*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
It was the realisation that it wasn’t personal that helped me get over it. I cried for the loss of the relationship, and accepting that the relationship had never even been real anyway was kind of a double blow. But I’ve accepted it and moved on. I’m ok now, and just have to deal with ‘normal’ life dramas and issues - it’s such a relief.
There will NEVER be closure w/a narcissist. My final closure was when he passed away. He went mentally insane at the end when he knew he no longer had control over me. He still tried to destroy me but he failed. For my sanity and to move forward the best decision I made was/is therapy (going on 4 yrs now). Oh the gaslighting, lovebombing, trauma bonding, sexual exploitation but no physical sex (withheld as punishment) lied every time he opened his mouth and he was cheating on me for our entire marriage (10 yrs). You can not fight or argue with a narcissist, they will use anything/anyone against you (anything you ever trusted them with). No contact is really the best way to go and remove all mutual friends from social media, do not tell anyone where you live unless you want the narcissist and their family/friends to stalk you and report back. Take care of yourself, mentally and physically. It's not a 1 and done, moving forward is going to be difficult but you are stronger than you think. Be blessed and I'm so proud of you. You got this, 1 day, hour, minute, second at a time. You 1st everything else 2nd. Stay safe, strong and blessed
My first clue was deflection tactics in arguments - I could never get my wife to resolve even the smallest issue because she’d deflect and after 3 hours of argument we’d be talking about something completely different
Same here. It seems like 3 hours is a magical number for them. I already knew that it just didn't make any sense at all. We're laying out facts and/or trying to resolve the conflict with solutions, and here they are replaying their reality (which, in my case, I'd already validated) and shaming us the whole time...exhausting.
OMG you described my father exactly @3:41 😳He was always a charmer until he got older and no longer had his looks. You can only be so charming pushing around a walker with an oxygen tank 🫤
My ex has burned a lot of bridges. Numerous ex partners, business associates and the religious organization where we originally met. She’s moved multiple times. When she started devaluing me, I told my best friend what she was doing to me and he told me “she sounds like a sociopath” (he’s been in a couple of toxic relationships himself). Thats what ultimately led me to the rabbit hole of researching narcissism, and unfortunately she fits the description of narcissism perfectly.
I stumbled across Rebecca Zung's videos on narcissism. The light came on, and I felt like I wasn't crazy after all when I heard another human being describe the behavior I had been dealing with. It was a beautiful realization! 😃❤🙏✌
How I stumbled upon narcissism? Same way than you -and perhaps everyone: Noticing that something was fishy in my relationship and tried to figure out. After long hours of research from different sources, VOILA! everything fell into place...
Roughly 15 years ago on my lunch break I started googling my husband’s behavior. I was at a loss and felt like I was losing my mind. The term narcissist popped up and eureka! It described his tendencies, my in-laws behaviors, and the effects of the gaslighting I’d been subjected to for years. It’s been a long road but I’m finally content and free of the control and self doubt that had been heaped upon me by my spouse. Protect your soul and listen to your gut. You’re stronger than you realize and when the chips are down the fight in you will keep you grounded in the truth and reality of your circumstances, it will move you forward to a healthier tomorrow. You have to know that you have been the stronger one all along.
Same! I was confused and couldn't understand what was going on or why he was so mean to me for NO reason. I came upon the term narcissist and it was the same feeling - eureka! I was like, how did it take me 12 years to see this?? Because he was mostly fine until I confronted him on his lies, then it all changed. My in laws were the same - he would use them to triangulate - he would tell them lies about me, they would covertly abuse me, so I thought they were the problem.
@@Abe-rz1nm it’s total crazy making. At the very least we now know all the predictable behaviors to look out for and NOT react too. Wishing you peace and resilience.
When I told him he is a narcissist, his response was "you dont even know what it means" wow! He is on self destruct and blowing up everything in his path. He looks a mess, dependent on alcohol, taking new supply along a dark path (I predicted as much) but I did warn her. I am healing every day, my health is better, my life is better. Be kind to yourselves ❤
My experience with Narcissists is that they are good at first impressions, however most people usually catch on to them sooner or later. I agree that Narcissists often self destruct, they have trouble learning or improving, as they think they're perfect already. It ain't pretty what can happen to these people, and also old age and death are a insult to their grandiose self image!
I was recently diagnosed with Kidney cancer. When I came home and told my husband, he said, "I've already accepted your death. Death is a part of life". I didn't know what to do. I needed a shoulder and some empathy, instead, he told me that I was "going to just use my diagnosis of cancer, for sympathy." He told me I was weak.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a similar situation with my Ex it opened up my eyes to see things differently. I never knew people are like that. Hopefully you have found a support system
Similar happened to me. i called my now-ex overt narcissist spouse and told him my father (whom I had been caring for) died. His exact words were, " You think you are the only one who ever lost a father?" Find other people whi care for you, because a narciissist cannot and never will.
Debbie this was painful to read, you are not weak, because you must have endured so much over the years with that man. His response lacked empathy and compassion for his wife- the very least you deserve. I hope this isn't terminal, but you need to make yourself your priority- we only have one life, and these types cause so much darkness because they envy our inner light. Please feed your light x
Be well, Debbie! The narcs have ZERO empathy … mine used to have a little towards me … last 2 years, zero empathy! I had to ask myself if I wanted to spend the last part of my life with a ‘mate’ who has no empathy and the answer was clear … we are starting the divorce proceedings.
I stumbled upon narcissism when Chris Watts killed his family. They said he was a narcissist and his personality was just like my husband!!! I went to a therapist. She validated my suspicion. I’m not living with him but he still tricks me into contact. We have a house to sell together and as far as he’s concerned it’s my problem. he’s the most manipulative person on the planet. 30 years of hell.
My big red flag came when he started blaming me for EVERYTHING. He had a problem with me having a part time job instead of staying home while he had been unemployed for 2 months. One day when I was supposed to work all day, I took off half the day so I could drop him off at an interview out of town, an hour away. I left work at noon and his interview was at 3pm. After picking me up, he first had to go home and prepare (which he should have been doing during the 3 hours I was at work) He drove to the city, and when we came across a traffic jam, he blamed me for being late to his interview. He then said that his sister is right and he just needs to put himself first before everybody else. Everything quickly started snapping into clear view after that.
I love your channel, always good information and advice, thank you! I had an experience almost ten years ago with a narcissist. At the time I had only recently come out of a pong tern relationship and was by myself. I worked away a lot so dating was tricky as I am not into one night stands. I got onto this dating site to try and meet someone nice. I ended up meeting this woman who seemed really into me and lived in my area. Looking back there were a number of red flags but love is blind as they say and I couldnt see them at the time. Classic love bombing in the beginning, sex on tap, then the games started, hot cold behaviour, silent treatment, gaslighting. I found out she had a history of using men to help pay the rent, and boy did ahe ruah me to move in with her against my better judgement. The worst part is when you discover the woman you fell in love with was just a construct and never really existed. The constant questions at the beginning suddenly made sense, they were renlentless). I would get around 30-40 texts a day too! Of course, once your 'usefulness' is over, they dump you without a second thought, its one if the most hurtful things to experience because you slowly realise you meant nothing to them, were merely a means to an end. I think for anyone who is going through this, my main advice would be realise it is not you, its them and don't believe their BS, because they project constantly. Stay strong and know there are better partners out there for you and you deserve someone better.🙏💪
It's important to realize they often become narcissists from trauma. They build their false self out of defense as children. Yes there are some who are that way from being placed on a pedestal but most often it's from trauma. That doesn't mean they can see themselves and change. It just may help people realize they are the way they are for a reason.
I have always felt as though I was being the victim of narcs in previous relationships. In retrospect it seems I was at fault and burnt many bridges. I relate to this video very well and hopefully will try and make future relationships more meaningful. Not for me but for everyone else. Trying not to make every relationships transactional will be my main focus as a start. Thank you for the content.
I don't see my ex-narc self-destructing. In fact, he's managed to make all my "friends" (they obviously weren't. It still hurt, though, a lot) leave me and become his friends. They gave him a raise so I had to step down because I didn't want to be in the same field as his. And all this after all this friends knew we ended things and I said he didn't treat me right, nothing else, only that statement. To me, I've lost it all and he's at the top of the world. I'm alone and he's surrounded by "my friends". So, yeah, at this point I think he wins at life. Not that I would ever want to be like him, I rather die, but the unfairness of it all makes me so sad I just want to crawl under my sheets and never leave again.
I wish more of us had friends like mine. My friends cursed this individual out and called her out right away when she tried the whole triangulation angle. Prayers to you. No one deserves to be treated with unfairness and abuse.
@@johannbarker11 Thank you for being so kind and I'm glad that you have good friends that support you. Kudos to them for seeing the truth and being there for you. You've been through enough, you deserve that kind of friends 🤗
@@LetMeBeLighter I'm lucky /blessed. I've been surrounded by these great people for a long time; well before I got involved with these "relationships." Still though, I appreciate your reply and wish for you better tomorrow's 😊😊
Unfortyunately... That is the chorus Line to a lot of Songs and lives. For those that believe in Karma I have a long list of people whom fool most of the people most of the time and threaten & or disable those that know the truth AND are brave enough to voice their facts only to be hit by the truthful "No-one will believe you" anyway and a ruined reputation. Stupid people in large groups follow charming Narcists instinctively.
"It ain't over till it's over "- Casey Stengel. That he looks atop the world is an illusion. So he has the talent for conning the masses- so do dirty politicians. There might have not have been one rock solid, true friend in a bunch that could be easily swayed. "The loser now, will be later to win"- Bob Dylan Right now, that "you know" and will stand solid with yourself is the only thing that matters in the entire world. The best to you!
It started with me searching being stalked and harassed. Then I stumbled across targeted individuals, which then led me to finding narcissism and now I'm exposing and healing.
For me? It was Kati Morton's video, where I learned that for people who've suffered emotional abuse, the concept of someone being kind and loving may be foreign and scary. That was what sold me: ALL my relationships that failed were with people who treated me kindly, and the only reason for that was that I'd experienced emotional abuse. A bit more searching via the Narcissist Family Files and I found that I have a covert narcissistic father.
Watched Dr Ramani video narcissism explained. As i was watching it was like waking up out of the matrix. Everything she talked about hit the nail on the head. Then started learning about narcissism and went NC
I discovered the narcissistic connection with my ex when I looked into "silent stalking". After the breakup, she kept creeping my social media, so I actually put out an olive branch saying if she wanted to talk I would hear her out. No reply. Yet, the stalking continued. That was odd, so in researching that I learned about covert narcissism and so many things -- past and present -- suddenly made sense.
I stumbled across narcissism due to reviewing videos on husbands watching porn behind their wives backs. My husband has been doing it for 42 years. I’ve been with him for 25 years. I now learned that he is a covert narcissist. I enjoy watching your videos. keep them excellent work.
My narc brother once said to me “I’m a sociopath, I don’t have feelings.” When he said this, I looked it up and that was how I came across narcissism. He knows something is wrong with him but he doesn’t care to fix it. It’s crazy watching him because he hurts those around him, then when he gets called on his poor behaviour, he rages (clearly he has that “feeling”),then acts like it was our fault he can’t self regulate. If you knew you were a “sociopath” why would you tell someone? I was already on guard around him, after that comment it increased 100 fold. I found the entire thing deeply disturbing. He would also tell me that he would be patient waiting to get revenge on people so when they least expected it he would retaliate, even if it “hurt him” in the process. These were his exact words. Why an earth would I want to be around someone like that??? I knew “sister status” wouldn’t mean one darn thing if I did something he considered a threat toward himself.
It's like they deliberately self sabotage everytime they start believing they have something good in their life. The accusations are extremely hard to understand or deal with. The paranoia they throw at you is really sad to witness. The lack of accountability is also hard to fathom. The minute you think you've nailed it and found the "one" it goes to 💩such a shame cause I do believe there's beauty in there. They know it, we know it. They show it, realise and then press the self destruction button.
Great video. They will stop at nothing to draw the attention. The real thing is watching a UA-cam channel you know is a narcissist. My god some of the stuff. They just can’t help themselves. It’s almost like to be on UA-cam they need a screener. But they won’t listen to the screener anyway and still pay them lol. Your talks are great. Loving them.
Same. My narc treated me so bad and cheated and discarded. But her life fell apart after that, she went off the rails doing drugs and self harming. Her family even turned their back on her after what she did to me, they all saw. I feel bad for her sometimes too and I wish I couldn't. I like that Karma got her but I'm still feeling that empathy on a human level.
Thanks! UA-cam puts the links from the video cards (that pop up during the video) at the bottom of the description now, so I haven't been adding them to the description manually. It's actually below the written description and below my channel name, so maybe down a bit further than you might expect.
My ex gf of 8 months has been seeing an old American guy. He came to see her in France recently but she started sending me texts again while he was there. Secretly sending me pictures and videos. She told me he was boring and couldn’t wait for him to leave. She was love bombing me again and then yesterday she did a complete 360 on me saying she wanted to be single and has blocked me again. Mind is totally blown. These people are on a different planet!
I remember her menu pathological lying and it was a long time ago but I remember cuz I thought wow that is interesting also since I’m a doctor so even so. Well safe to say one thing led to another and then I realised how it was all so pathological and then I came across narcissism and then everything made sense I read people very well now and all good
What about the narcissists that manage to keep long term connections and have successful careers? I feel I’m the one who has jumped from job to job and place to place.. but always trying to escape one narcissist or another.. yet people might see that as suspicious..
A business relationship is not the same as a romantic or family relationship. We reward lots of behavior in business that doesn't work in other areas of life. Narcissists can close the deal, obviously, in multiple areas, but they expend little energy in maintenance. Once the deal in business has been made, how much does it really take to keep it going? It's not like at home, where you are expected to interact with the same people IRL on a daily basis. 🤔
@dawnkikong637 Thank you for your replies! Definitely interested in your experience. I’ve done both - stuck it out.. massively detrimental to my health, but proved to myself I’m not ‘weak’.. I’ve also left, because life is too short. Now I would recommend the latter every time. For me the REAL problem was that I bought into what is in fact narcissistic narratives - where they define every healthy normal reaction to their type of behaviours as weakness. Essentially invalidation and gaslighting. Now I realise how much abuse I’ve experienced - I no longer buy into all that BS, it kept me in many toxic work positions, as I was primed to see myself as the problem not them and the toxic workplace environments they create.
@cc1k435 True but businesses value their reputation. However many businesses appear and disappear, reform under another name and are totally driven by providing rewards for shareholders, so in that scenario there’s no downside for them to having really toxic individuals who deliver short term results.
@annastone5624 Big businesses these days are the epitome of narcissism. Unlimited growth is a myth, but they still pursue it at the cost of workers and the public.
He left house saying that I was crazy and driving his life mad by jealousy. He went to his sister home and even said that to her and kept seeing his lover, thought. With freedom once he lied he was divorced.
Hey ladies, before you throw that ex under the bus here (which seems to be the trend)... keep in mind: Narcissists always deny any responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior. To achieve this they use inherently use denial, delusion, gaslighting, minimization, deflection, blaming the victim, and playing the victim. Exaggerated victimhood is a textbook feature of narcissistic grandiosity. Narcissists play the victim to garner sympathy and avoid responsibility for their abusive behavior. Recent studies show that many female narcissists dress in sexually provocative ways-revealing clothing and/or wearing a lot of makeup. Many use sexual seduction to manipulate or financially exploit others.
I dated a few overt narcs and I knew what to look for The covert narcs have a more subtle way of slithering into your life. When I first met my EX gf she talked about sex with her past lovers like normal conversation. Little did I know she was enticing me to get in between her legs. At first I ignored the talk but later thought how it was odd behavior especially when I barely knew her. Later I saw how she used the same tactic around other men she didn't know as well. It makes me mad knowing that conversation is meant for couples who are sleeping with each other, and any other sexual talk with a stranger is unexceptable.
@@carrotstick1970 yes she refers to the video at that point, but doesn't say where the video is. So I'm looking for a link to the video if I can get it 😀
I first learned my wife is narcissistic after I heard her tell her former best freind's mom that her former best freind (the daughter) is a narcissist. Later I heard my wife and her boyfreind talking when he says "we are both narcissists." It all has made sense since then.
But I know narcissists that have the same group of friends and the same job for a long time and a relationship/marriage for a long time so they seem to get away with it
My experience with my narc ex was that she didn’t have any real friends. She had people she used for different things but no one that was just a friend. If they couldn’t provide her with whatever she wanted she would dump them.
@@davidmckay4423 yes I had a friend like that. So I know this is real but some people seem to be dancing around getting caught. See that in church a lot also.
I don't see them suffering any consequences because they simply don't care! None of these consequences bother them, they simply deflect and carry on with their evil deeds!
In case it isn't apparent, exposing the narcissist could be you simply asking the question "why?..." Why are we fighting right now?... Why did you see fit to think that I am feeling sad when I have already told you I'm ok?... I know from my own experience that I sincerely did not see the sense in fighting someone that I'm in love with and sincerely wanted to know where their feelings were coming from in order to resolve the senseless conflict. Apparently, these seemingly harmless questions may have exposed a deeper truth that would hurt them more; asking resulted in an exacerbation of the already existing conflict.
@@Hookhackle yeah I've heard about this aspect of the also. In my case they raged out or did more things to continue the argument (word salad being a particular feature). At the end of the day they think taking accountability is harder than deflecting/avoiding 🤣🤣
I struggle with self destructing. I also struggle with feeling and showing empathy. It's destroying my marriage, and I don't want to be this way. Am I a narcissist, or would it most likely be something else because I know I am causing issues in my relationship and I want to change, I'm just failing all the time. I'm trying to figure out how to fix me. Do narcissists have periods of self awareness like me, or should I be looking towards different type of support
Hi Christina can you please do a video for me. Me and my narc are going through a divorce. I had to move to another city because he was so aggressive. He's a malignant narcissist. Very very abusive to me but not our kids.when I left i couldn't bring them because I was homeless. Now that it's been years of no contact mode and him holding our kids from me, im strong enough to face him and save my kids! Please help
Also, when I went no contact, it hurt because I missed my kids, but I REALLY WENT NO CONTACT! it was the hardest thing I've ever done, still doing..how do you move forward?
for a narcissist, the only time that matters is the present, and the only goal is control and manipulation of others , as a means of getting anything that they need. no price is too high for that, including relationships with people who are abusive in any imaginable way. they gave away their personal boundaries in order to take yours away from you.
My mother my whole life was a pathological klepto liar who couldn't stop cheating on my dad. He died. She didn't change her ways. I left. Years later the term gaslight came across my screen. I then started searching for what a human parasite is, a real life vampire..... one who SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF ANYONE AND ANYTHING..... enter narcissist 😂
I saw a facebook messenger message from her "former" bf. She was 47 and he was her bf in high school. After a little digging i discovered miney missing. That was the beginning of the end.....
Ok. Buckle up for this story. My narcs mom died. He had been estranged from her for many years. One he got a call from the corner in California. He lives in Belgium so we had to fly to California to give a DNA test to identify her body. She had died inside her trailer along with 15 or 20 cats. No one discover her body for two months, so there was nothing left. they rescued those 20 animals. And here’s the very disgusting part. Her cats were trapped inside the trailer with her for two months. And they began to eat her. I know this is rough. So he didn’t want anything to do with the financial responsibility so he got a lawyer. Her landlord tried to sue for damages and clean up of her trailer. He told me during a discussion with the coroner, he actually had a laugh, siting that it was much like a Monty Python sketch. SUCH horrific detachment!!! Bizarre beyond belief. He buried where I went back to his life as normal. He said to me “yeah I miss her but it’s all over now.”. Today, this is the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life and hope to never hear anything like this ever again.
After years of marriage i notice my wife is Narcissistic, after heart atack she didn't call ambulance, and when confronted here she was raging at me, that i dear to talk abut it with my parents coz i Puting her in bad position, i was spechless zero sympaty, intold here you basically left me to die, i aoke up with my bed with my sons with out her in bed, i tottaly start ignoring here, and now she started going for girls night out, im loughing
Leaving my abuser right now. On the verge of no contact. Been doing damage control for 8 years straight. The only thing that has delayed is my dedication to the step kids that I raised by myself pretty much. But I just can't anymore. My brain is breaking and I have to take care of my mom. My abuser seriously provoked my 68 yo mom into a physical altercation and blamed my mom. I called 911 and they blamed my mom, which is insane and hilarious if you know my mom. Please god..I don't wish bad on her. But it would be so satisfying and helpful, if I could see the crash and lesson learned. I'm so scared for my step kids, mom, and myself. Desperation for a narcissist is a scary thing.
Wow! Your ex sure chose the wrong person to lie to. The Narcs? It's that "off-ness" that they cannot answer the simple question: "Do you think it's OK and admirable if someone treated you like dirt, conned you, etc.?" Their depth of reply would be: "Nah, it'll never happen to me." Let them truck on in their robotic world. It needn't be Karma, it will be when it all comes crashing down in many other ways.
The little old man narcissist down the street shows his dominance by pacing up n down in front of neighbors homes with a metal pipe, we leave him alone😊
I knew that something was wrong with her at first glance. She was too perfect. Carefully watching her I deduced that she was too nervous around me. Not talking too much, not revealing any additional information. Blocking me with "I have a boyfriend". But still, she went out to party and sleep around. After a while, she asked me, and we went out, but I couldn't understand what she wanted. Started to blame me for unknown reasons. So, I ended it on the spot. It was easy and controlled. Coz I solve this happening before I get involved with her. In my head, like many solutions. Later I wondered why she acted like that, almost like my father and sister, and now mum. They have got a problem with me. So, reading a lot I came to the conclusion Im INFJ, and they are pissed off at me. With narcissistic tendencies, my dad and her got NPD. I'm afraid for my sister, Mum just adapted to my dad's conduct. God gave me the option to dial down empathy as I like it, so I just observe them. I will fight back with all knowledge about NPD, and strike where it hurts. Like better NPD than them. I just feel stressed to do my acting right. To give that 110%. They are not getting better, only worse. There is no help.
After growing up with a mother that stated that children don't need love ? And the bonus round was an antisocial brother I looked up to for 20 years until his jealousy and hate became truly apparent. After studying this behaviour science I found myself a Narcicist neighbor I used to work with.He is a haggard looking 80 year old afraid of GOD and a walker of 20,000 steps a day to fight off age and vulnerability.So, since I started walking for my overall health but I only go 30 minutes so I use my time wisely.I could listen to music but I find it much more entertaining to walk with Jackass when he asks me.I love bombed him at first and now I make him ask to go get in tthe rest of his 20,000 steps.All through the walk I spout out ideads, theories and brag about my wealth and marriage , my improving health with ONLY 30 minutes a day.Some days I crawl inside of him and judge him, critisize his mistakes, make him doubtful and sullen. I'm so grateful to have a subject like Jack to get me good exercise and teach me things while I prode and poke around in the casket.
Just recently got out of a relationship. And just recently opened all my eyes to all of this stuff. Just need some help making sure that all of this stuff is true. She wanted me to change everything about me. And when I didn't change something. She nagged me about it, and then she put more stuff on top of it, She never took fault in anything. She always put the blame back on me just trying to figure out if all of this stuff is narcissist and I know she was gas lighting. Me was in this relationship for 4 years. She ended it when I decided that I was going to move out and be on my own. We have a little girl together. And now she's trying to take her from me and control the whole situation. So if someone can help me determine if she was a narcissist. Thanks
My EX was the same way. She slowly criticised the clothes I wore and the music I listened to. She would degrade my hobbies and interests when I chose NOT to marry her. She went so far to criticise how I grew up as a child and how my parents shouldn't had 4 children because that's too many to disperse attention and care.
You talk about how narcissist lie. Well, my son is a narcissist, and yet he claims he never lives, but I always catch him in lies. I’d really like to know if there’s anything that anyone else can do to help a narcissist change? Or is there anything in their lives that has to happen to make them want to change? Or are these people doomed to follow the same patterns, and eventually drive everyone away, and self destruct? My father was a narcissist, and he did exactly that. What I mean is he drove everyone away with his actions, and then he ended his life alone in a convalescent hospital dying of alcoholism. He ended up dying alone. The shame about it is just before he died I was taking care of him and I loved him so much but he did everything to drive me away until I could take it no more. I don’t want to see the same thing happened to my son. Is there any bit of advice you can offer me to help My Son?
I knew something was wrong with my best friends mom. She was mean and not a a loving mom. One day a video popped up titled, “5 signs your mother is a narcissist” so I clicked it on and the first sign I thought hmm that seems like my boy friend then the second sign! Then I realized he had every sign. So I learned how to get away! The funny thing was grey rocking, I was already doing that without even knowing it was a thing. It took me a whole year no contact to finally get my physical health back because he sucked every nano of energy out of me! Fucking vampires!
I've realised my mother has these traits. My dad is passive and does everything to please her including building her a home, it wasn't enough, she needed weekends away. She complains often and seeks attention in any way shape of form. She triangulated her 4 children all our lives and we don't have relationships with each other, I believe due to her bad mouthing us to each other. Now, in my 40s, she inspects me everytime I see her and finds SOMETHING/ANYTHING to criticise, from head to toe. She WILL find something to make a negative comment about. It's exhausting and I've decided not to visit for a while. It's not you, it is THEM. Get your armour on and walk away.
@@nicolajirving wow that’s tough! How the hell are you supposed to walk away from your parents??? I guess only short visits with salt baths and meditation after!!!
My ex wife I caught her cheating on me and also told people I beat her and she used her little brother to take her from place to place I was under her control but my gut told me she was lying I admit what I did was wrong I recorded conversations she had with her little brother and found out that way they were literally talking about it in the living room as I was in our room and the walls are so thin I can hear things from the outside LOL the funny thing is she still can't admit to it even though I have the evidence LOL
My questions for you over affairs. 1 is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not. 2 are you really sure it affair without having no no sex 3 What another ways to have affair or cheat on someone without having no sex .x. 4 is it turth that Cheating doesn't always have to involve sex or even talking about sex 5.I have question can i have affair without having no sex
I don't think these comments are real comments. Like the vids but I think you should find real comments from ppl in your comment sectiond instead of these comments that sound like they come out of narcissism textbook
If you know you’re a …. Destructive narcissist.. have seen the error of your ways.. what do you do? Who do you talk to? Do you just stay silent and stay in your lane of life to avoid hurting others and yourself? Asking for myself..
Narcissists can absolutely get help if they want to (the problem for the rest of us is most don’t want to). Check out mental healness, nameless narcissist and raw motivations here on UA-cam. Their content is geared more towards people who have been hurt by narcissists, but they are self-aware narcissists and I think all in therapy 🤔 Also search Reddit and Quora for support groups so you can get advice and support from others who have been where you are right now. You’ve got this 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo thank you! been trying to openely talk more about this. seems like since social media/internet, america has been breeding narcs. first step is to acknowledge. denial is strong in most tho.
@@lazaruschrist6575anybody who loves narcissist trump is exposing themselves as a narcissist worshiper. Congrats on outing yourselves on a narcissist exposure UA-cam channel. You think you won but you really lost. Trump is laughing at you for being his fools. Buy yourselves a trophy, losers
And your profession is? A plumber’s arguments and insights on the subject are untrustworthy, because he/she lacks a proper education and practical knowledge regardless of their life experience. Personality disorders are much harder to analyze and understand than most people think. I think it’s important to state your profession at the beginning of your videos so that people can decide if you’re trustworthy and reliable to watch or not.
When I was doing a search and looking for answers, I thought it was a fearful avoidant thing, but when I was looking for “social chameleon” in a search engine, that’s when things started popping up and making a lot more sense. Split us up out of nowhere after six years together and me calling her out on something ONE time? Check. Isolated me and I brought it up as a possible concern three months before the split and she swept it under the rug? Check. Smearing my reputation? Check. Turned into someone unrecognizable? Check. Started dating a friend of ours after triangulating me with him possibly for years? Check. Going out of her way to tell the world how happy she is on social media? Check. Flaunting the new relationship she hid for a month on social media? Check. Was upset and claimed she did everything with integrity after revealing the relationship on social media and was losing friends and followers because of it? Check. Going on the trip with him that we wanted to go on for three years? And that I told her we could finally afford a month before she discarded me? Check. Told blatant lies to friends with no context, a lot of vagueness, and left it up to their interpretation? Check. I also heard through the grapevine from an old coworker of hers/ sister-in-law of a friend of mine that she was making accusations about me five months after I went full no contact. She claimed she was in a ‘violent situation’ and was wondering if she should get an order of protection. She knew it was a lie because I don’t even kill bugs. She said ‘all of my friends and family are saying to do it’. It’s very likely why I had certain friends just ghost me out of nowhere earlier this year. Well, the good news is I haven’t been served with any fraudulent documentation and accusations, but she planted that seed and it was enough to cause the damage she was looking for. I was getting ready to propose to her and look for houses with her, but I’ve dodged a cannonball for sure.
*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
Hello! Do you take Cigna?
It was the realisation that it wasn’t personal that helped me get over it. I cried for the loss of the relationship, and accepting that the relationship had never even been real anyway was kind of a double blow. But I’ve accepted it and moved on. I’m ok now, and just have to deal with ‘normal’ life dramas and issues - it’s such a relief.
There will NEVER be closure w/a narcissist. My final closure was when he passed away. He went mentally insane at the end when he knew he no longer had control over me. He still tried to destroy me but he failed. For my sanity and to move forward the best decision I made was/is therapy (going on 4 yrs now). Oh the gaslighting, lovebombing, trauma bonding, sexual exploitation but no physical sex (withheld as punishment) lied every time he opened his mouth and he was cheating on me for our entire marriage (10 yrs). You can not fight or argue with a narcissist, they will use anything/anyone against you (anything you ever trusted them with). No contact is really the best way to go and remove all mutual friends from social media, do not tell anyone where you live unless you want the narcissist and their family/friends to stalk you and report back. Take care of yourself, mentally and physically. It's not a 1 and done, moving forward is going to be difficult but you are stronger than you think. Be blessed and I'm so proud of you. You got this, 1 day, hour, minute, second at a time. You 1st everything else 2nd. Stay safe, strong and blessed
My first clue was deflection tactics in arguments - I could never get my wife to resolve even the smallest issue because she’d deflect and after 3 hours of argument we’d be talking about something completely different
Same here. It seems like 3 hours is a magical number for them. I already knew that it just didn't make any sense at all. We're laying out facts and/or trying to resolve the conflict with solutions, and here they are replaying their reality (which, in my case, I'd already validated) and shaming us the whole time...exhausting.
That’s actually called “word salad “
Sounds just like me and my CN wife!
💯
Omfg. Yup.
OMG you described my father exactly @3:41 😳He was always a charmer until he got older and no longer had his looks. You can only be so charming pushing around a walker with an oxygen tank 🫤
My ex has burned a lot of bridges. Numerous ex partners, business associates and the religious organization where we originally met. She’s moved multiple times.
When she started devaluing me, I told my best friend what she was doing to me and he told me “she sounds like a sociopath” (he’s been in a couple of toxic relationships himself). Thats what ultimately led me to the rabbit hole of researching narcissism, and unfortunately she fits the description of narcissism perfectly.
I stumbled across Rebecca Zung's videos on narcissism. The light came on, and I felt like I wasn't crazy after all when I heard another human being describe the behavior I had been dealing with. It was a beautiful realization! 😃❤🙏✌
Oooook, advertising another channel 😂 knowledge on this subject is crucial, however, have some tact!
She is racist and textboook to me
How I stumbled upon narcissism? Same way than you -and perhaps everyone: Noticing that something was fishy in my relationship and tried to figure out. After long hours of research from different sources, VOILA! everything fell into place...
Roughly 15 years ago on my lunch break I started googling my husband’s behavior. I was at a loss and felt like I was losing my mind. The term narcissist popped up and eureka! It described his tendencies, my in-laws behaviors, and the effects of the gaslighting I’d been subjected to for years. It’s been a long road but I’m finally content and free of the control and self doubt that had been heaped upon me by my spouse. Protect your soul and listen to your gut. You’re stronger than you realize and when the chips are down the fight in you will keep you grounded in the truth and reality of your circumstances, it will move you forward to a healthier tomorrow. You have to know that you have been the stronger one all along.
Same! I was confused and couldn't understand what was going on or why he was so mean to me for NO reason. I came upon the term narcissist and it was the same feeling - eureka! I was like, how did it take me 12 years to see this?? Because he was mostly fine until I confronted him on his lies, then it all changed. My in laws were the same - he would use them to triangulate - he would tell them lies about me, they would covertly abuse me, so I thought they were the problem.
@@Abe-rz1nm it’s total crazy making. At the very least we now know all the predictable behaviors to look out for and NOT react too. Wishing you peace and resilience.
When I told him he is a narcissist, his response was "you dont even know what it means" wow! He is on self destruct and blowing up everything in his path. He looks a mess, dependent on alcohol, taking new supply along a dark path (I predicted as much) but I did warn her. I am healing every day, my health is better, my life is better. Be kind to yourselves ❤
My experience with Narcissists is that they are good at first impressions, however most people usually catch on to them sooner or later. I agree that Narcissists often self destruct, they have trouble learning or improving, as they think they're perfect already. It ain't pretty what can happen to these people, and also old age and death are a insult to their grandiose self image!
Walking black hole. Excellent!
Your channel was the first answer I got for covert narcissism. You have no idea how much you helped me to get away from that situation! Thanks
I was recently diagnosed with Kidney cancer. When I came home and told my husband, he said, "I've already accepted your death. Death is a part of life". I didn't know what to do. I needed a shoulder and some empathy, instead, he told me that I was "going to just use my diagnosis of cancer, for sympathy." He told me I was weak.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a similar situation with my Ex it opened up my eyes to see things differently. I never knew people are like that. Hopefully you have found a support system
I hope and pray you get better soon!
Similar happened to me. i called my now-ex overt narcissist spouse and told him my father (whom I had been caring for) died. His exact words were, " You think you are the only one who ever lost a father?" Find other people whi care for you, because a narciissist cannot and never will.
Debbie this was painful to read, you are not weak, because you must have endured so much over the years with that man. His response lacked empathy and compassion for his wife- the very least you deserve.
I hope this isn't terminal, but you need to make yourself your priority- we only have one life, and these types cause so much darkness because they envy our inner light.
Please feed your light x
Be well, Debbie! The narcs have ZERO empathy … mine used to have a little towards me … last 2 years, zero empathy! I had to ask myself if I wanted to spend the last part of my life with a ‘mate’ who has no empathy and the answer was clear … we are starting the divorce proceedings.
I stumbled upon narcissism when Chris Watts killed his family. They said he was a narcissist and his personality was just like my husband!!! I went to a therapist. She validated my suspicion. I’m not living with him but he still tricks me into contact. We have a house to sell together and as far as he’s concerned it’s my problem. he’s the most manipulative person on the planet. 30 years of hell.
My big red flag came when he started blaming me for EVERYTHING. He had a problem with me having a part time job instead of staying home while he had been unemployed for 2 months. One day when I was supposed to work all day, I took off half the day so I could drop him off at an interview out of town, an hour away. I left work at noon and his interview was at 3pm. After picking me up, he first had to go home and prepare (which he should have been doing during the 3 hours I was at work) He drove to the city, and when we came across a traffic jam, he blamed me for being late to his interview. He then said that his sister is right and he just needs to put himself first before everybody else. Everything quickly started snapping into clear view after that.
I love your channel, always good information and advice, thank you! I had an experience almost ten years ago with a narcissist. At the time I had only recently come out of a pong tern relationship and was by myself. I worked away a lot so dating was tricky as I am not into one night stands. I got onto this dating site to try and meet someone nice. I ended up meeting this woman who seemed really into me and lived in my area. Looking back there were a number of red flags but love is blind as they say and I couldnt see them at the time. Classic love bombing in the beginning, sex on tap, then the games started, hot cold behaviour, silent treatment, gaslighting. I found out she had a history of using men to help pay the rent, and boy did ahe ruah me to move in with her against my better judgement. The worst part is when you discover the woman you fell in love with was just a construct and never really existed. The constant questions at the beginning suddenly made sense, they were renlentless). I would get around 30-40 texts a day too! Of course, once your 'usefulness' is over, they dump you without a second thought, its one if the most hurtful things to experience because you slowly realise you meant nothing to them, were merely a means to an end. I think for anyone who is going through this, my main advice would be realise it is not you, its them and don't believe their BS, because they project constantly. Stay strong and know there are better partners out there for you and you deserve someone better.🙏💪
It's important to realize they often become narcissists from trauma. They build their false self out of defense as children. Yes there are some who are that way from being placed on a pedestal but most often it's from trauma. That doesn't mean they can see themselves and change. It just may help people realize they are the way they are for a reason.
Doesn’t excuse abuse.
@@emmarae4322 never said it did.
I have always felt as though I was being the victim of narcs in previous relationships. In retrospect it seems I was at fault and burnt many bridges. I relate to this video very well and hopefully will try and make future relationships more meaningful. Not for me but for everyone else. Trying not to make every relationships transactional will be my main focus as a start. Thank you for the content.
I don't see my ex-narc self-destructing. In fact, he's managed to make all my "friends" (they obviously weren't. It still hurt, though, a lot) leave me and become his friends. They gave him a raise so I had to step down because I didn't want to be in the same field as his. And all this after all this friends knew we ended things and I said he didn't treat me right, nothing else, only that statement. To me, I've lost it all and he's at the top of the world. I'm alone and he's surrounded by "my friends". So, yeah, at this point I think he wins at life. Not that I would ever want to be like him, I rather die, but the unfairness of it all makes me so sad I just want to crawl under my sheets and never leave again.
I wish more of us had friends like mine. My friends cursed this individual out and called her out right away when she tried the whole triangulation angle. Prayers to you. No one deserves to be treated with unfairness and abuse.
@@johannbarker11 Thank you for being so kind and I'm glad that you have good friends that support you. Kudos to them for seeing the truth and being there for you. You've been through enough, you deserve that kind of friends 🤗
@@LetMeBeLighter I'm lucky /blessed. I've been surrounded by these great people for a long time; well before I got involved with these "relationships." Still though, I appreciate your reply and wish for you better tomorrow's 😊😊
Unfortyunately... That is the chorus Line to a lot of Songs and lives. For those that believe in Karma I have a long list of people whom fool most of the people most of the time and threaten & or disable those that know the truth AND are brave enough to voice their facts only to be hit by the truthful "No-one will believe you" anyway and a ruined reputation. Stupid people in large groups follow charming Narcists instinctively.
"It ain't over till it's over "- Casey Stengel. That he looks atop the world is an illusion. So he has the talent for conning the masses- so do dirty politicians. There might have not have been one rock solid, true friend in a bunch that could be easily swayed. "The loser now, will be later to win"- Bob Dylan
Right now, that "you know" and will stand solid with yourself is the only thing that matters in the entire world. The best to you!
It started with me searching being stalked and harassed. Then I stumbled across targeted individuals, which then led me to finding narcissism and now I'm exposing and healing.
Same thing happen to me plus scapegoat.
I googled “husband always criticizes me”
I had to google "why does my wife complain about my 'tone'?" Then my eyes got opened.
For me? It was Kati Morton's video, where I learned that for people who've suffered emotional abuse, the concept of someone being kind and loving may be foreign and scary. That was what sold me: ALL my relationships that failed were with people who treated me kindly, and the only reason for that was that I'd experienced emotional abuse. A bit more searching via the Narcissist Family Files and I found that I have a covert narcissistic father.
Watched Dr Ramani video narcissism explained. As i was watching it was like waking up out of the matrix. Everything she talked about hit the nail on the head. Then started learning about narcissism and went NC
I discovered the narcissistic connection with my ex when I looked into "silent stalking". After the breakup, she kept creeping my social media, so I actually put out an olive branch saying if she wanted to talk I would hear her out. No reply. Yet, the stalking continued. That was odd, so in researching that I learned about covert narcissism and so many things -- past and present -- suddenly made sense.
That's not enough to qualify that someone is a narc.
Your extemely informative videos & soothing voice keep me sane.
Thank you 🙏
Spot on! Thank you Christina. ❤
Im in the stage of wow....i step back and watch 😂geez
Grab your shovel...love that 💯
I stumbled across narcissism due to reviewing videos on husbands watching porn behind their wives backs. My husband has been doing it for 42 years. I’ve been with him for 25 years. I now learned that he is a covert narcissist. I enjoy watching your videos. keep them excellent work.
My narc brother once said to me “I’m a sociopath, I don’t have feelings.” When he said this, I looked it up and that was how I came across narcissism. He knows something is wrong with him but he doesn’t care to fix it. It’s crazy watching him because he hurts those around him, then when he gets called on his poor behaviour, he rages (clearly he has that “feeling”),then acts like it was our fault he can’t self regulate. If you knew you were a “sociopath” why would you tell someone? I was already on guard around him, after that comment it increased 100 fold. I found the entire thing deeply disturbing. He would also tell me that he would be patient waiting to get revenge on people so when they least expected it he would retaliate, even if it “hurt him” in the process. These were his exact words. Why an earth would I want to be around someone like that??? I knew “sister status” wouldn’t mean one darn thing if I did something he considered a threat toward himself.
It's like they deliberately self sabotage everytime they start believing they have something good in their life. The accusations are extremely hard to understand or deal with. The paranoia they throw at you is really sad to witness. The lack of accountability is also hard to fathom. The minute you think you've nailed it and found the "one" it goes to 💩such a shame cause I do believe there's beauty in there. They know it, we know it. They show it, realise and then press the self destruction button.
How do I break the cycle I am causing!? I don't want to be this way
Great video. They will stop at nothing to draw the attention. The real thing is watching a UA-cam channel you know is a narcissist. My god some of the stuff. They just can’t help themselves. It’s almost like to be on UA-cam they need a screener. But they won’t listen to the screener anyway and still pay them lol.
Your talks are great. Loving them.
I am doing no contact. I feel alittle badly for her but I'm mostly okay.
You feel a little badly?
Ghost them with extreme prejudice. Never go back. No contact. Trust me. There has never been a narc who “go better” or “conquered their disorder”.
Same. My narc treated me so bad and cheated and discarded. But her life fell apart after that, she went off the rails doing drugs and self harming. Her family even turned their back on her after what she did to me, they all saw. I feel bad for her sometimes too and I wish I couldn't. I like that Karma got her but I'm still feeling that empathy on a human level.
This video word for word. AGAIN WORD FOR WORD IS TRUTH
With friends, they will scam them or take advantage of them.....They will also end up feeling conned in that they were played....
My narcissistic mom lost all her life fighting her husband
Now she lost me in her old age fighting with me
This was helpful. Thank you
Great vid as always. I didn't find the link to closure video in description & had to watch vid again to find it. Not sure if I'm missing something.
Thanks! UA-cam puts the links from the video cards (that pop up during the video) at the bottom of the description now, so I haven't been adding them to the description manually. It's actually below the written description and below my channel name, so maybe down a bit further than you might expect.
My ex gf of 8 months has been seeing an old American guy. He came to see her in France recently but she started sending me texts again while he was there. Secretly sending me pictures and videos. She told me he was boring and couldn’t wait for him to leave. She was love bombing me again and then yesterday she did a complete 360 on me saying she wanted to be single and has blocked me again. Mind is totally blown. These people are on a different planet!
Great content!
I remember her menu pathological lying and it was a long time ago but I remember cuz I thought wow that is interesting also since I’m a doctor so even so. Well safe to say one thing led to another and then I realised how it was all so pathological and then I came across narcissism and then everything made sense I read people very well now and all good
What about the narcissists that manage to keep long term connections and have successful careers? I feel I’m the one who has jumped from job to job and place to place.. but always trying to escape one narcissist or another.. yet people might see that as suspicious..
A business relationship is not the same as a romantic or family relationship. We reward lots of behavior in business that doesn't work in other areas of life. Narcissists can close the deal, obviously, in multiple areas, but they expend little energy in maintenance. Once the deal in business has been made, how much does it really take to keep it going? It's not like at home, where you are expected to interact with the same people IRL on a daily basis. 🤔
@dawnkikong637 Thank you for your replies! Definitely interested in your experience.
I’ve done both - stuck it out.. massively detrimental to my health, but proved to myself I’m not ‘weak’..
I’ve also left, because life is too short. Now I would recommend the latter every time.
For me the REAL problem was that I bought into what is in fact narcissistic narratives - where they define every healthy normal reaction to their type of behaviours as weakness. Essentially invalidation and gaslighting.
Now I realise how much abuse I’ve experienced - I no longer buy into all that BS, it kept me in many toxic work positions, as I was primed to see myself as the problem not them and the toxic workplace environments they create.
@cc1k435 True but businesses value their reputation. However many businesses appear and disappear, reform under another name and are totally driven by providing rewards for shareholders, so in that scenario there’s no downside for them to having really toxic individuals who deliver short term results.
@annastone5624 Big businesses these days are the epitome of narcissism. Unlimited growth is a myth, but they still pursue it at the cost of workers and the public.
Most every company is run by one. Especially small businesses
He left house saying that I was crazy and driving his life mad by jealousy. He went to his sister home and even said that to her and kept seeing his lover, thought. With freedom once he lied he was divorced.
Thanks Christina spot on ❤
Hello beautiful Christina! 🙏😉😍♥️
During conflicts they would run away from problems
So true. They RUN, and blame everyone else. Childish. Usually the one closest to them gets the blame.
Great information
I love the "walking black hole" analogy, spot on. Also they are leeches.
Hey ladies, before you throw that ex under the bus here (which seems to be the trend)... keep in mind:
Narcissists always deny any responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior. To achieve this they use inherently use denial, delusion, gaslighting, minimization, deflection, blaming the victim, and playing the victim.
Exaggerated victimhood is a textbook feature of narcissistic grandiosity. Narcissists play the victim to garner sympathy and avoid responsibility for their abusive behavior.
Recent studies show that many female narcissists dress in sexually provocative ways-revealing clothing and/or wearing a lot of makeup. Many use sexual seduction to manipulate or financially exploit others.
Spot on
I dated a few overt narcs and I knew what to look for The covert narcs have a more subtle way of slithering into your life. When I first met my EX gf she talked about sex with her past lovers like normal conversation. Little did I know she was enticing me to get in between her legs. At first I ignored the talk but later thought how it was odd behavior especially when I barely knew her. Later I saw how she used the same tactic around other men she didn't know as well. It makes me mad knowing that conversation is meant for couples who are sleeping with each other, and any other sexual talk with a stranger is unexceptable.
Wow - translate their actions into words!!! What a brilliant idea. Definitely going to watch that video..
Oh sorry just looking for it, which video is that?
@@annastone5624This point is at the 4:00 mark in this video.
@@carrotstick1970 yes she refers to the video at that point, but doesn't say where the video is. So I'm looking for a link to the video if I can get it 😀
I first learned my wife is narcissistic after I heard her tell her former best freind's mom that her former best freind (the daughter) is a narcissist. Later I heard my wife and her boyfreind talking when he says "we are both narcissists."
It all has made sense since then.
But I know narcissists that have the same group of friends and the same job for a long time and a relationship/marriage for a long time so they seem to get away with it
My experience with my narc ex was that she didn’t have any real friends. She had people she used for different things but no one that was just a friend. If they couldn’t provide her with whatever she wanted she would dump them.
@@davidmckay4423 yes I had a friend like that. So I know this is real but some people seem to be dancing around getting caught. See that in church a lot also.
I don't see them suffering any consequences because they simply don't care! None of these consequences bother them, they simply deflect and carry on with their evil deeds!
@@ellie_j. yes exactly well said
@@davidmckay4423yeah and I used to feel sorry for their isolation for years!
In case it isn't apparent, exposing the narcissist could be you simply asking the question "why?..." Why are we fighting right now?... Why did you see fit to think that I am feeling sad when I have already told you I'm ok?... I know from my own experience that I sincerely did not see the sense in fighting someone that I'm in love with and sincerely wanted to know where their feelings were coming from in order to resolve the senseless conflict. Apparently, these seemingly harmless questions may have exposed a deeper truth that would hurt them more; asking resulted in an exacerbation of the already existing conflict.
I said/did something similar. My CN just doesn’t talk when my feelings come up …
@@Hookhackle yeah I've heard about this aspect of the also. In my case they raged out or did more things to continue the argument (word salad being a particular feature). At the end of the day they think taking accountability is harder than deflecting/avoiding 🤣🤣
I struggle with self destructing. I also struggle with feeling and showing empathy. It's destroying my marriage, and I don't want to be this way. Am I a narcissist, or would it most likely be something else because I know I am causing issues in my relationship and I want to change, I'm just failing all the time. I'm trying to figure out how to fix me. Do narcissists have periods of self awareness like me, or should I be looking towards different type of support
Psalms 136:18
And slew famous kings: for his mercy endureth for ever:
Hi Christina can you please do a video for me. Me and my narc are going through a divorce. I had to move to another city because he was so aggressive. He's a malignant narcissist. Very very abusive to me but not our kids.when I left i couldn't bring them because I was homeless. Now that it's been years of no contact mode and him holding our kids from me, im strong enough to face him and save my kids! Please help
Also, when I went no contact, it hurt because I missed my kids, but I REALLY WENT NO CONTACT! it was the hardest thing I've ever done, still doing..how do you move forward?
for a narcissist, the only time that matters is the present, and the only goal is control and manipulation of others , as a means of getting anything that they need. no price is too high for that, including relationships with people who are abusive in any imaginable way. they gave away their personal boundaries in order to take yours away from you.
I found out when I googled silent treatment.
I got rid of my narcissistic
_Wishing you well (O_0)_
My mother 3 heart attacks, breast cancer and now liver cancer
There is karma!
My mother my whole life was a pathological klepto liar who couldn't stop cheating on my dad. He died. She didn't change her ways. I left. Years later the term gaslight came across my screen. I then started searching for what a human parasite is, a real life vampire..... one who SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF ANYONE AND ANYTHING..... enter narcissist 😂
Pepople with cPTSD also switch off emotionallyp.
Also DA's.
My ex had botph.
These videpos neepd to account for outlieprs.
Yah no closure and they will turn their wrong doing to you kill your reputation to others GOSH!
I saw a facebook messenger message from her "former" bf. She was 47 and he was her bf in high school.
After a little digging i discovered miney missing. That was the beginning of the end.....
Ok. Buckle up for this story. My narcs mom died. He had been estranged from her for many years. One he got a call from the corner in California. He lives in Belgium so we had to fly to California to give a DNA test to identify her body. She had died inside her trailer along with 15 or 20 cats. No one discover her body for two months, so there was nothing left. they rescued those 20 animals. And here’s the very disgusting part. Her cats were trapped inside the trailer with her for two months. And they began to eat her. I know this is rough. So he didn’t want anything to do with the financial responsibility so he got a lawyer. Her landlord tried to sue for damages and clean up of her trailer. He told me during a discussion with the coroner, he actually had a laugh, siting that it was much like a Monty Python sketch. SUCH horrific detachment!!! Bizarre beyond belief. He buried where I went back to his life as normal. He said to me “yeah I miss her but it’s all over now.”.
Today, this is the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life and hope to never hear anything like this ever again.
One is driving by myself. I know he's not going to hurt me but do I need to pretend to like them to make the drive-bys stop?
After years of marriage i notice my wife is Narcissistic, after heart atack she didn't call ambulance, and when confronted here she was raging at me, that i dear to talk abut it with my parents coz i Puting her in bad position, i was spechless zero sympaty, intold here you basically left me to die, i aoke up with my bed with my sons with out her in bed, i tottaly start ignoring here, and now she started going for girls night out, im loughing
Could it be that a narcissist can also think more in the long run sense? Would that make them more psychopathic than anything?
Leaving my abuser right now. On the verge of no contact. Been doing damage control for 8 years straight. The only thing that has delayed is my dedication to the step kids that I raised by myself pretty much. But I just can't anymore. My brain is breaking and I have to take care of my mom. My abuser seriously provoked my 68 yo mom into a physical altercation and blamed my mom. I called 911 and they blamed my mom, which is insane and hilarious if you know my mom. Please god..I don't wish bad on her. But it would be so satisfying and helpful, if I could see the crash and lesson learned. I'm so scared for my step kids, mom, and myself. Desperation for a narcissist is a scary thing.
Wow! Your ex sure chose the wrong person to lie to. The Narcs? It's that "off-ness" that they cannot answer the simple question: "Do you think it's OK and admirable if someone treated you like dirt, conned you, etc.?" Their depth of reply would be: "Nah, it'll never happen to me." Let them truck on in their robotic world. It needn't be Karma, it will be when it all comes crashing down in many other ways.
The little old man narcissist down the street shows his dominance by pacing up n down in front of neighbors homes with a metal pipe, we leave him alone😊
I knew that something was wrong with her at first glance. She was too perfect.
Carefully watching her I deduced that she was too nervous around me.
Not talking too much, not revealing any additional information. Blocking me with "I have a boyfriend".
But still, she went out to party and sleep around.
After a while, she asked me, and we went out, but I couldn't understand what she wanted.
Started to blame me for unknown reasons.
So, I ended it on the spot. It was easy and controlled.
Coz I solve this happening before I get involved with her. In my head, like many solutions.
Later I wondered why she acted like that, almost like my father and sister, and now mum.
They have got a problem with me.
So, reading a lot I came to the conclusion Im INFJ, and they are pissed off at me.
With narcissistic tendencies, my dad and her got NPD.
I'm afraid for my sister, Mum just adapted to my dad's conduct.
God gave me the option to dial down empathy as I like it, so I just observe them.
I will fight back with all knowledge about NPD, and strike where it hurts. Like better NPD than them. I just feel stressed to do my acting right. To give that 110%.
They are not getting better, only worse. There is no help.
After growing up with a mother that stated that children don't need love ? And the bonus round was an antisocial brother I looked up to for 20 years until his jealousy and hate became truly apparent. After studying this behaviour science I found myself a Narcicist neighbor I used to work with.He is a haggard looking 80 year old afraid of GOD and a walker of 20,000 steps a day to fight off age and vulnerability.So, since I started walking for my overall health but I only go 30 minutes so I use my time wisely.I could listen to music but I find it much more entertaining to walk with Jackass when he asks me.I love bombed him at first and now I make him ask to go get in tthe rest of his 20,000 steps.All through the walk I spout out ideads, theories and brag about my wealth and marriage , my improving health with ONLY 30 minutes a day.Some days I crawl inside of him and judge him, critisize his mistakes, make him doubtful and sullen.
I'm so grateful to have a subject like Jack to get me good exercise and teach me things while I prode and poke around in the casket.
Why is this mainly men. My ex is a woman and I think she might have aspd. She is making my children's and my life hell
the 15 years of close friendship was an interesting comment. Can a narcissist be a close friend for so long?? or is this only to doormats?
Just recently got out of a relationship. And just recently opened all my eyes to all of this stuff. Just need some help making sure that all of this stuff is true. She wanted me to change everything about me. And when I didn't change something. She nagged me about it, and then she put more stuff on top of it, She never took fault in anything. She always put the blame back on me just trying to figure out if all of this stuff is narcissist and I know she was gas lighting. Me was in this relationship for 4 years. She ended it when I decided that I was going to move out and be on my own. We have a little girl together. And now she's trying to take her from me and control the whole situation.
So if someone can help me determine if she was a narcissist. Thanks
My EX was the same way. She slowly criticised the clothes I wore and the music I listened to. She would degrade my hobbies and interests when I chose NOT to marry her. She went so far to criticise how I grew up as a child and how my parents shouldn't had 4 children because that's too many to disperse attention and care.
This gives me a different kind of view on Dexter
The drugs the Pills and the achool
You talk about how narcissist lie. Well, my son is a narcissist, and yet he claims he never lives, but I always catch him in lies. I’d really like to know if there’s anything that anyone else can do to help a narcissist change? Or is there anything in their lives that has to happen to make them want to change? Or are these people doomed to follow the same patterns, and eventually drive everyone away, and self destruct?
My father was a narcissist, and he did exactly that. What I mean is he drove everyone away with his actions, and then he ended his life alone in a convalescent hospital dying of alcoholism. He ended up dying alone. The shame about it is just before he died I was taking care of him and I loved him so much but he did everything to drive me away until I could take it no more. I don’t want to see the same thing happened to my son. Is there any bit of advice you can offer me to help My Son?
I knew something was wrong with my best friends mom. She was mean and not a a loving mom. One day a video popped up titled, “5 signs your mother is a narcissist” so I clicked it on and the first sign I thought hmm that seems like my boy friend then the second sign! Then I realized he had every sign. So I learned how to get away! The funny thing was grey rocking, I was already doing that without even knowing it was a thing. It took me a whole year no contact to finally get my physical health back because he sucked every nano of energy out of me! Fucking vampires!
I've realised my mother has these traits. My dad is passive and does everything to please her including building her a home, it wasn't enough, she needed weekends away. She complains often and seeks attention in any way shape of form. She triangulated her 4 children all our lives and we don't have relationships with each other, I believe due to her bad mouthing us to each other. Now, in my 40s, she inspects me everytime I see her and finds SOMETHING/ANYTHING to criticise, from head to toe. She WILL find something to make a negative comment about. It's exhausting and I've decided not to visit for a while. It's not you, it is THEM. Get your armour on and walk away.
@@nicolajirving wow that’s tough! How the hell are you supposed to walk away from your parents??? I guess only short visits with salt baths and meditation after!!!
You can't get in trouble if you can't get started
💯💗
Narcs are a no win entity😉
I searched Jeckle and Hyde behavior! Bang narcissism! Good riddance!
My ex wife I caught her cheating on me and also told people I beat her and she used her little brother to take her from place to place I was under her control but my gut told me she was lying I admit what I did was wrong I recorded conversations she had with her little brother and found out that way they were literally talking about it in the living room as I was in our room and the walls are so thin I can hear things from the outside LOL the funny thing is she still can't admit to it even though I have the evidence LOL
My questions for you over affairs.
1 is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not.
2 are you really sure it affair without having no no sex
3 What another ways to have affair or cheat on someone without having no sex .x.
4 is it turth that Cheating doesn't always have to involve sex or even talking about sex
5.I have question can i have affair without having no sex
I don't think these comments are real comments. Like the vids but I think you should find real comments from ppl in your comment sectiond instead of these comments that sound like they come out of narcissism textbook
If you know you’re a …. Destructive narcissist.. have seen the error of your ways.. what do you do? Who do you talk to? Do you just stay silent and stay in your lane of life to avoid hurting others and yourself? Asking for myself..
Narcissists can absolutely get help if they want to (the problem for the rest of us is most don’t want to). Check out mental healness, nameless narcissist and raw motivations here on UA-cam. Their content is geared more towards people who have been hurt by narcissists, but they are self-aware narcissists and I think all in therapy 🤔
Also search Reddit and Quora for support groups so you can get advice and support from others who have been where you are right now. You’ve got this 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo thank you! been trying to openely talk more about this. seems like since social media/internet, america has been breeding narcs. first step is to acknowledge. denial is strong in most tho.
Technically that dude was not wrong. It actually is beneath him. Haha. Seriously though. That’s pretty bad.
You volume is quite low. Some channels are like that.
develop substantive choice republic
This describes my now to be EX Wife!
Can we talk about how Narcissism relates to patriarchy
Don't let us stop you.
@@mrsherwood2599 are you triggered coz you know patraichy causes Narcissism and psychopathy
Good points. True. 23 years to get away from my ‘Donald Trump’. Not easy.
Best president in history of USA
Your talking about BIDEN unless your a f in fool
You mean your joe Biden
@@lazaruschrist6575anybody who loves narcissist trump is exposing themselves as a narcissist worshiper. Congrats on outing yourselves on a narcissist exposure UA-cam channel. You think you won but you really lost. Trump is laughing at you for being his fools. Buy yourselves a trophy, losers
Trump has excellent relationships with his children and staff
And your profession is? A plumber’s arguments and insights on the subject are untrustworthy, because he/she lacks a proper education and practical knowledge regardless of their life experience. Personality disorders are much harder to analyze and understand than most people think. I think it’s important to state your profession at the beginning of your videos so that people can decide if you’re trustworthy and reliable to watch or not.
What's your profession?
She’s a survivor. I’d rather here from us then a therapist. You are probably a narcissist that doesn’t like being called out.😂
When I was doing a search and looking for answers, I thought it was a fearful avoidant thing, but when I was looking for “social chameleon” in a search engine, that’s when things started popping up and making a lot more sense. Split us up out of nowhere after six years together and me calling her out on something ONE time? Check. Isolated me and I brought it up as a possible concern three months before the split and she swept it under the rug? Check. Smearing my reputation? Check. Turned into someone unrecognizable? Check. Started dating a friend of ours after triangulating me with him possibly for years? Check. Going out of her way to tell the world how happy she is on social media? Check. Flaunting the new relationship she hid for a month on social media? Check. Was upset and claimed she did everything with integrity after revealing the relationship on social media and was losing friends and followers because of it? Check. Going on the trip with him that we wanted to go on for three years? And that I told her we could finally afford a month before she discarded me? Check. Told blatant lies to friends with no context, a lot of vagueness, and left it up to their interpretation? Check.
I also heard through the grapevine from an old coworker of hers/ sister-in-law of a friend of mine that she was making accusations about me five months after I went full no contact. She claimed she was in a ‘violent situation’ and was wondering if she should get an order of protection. She knew it was a lie because I don’t even kill bugs. She said ‘all of my friends and family are saying to do it’. It’s very likely why I had certain friends just ghost me out of nowhere earlier this year. Well, the good news is I haven’t been served with any fraudulent documentation and accusations, but she planted that seed and it was enough to cause the damage she was looking for.
I was getting ready to propose to her and look for houses with her, but I’ve dodged a cannonball for sure.