Let's Unpack the "UGLY STAGE" of Locs & Natural Hair.
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- Опубліковано 31 лип 2023
- #uglystage #loccommunity #naturalhaircommunity #4chair
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The Ongoing Project
patreon: patreon.com/mayowasworld
paypal.me/mayowasworld
venmo: @mayowasworld
mayowasworld
Music : "Love so Good"
The Ongoing Project - Розваги
Maybe the "ugly stage" is that because you get to see the ugly truth of those who don't like you for the natural you. Actually the blessing stage.
Wow well put. Amazing ❤
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I love this comment ❤
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Makes so much sense… that’s deep!
I just got a compliment from an old drunk man today. He said "hey rasta girl your hair look beautiful" my hair has about 4 inches of new growth and I feel great about that. Idk how many times I have gotten cards and recommendations for a retwist. My hair is clean and healthy. That's all that matters too me
Yessss 💛
I call them sprouts and I think it’s so pretty cuz it reminds me of when I garden and I see the early stages of life with a new plant. It’s at the sprout that you learn to appreciate every bit of growth, visually but most importantly internally ❤️ it makes me sad when a friend of student hides their hair in the early loc phase cuz my brain just thinks it’s so beautiful because it’s you and gardening has helped me see the beauty in all stages of the journey 💚🌱
@@marajones1828this is such a beautiful comment ❤
As it should! ♥️
HELL YEAH!!!
Black nations legally criminalizing Blackness in its natural state is mind boggling. Natural hair is "untidy"? Smh 😭
I started my locs in 2020. I’m soooooo glad I’m not one of those people who have to gel my edges to feel beautiful. I feel gorgeous however my roots look and it just doesn’t bother me. It’s working for me and this is the longest I’ve seen my natural hair ever. I love how we can just be free.
You're a woman after my own heart ❤
Me too! Everything you said ! I started in 2021 and I’m in LOVE I love it best without my re-tie (i interlock) I just can’t go longer than 4-6 weeks because I’ve learned that my locs thin out at the new growth when they get too long.. I be sad about it cause I love the Rasta look ❤
Shout out to you! I feel for women who have gelled their edges to an oblivion or have worn weave for so long their edges are RIP-ing. Good for you for loving your hair AS IS.
I don’t have locs but I noticed the same thing happens in the natural hair community with loose natural hair. When I first did my big chop and I had a twa, I was bullied for having short hair and called “ bald headed “ and compared to “ Side Show Bob”. I was bullied both online AND in real life and I was in my freshman year of college then. I started to hate my hair and I became OBSESSED with growing my hair long. Now my hair is long and I realized that I had internalized anti blackness. It took me a while to realize that but having long hair does not define me and if I did cut my hair again it wouldn’t make me any less beautiful.
There is no "ugly stage" of freeform locs.... People just don't want to acknowledge real beauty.
I also wanted to add that having sparse density hair is also looked down upon, and the strive for thickness within the loc and natural hair community
I've had locs. They were my absolute favorite look I have ever had. They made me SO FREAKING HAPPY. And they looked good. I felt so at home. I grew them out from a TWA. I have very kinky hair. I went through a definite "buckwheat" stage and it was rough for me vis a vis other people. But you know what?!!?! That's when I learned how to LOVE and APPRECIATE myself!
Despite all the hatred towards nappy hair! I'm forever grateful for that journey because it freed me from these European beauty standards and the self hatred black people carry. I got so much hatred and denigration. Especially from my own Naija 🇳🇬 people. I got through with God's love and developed a deep sense of self love. Thank God for that experience. It's literally the bedrock of my self love. But it wasn't EASY!!!!
LOVE TO ALL MY BLACK 🖤 WOMEN!
I'm glad you were able to see it for what it was, and throw off the chains of self hatred and embrace you in all your beauty and uniqueness. No one else can do what we do with our hair! It's powerful!
@@TheKrishmaa ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌🏾 Thank you!!! 🙏🏿
In Nigeria they call it Dada😂
@@davidemele3763 Yes-o!
❤❤🫶🏿
Them baby locs were antennae reaching for a higher power ❤
I remmember mine were drawn up to my ears and I put on a nice dress and went to my sons' preschool graduation. I don't know who stared because after a bit I was just so proud of my two little boys that nobody else mattered. And now my locs get caught in my waistband and the boys are in their 20s. It continues to be a wonderful journey.
I bet they look so marvelous 😍
@@SummerSecretz thank you. They really do.
This is so sweet 🥺
I've had mine for nearly a decade.
Lovely ❤
I started my locs in 2007. I cut them because of damage (retwisting too much, dying and bleaching) then I grew them back. When I grew them back i only retwist like 3 times a year now. There was a woman I knew who always called me "baldheaded Mia" because I had baby locs. Meanwhile my hair was thicker than her long hair. This was about 5 years ago. I just saw her again with longer locs. She said " oh I can't call you baldheaded no more, cuz your hair is long now." I'm like sis I wasn't baldhead before, my scalp was full...wth you talking about?
she sounds like a hater for sure.
Yoooo 😂😂😂😂 we must know the same biyotchhhh ! This girl hair was so damn thin you could see the right side of her head from the left AND had the nerve to tell me : "find a style you like".
You should have told her to kiss your a*s
She sounds like one of those girls who make fun of type 4 hair and see 3 and 2 as "good hair" 🤢
She's jealous and insecure
coming to terms with your natural self is one of the hardest things in a world that wants you to conform to all kinds of "beauty" standards so badly, but it is also the most rewarding things a person can achieve.
This happens with braids too in a slightly different way. I used to have no clue what to do without them. I’m curious to see you delve a bit into an overreliance on protective styles as another way of hiding from ourselves
I feel targeted 😂
Omg meeee . Braids were my protection but now I’m loccd I’m free now .
People with 1-3 types get pixie cuts, which does not negate their femininity/beauty as harshly as it does in the black community. So many protective hairstyles require hours of work, and that really is a long time to feel unpresentable.
2011 i had a stroke all my hair was cut off for surgery when it grew back i began wearing my natural afro then the traditional locs cut them went back to the natural afro now freeform locs i was already use to strange looks being young and crippled so the stinksge wasnt a issue for me white people give me more compliments than my own people
I had a stroke at age 10 so I know what its like being Black and disabled like that on top of the hair stigma! Hoping u recover well ❤
I'd like to see a 'you may never have long natural hair and that's ok' video. That is one of the lesser talked issues in the natural hair community, how black girls and women in this newer pro natural age are being told that they can all have long hair, you're just not doing it right. It leaves people feeling lost and inadequate when they don't achieve these longer lengths. I don't see anyone unpacking that or saying it's ok. The natural community is not just obsessed with texture, loose hair, curls etc but also length and pushing the idea that length is for everyone, nothing to do with genetics and easily achievable if you just follow the rules.
This is definitely something I struggled with when I was trying to make my loose natural hair work. Seeing all these women on UA-cam with looong, thick hair, abnormally so, telling you that you can have hair like this too if you actually tried. You're struggling to grow out your hair? You're not doing it right, no, you're not committed enough, not patient enough. The gag is, these girls have genetics that allow them to grow their hair with relative ease as long as they practise somewhat healthy habits. For a lot of us, it's just not possible, especially if your hair is thin, fine and breakage prone... Like mine. The truth is, if you were meant to have long hair, you would have had it already. I'd see girls with hair that was closer to mine, short, thin, unremarkable hair. They'd toil away for years and still not be able to get past shoulder length. It made me feel like a failure of a black woman for not having big hair, and not wanting to put in the hours of work and commitment to achieve it because of how discouraged I felt. I had moved from holding myself to unrealistic eurocentric beauty standards, to now holding myself go (slightly more realistic, but still destructive and unhealthy) afrocentric standards. Eventually I just gave up and loc'd my hair, and honestly that was what freed me from all the heartache. I went from hating my hair and seeing it as a burden, to loving it and letting it do what it wants. My locs are still short, still frizzy and nappy, but I love them now for the freedom they give me, and I can see their beauty and their potential. And I know the obsession with length in the afro hair community is toxic at times, but I can't deny that I've always wanted long hair, and do feel prettier with it. With locs, I actually feel like I have a fair shot of growing my hair to lengths I've never experienced, and seeing the fullness and volume I never had. I know that's years down the line, but I'm just excited to go through the journey and enjoy my hair at each and every stage
Your right. Especially with the stigma towards hair that sticks up. I remember I had my hair in some baby locs and they stuck up. I went on a roller coaster and some women behind me on the coaster were laughing at my hair. Luckily by then I had already learned to love my hair no matter the state it’s in. ❤ your beautiful and your videos are amazing! Keep doing your thang ❤❤
I'm so happy I came across your channel 4 years ago! You've always came with content that touches upon those intersections of thought that those wouldn't notice or want to acknowledge for themselves, because let's be real, we NEEED this dialogue! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Thank you, Mayowa!
I get tired of people telling me when they think I need a retwist
@@AuntieThree Riight, our ego's like: Could I have my hair to myself and let it do what it do?? 😆😏 Even if said intention was to help, I'd still feel a type of way, tbh
yessss!!! also you and your locs are gorgeous!! love the color and bangs 🤩
@@hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii5 Thank you, kindly! 🐉(●'◡'●)✨✨
100% well said. locs just reveal how much u truly love urself. its up to u to face ur battles and grow as a person or to run away from them and live a lower quality of life.
I just think it sucks that her mental breakdown became the center of this topic cause I feel like in the moment of recording.. she was having heightened emotions. She has a LOT of trauma and feelings that she has to work on.. it's the same feeling that I have to work with when I'm taking a break from a protective style with long faux locs or passion twists and I'm back to my short frizzy poofy type 4 hair. Granted, she posted her mental breakdown on the internet... so "it's fair use" I GUESS. But at the end of the day I think a lot of black women have a moment of time where they really do sit down and confront those feelings, and they can grow past it!! Loving our hair is such a journey... and for the sake of that woman in the mentioned video.. I hope that a year from now she sees herself differently. She might not be there yet but she will get there, all of us will! We're ALL beautiful!!
Watching this as I re-tie my own, almost 9 months loc'd. I feel so deeply for the people who have thin hair with new locs. You mentioned shrinkage and lack of length, but thinness is a part of that hierarchy too. Thin hair and short locs is definitely a test of will, especially for us ladies.
I feel for the women who jumped into locs without ever wearing their natural texture as-is, no manipulation at all. I wore my natural hair for 6 years before getting locs, so I think that gave me time to not only learn the ins and outs of my 4c hair maintenance and learning how it grows, but also navigate the short hair phase and awkward phase with my cute little bantus and puff balls along with my TWA. People going into locs with type 3 hair, I can't say that I understand or share their struggles.
Yesss no one talks about thinness and density!
I’ve always wanted locs since I was a little girl, but the reason I don’t think I can do it is because of my lower density and how fine my hair is ☹️
@@amethystglow3527I just want to say that if you decide to do it, your locs will be be-you-to-full! Don't worry about anyone outside of you (IF that's your hesitation), honor Your Self! ❤
@@bananabread2833 thank you, I really appreciate your comment ❤️ one day I think I will try it. In fact I’m positive I will.
@@amethystglow3527 Do it, girl. One great thing about locs is that they accumulate shed hair, so overtime your locs will naturally fill out. Look at Mayowa's earlier videos, she started with quite low density hair. Look at how full and thick her locs are now, I was even under the impression that she always had full hair. No, just the accumulation of hair in her locs.
Another thing. Even if you never get big, full hair, I think locs on thin low density hair, once matured, still look regal and beautiful. The most beautiful loc'd woman I've ever seen has low density hair. Didn't have a crazy amount of locs, but they had matured and grown longer, so she still looked like a goddess. That goes for lots of people who start loc on low density hair.
I have the same hair type, and I'm looking forward to seeing how my locs mature. I prefer the "sleek" look of less voluminous locs. Too much volume can look kind of bulky imo. Plus, when your locs get longer, they won't be as heavy, and you won't have as much strain on your neck, back and hair follicles.
No shade to thick haired folks, but it's not the end of the world if you have thin hair. It's definitely a grass is greener on the other side situation, ive heard thick haired people wish they had less hair for the reasons mentioned above. So please don't let thin, low density hair stop you from rocking locs. I got my locs almost 6 months ago and I'm so grateful I did. Wish I had done it sooner!
I have been growing my locs since I was 21, I'm 58 now. My hair has also been through different stages, and through each one I loved myself. Mayowa you have such beautiful locs! They make me happy! When I started my locs there was no such thing as the laid down look a lot of people favored now. I for one wanted my locs to look more like Bob. Over the years, I have had locticians laid my hair down, but it was always for an external reasons, never reflected how I felt inside. Your locs always remind me how I feel inside. Seeing the beauty of your locs, has ignited in me the freedom I want for my hair again. The laid down look is not for me. Thank you for your inspiration and I pray you stay strong and always chose freedom for yourself! There are people in this world who love your locs and your aesthetics. Love you much!
long hair is also tied into health and youth as well
True!
Yes to all of this. It’s so ableist and harmful to shame bald heads. And it also disproportionately harms women and femmes.
We need more people affirming that locs that are not manicured or retwisted is acceptable and beautiful. Thanks for this message and inspiring others to be accepting of themselves.
The amount of criticism I got when I started growing my type 4 hair was so crazy it's definitely much worse for my fellow type 4 locs i really went through basic texturism
Long hair is not tied into eurocentrism ... long hair was a thing everywhere in the world for women historically
I've had locs for 11 years. For me, it was more about fitting into my professional field and how I'd be received. I'm an educator with 4c hair. I went through the so-called "ugly" phase while teaching middle school and high school students. I didn't see anyone wearing locs in my field. at that time. Now, I see more students getting locs, along with another teacher, an aide, and an assistant principal. The students tend to now ask more questions about my hair because they're embracing their blackness too.
Some school sites had challenges receiving my blackness initially. However, it improved after they got to know me. I tend to get a retwist every 3-6 months, since I'm in a profession that still has challenges with my appearance. When I began my journey, the students would call themselves making fun of me and call me Bob Marley. Now that they're down the middle of my back, I don't have that issue any longer.
Please don’t forget about the phrase “awkward length”. I’ve never heard any other race of women use that term.
WomAn
I remember getting ready to meet my friends and I was so scared that they were going to judge my extra short kinky baby locs that I wore a hat. I was so sad that I couldn’t go out in my raw state to meet people I love. I finally decided to go without a hat. I feel like that was me introducing the new me to them for them to get used to it and they have. 😊
I think that long hair has such a tight link to feminity or the perception and you said it beautifully. I dunno what will challenge this mindset, but I have it as well. I don't care about texture, if it curls, coils, locks or freeze, I love a hairstyle that frames the face. I j
I recently reposted a picture of myself when I was in the starter loc phase with the caption, “Am I the only one that misses their Locs being this short?” I truly enjoyed that stage of my locs! Not once did I feel ugly, in fact I felt more beautiful than I’d ever felt! ❤
I'm Currently Going Through My "Ugly Phase" With My Short Kinky 4C Loose Hair... I'm Not Surprised By The Reactions I Get Within (&& Outside Of) The Black Community But I Am Surprised At How Much It Bothers Me At Times 😕 Being Natural Helped Me To Avoid F*ckboys && Get Intuned With Myself So I Have No Regrets 🤎
If I saw me on the street I’d most definitely give you a compliment it’s nice seeing natural hair and other freeformers out there. To me all stages are beautiful. My hair look crazy in the back cuz of the natural sectioning and I sleep on my back a lot but just learned to embrace it and enjoy all the stages
@@wipedsol8038 That's Dope, Appreciate It ✊🏾🤎
that ugly phase term is corny as fuck... you keep manifesting with those powerful words though.. sad part is you use the word in association with self.. and think the universe is going to ignore that.. smh.. everyone attracts what they speak of.. the word is power.. keep thinking its a game.. black hair has nothing ugly about it... be proud of who you are.. not just when its convenient
@@mentalprograming5365 Number One I Definitely Didn't Read That Long-Azz Declaration Paragraph 😭 It's Never That Deep But I'll Say This Though, I Put It In Quotation Marks For A Reason - So Be Careful With Your Projections && Assumptions. 👁️⚛️🙃
I have locs but I like to dye it crazy colors and I hate the color police who always have something negative to say. One time I went for a retwist and she said my hair looked wild and crazy when I thought it looked beautiful and full
Well, I believe you on the matter.✨
If you say they were beautiful & full, then, gotdamn it! They are beautiful & full. Who is she to say otherwise?😒
If it’s beautiful to you then it’s beautiful . It’s your hair do what you want that’s the fun part lol everybody is different
Someone told me that black people's hair is the only hair that grows towards the sun. I adored that! So reach for the sky and smile about your unique beauty 💖
Dudes I had an Afro in high school and they forced me to cut my hair because it was starting to look “wild”😂 I’m sorry I just had to put my pain out there . I laugh now but it really did hurt my feelings but it’s cool because I have dreadlocs now and I think they look good and I can do whatever I want with my hair. Although going through my dreadloc journey, I’ve been told many times to retwist and I have to keep explaining why I don’t want to and what free form locs are and it’s like chill bro. The weird thing is that the people who tell me to retwist don’t even have locs to begin with
"Take that hat off your hair" I'm literally wearing a hat rn LOL thank you I really needed to hear this message!
I always deeply appreciate what you bring to the conversation
Thanks for making this. We really need to call more attention to internalized anti-blackness.
Growing up, I always had long hair, didn't get my 1st relaxer until I was 18, and had my first job to pay for it myself. I was addicted to the creamy crack for years. It was in 1994, when I would see beautiful, black women with teeny, weeney afros, and I did the big chop, wearing my hair in a really, really short natural, growing it out to a textured fro, and finally growing locs. When I started growing my locs, I loved the baby stage, with my babies sticking straight up and every which way ❤. I miss that stage. I've always did my own thing when it comes to my hair and my fashion. I love embracing everything about us that makes us unique ❤
I recently decided on sister locs. I've always wanted locs but somethings about sister locs attracted me. (I'm sure it is the neatness and the style)
Well half of my head is loced the back is and the front isn't. I have eczema on my scalp and didn't know until I went to the dermatologist. The inflammation that caused my itchy scalp was making the sides and front of my head bald for years. I had already had my appointment for locs set but had another bout of severe hair loss in the front a week before my appointment I was devastated because I again I thought I wasn't going to be able to get my locs.
I told the loctician that I still wanted the back loced we cut off the damaged pieces in the front. I've essentially have had a loc mullet for the past 4 months and the back locs are starting to bud they look so cute
I am beyooooond happy I started my loc journey imperfectly because I've been enjoying every single moment of the journey watching trouble parts get a little length, watching my locs stick up on top of my head. All of it. It's been truly freeing. The lack of perfection has allowed me to feel closer to my hair
Damn, I'm guilty of having this destructive thought pattern! 😬 I don't always like how beginner locs or locs immediately after a retwist (the retwist has to settle a bit and then it's gorgeous) look. I do think, in addition to texturism, a part of the beginning stages not being seen as beautiful is that some people don't like it themselves and are uncomfortable (which makes sense if people are constantly making fun of them💔). The times that I've liked this phase, the person smelled amazing and would add accessories like sprinkles, or beads or color, or style their locs. And they were much more confident and their personality could be seen a mile away. Confidence and self-expression are major parts of attraction for me. I pay attention to face shapes and hairstyles too, so some lengths look better on different head sizes and face shapes than others. Also I associate long locs with wisdom and life experience. I'm always enamored with them and will strike up a convo with a stranger to learn more about the person and their journey no matter if the locs are unkempt or not. It's one of my favorite ways to connect with my elders. Nonetheless I need to look inward and understand why I think this way, so I can heal it. I hate when Black women with natural hair are made to feel bad about themselves. And I won't contribute any longer! Thank You for this insightful video Mayowa! 💚💛
I just started another set of locs after chopping them in 2020 due to damage. it's always good to have these conversations 🥰🥰
How soon did you get your new locs after your chop?
@@voice_0f_reason I started them last month. I waited until my hair was in a healthy state and had grown out to a desirable length to start them.
This is Gonna b so Informative MW🔥🔥🔥👍n Happy Tuesday😀….
Oh my gawddddd just the title ! I don’t have locs yet but this phrase is something I always hear 😩😩 makes me wanna scream. There is no ugly stage !
Why is frizz seen as ugly??
Long (looking) hair does not belong to Europeans and that’s a misconception that stands in the way of self love. Silkiness and shine is not inherently European. We’re allowed to prefer our hair in 1 style over another and still love ourselves. Detangling my hair allows me to show off my natural ringlets but I’m still fire in an Afro. Having personal preferences isn’t self-hate
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! my GOD i hate and REJECT that it’s always self hate when we do what we like. jesus christ??
my “ugly stage” was my most favorite, the texture and everything, thinking about it makes me want to cry because i’ve came a longggg way accepting my natural state, from wearing my fro freshman year of high school after transitioning from perms and heat damage to twisting my hair and letting it just be, i love when my edges aren’t laid because i feel the most myself, locs 100% gave me full confidence
i hate the being told that i “need to do my har” (im a loose kinky natural) when i think it looks perfect and cute already. also i random but i looove my round flat nose i really don’t understand why people just dislike black features like round noses and small eyes 🫠. ❤️
This past year as a teacher I had a coworker and two students start their loc journey. My coworker always hid it under scarves out of fear of getting made fun of by the middle schoolers (thank goodness I did elementary) but she would always take it off to show me in the break room. Omg I absolutely love this stage and I always hyped her up and I thought she looked so beautiful with her sprouts. I relate hair to gardening so the early stage of locs reminds me of the early stage of my plants when they break through the surface and it’s such a precious period cuz it makes you appreciate every little bit of growth visually and most importantly internally. My one student would hide her hair under her hoodie and literally cut off communication with her friend out of fear, she sadly eventually took them out. My other student, a boy was so excited to show me his hair cuz I hyped him up and for the boys they seemed proud to start their loc journey and felt pride in the early stage.
I think it’s interesting how the early stage is impacted by gender and how the women feel more “ugly” in this stage AND get made fun of more while the boys get to have pride in this stage. It’s sad and it’s why I always uplift and genuinely compliment every person I see in all the stages of their loc journey ❤️
Also the more that I see women who free form or semi free form the more I’m like wow this is so beautiful and it reminds me that just being me is…. Ok lol
We must have these conversations, you are courageous. I wish mainstream will listen and realize this is truth.
God u be preaching. That intro speaks volumes
Growing up my mom had locs but when she started they were veeery small. I remember my middle school bully used to say my mom had worm hair. Now as an adult I decided to get sisterlocs (which is more socially acceptable) and when I started I would get flashbacks to when bully used to make fun of my mom to me. I didn’t understand that there is no “ugly” stage. It’s just me. Now I’m about 2.5 years loc’d and I wish I had appreciate the beginning of this journey. I wonder how many people I deterred with that negative language :(
It's terrible when people go all YO MAMA on people!
I love the pictures you shared of yourself. 🧡 the last one without locks, your hair looks like the sun or a crown ☀💯
I definitely love getting my locs retightened because my loctitician is a childhood friend and that love and support that is formed when we come together is so refreshing. However, I’m not one who really is pressed about my sisterlocs being manicured. I went on this journey to learn to love me and it’s been something powerful to focus less on how I look because my hair is guna do whatever it does and to focus more on developing myself as a whole. I wish everyone a wonderful journey full of highs and lows because that’s really how you grow!
I don’t appreciate the judgement I receive when my hair is not done, laid, retwisted, braided, or pressed etc, but i don’t think having a preference for styled hair is problematic. I do relate to feeling “ugly” when my hair is not “done”, but who doesn’t want to keep their look fresh and feel good? It’s the same reason we wear make up and get our brows shaped.
Man to me the ugly stage is the best stage! Lol it teaches you so much and how to adapt with it. It so cool man. Locs are amazing at every length and stage 💯
Baby Mayowa for real! Omg you were so adorable when your locs were short 🥹🥹🥹
I am relaxed and have been for over 20 years however I do believe every one should be able to do what they want with what they have on their bodies. I did not have a great self image for a long time which was a colorist thing not a hair thing, even in a country of 99% black people that is a thing. Ironically it took people that look nothing like me to show me that I was perfectly fine just as I was. Hopefully we can all get there.
I too, experience being very uncomfortable with new growth when I straightened my hair. This was in fact the reason I cut it all off during COVID when I was unable to go to a salon to have it straightened. It is so freeing to no longer have to deal with new growth. Now all of my hair is the same and I love it so much! Really love your vlogs!
Without a doubt I always learn many things from you, I just love everything u do. ❤❤
I love your content soooo much! You have helped me unpack alot of things when it comes to colorism, acceptability politics, texturism, and much more. This video came right on time as I am thinking about starting my loc journey next year. I have so much to still work through before I start them but my soul is ready.
i've seen many comparing hair that stands up to the rugrats cynthia doll... and what baffles me is that this doll is WHITE, it feels like an awful joke yt people played on us.
I get so happy when you upload!❤
Hey Queen..Great vid..,I love semi free form for the reason your locs are not manicured or free-form which allows you to have the best of both worlds😊..thanks☮️
1:13 Da fuq???? Jamaica?!!! They goin insane over there????
The colorism, bleaching and texturism are strong in certain parts of the Caribbean
@@LoXena But seriously, Jamaica was the last place I'd expect.
I’m 8 years into my loc journey as a queer dark skin negris - I genuinely did enjoy and radically accept each phase of my loc journey and wore it proudly in all its stages (for context I started my loc journey with two strand twist from a very low afro). But I will admit to experiencing challenges spiritually in wearing my locs not uniformed and “messy”. I would go three months to four not doing retwist in my shorter length years, but now being at tailbone length I like a beater look for working in corporate spaces. I wear braided loc petals and creative black styles - however they are still done uniformed and neat but still loudly Black, because the concept of braiding is so engrained in our identity although it tightens our hair to be “neat”. Ive never “laid” my edges and never will, however, I mostly always wear a headscarf at night. God speed to my sisters.
You have the most beautiful hair I've seen. I'm still deciding to commit to freeform at the moment but you are really inspiring me. Thank you for sharing the truths of your journey.
I am half Nigerian and half Spanish with type 4 hair. People always used to ridicule me because I wasn't the the beauty standard of bi racial. Yes, I am light skin but I have African features and very kinky hair that I never grew long. Freeform locks might be a step for me to relinquish the obsession of the "perfection" mindset. True beauty is in the imperfections.
Seems like the free form journey is calling you.
Do it.
I love your hair and u look like a goddess❤
No such thing as the “ugly phase”…..✊🏿
It’s funny you mention the hierarchy, because for me Freeform is at the top. Everything else is a watered down version of them.
Locs are now a trend. I'm in a Sister & Microloc group on Facebook and this young woman is represented in many of the comments. I've never worn wigs or weaves or had especially long hair, but my guess is that when you do wear those things most of the time, you are accustomed to seeing yourself in a certain way and if you are willing to go through all it takes to wear them, you must feel that signifies beauty. After years of natural hair, I was just glad to have a hairstyle that required no work and locks of all sorts are pretty common here in Texas. Some individuals in the group who paid quite a bit for Sister or Microlocks still wear wigs or even will wear a sew in over their locks because they don't like the "plucked chicken" look in the early stages or they "want to change up." Others want extensions (even though those who've gotten them advise against it), because they want the length. And, others want curly ends so they are trying to keep them by not allowing their hair to lock even though that's the purpose of the process. Another issue is frizz for some. If your hair was frizzy or cottony like mine before locks, it will be frizzy with them, especially if the weather is humid. Others want to use conditioner, oil or water daily even though they're advised not to do, because I guess "we" just feel we should be manipulating or "grooming" our hair in some way. And, of course there are those who feel that one group feels superior to the other or that the number of locks you have might make you the superior one. So much internalized racism. I pretty much like all locks or prefer ANY hairdo as long as it's natural. This girl's tears were over-the-top for me, because even with all that "we" and society can attach to our strands, it really is only hair.
As a fully relaxed mature woman I like that you challenge my ways of thinking. I'm learning a lot and it's all very thought-provoking.
Omg you are preaching. I can identify with so much of what your saying.❤
I’m currently in the “ugly phase” of my loc journey. I actually really like my hair, and I don’t consider it ugly at all.
When I big chopped about 10 years ago, people said mean stuff like “you look like a boy,” and they “joked” about how my hair looked. So, I have confronted my natural hair without it being “laid.”
So, you might be correct when you say if you’ve never really confronted it, you may think it’s an “ugly phase.”
I agree. I started my loc journey 5 months ago. And i had to go through some adjustments. I started with long hair already(long for black people) and so my hair is dropping more quickly. However, i had to confront my new look and some days duirng the 2-3 month mark i was starting to doubt if i looked pretty. My mother is a braider/hairstylist but she doesnt do locs and has negative opinions of them. But since i started my journey, i brought her along with me and she is growing as well. At the 2-3 month mark i bought all these scarfs to cover up. Just wasnt feeling it. I think what helped me the most was i did research on how to take care of my hair better. Its 4c, often dry. So i focused on a better routine that helped my hair and fell in love again with it. I wash every week, moisturize, do a little dialy spritz. Its fun. My hair has never been more loved in my life. And i got more cofident wearing it out. I think i may have got a little too confident cause i went over the retwist time, my hair was splitting a little too much and i want it to loc in the sections i defined(free form is great too, tis was not in the plan from day 1 however, baby loc gotta shape up). Whoops. Anyways i do think it looks fresh with a retwist but i love it in its frizzy big stage as well. There is true internal unpacking in this stage but it forces u to face your self, and misconceptions u have about dreads, and being black in an American society much quicker. So excited to still be on this journey.
haven’t even pressed play yet but I know this is going to slap me in the face. Started my locs in April 2022 and I say this all the time
The way people only care about the growth and length associated with locs is weird. I have wanted locs since I was like 12 I got them in 2018 at age 22 and I knew that my hair wanted to be loc’d. I started in long natural hair with two strand twist and I never minded the shrinkage and all o felt was relief and liberation that I know longer had to force my hair to be a way it didn’t want to be. When my mom started her locs in like 2009 on short hair ( she cut all her hair off) we called it the awkward stage never the ugly stage because it can be hard to know the best ways to keep the locs out the way. I have manicured locs and I don’t particularly like the retwist process but my stylist has known me since I was 11 so I like seeing her and I trust her and I like having someone else wash my hair but I only get retwist maybe about every 2 months. I love all kinds of locs and I am happy that by people seeing my hair they also get encouraged to try locs as well.
I've been at the "ugly stage" with my natural hair my whole life. It's always been short and thin. I also don't wear makeup so the amount of crap I've got from strangers and my family has been immense.
They called her bald three times in Black Panther . Hated that. It felt just really anti black
Thank you this is beautiful. Moved to tears❤
This is such an important discussion. Idk how ppl dont realize how antiblack it is that ppl demand someone get a retwist before daring to show their hair to the world. Im starting my loc journey soon and so excited :)
@@princessprincess7708 friend wtf are you talking about
Oh get over yourself. Simply people prefer neat and kept hair. If that is “trying to appease Eurocentric standards” then we need a deep rooted discussion on why yall are trying so hard to associate African Culture with uncleanliness
@@corpedatlantanot having a retwist has nothing to do with cleanliness tf
@@jamijam18 freeforms look sloppy and that's whether you want to admit or not. the people who get free forms in “defiance of Eurocentric ideals” are more closed minded than they think they are. Very black and white thinking
@corpedatlanta facts
You don’t know how much I needed this video at this exact moment
I fut my locs off when they got too long because I hated washing them lol but I miss them so much! They were great and I loved them fuzzy! I would “retwist” by doing Bantu knots and just let them be. They were fun!
That “I expressed myself well! Okay goodbyeee” at the end just stole my heart lmaoo
Always coming with good knowledge ❤️
Why are you always on point gurl, just full of wisdom . I wish I could like this video a million times
Thank you so much for this 💜 I really needed to hear this ~ I hope you know that your content is really needed and valued 💚
U hit the nail on the head everytime 👏🏿
Love it! Thank you for sharing! This was healing to hear!💜♥️
I have been loose natural for 4 years and in the beginning I felt naked when I left the house. I am now use to my hair and I live my hair. I have never felt more beautiful. I am thinking about locking my hair and I wonder why I never thought to lock earlier in life. I guess it is because I had not unpacked how I felt about my hair. I feel so blessed to be able to embrace my hair and continue my journey of self love. You look beautiful as usual. You have inspired me to start adorning myself with make up and jewelry again ✨️ ❤ much love to you
I like to change my hair up a lot so for now I go monthly between different styles: braids, locs, twists, weaves, wigs, etc. But know when the day comes it'll be locs for me permanently. This was good info to unpack.
Typically I have some part of my head shaved, up to half at any point. In part it helps me feel less feminine in some ways as a femme queer woman. In others it's a way of appreciating and exploring my natural hair outside of its styling. Seeing how it grows. Seeing its healthy. Seeing those coils and its texture.
Expressed very well I love this! ❤
Even though I dont have 4c texture, your videos helped me to love my hair in so many ways and to also find beauty in black people hair... Once again, thank you for all the effort you have been putting online
Yes to all of it. So well said. Thank you for this. ❤️
I love when my locs are manicured and freshly retwist-ed it makes me feel like when I was little and my mom did my hair and I went to school on Monday feeling like the FRESHEST kid in my entire third grade 😊
Thank you for this. Really needed to hear this
Love you, Mayowa. Keep tellin them truths!!!!!!
I feel all this . I literally just locced my hair last week . I needed this ❤
Just remember each month they get longer in 3 years loc’d
Excited for this just from the title
Hi! It is not ugly, it is the “DREADED” stage you must go through before they become” LOCKS”🥰