No Contact: Important Way to Ease Agony and Increase Odds | Coach Ken
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2023
- To book a private coaching call with Coach Ken:
realcoachken.com/ . Remembering the negative aspects of a previous relationship is an often neglected or unknown vital factor in making No Contact actually work. It's always tempting to focus on only the positive memories, acknowledging the negative aspects provides valuable insights and lessons that shape our understanding of healthy relationships. It also helps us regain a sense of self worth while lessening the feeling that tells us who we just lost is irreplaceable. It locks us into thinking we're the loser and they're the lucky one. None of which makes it easier to project confidence and the resilience needed to trigger a sense of loss of need to re-examine the end of the relationship in the one who walked away. Seeing the negative also helps us to establish healthier boundaries, recognize red flags, and make wiser choices in our subsequent relationships. Remembering the negatives acts as a powerful reminder of our own worth, ensuring that we do not settle for less than we deserve. Additionally, it empowers us to learn from past mistakes, foster personal growth, and cultivate resilience, ultimately leading to more fulfilling and sustainable relationships in the long run.
New site is now at realcoachken.com if I can be of any help
He must have laughing at me
I want me back now
Not him
He watched me died
Until Jehovah God brought me to my senses
I am in no contact. Not because I want her back. But because I want me back. I know she doesnt want me back. These videos helps me cope with the pain. Thank you
Hang in there bro
@@mikeypiezzoI will see this through. Thank you brother. 🤝
Your legend and trust me you will never be same again 🎉
Very well said. I wish you the best. However, the idea is that no contact might make your ex want to come back, so that's something to think about, if you want it. Good luck. Sincerely.
@@Mileys_choice ❤️
Listen to this guy over and over again if your going over a break up. Best advice out their so far.
Honestly, there's a lot of rubbish online today when it comes to relationships, but man, Coach Ken, you're beacon of realism, kindness and sensitivity - bundled in really thoughtful package. Thank you for all you do!
Thanks for the kind words Declan!
I agree. Some actually quite creepy and I don’t know why that helps with the business plan. After listening to this one a few times I went thru my list and deleted 3-5. I love the facts here and not just saying “she will Hoover”. You explained why.
Do a long distance relationship NC video.
it was worst 35 years ago in 1988 the hurting man was treated like a predator or was told to make it work at all costs which often brought destruction to the man. they also used religion to tell men the bible tells them to do this or do that. things were way worse before the information age.
The worship isn't a bad thing, unless it's true, that the person has values empathy and is like a source of inspiration for the partner, or family members.
For example may have the talent to say interesting things in a poetic way as musicians do or authors, and poets do.
which boosts the imagination of people in a positive way, like seeing good stuff about life or about art etc.
But maybe the best way is to show empathy as well and good energy and gratitude in modest way.
I was on day 32, but I just broke no contact. I found out that the woman I love’s mom just died. I reached out with a message of sympathy. I get what C. Lee and Ken are saying about NC, but I had to express myself and acknowledge her pain and sorrow over losing her mom. It’s not about me at all in that moment, at least that’s how i see it. 😢
Great! You are right! Nice hearth!
Good for you. It’s okay to break no-contact when it comes to those sort of things.
@@zandercook1494 …thank you, friend!
Any new updates?
If she doesn't take you back after that gesture, than she doesn't deserve you
She called after more than 9 months of no contact! To ask some lame question about a vitamin supplement! Lol
I was courteous and friendly although I don’t feel the same as when the breakup first happened!
When you stay present in your world working on yourself, it can travel and be perceived as strength, they can sense it!
Amen - it's a real thing!
This is exactly what I’m going through right now and the pain is unbearable. I can’t move and my heart literally hurts so bad I thought I was dying. I can’t stop thinking about her and I found out she moved on so fast I’m not even an afterthought.. i pray to god every day to help me through this and I don’t wish this on anyone. I was so happy and healthy before I met her and I just want myself back but I’m so broken.
How did you know she is with someone else?😢
Feeling the same here bro keep praying and I pray for you to heal.
Meet some new people and hopefully they will divert your attention.
I know exactly what you going through. It’s the toughest time ever, but you will get through. Time will heal your heart.
I totally understand the place you were in and I’m I’m there now and been in no contact for 10 weeks and it’s honestly killing me and I’m in a permenant state of despair😢
Although I still want her back she also destroyed me quietly and affected my mental health.
I hope you are in a better place now though and have found a happier place
Have made the, "put on a pedestal/worship" mistake twice in my adult life; never even got to relationship stage and still ended up heart broken. Am disabled, so I think that's what set me up for this mistake. Dark limerence is a real thing. Truly, NO ONE is perfect!
Amen! Funny thing is one powerful aspect of attraction is KNOWING you have a purpose and meaning beyond that other person. We're built for relationships, so it is normal to feel a sense of something missing when we aren't with someone sharing our lives (unless pain, fear or narcissism makes us WANT to be alone) - but being wired for relationship doesn't mean that ONE person can or should be our foundational source of purpose. Something more worthy of our lives has to be there. A Passion or Purpose or a Calling that's even greater than who we are is the best foundation. I love my wife very very much. I love my kids and my parents and my sister and my brother with all my heart - BUT none of them are the PURPOSE of my life - I believe in God and from long personal and even painful experience I've learned if I put me or anything above Him it always breaks in the end. No human being is capable of being the purpose of another human beings life - that's worship, and as flattering as it might sound, being worshipped isn't an attraction builder as much as its an ego stroke to the person who will then devalue you for placing them so high above you. (Sorry if I rambled a bit here)
@@CoachKen no need to apologize for rambling, needed to be reminded of all of this. Hard to zero in on what your purpose is when you have significant mobility issues, but obviously, I know I have a purpose (maybe more than one:) So easy to forget what your spiritual foundation is when you get caught up in your emotions. I think I might be one of those people you mentioned who are above average in intelligence (intellectually), but lack emotional intelligence. I tend to think in extremes in EI, if that makes sense. Not everything is EITHER/OR. There can be a lot of GRAY areas when it comes to sorting out feelings. Thanks again for your wisdom!
Yes I have put her on a pedestal, and actually she broke up with me for reasons I have never heard her communicate during the relationship, just random things like "you are not a leader to me". I think she has BPD , but still I loved her so deeply anyway, I swear everytime I see her there's an artery in my heart that shakes. I have put her on a pedestal for too long, and All i got from her is disrespect and a total negligence of my feelings. Imagine that she found someone else so quickly, I wanted closure so I told her to come visit me in my house, and I was thinking maybe I can change her mind, but she informs me that she's with someone else and it was 2 days after my breakup. She ended things with me said she's sorry but doesn't see a future. After our breakup conversation, she slept in the room next to me and called her new boyfriend in my own house. The next day, I kicked her out of my house, and I told her that she shouldn't have come if she's with someone else that quickly. I was shocked and hurt, her total disregard for what I felt for her was shocking
Its crazy how i am reading all these comments from you guys who are hurting right now.
I was the same! I went though a long 2 years of constant pain! A messy and very prolonged detachment process.
I can tell you all right now, you will get over it, in time!
And if your ex did you wrong! I promise, they always end up worse off.
I dont say that to wish any harm on your person, it happemd to my ex and now i just hope shes ok.
As it stands, i have zero attraction for her now, and thats crazy because she ruled my mind for so long.
Stay up! You have to go through this pain right now. Its necessary.
Wow it’s amazing how you say they’re not better off , my son father left me when my son was 1 years old and I was so hurt he got married right after the worse pain ever for years I was hurting until I hurt no more. Now his wife send him a divorce papers and now he wants to come back to me HELL NO!!!! I have zero feelings now and I can’t even believe it now am just praying for him that’s it nothing more nothing less Karma is real karma knows everybody addresses once your heart is pure
Dude I'm glad I found this video. My ex and I broke up over her shit testing me and I got fed up, so she ended it 3 months ago. I chased her until I invited her to a concert and she told me that she was gonna be out of town. The very next day, she was at work . I felt like a damn fool and went NC and made this list of things that she did to annoy me. I'm feeling a lot better about myself and stopped beating myself up. Walking away is the best start to healing.
I was with her for 5 years.
She left over a year ago and while ive been on self improvement and made significant progress financially and physically...im still in this dark stage.....over a year ago.
You are a human being
Hang in there brother. Work on you!
@@user-hk3el6wq9r some days are easier than others, I've been grinding like hell, Thanks my guy.
Update
After 5 months into the relationship,she left me cuz she holds grudges and she said that we’re incompatible which doesn’t make sense, it’s about respecting each other’s differences. Right now I’m going no contact to heal wish me luck people
I'm in the same situation man. Been 7 days now. It's getting easier.
How are you holding up mate
Wow, exactly the same with me since end of July. Suddenly incompatible, she just wants to be good friends some time. I'm strong in NC. Good luck 2u2!
I just got broken up with after 5 months too. We knew about eachothers pasts and I did so much to respect her past and her issues. I have some issues as well and sometimes like to check in to make sure nothing is wrong when I tend to over think. Well I asked if anything was wrong and it blew up. She ended it then and there. She said we were not a match. Which made no sense. Any time we were physically together, even multiple days in a row, there was NO ISSUES. Nothing, not even a tiny disagreement. We got along so damn well and felt so happy. Then poof. It was like I was less than nothing. She went NC with me last week. I am sure I have lost any chance of getting her to come around. But I am just going to have to force myself to stay NC as well. This is rough.
I’ll always care about her and I actually wish her the very best in life but I wish me the very best in life also. I’m grateful for the lessons and the time I’ve had alone to self reflect. I’m better today than I was yesterday.
It’s been months of no contact after he kicked me out. But now looking into applying for mortgages which I’ve gotten approved for and just waiting on God to open doors.
I really believe that me and my wife are in a spiritual purification and when you said worship…my mouth dropped. God wants me to worship him and love her. Made so much sense to me thank you
Thanks Big Dog - Happy for you and your wife. Praying for you both! Been there - it does get better!
Not here to win my ex back. He wants me back and I know I could easily get him back but I don't want the relationship anymore. I'm actually here to not give in to that grief and withdrawal. I don't want an addiction to this person to cause me to settle for a relationship I don't want. Your channel is very helpful. Thank you
Thanks Slim! Much appreciated
From a man who's been through a massive painful divorce and a couple of break ups this video is bang on the money , and I actually feel like I am normal and they weren't special. My pain is on me and for me to deal with. NC protect yourselves at all times.
He ended our relationship 6 weeks ago. I've been in NC. Dated 14 months. Had a great relationship. Things did become routine. Looking back now, I see he pocketed me. The only people on his side that knew about me was his mother. We did not have any arguments or bad blood between us. I'm angry because I was giving so much to the relationship and I see he was not. I was never needy or clingy. He had his life and I had mine. He knew how hurt I was about how a precious ex ended our relationship and ended our the same way and makes me so angry. Some days it take everything to keep from calling him and telling him off. If anyone should have lost attraction, it should have been me. Somehow, I still miss him. Either way, I know to stay in NC. I know going off on him will only be temporary relief.
Do you know why he broke up? Definitely stay NC and live your best life!
So so true. Right on
I especially resonated when he said that you know if you really move on you will never take him back. But you aren’t ready for that, so you hold on. For a while. That’s where I’m at right now. But the more I look at what really happened between us, the more I realize I really don’t want more of that
It's really hard to want someone back when they spend a lot of their time pissing on your boots trying to make you think it's raining.
when you "move on" you reached the point where you know this person is dragging you down and demoralizing you and has no concern for you. at that point you know this person needs to be out of your life completely. i disagree with the idea once you move on you can make a choice to bring this person back into your life or not as they have already proven to not be good for you.
You did good by becoming a coach . You are balm for the soul . You really make me understand and come to my senses and be strong, patient , even feel really good and free. Thank you❤
You 100% described me. I have high anxiety and possible adhd I have the worst case of dark limerance. I fall into baddddd anxiety 😢. It takes me a long time to fall out of this.
Yes - def does
I understand - wired the same way. It can feel unbearable - even overwhelming. Don't trust that feeling
Admit the truth about that person to yourself. It will set you free if you keep admitting the truth about the person & if you really think of it, you probably didn’t like many IMPORTANT, things about the person… pros and cons list, admit the truth to yourself & remember, it’s not you. You are worthy to a prism who is worthy of you.
Bro just get a new chick
@@corydavis5636 ????
I’ve watched hundreds of videos on the relationship/no contact subject, and I can tell you with all certainty, coach Ken is one of the best, if not the best. He delivers precise information with deep knowledge. I’m grateful for your work coach. Saving lives I can tell you.
Thanks
Wow - thank you for the very kind words and encouragement! Sincerely means a lot!
I don't want this person who caused me so pain
I lost my Erin...6 months ago. The breakup happened 8 weeks ago...she was into a rebound relationship the day she dumped me. Need to tell you...she made the decision but didn't tell me straight away. I found her and him in my bed...
I have been idolising her...this video has made me realise that...I still have a lot of challenges ahead...but thank you for what's left of my dignity
Keep up the good fightback !
Any update?
Should have gone nuts there bro
Ho noo!!
This is a very good video. My relationship ended 3,5 months ago. It had only lasted 5 months and was pure limerence. One evening I asked her if everything was okay and she said that she had been feeling less in love with me as of late. So I calmly but immediately packed my stuff and left her, without a sad and pointless breakup conversation (keeping my pride and hoping she would miss me). I went into no contact pretty soon after that. I never begged, but I did measure the temperature a few times in the first week after the breakup. Since then, I stuck wth no contact, even though I've been missing her like hell for the last three months. It's insane how much I think of her even though I'm trying not to. I've lost all hope by now, which is a good thing, and now I'm starting to understand that even if we would get back together, I would probably be paranoid and expecting her to lose her feelings for me again. And I would never want to feel like that in a relationship, not for myself and not for her. So that's a thought that's sort of sobering me up these days. But yeah, I've definetly been going through 'dark limerence' for quite a while now. And it sucks!!! I wish I just had some more shallow feelings, that would make life a lot easier.
Pain can make you envy the more shallow and blissful people in the world!
Oh wouldn't it be nice to be shallow???? It's little comfort right now, but we are better, kinder people for not being shallow. But it's nice to fantasize about waking one morning and not having any feelings for the lost love....
@@CoachKen could you explain that further, please?
This man is amazing with these videos. He knows the mind so well during a breakup
Thank you Envy! Very kind of you to say
THIS!!!!!!! It was a lightbulb moment of someone perfectly describing my thoughts. I have literally spent a month self flagellating and taking all of his bullets of how much i neglected him (whilst he bad mouths me to his emotional AP) and yet he's been emotionally neglectful of me for years!!!!!
I actually did that method of writing the things I didn’t like about him about 2 months ago and it really does help with detaching. I’m still working on it though but it has helped be to get back to reality when I tend to get in my feels again. You will soon realize that the perfect person who you though he/she is, was just an imagination that you created in your head because you wanted it to work. You just have to let your feelings feel through and focus on why you’re feeling a certain about their being as a whole.
Def a process - part of your mind and heart is fighting to hold on to the perfect image of them that torments you
Wisdom is crystallized pain.
and sometimes its only agony that gives you the wisdom you needed most. God have mercy in those moments
I broke nc after 11 days now back on day 10 and feeling great! Yes I miss them. But I’ve apologized for over stepping boundaries & now i have been focusing on me and actually doing great at it. Even entertaining other people!
I did the same, broke the nc on the 7th day, didnt get a response and he didn't even bother to read it,so I'm now back on 8th day. I still miss them, but it's not too painful now.
This is the best thing I have heard in so long!!! Thank you!!!
My ex with a very bad mental health reached out to me via email finally opening up to me about everything. I gave her a proper apology for what I believed I did wrong. She responded with anger to many of my apologies but I am not feeding into it anymore.
I also had a different ex contact me. She has been going to therapy for 2 years. She apologized to me for being unwilling to admit she is wrong. She apologized for not caring about my perspective and for being anxious and assuming the worst. I also apologized to her for what i did wrong. Many of my actions brought out her anxious style of attachment.
Not going to lie.... I thought women were not capable of apologizing properly but all it takes is 2 years of no contact/therapy. 😂
Shes going to come over within the week. I'm very happy.
Congratulations! Try to stay in the moment - One day at a time!
That's awesome! Any updates?
Literally the first time I've heard my feelings perfectly described!! And finally a different perspective and advice!! Let me go write my list. I had a list of things he did and I thought it made me more sad and I threw it away but looking back to that time, I actually was better than I am now with my heartbreak. Thanks so much. Yes I want him back, yes I've worked on myself so much but yes, I want to stop feeling this emotional pain I feel I'm causing myself. ❤️ Thank you for this!!!!
Thanks SwiftDawg! Mental hug!
feel better soon. im a male...it hurts. i know what u mean
Wish I had known about this BEFORE I wrote the letter. Now I don't know if I have a chance. It is very complicated because he already posted " in a relationship" and is my neighbor with cattle on my farm. We have known each other for over 40yrs together for 7. He broke up with me 2 x previously very early when we dating came back the first time and I had a "talk" with him the second time and now is 7yrs later
Help
She's been gone for three years and I'm still having problems letting go. I have seen countles videos on the subject. This was the most practical and helpful . Having is not so great a thing as wanting. Mr. Spock said that in the episode "Amok Time" The reality is that we weren't good for each other. Thanks for your logic
The opening of episode 1 of DS9 is a great deep dive into being held in the past by grief. "it's not linear...".
TNG has got some great wisdom also.
Great advice beautifully put. Thank you.
OMG... First video of yours I've watched... I've NEVER heard of dark limerance before... I have BPD (13 years of intense therapy and medications...so far so good) and you've just nailed it. Wow. Thank you for helping me understand this! I'm quite aware of myself 90% of the time these days, but OMG I really relate to this 🙏
This is so practical, Coach Ken
Wow best advice ever, I never heard of dark limerence, it makes so much sense. I've had 2 months of this pain and its really ruining my life because I'm so sensitive, so from today I'm writing my list. Thank you so much Coach Ken and coach Lee. You guys are brilliant.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to you and everyone suffering!
Needed this. Balanced me out. ❤
Great video Ken! 💯🙏
"People don't want to risk feeling less hurt because they think all that hurt is keeping me connected." That is deep. And pretty much describes most breakups. I'm on here for my daughter who is going through stuff. She's much stronger than I ever was. She's doing no contact with a long-distance ex that went right into a relationship with someone who is not on her level.
You are so good. Speak truth in a very sweet way. I am so grateful.
Trust and total honesty is essential for a safe relationship
Thank you Coach Ken
Thank you! This is something new that I needed to hear. It's as if I am being read out of the book. Hopefully, it will help me as an encouragement with some time passing by. This was probably that describes me from what I can't make out of for the way I feel things, and what my mind is trying to process.
You explained this so well. Now I know.
this is really great, helped me feel better right away
I needed to hear this today. Damn man. Thank you so much. I’m over here dying. Not anymore. The list will be my journal entry for the day
Love you bro! You're so freakin' awesome! Best on the net!
You are speaking truth you definitely have to know who you were with and who you are with we all mistakes. Everyone needs to have boundaries if you don’t things will not work out because the issue will cycle back again. I’m going through the situation right now and I learned a lot by watching her instead of calling her out I’ve allowed for her to form a defense mechanism when she is wrong she know what it is and she tend to get back in her she’ll because she don’t believe in accountability but at the same time she feels bad that’s on her that’s the main reason I don’t contact her because even though I have issues that need to be worked on I still believe she was petty by ending it. I then have told her why all her expectations wasn’t met she had high expectations of me and saw me as a high valued man which we all are if we remember who we are. That’s the reason why I haven’t given up on her because she don’t know I am working on my financial crisis something I don’t want to burden her with.
Our last conversation helped us realize we have to work on ourselves she want me to get right and I want her to see that I’ve been protecting her from her clients and family because she do run a business helping out the elderly and them retired old men with money and status love her. I had to deal with one that was consistently inviting my girl to watch a concert in a yacht I’m thinking to myself I’m a rehabilitated thug which never made it prison I only made it to booking. What can I offer my wife even though I’m not married to her I considered her my wife the moment I met her. Now with her obsessed strange cousin being miserable and wanting all the attention from the women in the family in other words the one that encourages the women in the family to leave their husbands so they could have their hot girl summer I’m not dumb.
We all have examples in our lives from the moment we are born i so happen to grow up with aunts cousins and sisters that played the same position being knowledgeable will not allow me to go through what I seen and even though the outcome might be different what are the chances of me not being a victim as far as being cheated on. Now I’m going through our first month of being broken up after three weeks of being ghosted what messes me up she said I’m a good man but not for her but that text wasn’t written by her and I know this because I know how she text her grammar isn’t correct even with auto correct she don’t use commas nor periods as me right now because I’m typing. I normally proof read everything I send out and she always using harsh words like mother you na mean. This text had mixed emotions written all over it.
Lewis I thought I was being negative by thinking of all her cons and even though her pros are greater the cons are heavy but we are not perfect. Thanks for confirming I’m on the right path. Now I have more time to work on myself nor have to feel like I’m second or last and once her and I link up the boundaries we had when we first met will have some realistic once. At first I didn’t care about her and her circle until I noticed her circle was benefiting from her I’m putting that to a stop she is not a bank her cousin definitely going to hold a lost as well I’m waiting for her to screw up which she already is. Her passive aggressive narcissistic ways has been spotted and it’s only a matter of time before she reveals her true intentions.
This was fabulous advice. After watching a ton of videos, this one has helped the most.
You are so real.... Your content is amazing!!!... You can tell you know your stuff. Wow!!!!! 👌
This is exactly what I started doing subconsciously, now I gotta write them down !
This is wonderful.
Best video I’ve heard about how to handle a breakup!
Coach Ken is brilliant! I think I'm going to book a call. I feel like my situation is confusing. She truly did NOTHING wrong. She was only kind, gentle, creative (artist and crafter and amazing cook) giving, and waited 4 years for ME. I was addicted (only have 23 days clean as of this post and am attending NA regularly) and probably fearful avoidant. Love-Push-Pull has been my pattern all my life, and when they finally leave "for reals" the pain is unbearable. I am not, and never have been abusive, not a cheater, and we've had incredible experiences together and a lot of love. NOW I'm 60
A fit, athletic 60 but still 60. She was the best I've ever had. Like Ken is saying, I feel like she kind of honored me TOO MUCH, and didn't need to. I honored her and encouraged her too - with her health and fitness, and to take up her watercolor painting again for example. She implicitly initiated no contact 25 days ago and I feel like I'm dying inside. She stopped following and liking my uploads on Strava (bike rides, walks, workouts, etc). I'm still following her and have her favorited but an afraid to like any of her activities, as she could block me. I don't want her to block me. I do need to stop looking at her Facebook. It's hard! But it actually makes me feel worse. I'm glad Zuckerberg designed Facebook so it is not possible to see who's looking at your profile. Although it did cross my mind that she's probably excluded me from seeing her posts, or some of them. I miss her terribly. I feel like she's THE only person on this planet that can take away my pain, and she fkng won't do it! I was also layed off my job 3 months ago and haven't taken anything yet - but I'm only semi-functional right now. Some days are better. Today, weirdly, has been the worst since day 1. And I wonder if I'm being vilified too - like I'm a horrible person. I'm not! I'm really fkn tired and spent.
25 is still early - Hang strong brother! Looking forward to talking with you if we get the chance. The anxiety/hurt waves will come and fade with surprising strength and unpredictable patterns. Just let yourself feel it - don't fight it or trust what the pain tells you.
@CoachKen Thank you so much, Coach Ken.
This might be the best concise explanation. One hundred percent truth.
This was great, thankyou 🙏
Appreciate for this content. Everything you told describes my fillings precisely. I need to restore myself at the first place
Solid exercise! Thanks coache, seems so simple.
The list just helped bring me out of a bad dream i was living.... 30 mins ago she was up there and it helped me come back to reality that shes not perfect. Actually she pissed me off a lot, still love her its only been like 10 days but god damn the wave of warm relief washing over you when you snap out of it is relieving
I Loved your comment sir!!! You're the best!! I will pray for strength and will listen this over and over again.Thank you.
Thank you 🙏 I needed to hear this today 😢
WOW...this is the first time I heard of this...write down their negatives! I listened to so many that haven't ever said this.
Perfectly explained the situation. I feel things intensely and even though he sabotaged the connection, I looked back and blamed myself. Trying to stay away as much as I can and iterating the imperfections to gain myself back…
Thanks coach . You’re the best !! ❤
I think this is sad that there are so many of us hurting. Need a group chat lol You are not alone.....
I am so happy that I am focusing on my novel again. I am more focused my friends and work. This is such a good feeling.
Thanks for this video, I needed this. Still wish I wasn't in this situation & that everything will get better in my life
Excellent advice. It’s helping me feel less heartbroken in the moment. The pedestal I’ve put him on has crumbled and I’m going to get back my power
This was exactly what I needed to hear .Thank you .New subscriber 😊
Thanks for subbing!
Well done for such a an objective analysis
I love what you had to say … very helpful
I needed this! Ty so much.
Thanks Tom!
This makes 100% sense
So grateful to have found this channel. Loved every bit of advice !! Thank u 🙏🏼
Thank you Super!
WOW, I can relate to this so much. Thank you for the fantastic video.
Thank you Galestian! Appreciate the kind words very much!
Amazing advices it's like you are talking directly to me 😊 thanks you
Good words I needed to hear. I thought not thinking about him would heal me sooner. Not necessarily true. You need to process everything and that takes as long as it takes.
Again, I will thank you once more! This was a fantastic video.
Thanks Galestian! Much appreciated!
Never heard of dark limmerance before but you are so right. I’m adhd and stuck in trauma mode from going through a lot of trauma over the past few years. I broke up with him but didn’t try to work it out and regretted it within a day or two. Now I want to try to work it out because there are so many good things about us. But I have to keep telling myself there’s a reason I broke up with him in the first place…but then he said he was through. (I probably traumatized him with an out of the blue break up) think the best thing to do will be no contact for a month or two then try to hang out slowly in a friendly way and see how I feel and how he feels.
Ken you are speaking from my heart, from my mind. Thank you! 5,5 months in No Contact, and I totally agree and lived through everything you say.
Gabor! mental hug my friend! Thank you for the comments
@@CoachKenp
You described me to the tee in this video. Thank you for your content and God bless.
Thanks Raandell!
Coach Ken you are realistic and sensitiv you offer more than anybody ever did.Thank you
Thank you Julijana!
Coach Ken you've given me hope and a rational approach to a relationship on the rocks!! Thanks Brother
Rock on! Thanks Marc!
Thanks a lot, I need IT to hear this
Thank you so much for your knowledge.. My thoughts have driven me crazy. You make so much sense.. I understand now why I feel the way I do. I can't thank you enough.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Rebecca! That means a lot to read a message like that
Great and informative video like always, Coach. Love the new viewing angle you setup as well. Going to try your advice and see if it lessens the pain I’m in.
Thanks Steve! Let me know how it works for you
This video was so helpful to me. More than any other advice have gotten about this excruciating break up. Not completely out of pain and torment completely but getting there. Especially appreciated the explanation of the flip side of blissful vs dark limerance. Most enlightening and helpful. Thank you for this.
Probably my favorite video as of yet!
Thank you Tim - grateful for the encouragement
THANK YOU COACH KEN!!!!!!!! 💯
Thanks Dustin!
I saw it in her eyes when she kissed me goodbye without words.I am in that exact situation. Always feeling things more then normal. Now in No contact for 8 weeks it almost drove me nuts. The pain was unbearable. Your video gave me some clearance and perspective. I really worshipped her although i didnt realized it. But then it is my fault eventually? I drove her away i saw it in her eyes when she kist me goodbye, there was pain. Thank you for this video. I wish anyone in this same situation all the strength en power to pull true. Remember 1 day..... 1 day it will be ours again. That joy in life god has for us.
Thank you man! Very much! You’re helping me so much make me realize i put her on a pedestal… I’m gonna try from now on to get her off this high place…
It works but it takes time - be patient with yourself and the emotion.
Immediately made a list after listening to this video and it really helps a lot. Thanks.
Excellent! Happy it helped!
This video got me to the idea, to put my floor onto a wall. Looks amazing bro!
This is the best advice. Remind yourself of how human they are. Make a list of the red flags. Write down their flaws and cruelties. A healthy and reasonable view of them. Thanks. I’m doing this tonight. 3 weeks after the breakup. Still hurting but in no contact.
Thank you thank you thank you so much, bro!😊
Wow that’s kind of mind blowing
Great video. ❤
I started writing the list and my god does that work, thank you ken. Ill be referring to and adding to it as needed
Thank you Landon! Write another list about the things about you that you like and admire as well
You are a great man. Awesome work 👏
Thank you WIlliejr! Very much appreciated!
This is fantastic Ken, puts a lot in perspective and it’s all so true. Sometimes when you’re knee deep in the situation, you can see the forest for the trees.
Thanks Kristian! Much appreciated big man!
@@CoachKen Good stuff Ken, I'll schedule a call soon so we can catch up! Hope all is well with you!