated a guy who said he was 'nice'.. He turned out to be the biggest monster of all. He just pretended to br nice to disarm me for the horror show he was getting ready to put me through.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 6 місяців тому +1

      Exactly. They have to play nice. Now some them pretend to be very pro-women's rights. It's just an act to get close to women they know would otherwise see through them quickly.

  • @toscadonna
    @toscadonna 6 місяців тому +20

    There’s this video of a male lion who’s pretending to be afraid of a water buffalo calf. The little calf charges the lion, and he immediately shies away and acts scared all the while the baby is being drawn away from his herd. Once the lion has feigned fear and non violence long enough to isolate the calf from his herd, the lion pounced on him and ate him. This is what the “nice guy” is-the lion feigning weakness and fear to name you feel safe enough to let down your guard.

  • @ohhmyyken
    @ohhmyyken 6 місяців тому +30

    Nice guys usually use “nice” as a shield for bullshit.

  • @valerieosei5312
    @valerieosei5312 6 місяців тому +10

    I’ve never met a truly good-hearted, kind, generous man who felt the need to say out loud, for other ppl to hear, “I’m a nice guy…”

  • @joefernandez8008
    @joefernandez8008 6 місяців тому +9

    I forget who said it, but I saw a tweet that said “Nice is not kind. Nice is not ethical. Nice is not moral. Nice is the gift wrapping that covers what’s truly inside.”

  • @thinkinginn7443
    @thinkinginn7443 6 місяців тому +14

    I remember a Reddit AITA story when a guy was at a bar with a female friend and they had a brief disagreement while there. He got annoyed at her, I think that was it. Another guy came up to her and started hitting on her, and despite seeing how aggressive/pushy this guy was and his female friend clearly looking at him to help, he didn’t. He watched in silence and let her in essence get harassed until either he figured she had enough, or she said something to finally get the guy to leave her alone. Then questioned the masses if he was TA.
    I know that at least in the initial story he didn’t make any implication he was trying to sleep with her, but the whole saga showed that platonically his ‘good friend’ behavior was conditional on how he was feeling about her. And it was clear the ‘lesson’ he was trying to ‘teach’ her is ‘if you say or do something I don’t agree with, I’ll revoke my ability to protect or stand up for you. So watch your mouth and actions from now on.’
    Like even if I disagreed or was annoyed with my friends, I wouldn’t jeopardize their comfort or safety. Let alone as ‘punishment’.

    • @Ravenboppityzoppity
      @Ravenboppityzoppity 6 місяців тому +3

      The classic "humble her" situation. This is why plenty of women have given up on even being friends with (hetero) men

  • @BWTM
    @BWTM 6 місяців тому +26

    LOL 😢 This is why we will always choose the bear.

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets 6 місяців тому +24

    There's a difference between nice and kind. You can be kind without being nice, for instance.

    • @Ravenboppityzoppity
      @Ravenboppityzoppity 6 місяців тому

      I was just telling this to one of my guy friends! I'd rather not date but if I did I'd date a kind guy with poor ppl skills over a "nice guy" who only appears loving and genuine as a facade.

  • @olikah4667
    @olikah4667 6 місяців тому +12

    6:01 😢 I’m so sorry for this girl.

  • @RDCFemmes
    @RDCFemmes 6 місяців тому +28

    Before I heard the 2nd girl story, I was telling myself the nice guys are the one who SA women

    • @gonegirl9114
      @gonegirl9114 6 місяців тому +10

      Yeah because my new coworker told me I can sleep at his house because it’s close to my weekend job. I only knew of this man’s existence for 3 days. He says he just a nice guy. He gave me rapist vibes and I had to report him a few days later. He started cleaning my car windows as I sat in my car. I got out and ask him to stop. He didn’t, he told me to let him be a gentleman. Then he asked me did I need a hug, and before I could say anything he had his arm around me. He then asked me on a date. I said no. Next day he brought me food and a valentine card. I reported him that day. He couldn’t respect my boundaries at work what you think would have happened if I went out with him or naively took him up on his offer to sleep at his house.

  • @rn2787
    @rn2787 6 місяців тому +17

    Nice people don't need to tell you they are nice.

  • @KelceyGovan
    @KelceyGovan 6 місяців тому +13

    Being nice is a performance. Being kind is a character trait. Here’s how to tell the difference. When a kind person does a good deed for you, they don’t need, want or expect you to reciprocate in any way or praise them or even thank them. Kind is WHO THEY ARE. But when a nice person does a good deed for you, they fully expect praise, reciprocation and a very enthusiastic thank you. Nice is WHAT THEY DO. To them, they just performed well and you better stand up to cheer and clap or the show is over.

  • @TeeaLynn
    @TeeaLynn 6 місяців тому +10

    Nice people don’t have to tell you they’re nice. I don’t trust anybody that needs to tell me they’re nice.

    • @Karasus_drug_dealer
      @Karasus_drug_dealer 6 місяців тому +1

      It’s the same with “I’m a good (insert religious person here), I would never do xyz. Etc.” like if other people’s reactions to your behavior consistently put you on the defense, you’re the problem and you are not “nice” or “good”. I hear it all the time from some of the most hateful people I’ve EVER had the displeasure of meeting.

  • @lovelydoll1477
    @lovelydoll1477 6 місяців тому +20

    These so called nice guys don’t understand common civility. Having civility doesn’t make you a “nice guy”

  • @youforget1000thingsaday
    @youforget1000thingsaday 6 місяців тому +16

    I dated a 'nice guy' once. He abused me financially and attempted to physically when he walked up on me until i played a tommy lee drum solo upside his head and left him knotty. I bet he won't try that sh*t with any other woman. 😂 I like being a 'nice guy's' karma.

  • @BlkOnyx0508
    @BlkOnyx0508 6 місяців тому +3

    That second girl. My heart and soul go out to her😭. That night is beyond a nightmare. Those demons sick AF 🤮.

  • @Aria3210
    @Aria3210 6 місяців тому +6

    I don't think some men understand the difference between being "nice" and being a genuine kind person.
    Nice is surface level, anyone can be nice, but not everyone is kind.

  • @gabrielnadia1085
    @gabrielnadia1085 6 місяців тому +21

    Nice Man means CineMan if you invert the letters. A fake persona. An actor. A deceiver!😢 Watch out ladies.

  • @kalimbaayinde25
    @kalimbaayinde25 5 місяців тому +3

    I test all men to see how they react when they are angry. Their reaction will let you know what to do.

  • @sennataylor592
    @sennataylor592 6 місяців тому +11

    1) Nice and kind aren’t the same thing. Girls want kind guys.
    2) Nice is the default/bare minimum. Calling yourself a nice guy doesn’t make you a catch, you’re just a decent human.

    • @chattycatty3336
      @chattycatty3336 5 місяців тому

      Literally. They're telling on themselves when they act like being nice is reward worthy. The bar is so low I couldn't trip on it if I wanted to. 🤦‍♀️

  • @yudie2
    @yudie2 6 місяців тому +10

    I’m patiently waiting to read the comments from all the “nice guys.”

  • @shiaclaxton3792
    @shiaclaxton3792 6 місяців тому +13

    Nice guy doesn't mean good man.

    • @tasmeenbaker9912
      @tasmeenbaker9912 6 місяців тому +2

      My ex is living proof of that, he was a nice dude but he wasn't a good boyfriend. He was the most abusive guy I've ever dated

  • @MyBlackPumpkinSoup
    @MyBlackPumpkinSoup 6 місяців тому +11

    Anyone who needs to state that they are 'nice' or 'decent' its actually not nice and the most distant thing from decent. Nice and decent people dont act like Little Red Riding Hood's wolf, crying for you to come closer 'cause 'they wont bite you'. The 'nice guys' are just playing the part they think its gonna make it easier for them get what they want. Disgusting

  • @meganakinsanya4702
    @meganakinsanya4702 6 місяців тому +7

    I’m nice to babies
    I’m nice to elderly people
    I’m nice to disabled people
    I’m nice to veterans
    Nice is satisfactory, agreeable, pleasant- which always means it’s used to garner something or bare minimum
    Good is being desirable, standards are usually approved.

  • @gaudylady7
    @gaudylady7 6 місяців тому +5

    It’s a lot of nice guys with horrific intentions…

  • @RDCFemmes
    @RDCFemmes 6 місяців тому +9

    Surely we know that a nice guy doesn't equate to a good man. By now, we know most of them pretend to be nice.

  • @KnoNow9
    @KnoNow9 6 місяців тому +9

    Nice guys have multiple personalities. They are emotionally unstable, which makes them dangerous. When you unintentionally hurt their fragile feelings, they become demons.

  • @DesiJoy
    @DesiJoy 6 місяців тому +12

    This is such an old perpetuation and it’s more telling of the guys that believe this. It shows just where their maturity level is. I have personally not known any woman that didn’t want a truly good guy. The women I know who were with bad men, kept attracting bad men. There was no “good”guy waiting for her. It’s not true and the men that say this will put up a facade and rear their ugly head later on. 🙄

  • @OGfromQueens
    @OGfromQueens 6 місяців тому +7

    Pricilla I am grateful that even in the motherland women are waking up and refusing to be victims. I'm happy you are spreading the word... I do worry about my sisters because I know African customs are much more harsh on women. Your sister here in the States loves you all, but I worry and wish the best for you too 💞

  • @elleB324
    @elleB324 6 місяців тому +3

    Every man I ever dated who would bang on about how nice he was ended up being a walking nightmare. It is the ultimate gaslight.

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому

      Trust me source: ended up leaving a narc guy who said he was nice.. he had antisocial personality shifts

  • @chaosspy6723
    @chaosspy6723 6 місяців тому +8

    1 some guys pretend to be nice
    2 we don't have to like everyone. if we don't vibe, we don't vibe. nobody wants a relationship like Bethany beal and her sister who admitted to the internet that they aren't attracted to their husbands.

    • @naediggs4816
      @naediggs4816 6 місяців тому

      Wait... are those the Girl Defined girls?????

    • @chaosspy6723
      @chaosspy6723 6 місяців тому

      @@naediggs4816 yes. Bethany also admitted her husband can't satisfy her in the bedroom

  • @LM-he7eb
    @LM-he7eb 6 місяців тому +7

    Anyone that claims to be "nice" is not nice. The benefit of being decent, is being decent. Not being rewarded with sex. Nice people don't shout "I'm nice" from the mountain top. Anyone that claims to br nice, is bad

  • @sincerelyDIF
    @sincerelyDIF 6 місяців тому +5

    Nice guys scare me. Socially they have plausibly deniability for crimes they commit due to the countless positive character descriptions people in their lives will give them and THEY KNOW IT. They know they’ll be believed so they inflict torture upon you SECRETLY when you don’t feed their entitlement. Most serial killers would be described as being “nice guys” by their coworkers and neighbors.

  • @briskettacos
    @briskettacos 6 місяців тому +4

    Nice guys dont hear the word "No."
    If you say that word, they interpret it as "I know better than her, I'll just show her that I'm her best option and then she'll realize how good I am. She'll realize I was right."
    They presumptuously assume that they know you better than you do, and you just have to be brought around to seeing things through their eyes - "the right way."

  • @gonegirl9114
    @gonegirl9114 6 місяців тому +6

    Nice guys are rarely nice. They want something as in the case of a coworker. He was doing things I didn’t ask him to and trying to buy me lunch. He then asked me out…..u see he wants something. Once I told him no thank you he sourly said I was only being nice😩. Said the man with 3 ex wives 8 kids and several baby mamas he doesn’t get along with.🙄

  • @heidi3963
    @heidi3963 6 місяців тому +2

    I like KIND people. Kindness is different than niceness. Kindness means that they actually care about others, not that they are acting "nicely" in order to reap some kind of reward.

  • @laulutar
    @laulutar 6 місяців тому +3

    Being a decent human being should be the baseline, not a marketing gimmick that isn't even true.
    I married a good man, who was totally ok with going to buy me period essentials (because I was in too much pain to move) within weeks of is dating, and who later spent his lunch money to buy me chocolate, because I was having a difficult day.
    He's a truly good human, and has shown it through his words and his deeds since we met.

    • @oOIIIMIIIOo
      @oOIIIMIIIOo 6 місяців тому

      They are rare. We are around four billion women. 😄

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому

      That's rare most of these men don't buy flowers or chocolate.. most of the men who come to my house pet my cat or say they have cats ( they interact differently with animals) ..

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому

      Boom his actions matched

  • @daishawilliams8301
    @daishawilliams8301 6 місяців тому +50

    Nice guys wouldn't be able to protect a women when she is confronted with danger.😊

    • @chayo4537
      @chayo4537 6 місяців тому +3

      You're in danger from the bad guy 😂 dummie 🔫

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 6 місяців тому +1

      FALSE!!!!!!

    • @Mr_Reeflay
      @Mr_Reeflay 6 місяців тому +3

      Men are not your Bodyguards , your an adult human female so be that

    • @Ravenboppityzoppity
      @Ravenboppityzoppity 6 місяців тому +3

      Half the time being with them causes the feeling of danger tbh. The niceness is very conditional and that's what makes it dangerous

    • @TinkOutLoud
      @TinkOutLoud 5 місяців тому

      @@Mr_Reeflay Men are protectors, remember? 🥱

  • @sugarwaterpurple5280
    @sugarwaterpurple5280 6 місяців тому +2

    You "act" nice. You ARE kind.

  • @kadambarih.a9038
    @kadambarih.a9038 6 місяців тому +2

    The "surprise" trauma these nice guys give just makes us stop believing any man's intentions

    • @77kc_77
      @77kc_77 4 місяці тому

      I don't trust them anymore

  • @mehlilith
    @mehlilith 6 місяців тому +3

    Most times they aren't really nice.

  • @DeMarkeba
    @DeMarkeba 6 місяців тому +2

    People are nice irrespective of who likes them or not.

  • @maryamshaaban74
    @maryamshaaban74 6 місяців тому +6

    The term doesn't refer to actual nice men,but rather those who use it as a transaction to get laid. Like I will just be nice to my crush and she'll fall in love with me. Which means they aren't actually nice if they're only doing it with an alterior motive. If you are truly nice, you don't expect women to fall at your feet just because you're nice. Women don't owe you anything for being nice. Also, it's incredibly entitled and souble sided how men think all they have to do is be nice to get women to dedicate their lives too while they are EXTREMELY picky and dissect every aspect of a woman's behaviour in order to deem her "worthy"

  • @sanjhsolanki2419
    @sanjhsolanki2419 Місяць тому +1

    The worst mistake of my life till now was believing in that "nice guy".
    I promise myself to never make the same mistake again.

  • @zanealexanderZA
    @zanealexanderZA 6 місяців тому +2

    It's very simple
    Nice is transactional-they only do something expecting something in return
    Good is constant-they treat everyone the same whether that person can do something for them or not because it's their principle for life

  • @EmyEgy31
    @EmyEgy31 6 місяців тому +4

    the myth of nice guys : men pretend to be nice to get laid only, and cant accept no .

  • @NikahYisrael
    @NikahYisrael 6 місяців тому +6

    "Nice Guys" are Covert Narcissist

  • @BABYDOLL87LOVELY
    @BABYDOLL87LOVELY 6 місяців тому +5

    SOME ARE OVERLY NICE...I DON'T WANT SOMEONE I KNOW I COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OR RUN OVER, IF I WANTED TO. THAT ISN'T ATTRACTIVE. AND ALOT OF THEM ARE BAD GUYS WEARING PRINCE CHARMING MASKS #LoveBombing

  • @Carameldamour
    @Carameldamour 6 місяців тому +9

    "Nice guys" is definitely a title and not a personality trait for most of these guys. The most toxic guys are the "Nice guys". Their insecurities just pick the dumbest fights, they are nice because they want something in return. Dare you say no, dudes will cuss your ovaries and your ancestors 😂😂😂😂.

  • @kerkie
    @kerkie 6 місяців тому +4

    I have a hard and fast rule. I never trust someone who says they are nice. That's a title bestowed by other people, it's subjective. They confuse being nice and being kind. And if a woman calls you a 'nice guy,' they don't trust you.

  • @helena3631
    @helena3631 6 місяців тому +11

    No such thing as a nice guy they just have t revealed thier true selves yet

  • @rebelhenz
    @rebelhenz 6 місяців тому +5

    I’ll take a good man over a bad boy. Don’t know what nice means as that’s not always the case. How about a good man. Who respects women and treats them well. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤔🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @Epodmusic17
    @Epodmusic17 6 місяців тому +2

    We dont want "nice" we want genuinel kindness

  • @rachelanns6357
    @rachelanns6357 5 місяців тому

    My heart goes out to the girl in the second stitch that must have been horrific to go through and then demanded to the deans office as if she had done something wrong?!?! the fuck? And the story you told at the end. That's horrific. I hope he was locked up for life.

  • @TrangPakbaby
    @TrangPakbaby 6 місяців тому +3

    Have a debate with a self proclaimed “nice guy” and watch that veil slip. it’s been my experience that after 2 exchanges the nice guy always reveals himself to be just a dusty as the bad guys.

  • @velvetrose7729
    @velvetrose7729 6 місяців тому +2

    As a Woman....If I were alone Anywhere, on Earth and had to Choose...Who I would feel comfortable being with....A Bear, Random Man or Nice Guy....
    I'd choose the Bear, First.
    The Random Man, Second.
    Third....I would WILLINGLY...Choose, to be mauled by the Bear OR murdered by the Random Man...Than, EVER be Alone... Anywhere, with a self proclaimed Nice Guy!

  • @anastasiab-x2t
    @anastasiab-x2t 6 місяців тому +2

    I am not a nice person, I am a good person. I dont need a nice guy, I need a good man.

  • @yahgirl1726
    @yahgirl1726 6 місяців тому +3

    The guy who asked the question is definitely the not a "nice" guy

  • @oliviabell9691
    @oliviabell9691 5 місяців тому +1

    One of my exes has the banner:
    "Be kind for no reason" on his facebook profile.
    I found out after he love-bombed, future-faked, devalued, and then discarded me, that he was trying to get his ex back the entire time I was with him.
    I was just there to be used as a placeholder, and a way to make her jealous, so she'd come back,
    and she did.
    It worked.
    But he's not just "nice", everyone.
    He's "kind for no reason".
    Remember that.

  • @VaeMhairi
    @VaeMhairi 6 місяців тому +1

    "You act nice because you aren't."

  • @KRW3321
    @KRW3321 6 місяців тому +2

    The problem with self-proclaimed “nice guys” is that they are convinced that they are good people even when they do evil. Any evil they do is always justified.

  • @melchiorlise2466
    @melchiorlise2466 6 місяців тому +4

    Define "nice" ?
    By nice, do you mean you are kind, generous, patient, have emotional intelligence ? Or do you think you are nice by default because you're not a psychopathic murderer ?

  • @obakgwadi7672
    @obakgwadi7672 6 місяців тому +4

    😂😂😂Why are most nice guys broke ?? Is like they think that being nice is gonna compensate for poverty. Like be nice and have your priorities in order. Nice, don't pay the bills boo!!😂😂😂😂😂

    • @FIREENGINE3
      @FIREENGINE3 5 місяців тому

      Byeeeee lmfaoooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @GunnarCastleguard
    @GunnarCastleguard 5 місяців тому +1

    I clicked on this video and instantly my mind went to r/niceguys. Love how they always seem so interested, then the moment they get turned down the halo breaks and their horns sprout from their forehead.