Crusader Kings 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - RETINUE ONLY CHALLENGE IS BROKEN

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • Crusader kings 2 is the best medieval rpg that historically recreates a fantasy and funny adventure for your character as they try and lead their small plot of land to success! Success can of course in this game vary from not dying of the black death to managing to conquer the world In todays video we are going to be doing the latter with a handy bit of assistance from a very fun glitch involving retinue for Germanic Tribes in this Role Playing Grand strategy game. So today The Spiffing Brit will discover if CK2 is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits or if the retinue only challenge is broken and allows you to conquer the world in the easiest way possible. With this challenge you can not only have free mega armies you can also have unlimited money and infinite prestige. It really is the easiest and most broken way to play Crusader Kings. I do love strategy game exploits and what better way to show them off than with some British funny moments! So sit back relax and enjoy this funny montage of a mad english chap as he exploits games for your entertainment.
    This video game exploit video will be jam packed with a best bits funny moments montage style of editing similar to that of Valefisk, Robbaz and RTgame. So sit back relax and grab a cup of tea to enjoy with the spiffing brit!
    Spiffing Brit Crusader By - @Jes_Draws
    Magestic Merch: freshmerch.fm/...
    Patreon: / spiffing
    Twitter: @thespiffingbrit
    Discord: / discord
    title: Crusader Kings 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - RETINUE ONLY CHALLENGE IS BROKEN
    Last Strategy Exploit Video: Company of Heroes 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Russian Bias Only Challenge
    #funny #montage #Exploit

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,6 тис.

  • @cethapplegate594
    @cethapplegate594 4 роки тому +5892

    Spiff are you paying your retinue in exposure?

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 роки тому +383

      @@thespiffingbrit
      Wassup my Guuge!
      Cumans are awesome

    • @matthill5426
      @matthill5426 4 роки тому +87

      The Gooj is exposed to all.

    • @virginlooser7451
      @virginlooser7451 4 роки тому +87

      Nice coment my guge

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 роки тому +35

      @@thespiffingbrit
      Daddy please

    • @DhonJoe
      @DhonJoe 4 роки тому +11

      @@thespiffingbrit 😥😭😌😏😝

  • @altromonte15
    @altromonte15 4 роки тому +450

    I love the description of the duels, it's basically "I was swinging my sword randomly and at one point he screamed, so I knew I had hit him, lucky me, what a god of duels I am"

    • @Socrates458
      @Socrates458 4 роки тому +24

      dlollolb I think you should submit that to Paradox for CK3.

    • @kendenstarke419
      @kendenstarke419 Рік тому

      Wazzup my guge

    • @DeathComesQuick666
      @DeathComesQuick666 11 місяців тому +2

      @@kendenstarke419 i paused it, came down here, clicked this reply section first. Youre a true guge.

  • @LR-ff2cn
    @LR-ff2cn 4 роки тому +7237

    Everybody:
    S U P M A G U U U G E S

  • @thecigardad2826
    @thecigardad2826 4 роки тому +2138

    "Don't call each other Guges"- Spiff
    "What up my guges!"-Everyone
    *Spiff laughing in UA-cam algorithm monetization intensifies*

    • @kasperdjerns2865
      @kasperdjerns2865 4 роки тому +29

      His gonna see a guge spike in viewer comments activity

    • @EmperorZelos
      @EmperorZelos 4 роки тому +8

      from what I hear, he is banning people for using Guge on his discord

    • @kodokunagemu
      @kodokunagemu 4 роки тому +4

      @@EmperorZelos don't spread rumors, he's got tea that enables God mode....
      Ohhhhh

    • @koffieslikkersenior
      @koffieslikkersenior 4 роки тому +6

      He's probably found an exploit in the algorithm like the guge he is

    • @eelonmusk6998
      @eelonmusk6998 4 роки тому +2

      The UA-cam algorithm is a perfectly balanced algorithm with no expoits whatsoever

  • @Kyle_Hubbard
    @Kyle_Hubbard 4 роки тому +2528

    "Don't go into the comment section calling each other GUGES because that would make me immensely uncomfortable"
    OK, you got it my GUGE.

    • @yaasification6786
      @yaasification6786 4 роки тому +122

      This is what I'm talking about Guge

    • @smokeynifty4376
      @smokeynifty4376 4 роки тому +69

      The guge are you talking about

    • @cp1cupcake
      @cp1cupcake 4 роки тому +55

      Its ok as long we are just calling Spiffin a Guge. We just can't call each other that Atticus.

    • @ichigogeek
      @ichigogeek 4 роки тому +35

      @@yaasification6786 I mean, my GOUGE, I wouldn't dare to call out tea overlord Herr GUGESTEA That'd be simply offensive my GUGE.

    • @teph1256
      @teph1256 4 роки тому +23

      sup my guges

  • @bisalwayswright88
    @bisalwayswright88 4 роки тому +115

    Even though I've put in 100 hours into this game, I didn't know how retinues worked. My favourite thing about this guge is how easily he explains very complicated games

  • @RealMothman98
    @RealMothman98 4 роки тому +786

    Norse warriors be marching into enemies cities like "whaddup my guge".

  • @admiralsnackbar8915
    @admiralsnackbar8915 4 роки тому +908

    “Angermanland” is actually still a place in sweden and roughly translates to “regret-man-land”. Meaning you’d regret going there

    • @hinzster
      @hinzster 4 роки тому +116

      Actually it's got its name from the river, the Ångerman, and it's just a river that is so wide they call it a fjord - or in old swedish "anger" (hah! Norway has fjords, Sweden has to call their rivers fjords :P)... anyway, you'll love their coat of arms, it's got three fish in it.

    • @MisterTipp
      @MisterTipp 4 роки тому +39

      I mean, it makes a lot more sense if it was actually a river called Ångerman but at that point you're ruining Swedish 6th grade geography for everyone

    • @hinzster
      @hinzster 4 роки тому +6

      Sowwy :(

    • @robinbanks3186
      @robinbanks3186 4 роки тому +25

      The Swedish Provincial borders and names have stayed consistent for a scary amount of time. Medelpad, Jämtland, Gästrikland, and Hälsingland are about the same size and they still have the same name.

    • @Teadon86
      @Teadon86 4 роки тому +8

      As a Swede, this made me unexpectantly depressed.

  • @AnomalyINC
    @AnomalyINC 3 роки тому +326

    "We can't allow Catholics in our lands" is a surprisingly accurate summation of a lot of Swedish history.

    • @holloww_dwella
      @holloww_dwella 2 роки тому +5

      I wish that were true.

    • @aethertoast4320
      @aethertoast4320 2 роки тому +11

      @@holloww_dwella didn't say that they were successful at the endeavor.

    • @hikari1690
      @hikari1690 2 роки тому

      But Sabaton's Carolus Rex has "I was chosen by heaven". Is it a different religion's heaven?

    • @AnomalyINC
      @AnomalyINC 2 роки тому +10

      @@hikari1690 Not at all. Same heaven, different sect. Sweden became Protestant very early on after the Reformation.
      Still Christians, but rejecting Papal authority.

    • @xaoz2362
      @xaoz2362 2 роки тому

      @@holloww_dwella well, that is true... We fought against the Catholics and made protestant christianity our religion.

  • @rpcheesman
    @rpcheesman 4 роки тому +195

    Of course Harry Windsor should be a proud guge for being left-handed.

  • @theunforgiven9386
    @theunforgiven9386 4 роки тому +454

    "All we have is just a bunch of angry guges"
    - Describing any Khornate Warband

  • @Jame5man
    @Jame5man 4 роки тому +689

    Spiffing Brit: no one uses retinues
    Me looking at 12k retinue of pikemen and heavy cavalry: I’m nobody, solid

  • @Ares-hb7ge
    @Ares-hb7ge 4 роки тому +344

    "Crusader Kings 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - RETINUE ONLY CHALLENGE IS BROKEN"
    I knew that already guge, everyone knows CK2 is perfectly balanced

    • @bjrntop7220
      @bjrntop7220 4 роки тому +3

      yeah, GUGE

    • @teodorofreiberger2438
      @teodorofreiberger2438 4 роки тому +3

      don't even sweat my guge, all the other guges are greeting because this comment section slaps

    • @defensivekobra3873
      @defensivekobra3873 4 роки тому +3

      Oh my guge we did it, we made him uncomfortable, let's hope spiff does not send us to the brittish penal collonies my guges

  • @borjitasstoi
    @borjitasstoi 4 роки тому +2447

    Me finding girldfriend
    people:she is ugly
    me:but stats are decent

    • @BevinEG
      @BevinEG 4 роки тому +39

      Such an unchad comment...
      Small boi yikes

    • @samuelbunkly2527
      @samuelbunkly2527 4 роки тому +58

      Imagine a girlfriend
      Ex deeee

    • @ZechsMerquise73
      @ZechsMerquise73 4 роки тому +25

      what about that guge though?

    • @BevinEG
      @BevinEG 4 роки тому +3

      Now we're cooking with hot coal!

    • @TBDF12
      @TBDF12 4 роки тому +22

      Look at this guge pretending to have a girlfriend.

  • @ratemal7748
    @ratemal7748 4 роки тому +782

    "What on earth is Cumania?"
    Kingdom Come - Deliverance: Am I a joke to you?

  • @FuelDropforthewin
    @FuelDropforthewin 4 роки тому +287

    Spiff: "Who's even heard of Cumania?"
    Age of Empires 2 DE players: *spams step lancers*

    • @chryasor9254
      @chryasor9254 4 роки тому +14

      *internal screaming* how did such a broken unit get through testing

    • @CarlosRios1
      @CarlosRios1 4 роки тому +15

      Kcd players: *angry bohemian noises*

    • @Hubert_Cumberdale_
      @Hubert_Cumberdale_ 4 роки тому +4

      Aren't cumans mentioned in kingdom come deliverence?

    • @CarlosRios1
      @CarlosRios1 4 роки тому +7

      @@Hubert_Cumberdale_ they're the main antagonist

    • @Des420
      @Des420 4 роки тому

      Hulkcumania?

  • @nickyoudontgettoknow8291
    @nickyoudontgettoknow8291 4 роки тому +336

    How's it going my guge

  • @OctEddie
    @OctEddie Рік тому +39

    I accidentally stumbled into this retinue exploit while I was Norway. I became Scandinavia, took over all over Europe and kept rampaging with zero challenge into the Middle East and Asia.

  • @shadowwolf12398
    @shadowwolf12398 4 роки тому +606

    Spiffing Brit: don’t go into the comments and call each other guges
    Everyone else: sup ma guges

  • @abramtabor7726
    @abramtabor7726 4 роки тому +721

    "Don't go into the comment section calling each other GUGES because that would make me immensely uncomfortable"
    Most of the Fanbase: We would like to be called the GUGES from now on.

    • @mcborris6515
      @mcborris6515 4 роки тому +40

      What's that you're saying there Guge?

    • @abramtabor7726
      @abramtabor7726 4 роки тому +35

      Simply acknowledging the perfectly balanced nature of my fellow Guges.

    • @daymaster1
      @daymaster1 4 роки тому +25

      What's up my Guge?

    • @robinyeah4134
      @robinyeah4134 4 роки тому +14

      nothing much guge

    • @jimpicket2430
      @jimpicket2430 4 роки тому +9

      My Guge

  • @Plair0ne
    @Plair0ne 4 роки тому +210

    "It's horrific cuz it's in Sweden and it's freezing cold"
    *looks out of the window*
    Too real, man

    • @8484terry
      @8484terry 4 роки тому +7

      Laugh's in Canadian

    • @jeevithrai7994
      @jeevithrai7994 4 роки тому +3

      Better than being steamed alive in the tropics, I say

    • @hansjakobappel3716
      @hansjakobappel3716 4 роки тому

      Good one my Guge and it demonstrates why denmark is better

  • @Makem12
    @Makem12 4 роки тому +176

    *When Spiff reveals your best secrets to millions of people*
    I'ma gonna need a pack of tea for compensation!

  • @PaxIesus
    @PaxIesus 4 роки тому +112

    "I'll bet you never even heard of Cumania." Of course I have. Their Kipchaks are broken AF, and their pointy-stick horsey bois run roughshod over everything.

    • @memebro8703
      @memebro8703 4 роки тому +2

      Pax Romana but have you heard of the guge?

    • @PaxIesus
      @PaxIesus 4 роки тому +8

      @@memebro8703 My guge, of course I've heard of the guge.

    • @Lyralium
      @Lyralium 4 роки тому +2

      Reference AOE and get a like

  • @TheUnmournedYank
    @TheUnmournedYank 4 роки тому +896

    2019: “Ok, boomer.”
    2020: “Ok, guge.”

  • @ReclusiveEagle
    @ReclusiveEagle 4 роки тому +243

    Paradox Interactive: "Crusader Kings 3 coming soon"
    Spiff: *Rubbing teabags together*

    • @lightdrgn20
      @lightdrgn20 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks you for alerting me.

    • @Hirovard
      @Hirovard 4 роки тому +4

      can't wait for CK3, can any of you Guge's?

    • @adamvifrye2690
      @adamvifrye2690 4 роки тому +1

      they say its gonna be a year, but i doubt it... i really hope they dont dumb it down even more.

  • @InkyDustMan
    @InkyDustMan 4 роки тому +130

    "Germanic-Pagan, Raiding Retinue."
    Now you're speaking my language-

    • @SparseB
      @SparseB 4 роки тому +2

      Ballistic what up my guges!

  • @numberslettersstuff
    @numberslettersstuff 4 роки тому +61

    "He doesnt have much land, but what he does have is land we can occupy. " lol
    What a Guge.

  • @binger_kurg9907
    @binger_kurg9907 4 роки тому +148

    Spiffing: Please don't go to the comments and call each other Guges
    Everyone: Ok Guge

    • @Hubert_Cumberdale_
      @Hubert_Cumberdale_ 4 роки тому +6

      I hope this sticks and keep happening in later videos my guge.

    • @Purvis513
      @Purvis513 4 роки тому +3

      @@Hubert_Cumberdale_ We must take action. Let the Guge uprising begin!

    • @Hubert_Cumberdale_
      @Hubert_Cumberdale_ 4 роки тому +3

      @@Purvis513 yes my guge! Let us forevermore guge upp the comment sections!

    • @singleplayermoments
      @singleplayermoments 4 роки тому +2

      Skyler Purvis 🤣🤣 What has Spiff created?

    • @Purvis513
      @Purvis513 4 роки тому +1

      @@singleplayermoments He's created... a perfectly balanced meme lmao

  • @Insym
    @Insym 4 роки тому +250

    Spiff: "Literally noone uses retinue"
    Me conquering the world in every ck2 game with camel/light cav retinue: "You sure?"

    • @mainzer45
      @mainzer45 4 роки тому +33

      Fr. When he said that my first thought was how every series I've watched uses maxed retinue caps, I personally max out my retinues each time. They've been the strongest thing in the game since they were released.

    • @TheRealLaking
      @TheRealLaking 4 роки тому +4

      mainzer45 huh weird I’m with spiff never seen a point in using them but I don’t focus a whole lot on the combat so I’m not an expert.

    • @mainzer45
      @mainzer45 4 роки тому +12

      @@TheRealLaking yeah my first world conquer campaign was using retinues to conquer the majority of my enemies provinces, and only using my normal army for defences. I had a 40k retinue hold off the sunset invasion 120k doomstack. They're absurd if you get a proper unit comp and focus on them.

    • @DatCameraMON
      @DatCameraMON 4 роки тому +2

      Don't you need a DLC to use retinues?

    • @ErebosGR
      @ErebosGR 4 роки тому +10

      @@DatCameraMON/videos Yeah, the Legacy of Rome DLC.

  • @BobVosh
    @BobVosh 3 роки тому +36

    You're the only madlad I know that has ever called retinues bad and not worth paying attention to, even ignoring the tribal ones with prestige ones.

    • @invention64
      @invention64 2 роки тому +6

      Yeah, having a standing army that can be maneuvered before a battle, and has perfect composition is really good in this game

  • @teaappreciationindividual505
    @teaappreciationindividual505 4 роки тому +329

    “All the children had to work in the coal mines”
    Sounds like the north of England up to the 1980’s
    Edit: ok, I’ve looked through the replies...
    I have no words

    • @sirbillius
      @sirbillius 4 роки тому +14

      Sup my Guge!

    • @sumoking3002
      @sumoking3002 4 роки тому +6

      or all of UK from 1 Feb 2020

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo 4 роки тому +1

      @@sumoking3002
      Wat?

    • @joannaatkins822
      @joannaatkins822 4 роки тому +1

      @@Alizudo Probably Brexit

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo 4 роки тому +1

      @@joannaatkins822
      Why would people have to go back to the coal mines though.

  • @ErneSaurus
    @ErneSaurus 4 роки тому +87

    I'd love to see 100 stat man back in ck2, anyone else? Either that or spiff using this to conquer the whole globe

    • @krayne-ddg-pmc
      @krayne-ddg-pmc 4 роки тому +7

      Honestly I would love a series of nothing but world conquest in ck2 using odd tactics

  • @Kandall05161
    @Kandall05161 4 роки тому +354

    Ah, so THIS is how all those damned roving adventurers and peasant uprisings keep showing up with 6 thousand fully trained soldiers

    • @Malohdek
      @Malohdek 4 роки тому +33

      Seriously though lmaoo. EU4 is even worse for uprisings. Like 14k troops while your standing army is still only 9k lmaooo

    • @kairuw6477
      @kairuw6477 4 роки тому +30

      Malohdek and somehow those peasants have enough food for it all indefinitely, reinforcements, sometimes higher discipline than you and better weapons. Wtf

    • @TheManofthecross
      @TheManofthecross 4 роки тому +3

      @@Malohdek to be fair your 9k is better equipped trained and lead then the latter which is much larger but lacking the formor etc. so it is pretty balance unless you fucked up so badly that you got the revolution crises and all of that shits.

    • @radordekeche947
      @radordekeche947 4 роки тому +2

      @@Malohdek At least EU4 shows you how many people will join an uprising! And gives you better tools to prevent it. On the other hand, Vic2 is much worse for uprisings. You may still be able to see the numbers, but that doesn't matter when it's essentially every single citizen and half your army at once.

    • @serathus3201
      @serathus3201 4 роки тому

      @@radordekeche947 based. I wish they would've designed the concept with Rebellions better though.. if you play as a big nation (e.g China) you will always massacre quite a big part of your Population in addition to the fact that you cant even prevent any rebellion whatsoever

  • @spartanpawn007
    @spartanpawn007 4 роки тому +690

    "But with DNA and Me I found out I'm 2.1% Western Tibetan"
    "Morning Steve!"
    "Sup Guge!"

    • @spartanpawn007
      @spartanpawn007 4 роки тому +7

      This joke was the first thing to pop into my head when you said "don't go into the comment section and call each other Guges".

    • @sxiayk7081
      @sxiayk7081 4 роки тому

      @@spartanpawn007 jokes are ALWAYS funnier if you explain them

    • @spartanpawn007
      @spartanpawn007 4 роки тому +1

      @@sxiayk7081 That's not explaining a joke, my guy.

    • @sxiayk7081
      @sxiayk7081 4 роки тому +1

      @@spartanpawn007 it is. your joke was you calling people guge in the comments, then you explained the reference.

    • @spartanpawn007
      @spartanpawn007 4 роки тому

      @@sxiayk7081 Not even close to what the reference was.

  • @simon-elrondir8621
    @simon-elrondir8621 4 роки тому +29

    I've done this before and I have a few tips.
    1 Grab the heavy retinue with a 33% heavy and 67% Light infantry they are far better when it comes to raiding and will be able to compete against other units later on in the game. My highest size was 10k Light and 5k heavy. Lasted me from year 800 to the end.
    2 If you want to raid a lot then grab Malta or any other island in the Mediterranean (besides of Venice) so that you can drop of your raid loot and repeat. Cut down a lot of down time by doing it. My maxed war chest was 80k Gold.
    3 Try to pick the intrigue focus and spy on your vassals then find a reason to imprison them, try to make it so they escape and then win the war they started. After you've won take control of one of their holdings which means another fort + first market and a weapon smith. You can also make your chancellor fabricate claims on them in before hand so that you can claim multiple holdings from them.
    4 Tech, Try to max out Military Organization as much as possible it will give you ridiculous amounts of retinue cap.
    Get your spy master in Constantinople easy progress for free.
    Don't expect to get a 15k retinue size and a 80k war chest the frist time trying this. It took me well over 30 attempts to figure this out :D. Keep up the good work Spiff. I'd appreciate if you could hand a fellow watcher a hand by licking this if you found it helpful

    • @tapanikuro
      @tapanikuro 4 роки тому +1

      The method I've found much much better is just having mostly (50%+) Light Cavalry/Light Infantry based army, with the rest being Light infantry or Light + Heavy infantry.
      Place ALL (or almost all) of your Light Cavalry retinues on the same flank (preferably commander with bonuses to morale damage, flanking and/or light cavalry) and enjoy winning battles against enemies twice your size as your Light cavalry shreds their opposing flank almost immediately, and proceeds to mow the rest with the flanking bonus.
      For the 2 smaller flanks, defensive commanders with good martial or narrow flank ability are preferable, but their main goal is to survive till the big flank get to mow down everything.

    • @ProtoForte
      @ProtoForte 4 роки тому +1

      this works with a bigger starting position like sweden, right? i don't really understand why he went for such a small nation in the beginning?

    • @simon-elrondir8621
      @simon-elrondir8621 4 роки тому

      @@tapanikuro I could see a extreme benefit in having cavalry in early game.. Maybe have 1/3 cavalry retinue on 1000LH and 2k (Hunting Party) in Right flank and then in the other two small groups of Trappers for the Archers Defensive bonuses.
      Maybe have two groups, 1 Big for raiding with the Veteran Warriors to make easy money and your Calvary group + Trapper on the other flanks. Thanks for the tip

    • @simon-elrondir8621
      @simon-elrondir8621 4 роки тому

      @@ProtoForte Well He might have just found this out. I wouldn't really call sweden big in 769, just around 3k levies. Compared to denmark that can mustur around 5k+ from vassals.
      As long as you start out aggressively by raiding all your nabours and conqueror more territory so you get more people to raid from. It should work from any starting ruler, After you become king you can offer vassalization to people with your own culture and religion. Then just create a big retinue army whilst getting a lot of prestige.

    • @Socrates458
      @Socrates458 4 роки тому

      The lord of war has spoken.

  • @darkSorceror
    @darkSorceror 3 роки тому +97

    In my first successful CK2 campaign (single-player), I accidentally used this exploit, but less optimised.

    • @Mark0MXx
      @Mark0MXx 2 роки тому +4

      I think most people did, why would anyone not use retinues? They are great against raids and other stuff.

    • @Boretheory
      @Boretheory 2 роки тому

      @@Mark0MXx i didn’t know they existed lmao i made 2 whole campaigns without them dealing with the Ai Having 2-10k more troops than me all the time they revolted

    • @samuelpage5660
      @samuelpage5660 10 місяців тому

      Well done my Guge

  • @Fluffy_Cow
    @Fluffy_Cow 4 роки тому +227

    Spiff: please don't call each other guges
    Me: ok my guge!

  • @Ravenheartless322
    @Ravenheartless322 4 роки тому +81

    "It's Occupation Time". Nothing has ever sounded so English then that phrase and sum up English history.

    • @Ethamore
      @Ethamore 4 роки тому +5

      @Donald Trump Sup my guge.

    • @valentinmitterbauer4196
      @valentinmitterbauer4196 4 роки тому +1

      *cries in british occupation zone of Styria, Carinthia and East- Tyrol from 1945 to 1955*

    • @Ravenheartless322
      @Ravenheartless322 4 роки тому

      @Donald Trump tea being culture and stability change my mind.

  • @itscheese6063
    @itscheese6063 3 роки тому +55

    if you are the hero of the wolf warriors you can only be injured in battle. add that to being immortal and your character can physically not die

    • @dylutant
      @dylutant 2 роки тому +3

      you can still die to events like 'chess with death', get murdered via plot, or be burned at stake when accused of apostasy (if you fail at being a viking and get conquered by Catholics). there's no doubt more, like prisoner execution or maybe mummified with that freaky intrigue bloodline, but I never had those so that's me speculating.

    • @marksmidt8225
      @marksmidt8225 Рік тому +1

      There’s still actually plenty of ways to die as immortal, all immortality does is ensure you don’t you die of disease and old age. The reduction of injury as a wolf warrior still doesn’t prevent you from being killed in duels, there’s always a 3% or so chance that you’ll lose a duel and potentially die

  • @dane1382
    @dane1382 4 роки тому +103

    Continue the journey of Reanu Keeves, King of Jorvik, and his 100 STAT STEED!

  • @blackfang101
    @blackfang101 4 роки тому +160

    Tried this strat today because i figured, "it aint that overpowered, surely..." Now two hours later here i am with 40k retinues and all i own is most of northern norway, northern sweden and finland. Remember, your hillfort give you +100 retinue size, the first market gives you 20 retinue, the first weaponsmith gives you 25 retinue and 5 less for every lever thereafter, so you can potentially push out way more troops than you'd think after all those modifiers, and retinues don't care if you go over your "demesne" limit, so you just grab all those demesne's for yourself and a short while later, you will have so many retinues the only limit is the amount of prestige you can manage to gather, and if you micro your raiding, thats no issue at all. I could've reached more, but i stopped at 40k because i didn't want to continue raiding just to earn more prestige to use for more retinues.

    • @shadowingyou
      @shadowingyou 4 роки тому +30

      You stopped at 40k because you somehow managed to get into the 40k Warhammer universe.

    • @SexyRapMaster
      @SexyRapMaster 4 роки тому +2

      I tried this exact thing (same land, ruler, etc) as in the video and it won’t let me use prestige for retinues, only gold. I don’t know what’s wrong. I have the Norse culture and Germanic religion and everything. Help?

    • @PermadeathHD
      @PermadeathHD 4 роки тому +3

      @@SexyRapMaster maybe dlc?

    • @thabo8757
      @thabo8757 4 роки тому +8

      @@SexyRapMaster I think it depends on what kind of retinue it is. The housecarls(heavy infantry) cost gold while light infantry costs prestige

    • @Knoloaify
      @Knoloaify 4 роки тому +11

      @@SexyRapMaster You need to be tribal and have the Old Gods DLC.

  • @Celiktaban
    @Celiktaban 3 роки тому +40

    Getting "Pirate" achievement takes a couple of raiding. No need to spend glorious years on it.

  • @arnabbiswasalsodeep
    @arnabbiswasalsodeep 4 роки тому +160

    Sup my guge! How ya guges doing?
    (someone had to do it)

  • @alexpalex3453
    @alexpalex3453 4 роки тому +79

    fun fact: Angermanland (Ångermanland) actually means Regretmanland. kinda funny

  • @johnaxios6335
    @johnaxios6335 4 роки тому +83

    "Welcome to Crusader Kings 2 where everything is just wrong"
    ... no no, he's right

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому +3

      *Looks at Finnish Russia*
      Actually this doesn't seem all that wrong

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому +2

      @@Eric-mc1jf Yeah I guess it is... But having things like this in a realistic historical context couldn't be funnier.

    • @friedlemons5201
      @friedlemons5201 4 роки тому +1

      He's not right enough

  • @darksteiner631
    @darksteiner631 4 роки тому +135

    Spiff : No sup me guuuuuge
    Everyone:
    SUP ME GUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE

  • @sand2358
    @sand2358 4 роки тому +206

    If you don’t say “Wassup my Guge” or something to that extent. Then you’re obviously a coffee drinker..

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo 4 роки тому +5

      He literally said NOT to do it though, so who's REALLY the coffee drinker here? 🤔

    • @sand2358
      @sand2358 4 роки тому +2

      @@Alizudo I'm going to be honest I drink both so potentially me, since the only time I said "Wassup my Guge" was in quotations and thus that would assume I wasn't the one saying it.

    • @InevitableD34th
      @InevitableD34th 4 роки тому +4

      Well said, my guge.

    • @Darthforce122
      @Darthforce122 4 роки тому +1

      @@Alizudo clearly u my guge!😂😂

    • @DanteTheEgregore
      @DanteTheEgregore 4 роки тому

      Wassup my Guge?!

  • @AliTheHighest
    @AliTheHighest 4 роки тому +43

    You should’ve chose the scholarship focus.
    The military tech is RIDICULOUSLY overpowered.
    You can multiply your retinue by SO much!

  • @Hornbowman
    @Hornbowman 4 роки тому +16

    Yes, more 100 Stat Man please, the concept never gets old!

  • @codythacker229
    @codythacker229 4 роки тому +20

    “Who wants to be humble? 200 prestige!!!” Spiff is my favorite youtuber😂😂

  • @aenorist2431
    @aenorist2431 4 роки тому +75

    "I love this games naming system."
    You realize thats how scandinavia worked, and Iceland still does?
    Harry's son gary is called Garry Harryson ... not even a joke. They don't have family names, at least a majority dont.

    • @georgeapg1
      @georgeapg1 4 роки тому +16

      Lol
      This dude thinks Scandinavia is REAL!

    • @jamie5140
      @jamie5140 4 роки тому +6

      George Pittas well not Denmark.. but Norway and Sweden exist

    • @georgeapg1
      @georgeapg1 4 роки тому +1

      @@jamie5140 what are you talking about? Denmark is that little peninsula north of Germany that reaches out into the north sea.

    • @jamie5140
      @jamie5140 4 роки тому +11

      George Pittas not an iSorrow subscriber I see, never mind then. I’m well aware it is real pal, it’s a running joke from another channel spiff used to sometimes play with

    • @antiinline
      @antiinline 4 роки тому +17

      I'm from sweden, now live in Denmark. This is how it used to be, but it's like this no more. We are still called like Larsson (son of Lars), or Gustafsson (son of Gustaf), but the actual Gustaf lived like a hundred years ago. Nobody really knows who Gustaf or Lars was. When we switched to having family names, people just took their title or parent, and made it their last name/family name.
      So yeah, everyone has family names, the family is just named after some bloke.
      It's like how in the UK, all the Potters are not actually, you know, potters by profession. Just by name.

  • @tobystefaan1112
    @tobystefaan1112 4 роки тому +63

    Haha yes hello my fellow guge’s

  • @andregon4366
    @andregon4366 4 роки тому +29

    You're a Guge, you're a Guge, EVERYONE'S A GUGE!

  • @bvd90
    @bvd90 3 роки тому +40

    Kinda funny watching you take over Finland as a swedish :D Didn't know CK2 was so historically accurate game!

  • @Andy-jq5yw
    @Andy-jq5yw 4 роки тому +101

    Alright, hear me out:
    Beyonce fans: Beyhive
    Doctor Who fans: Whovians
    My Little pony fans: Bronies
    Spiffing Brit Fans: Guges

    • @cptpoell9113
      @cptpoell9113 4 роки тому

      Andy Dont like it anymore, it has 69 likes!!!

  • @aoifecassidy6338
    @aoifecassidy6338 4 роки тому +146

    Me watching this: He has to be exaggerating
    3 days later: Huh, India's getting uppity again

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому +1

      Interesting. I have got to try this. I used retinues before, as a Finnish pagan, and they were great. I can only imagine how well they'll do for a VIKING.

  • @wickedwildhog5894
    @wickedwildhog5894 4 роки тому +81

    Me: Actually lives in Angermanland
    Spiff: Takes over the world using Angermanland
    Me: Im not even mad, that's impressive!

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому +1

      Nice!

    • @rbck8826
      @rbck8826 3 роки тому +1

      Its ångermanland and means regret man land.

  • @Ducky1033
    @Ducky1033 4 роки тому +84

    Spiff: no one uses retinues
    Me: With my 8000 retinue

    • @GustavusAdolphus2
      @GustavusAdolphus2 4 роки тому +1

      You are the ultimate Guge

    • @crisalexcris15
      @crisalexcris15 4 роки тому +1

      40k was the best i did but i think you can go beyound that, but life is short in CK2

    • @slasher8765
      @slasher8765 4 роки тому +3

      Its all i really used in the Byzantine empire, them cataphracts

    • @Hachimaro
      @Hachimaro 4 роки тому +1

      ​@@slasher8765 Camels are by far the strongest :P Cataphract retinue consists of heavy cavalry and horse archers, which are both utter garbage.

    • @neloverg3774
      @neloverg3774 4 роки тому

      @@Hachimaro but that LC+HC counter charge or crouched lance charge is MWAH. Kill a norse so hard he becomes a horse

  • @AdurianJ
    @AdurianJ 4 роки тому +26

    Decietful - "I'm 17 i promise"

  • @vaciuxfox435
    @vaciuxfox435 2 роки тому +18

    Damn my Guge has grown as a content creator

  • @amethystgamer852
    @amethystgamer852 4 роки тому +161

    "No one uses retinues" They're literally vital.

    • @jungletrouble8296
      @jungletrouble8296 4 роки тому +1

      That's why I kept losing battles even thoug my army was bigger, at least I learned something today.

    • @aenorist2431
      @aenorist2431 4 роки тому +13

      You cannot play a decent game of CK2 without them, and never could.
      Brit just discovered this weird thing called money in monopoly, its totally weird ...
      (The 'exploit' is the paying with prestige while they make you more prestige then they cost)

    • @lorddashdonalddappington2653
      @lorddashdonalddappington2653 4 роки тому +12

      @Herdan Hm, yeah it's almost like being a tribal pagan has some downsides that can fuck you up if you don't literally cheat lmao.

    • @teun911
      @teun911 4 роки тому +3

      @@aenorist2431 the only exploit is that you can keep them like that after feudalizing.

    • @polktech
      @polktech 4 роки тому +5

      Yeah they really are. Also his army would get fucking slapped in a fight with any roughly equal sized civilzed army.

  • @felinecube4953
    @felinecube4953 4 роки тому +88

    Hey my Guges, what’s cracking?

    • @belisarius6949
      @belisarius6949 4 роки тому +10

      hi guge

    • @vanyel_etc8695
      @vanyel_etc8695 4 роки тому +9

      Huge guge to you my dude

    • @Abysswalker8220
      @Abysswalker8220 4 роки тому +9

      Greetings fellow Guges. I hope all is well in Gugetopia

    • @rubenderegge8198
      @rubenderegge8198 4 роки тому +10

      Hey my Guge, it's really tea-ing today... what's boiling with you?

    • @mizuki8712
      @mizuki8712 4 роки тому +7

      Your guge here, it's been a nice day.

  • @josefjakobson586
    @josefjakobson586 4 роки тому +16

    Ah yes, I remember learning about Henry tgr immortal of Ångermanland taking over the world in history class

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому

      And I remember Finnish Russia. But alas, it was not to be...

    • @Serrifin
      @Serrifin 4 роки тому +1

      I must have missed that day in class probably happened between the class about Austria taking over the world, and Japan taking over the world

  • @mikewood8815
    @mikewood8815 4 роки тому +13

    You know, on Monday when I get to work and ask someone, "did you have a good weekend MY GUGE?" I will get very strange looks and I blame you Spiff XD

  • @realdragonaspect
    @realdragonaspect 4 роки тому +13

    i do enjoy 100 stat man, i wouldnt even mind a legit play through as well! keep up the good work.... brb tea cup is empty

  • @Hiroakiarai88
    @Hiroakiarai88 2 роки тому +8

    I just wanna say this video got me into ck2. Thank you

  • @slipperycipher9889
    @slipperycipher9889 4 роки тому +70

    Spiff - 'Retinues are over-priced and bad'
    Also Spiff - *Laughs in tribal*

    • @ProfessionalProfessorPat
      @ProfessionalProfessorPat 4 роки тому +7

      Everyone uses retinues, army comp control is op.

    • @slipperycipher9889
      @slipperycipher9889 4 роки тому +1

      @@ProfessionalProfessorPat Yeah but a lot of people can't be bothered to work them out

    • @mrjack08722
      @mrjack08722 4 роки тому +3

      @@slipperycipher9889 retinues are easy. Pretty sure its only newer players who dont bother using them. A standing army is incredible for boat bombing 1 day before declaring war and alot of other things.

    • @gonzalodohrmanngareis2493
      @gonzalodohrmanngareis2493 4 роки тому

      MrJack08722 highkey you can cripple an enemy kingdom before they gather

    • @slipperycipher9889
      @slipperycipher9889 4 роки тому

      @@gonzalodohrmanngareis2493 I suppose but a lot of players think it would be better to put tech elsewhere for feudal

  • @MrRonny6
    @MrRonny6 4 роки тому +8

    I always love when I see that my guge Spiffing uploaded CK2!

  • @daltoncrow6486
    @daltoncrow6486 2 роки тому +11

    I imagine prestige paying for your troops is akin to people throwing baskets of food and money at you as you walk by

  • @MrAlsPals
    @MrAlsPals 4 роки тому +50

    Colour me British: Global Edition

  • @TheArtistKnownAsNooblet
    @TheArtistKnownAsNooblet 4 роки тому +82

    "were gonna start as a Germanic pagan"
    Wait, is there another way to play CK2?

    • @jaxusr235
      @jaxusr235 4 роки тому +3

      Jonathon Hardee I mean. I’ve always enjoyed playing on Sardinia or the two islands off the eastern coast of Iberia.

    • @auraguard0212
      @auraguard0212 4 роки тому +5

      There's also 9/15/1066 Ireland, 12/26/1066 Cornwall, & 867 Karen.

    • @Pchlster
      @Pchlster 4 роки тому +5

      Once you go viking... everything else just feels like a waste of time.

    • @omegasrevenge
      @omegasrevenge 4 роки тому +1

      I enjoy playing as a family of Venice a lot, destroying your competition, becoming doge, making insane gold and conquering land from surrounding kingdoms and joining the scholar society to build up a library of overpowered magnum opus books.

    • @Pchlster
      @Pchlster 4 роки тому +3

      But when we're using the ruler designer, there's nothing stopping you from being a Germanic Pagan Doge of Venice. ;)
      Honestly, it's a fun, if ridiculous playstyle.

  • @OleCrankyGamer
    @OleCrankyGamer 4 роки тому +72

    Spiff: "Who's even heard of Cumania?"
    KCD players: Why Henry, who has come to visit has heard of such things after a stop at the Baths, Jesus Christ be Praised!

  • @wrillwastaken
    @wrillwastaken 4 роки тому +13

    We, the guges must be the most friendly nation!
    All of you fellow guges are great warriors and wizards!

  • @Sharnoy1
    @Sharnoy1 4 роки тому +5

    Spiff's pronunciation of Swedish and Finnish names is pure (comedy) gold ^^

  • @internetcitizen7633
    @internetcitizen7633 4 роки тому +32

    Spiff: *Calls regretmanland "angermanland".*
    Me: "I wish".

  • @arafdi
    @arafdi 4 роки тому +48

    "Retinues are expensive!"
    Me: *types 'cash' in console command*

    • @arafdi
      @arafdi 4 роки тому +20

      @@IchigoMait tribal retinues, kinda. Since they cost prestige. Feudals (which are the majority of factions on CK2) do cost gold. Chill bruv.

    • @maverick9275
      @maverick9275 4 роки тому +4

      @@IchigoMait you've clearly never played the game or at the very least feudalism. Only pagans get free retinues (prestige and piety)

  • @keanudirkse541
    @keanudirkse541 4 роки тому +39

    Whats up my Guges. Never been this early before

  • @mattcorr5597
    @mattcorr5597 4 роки тому +1

    Having a full on playthrough of this from you wouldn't be half bad, ur a very entertaining host

  • @ricmrp
    @ricmrp 4 роки тому +11

    How to recruit Grizzly bears and pay them with tiny crowns: a tutorial

  • @Slapdash_86
    @Slapdash_86 4 роки тому +10

    Why hello my fellow tea drinking Guges
    Ma Guges I do believe that we should continue referring to ourselves as Guges in all future videos

  • @PuncakeLena
    @PuncakeLena 4 роки тому +26

    So, how are we going to war?
    Everyone: Swordsmen, paid with money!
    Spiffing: MEN WITH POINTY STICKS PAID WITH PRESTIGE

  • @vegetableman3911
    @vegetableman3911 4 роки тому +201

    Germany: We will create lebensraum and only aryan races
    Spiff: Hold my tea

  • @no_one_of_that_name_here
    @no_one_of_that_name_here 4 роки тому +9

    100 stat man please and thank you. I'm having a lovely tea by the way.

  • @omppusolttu5799
    @omppusolttu5799 4 роки тому +8

    Pohjanmaa: Exists
    Spiff: Pyöhmänmua.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому

      I like to play as Finns and turn all those places back to their native names.

  • @SThapper
    @SThapper 4 роки тому +42

    Ångermanland more or less translates to “land of men with regrets”... so they would indeed be angry!

  • @sebbes333
    @sebbes333 4 роки тому +37

    As a Swede, this is history accurate.

  • @captainchekhov2055
    @captainchekhov2055 4 роки тому +3

    Tried this while playing with a friend, and I came across two fun things/exploits:
    1) if you build up your retinue and then decide you want to upgrade from tribalism to, say, a merchant republic, the game apparently still thinks that that retinue cost prestige. The prestige cost does go up due to the drop in retinue cap, but still doesn’t cost any gold. Does not hold for retinue built afterwards though.
    2) turns out that, if you are playing as a vassal of your friend, you do not generate any threat and defensive pacts cannot be formed against you. Therefore, if you play as a vassal, you can conquer with impunity. Combined with the special conquest of any costal or border territory for Germanic pagans, and fun things can be done...
    Perfectly balanced as all things should be, thanks CK2

    • @Oblithian
      @Oblithian 4 роки тому

      This is useful information

  • @cerealsalad9296
    @cerealsalad9296 4 роки тому +19

    Ångermanland in swedish means ”regretmanland”

    • @budmeister
      @budmeister 4 роки тому +2

      So anger leads to regret?

    • @ebi_tempura
      @ebi_tempura 4 роки тому +1

      @@budmeister regret leads to suffering
      Suffering leads to hate
      And hate leads to... The dark side
      Hmmmm. Sith Lord this Brit is...

    • @MorpH2k
      @MorpH2k 4 роки тому

      The worst part is that paradox, the maker of this game is Swedish but they stiłl didn't put the ring on the A. All Swedes will know what I mean.

    • @cerealsalad9296
      @cerealsalad9296 4 роки тому

      Åhhh ja

  • @zipp4everyone263
    @zipp4everyone263 4 роки тому +44

    *Sees that he's the son of Harry and is named Harrysson* "This game has an incredible naming system" ... Scandinavia and Iceland: Are our countries games to you?! =P

    • @SilverionX
      @SilverionX 4 роки тому

      A lot of countries used to have this naming system, it just stuck with us for a long time and became regular last names that didn't change each generation.

  • @WikterRor2807
    @WikterRor2807 4 роки тому +4

    Immortality does change a lot... Especially with retiunes, as the more you live the more prestige you get

  • @acreepykiwi6788
    @acreepykiwi6788 4 роки тому +21

    If there was ever a video that should have been sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends...

  • @willh8950
    @willh8950 4 роки тому +13

    Spiff: Id like better land
    Brittany: ahh, no?
    Spiff: *THATS NOT VERY GUGE OF YOU*

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 роки тому +1

      This is also awesome because Guge follows Bon which is the best religion.

  • @lesath7883
    @lesath7883 2 роки тому +2

    I have been looking for strata for CK2.
    Thanks, Guge!

  • @larryh2099
    @larryh2099 4 роки тому +12

    The Spiffing Brit: "No one uses retinues"
    I have over *100k* retinues in one of my roman reformation ironman games.

    • @quesma444
      @quesma444 4 роки тому +1

      Exactly, and those retinues are so damn powerful.

    • @jakej2680
      @jakej2680 3 роки тому +3

      They're so useful for keeping vassals in line. Also for curbstomping annoying raiders

  • @crusher4973
    @crusher4973 4 роки тому +25

    0:00 anyone wanna tell spiff pikemen only do damage in the melee phase
    edit: wow 25 likes thanks

  • @forestofsecrets7273
    @forestofsecrets7273 4 роки тому +7

    "develope a stutter and youll instantly loose four years off your life"
    oh! thats why i sound like a crying child???? (and i assume my lisp has part in it, too.)

  • @EwolvedOwl
    @EwolvedOwl 4 роки тому +7

    Aww for one second I thought 100 stat horse was back!

  • @Jrider-kv1oo
    @Jrider-kv1oo 4 роки тому +45

    Hey my GUGES how are y’all cups of Yorkshire tea wondering since never had any

    • @thatrealba
      @thatrealba 4 роки тому

      I will have to get back to you after I finish my cup of Kooliad, my Guge.

    • @jakedude236
      @jakedude236 4 роки тому +2

      I bought some on Amazon, it's actually pretty good and fairly inexpensive lol

    • @felixscott701
      @felixscott701 4 роки тому +1

      Genuinely was my favourite tea since a child.
      Source: I am very English

    • @Hubert_Cumberdale_
      @Hubert_Cumberdale_ 4 роки тому

      @@felixscott701 But are you a guge?

    • @noir-4092
      @noir-4092 4 роки тому

      Idk my guge

  • @detritus5151
    @detritus5151 3 роки тому +1

    Do you absolutely have to break every game you touch? - Fabulous, keep up the good work. I just started a playthrough, but I think it's time for a new one (insert evil laugh)🧐

  • @jiro6172
    @jiro6172 4 роки тому +22

    Mongolian army: highly trained army on horses.
    Spiffing Britt: bunch of Guges with sticks running in a general direction.

    • @DurzoBlunts
      @DurzoBlunts 4 роки тому +7

      Guges*

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 4 роки тому +2

      And yet the Spiffing Brits army is more effective.

    • @1ManRandom
      @1ManRandom 4 роки тому

      Sorow Fame Sorow Fame Sorow Fame Trust me, as someone who watched a Aquitanian army of mostly heavy infantry/cavalry wipe the floor with a light infantry-based Malian army 3 times its size, a horde of light infantry will only get you so far. It works fine here since most of his enemies are smaller tribal, light-infantry heavy nations, but those 11k troops of his aren’t going to do terribly well against a heavy infantry-based army (especially if their commanders are roughly equal) unless Spiffing’s army significantly outnumbers them.