I would never date someone who treated my animals poorly. Imagine what that guy would teach your future children to do with the dog. If the kids treat the dog the same they are at a bite risk too. Very dangerous all around. He’s got to go.
How could animal abuse NOT be a deal breaker???? Stories like that make me so heated. I really hope OP takes what you both had to say to heart. OP is complicit in the abuse of her own dog 💔
Dogs can be so sensitive to people, and if my dog didn't like my partner, I would say goodbye FAST. Plus, you're right - that is animal abuse! How could you treat an animal that way??? :(
Dear Third story OP: There's two things I absolutely stand by. First, if he wanted to cheat, he would. It doesn't matter how many boundaries you make, how many ties you put, it doesn't even matter if you have him locked down 24/7 beside you. Believe me, if he wanted to cheat, he would find a way. So you shouldn't be waisting your energy on those kind of thoughts. And that leads to my second point of, why would you want to be with someone who can't even have a classmate they find attractive without cheating? It's not worth it. As in how to build your selfsteam. I don´t believe there really is a key to that, unfortunately it really all is within yourself. However, one thing that helped me a lot is affirmations. This is going to sound extremely silly but I promise it works. Look at youself in the mirror and tell yourself how pretty you are, what an increidble human you are, and how your boyfriend is so lucky to be with you. I know how that sounds, believe me. But just how you were conditioned by all the people to who hurt you that you arent worth it, you have to condition yourself that you are. You will feel silly and pathetic at first and it might take months, even a year before you star believing it or even stop feeling dumb. But you will get there. Because, between youself and the mirror, who's going to tell you that you're wrong when you say the affirmations? So do it and I hope it helps c:
I always thought affirmations might be silly, until I read the part where you said to condition yourself just like all the people before conditioned you to hurt you. It’s no different. I struggle with low self esteem too but I’m working on it. Thank you for this, honestly. ❤️
None of what you’re saying is silly, it’s incredibly helpful! Affirmations help because they help combat all the negative shit we say to ourselves all the time. I also wanted to add that it’s important I get hobbies. No matter whether it’s sports, crafts, book clubs, thrifting, volunteering, etc, it’s important to build you life around activities. That way you’ll gain confidence in your capabilities as a person and that will help build confidence in yourself.
I’m with Jerry on the last one. As soon as I heard it, all I thought was: he’s trying to get her away from the game for some reason, likely a girl or something like that or even just a crush. And then the reaction is being so mad when she left is a very convenient excuse for their relationship to then breakdown and it gives him an out.
Yes! Came here to say this! His reaction is definitely trying to get out of the relationship (or push her to breakup with him so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy)
Agreed! As someone who has experienced infidelity in relationships before, that was my first thought! And the fact that she confirmed that she wasn’t going to leave at halftime made me think he had someone else he wanted there & likely asked them not to come, and then got upset that she ended up leaving and prevented him from having his other person there. The anger seems so provoked, and a lot of times when people cheat, they intentionally cause arguments and issues in the relationship so that they feel a little more justified in what they are doing.
Regarding story 1, there is a difference between mom yelling and mom yelling at a kiddo. If mom yells, then we all should pay attention to what is going on. If mom yells at their kiddo, instead of communicating their frustration or anger appropriately, that hurts the kiddo.
My stepdad was a dog abuser and it absolutely traumatized me, no dog good or “bad” deserves an impatient short tempered owner. Safe to say me and my doggie left the house earlier this year!!!
Story 3- my friend gave me the best saying that applies to this and any other relationship be it friends family or more. "Give them the rope to hang themselves with". Meaning, people are gonna do what they want no matter how much you try to control them or how tight you hold the leash. All you can do is be a kind supportive person so that your own moral compass hasnt been warped, and give them the space to either be loyal, or to screw you over in which case, at least now you know their true nature and you're not wasting any more of your time getting more emotionally invested. And then aside from that, just focus on your own internal happiness with yourself and the right person will love you for who you are. If they leave, let them. They werent the right person.
Story 3: she needs to see a therapist. Ive struggled too and therapy helped me immensely. She needs to pour into herself and work on her self love. Be mindful of your strengths and what makes you uniquely beautiful. Morgan said it best, Comparison truly can be the thief of joy. You got this! ♥️
For any moms out there who relate to the yelling and how hard it is, this is for you. I had 4 kids under 2 almost ten years ago. I was that mom at some point when they started to act out. I was the one home with them. I was buried in guilt and anger at myself. I made the decision that i would try to do better. And one day at a time i did. I started to embrace them as people who make mistakes. I talked to them about things. I listened to them too. And discipline made a whole difference. When you say something, stick to it. Dont give in. Each child is different and needs a different kind of discipline. Yelling will happen, but make sure its appropriate, like danger stopping yelling. Learn to be patient, and enjoy it while they are young. My youngest will be ten next month and i miss those days so much. Every action you take to improve matters. You got this.
I'VE LIVED THE CAT ALLERGY STORY WITH A POSITIVE OUTCOME, please read OP: My husband was SEVERELY allergic to my cat to the point he couldn't stay the night. I thought we'd NEVER live together bc he didn't want to make me get rid of them. He went to an allergist and was committed to allergy shots for 3 years. It really is a COMMITTMENT. BUT he had horrible allergies to grass, rabbits, mold... so it was worth it and we have now lived together since 2017 and he is doing well! If he's willing to try it, do. It may help him overall too. I've also seen a tiktok recently that said get farm eggs from chickens who free-range with farm cats. The eggs get the antibody to the protein cats produce that cause the allergic reaction and feed them to your cats. Not sure if it's true, but my hubby sent it to me 😅
I came to suggest the eggs from chickens exposed to cats as well!! It’s scientifically fascinating how it works so hopefully something like that would help! OP could add dehydrated egg yolks from those eggs to her existing cat food.
My grandmas greatest words of advice were: "you can judge any person on how they treat animals and babies" reason being these are innocenct lives that cant speak up for themselves; therfore we must protect them and treat them kindly ❤ i hold those words true everyday. I dont have any friends that dont love animals or babies. My bf calls himself dad to our dof 🥺🥰
I went the total opposite when raising my daughter. I was always screamed at, backhanded, etc. It was so bad that if anyone even tried to TOUCH my face, I panic. With my daughter I went with the whisper method. She's 15 now and my height. But when she was younger and little I always made sure to get down to her level face to face. I never wanted her to see me as "looking down on her". Her little thoughts and opinions mattered. Of course there were times I yelled. But I could probably count on one hand how many times I yelled at her vs how many times I've yelled for her to get her attention. Which I have to do when she's standing right in front of me sometimes. Because mom's really do become invisible at times when we're not needed or wanted for something. I taught her things at a much younger age and may have aged her faster than I should have at times. But now, she's a strong, caring, helpful, empathic, loving, happy (mostly), funny, amazing person. I'm blessed beyond belief to have such an amazing soul of a child. I couldn't ask for more. And when it came to parenting advice, I listened...even to people without kids. Might not have taken it....but I listened. And honestly, I think I'd rather raise 20 of my daughter than 2 of my dog. He's driving me crazy right now. I just had heart surgery and he's trying to be very supportive and loving (border collie emotional support/service dog). He knows I'm in pain and where and he just keeps trying to put his head or his paw right on top of the incision. Ok...that's my two cents for the first story. 😊
@FatherKnowsSomething I swear by it. My sister went the other way with my oldest niece, who turned out to be an amazing young woman working as a nurse. But it put a lot of strain on them for a while. They just had a surprise and she's using the whisper method with her and she's raising another amazing little girl but this time she said is way less stressful. My view was that screaming at a kid and scaring the shit out of them just didn't make sense. Because they're scared so they're NOT going to HEAR what you're saying. But if you whisper (and it works with adults too), they have to actually LISTEN and in turn will actually HEAR what you're saying. And it sticks. Kids are just little people. They deserve respect too...unless they're little assholes but even then, it's not usually their fault. Follow the apple tree to the top and that's where the problem started. The apple tree I fell from was over a cliff so I could NOT have fallen further than the tree. Lol I always wanted to be a mom. I love my mom. But I swore I would never raise my kids the way I was raised. And just about every adult who has ever met my daughter no matter how old they are, THEY respect her at 15yrs old. And that's something she's not only learned, but she's earned it too. To this day she's never once interrupted a conversation. From the time she could talk I taught her to put her hand on my wrist if she had something to say or needed something and I would put my hand over hers to acknowledge she needed something and the moment I could pause a conversation with whoever I was talking to, I went straight to her. She still does it and when people ask why, I tell them she's being polite to everyone while still letting me know she needs my attention. It's a great party trick. 😉
Story 3: OP, I have dealt with the exact same insecurities. I know what it’s like to almost be battling with yourself because you KNOW the paranoia is irrational, yet your emotions are so big due to years of conditioning and poor self worth/image. Let me tell you, it gets better. Ironically enough, my boyfriend is a nurse too. ☺️ And I can say with full confidence that neither of our men have given us one iota of reasoning to think they may be cheating. It’s us, you and I, pushing things in that direction as a self-fulfilling prophecy due to insecurity and validating our negative perceptions of self. Story 3 OP, take things day by day. Moment by moment. Notice when you are beginning to spiral into that anxious state, and begin to take deep breaths to bring you back to the very moment that you are in. Let your boyfriend know that the last thing you are trying to do, is set up a controlling environment for your relationship to be in. Release the constraints you are putting on the both of you and realize that having friends of the opposite sex is something natural, normal, and healthy. Deep breaths. Start by changing your self talk. Compliment yourself a bit more. I once stared at myself in the mirror, on a REALLY bad self-image day, and told myself how truly beautiful I was. All the good qualities I had, and how my character affects the people around me in a positive way. It made me cry and I gave myself a hug. Our own brains are the absolute meanest to ourselves sometimes. But don’t let it dictate or control you or the lives around you. OP, this man loves you. YOU. Not anyone else. Have the goal of loving yourself more than anyone else possibly could, because then you are unstoppable. Eventually, the actions of others won’t dictate your self worth, because you truly know how great you are. Pick your head up sweet girl, and stand taller. You are beautiful, and truly will radiate from the inside out, soon. I am so proud of you.
For story 3 I really empathize with her on the low self-esteem, I used to be like that and it would affect my relationships. Something OP could do is do some affirmations/check list every morning, I ask my self things like.. -what am I grateful for? -what am I looking forward to? -what is one physical thing I like about myself? -what is one non-physical thing I like about myself? It feels cheesy in the beginning but when you start to notice those things about yourself it honestly makes you feel a little bit better. It puts you in a good headspace even if it's just for a little while.
Regardless of his “past” of not liking small dogs which probably is no factor in why he’s abusing her dog, the way he’s treating that dog is very reflective of how he feels about her and its very scary. She’s semi allowing him too also. That poor dog
He shouldn’t abuse the dog, but she even said that her dog has bitten him many times. She also said her dog is attached to her and they were by themselves for many years. The dog obviously hadn’t been socialized with other people, and she must not have been properly correcting her dog when there were issues with behavior.
The last story- Jerry is right!! There are very few reasons why you would continue to bring up "it's ok if you don't want to come"... "If you DO come, leave at half time" unless you were trying to have your partner avoid someone. Then picking the fight, blaming her is yet another attempt at an excuse for him pulling away in my opinion. Sadly, I was once immature and this is something I would have pulled.
my worst fear is someone treating my cats poorly!! i mostly worry about it happening behind my back and not knowing it’s happening until something terrible happens, so if i saw someone treat my animals poorly in front of my face??? ABSOLUTE dealbreaker. no questions asked, get out immediately, we’re done. my cats are truly everything to me, so i can’t imagine watching someone hurt them and doing nothing about it
Regarding the first story there are many cultures around the world that incorporate parenting with no yelling at all. And the result is calmer, more cooperative kids. The book hunter gather parent is great book on that, that I would recommend every parent to read.
Story 5: He didn’t want the wife to go because he was going to meet someone else. Wife decided to go so he canceled plans and then she left so his night was ruined. 🤦🏻♀️
The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. Honestly I think you might also be right on the nice with this one
To the person with a boyfriend who treats their dog differently please please RUN. This is a red flag even without the physical ABUSE, it’s a red flag. End this relationship. Him treating the dog this way should be enough, but next it will be you, run. Edit- his kitchens getting renovated.. is he living with you while that is happening? I really hope not. Maybe I’m reaching but I’ve heard this story before. If something happens with the renovations and suddenly he wants to move in with you, DO NOT let him. He’s abusing your dog, again treating your dog that differently should be enough, but he’s going to abuse you. Do not move in with him and do not let him move in with you.
If my bf treated my cat badly or even disliked her he would have been OUT! My cat is my baby and she behaved so freaking well that any dislike would have been a MASSIVE red flag! Unacceptable as well that when she told him about the behaviour before that he still thinks it is appropriate to punish her animal, he is not an owner of the dog.
Tips from someone with a boy friend and a mother with cat allergies - wash bedding, extra blankets, and curtains on a cycle to avoid dander buildup - air purifiers in multiple part of the house (good for you regardless of pets) - have cat free spaces (eg. bedroom where you can shut door and hella run the air purifier this has been a game changer) -give bath with CAT SPECIFIC shampoo (cats need special ingredient to make sure their skin is protected) and put allerpet dander treatment about once a month -allergy medicine for hard days -slow exposure therapy Hope this helps anyone struggling with this problem!
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
The last story had me feeling that he had planned on having someone “Another Woman” come to the game. When OP decided to go he had to change those plans. So when OP left he was angry because in his head he had to canceled his plans with the other person for no reason.
As someone that has had a male Shih Tzu, named Loki, since he was tiny, I can tell you they are some of the smartest and most STUBBORN dogs I've had and trained. I've worked with, owned, and trained dogs of all breeds, sizes, genders my whole life, but he has also been one of my favorites as well. Shih Tzus are definitely a breed you can't really EFFECTIVELY use any kind of negative punishment with...ya it may work EVENTUALLY, but it also changes the entire relationship between that person and that dog. I am also the person that does not care when I've "hurt feelings" or even lost a few friendships any time I have..."corrected" how people treat any animals, whether mine or theirs. Hopefully that lady decides to defend her sweet pup, cuz I can tell from experience he will be more loyal than any man 😂😂❤ Love yall!!!
Story 5: definitely cheating or hiding something fishy. He probably is trying to turn it around to her OR mad that he had to move things around when she decided to go to the game only for her to cancel so he didn’t get to have his cake or eat it.
Exactly 💯! For once, I got the same immediate reaction as Jerry for this story: the guy is pissed because he had to cancel the plans with the other woman for nothing.
Story #1 - as someone with a degree in child development, I am heavily with Jerry on this one. Common does not equal "right". Yes, mom is struggling. But there is a time that one needs to step back and evaluate the type of parent you want to be and the impact you want to have on your children. It sounds like mom needs some healing, help, and therapy. It is never too late and being able to acknowledge where you went wrong and move forward is crucial.
I have a story for the allergy shots! Not cats (we love them and have three). My husband is nearly anaphylactically allergic to plant pollen, especially grass. We moved to another state/ecosystem with more grass (Wisconsin) and he couldn't sleep through May-July, despite all other efforts to reduce his reactions. The only thing that worked for him was the allergy shot. For him, it is a life-long commitment because once you stop taking the shots, the allergic reaction returns. It took six months for him to get to a monthly maintenance dose. During the worst months, he needs to take an additional Zyrtec, but his allergies are otherwise manageable when the grass is alive.
Story 4- My daughter had a reaction to spores that cats leave in the air. It comes from their saliva and can hang around in the air for up to 6 months. My daughter almost died from this as it attacks the lungs, it isn’t just the average allergy attack. What we needed to do was have the house fumigated every 3 months and we exposed her gradually, to build an immunity. However this took years.
To the listener that struggled with self-esteem, I completely understand this. I truly have gone and still go through this same thought process about myself often. My biggest enemy was comparison, I would compare myself to everyone. It got to a point where I legitimately had to make stop my thoughts. If I started stalking someone on Instagram I would stop. If I started to think about if my boyfriend at the time at met her instead of me, I would stop. The biggest thing that helped me was taking control of my own thoughts and not allowing myself to dig into these dark holes. I still struggle with this all the time, but you have to find the things about yourself that do you like, and focus on those❤️
Story 5 - just tell people you want them there, these mind games of saying “you don’t need to stay” but you secretly want them to stay is so mentally exhausting. Like damn ppl don’t get angry at people when they literally do what they ask you to do 😅
Story 4: Consider if you can build an attached or separate catio to give the cat a safe outside space and reduce the allergens shed inside. Cats will spend an insane amount of time in catios voluntarily. Could even give the cat it's own Indoor room attached to catio. Giving the cat it's own cat only room and keeping the rest of the house cat free is also an option (but I understand it's not preferable since cats like to be involved in their humans day to day). Another insane idea is building a separate structure or getting an RV as a clean bedroom space where they can sleep together, allergen free. Maybe swap clothes or shoes between the main house and makeshift inlaw suite/RV/ unattached bedroom. For the future, are there actually hypoallergenic cats? If so, consider them as future pets that are baby and partner safe.
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
I really try not to raise my voice at my kids, but the few times it has happened, I apologized and specifically say “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” both because I genuinely feel bad and to model apologizing when you do something wrong. And after a couple times of this, I started getting unprompted apologies back from him for whatever he was doing, whether I yelled or not. Adults lose their temper sometimes too, and we don’t tell them to go sit in a corner or stop feeling their big feelings. How can we expect the same from kids, who are still learning how to emotionally regulate?
I didn't grow up with my dad in my life consistently so these conversations are so refreshing. This is my new favorite podcast. Keep up the great work you guys 😊✨
I want to touch on the topic of y’all talking about yelling. Like I’ve said and previous videos, I am the middle child, I will say I haven’t added this, but the middle child of seven kids. Growing up with that many siblings. It was very hard and having to deal with the emotions that I had and the feelings that I had, and not being able to fully understand them and having my parents understand them was tremendously difficult. Now that I am 24 years old, knowing all the trauma that I have been through and the distinct that I have for my mother, which I won’t mention right now, but she is absent. Has made a significant impact on my life. Just looking at the development impacted my life that the emotional impact my parents had during that time is impeccable. The lack of responsibilities they have, and the lack of empathy that they have shown towards my childhood. It makes me enraged. I have gone through so much and so much therapy. I still miss my mother and my child self in me waits for her return. Which I never know what’s going to happen. My mother was a very impactful woman. She knew how to manipulate people think it was she wants. She didn’t seem with her children. I figured that out by the time I was 12. I am 24 now and my father has been divorced for 4 years and just got married. My mother want nothing to do with me. I guess I should I add she’s a sociopath, and I look exactly like her. Explains why she hates me, and sees me as competition.
My OH used to jump out from behind doors and stuff to "jump scare" my dogs when they were puppies. I never really considered it abusive but then I noticed my dogs acting nervous around him. So even that I put a stop to. Throwing them off the bed and tripping them on the stairs.. absolute red flag! He's trying to hurt that poor dog 😢
Biggest deal breaker ever if my partner or anyone were to mistreat any animals, let alone ones I take care of. I’d be catching multiple charges SO FAST
Story number 5 ..what if someone else was going to be there at the game but since OP insisted on being there for her man he told the other girl not to come. Then he was pissed because he had to cancel on the other girl ,so he's throwing a fit .
Exactly my thoughts! Especially because he tried to get her to leave again at halftime, but she said she was planning to stay, so he planned accordingly.
To the girl with the boyfriend becoming a nurse and dealing with self esteem and jealousy issues- I have lived my worst nightmare, my ex fell in love with my best friend and left me for her, so I’ll give you a few pieces of advice from my experience. 1. play out your worst case scenario in your head. Follow it all the way through to the conclusion, he falls in love with her, he leaves you for her, you’re left alone. Play it out and just feel your emotions through it, breathe through it. You know what happens at the end? You’d use it to make yourself better. That’s what I did. I was alone and that’s when I learned I can take care of myself and my body. I learned I didn’t need anyone to complete me. I learned to put my trust into myself because no. Matter. What. I’m always going to be here for myself even when no one else is. Now I’m happier than I have ever been in my life. So even if the worst case scenario did happen, you would be okay in the end. (Maybe that’s not your worst case but the exercise still applies, follow it through in your head and see where you end up) 2. Jealousy is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, anger. They all have triggering thoughts and they all have the ability to pass. They all end. The only thing that keeps them hanging around is your thoughts, so if you’re not sure how to feel through an emotion without labeling it good or bad and letting it pass out of your body, get a workbook to help you manage codependent thoughts. I bought one on Amazon and it helped me learn to manage my thoughts which then allows you to better manage your emotions. Meditation is also helpful for this, I really like Sam Harris’s meditation app but there are a ton of them out there. 3. Take a solo vacation. Go somewhere alone, try things outside of your comfort zone. This is one of the best ways to build self confidence, like Morgan was saying. You will learn to rely on yourself. Let me know if I missed anything or if you have any other questions I might be able to answer on this
Me and my ex got a dog together and once my dog started getting older he started treating him bad. My dog is the most loving dog and such a cuddle bug and I was so angry and called him out on it all the time. That was one of the deal breakers, my dog would hate for me to leave him at home with him if I had to run errands and once I got back my dog was glued to me. Once our lease was up I RAN. Never will I have my dog go through that again.
The last one with the football dude… I used to date someone through high school and college that was extremely emotionally abusive. He would start a fight just to break up with me for a day, usually on my birthday or holidays, just so he wouldn’t have to get me a present or make a trip to my college to see me. Obviously, he would also take advantage of our one-day breakups to hookup with other people. This story is setting off alarms for me. He didn’t want her at the game because someone else was there to see him. Now, he’s using the fact that she left against her so they can be “in a fight,” so that when/if he gets caught cheating, he can say they weren’t together in his mind. Narcissistic behavior!! That’s my hot take, anyway.
story #3- girl i get where youre coming from but i am a nurse and youre gonna have to get used to your man around a lot of women. Like constantly. There was only 2 men out of 16 ppl in my classes. And 1 male instructor out like 6 instructors. Some women are definitely shady but that could be said for any profession. Like you said you have to find self love and trust your boyfriend. Currently working on that myself but i wish you luck❤️ If it makes you feel better nobody looks sexy with shit on your scrubs and not having ate/peed in 12 hrs. And he respected your boundaries when he asked you too, which is a green flag!!
Story 4: my bf and I have had this conversation sooo many times as I'm the one allergic to cats and have taken all of the meds mentioned (including shots). If I was op I would have a conversation with bf about where they see themselves in 5 years and that should answer her question. For my partner and I we agreed if we did have kid and they were allergic that baby is getting a clean room. We love our cats too much to give them up as many animals in shelters are put down simply cuz no one wants them.
My family does the same thing as the s/o does to Boston. There are days it is literally impossible for him to have done certain things and they still blame him over my mom’s dog who does it all! It’s so frustrating!
Story 5, I honestly side with Jerry on this one. In my opinion he tried to convince her not to be there cause he wanted someone else there, and when she did indeed leave he was upset cause he probably couldn't make the arrangements last minute with the person he wanted there. The reason I think so is I dated a guy that was super close with his parents. One day while visiting his mom, she invited us to have dinner there, and me to stay the night, since she needed my help the following day. I say yes without hesitation, without discussing it with him as I assumed that he wouldn't have a problem since he never has. That day he did, cause, turned out he had plans with someone he cheated on me with and I messed up his plans that evening.
For the cat allergy story: I have allergies to pets as well but have two doggos with my husband! The way I’ve dealt with it is that we have very strict pet zones and non pet zones. So my dogs are not allowed upstairs at all, this keeps the second floor of the house a lot safer for my allergies especially your bedroom!!! Even though it sucks not being able to sleep with them, I’m able to sleep so much better this way. I know this might be more difficult with a cat but it’s worth a try. Even keeping close that were worn in the pet areas outside of the bedroom.
My boyfriend is a nurse, nursing school is hard. He needed his school friends to get through. He graduated a few years ago and doesn't really talk to any of his school friends anymore. He now is a nurse and is surrounded by women at work. Our rule is open phone policy, he can look at mine I can look at his. He tells me he's talking to coworkers, tells me if he is giving someone a ride. It's still hard, I had to do some brain rewiring for myself to recognize that I am beautiful in my way, and he loves me for me. I am enough. It's work everyday, but my boyfriends drive to help others is one of my favorite things about him.
Oh my gosh Morgan, you're so wise! Lol. The way you're giving advise to the girl who's insecure. Love it, beautiful advice. Also, you're absolutely STUNNING!
Story 1: when I lived w my dad during college, I witnessed my stepmother also get excessive w her kids (my half siblings) - I can’t even get into it w/o writing an essay but to keep things short, since they’ve been toddlers, she’d scream at them all the time about anything and some of her tactics of discipline were so extreme and unhinged that I couldn’t believe my eyes sometimes. My mom is the opposite, so it was shocking for me. I would try to talk to my stepmother but she wouldn’t listen since I don’t have kids myself despite telling her things other moms have told me. It’s painful to see but the only thing you can do for those kids is give them as much of your love as possible and hope they’ll go straight to therapy as adults
Howdy! I'm a 21yo female and I adopted my puppy 2 years ago and she is a certified ESA. I'm also a college student who is currently studying to become a vet and work in the pet industry. My dog is a pit-mix VERY energetic but also very well trained (I trained her myself and have done training classes w/ her). She is my light in the darkness of Pre-Vet lol. If my boyfriend had the AUDACITY to treat my dog like the guy in that story, I would not hesitate to tell him to gtfo and remove him from my life. BIG red flag in my eyes. Personally, I think that the guy is jealous of the dog
FOR THE ALLERGY STORY- I suffer from severe cat and dog allergies as well and severe asthma. Whenever I go somewhere I know I’m going to have to deal with animals, I take a 24 hr Zyrtec, and then on top of that, every 6-8 hrs (or whatever the box allows) I take a Benadryl on top of the Zyrtec, which is totally fine as they don’t have the same active ingredient. My biggest recommendation would be to start receiving allergy shots once he gets insurance. They should either be free or only a couple hundred dollars which would be very worth it. There is a great chance of them being successful. I haven’t done them yet as I don’t have the money right now, but I know people who have gotten them and now have virtually no allergies. I know how much allergies SUCK and asthma attacks- so good luck and I hope this helps! (Also, in the mornings, take a morning inhaler if you can get one prescribed to you, it’ll set you up for success with open lungs for the rest of your day, and have a rescue inhaler at all times)
Story 4: I use to be DEATHLY allergic to cats and my boyfriend and mild allergies to them. The cat distribution system had 6 kittens born on my apartment porch and we ended up taking them in and caring for them. We now have two that live with us (two of them my parents kept and the last two went to a really nice home in the neighborhood) and although during their shedding season we still get bad allergies, the “exposure therapy” helped us. I do, however, take daily allergy medicine regardless and during the times I feel more allergic to my kitties I’ll pop a Benadryl or two. A lot of it also has to do with their food- we feed them pouring pro plan complete essential and mix some omega-3 cat fish oil in it. Both of those help their skin and coat (they have sensitive skin) and they’ve been softer, shiner, and don’t have as much dander, if any at all anymore. Depending on how long your boyfriend has lived with you, give it more time and try daily allergy pills that are prescribed, change their diet and don’t forget to clean wash the fabrics your kitty may touch!
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
Yes I think it is Pro Plan live clear or something along those lines. I recommend it to a lot of my clients and the few that I've tried it, swear by it now!
I also saw that if u eat eggs from a farm where the chickens live with cats there is something in the egg that could make the allergies go away :) something to try
I kinda agree with Dad’s take on mom yelling 😂 there’s a difference like you’ve mentioned about POV’s. I understand that, but also another point of view Dad may be referring to is Yelling with a Partner. He may not have agreed with treatment towards him as well as you guys when you were all kids. I listened to my mom screaming and yelling constantly, a lot of it was warranted however there were times my dad would say “ was it necessary to yell this? You’re just upset about something else and taking it out on the kids or me.” I know when I’ve seen my friends parents just yell and raise their voice and say everything sternly to their kids, it was also affecting their relationship with their partners. Idk maybe I just reexplained your point 😂 I’m dumb and new to commenting so everyone please please be nice 😅
Hi I'm responding to the cat allergy! I have pretty bad cat allergies and also own not one but two cats! I will admit mine are not quite as disabling as his are BUT if I do not vacuum daily and keep my air purifiers clean, I find myself in a lot of trouble. Sometimes rushing outside because I am unable to breathe. The cats and I have both had to make compromises. For one, my cats are never allowed in my bedroom. Blankets found with cat hair and clothes are immediately washed. Every room is vacuumed and cleaned multiple times a week. Cat areas are cleaned daily. My cats are only allowed in living spaces, so bedrooms and bathrooms are off limits. I have to have places I can go to escape if I need to. My husband and I have gone to huge strides to ensure that all of us can live happily in the same house. It takes a lot of work and awareness. But I love my cats and we have our times together. I can snuggle them if I use a blanket and am sure to wash my hands afterwards. It is very difficult at times but it can work. I take allergy meds from the doc daily, and have invested in good nasal inhalers as well. If you are willing to put in the work you can find a way.
I watched every single episode, and they kept popping up on my homepage, so I always thought I was subscribed. It wasn't until you guys said to "hit that subscribe button" at the end of this episode that I checked and realized I never subscribed
The dog story pissed me off 😅. That guy would’ve been out the first time he mistreated my animal. I don’t even date people who say they don’t like cats or dogs. If you’ve got a bias like that is weird and concerning enough for me not to trust you near my animals. I don’t even care if that seems extreme either. I would be the same with my children if I had any. I don’t take my job as their caregiver as lightly like that OP seems to. It boggles my mind that she was considering keeping him around.
Very unfair to say just because someone thesnt like cats or dogs thesnt mean they will abuse them i personally dont like animals have never abused them and hate when people mistreat animals it pissed me off i had a friend leave on vacation not tell anyone and leave her dog in the cold no food no water i found this out after one day of the dog suffering i got the dog put it in my house with a heater and blanket offered it food water and shelter until she returned then i confronted her and told her if she would have told me i would have watched the dog while she was out of town at first she lashed out on me for taking her dog without telling her but after a couple hours she knew she was in the wrong moral of the story idont like animals but wouldint mistreat them she loves animals and mistreated the dog 🐶 so not everyone that thesnt like cats or dogs would abuse them thats insane
I trust an animal if it doesn’t like a human, I don’t trust any humans who mistreat animals. Absolutley heartbreaking for poor Boston. I would have left the minute he intentionally hurt my dog.
For the boyfriend allergic to cats, if he is living with the cat he can actually get adjusted to the cats allergens, this rarely does happen with adult cats tho. However, kittens do not have the same protein people are allergic to, so if you have a kitten, you can get immune to that cats allergens. My husband is very allergic to cats and when we got our kitten (who is now 3) my husband has no issues at all! (my husband also has asthma) only time he has a reaction is if Edgar licks him, (which the saliva is what causes the allergy for the most part) and he just gets a couple hives on the area Edgar licked. We did adopt a 6 month old cat 2yrs ago, and at first it was rough. He has bad allergies with poor Bruce. But after about 6months to a year it subsided and he doesn't have an issue anymore. Everyone's allergies are different and every cats allergens are different so it really depends but just here to say it worked out twice for us! And for anyone allergic but wants to foster, if you foster kittens it is extremely rare to be allergic to kittens so go foster those babies!!!!
Story 2- "he treats my dog differently," girl, he abuses your dog. Poor baby (dog). I hope this video and comments have helped you open your eyes and that you leave him. Your dog deserves a co-owner that doesn't abuse them.
Story 5: he's cheating. He didnt want you there because the other person was going to be there. Because you were there he didnt get to hang out with that person. When you said you were leaving he immediately went to hang out with them. If he was upset he would have texted you back immediately, not waited until after the game. He flirted with them the whole game and then he faked mad so he could make an excuse to not come home and spend the night with them instead. You didn't let that happen so then he had to lean into the "I'm mad" act. He probably spent the whole time locked in his room flirting with the other person. Maybe he snuck out but I'm guessing there were signs he was in there . If he was locked in that room truly all night and you never spoke to him and never saw him he might not have been in the room at all
This comment is for the cat allergy story!! My girlfriend is the same way. What I have found that works is a combination of things. I use the allerpet spray for the cat (amazon), live pure furniture/carpet spray (amazon). These both help neutralize the protein that is the most common allergen. I also feed my cat Purina Live Clear which has eggs in it from chickens raised around cats. It helps neutralize the protein at the source in the saliva. Occasional baths with a shampoo for allergies can help too. The biggest thing is making sure bedding is washed every few weeks, keep your bedroom door closed if possible to make it as allergen free and possible and believe it or not WASH YOUR VACUUM FILTER. Every time I vacuumed things seemed to get worse and it was because the vacuum was throwing all the dander into the air because my filter wasn't cleaned regularly
A guest of my roommate said some dumb things about my cats...she left immediately after. You don't disrespect people or animals in their own home. Period. If someone physically touched one of them, I would be getting physical in return.
Story 2: (tw pet loss) . . . . . I just recently lost my 13.5 year old miniature dachshund, Bessie. I'd had her since I was 11 (25 now) and I wouldn't let anyone speak to her in more than a stern tone, let alone put a hand on her. 😭 Poor Boston. I really hope she dumps her crusty, abusive boyfriend.
I am allergic to cats and dogs and currently live with both after years of the allergy shots. I was always sick as a kid even resulting in a hospital visit due to the severity with living with both types animals and just generally being around them. The allergy shots are extremely helpful if done properly and consistently. Besides in the spring when my seasonal allergies come around and the occasional headache I have no issues. Definitely possibly and doable as long as your committed to it.
My husband gets the allergy shots!! We have 4 of our own cats and I foster so at any given time we have up to 16 cats total (I can’t say no when the rescue asks for help 😂) and he would get them weekly then monthly for maintenance and it’s been so much better. He still takes an allergy pill daily and has an inhaler just in case but he says it’s a lot better
suggestions for OP from story 4. my boyfriend is allergic to cats and we live together with kitties. my biggest tip is to have a cat free room. we sleep in that room whenever his allergies act up. it really helps!
“what if they break up and she gave the cat away”. this happened to me with my iguana. he was my baby. i had him for a few years when my ex told me i should rehome him because of “the stress it was causing me”. i broke down (spiraling) and did it. he broke up with me weeks later and my iguana died in his new home 2 years later during a freeze at the age of maybe 5. i’m devastated and will be forever. i raised him from just a little guy and built him 2 cages with my grandpa. his second one was 6 feet tall, 4 wide, 2 deep. LED lighting on top as well as UVB installed. a shelf to hang out on, a giant piece of driftwood going up to it. a hanging 3 tier shelf with some ivy and a humidifier on it. a big corn plant. a giant tub of water at the bottom. it had solid double doors on the bottom half with a heavy duty lock, and transparent double doors on top with 3 locks. the inside was painted green and the outside stained dark brown. it was on wheels. i even had his initial hanging inside his cage painted a similar shade of red to him. he was such a happy lizard. when i rehomed him he was still a bit under half grown. his new enclosure was 10’x10’ and i was happy for him. i just can’t help but wonder if he’d still be alive with me. i feel so horrible knowing he froze to death in a home i was manipulated into sending him to. i don’t believe it’s the new owners fault but it’s tragic.
Not a mom, but an auntie, and somebody who studied psychology/child psychology for a long time. I almost NEVER raise my voice at the kids, so when I do it is SUPER effective. (I save it for emergencies, such as when one of the children could be in danger.)
For the cat/bf problem: how about making the bedroom an off limits zone for the cat? Cat can have the rest of the house but the bedroom is only for you two. His fur won’t be all over the place making his allergies act up at night.
Yeah.... the last story is giving master manipulator - he didn't care if she came to the game, almost trying to convince her not to go, then once she has to leave early, he tries to guilt trip her so it makes it look like he has a "reason" to be upset and maybe not come home and go see this mistress in question...or he's literally crazy. buttttttt we need an update!!!!
I would have left that man so fast if he ever treated my dog like that.. also, sweeping their feet out from under them on the stairs?! For what?? Major red flag 🚩 🚩 🚩
As a vet with my own little shih tzu, absolutely not! If my partner ever so much as laid a hand on my dog, they’re done. We’re done. That is absolutely animal abuse. I’d raise hell on him.
My husband and I both brought a dog into our relationship. My old lady smaller dog, and his 3 year old (now 7) bulky and asshole of a big dog, then we also rescued another female big dog from a family member who was going to put her in the shelter, together. We just sort of subconsciously agreed on how to discipline and deal with the dogs together. They’re like kids. You know those kids that refuse to listen unless you scream at them and or spank them? Like will literally just ignore you and act like a little shit until that point? Yep that’s his dog. Then you have the kids that don’t do anything wrong (she sometimes peed but it’s because she’s old and has medical issues, so it can’t be helped and is not a punishable offense) and just sit around, that’s my dog. And then there’s the kids that do bad stuff but mostly on accident and will cry if you even look at them wrong. That’s OUR dog that we adopted together. So we “punish” and deal with each dog based on their own temperament and what is appropriate for them specifically. But how we handle each dog is pretty consistent between the two of us. My pup (13 years old) is my first baby and I love her SO much. Through ups and downs of our relationship, the way my husband treats and deals with her has been one reason I liked staying with him. Because there are people out there like the guy in this story who would abuse her. And I’m not willing to risk that..
My daughter’s BF (now hubby 16 years) was allergic to her cats. He got allergy shots AND they shaved both cats in lion cut. For them it was a win/win. The cats looked adorable and both cats LoVeD their hair shaved. The cats both passed 2 years ago age 18/19. She had cats since college, first 14 years married life and their kids were able to love the cats 8/10 years. I would try NAET AND shaving cat first , next allergy shots AND shaving cat. Thanks for the fabulous show again. Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🎃
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
treating animals bad is my BIGGEST deal breaker, I could never tolerate anyone being mean to my cat or dog
I had cut familly for being abuse to animals that are not even mine so yeah that is a hard no,
True. If anyone was tripping up my cats like he does with the dog, they'd never be welcome at my home or life again. Bye get lost
Animals and young children are just too innocent and stuff.. if you can abuse them, they will abuse you.
Any cat or dog but especially mine
I dont like animals but i agree anyone who is mean to a animal is a jerk it gets me so angry 😠
I would never date someone who treated my animals poorly. Imagine what that guy would teach your future children to do with the dog. If the kids treat the dog the same they are at a bite risk too. Very dangerous all around. He’s got to go.
How could animal abuse NOT be a deal breaker???? Stories like that make me so heated. I really hope OP takes what you both had to say to heart. OP is complicit in the abuse of her own dog 💔
Dogs can be so sensitive to people, and if my dog didn't like my partner, I would say goodbye FAST. Plus, you're right - that is animal abuse! How could you treat an animal that way??? :(
Dear Third story OP:
There's two things I absolutely stand by. First, if he wanted to cheat, he would. It doesn't matter how many boundaries you make, how many ties you put, it doesn't even matter if you have him locked down 24/7 beside you. Believe me, if he wanted to cheat, he would find a way. So you shouldn't be waisting your energy on those kind of thoughts. And that leads to my second point of, why would you want to be with someone who can't even have a classmate they find attractive without cheating? It's not worth it.
As in how to build your selfsteam. I don´t believe there really is a key to that, unfortunately it really all is within yourself. However, one thing that helped me a lot is affirmations. This is going to sound extremely silly but I promise it works. Look at youself in the mirror and tell yourself how pretty you are, what an increidble human you are, and how your boyfriend is so lucky to be with you. I know how that sounds, believe me. But just how you were conditioned by all the people to who hurt you that you arent worth it, you have to condition yourself that you are. You will feel silly and pathetic at first and it might take months, even a year before you star believing it or even stop feeling dumb. But you will get there. Because, between youself and the mirror, who's going to tell you that you're wrong when you say the affirmations? So do it and I hope it helps c:
I always thought affirmations might be silly, until I read the part where you said to condition yourself just like all the people before conditioned you to hurt you. It’s no different. I struggle with low self esteem too but I’m working on it. Thank you for this, honestly. ❤️
None of what you’re saying is silly, it’s incredibly helpful! Affirmations help because they help combat all the negative shit we say to ourselves all the time.
I also wanted to add that it’s important I get hobbies. No matter whether it’s sports, crafts, book clubs, thrifting, volunteering, etc, it’s important to build you life around activities. That way you’ll gain confidence in your capabilities as a person and that will help build confidence in yourself.
I really hope that OP read this ❤ this is beautiful advice
I can’t believe we live in a world where we have to TELL someone to break up with their bf for abusing their dog. My sisters. WE NEED TO STAND UP!!!
I’m with Jerry on the last one. As soon as I heard it, all I thought was: he’s trying to get her away from the game for some reason, likely a girl or something like that or even just a crush. And then the reaction is being so mad when she left is a very convenient excuse for their relationship to then breakdown and it gives him an out.
Yes! Came here to say this! His reaction is definitely trying to get out of the relationship (or push her to breakup with him so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy)
💯%
Agreed! As someone who has experienced infidelity in relationships before, that was my first thought! And the fact that she confirmed that she wasn’t going to leave at halftime made me think he had someone else he wanted there & likely asked them not to come, and then got upset that she ended up leaving and prevented him from having his other person there. The anger seems so provoked, and a lot of times when people cheat, they intentionally cause arguments and issues in the relationship so that they feel a little more justified in what they are doing.
Regarding story 1, there is a difference between mom yelling and mom yelling at a kiddo. If mom yells, then we all should pay attention to what is going on. If mom yells at their kiddo, instead of communicating their frustration or anger appropriately, that hurts the kiddo.
My stepdad was a dog abuser and it absolutely traumatized me, no dog good or “bad” deserves an impatient short tempered owner. Safe to say me and my doggie left the house earlier this year!!!
Story 3- my friend gave me the best saying that applies to this and any other relationship be it friends family or more. "Give them the rope to hang themselves with". Meaning, people are gonna do what they want no matter how much you try to control them or how tight you hold the leash. All you can do is be a kind supportive person so that your own moral compass hasnt been warped, and give them the space to either be loyal, or to screw you over in which case, at least now you know their true nature and you're not wasting any more of your time getting more emotionally invested. And then aside from that, just focus on your own internal happiness with yourself and the right person will love you for who you are. If they leave, let them. They werent the right person.
Story 3: she needs to see a therapist. Ive struggled too and therapy helped me immensely. She needs to pour into herself and work on her self love. Be mindful of your strengths and what makes you uniquely beautiful.
Morgan said it best, Comparison truly can be the thief of joy. You got this! ♥️
For any moms out there who relate to the yelling and how hard it is, this is for you. I had 4 kids under 2 almost ten years ago. I was that mom at some point when they started to act out. I was the one home with them. I was buried in guilt and anger at myself. I made the decision that i would try to do better. And one day at a time i did. I started to embrace them as people who make mistakes. I talked to them about things. I listened to them too. And discipline made a whole difference. When you say something, stick to it. Dont give in. Each child is different and needs a different kind of discipline. Yelling will happen, but make sure its appropriate, like danger stopping yelling. Learn to be patient, and enjoy it while they are young. My youngest will be ten next month and i miss those days so much. Every action you take to improve matters. You got this.
I'VE LIVED THE CAT ALLERGY STORY WITH A POSITIVE OUTCOME, please read OP:
My husband was SEVERELY allergic to my cat to the point he couldn't stay the night. I thought we'd NEVER live together bc he didn't want to make me get rid of them. He went to an allergist and was committed to allergy shots for 3 years. It really is a COMMITTMENT. BUT he had horrible allergies to grass, rabbits, mold... so it was worth it and we have now lived together since 2017 and he is doing well! If he's willing to try it, do. It may help him overall too.
I've also seen a tiktok recently that said get farm eggs from chickens who free-range with farm cats. The eggs get the antibody to the protein cats produce that cause the allergic reaction and feed them to your cats. Not sure if it's true, but my hubby sent it to me 😅
Purina pro plan came out with a food that decreases allergens, they are made with eggs from free-range chickens that cohabitate with farm cats.
I came to suggest the eggs from chickens exposed to cats as well!! It’s scientifically fascinating how it works so hopefully something like that would help! OP could add dehydrated egg yolks from those eggs to her existing cat food.
There’s a new study coming out about the chicken antibody for cat allergies!! Look into companies selling that type of food
My grandmas greatest words of advice were: "you can judge any person on how they treat animals and babies" reason being these are innocenct lives that cant speak up for themselves; therfore we must protect them and treat them kindly ❤ i hold those words true everyday. I dont have any friends that dont love animals or babies. My bf calls himself dad to our dof 🥺🥰
I think it’s really cute how Morgan’s feet do not touch the ground. As a fellow short (5’2”) I appreciate this lol
"Call the MF'er on it." Yessss, Jerry. That's something I would say. 🙂
I went the total opposite when raising my daughter. I was always screamed at, backhanded, etc. It was so bad that if anyone even tried to TOUCH my face, I panic. With my daughter I went with the whisper method. She's 15 now and my height. But when she was younger and little I always made sure to get down to her level face to face. I never wanted her to see me as "looking down on her". Her little thoughts and opinions mattered. Of course there were times I yelled. But I could probably count on one hand how many times I yelled at her vs how many times I've yelled for her to get her attention. Which I have to do when she's standing right in front of me sometimes. Because mom's really do become invisible at times when we're not needed or wanted for something.
I taught her things at a much younger age and may have aged her faster than I should have at times. But now, she's a strong, caring, helpful, empathic, loving, happy (mostly), funny, amazing person. I'm blessed beyond belief to have such an amazing soul of a child. I couldn't ask for more. And when it came to parenting advice, I listened...even to people without kids. Might not have taken it....but I listened. And honestly, I think I'd rather raise 20 of my daughter than 2 of my dog. He's driving me crazy right now. I just had heart surgery and he's trying to be very supportive and loving (border collie emotional support/service dog). He knows I'm in pain and where and he just keeps trying to put his head or his paw right on top of the incision. Ok...that's my two cents for the first story. 😊
Wow thank you so much for sharing! It sounds like you did it right. Need to look into this whisper method more!
@FatherKnowsSomething I swear by it. My sister went the other way with my oldest niece, who turned out to be an amazing young woman working as a nurse. But it put a lot of strain on them for a while. They just had a surprise and she's using the whisper method with her and she's raising another amazing little girl but this time she said is way less stressful.
My view was that screaming at a kid and scaring the shit out of them just didn't make sense. Because they're scared so they're NOT going to HEAR what you're saying. But if you whisper (and it works with adults too), they have to actually LISTEN and in turn will actually HEAR what you're saying. And it sticks. Kids are just little people. They deserve respect too...unless they're little assholes but even then, it's not usually their fault. Follow the apple tree to the top and that's where the problem started. The apple tree I fell from was over a cliff so I could NOT have fallen further than the tree. Lol
I always wanted to be a mom. I love my mom. But I swore I would never raise my kids the way I was raised. And just about every adult who has ever met my daughter no matter how old they are, THEY respect her at 15yrs old. And that's something she's not only learned, but she's earned it too. To this day she's never once interrupted a conversation. From the time she could talk I taught her to put her hand on my wrist if she had something to say or needed something and I would put my hand over hers to acknowledge she needed something and the moment I could pause a conversation with whoever I was talking to, I went straight to her. She still does it and when people ask why, I tell them she's being polite to everyone while still letting me know she needs my attention. It's a great party trick. 😉
Story 3: OP, I have dealt with the exact same insecurities. I know what it’s like to almost be battling with yourself because you KNOW the paranoia is irrational, yet your emotions are so big due to years of conditioning and poor self worth/image. Let me tell you, it gets better. Ironically enough, my boyfriend is a nurse too. ☺️ And I can say with full confidence that neither of our men have given us one iota of reasoning to think they may be cheating. It’s us, you and I, pushing things in that direction as a self-fulfilling prophecy due to insecurity and validating our negative perceptions of self.
Story 3 OP, take things day by day. Moment by moment. Notice when you are beginning to spiral into that anxious state, and begin to take deep breaths to bring you back to the very moment that you are in. Let your boyfriend know that the last thing you are trying to do, is set up a controlling environment for your relationship to be in. Release the constraints you are putting on the both of you and realize that having friends of the opposite sex is something natural, normal, and healthy. Deep breaths. Start by changing your self talk. Compliment yourself a bit more. I once stared at myself in the mirror, on a REALLY bad self-image day, and told myself how truly beautiful I was. All the good qualities I had, and how my character affects the people around me in a positive way. It made me cry and I gave myself a hug.
Our own brains are the absolute meanest to ourselves sometimes. But don’t let it dictate or control you or the lives around you. OP, this man loves you. YOU. Not anyone else. Have the goal of loving yourself more than anyone else possibly could, because then you are unstoppable. Eventually, the actions of others won’t dictate your self worth, because you truly know how great you are.
Pick your head up sweet girl, and stand taller. You are beautiful, and truly will radiate from the inside out, soon. I am so proud of you.
For story 3 I really empathize with her on the low self-esteem, I used to be like that and it would affect my relationships. Something OP could do is do some affirmations/check list every morning, I ask my self things like..
-what am I grateful for?
-what am I looking forward to?
-what is one physical thing I like about myself?
-what is one non-physical thing I like about myself?
It feels cheesy in the beginning but when you start to notice those things about yourself it honestly makes you feel a little bit better. It puts you in a good headspace even if it's just for a little while.
Regardless of his “past” of not liking small dogs which probably is no factor in why he’s abusing her dog, the way he’s treating that dog is very reflective of how he feels about her and its very scary. She’s semi allowing him too also. That poor dog
He shouldn’t abuse the dog, but she even said that her dog has bitten him many times. She also said her dog is attached to her and they were by themselves for many years. The dog obviously hadn’t been socialized with other people, and she must not have been properly correcting her dog when there were issues with behavior.
The last story- Jerry is right!! There are very few reasons why you would continue to bring up "it's ok if you don't want to come"... "If you DO come, leave at half time" unless you were trying to have your partner avoid someone. Then picking the fight, blaming her is yet another attempt at an excuse for him pulling away in my opinion. Sadly, I was once immature and this is something I would have pulled.
my worst fear is someone treating my cats poorly!! i mostly worry about it happening behind my back and not knowing it’s happening until something terrible happens, so if i saw someone treat my animals poorly in front of my face??? ABSOLUTE dealbreaker. no questions asked, get out immediately, we’re done. my cats are truly everything to me, so i can’t imagine watching someone hurt them and doing nothing about it
Regarding the first story there are many cultures around the world that incorporate parenting with no yelling at all. And the result is calmer, more cooperative kids. The book hunter gather parent is great book on that, that I would recommend every parent to read.
Story 5: He didn’t want the wife to go because he was going to meet someone else. Wife decided to go so he canceled plans and then she left so his night was ruined. 🤦🏻♀️
Absolutely. It’s the only thing that actually makes sense why he got so outraged because she left early.
100% This is what I thought too. He's pouting because his other girl was not able to go!
The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. Honestly I think you might also be right on the nice with this one
To the person with a boyfriend who treats their dog differently please please RUN. This is a red flag even without the physical ABUSE, it’s a red flag. End this relationship. Him treating the dog this way should be enough, but next it will be you, run.
Edit- his kitchens getting renovated.. is he living with you while that is happening? I really hope not. Maybe I’m reaching but I’ve heard this story before. If something happens with the renovations and suddenly he wants to move in with you, DO NOT let him. He’s abusing your dog, again treating your dog that differently should be enough, but he’s going to abuse you. Do not move in with him and do not let him move in with you.
If my bf treated my cat badly or even disliked her he would have been OUT! My cat is my baby and she behaved so freaking well that any dislike would have been a MASSIVE red flag! Unacceptable as well that when she told him about the behaviour before that he still thinks it is appropriate to punish her animal, he is not an owner of the dog.
Tips from someone with a boy friend and a mother with cat allergies
- wash bedding, extra blankets, and curtains on a cycle to avoid dander buildup
- air purifiers in multiple part of the house (good for you regardless of pets)
- have cat free spaces (eg. bedroom where you can shut door and hella run the air purifier this has been a game changer)
-give bath with CAT SPECIFIC shampoo (cats need special ingredient to make sure their skin is protected) and put allerpet dander treatment about once a month
-allergy medicine for hard days
-slow exposure therapy
Hope this helps anyone struggling with this problem!
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
The last story had me feeling that he had planned on having someone “Another Woman” come to the game. When OP decided to go he had to change those plans. So when OP left he was angry because in his head he had to canceled his plans with the other person for no reason.
The 2nd story about the dogs..IMAGINE WHAT HE'S DOING WHEN SHE IS NOT LOOKING!! THAT POOR DOG.
As someone that has had a male Shih Tzu, named Loki, since he was tiny, I can tell you they are some of the smartest and most STUBBORN dogs I've had and trained. I've worked with, owned, and trained dogs of all breeds, sizes, genders my whole life, but he has also been one of my favorites as well. Shih Tzus are definitely a breed you can't really EFFECTIVELY use any kind of negative punishment with...ya it may work EVENTUALLY, but it also changes the entire relationship between that person and that dog. I am also the person that does not care when I've "hurt feelings" or even lost a few friendships any time I have..."corrected" how people treat any animals, whether mine or theirs. Hopefully that lady decides to defend her sweet pup, cuz I can tell from experience he will be more loyal than any man 😂😂❤ Love yall!!!
Story 5: definitely cheating or hiding something fishy. He probably is trying to turn it around to her OR mad that he had to move things around when she decided to go to the game only for her to cancel so he didn’t get to have his cake or eat it.
Exactly 💯! For once, I got the same immediate reaction as Jerry for this story: the guy is pissed because he had to cancel the plans with the other woman for nothing.
yeah if someone ever did that to my cat, you’re done, we’re done, i’m pressing charges for animal abuse fr
Story #1 - as someone with a degree in child development, I am heavily with Jerry on this one.
Common does not equal "right".
Yes, mom is struggling. But there is a time that one needs to step back and evaluate the type of parent you want to be and the impact you want to have on your children. It sounds like mom needs some healing, help, and therapy. It is never too late and being able to acknowledge where you went wrong and move forward is crucial.
I have a story for the allergy shots!
Not cats (we love them and have three). My husband is nearly anaphylactically allergic to plant pollen, especially grass. We moved to another state/ecosystem with more grass (Wisconsin) and he couldn't sleep through May-July, despite all other efforts to reduce his reactions. The only thing that worked for him was the allergy shot.
For him, it is a life-long commitment because once you stop taking the shots, the allergic reaction returns. It took six months for him to get to a monthly maintenance dose. During the worst months, he needs to take an additional Zyrtec, but his allergies are otherwise manageable when the grass is alive.
Dog guy- Deal breaker 100%.
Allergy shots changed my life!! I totally recommend them for your boyfriend, but they might be more affordable with insurance.
Story 4- My daughter had a reaction to spores that cats leave in the air. It comes from their saliva and can hang around in the air for up to 6 months. My daughter almost died from this as it attacks the lungs, it isn’t just the average allergy attack. What we needed to do was have the house fumigated every 3 months and we exposed her gradually, to build an immunity. However this took years.
Not me over here, literally so disappointed that nobody put Jerry's face in the MGM logo during the intro 😂😭
To the listener that struggled with self-esteem, I completely understand this. I truly have gone and still go through this same thought process about myself often. My biggest enemy was comparison, I would compare myself to everyone. It got to a point where I legitimately had to make stop my thoughts. If I started stalking someone on Instagram I would stop. If I started to think about if my boyfriend at the time at met her instead of me, I would stop. The biggest thing that helped me was taking control of my own thoughts and not allowing myself to dig into these dark holes. I still struggle with this all the time, but you have to find the things about yourself that do you like, and focus on those❤️
Story 5 - just tell people you want them there, these mind games of saying “you don’t need to stay” but you secretly want them to stay is so mentally exhausting. Like damn ppl don’t get angry at people when they literally do what they ask you to do 😅
Girl in story 3 should not be dating until she gets some self help. You can’t love someone if you hate yourself.
Story 4: Consider if you can build an attached or separate catio to give the cat a safe outside space and reduce the allergens shed inside. Cats will spend an insane amount of time in catios voluntarily. Could even give the cat it's own Indoor room attached to catio. Giving the cat it's own cat only room and keeping the rest of the house cat free is also an option (but I understand it's not preferable since cats like to be involved in their humans day to day). Another insane idea is building a separate structure or getting an RV as a clean bedroom space where they can sleep together, allergen free. Maybe swap clothes or shoes between the main house and makeshift inlaw suite/RV/ unattached bedroom. For the future, are there actually hypoallergenic cats? If so, consider them as future pets that are baby and partner safe.
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
I really try not to raise my voice at my kids, but the few times it has happened, I apologized and specifically say “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” both because I genuinely feel bad and to model apologizing when you do something wrong. And after a couple times of this, I started getting unprompted apologies back from him for whatever he was doing, whether I yelled or not. Adults lose their temper sometimes too, and we don’t tell them to go sit in a corner or stop feeling their big feelings. How can we expect the same from kids, who are still learning how to emotionally regulate?
I didn't grow up with my dad in my life consistently so these conversations are so refreshing. This is my new favorite podcast. Keep up the great work you guys 😊✨
I want to touch on the topic of y’all talking about yelling. Like I’ve said and previous videos, I am the middle child, I will say I haven’t added this, but the middle child of seven kids. Growing up with that many siblings. It was very hard and having to deal with the emotions that I had and the feelings that I had, and not being able to fully understand them and having my parents understand them was tremendously difficult. Now that I am 24 years old, knowing all the trauma that I have been through and the distinct that I have for my mother, which I won’t mention right now, but she is absent. Has made a significant impact on my life. Just looking at the development impacted my life that the emotional impact my parents had during that time is impeccable. The lack of responsibilities they have, and the lack of empathy that they have shown towards my childhood. It makes me enraged. I have gone through so much and so much therapy. I still miss my mother and my child self in me waits for her return. Which I never know what’s going to happen. My mother was a very impactful woman. She knew how to manipulate people think it was she wants. She didn’t seem with her children. I figured that out by the time I was 12. I am 24 now and my father has been divorced for 4 years and just got married. My mother want nothing to do with me. I guess I should I add she’s a sociopath, and I look exactly like her. Explains why she hates me, and sees me as competition.
My OH used to jump out from behind doors and stuff to "jump scare" my dogs when they were puppies. I never really considered it abusive but then I noticed my dogs acting nervous around him. So even that I put a stop to. Throwing them off the bed and tripping them on the stairs.. absolute red flag! He's trying to hurt that poor dog 😢
Biggest deal breaker ever if my partner or anyone were to mistreat any animals, let alone ones I take care of. I’d be catching multiple charges SO FAST
future architect here and i would love to see your process of the wedding venue!!
Story number 5 ..what if someone else was going to be there at the game but since OP insisted on being there for her man he told the other girl not to come. Then he was pissed because he had to cancel on the other girl ,so he's throwing a fit .
Exactly my thoughts! Especially because he tried to get her to leave again at halftime, but she said she was planning to stay, so he planned accordingly.
💯 this is what's happening in story 5, I would be shocked at any other explanation (and would seriously doubt them)
Omggg poor Boston ! Wish we had an update 😅 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃 This is an good episode 😊
To the girl with the boyfriend becoming a nurse and dealing with self esteem and jealousy issues-
I have lived my worst nightmare, my ex fell in love with my best friend and left me for her, so I’ll give you a few pieces of advice from my experience.
1. play out your worst case scenario in your head. Follow it all the way through to the conclusion, he falls in love with her, he leaves you for her, you’re left alone. Play it out and just feel your emotions through it, breathe through it. You know what happens at the end? You’d use it to make yourself better. That’s what I did. I was alone and that’s when I learned I can take care of myself and my body. I learned I didn’t need anyone to complete me. I learned to put my trust into myself because no. Matter. What. I’m always going to be here for myself even when no one else is. Now I’m happier than I have ever been in my life. So even if the worst case scenario did happen, you would be okay in the end. (Maybe that’s not your worst case but the exercise still applies, follow it through in your head and see where you end up)
2. Jealousy is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, anger. They all have triggering thoughts and they all have the ability to pass. They all end. The only thing that keeps them hanging around is your thoughts, so if you’re not sure how to feel through an emotion without labeling it good or bad and letting it pass out of your body, get a workbook to help you manage codependent thoughts. I bought one on Amazon and it helped me learn to manage my thoughts which then allows you to better manage your emotions. Meditation is also helpful for this, I really like Sam Harris’s meditation app but there are a ton of them out there.
3. Take a solo vacation. Go somewhere alone, try things outside of your comfort zone. This is one of the best ways to build self confidence, like Morgan was saying. You will learn to rely on yourself.
Let me know if I missed anything or if you have any other questions I might be able to answer on this
Me and my ex got a dog together and once my dog started getting older he started treating him bad. My dog is the most loving dog and such a cuddle bug and I was so angry and called him out on it all the time. That was one of the deal breakers, my dog would hate for me to leave him at home with him if I had to run errands and once I got back my dog was glued to me. Once our lease was up I RAN. Never will I have my dog go through that again.
The last one with the football dude… I used to date someone through high school and college that was extremely emotionally abusive. He would start a fight just to break up with me for a day, usually on my birthday or holidays, just so he wouldn’t have to get me a present or make a trip to my college to see me. Obviously, he would also take advantage of our one-day breakups to hookup with other people. This story is setting off alarms for me. He didn’t want her at the game because someone else was there to see him. Now, he’s using the fact that she left against her so they can be “in a fight,” so that when/if he gets caught cheating, he can say they weren’t together in his mind. Narcissistic behavior!! That’s my hot take, anyway.
story #3- girl i get where youre coming from but i am a nurse and youre gonna have to get used to your man around a lot of women. Like constantly. There was only 2 men out of 16 ppl in my classes. And 1 male instructor out like 6 instructors. Some women are definitely shady but that could be said for any profession. Like you said you have to find self love and trust your boyfriend. Currently working on that myself but i wish you luck❤️ If it makes you feel better nobody looks sexy with shit on your scrubs and not having ate/peed in 12 hrs. And he respected your boundaries when he asked you too, which is a green flag!!
Story 4: my bf and I have had this conversation sooo many times as I'm the one allergic to cats and have taken all of the meds mentioned (including shots). If I was op I would have a conversation with bf about where they see themselves in 5 years and that should answer her question. For my partner and I we agreed if we did have kid and they were allergic that baby is getting a clean room. We love our cats too much to give them up as many animals in shelters are put down simply cuz no one wants them.
Always look forward to this podcast, it's one of the highlights of my week! Just wanted to say thanks for doing what you do. ❤❤❤😊
My family does the same thing as the s/o does to Boston. There are days it is literally impossible for him to have done certain things and they still blame him over my mom’s dog who does it all! It’s so frustrating!
Story 5, I honestly side with Jerry on this one. In my opinion he tried to convince her not to be there cause he wanted someone else there, and when she did indeed leave he was upset cause he probably couldn't make the arrangements last minute with the person he wanted there.
The reason I think so is I dated a guy that was super close with his parents. One day while visiting his mom, she invited us to have dinner there, and me to stay the night, since she needed my help the following day. I say yes without hesitation, without discussing it with him as I assumed that he wouldn't have a problem since he never has. That day he did, cause, turned out he had plans with someone he cheated on me with and I messed up his plans that evening.
For the cat allergy story: I have allergies to pets as well but have two doggos with my husband! The way I’ve dealt with it is that we have very strict pet zones and non pet zones. So my dogs are not allowed upstairs at all, this keeps the second floor of the house a lot safer for my allergies especially your bedroom!!! Even though it sucks not being able to sleep with them, I’m able to sleep so much better this way. I know this might be more difficult with a cat but it’s worth a try. Even keeping close that were worn in the pet areas outside of the bedroom.
My boyfriend is a nurse, nursing school is hard. He needed his school friends to get through. He graduated a few years ago and doesn't really talk to any of his school friends anymore. He now is a nurse and is surrounded by women at work. Our rule is open phone policy, he can look at mine I can look at his. He tells me he's talking to coworkers, tells me if he is giving someone a ride. It's still hard, I had to do some brain rewiring for myself to recognize that I am beautiful in my way, and he loves me for me. I am enough. It's work everyday, but my boyfriends drive to help others is one of my favorite things about him.
Oh my gosh Morgan, you're so wise! Lol. The way you're giving advise to the girl who's insecure. Love it, beautiful advice. Also, you're absolutely STUNNING!
Story 1: when I lived w my dad during college, I witnessed my stepmother also get excessive w her kids (my half siblings) - I can’t even get into it w/o writing an essay but to keep things short, since they’ve been toddlers, she’d scream at them all the time about anything and some of her tactics of discipline were so extreme and unhinged that I couldn’t believe my eyes sometimes. My mom is the opposite, so it was shocking for me. I would try to talk to my stepmother but she wouldn’t listen since I don’t have kids myself despite telling her things other moms have told me. It’s painful to see but the only thing you can do for those kids is give them as much of your love as possible and hope they’ll go straight to therapy as adults
The way I GASPED with the dog story. I’d be enraged if it were my dog. Bf would never hear from me again
Howdy! I'm a 21yo female and I adopted my puppy 2 years ago and she is a certified ESA. I'm also a college student who is currently studying to become a vet and work in the pet industry. My dog is a pit-mix VERY energetic but also very well trained (I trained her myself and have done training classes w/ her). She is my light in the darkness of Pre-Vet lol. If my boyfriend had the AUDACITY to treat my dog like the guy in that story, I would not hesitate to tell him to gtfo and remove him from my life. BIG red flag in my eyes. Personally, I think that the guy is jealous of the dog
The girl who is boyfriend didn’t want her at the football game is definitely sleeping with a friend who just got broken up with 100%
FOR THE ALLERGY STORY- I suffer from severe cat and dog allergies as well and severe asthma. Whenever I go somewhere I know I’m going to have to deal with animals, I take a 24 hr Zyrtec, and then on top of that, every 6-8 hrs (or whatever the box allows) I take a Benadryl on top of the Zyrtec, which is totally fine as they don’t have the same active ingredient. My biggest recommendation would be to start receiving allergy shots once he gets insurance. They should either be free or only a couple hundred dollars which would be very worth it. There is a great chance of them being successful. I haven’t done them yet as I don’t have the money right now, but I know people who have gotten them and now have virtually no allergies. I know how much allergies SUCK and asthma attacks- so good luck and I hope this helps! (Also, in the mornings, take a morning inhaler if you can get one prescribed to you, it’ll set you up for success with open lungs for the rest of your day, and have a rescue inhaler at all times)
Story 4: I use to be DEATHLY allergic to cats and my boyfriend and mild allergies to them. The cat distribution system had 6 kittens born on my apartment porch and we ended up taking them in and caring for them. We now have two that live with us (two of them my parents kept and the last two went to a really nice home in the neighborhood) and although during their shedding season we still get bad allergies, the “exposure therapy” helped us. I do, however, take daily allergy medicine regardless and during the times I feel more allergic to my kitties I’ll pop a Benadryl or two. A lot of it also has to do with their food- we feed them pouring pro plan complete essential and mix some omega-3 cat fish oil in it. Both of those help their skin and coat (they have sensitive skin) and they’ve been softer, shiner, and don’t have as much dander, if any at all anymore.
Depending on how long your boyfriend has lived with you, give it more time and try daily allergy pills that are prescribed, change their diet and don’t forget to clean wash the fabrics your kitty may touch!
Egg white powder in the cats food should cut back the dander of the cat!! There's special foods that have this as an additive already in cat food or you can add it yourself. The egg whites have to be from chickens raised around cats or it won't work the same it makes the chicken produce a special protein that fights dander
Story 4: There are cat foods that help owners with cat allergies. They affect the cats dander, might be worth a try.
Yes I think it is Pro Plan live clear or something along those lines. I recommend it to a lot of my clients and the few that I've tried it, swear by it now!
Exactly what came to mind for me as well. Look into the specialty cat foods.
I also saw that if u eat eggs from a farm where the chickens live with cats there is something in the egg that could make the allergies go away :) something to try
I kinda agree with Dad’s take on mom yelling 😂 there’s a difference like you’ve mentioned about POV’s. I understand that, but also another point of view Dad may be referring to is Yelling with a Partner. He may not have agreed with treatment towards him as well as you guys when you were all kids.
I listened to my mom screaming and yelling constantly, a lot of it was warranted however there were times my dad would say “ was it necessary to yell this? You’re just upset about something else and taking it out on the kids or me.”
I know when I’ve seen my friends parents just yell and raise their voice and say everything sternly to their kids, it was also affecting their relationship with their partners. Idk maybe I just reexplained your point 😂 I’m dumb and new to commenting so everyone please please be nice 😅
Hi I'm responding to the cat allergy! I have pretty bad cat allergies and also own not one but two cats! I will admit mine are not quite as disabling as his are BUT if I do not vacuum daily and keep my air purifiers clean, I find myself in a lot of trouble. Sometimes rushing outside because I am unable to breathe. The cats and I have both had to make compromises. For one, my cats are never allowed in my bedroom. Blankets found with cat hair and clothes are immediately washed. Every room is vacuumed and cleaned multiple times a week. Cat areas are cleaned daily. My cats are only allowed in living spaces, so bedrooms and bathrooms are off limits. I have to have places I can go to escape if I need to. My husband and I have gone to huge strides to ensure that all of us can live happily in the same house. It takes a lot of work and awareness. But I love my cats and we have our times together. I can snuggle them if I use a blanket and am sure to wash my hands afterwards. It is very difficult at times but it can work. I take allergy meds from the doc daily, and have invested in good nasal inhalers as well. If you are willing to put in the work you can find a way.
I watched every single episode, and they kept popping up on my homepage, so I always thought I was subscribed. It wasn't until you guys said to "hit that subscribe button" at the end of this episode that I checked and realized I never subscribed
The dog story pissed me off 😅. That guy would’ve been out the first time he mistreated my animal. I don’t even date people who say they don’t like cats or dogs. If you’ve got a bias like that is weird and concerning enough for me not to trust you near my animals. I don’t even care if that seems extreme either. I would be the same with my children if I had any. I don’t take my job as their caregiver as lightly like that OP seems to. It boggles my mind that she was considering keeping him around.
I AGREE COMPLETELY!!
Very unfair to say just because someone thesnt like cats or dogs thesnt mean they will abuse them i personally dont like animals have never abused them and hate when people mistreat animals it pissed me off i had a friend leave on vacation not tell anyone and leave her dog in the cold no food no water i found this out after one day of the dog suffering i got the dog put it in my house with a heater and blanket offered it food water and shelter until she returned then i confronted her and told her if she would have told me i would have watched the dog while she was out of town at first she lashed out on me for taking her dog without telling her but after a couple hours she knew she was in the wrong moral of the story idont like animals but wouldint mistreat them she loves animals and mistreated the dog 🐶 so not everyone that thesnt like cats or dogs would abuse them thats insane
I trust an animal if it doesn’t like a human, I don’t trust any humans who mistreat animals. Absolutley heartbreaking for poor Boston. I would have left the minute he intentionally hurt my dog.
For the boyfriend allergic to cats, if he is living with the cat he can actually get adjusted to the cats allergens, this rarely does happen with adult cats tho. However, kittens do not have the same protein people are allergic to, so if you have a kitten, you can get immune to that cats allergens. My husband is very allergic to cats and when we got our kitten (who is now 3) my husband has no issues at all! (my husband also has asthma) only time he has a reaction is if Edgar licks him, (which the saliva is what causes the allergy for the most part) and he just gets a couple hives on the area Edgar licked.
We did adopt a 6 month old cat 2yrs ago, and at first it was rough. He has bad allergies with poor Bruce. But after about 6months to a year it subsided and he doesn't have an issue anymore. Everyone's allergies are different and every cats allergens are different so it really depends but just here to say it worked out twice for us! And for anyone allergic but wants to foster, if you foster kittens it is extremely rare to be allergic to kittens so go foster those babies!!!!
Story 2- "he treats my dog differently," girl, he abuses your dog. Poor baby (dog). I hope this video and comments have helped you open your eyes and that you leave him. Your dog deserves a co-owner that doesn't abuse them.
Story 5: he's cheating. He didnt want you there because the other person was going to be there. Because you were there he didnt get to hang out with that person. When you said you were leaving he immediately went to hang out with them. If he was upset he would have texted you back immediately, not waited until after the game. He flirted with them the whole game and then he faked mad so he could make an excuse to not come home and spend the night with them instead. You didn't let that happen so then he had to lean into the "I'm mad" act. He probably spent the whole time locked in his room flirting with the other person. Maybe he snuck out but I'm guessing there were signs he was in there . If he was locked in that room truly all night and you never spoke to him and never saw him he might not have been in the room at all
52:34 I would NEVER ditch my cat over a baby 💀 MY CAT WINS OVER A CHILD EVERY TIME
When he says ask yourself what would you do if your kid was allergic to cats? My immediately thought was “welp guess I gotta get rid of the kid” 😂😂
You two are the cutest, and so funny.
This comment is for the cat allergy story!! My girlfriend is the same way. What I have found that works is a combination of things. I use the allerpet spray for the cat (amazon), live pure furniture/carpet spray (amazon). These both help neutralize the protein that is the most common allergen. I also feed my cat Purina Live Clear which has eggs in it from chickens raised around cats. It helps neutralize the protein at the source in the saliva. Occasional baths with a shampoo for allergies can help too. The biggest thing is making sure bedding is washed every few weeks, keep your bedroom door closed if possible to make it as allergen free and possible and believe it or not WASH YOUR VACUUM FILTER. Every time I vacuumed things seemed to get worse and it was because the vacuum was throwing all the dander into the air because my filter wasn't cleaned regularly
A guest of my roommate said some dumb things about my cats...she left immediately after. You don't disrespect people or animals in their own home. Period. If someone physically touched one of them, I would be getting physical in return.
Story 2: (tw pet loss)
.
.
.
.
.
I just recently lost my 13.5 year old miniature dachshund, Bessie. I'd had her since I was 11 (25 now) and I wouldn't let anyone speak to her in more than a stern tone, let alone put a hand on her. 😭 Poor Boston. I really hope she dumps her crusty, abusive boyfriend.
Happy Halloween fam ! 🎃 👻 excited for another great episode
I am allergic to cats and dogs and currently live with both after years of the allergy shots. I was always sick as a kid even resulting in a hospital visit due to the severity with living with both types animals and just generally being around them. The allergy shots are extremely helpful if done properly and consistently. Besides in the spring when my seasonal allergies come around and the occasional headache I have no issues. Definitely possibly and doable as long as your committed to it.
What is it with dads and having holes in their socks 😂 my dad swears I stare holes into his socks.
First story 1000% seeing how a person behaves with animals, gives me all I need to know on how I should behave with them
My husband gets the allergy shots!! We have 4 of our own cats and I foster so at any given time we have up to 16 cats total (I can’t say no when the rescue asks for help 😂) and he would get them weekly then monthly for maintenance and it’s been so much better. He still takes an allergy pill daily and has an inhaler just in case but he says it’s a lot better
I would never tolerate any partner being mean to my pets. I’ve always had the rule of if you don’t like my animals then you won’t like me.
suggestions for OP from story 4. my boyfriend is allergic to cats and we live together with kitties. my biggest tip is to have a cat free room. we sleep in that room whenever his allergies act up. it really helps!
“what if they break up and she gave the cat away”. this happened to me with my iguana. he was my baby. i had him for a few years when my ex told me i should rehome him because of “the stress it was causing me”. i broke down (spiraling) and did it. he broke up with me weeks later and my iguana died in his new home 2 years later during a freeze at the age of maybe 5. i’m devastated and will be forever. i raised him from just a little guy and built him 2 cages with my grandpa. his second one was 6 feet tall, 4 wide, 2 deep. LED lighting on top as well as UVB installed. a shelf to hang out on, a giant piece of driftwood going up to it. a hanging 3 tier shelf with some ivy and a humidifier on it. a big corn plant. a giant tub of water at the bottom. it had solid double doors on the bottom half with a heavy duty lock, and transparent double doors on top with 3 locks. the inside was painted green and the outside stained dark brown. it was on wheels. i even had his initial hanging inside his cage painted a similar shade of red to him. he was such a happy lizard. when i rehomed him he was still a bit under half grown. his new enclosure was 10’x10’ and i was happy for him. i just can’t help but wonder if he’d still be alive with me. i feel so horrible knowing he froze to death in a home i was manipulated into sending him to. i don’t believe it’s the new owners fault but it’s tragic.
OMG its Two Hot Takes Dadders ! Absolutely LOVE THIS - I have now Subscribed
With that football coach story. That man is absolutely cheating on her.
Not a mom, but an auntie, and somebody who studied psychology/child psychology for a long time. I almost NEVER raise my voice at the kids, so when I do it is SUPER effective. (I save it for emergencies, such as when one of the children could be in danger.)
Appreciate the clear and concise info!
For the cat/bf problem: how about making the bedroom an off limits zone for the cat? Cat can have the rest of the house but the bedroom is only for you two. His fur won’t be all over the place making his allergies act up at night.
Yeah.... the last story is giving master manipulator - he didn't care if she came to the game, almost trying to convince her not to go, then once she has to leave early, he tries to guilt trip her so it makes it look like he has a "reason" to be upset and maybe not come home and go see this mistress in question...or he's literally crazy. buttttttt we need an update!!!!
I would have left that man so fast if he ever treated my dog like that.. also, sweeping their feet out from under them on the stairs?! For what?? Major red flag 🚩 🚩 🚩
As a vet with my own little shih tzu, absolutely not! If my partner ever so much as laid a hand on my dog, they’re done. We’re done. That is absolutely animal abuse. I’d raise hell on him.
My husband and I both brought a dog into our relationship. My old lady smaller dog, and his 3 year old (now 7) bulky and asshole of a big dog, then we also rescued another female big dog from a family member who was going to put her in the shelter, together.
We just sort of subconsciously agreed on how to discipline and deal with the dogs together.
They’re like kids.
You know those kids that refuse to listen unless you scream at them and or spank them? Like will literally just ignore you and act like a little shit until that point? Yep that’s his dog.
Then you have the kids that don’t do anything wrong (she sometimes peed but it’s because she’s old and has medical issues, so it can’t be helped and is not a punishable offense) and just sit around, that’s my dog.
And then there’s the kids that do bad stuff but mostly on accident and will cry if you even look at them wrong. That’s OUR dog that we adopted together.
So we “punish” and deal with each dog based on their own temperament and what is appropriate for them specifically.
But how we handle each dog is pretty consistent between the two of us.
My pup (13 years old) is my first baby and I love her SO much.
Through ups and downs of our relationship, the way my husband treats and deals with her has been one reason I liked staying with him.
Because there are people out there like the guy in this story who would abuse her.
And I’m not willing to risk that..
My daughter’s BF (now hubby 16 years) was allergic to her cats. He got allergy shots AND they shaved both cats in lion cut. For them it was a win/win. The cats looked adorable and both cats LoVeD their hair shaved. The cats both passed 2 years ago age 18/19. She had cats since college, first 14 years married life and their kids were able to love the cats 8/10 years. I would try NAET AND shaving cat first , next allergy shots AND shaving cat. Thanks for the fabulous show again. Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🎃