TOTAL WAR MEDIEVAL 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Assassin Only Challenge

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • Medieval 2 Total War Is a fantastic grand strategy game from creative assembly. It was the game to follow on from Rome Total War one of my favourite strategy games. The Total War Franchise combines elements of 4x strategy with RTS battles perfectly simulated to be historically authentic. Sadly however what if you are interested in the War side of Total War. What if instead we add an extra funny challenge to the mix! We throw war out of the window and embrace a unique form of pacifism! We attempt the Assassin Only Challenge in Medieval 2. So today The Spiffing Brit will be discovering is Medieval 2 Total War Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits! Or If the Assassin Only Challenge is broken and potentially too much of a glitch in the game.
    This video game exploit video will be jam packed with a best bits funny moments montage style of editing similar to that of Valefisk, Robbaz and RTgame. So sit back relax and grab a cup of tea to enjoy with the spiffing brit!
    Magestic Merch: freshmerch.fm/...
    Patreon: / spiffing
    Twitter: @thespiffingbrit
    Discord: / discord
    title: MEDIEVAL 2 TOTAL WAR IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Assassin Only Challenge
    Last Total War Video: TOTAL WAR WARHAMMER 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Infinite Money Slave Challenge
    #funny #montage #Medieval2

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @FlawedFabrications
    @FlawedFabrications 4 роки тому +1198

    tbh I'd probably hide myself in a castle and surround myself with priests if all my family members kept getting constantly and inevitably assassinated too

    • @MrEshah
      @MrEshah 4 роки тому +66

      I think the AI was holding a lovely coronation for the new king. Probably thought it to be nice to give the poor bastard a nice send off party.

    • @endo4137
      @endo4137 4 роки тому +16

      But the assassin would be disguised as a priest!

    • @SacreBleuPelican
      @SacreBleuPelican 4 роки тому +24

      Granted, one out of 20 priests protecting you is an assassin

    • @spynyi
      @spynyi 4 роки тому +8

      But what if the one being protected is the assassin?

    • @elysium7242
      @elysium7242 4 роки тому +6

      *Confused Milanese noises*

  • @sockmonkey1994
    @sockmonkey1994 4 роки тому +907

    Advisor: Every noble is being assassinated when they go out, what should we do?
    The King: You're right, a brisk walk through the market does sound nice

    • @ZombboniZZ
      @ZombboniZZ 4 роки тому +104

      Advisor: Doesn't that make you easier to assassinate
      The King: Don't be silly. It's the nobles that are being assassinated, not kings.

    • @whoareyouyouareclearlylost323
      @whoareyouyouareclearlylost323 4 роки тому +11

      @@ZombboniZZ lol

    • @dk-sky3820
      @dk-sky3820 4 роки тому +45

      The King: Don't worry about my protection, that's what 100 ballistas are for.

  • @th3highwayman
    @th3highwayman 4 роки тому +1279

    "My lord, the King has died. You are to become King."
    "No, no, oh god, no!"

  • @JohnDoe-ds8um
    @JohnDoe-ds8um 4 роки тому +702

    "The opening move is just stealing things from France"
    Ah, the time old English strategy

    • @tiacat11
      @tiacat11 4 роки тому +9

      Don't look now but you need just one more like.

    • @KillerofGods
      @KillerofGods 3 роки тому +2

      Why just have one more like?

    • @Mygg_Jeager
      @Mygg_Jeager 3 роки тому +1

      And German. ;)

    • @JohnSmith-kg2rt
      @JohnSmith-kg2rt 3 роки тому +2

      @@Mygg_Jeager and anyone else

  • @AsianPersuation24x7
    @AsianPersuation24x7 4 роки тому +1943

    If your on a boat and that somehow makes you IMMUME to assassins they obviously haven’t played Skyrim...

    • @TheMordpheus
      @TheMordpheus 4 роки тому +140

      or watched the Trailer from Witcher II Assassins of Kings .... Spoiler Kings are dying!

    • @Pienimusta
      @Pienimusta 4 роки тому +18

      or Witcher 2

    • @fatrobin72
      @fatrobin72 4 роки тому +18

      well since Skyrim was barely a twinkle in Todd Howards eye when this came out... the same year as Oblivion...
      as for the "what about Witcher 2" peeps... well since the staff of CD Project Red were possibly playing this game when polishing the gem (or was it PC stress test) that was The Witcher (1) I am sure those Tim travelling masters of CA had seen that scene and disagreed heavily with it when deciding that this game would have the glorious feature (technical term) that boats were not places for assassinations

    • @teaappreciationindividual505
      @teaappreciationindividual505 4 роки тому +6

      Someone clearly should have told Titus Mede that the tactics that he played were for the wrong game

    • @TheArklyte
      @TheArklyte 4 роки тому +1

      Boat? Assassins? *[Laughs in P-38G]* The only place we have not assassinated anyone is space. _Yet..._

  • @JARiS1005
    @JARiS1005 4 роки тому +1036

    This game is worthy of a remaster. We need it upgraded.

    • @bakersmileyface
      @bakersmileyface 4 роки тому +82

      Medieval 3 would be great too.

    • @JARiS1005
      @JARiS1005 4 роки тому +23

      @Crawling Chaos it's heavily outdated and unoptimized. I'm sure you can appreciate a more polished experience with the same mechanics.

    • @ahappybadger302
      @ahappybadger302 4 роки тому +52

      @@JARiS1005 If CA just optimizes it better and just add better grahphics then it will be perfect. I don't want anyting fancy new to be added tbh

    • @Axelerati0n
      @Axelerati0n 4 роки тому +31

      @@ahappybadger302 Yeah, the AI could use a serious revamp as well. Their diplomatic behaviour is sometimes outright nonsensical. Like Denmark sieging my english cities when my empire is the entirety of the British Isles and the whole atlantic/north sea coastline from Antwerp to Leon, with marriage alliances with France, HRE and Poland, perfect relations with the pope and my cardinal in the papal throne. You could have taken the trade rights and thrived, Danes, but no, you had to expand west and now you get excommunicated, have a crusade called on your capital and now you get gang-raped from every direction by all christian nations at once, good job AI!
      Other than that I have always loved the game, there are just so many viable strategies and unpredictable events which guarantee that no two campaigns are ever the same. I still enjoy it to this day.

    • @theanglo-lithuanian1768
      @theanglo-lithuanian1768 4 роки тому +3

      1212 ad mos is pretty good

  • @benangell1403
    @benangell1403 4 роки тому +410

    "Its as easy as that" says Sir Spiff after save scumming throughout the entire episode...🤣

    • @Da_Shark
      @Da_Shark 4 роки тому +59

      Perfectly balanced time travel you mean

    • @benangell1403
      @benangell1403 4 роки тому +6

      Roberts though the almighty power of Yorkshire Tea!

    • @aidenpons9584
      @aidenpons9584 4 роки тому +12

      The really fun part is lategame when you have 20 assassins you don't even need to savescum, your chances are just so high and you can take the occasional loss!

    • @lynarisevershadeshadowfall1684
      @lynarisevershadeshadowfall1684 4 роки тому

      Worst part is you can just go to the files and unlock the factions, it's super easy, but longer videos more revenue I guess. :3

    • @aidenpons9584
      @aidenpons9584 4 роки тому +23

      @@lynarisevershadeshadowfall1684 Well, if you were watching Spiff for the actual technical exploits you're possibly watching the wrong channel or should watch at 2x speed. I watch Spiff for THE GLORY OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE, the shameless plugs of the blessing that is Yorkshire Tea, and generall Spifcrackery. :P

  • @wotwott2319
    @wotwott2319 4 роки тому +1182

    Spiff: "I'm going to assassinate the entire royal family of the Milanese"
    Milan: *aggressively makes so many babies so that spiff can never assassinate them all*

    • @slashshooter003
      @slashshooter003 4 роки тому +71

      Well, I guess the Milanese (AI) is... "Productively" aggresive. =)

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +28

      Hello there citizen of the mighty British empire I need u to assassinate a milanese head of state

    • @Elyseon
      @Elyseon 4 роки тому +12

      Fuckers...

    • @hetecks1385
      @hetecks1385 4 роки тому +4

      @@bruhdude2725 oh
      I'm from a time that there's a thing called "peace" in the world

    • @Drebolaskan
      @Drebolaskan 4 роки тому +17

      @@hetecks1385 Don't make me send my assassin in after you

  • @PenguinWithInternetAccess
    @PenguinWithInternetAccess 4 роки тому +709

    The only thing I like to do in this game is create gigantic armies led by bots and watch them fight with the Lord of the rings music playing ominously in the background

    • @ThePiranha77
      @ThePiranha77 4 роки тому +78

      May I introduce you to a mod called Third Age total war? Its literally that but with fully changed map and units to the whole middle earth :D and if you want even better go for the divide and conquer submod of third age which is developed still and expands game so much

    • @h0llygh0st
      @h0llygh0st 4 роки тому +12

      @@ThePiranha77 This is one of the best mods I've ever played, shame no big UA-camrs have picked up on it yet.

    • @AraAraMedia
      @AraAraMedia 4 роки тому +1

      @@h0llygh0st Big total war youtubers play the 3rd age mod a lot?

    • @colleyflower7408
      @colleyflower7408 4 роки тому +3

      @@h0llygh0st Pixelated Apollo and LegendOfTotalWar dont count?

    • @kchgamer1788
      @kchgamer1788 4 роки тому +4

      h0llygh0st look into the total war UA-camr community. Pixelated Apollo, JackiFish, lion heart, they all play Third age.

  • @jovandimitrijekolaric2549
    @jovandimitrijekolaric2549 4 роки тому +298

    France - France
    Germany - Germany
    Balkans - that region over there

  • @HiddenInTheTruth
    @HiddenInTheTruth 3 роки тому +323

    He clearly thought the nobility was cursed with all the random accidental deaths and weird timeline issues so he surrounded himself with priests to try and ward the evil spirits. Didn't work but good effort anyway.

  • @krischan67
    @krischan67 4 роки тому +41

    Actually, if you just reload the same savegame again and again, the second assination attempt will lead to the same result all the time, i.e. if you fail at the second try, all susequent attempts at the particular target will fail as well (except you have multiple assassins and try a defferent order of attempts). In order to balance this unfair glitch, you have to save the game again right after reloading, but before trying again. That way, the random number generator will generate different values next time and lead to yet another new chance, in case the second attempt fails as well. In that manner, you can have infinitely many attempts.

  • @oliverjones1000
    @oliverjones1000 4 роки тому +516

    Enemy lord: why, why do I feel like this man has tried to kill me before
    Spiffing: this... is requiem

    • @ChosenInvisiball
      @ChosenInvisiball 4 роки тому +28

      @@thespiffingbrit That's what she said

    • @imperialguardsmen9491
      @imperialguardsmen9491 4 роки тому +4

      Oh how the turn tables

    • @madafaka2666
      @madafaka2666 4 роки тому +18

      He also said Venice instead of Venezia, I hear angry ice noises coming this way!

    • @oliverjones1000
      @oliverjones1000 4 роки тому +2

      @@madafaka2666 WRRRRYYYY

    • @PobortzaPl
      @PobortzaPl 4 роки тому +4

      @@thespiffingbrit Milanese should had been spawning with "paranoid" trait.

  • @BlackWolf18C
    @BlackWolf18C 4 роки тому +546

    Royal guards: "You there!"
    Peasant farmer: "Me, sir?"
    Royal guard: "Yes, you. You're the King now. Congratulations."
    Spiff's assassin: Poison dart!
    Royal guards: "Oh no! The King is dead! Quick, find his son!"
    Spiff's assassin: "New target acquired."

    • @a5-806
      @a5-806 4 роки тому +6

      LOL

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +7

      Soory I'm going to have to stop you now you should go and pay tax

    • @joshuablackmon939
      @joshuablackmon939 4 роки тому

      This made me laugh

    • @conan2096
      @conan2096 3 роки тому

      poor hugh is getting some serious tennis elbow from all that stabbing.

  • @Force2reckonVods
    @Force2reckonVods 4 роки тому +2184

    "Sorry, we missed the target, you had a 95% chance to hit him"
    Sorry, when did we go back to playing XCom?
    Edit: *psst* guys we're only 200 ish likes away from spiffs comment, you should totally like this so we can take over :3c

    • @aidangame
      @aidangame 4 роки тому +102

      *PTSD INTENSIFIES*

    • @lawrencecole6527
      @lawrencecole6527 4 роки тому +2

      Hahaha =D

    • @sithlord5149
      @sithlord5149 4 роки тому +34

      XCOM be like that you stand right next to the alien and you still miss

    • @singleplayermoments
      @singleplayermoments 4 роки тому +15

      Oh dear, looks like XCOM isn’t the only game that punishes Spiff for exploiting them.

    • @Force2reckonVods
      @Force2reckonVods 4 роки тому +7

      @@sithlord5149 Over 500 hours in New XCom/Xcom 2 and as much in old XCom's. It do be like that.

  • @garretteverett2613
    @garretteverett2613 2 роки тому +8

    As a rule-follower who feels bound to play fairly and with historical accuracy in this kind of game, it's an absolute delight to hear you say things like "It's going to take a lot of attempts and a large amount of reloading but we ARE going to murder this man".
    I've also realized through watching your videos of Total War and older RTS games that there was a reason that I, an internet-less peasant, was always destroyed at LAN parties by my friends who had internet access at home. There was no way any of us would have been able to figure out some of these exploits without outside help.

  • @kennethpeterson7524
    @kennethpeterson7524 4 роки тому +216

    "Why do they have so many family members? Where do they keep coming from?"
    Well, you see Spiffing, when a mommy and a daddy love each very much, the wrestle naked, and nine months later a bird gives them a baby. I don't know where the birds get the babies, that is just one of life's great mysteries.

    • @Greninjia
      @Greninjia 4 роки тому +4

      @@thespiffingbrit I think they teleported into the nether tbh

    • @atocanboi409
      @atocanboi409 4 роки тому +11

      @@thespiffingbrit they have such an overpowered nation they could spawn in family members through a time portal

    • @maxhutto3056
      @maxhutto3056 4 роки тому +13

      Actually their reproduction rate is normal, the mothers just give birth to full grown adults.

    • @atocanboi409
      @atocanboi409 4 роки тому +8

      @@maxhutto3056 I'm not going to think about it too much

    • @Fopalope
      @Fopalope 4 роки тому +5

      So medieval 2 for both the player and the AI attempts to give factions as many family members as you have cities, so the game gives you adoption offers to bring new generals into the family, though the AI will go past this cap because ya know AI cheats

  • @Cybermat47
    @Cybermat47 3 роки тому +189

    Spiff: ‘You can unlock a faction just by killing all their family members!’
    M2TW: ‘nah’

    • @GirolamoZanchi_is_cool
      @GirolamoZanchi_is_cool Рік тому +2

      You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13

  • @gismogy
    @gismogy 4 роки тому +428

    Total war be like : Im going to send a big army to destroy you!!!
    Meanwhile
    Spiffing : here have a knife in your back

    • @AfferbeckBeats
      @AfferbeckBeats 4 роки тому +3

      Also works the other way around. Mwahaha I have my doom stacks all ready to go. Next ten turns surrounded by three different factions agents: general wounded, army halted, general assassinated, army poisoned, can't move because it's winter and you'll lose half your men...

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +1

      Hello Im going to have to tax you unless you serve the empire by assassinating a Iranian general

  • @malek0093
    @malek0093 4 роки тому +71

    6:55 "If you are on a boat, you're immortal to assassins"
    Letho from The Witcher 2 would like a word with you

  • @TheSecondPersona
    @TheSecondPersona 2 роки тому +99

    18:40
    Loading screen: "No one conquers who doesn't fight."
    Spiff: Hold my tea.

  • @jlcburr
    @jlcburr 4 роки тому +16

    Ah yes, I've done the assassin exploit many times myself. I surrounded Rome with assassins who proceeded to take out the Pope, then his replacement, then the next replacement, and so on. Must've gone through about 30 popes just for the hell of it.

    • @tigerwarrior1787
      @tigerwarrior1787 3 роки тому +3

      Papal Guard: "YOU THERE! YOU'RE THE EMERGENCY NEW POPE!"
      Assassin: *Rock*
      Papal Guard: "Ah crapbaskets..." *Sees Cardinal* "YOU THERE!!!"
      Assassin: "Aren't I supposed to be getting paid to do this?"

  • @oliverwalker5692
    @oliverwalker5692 4 роки тому +290

    "Making gold as Milan is about as easy as trying to get Denmark to capitulate"
    *Bokoen wants to know your location*

    • @esbech
      @esbech 4 роки тому +34

      As a Dane I do not appreciate that joke, we do not capitulate that easi... Well okay we do, but still!

    • @xshadow2042
      @xshadow2042 4 роки тому +1

      the snakey sneaky way

    • @bubbasbigblast8563
      @bubbasbigblast8563 4 роки тому +7

      @@esbech What you should really be ashamed of is losing the race to form the first viable Scandinavian kingdom to bloody Norway of all places. Norway! Did you all get lost looking at the fjords or something?

    • @lucasbeck1391
      @lucasbeck1391 4 роки тому +3

      @@bubbasbigblast8563 no we were busy farming with our flat plains and rivers

    • @FrobergDK
      @FrobergDK 4 роки тому +2

      @098765 Craper 4. And years of resistance.

  • @KazeNilrem
    @KazeNilrem 2 роки тому +39

    I get the feeling that the game had been fighting back against all the assassinations. Tug of war between them and the game populating new heirs. Other than changing the file, I do feel like the game came out as the victor.

    • @rubenheymans1988
      @rubenheymans1988 Рік тому

      that's by default , at least a faction heir and leader , you have to kill them both

  • @llbrainjoker5742
    @llbrainjoker5742 4 роки тому +165

    The Spifing Brit is a perfectly balanced channel.

    • @METALFREAK03
      @METALFREAK03 4 роки тому +18

      @@thespiffingbrit this is a perfectly balanced reply

    • @wesleycowan363
      @wesleycowan363 4 роки тому +14

      This is a perfectly balanced comment chain.

    • @michaelmaclean9739
      @michaelmaclean9739 4 роки тому +13

      @@wesleycowan363 that was a perfectly balanced observation

    • @mitsvanmitsvanio6106
      @mitsvanmitsvanio6106 4 роки тому +12

      that was a perfectly balanced opinion

    • @blunderingfool
      @blunderingfool 4 роки тому +6

      @@mitsvanmitsvanio6106 That was a horrendously balanced statement.

  • @Mechabang
    @Mechabang 2 роки тому +27

    Spiffing Brit: I'm going to assassinate all of the Milan nobility!
    Milan: Jokes on you, we're Catholic!

  • @SoullessCast
    @SoullessCast 4 роки тому +106

    Only after watching Spiff on the Yogs streams so much have I realized just how much deeper he pushes his voice for these videos XD

    • @jacobellinger8027
      @jacobellinger8027 4 роки тому +1

      It's post editing that does this

    • @bl4cksp1d3r
      @bl4cksp1d3r 4 роки тому +21

      @@jacobellinger8027 that's.... that's not how editing works. You can clearly hear when he's doing deeper voice and higher voice. People can deepen their voice you know

    • @KingofJ95
      @KingofJ95 4 роки тому +14

      @@jacobellinger8027 That's... One of the dumber things I've heard today...

    • @bl4cksp1d3r
      @bl4cksp1d3r 4 роки тому +1

      @S F "looks like". Ask Spiff if you want to know. Give me a proof please ^_^

    • @andrewstepanek8933
      @andrewstepanek8933 4 роки тому +1

      @@bl4cksp1d3r Do you think he narrates everything live?

  • @theanarchonazbolinquisition
    @theanarchonazbolinquisition 4 роки тому +13

    Spiff gives a new meaning to save-scumming

  • @keizervanenerc5180
    @keizervanenerc5180 4 роки тому +150

    Next: Pikeman are perfectly balanced in Rome Total War

    • @bl4cksp1d3r
      @bl4cksp1d3r 4 роки тому +27

      Defending towns against basically anything with militia pikemen 👌

    • @huckthatdish
      @huckthatdish 4 роки тому +11

      Still OP but they are annoying as shit when you are on the offensive thanks to the uh... creative path finding in Rome Total War. But on the open field pikes + archers + a bit of cavalry to spice things up on the flanks is a guaranteed win.

    • @Jungstertag
      @Jungstertag 4 роки тому +7

      Anyone seen that bridge exploit where they charge into your phalanx without even fighting and instantly die?

    • @radoslawpiotrpaszek3257
      @radoslawpiotrpaszek3257 4 роки тому +7

      Pikemen have poor stats, what you need however are greek armoured hoplites who have ridicoulously high stats and you get very fast access to them, in I believe 5 turn. After that none of the faction can conquer your cities.

    • @cerdi_99
      @cerdi_99 4 роки тому +1

      i remember playing as egypt and omg hoplites do be like that

  • @joeykrack42
    @joeykrack42 3 роки тому +27

    Still one of my favorite games ever, and I actually ran a Venetian campaign yesterday lol.

    • @revolutionishere
      @revolutionishere 2 роки тому

      The beginning for me is always ridiculously hard, so many rivals at home and abroad.

  • @APocketMonster
    @APocketMonster 4 роки тому +60

    After watching this...I'd LOVE to see Spiff play Fire Emblem xD
    "How do you miss a 95%?" *resets*

    • @baseballjustin5
      @baseballjustin5 4 роки тому +5

      Or Xcom...

    • @asuragaming6671
      @asuragaming6671 4 роки тому +7

      @@baseballjustin5 hes done xcom. One of his more recent videos actually

    • @frknspacewizardbrett6044
      @frknspacewizardbrett6044 4 роки тому +1

      _Gets blank level up_
      "How did you even manage that?" *restarts chapter*

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому

      After seeing you I would love to see you pay tax

    • @skeletonwar4445
      @skeletonwar4445 4 роки тому

      @@frknspacewizardbrett6044 At least in Three Houses you can just go back in time and do a different action to change the rng.

  • @frisianmouve
    @frisianmouve 4 роки тому +75

    Milanese king: you over there! you're my son now, I'm going to adopt you!
    Nonono, please have mercy my lord, I still have so much to live for.
    King gets stabbed, congratulations you're the king! Alright as my first decree I'm going to adopt that random peasant over there because I don't like the way he looks at me, king sips on poisoned wine, guards get that peasant that's running away he's the king now!

  • @dominicperez3777
    @dominicperez3777 4 роки тому +74

    > Am into 20 minutes of this video
    > Realizes: "Hey, shouldn't you formally declare war on Milan and then do the assassinations?" 🤔
    > This happens: 21:02

    • @KGPeiper
      @KGPeiper 4 роки тому +2

      Yeah, the same thing with Scotland

  • @Yakkahboo
    @Yakkahboo 4 роки тому +61

    When this started I was like, "Im just boring I'd just unlock in the game files" so after watching the glorious downfall of Milan and Scotland Im glad to see that the game didnt let me down and required the stupid unlock anyways.
    Anyways, next, play as the Papal States!

    • @Damo2690
      @Damo2690 4 роки тому +4

      Papal states are legit broken for a player

  • @glenngriffon8032
    @glenngriffon8032 4 роки тому +128

    TW: If someone is on a boat they are immune to assassins.
    Edward Kenway wishes to know your location.

    • @lucasbeck1391
      @lucasbeck1391 4 роки тому +2

      Didn't you play ac3?
      Haytham survived

    • @HandsomeGamerGuy
      @HandsomeGamerGuy 4 роки тому

      @@lucasbeck1391 And yet Edward died. And Haythem died too

    • @MechWarrior894
      @MechWarrior894 4 роки тому

      I mean, it's kind of hard to sneak up on a boat at sea.

    • @sekliley7587
      @sekliley7587 4 роки тому

      I forget, but was Edward an assassin?

    • @joltyjivs1518
      @joltyjivs1518 3 роки тому

      @@sekliley7587 no he was not he just worked with them.

  • @darklink604
    @darklink604 4 роки тому +44

    Spiffing Brit: Give peace a chance.
    Dark brotherhood: We gonna need more blades aren't we?

  • @ricktickb00m
    @ricktickb00m 4 роки тому +151

    "38% of the time, it works every time..."

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +5

      Shhhh don't worry take tea...
      He knows to much activate 28% chance

  • @Markfr0mCanada
    @Markfr0mCanada 4 роки тому +167

    And this is why game developers started developing anti-save scum mechanics.

    • @Rookiebatman
      @Rookiebatman 4 роки тому +48

      I've only watched a few videos from this channel so far, so I don't know if the savespamming is a regular thing, but I kinda feel like it defeats the whole purpose. Wouldn't practically every game be completely broken if you just used save scum?

    • @dmyt58
      @dmyt58 4 роки тому +29

      @@Rookiebatman this game is kinda broken anyway. As milan you can get 30 cities by turns 30 without using any exploits. Turn 1 capture Venice, buy bologna, capture Florence. turn 2 was Marseille and the Island fortress.
      For Venice just send 1 general, 1 spear and 1 mailed knight and besiege. AI will attack since their force is stronger but you can simply defeat them. and get the city. Similar tactics in use for other cities. Bologna only cost like 2-3 grand so its pretty cheap + free units.

    • @dmyt58
      @dmyt58 4 роки тому +1

      @Alvi Syahri Dont think so but i havent played anything except legendary in ages

    • @joa65
      @joa65 4 роки тому

      @@Rookiebatman Agreed.

    • @joa65
      @joa65 4 роки тому +8

      @@dmyt58 Could be, but that guy dosen't show such mechanic, just lame save scumming.

  • @martincooper8289
    @martincooper8289 4 роки тому +57

    What you don't see:
    The ridiculous amount of time taken to save/load total war games. Would definitely be easier to play properly xD Great vid though.

    • @ironman2818
      @ironman2818 4 роки тому

      There's a hot key for both that you can use mid cutscene so it's actually as fast as your PC can reload the game. I don't remember what they are off the top of my head

    • @martincooper8289
      @martincooper8289 4 роки тому +2

      @@ironman2818 Ah cool, didn't know that to be fair, but I think total war games in general are usually slower at loading than other games if the pc was kept the same kinda thing, even like more graphical games, I think probably because it has to like load like so much data, the positions of all armies, what units are in them, what everything belongs to, all unit healths/xp's, as well as all of the graphical stuff.
      I don't really know why actually I'm just trying to justify it on behalf of CA (for some reason?). If you have a supercomputer you can ignore my comment. But I think if you tried some side by side testing, or just played a lot of Total War (as I do) you'd know what I mean.

    • @martincooper8289
      @martincooper8289 4 роки тому

      Ngl, even though I have Total War Medieval 2 collection on steam it's not actually installed so I can't compare with a high end computer using it (as to what I remember it being like) but Spiff does look like he was loading really fast, when I play TWWH2 these days it's still painful how long it takes with a good pc.

    • @Userius1
      @Userius1 4 роки тому

      @@martincooper8289 Rome 1 and Med 2 load almost instantly on any modern pc, low or high end.

    • @LilithNerevarine
      @LilithNerevarine 4 роки тому

      its pretty fast now, especially if installed on ssd

  • @kmpgos4158
    @kmpgos4158 4 роки тому +24

    May I suggest taking on "Fire Emblem: Three Houses."
    Not only it has so many mechanics that there must be a way to exploit them, but one of the core mechanics of this game are tea parties. You can both try to break the game and have tea with all students as much as you want. It's win win.

    • @AtomicArtumas
      @AtomicArtumas 4 роки тому

      I mean, honestly, if you want to just faceroll the game just play on normal, recruit and train Lysithea, then laugh as she solos everything as a 20/20/20.
      Or Catherine
      Or.... really anyone, technically.
      As far as actual exploits go though, I'd honestly be kinda amazed if you could actually find one.
      Only "real" exploit I know of is FE7's "take control of the enemy team via a mine" glitch and then trading Vaida's OP spear to a unit that drops their item so you can get the OP spear.

  • @dexybrd3280
    @dexybrd3280 4 роки тому +51

    When you had few Generals, you had a chance to adopt a General, and they become a family member which is why so many kept popping up for you.

    • @nigredoooalgown6245
      @nigredoooalgown6245 4 роки тому +3

      have not had....

    • @kingssorrow32
      @kingssorrow32 4 роки тому +1

      @@nigredoooalgown6245 technically this video was uploaded in the past, making had, not have, correct.

    • @kingssorrow32
      @kingssorrow32 4 роки тому

      @@nigredoooalgown6245 though he could have used a descriptive word before few, for example "when you had very few generals"
      To make the sentence more appealing

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому

      Why attack a country when you can sell them opium now pay your opium tax

    • @skeletonwar4445
      @skeletonwar4445 4 роки тому

      @@kingssorrow32 When talking about a book or movie (this video counting the same as a movie in this case) you use present.
      Also the comment was about the situation of the AI enemy, explaining why they had so many family members all the time, not Spiff's own situation.

  • @0292-q3l
    @0292-q3l 2 роки тому

    Every game is a 'perfectly balanced game with no exploits' to this channel... You're like a Parrott

    • @somber8233
      @somber8233 2 роки тому

      If you didn't get the memo. That's the point.

    • @0292-q3l
      @0292-q3l 2 роки тому

      @@somber8233 Well done Captain obvious. I was just stating his titles are so repetitive that it's parrott-like.

    • @somber8233
      @somber8233 2 роки тому

      @@0292-q3l Who cares. If that's the entire point of his channel, his video titles are going to share a similar theme. It's just a dumb complaint and you need to hold your L for it.

    • @0292-q3l
      @0292-q3l 2 роки тому

      @@somber8233 I don't need to hold any L 😂, i disagree with the same title for every video. Doesn't mean I take an L for it you fool... You need to take an L for complaining that I dislike repetitive titles... Dont concern yourself with my opinions, it won't change anything lmao.

    • @somber8233
      @somber8233 2 роки тому

      @@0292-q3l I wasn't the one complaining like a baby about something stupid. I was calling you out. If you can't recognize the difference - 2 L's. it doesn't matter if you want to hold it or not. You lost.

  • @RobbieCargilly
    @RobbieCargilly 4 роки тому +7

    The Slough drop was so good :D

  • @TheHuskyFamily
    @TheHuskyFamily 3 роки тому +21

    still the best total war game... i hope there will be a medieval tw3, where only AI/visuals/diplomacy stuff is fixed,

  • @DominusRexDK
    @DominusRexDK 4 роки тому +57

    "Making gold as Milan is about as easy as trying to get Denmark to capitulate"
    I feel mildly offended now.

    • @aliasunknown4879
      @aliasunknown4879 4 роки тому +4

      But is he wrong?

    • @christiankongsted5084
      @christiankongsted5084 4 роки тому +1

      I feel fiercly offended. >:(

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 4 роки тому +1

      Denmark has enough armour piercing to hold off an entire panzer division.

    • @Citiy3
      @Citiy3 3 роки тому

      Well as a Dane i am mildly offended but it is not like he is wrong Denmark hasn't officialy forught back since the 1900-century not counting the 2100-century

  • @thesiixth7770
    @thesiixth7770 3 роки тому +3

    I bought this game back in 2006 and didnt kno what was goin on and took it back and picked up the original mount and blade for the first time . Years later im now playing Rome 2 and Bannerlord bc of that one day

    • @owen4108
      @owen4108 2 роки тому

      Sounds like a huge W ngl

  • @jamesglovecrazy
    @jamesglovecrazy 4 роки тому +5

    Congrats on 1M subs man! I love your content! ❤️

  • @zubbworks
    @zubbworks 4 роки тому +2

    Me and my friend Swilly Gym did this once.
    The Pope had soooo many assasins around his city at all times.
    They put the crown on the new pope's head, BAM!, crossbow bolt.

  • @AsianPersuation24x7
    @AsianPersuation24x7 4 роки тому +35

    My favorite part is when he said: “Fantastic!”

  • @ShAd0w0100
    @ShAd0w0100 Рік тому +2

    Ah, Medival II: Total War...
    My first introduction to the balanced art of savescumming.

  • @timetraveller7294
    @timetraveller7294 4 роки тому +16

    this reminds me of the one campaign in which the last Scottish nobleman died in a thunder storm near Edinburgh, balanced weather events xD

    • @timetraveller7294
      @timetraveller7294 4 роки тому

      @The Nova renaissance yeah, the game has some weather effects/events happening randomly...
      like erupting volcano, floods and storms. they can damage your army or in my case, kill the leader of a nation without a heir xD

  • @asdasdasdora
    @asdasdasdora 4 роки тому +38

    Honestly, playing the game as intended would be easier and MUCH less tedious, than continuously searching for the enemy faction members and reloading the game hundreds of times.

    • @jumbo4billion
      @jumbo4billion 4 роки тому +2

      It's more fun like this. All the total war games can be beaten using exactly the same formation and tactics for every battle.

    • @asdasdasdora
      @asdasdasdora 4 роки тому +12

      @@jumbo4billion It doesn't look like he's having much fun tho

    • @muglypunt968
      @muglypunt968 3 роки тому +4

      Lol who plays total war for fun

    • @Pink.andahalf
      @Pink.andahalf 21 день тому

      @@jumbo4billion Even Empire?

  • @yamatoclassmusashi8830
    @yamatoclassmusashi8830 4 роки тому +56

    Nobleman: *Exists*
    Assassins: "Its free real-estate."

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +1

      You: "exists"
      My empire: tax???

  • @poofa4009
    @poofa4009 4 роки тому +2

    Why is this better then a lot of recent games? Like, I want assassination cutscenes!

  • @oddpoppetesq.3467
    @oddpoppetesq.3467 4 роки тому +24

    I love the fact this came out now, right after someone gets assassinated and total war nearly breaks out 🤣🤣
    Spiff: *Give peace a chance*

  • @permeus2nd
    @permeus2nd 4 роки тому +4

    With how fast their realities are dropping it’s no wonder he was surrounded by priests, he knew it was only a matter of time.

  • @bastianstiefler3390
    @bastianstiefler3390 4 роки тому +21

    Haven't seen it yet, but I know my like will be well placed!

  • @PokemonButcher
    @PokemonButcher 4 роки тому

    I am including this in the D&D campaign I have been planning. Just think of it: A nation that had no armies, only assassins. Rather than diverting superfluous resources into training and sustaining a war machine, they needed only to invest their efforts in a few gifted specialists. They conquered anything they put their mind to through cunning, deceit, manipulation, subterfuge, stealth, and relentless, silent strikes from the dark, without ever fighting a battle. Once all leaders and their subsequent replacements were removed from a target nation, that nation's society fell into chaos. Then, the assassin-nation (ha) would put one of their own in the seat of power. It just makes sense!

  • @bruhhhhmoment4848
    @bruhhhhmoment4848 2 роки тому +3

    I wish they had these animations in other total war games I wanna see my spy dump British tea like it's 1773

  • @danletko
    @danletko 4 роки тому +1

    That assassin save-load is how I defeated the Mongols and Timurids in my Russia campaign.
    I also used it in my Venice campaign to make sure my priests always became Pope, and then those Popes died to be replaced with new Venetian popes whenever they grew to despise me.
    Then there was that curious circumstance where a Russian general of mine was bribed by the Portuguese, and somehow ended up as their King. When my scorned Grand Duke landed on the shores of Portugal fresh from conquering Britain, he initiated his invasion with the assassination of their traitorous Russian king.
    I love assassins

  • @theinformationstation5328
    @theinformationstation5328 4 роки тому +5

    I’ve just started watching the video and I’m so pumped to see this cause I’ve killed oh so many factions with targeted attacks and assassinations against enemy family members.
    Edit: I kinda object to this particular method. Save scumming is particularly egregious.

  •  2 місяці тому +1

    One way to train assasins without reloading all the time, is to sabotage mission them first, since it is more likely to succeed, then you can send them to do the assasination missions which will have 90% chance to succeed, until they have 10 ranks in assassination, and then you can just keep sending them to kill whatever targets you want.

  • @timothybartlett5493
    @timothybartlett5493 4 роки тому +5

    I just wanted to let you know that I had my first cup of Yorkshire tea yesterday, and it was a most excellent brew. Hats off to you good sir, and keep creating more quality content! :D

  • @SoccerBoyAP
    @SoccerBoyAP 4 роки тому +2

    8:37 - if at first you fail, reload your quicksave... and may the odds be ever in your favor.. oh no, reload quicksave again, there you go you got it!
    21:40 - honestly surprised you didn't just start here, I always mess with the game files to unlock things

  • @DauntlessAdonis
    @DauntlessAdonis 4 роки тому +37

    *public service announcement*
    " Remeber to be drinking your warm cup of tea everyone!"

    • @commandantkotin
      @commandantkotin 4 роки тому +2

      Or prepare for the consequences

    • @Da_Shark
      @Da_Shark 4 роки тому +1

      I'm afraid warm is not an option here in Canada

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 4 роки тому +1

      And remember to pay your tea tax

  • @PanzerShrek94
    @PanzerShrek94 3 роки тому +5

    Prepares to throw dagger at the king
    some pesky woman sees and screams
    throws the dagger at the woman and run off

  • @molybdaen11
    @molybdaen11 4 роки тому +3

    I am not even mad of all the reloading. Because I can see the amazing citations once again.

  • @engineeringtehmetals
    @engineeringtehmetals 4 роки тому +1

    I absolutely love watching you play these strategy war games that take place in Europe & the world!

  • @blackblood6478
    @blackblood6478 4 роки тому +6

    and thats the power of save scumming

  • @joefox8153
    @joefox8153 4 роки тому +1

    If anyone is interested, I know many many exploits on this game. Have played over 1000 hours, won with every nation, all on hardest difficulty. Not trying to flex, I just love this game and am willing to share my knowledge. Also this is the only game I ever created my own "balancing" mods to give the gameplay some flair... great, im an expert at a game thats older than some of the viewers watching this lol

  • @smcasas9367
    @smcasas9367 4 роки тому +5

    Remember Legendary Geishas in Shogun TW? Now that was an overpowered unit.

  • @robwri9544
    @robwri9544 3 роки тому

    My favourite TW exploit worked in Rome TW. Not sure about the others. I was struggling as a minor faction until I worked out that I could defend a huge castle with just two units of archers. A huge Roman army would lay siege and, having the cockiness of an army which outnumbered me 10 to 1, they would attack. How it works is this, you set fire to any battering rams they have, then you take your archers way off along the walls and they stop for a cup of tea. The enemy army swarm up ladders, open the main gate and flood in. Give them a minute or so to slowly march to the empty town square then move the archers back to the gate, capturing and closing it. The enemy is now completely trapped and the AI adopts the posture of a rabbit in a car's headlights. From here either the clock runs down or the towers with inexhaustible supplies of arrows cut them to shreds while they do absolutely nothing.

  • @ontaka5997
    @ontaka5997 2 роки тому +10

    The only issue I had with this game is that only family members could become generals.
    Other than that, it was great fun!
    I burnt tons of hours playing this game.

    • @antonkrieg3708
      @antonkrieg3708 Рік тому +2

      If a captain wins a heroic or lopsided victory he could be "man of the hour" and get promoted that way.

  • @Aurich88
    @Aurich88 4 роки тому

    Last time I played this, I went on a crusade with the maximum army size made entirely of pilgrims. Whipped up a few siege ladders and sent wave after wave of unarmed believers until the gatehouse fell under the weight of their corpses. My general enjoyed a leisurely stroll (shielded by devout hobos) to the city center, and bob's yer uncle.

  • @FuligJakab
    @FuligJakab 4 роки тому +4

    Glad to see medieval 2 here (also, rome total war would be great), but come on Spiff, you can do better! Show us some really cheesy exploits, not just quicksave&reload

  • @crocworks
    @crocworks 4 роки тому

    I'm surprised this video didn't contain the merchant stacking glitch. You can stick multiple merchants in the same army and then park the army on top of a trade good and all of the merchants will trade it when the game is balanced around only one merchant trading for each trade good spot.
    This is why Moors is the most OP faction in the campaign; they have the easiest access to Timbuktu which has ridiculous amounts of Gold and Ivory, and you can pretty much grab as much money as you want. When you've got 80 merchants trading gold in an area where they expect only 4 merchants to be trading, definitely breaking game balance. Worth another video imo :P
    If more exploits are desired, there's also the Jihad/Crusade movement exploit... although honestly, Jihads and Crusades are already broken considering the crazy amount of mercenaries and movement you can get even without actual exploits. IIRC, Moors should be able to easily call a Jihad if they get a high level Imam, whereas Catholic nations have to curry favor with the Pope to get their chance at a Crusade, so that's another point in their favor.

  • @yootooooooob
    @yootooooooob 4 роки тому +20

    Perfect... just made a cuppa

  • @benjiwis5228
    @benjiwis5228 4 роки тому +1

    Longbow men + Besiege + Woodspikes infront gate = Destroy mongols and any horsemen in whole game. That was how i cheesed the game + as you, Assassin domination! Pope excommunicated me? Kill, put my own on, repeat... Amazing game, good times

  • @DynamicProGamer
    @DynamicProGamer 4 роки тому +7

    I feel like this isn't really an exploit and really isn't unbalanced either, all you're doing is reloading when you don't get the outcome you want. You can do that in any game.

    • @thelastcasualty2696
      @thelastcasualty2696 4 роки тому +3

      Exactly, this video was boring and repetitive. The title says "Assassin Only Challenge", yet every single time he failed he reloaded. I don't see any "challenge" in that.

    • @joa65
      @joa65 4 роки тому

      Absolutely.

    • @joa65
      @joa65 4 роки тому

      @@thelastcasualty2696 100 % agreed!

  • @the3xtr3mist
    @the3xtr3mist 3 роки тому +1

    reminds me the good old days when I used to start training great assasins in the early game only with the purpose of assasinating the whole mongol horde warlords in a few turns before they even start to invade eastern cities

  • @JouleZeath
    @JouleZeath 4 роки тому +11

    14:34 Correction:
    "Being a _________ in the _________ ages when the Spiffing Brit is playing is a very dangerous and turbulent time to exist"

  • @swarley414
    @swarley414 4 роки тому +2

    24:15 "The early turns are basically about stealing things from France". German world war tactics in a nutshell.

  • @D64nz
    @D64nz 2 роки тому +3

    I love TW shogun 2, which is a remake of the game that started it all. TW is the perfect example of a games studio that did one thing great, and then kept finding new and creative ways to keep making great games. It a lot easier for the casual gamer than the paradox games. I love them, but every game takes a 10 hour course to learn the very basics.
    Meanwhile TW is ninja's and machine guns. Ok not together, but that totally needs to be a ninja action. I'd pay extra to supply the gattling gun just for the cut scene.

  • @davood123
    @davood123 4 роки тому +1

    you make the most scuffed looking games sound fun
    keep on drinking that tea

  • @jonathanraithel5726
    @jonathanraithel5726 4 роки тому +3

    If you say peasants are useless, you’ve obviously never used them to activate cannon towers and passively bombard a sieging army. Cheapest and 2nd most satisfying way to defeat the Timurids.

  • @dragnus12
    @dragnus12 4 роки тому +1

    I dont think anything died quite as quickly...
    As Spiff's enthusiasm for this game.

  • @danjbundrick
    @danjbundrick Рік тому +6

    Assassins with the Time Stone are unbeatable

  • @williamsessions4110
    @williamsessions4110 4 роки тому

    These old total war videos are superb, so amusing! I'm ordering some Yorkshire tea!

  • @totalwar1793
    @totalwar1793 4 роки тому +8

    LegendOfTotalWar: Hold my beer

  • @theregalproletariat
    @theregalproletariat 3 роки тому

    "poison blowdart technology"
    Hollow stick, spiky thing covered in mistletoe juice.

  • @sebbes333
    @sebbes333 4 роки тому +8

    29:39 "I've been *The Spiffing Britt* and I will *_SIEGE_* each and every one of you!"

  • @Wishersid
    @Wishersid 4 роки тому

    When i saw the title i kind of expected what its going to be, considering how PERFECTLY BALANCED this game is. I remember doing this and deleting factions from existence back in the day.

  • @Sir_Murderstein
    @Sir_Murderstein 4 роки тому +12

    "Who needs war? Give peace a chance!" - Spiff
    Are you sure, you're British? :D

    • @bl4cksp1d3r
      @bl4cksp1d3r 4 роки тому +1

      *stabs you with a knife* I've named this knife "peace" :D

    • @Pienimusta
      @Pienimusta 4 роки тому +1

      @@bl4cksp1d3r Very Florida Man of you, killing with "Kindness"

    • @bl4cksp1d3r
      @bl4cksp1d3r 4 роки тому

      @@Pienimusta .... how do you know how my axe is called

  • @Unelith
    @Unelith 3 роки тому

    The Spiffing Brit: *this video*
    The nobility in Dune universe: Hmm, interesting

  • @KirbytPink
    @KirbytPink 4 роки тому +5

    I'd watch a 30min unedited video of The Spiffing Brit playing Minecraft.
    "Minecraft is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits for 30 mins and is unedited"

  • @rustyshackleford6832
    @rustyshackleford6832 4 роки тому +1

    You can use the same assassin strat in Total War Rome. If you play as one of the Roman factions, you can use assassins to kill off the other roman factions without betraying the alliance and going to war with the Senate.

  • @-----Alcatraz------
    @-----Alcatraz------ 4 роки тому +4

    WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT... You are telling me that i first need to beat a faction in this game, before i can play as them... Without buying them as a DLC!?

    • @battleshipnope3271
      @battleshipnope3271 4 роки тому

      After editing files... you can play as literal REBEL faction and have war with whole world.
      BUT!
      Its highly unstable and may or may lead to some STRANGE THINGS happening.

    • @bogdanleshenko7149
      @bogdanleshenko7149 4 роки тому

      he is actually wrong. You unlock all faction after gaining 1 short campaign victory as any of the starting ones. Back in the days games were made for fun, not only revenue.

  • @noctusfury6918
    @noctusfury6918 Місяць тому

    I would LOVE to see you play as the rebels in both Rome TW and in M2TW. It would be VERY entertaining!

  • @Whitefury010
    @Whitefury010 4 роки тому +12

    We need a "family member" counter in the corner... its said so many times .