Sharing my depression story for the first time...
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- Опубліковано 9 січ 2022
- For the first time, I'm sharing my experience with depression and what that looks like in my life. I generally shy away from sharing too much of my personal life on this channel, but feel this could help people. In this video I'll talk through what depression looks like, depression signs, depression symptom, teenage depression, hopelessness, feeling lonely and fearful, and a bunch more. Essentially my depression story, and every part of it. If you are struggling with depression, please seek professional guidance.
#depression #mentalhealth
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
Thanks Kati for sharing and being vulnerable with us. love u so much❤️
You are so welcome!
@@Katimorton upvote on love
Wait until you lose your power of seduction.😊
Remember to thank the METOO Karens, now men are afraid to give lifting compliments to women anymore.😊
Fix your attitude and stop using depression as a crutch.😊
One thing that helps me when I’m depressed is to wear a scent from my days when I was happy. It could be perfume , soap or even a lotion. You smell it and it can give you endorphins remembering the happy time. I have suffered from real depression and this has worked for me. Sorry to hear of your struggles Katie but thanks for sharing.
One thing that helps me is putting on my favorite clothes , or putting on a comfy pair of new socks, knee highs , seems to give my legs a hug .
Very good idea.it does help.
I have a spray I put on my pillow. It's lavender scent.
@@KittyKatt_Luna80s Oh I love lavender. That’s such a calming scent.
As someone studying to become a mental health professional and struggling with mental illness, this is deeply appreciated ❤️❤️
I feel like that 🥺💘
Please remember those of us with permanent movement disorders from prescribed meds, EPS, Dystonia, Tardive Dyskinesia, Parkinson's Disease, I have all these from meds ...
And Akathisia.
Thank METOO for it....now we can't give lifting compliments to women anymore.😊
I talk to a therapist and she does absolutely nothing to help me. All of these mental illness "professionals" care about is the money. They couldn't care less about what happens to me or anyone else.
I'm currently trying to study a diploma of counselling but also coming to terms with the fact that i may have ADHD & BPD. I hope it is possibly for people like me to work in this field as all i want is to be able to help people.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kati! I agree with you....therapists who have worked through depression and other issues have the ability to understand their clients better and can offer more empathy than someone who hasn't had that type of experience. You're amazing at what you do and I'm so thankful that our paths crossed. You're a shining light to so many people. Love you!
needed this in the middle of a 2 month long mental breakdown
So sorry 😢
❤️
Depressed at the moment too, trying not to go into full on breakdown this time around…I try to hold on to the good memories I’ve made since 2005 when I almost died (my own doing) and remember it does eventually get better, there are highs to match the lows, you just gotta go through the hard stuff to appreciate them…good luck!
sending you internet stranger hugs 🤗
I'm sorry you're struggling extra right now
Praying you’ll feel better soon🙏🏾💙
Thank you Kati for clarifying the difference between BEING depressed vs having DEPRESSION!... It's usually the older generations that misunderstand the two...
As a teenager with depression, I appreciate you opening up about your experiences. It makes me feel less alone and more hopeful.
Thank you for sharing Kati. My depression symptoms were similar to yours, minus the body aches but I also found myself extremely lonely yet I didn’t want to be around anyone. It was like two different parts of me were going simultaneously. I wanted to be with people yet if I did force myself to interact with anyone I would instantly be annoyed even with my own family or friends. Everything made me mad and I’d flip put over the dumbest things, for example dropping things, losing things, or even having to run the smallest of errands. Fortunately I found the courage to go to the doctor and get on medication now that i’m an adult and can make my own medical decisions. In addition, I also have my best friend to thank for being my “therapist” in the mean time. She was always honest and gave me an outside perspective, even if I didn’t want to hear it or thought she was wrong. She wasn’t, I was just so angry. She truly saved me. I would one day love to try therapy but due to still living with my parents that is currently not an option due to the stigma they have.
That sounds familiar, the whole not wanting to feel alone yet getting annoyed by other people's presence.
Since you're legally an adult, can you go to therapy and just not share that with your parents? Maybe do online therapy at a time of day when they're not home, or schedule in person therapy right after work/school so you can just say you worked late or were studying, etc? The sooner you start the sooner you'll be able to get the benefit...
@@rustyjeep2469 it would be nearly impossible. Thanks for the ideas though, I may be able to find a way. Fortunately my medication has been a tremendous help. For now I am taking it one day at a time, and setting small goals that are achievable are helping me to stay motivated. I am also taking more time to do the things I want, and am involving more self care into my daily routine.
I can totally relate to the feeling of being lonely but not wanting to be around anyone. I want friends so badly and yet I'd rather be by myself most of the time.
I am lonely and also hate people at the moment too, lol. Very familiar feeing with depression. I also want to help people with stuff but then feel overwhelmed when they ask.
Kayla oh wow. I felt exactly the same way. Lonely with no one. Annoyed with anyone around..I thought it was just me
Thank you for your honest sharing. I’m beginning to think therapists who know the struggle of PTSD, complicated grief, depression-anxiety are most able to have empathy, to avoid treating clients as “lesser” and to help guide others toward healing.
I went through a bout of depression a few years ago due to a traumatic job loss. I did everything I was supposed to do & what I recommend to others (exercised several times a week, went to therapy & support groups, reached out to friends, happy light every morning, made a routine, set reasonable goals, etc) and to be honest, it don’t make me feel any better at the time and I really had to fake my way through it but I found that my bout of depression went away in an extremely short amount of time (weeks instead of the months). These actions didn’t make me feel better at the time but putting in the work made all the difference in the long run
I’m working on becoming a therapist myself. And I always thought to myself that us therapists can’t feel this way. I always thought it would be hard for them to feel this way. However. I truly understand by watching this channel that, no matter who you are or what occupation you are going for, we are human and can have these emotions. I’ve been pushing through my mental health and continuing my journey to become a therapist! Thank you Kati!
Honestly i’m glad to know that even therapists can struggle. It is a great reminder that we are all human at the end of the day, and is nice to know that they have been there, and truly understand what we go through.
You don’t just become a therapist but also become a hero you save life
Your video came right on time. I just turned 60 today and it hit me that I’ve never felt normal , always lived in fear, and felt awkward compared to others. Thank you for all the information you put out. I suffer from anxiety and depression since I was born I think. Thanks again for your story.
I can relate. I’ve experienced this all my life. Not every day of it, but often. I’m 71 and in one of the worst depressions ever.
Me too just turned 64
Omg me 2! 😢I’m crying just hearing you say that..I’m 60 also. I never ever walked into a therapy office. I’ve turned to God all my life, without Him, idk what my life would of been like. I’m married 40 yrs, 4 growns, 7 grandkids. And life you know. But the feeling never went away. God bless us.
@@margrose5 I hope you're doing better as I type this on 2/21/23 ❤🌹
@@dadsarepeopletoo3785 Thank you for your kindness. Yes, I am doing better at this time. God bless you.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kati, I wish more therapists were as genuine as you seem to be, and as honest about their own battles.
I think I've been depressed most of my life. I think my parents have been too and being raised like that had made depression a norm for me. Its hard to know what I enjoy because everything takes so much effort.
I‘m sorry to Hear that, because I can relate. I was depressed Since puberty and thought This is How I am, because I managed to do my stuff.
I‘ve Been in therapy for a while now and learned through experience that This is Not my True Self and I feel a lot better now. I Hope This gives you Hope that it can change and that you can get better. Wish you the best :)
Important to remember thiers lots of us out their and in other countries and just sharing you're story helps
I never realized how much mental and physical pain I was in due to depression until I woke up from anesthesia after a minor surgical procedure. People say they always feel groggy but I remember feeling like a million bucks, better than I remember feeling in my whole life even. I felt normal.
I’m battling depression every day since my 15 year toxic relationship ended with my narcissist ex. I will pray for you. I can see the pain in your face. Plz be strong.
I recognise those depression symptoms in both my parents. My Dad just slee byps while my mother has anger under the surface that comes out in these long, circular rants about basically everyone she knows. For whatever reason, I've escaped that chronic depression. I've had extended period of being down but there was a concrete event associated with it and i think the depression was the normal, understandable reaction rather being a condition.
Thank you for sharing Kati. I always felt connected to you when you used the word “we” when talking about mental health issues. I assumed it was simply because you were an exceptional therapist. Now I know it’s because you’re an exceptional therapist who also has experience with mental health issues 💕 you’ve done so much good for this world.
“He who has suffered, knows suffering and therefore extends his hand”
I really liked that you talked about your own experience really love it
We support you and love you 💘
Thanks Hayam. xoxo
@@Katimorton you replied to meeee
I loooove uuuuu ❤️
Thank you so much for being so open. You've truly restored some hope within me by sharing your story. Wishing you happiness & peace.✌️
You're a beautiful open soul, thanks for sharing! It's nice to hear those who struggle with depression and are able to overcome it. 😊
Thank you Kati for sharing this.This is really empowering. ✨
If you’re going through a difficult moment, you’re not alone. Sending love 💕 🙌🏽🙏
Thank you for sharing Kati! You are so appreciated. Sending my best across the pond x
This is what strength looks like. Thank you for being authentic Kati!
Thank you Kati!! I really needed this video. you can't imagine how helpful this video is, especially today!!
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much for sharing, Kati! I’m currently reading Traumatized, and I’m loving every page💕
This was amazing. Thank you so much for posting this!
As I’m currently struggling mentally, this gives me hope. Thanks for sharing
THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO HAVE YOU SHARE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Kati, I’ve been watching your videos for years and I’ve always been amazed by the extent of your knowledge and how firsthand your understanding of mental illness and emotional pain seems to be. It’s an honour to hear your story now and to learn that you truly do know what struggling with mental health feels like, beyond the textbook knowledge and employing empathy to imagine the pain of others (but I’m not dismissing mental health professionals who can’t relate to us, anyone who enters the field is a godsend). Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability. We, your viewers, are all embracing you in one big virtual hug.
Thank you Kati We love you!!!🥰
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot when providers talk about how they have experienced mental health issues and how they deal with it. Thank you soooo much and thanks to Sean for being your calm in the storm.
Kati, thank you so much for sharing you story. I have struggled with depression since I was about 13 yrs old. At times it has taken so much out of me, hit rock bottom and I have felt so alone in dealing with it. You are indeed very strong and you are an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your story Kati 💕
I needed to hear this today. This really helped me. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing Kati. Your own experiences are probably what make you such a compassionate and effective therapist. Journaling (your suggestion) has kept me sane for the past couple of years.
I’ve known of Crisis Text Line for 6 years; used it too.
Thank you for sharing this Kati! ♥️
Thank you so much for being brave enough to self-disclose about this. Ive struggled a long time and it feels really lonely. I relate a lot to this and I’m grateful for you and all you do through these videos.
Thank you for sharing this Kati! I find myself in everything you felt, been going to therapy for years, unfortunately I’m feeling it’s slowly getting worse and wonder how much I can still not give up. But you’re so comforting and I’m feeling less alone. In recent live I accidentaly found it and wrote how I feel, you responded and my whole body just got super hyper I started crying bcz of connection I feel and it was then that you just saw me that moment and understood, it felt like a true hug. I hope you’re well and soooo thankful for you❤️🙏🏼
Thank you so much for sharing Kati. I’ve been really struggling the last year (and also growing through the struggle) and your videos have been so so helpful during this, they’ve helped me (and my partner who works in mental health) gain so much knowledge and perspective into ourselves and our mental health and I am so grateful for you. Thank you ☺️
Ps - I know we’re all different, but I find that I get tearful when I am talking about past struggles when my emotions are on the surface and there’s something else I’m not addressing. I’m not saying this is the case for you but wanted to let you know that I hope you’re ok and find a new therapist that works for you. I’ve been looking for the right match for over a year so I understand how hard it can be to find. Sending my love.
So vulnerable! Thank you for sharing your experience, Kati! Much love! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing, Kati! You’re so strong for facing what you’ve gone through. I loved the bit at the end about how you believe going through your own struggles can potentially make someone a more empathetic therapist. I know personally I’ve wanted to become a louder advocate for my own mental health struggles because of the lack of information society has about it.
Thanks for opening up to us Kati!♥️ Being diagnosed w depression myself, what you’ve said here really resonates. Btw, your mom is AWESOME! 💐💐
I'm a 20 year old male and going through a bout with depression and existential anxiety, and even though our experiences are different in a number of ways, the language you use to describe your depression is very similar to how I feel right now: "I feel like a passenger in my own life," "I don't want to be the person I am."
I have been doing better as of late, though. It's a work in progress. I wish anyone else who is going through this well. Seek help, and please, be patient with yourself and your circumstances. Things get better, but it will take effort! And we all have what it takes to get through this!
Thank you for being courageous and transparent. I feel grateful that you shared your story with your audience and hope more people find your content and hear your story.
Thanks Kati, I've been watching you for years and seeing you be able to be so raw and strong in front of the camera after so long makes me feel confident in my own recovery too. Thanks for all that you've given over the years xo
Thank you so much for sharing Kati. I struggle with depression/anxiety and want to become a therapist after high school. I've been in a really terrible state of mind and was just thinking the other day how can I help others when I cant help myself. Your experience has really given me hope that someday I'm going to be a damn good therapist and its possible life can get better.
I discovered that by recognizing my inner child I am much happier. I was never a believer in that concept but it is vital to our whole being. I forgot my childhood almost completely and I am only 25 until I tried to remember the child I used to be. I am going to a school to become a Registered Nurse and it empowers me to help others with empathy.
Thank you for sharing your story Kati
One of your best videos yet! Keep up the great work!!
Thank you Kati, I really needed this right now. I'm in the first year of my Psychology with counselling degree and i got my first essay back that I did God awful on. Recently been really struggling with thoughts that I'm too ill or not good enough to be a therapist because of my personal mental illness. Knowing that you have also been there, your such a role model for me, definitely lifting my mood and giving me some encouragement that I can still do this if I keep working hard. Thank you.
I thank you for this. I grew up in a emotionally dead and abusive/ violent family and it extends back generations. These videos help me understand myself a little better and also understand why I am the way I am and become a better person through that.
That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story. ❤️
Thanks so much for the story!! All your videos are so helpful and these personal ones are especially so. Really love how open you are with the community
Thank you Kati for sharing! I never thought of exactly what my depression has looked like especially from someone on the outside until you mentioned what your friend said to you. For me, my first round of depression looked like a young girl actually having fun. I would go out alot and drink with friends but I would feel like a shell of a human. I would come home and just cry and curl into a ball. I avoided being alone as much as possible because I didn't want to feel the horrible feelings. Now if I slip into depression, I am completely exhausted and I get ill (usually the only time I actually get sick). I get super quiet and don't get a whole lot accomplished. I would say I have more of the traditional effects of depression now than I once did. But to this day people are surprised when I say that I was depressed when I was younger because you would have never realized it on the outside.
Thank you Kati for sharing your story ❤ One of the things that ive learnt thru out recovering from depression is that, we dont necessarily need to find our 'old' self. Because in my experience, being depressed really makes me feel lost and i miss my old-happy-self, and i believe that i have to find it again. But actually, it is okay to lost your old self. you have to find the new you, the person who has survived depressed episodes, the person who has gone thru the hardest thing in our life yet we still holding on and not give up.
I can totally relate in so many ways Kati. It’s refreshing seeing another health professional be so open about their mental health. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing your story!
You made me tear up at the end when you said just because you have mental health struggled doesn't mean you can pursue a career in that field. I'm a student nurse & struggling with mental health issues. A few of my teachers have told me they see me in mental health but it seems so intimidating & also how can I be in that field when I can't get my own sh*t together, that's how I think
Thanks a lot Kati for sharing. Currently I’m struggling with a bunch of things (BPD-ptsd-bipolar)including depression which I think is one of the things that affects me the most. I get sad, sleepy, might overeat a lot in short period of time, headaches, pain everywhere, and more. Thank you for showing me that people with mental health issues can overcome it. I totally agreed there’s no better therapist that one that has lived with a mental health issues, it creates more empathy and makes it more believable. I hope someday to be ok, Thanks for inspiring me. Love from Ecuador.
Ty for sharing your story. You are a amazing person.
It's great hearing your depression story because I can relate so much to it and I've been following you for a while. It inspires me that you are struggling with mental illness yet educate and help others with it. It makes you most qualified to be talking about it tbh bc you've went through it. Doesn't it make everyone upset when they are depressed as hell but everyone says "you're negative" and "i don't want to be in your presence"? It's like the one thing we don't want to hear and for people who have said that to me when i was in a dark place, I just kinda didn't trust them anymore.
Thanks for sharing this! I’m a Social Worker and I feel so many in the field went into it because of personal experience but feel they have to keep that secret due to the internal stigma. You don’t need to self disclose but I hope anyone watching feels seen and less alone as they balance everything throw their way. 💛
Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable makes me admire you even more. I'm also a MHC and also tend to cry when talking about personal things that are emotional for me. I'm working on not feeling bad about it, and seeing you getting emotional and showing it means a lot to me. Thank you.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
You are a kind soul. Thank you. 😊
Thank you so much for expressing such private information to all of us.
Your support means the world to many.
We are here for ya.
My symptoms were very similar as well. The one thing I wanted to point out that i’m not sure if anyone else experiences but there is a difference between sadness and depression. Sadness can be enjoyable and sometimes painful but it feels like you can feel what needs to be felt were depression for me feels like numbness. You wish you could cry. Beg for sadness but you don’t feel anything until a certain happy or sad thing sets you off and then you explode with tears or anger.
Bad example but sadness feels like vomiting, you get it out and move on were depression feels like being nauseous but never getting to the vomit part if that makes any sense
As a therapist, I so appreciate posts like this. It doesn't make you less of a helper. It gives you insight and empathy. I still struggle with depression and continue to do therapy.
Love you so much Kati. Thank you for sharing this video with us.
Thank you for sharing your story. I always appreciate it so much when therapists tell their story. It makes me feel less alone, like they understand or at least have an idea of what's it's like to go through what I've been going through. More relatable. It's not easy. Thank you for showing us this side of you and Thank you for everything you do. 💙
So relatable on so many levels. I grew up in Washington State, was suicidal in junior high. Pulled through that on my own. Eventually moved to Southern California, started my own self-help business with positive affirmation jewelry because of my childhood struggles, and now I live in Texas too. I can totally relate and parallel to your story.
Thank you for this, and all the insights, expertise, and feelings you've shared! You have definitely helped me hold it together for the last few years! I think I can honestly say that you've helped me from stepping over the ledge more than once. It sounds dumb, but being able to cry with you sometimes has given me a sense of connection when I can't find a friend.
xoxo
Thank you for sharing this. This is so me.
Thank u for sharing your feelings with us and letting us know we are not alone out here🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I would not want to see someone if they could not be honest about their own struggles. Therapists aren't magical people who don't have troubles.
I love the way you communicate your information. It’s relieving.
I'm so glad :) I appreciate you saying so.
Oh wow, I never knew that. Thank you soo much for sharing, Kati! You can be so proud of yourself. I'm so glad that we all have each other in this community. Right now I'm also at a pretty dark depressed place again and it's kinda good to see that struggling is valid and that I'm not the only one. Sending you the biggest hug ever! ❤
Thanks for your honesty
I struggled with depression in college and again when I had my sons. I had severe postpartum depression both times. I don't really struggle with depression now, but I do struggle a lot with anxiety. Therapy definitely helped me, and I would encourage everyone to seek it out when they need it.
I’m blown away thinking about your mom buying you flowers to cheer you up.
I’ve never known anyone who’s mother was that interested in their kid’s wellbeing. It was more like, “why are you being such a pain?” Would be a more typical reaction to being depressed.
Thank you for your sharing. It is always touched to get to know other’s experiences ❤️love Kati
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and story.
Thank You for being here for me Kati.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
I cried along with you and I was listening to every word.
I appreciate you so much 🌹
You are so welcome RayRaya :)
"I like you, but you're just not fun to be around."
I needed to hear this. My father's been deeply depressed (with the main signs being extreme lethargy and lack of appetite) for the past couple years or so. Couldn't put a finger on what my thoughts/feelings towards him were for ages and ages, but that line really stood out to me.
Thanks for the video Kati and keep on making more!👍
That is such a valuable video!! Thank you for sharing your story! 😊
Sending you all the hugs 🤗
Wow. I haven’t watched your videos in quite awhile. I’m impressed by how much you’ve opened up about your own personal experiences. It makes you so much more relatable and trustworthy. Well done Katie.
You’re brave and so honest. I couldn’t get past your grandfather “bailing” on you when you were at University … what a kick in the gut … You have helped so. many by being so open. God bless you, Kati. ❤️🇨🇦
Hi Kati, thank you for sharing your story! I have depression myself. One of the most difficult symptoms for me to deal with is the derealization/dissociation. I feel like a robot sometimes. I also have fatigue, a lack of motivation, etc. Something that helps me cope is spending time with my pets. I love taking my dog for walks.
Thank you Kati !
Your openness is refreshing. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kati. I definitely agree that depression can look different on everyone. I have a twin and we both are on the other side depression, but we definitely presented very differently.
I do I have one symptom, in addition to my many others, that I am def going to research. I told my therapist that my perception of colors was different when I was depressed (which I’m not even if I am explaining it correctly or if it’s even possible/a thing). It seemed like colors were more muted and dull. Once I started to come out of the other side, I noticed a change in colors’ vibrancy. I called it my version of The Upside Down (term via Stranger Things).
I think one thing that has helped me A TON is finding a creative outlet. For so long I just “knew”I wasn’t creative, I was wrong. My creative projects are almost meditative for me.
Take care everyone!
I’m struggling with this right now. Torn whether I should go on medication or not. Thank you for sharing❤️ I can’t seem to find anything fulfilling, nothing seems to matter. I’m not going to give up, I have hope that I can beat this
I feel you completely it’s been 3-4 years I can’t afford therapy not do I make less to get financial help to go it just sucks
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability to share your struggles!! 💕 Your channel has helped me so much! Love you!
You are so BRAVE! Thank you.
Thanks for the insight into your depression Kati. I never knew this about you. I just finished your book and really enjoyed it. Very insightful and relatable.
I’ve got her 2nd book on my windowsill and can’t wait to read it
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I know it’s not easy for you, as a chronic pufferfish 🐡, but you sharing your story means more than you know to those of us who’ve shared your struggle ❤️❤️
I agree TK! It has definitely helped me.
T.K. hello long time how have you been how's everything nice to see your name here
@@kayleighdittemore8352 hello it's Nikki do you remember me we met on Kati s videos
@@nikkimckay860 hey! How are you doing! I’ve taken a bit of a break from being in the comments section so I can focus on my own mental health
Thank you Kati for sharing your story, I can definitely relate to all of it, haven't gone to therapy yet but your videos have helped me to be more aware of myself.
Great video Kati. Nice to see that there is hope.