The DEAFENING SILENCE: Why Isn't My Ex Contacting Me?
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- Опубліковано 19 лис 2024
- Can your relationship be saved? www.modernlove...
If you're wondering why your ex isn't contacting you even if you're doing everything "right" like using No Contact, then you might be feeling confused.
Breakups are hard enough as it is, but what can you do when your ex just isn't reaching out to you at all?
In this video we'll explain what is happening... and more importantly, what you can do about it.
To learn about how to get your ex back WITHOUT No Contact, check out this video: • Don't Use No Contact T...
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To learn about how to get your ex back WITHOUT No Contact, check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/pOPiamJV_Mo/v-deo.html
UPDATE:
1 year after the break up. He strung me along for 5 months, while he was dating his supposed “friend only” from work. Found out he was with her and brought her to my home town about 3 months ago. I understood the key was not chasing him or trying to fix things/ make him see my worth. What’s meant for you will be for you, and what it’s not, won’t.
After those 5 months I cut contact and I worked on myself (the things I did wrong in the relationship and the things that were wrong with me: dependency, my view from life/world, my behaviour, way to think, to relate with others, to think about myself). I didn’t recover him and I don’t want to anymore. I’ve found love, real, safe love in myself. I’m a completely different person from who I was. I’ve become better as a person and I have started valuing other things in life: friendship especially, self love, self care, not asking too much from me and accept unexpected outcomes. I have learned how to love myself even when things go wrong without being harsh to myself. I have moved home, city, changed job, started a new Masters, met new friends, started eating healthy, exercising and connecting in a more deep way with people and with myself. I have never been this happy in my life. I know quite well what I want and how I want to feel, and I don’t look for a relationship anymore. All that’s important to me right now is not abandoning myself anymore, invest on myself and on my friends and people who show they deserve the best from me. It has been a very hard path, but I can now say I am the strong, empathetic and kind woman I have always wanted to be. Self-love, friendships, hobbies and goals are the way out and the way to go. There is hope people, trust life because it will bring you back all the good things if you act well from now on. I could not imagine 1 year ago I would be in this state. Sending lots of love and strength ❤
Thank you Clay. Your videos and perspective really put me at peace and you're able to put to words the things I'm feeling in my situation. Me and this woman were close, just shy of being official. Not going to lie I made 2 really big blunders that I can think of. She cut things off romantically about 3-4 weeks ago but still wants to be in each other lives, but she's currently interested in a mutual person we interact with, and she may be exhibiting some displacement with him. We're pretty long distance but all of us hung out as a group in VR over the weekend and it went really well, I connected with her with a light conversation and danced with her a bit like we used to. She talks to me and typically responds when I initiate, but she has yet to reach out or anything like that. I think what you described here about romantic pressure is in play, and I am hoping we can overcome this at some point together in the future, whether she's still talking to this new guy or not.
Sounds like you're doing well. Just remember that, even if there is someone new in the picture, the quality of the connection you have with her is the most important factor to focus on.
Thank you for your videos, they have really helped give perspective on what's happening, why, and what to do/not do. A big thing I've seen in your videos is being against No Contact, and emphasizing communication. However, in other videos it's clear being in too much contact can be just as bad, maybe worse. From my understanding it seems like there needs to be some balance between giving each other space while still talking. My question to you is: Based on your or others' successes, does there seem to be some healthy middle ground, or starting point on respecting space without dropping total contact? Thank you.
Thank you for all your videos. They have been so helpful. I SO wish I could afford coaching, but these are the next best thing.
Hi clay, thank you very much for your precious recommendations. I’m following you since a couple of weeks and you’re really helping me understand many things about the breakup. My ex and I broke up 10 weeks ago. I tried to reach out 2 times but he ignored me. I would like to reach out again, but don’t know how to do it. I want to drop off this romantic pressure. How can I do ? His birthday was 5 days ago and I didn’t text him to wish him happy birthday. How can I reach out now ?
I need help...
She broke up 4 months ago she said i took her for granted i didnt beg i only sent 2 text since and she was angry didnt wanna talk so i sent a accountability letter latelly im not needy but should i fallow up that letter with a text in some weeks ! If so about how long should i wait ! And in that text should i ask about the letter or just invite her for a coffee ! Thank you very much
Question...
She broke up 4 months ago she said i took her for granted i didnt beg or cry i work on myself still do i only sent 2 hello text and she didnt wanna talk she was angry i sent a accountability letter few days ago should i text her in a few weeks to see about that letter or just wait...thank you
Relate to the emotions she is feeling. That will get you further than waiting several weeks.
My last text was 1.5 months ago and she was angry didnt wanna talk...and i sent my letter 1 week ago...so your saying dont wait send text !
Ok thx for advise !
Thanks clay!
Thanks, I appreciate your comment :)
Could please tell me what is reaching out my ex will ask me to walk the dog or get her lunch and so on is this reaching out
She's using you
My question is, what if she initiates first and you wait to only have her initiates… is it still okay to reach out sometimes? @clay
Yep it fine to reach out sometimes as long as they are also doing the same.
Why would you wait to make her initiate? What is more important to you: Having her initiate or connecting with her?