What if they reach out at 4 months inderect direct contact and you didnt respond until a month later ? and they dont respond, what are they thinking ? btw they were dating someone right after the break up.
hi! tks much for ur videos! I am sure ur tips will always work! u and Margaret seem really caring tks much!! one thing I wanted to ask; can a guy miss us if we have hurt him so much to the point he has changed idea about us as a person? so they now think we are not the one for them? as after a misunderstanding I invented something that has hurt him making him think only bad of me and he now found another,u think in my case I can try to do a session with u to get him back? or u sure in my case he will never return to me? tks
I guess the Kitty Kat is very powerful 😸 My ex send me a link to sign up for free food and he know I don't need free food. I didn't respond caz I thought that didn't require a respond. And this was like almost 2 weeks after he ask me not to talk to him ever again. I was in the NC and he's actually in a rebound 🤷🏾♀️
Start working on yourself. Think about how much you will learn and grow in that time. What's a year even? What if you change so much that they come back and you are together for 30 years and can make a better relationship by your hard work. Or you do find someone else for 30 years. Is it worth it? It is. Focus on yourself. The universe will align and place you right where you need to be! Have faith in yourself. You can get better. Good luck to everyone watching these videos. They have made a tremendous difference in my life and all of my relationships!
Assume from day 1 it is NC forever ( unless they reach out) It puts you in the right frame of mind for personal growth. (But, my Ex contacted me after 38 yrs, bit too late to get back together by we’re best friends thereafter).
Bob Sacamano I’ve changed accounts because my ex has access to my previous account, she never reached out its ben over a year, and I finally move on i no longer want her, after 6 years no people trust me things get better, if you were good person you deserve better i had flings that treated me wayyyy better tham my ex, the reason I’m posting this after a year is because, if you are watching these videos you are not the problem more likely they were, i lost 50 pounds i became almost a bodybuilder in that year I meditate everyday I’m truly happy without her, what i do miss is her childrr I raised them since they were babies, but you have to love your self, and be ok with your future without this person, just work on your self, i wAs one of those that maybe she would never reaach out and I’m totally ok with that, just give it time and you will be ok
@@Technoirz thanks a lot for sharing your experience bro. I'm glad you were able to get better and that you are completely fine without this person. I'm working on me too, and I am trying to be optimistic.
I have done the 30 day NC rule and it did NOT work for me. Being rejected a second time sent me into a deeper pit of depression and I didn’t recover for months. It is a scam. You can’t talk someone into being with you. It has to be their idea. In my most recent break up, I initiated the NC rule almost to perfection. I am currently on day 51 and not a peep from her. I am sooo happy that I left the situation with my dignity this time. Thank you Craig and Margaret! You have been there for me at my most weakest moments. I’m holding back happy tears right now, that’s how much it means to me. God bless you two
There is no magical number for no contact- it’s whatever fits your unique situation. Every relationship and break is unique in some way w different needs.
No contact isn’t just for 30 days. Basically you have to get over them. You have to be ready to reach out if u want them. And u have to be okay with the fact that maybe they don’t want u back still. So not talking for 30 days and going straight into saying hey let’s hang Out won’t do shit.
You are so right about forcing someone to be with you. I am still friends with ex's son and both sisters. Not using them to talk to ex on my behalf. He has to be the one wanting to try again freely, not because he was guilted into it.
Don’t sweat the numbers or counting the days. Growth is feeling good with or without your ex...and not feeling the need to keep score. When I stopped counting the days, weeks or months...life just went on and I focused on my growth and how I felt. I’d rather it be right than be right now. It’s the end game that matters and what I do in the in between time. Be patient. Live life. Believe 💗
I'm officially 4.5 months NC today. I don't think she's ever going to reach out. Even though I've grown loads, done the workbooks from coach craig which were great, been in therapy for months and doing new things, I.e gym. It still hurts to know that 8 years together , an engagement and buying our first home together meant nothing. To anyone suffering in NC it does get much easier and you learn to live with yourself, refinding what makes YOU happy and whats important. Dear person reading this - Keep growing, stay NC and be the amazing person you are. I promise it gets easier.
Day 114 of no contact and I'm feeling so much better now...I barely think of my ex now, in fact I have to force myself to think about him!! Since the breakup I have worked on myself and my self confidence and self esteem has returned. Thank you, Coach Craig and Margaret for your dedication, professionalism and wisdom in bringing us your channel. I know I speak for all your listeners, when I say, your videos are truly amazing and your teaching strategies are valuable, helpful and educational. I would not have made it this far in my recovery from a broken heart, if it wasn't for you both or your channel!!
I've been 6 mths I'm getting better, improving myself. She's not reached out and I hope she does. She wasn't ready for commitment after 1 year dating. So I'll move on best I can.
@One With Nature yes, he has many times over the years, it’s been 4 years, and he still reaches out a few times a year, wanting to meet me for dinner, coffee and a chat which I decline every invite. I’ve moved on and he’s no longer worth my time or efforts.
It took 4 months of my disappearance with my ex for her to call me from new number which I didn’t know she changed crying but Idk im in that place where I’m fine with or without her lol
My ex never reached out. After about 17 years, I reached out because I was curious about what caused him to leave. It's been 6 months since I reached out. We are back together and are making a good life.
Neither it failed or not, at the end of the day it's all about you. How did you improve. How did you overcome those bullsh*t moment of yours. Struggling every single day after breakup. Im on my no contact rule and I literally forgot how many days I am doing it. Because right now, a lot of blessings came to me. And I know right now I confidently say that I've improved myself. Whether she came back or not, I AM PROUD TO MYSELF. I did a great job. Just pray. Be positive. And Love yourself. Thanks coaches for being one of my inspirations. God bless.
11 months for me - coming up to a year oct 7th , though we have been in contact he reached out several times , we still not back together . You guys have been so helpful , I wished my ex would listen to these videos maybe he would understand the person he is .
@@rateorhate11 I'm still watching videos and glad I am following coach Margaret and coach Kenneth advice. Going on a year now. Focusing on self improvement and making the best of things.
I`d never take someone back if they had been involved with someone else while we are apart. For me it is a big red flag. If 1 yr or more has passed the person I used to love is usually a stranger to me and more like a walking scrap book of memories... Nice to bring up for a smile, but stored in the garage most of the time.
All valid points. It's even worse if they were seeing/ entertaining someone else WHILE you were still with them. A healthy person, after a year, most likely won't want the ex back
I’m on Day 39 today and if my Ex who Dumped me Reaches out I have a response Hi there I’m great thanks Hope your are too Thanks for asking! Then I’m gone I will never ever chase again This is my biggest change in me Where I have learnt from my mistakes and learning great tips from my fav coaches Thankyou so much 🙏🏻
@@emocentofficial3487 really? I think I'm one of these maniac, I told him to break up then he didn't ask why didn't try to know the reasons didn't try to solve anything, he just broke up. Good reaction.
No contact has worked for me 100% I'm spending the night over my ex house after 2 months. She also kissed the crap outta me, I'm going in for the kill tonight. No contact causes maximum contact x 100%. Craig is KEY just listen and keep your cool. Love you Margaret!!!!! Donate button please!!!
Some ppl cope with a breakup by just forgetting about the person and wanting nothing to do with you, that’s what my ex did, because that’s what he did with all his other girlfriends, even though we lived together and were together for 5 years, he resorted back to how he was before me. Even though how he felt for me was deeper then any other girl before me, he decided to be done with me like his other exes. it’s been 7 months and he has said he still wants nothing to do with me
My ex came back 3 months to tell me he missed me and still loves me BUT I moved on and already in a relationship that values me more than anyone. I forgot about what he did to me after a few weeks until it doesnt hurt me anymore. It was good for me because I felt like I have avoided more heart aches and walking in an eggshell trying to please him.
I ordered your workbooks and printed them out yesterday. Starting on them tomorrow..break up less than two months. I was devastated the first few weeks...now I’m feeling better and not hoping to hear from him every day. I’m trying to be realistic on my healing time and on whether or not he ever reaches out. In fact, I think in some ways it’s better if he doesn’t because I’m afraid I won’t do the work on myself I need to. Thank you sooo much!!!!
Brilliant video. You and Margaret are great. Thankyou for helping us dumpees that are in no contact going through a rubbish break up. God bless you both
I don't know where I would be without you guys!!! Your videos are all I listen to day and night. You keep be grounded. I just hope everything will work out for me. 🙏
I´m on month 5 and STILL have not heard a single thing from him. I just want to die! He´s still with the girl he left me for, which I believe says a lot about how little he misses me
I never had anybody coming back to me. The only person that still gives a lot of hints of still loving me is my ex husband but he never said anything about us getting back together. And since my divorce I learned that the best way to handle a break up is to accept, be cordial to the person and move on. That’s what I did with ex husband and two other breakups I had after that. I feel they respect you a lot for doing that, and they’re surprised too. I show vulnerability, thank them for the great times and then go home to cry, give myself time and start working on myself. It’s painful, but it feels like the right thing to me. I feel proud of myself then and afterwards. I want to be loved by someone that is willing to do so, I don’t feel right to try to force them...even because it doesn’t work, anyways. I created this rule to myself, and I’m sticking with it.
I like this approach to breakups. I think it’s the gracious thing to do. I’ve had some bad break ups from years ago, where I did make it known that I wanted to reconcile after being dumped. I wish I never did that because I feel like I gave some of my self respect, power and dignity away and just boosted their ego. Any advice on how to level the playing field after something like this? The only thing I can come up with is to never reach out again and just let the years go by.
I miss her to death she told me to move one and to find someone else this whole no contact rule is the only hope i have left i am working as much as possible on myself and at my job i am not begging her anymore as i did before if she still feels something for me she has to reach out hopefulley everyone here makes it through this guys stay strong💪💪💪💪
To be honests man i made the mistake of breaking no contact and it took for her to tell me to stop contacting her over all or she would block my number and well last time i contacted her about something she had to say that at the end "please stop contacting me " then i had to face facts and i blocked her number blocked her on Instagram and deactivated my facebook over all dude i know its hard and the pains me the mosts is that i most likley losts her already but i still have a tiny bit of hope left maybe one day she will realize things could of been diffrent but in the end she gave up on me and showed me just how little i meant to her even though i would of never given up ever because i love her that much but it just goes to show you if someone really cares and loves you they will not make you beg and or plead them for something that you know you deserve i am to the point where if she does ever come back than ill be careful about my choice and if she doesnt well then its her loss because no one will ever be as good as i was i made my mistakes but i was willing to work on things so now i guess i have to be strong and leave it all behind just like she did .
@@dwightschrute8141 honestly it didnt go the way ide hope she has been with someone else for quite a while now i actually saw them at Walmart a couple of months ago . But its ok certain things happen for a reason stay strong ladies and gents patients is key
Most people will get the indirect/direct form of contact. It usually happens within the first 3-6 months post break-up, sometimes even sooner. But thereafter is where you hold all the power. If they reach out but don't address the relationship, they are most likely just testing the waters to see if you still like them. You deserve better than a person who only really wants their ego stroked. Don't sit around waiting as an option to THEM. Be a priority for YOURSELF
Thank you for this information. I am keeping strong with no contact & I feel he will not contact me since he found a new girl. I am still learning from your videos & for the first time in my life, I am putting myself FIRST. Addressing my issues & will be better to myself!
It’s almost easier to move on when you know they’re with someone else or don’t care. You know where you stand. On/off behaviour and mixed messages leave you anxious, confused and hanging on. Good luck to you.
It's been 5 1/2 months since we split, most days I see him at work, but I have held to no contact as much as possible. He went into a rebound relationship at some point, I'm guessing not even three months later...maybe sooner. At any rate, something has changed with him in the past week or so. I'd like to believe I've shifted the power back to me, or maybe something went south with the new one. I'm not sure what, but it's interesting to watch.
My ex gf told me she wasn't happy and for me to be happy and to let her go I'm blocked everywhere as well was with her for 7 years as well I'm screwed :'(
My ex broke up with me and I did all what I wasn't supposed to do -- begged, pleaded, cried alot and he said i should move on. He said he feels so relax and not coming back anymore. I can't understand why he threw what we had and hadn't considered that we're already engaged! When i found your channel, it was a blessing as I started to focus on my self. Understood that i am also a special person, contributed good things in the relp and is worth loving. I'm doing the NC not only in the hopes of getting him back, but to better myself. I am now able to do things i always wanted to do - surf,skydive, travel alot,go to gym,watch series, read articles for mental improvement,even started to look for better job opportunities (although i still am employed in a good company). When the time comes we get a chance to communicate again as we are Long distance, i know il be able to offer a better me in the relp. I would be able to handle myself without breaking down infront of him. Thanks Craig and Margaret. Pls keep on uploading helpful vids. I love you both! Godbless you two!
I have been in no contact for a year and a half, I guess I know now that I never matterd to him (we were in a 4 almost 5 year ldr) It just hurts cause I still miss him. I loved him and he will never love me. 💔 it is the worst feeling in the world.
I love this video! Coach Margaret is very helpful too. You both have empathy and understanding. I feel better knowing you understand what its like going through a break up.
Hey Craig, could you put a play list together or point me towards a some videos that outline how you should act with your ex when your meeting them again for the first time? I know you speak about this in a lot of videos but hard to find specific ones. Thanks loving the workbooks!
Me and my ex broke up a few weeks before valentine's day. I only hit him the week of our break up for my things. I did ask to link up and he asked if I still wanted to and i told him I don't think it's a good idea anymore. Then i drunk called him on valentine's day and thankfully he didn't answer....lol. He called me the day after and I ignored but i messaged him and told him it was an accident. After that i haven't heard from him and it's been a little over a month. I miss him a little bit but i would rather not look back because i want someone better, maybe older, and more financially established. I just don't want to be taking for granted or giving the bare minimum.
Craig, I really hope this reaches you. I’m currently on my third week (today) of no contact with my ex. And I’m incredibly underslept, frustrated, and irritated by her last words. Anxiously focusing on what she told me. When she broke up with me, she began to ignore me, not listen to me at all, wouldn’t let me meet up with her, she went really cold and cut me off. She told me to give her space and I need to consider her feelings. In my extremely tired and anxious state, I’m currently in the anger stage of grief. How could she do all of this to me and then expect ME to consider HER feelings? Why is she not considering mine? Why am I the one that’s just been broken up with and extremely hurt, but also has to be the one to consider their feelings? I’ve seen her out since we broke up and she looks happy, she’s enjoying herself.. why should I be the one to be courteous and not the other way around? Please cover this if you can in a video because on days like today I really need to hear it so I can control my anxiety😔
Yep, every relationship it's men who have to consider their feelings, men can't have them, also the vague excuses to break up with no mention of a definite situation or a behaviour they didn't like, you're just supposed to guess. Other than babies, what's the point of having a relationship with women? I got broken up with because of what her mother was saying in the background and I knew nothing about it. 3 years of a relationship, never heard from her in 17 months, after saving her and her families lives? I'm done with women.
I forgot I left this comment. I must’ve been really underslept. This girl still hasn’t reached out to me at all. I even bumped into her and asked if we could talk and she simply said “no” and walked off. I know what I did, and I am certain that my mistakes do not warrant this kind of cold-hearted, stonewalling response. She didn’t even allow us to have a discussion, offer me closure, lessen the feeling of guilt, or anything. In my opinion this was a horrible, horrible way to end things with someone. I even remember I reached out a couple of times to say that I’m not trying to fight for her back, that I know she’s not coming back, etc. I just want to talk and part ways amicably, and it was again completely ignored. I liked everything about her up until this point. Now I know this is no way to treat someone. I agree with you quite a lot. She’s moving onto the next one with a complete and total lack of regard or compromise for my feelings. All I have to do is “consider” hers, and to this day I can’t help but feel that was such a selfish thing for her to say to me. I have been through hell trying to process this, and she has done nothing to ease this pain and guilt, feeling absolutely fine with herself. It’s selfish, and nothing but.
My ex had abandonment issues but was so closed off to them that he was treating me so poorly as his mother treated him - threatening abandonment and following through with it with me to get me in line ... his mother was trying the same tactics through him to me to get me in line !!! I will never abide. As a result my partner made his mind up and now we don’t speak.
I'm in no contact it's been 5 months and she hasn't reached out... I want to reach out to her so bad but I know id be digging my grave deeper. I did do A lot of things to offend her. I love this girl and seems that I'm losing her more and as days go by. It's very difficult this no contact all I think of is her. God bless all of you guys and gals going through this.
Haha I quit no contact after almost thirty days. Now my focus is just showing her that I'm confident enough to accept the breakup and to make her laugh and feel comfortable.
Nope....6 months. Not a word. Not a like on a post and I went straight into no contact and she didn't even tell me she was breaking up with me. She just never responded to my last message. It's the most pain imaginable because she didn't even say she was breaking up with me or if I did anything wrong. She just threw me away
Love from India ❤️ and it’s always a treat to see the laughing face of margaret ❤️ and Craig is wise too❤️ god bless both of you !! I hope one day I will see the result what I desire❤️
I’m going on 9 months with no contact with the ex. She blocked me on social media and I never did or said anything. Don’t know why but our mutual friend which we are both really close with said I will never see or talk to her again. No clue and I gave up. It’s her loss and not mine.
coach craig, you mention if we take things slow when they reach out(which I assume means dont immediately ask them to meet) - they'll be anxious. in other videos you mention inviting them out when they reach out. which do you feel is better?
I broke up with my LDR guy and I texted him with "Happy Father's Day". It was only last week when I 'let go' but I do miss him and want to get together again but I want him to appreciate me and make me feel wanted. I want him to reach out to me.
I dont know why he blocked me we had a perfect 7 months relationship now we didn’t fight am not sure what happened its 5 months no contact now and i don’t know whats the next step
All I've gotten is an indirect reach out through his son wanting a favor. I did the favor, he didn't thank me. I was so tempted to contact ex to call him out, but I know that wouldn't change things for good. I emailed you about it and saving up for a coaching. Very mixed feelings.
A little over 6 months in now of NC, and this was the motivation that I needed. Thanks Coach! I was feeling a moment of weakness a couple of weeks ago, and was tempted to text the ex because of a coworkers advice. I told her that the last girl I dated got back with her ex, so she said "why not reach out to your ex?".. I know that's the wrong move, and I will have faith that she will contact me IF & when she is ready.. Btw, I could totally envision another cat indirect/direct if she reaches out 😹 lol
Oh believe me.. I haven't put my life on hold at all.. I've dated and hooked up with 3 women since her, and have moved into my own apartment just this month.. Doesn't stop me from missing her.. She was probably the best girlfriend I've ever had when we were together.. She was really sweet.. Obviously she became ice cold during the breakup though (like most girls at that time)
I don’t keep score or play games- at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to me who reaches out to who first. It’s about the connection and interaction. Some people wait for the other person to make the first move- if both people do that...no one ever communicates. If your growth is genuine- silence or a reply that isn’t positive won’t affect you. Your strong regardless of their reaction or lack thereof.
matrixband12 Right, you just have to make sure you do it when you’re in a strong place. You know yourself and your ex and what caused the break- that matters more than 100 rules on UA-cam.
@@sshuteandrew So you're suggesting that I break no contact after 6 months? This is a girl that explicitly said she needed space, and told me to date other women because she couldn't give me what I wanted out of a relationship (even though she really was).. She also mixed in the "I need to do a lot of work on myself" stuff too, but who knows how true that really was? Likely just excuses to put me down softly. I begged for 2 months for this girl, so I really feel like the only way a spark can be rekindled is if she reaches out. How old are you? My coworker is 54 and she also said the "you shouldn't keep score" comment. I guess when you get older, time becomes more limited, and people are more prone to break NC.
@@matrixband12 my ex is also an avoidant because of her past (she was in a bad marriage for 7 years and her father was verbally abusive to her as a child).. Funny thing is, she was the one that pushed our relationship into lightspeed.. She gave me keys to her apartment on date #3.. She bought me a gift almost every time I saw her.. Her cat is a stray I found outside, so how could she ever truly forget about me? I mostly was indifferent with her, but during a 2 week stretch during the holidays where I was feeling weak (family fights, brother moving, fight with and loss of a friend), she pulled the plug 2 days after my brother's going away event, which she came to. The second I became the person she was being to me, she broke up with me. Textbook avoidant. She can't handle a guy that gets too close or wants her attention more than what she wants.
That canadian guy Brad started that 30 days nc.. which is totaly bs.. how the hell you can estimate time in break up cases.breaking up is not math so you can give the number.. i call that 30 days crap..because can make/create more issue and rejections. 30 days is not enough and every break up is different.. i am.at 45 days of NC and have no plans to call/text at all.
hello Craig and Margaret thank you for your help! please can you make a video about the phases an avoidant and an anxious person is going throught during the break up? i think it would be very helpful to see in contrary both sides
3 months Into no contact now starting to feel like she's getting over me as she hasn't reach out as we broke up 2 times before and would of reached out before my stuff is still at hers but not sure to reach out to get my stuff to see how she is or wait for her to tell me go get it...
What if the initial part is over and they realize what it's like to be without you in a negative light? I had control issues and she's happy and liberated now, but if I got her back I think we could fix things. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet since I started giving her space to calm down. Some bad signs are that we're not even supposed to be together anyways (her mom called mine about three weeks ago and said to stop talking to her because our relationship is too much for her age and part of it was how I treated her), she's changed a lot of things I used to control her about (she's started talking to people bad for her relationship with God and she did things I controlled her not to do like got her ears pierced), she said she's happy and my mom said she seems happier and that she wants to move on, and she's told people in a she doesn't-like-me-anymore way about abusive things I did. I'm hoping that time will work it out because as I said it hadn't been 24 hours and I'm working on myself through God as well to get better with how I treat her. Her mom not wanting us to be together until we're older (as of three weeks ago, she may never bless us now) is also a big limiting factor but I don't know if that fully would stop Aubrey from reaching out. I'm broken and I don't want this to happen, I don't want to see her fall in love with anyone else. I should have guarded my heart more than I did and not done anything towards the end to make it worse. May God bless you guys!
funny thing, my old fling from March 2020 just texted me yesterday so for some it takes even more then 400days, so depending on your connection and the other person It can TAKE time :D
My ex dumped me, after 2 month send me a text message: "You should know that I miss you and thinking about you. I just would like to talk but I don't want to come back right now. Maybe in the future..." I'm so confused
45 days no contact for me. Not sure she will reach out, I made a bunch of mistakes after the breakup and am blocked right now. Our relationship was good overall and I was the best she ever had. She probably needs more time, but I’ve recognized where I went wrong and the whoever I’m with next will be better for it.
My ex hasn’t reached out in over a year. She’s got into a second relationship. I guess she moved on. Sometimes I feel like she’s not reaching out on purpose to try and counteract the no contact and make me pissed and hurt again, but I’m trying really hard to not allow it and move forward
I needed this so much. It came at perfect timing. Once again you guys nailed it. Thank you for your continuous effort to help us out here in the doing game which most often than not is very hard!
I own 4 cats and my ex asked me to send her pictures of them almost every day. I'm almost convinced she will reach out about the cats if she decides to reach out. The problem is that we were long distance and the sudden shift to talking about closing the distance sparked anxiety and she looked for reasons to break up ( theory along with I didnt treat her the best I could. I fucked up in many ways, but I am definitely a good person and she and I shared a really strong and loving bond ). I'm afraid she might find someone else while we are away, but I also know she is anxious with men in general due to her anxiety from her childhood, so I know she doesn't think she is worthy of praise at least on her appearance etc. I'm sure she thinks about me and loves me in some way still. I just wonder how long this could take and if I will get a chance to show her how much I add to her life again some day.
17 months for me and nothing after 3.5 year relationship. Seeing success stories were the relationship was awful and they reach out 3-9 months later? I get pissed off with it.
Unfortunately no contact has failed me and I’ve been told by many women friends that I waited too long to reach out and try to reattract her and win her back and in that time and space i gave her to heal she was shopping around for other guys and is now with someone new only 2 months after the break up ,maybe in the beginning she was missing me like crazy and I had a stronger chance to win her back and I regret it everyday so I say give it two or three weeks max! especially if you’re the one who fucked up
It’s not your fault bro she ended the relationship. You did the right thing by doing no contact. The fact that she didn’t reach out and moved on shows you how much she really cared about your relationship.
Ex called after month and a half of NC, the night before we so happened to see each other at a party she got drunk and I helped her because all her friends left her. While drunk she kept saying “I’m sorry for breaking you heart baby” and would hug me tight, this morning she apologized for having to deal with her drunk, we joked around and I offered to go out, she said Monday before 5 because she goes to the gym after 5, I I said no because I work and don’t get out till 6:30, so I told her to let me know when ever she’s free.
My ex of 8 years told me to break up a year ago and since then i am trying to keep my distance cause i found out that she cheated on me, but every couple of months she texts me and tries to communicate with me with indirect approach, i love her but i don't trust her so if she wants to talk she has to be clear, non of that indirect direct approach shit.
Even if you agreed to give the relationship another chance, you’ll always wonder if & when she’ll cheat again. Cheaters never stop cheating, so unless you understand in advance that she’ll do it again eventually, don’t re-enter that arena.
Oh I forgot to mention can you guys make a video how to respond to avoidant exes when they get back in contact? Because they are so tricky to deal with. I’ve made a mistake already. I’m mirroring him in emails and is that a bad strategy? I’m not revealing anything about my life and all the personal progress I have made by myself. No idea how to move forward. He did reveal that he craves contact with people... but I dint want him to think I’m easy and available to him! It’s really tricky. Thank you 🙏🏽
I blocked my ex after a argument we had. I blocked her on instagram and at the same time she blocked me on facebook. Its been 2 weeks no contact. Should I unblock her or no?
No, I think it would be an indirect contact. Leave it as it is, when she's ready, if its right, she'll find a way to reach out to you. Atleast thats what doc said
Its been 42 days since I did implemented the No Contact Strategy on my ex. She texted me and wanting to know how she could return a few things that I have left behind. I'm afraid this is a sign that she decided to move on. I do want my rings back (even though they arent expensive).
@@brielleharmony7568 Nope and I have moved on...there is a better life waiting for you...Even I was crying those days badly and now Iam single, happy and enjoying my life❤️
My ex gf and I were togueter for 8 months Over some missunderstandings she proposed the breakup and I broke up with her (Still dont know why I did it). Then begged and pleaded the first two weeks. There was never a huge fight or big issues. Just random couple differences. We’ve practically hooked up twice per week since our breakup 2 months algo. We were togueter last time 5 days ago. But I’m done chasing. Is exhausting. She likes me but wont come back. It could be pride. No idea. Is NC (5 days so far) really the best choice?
My ex told me he moved on after a month even tho we were engaged and lived together. He told me to move on as well and to not worry because I’m a few months time I won’t even remember his name anymore. I’m still very hurt by his comment
had No contact for almost a month...then she wrote me a few days ago for my bday...But it was a longer Message - Not Just bday stuff. she asked me how im doin etc and told me i could contact her and let her know. i was a little overwhelmed...didnt expect to hear from her. also didnt wanna have another long conversation with all These emotions. so i Just politely thanked her for the Message . she didnt reply though
True story, i had a 5 year relationship, my ex ended it , i went NC , i did it to the letter, 20 months later she contacts me, but i had moved on , i had a new gf, it wasnt very serious more like me forcing myself to move on, but my ex had been such a dick after we broke up, i just couldnt do it again, so i walked away , it was a strange completion
What if they were verbally vicious, emotionally destructive and completely callous during the break up and then finished it off with “I don’t want anything to do with you any more, I’m done with you, don’t text me or call me”, and then blocks calling and texting methods? How do you respond if that ex eventually reaches out?
N8F - I might not have worded it well. Al the things I listed were during the break up, they weren’t like that to me during the years they were in my life. That’s why it’s so hard to believe
Calida 89 he was.. I freaked out and got a,little hostile, then didn’t contact him for a week, then I sent an apology and he responded kindly and said he didn’t judge and now it’s been no contact for 90 days.. I feel a lot better and I’m not really trying to get him back but I would like a friendship with him. I haven’t decided if I am going to reach out or not.
Calida 89 but if I do talk to him I’m not going “give him a piece of my mind” or anything lol...I’m just going to be chill and act like it didn’t bother me and be zero drama :)
@@tacobelle69 Hmmm difficult.. Tht rs I talked about was different.. I wasn't ready for a rs n he had to stop contact as he loved me.. N I couldn't appreciate his love n wht he did for me.. N after other experiences n time I started to miss him n appreciated his romantic nature.. Thtswhy I contacted him n chemistry was again there right away.. So it's actually not your case.. If your really really honest n seriously don't want him back than I would let him know tht u still miss his friendship.. But could u handle other women?
His birthday is coming up in June: he left me about 3 weeks ago...stay in no contact, correct? No birthday wishes? I have been in strict no contact awaiting to see if he responds or I heal and move on.
I have worked on myself so much, and I have improved so much. I know my ex would be mind blown if she saw me now. But I find it so hard to do this no contact. And I fear she won't want to repair things.
Instagram @CoachCraigKenneth
Hey coach. One question. How honest do you have to be about how much you missed them if theu ask you?
What if they reach out at 4 months inderect direct contact and you didnt respond until a month later ? and they dont respond, what are they thinking ? btw they were dating someone right after the break up.
hi! tks much for ur videos! I am sure ur tips will always work! u and Margaret seem really caring tks much!! one thing I wanted to ask; can a guy miss us if we have hurt him so much to the point he has changed idea about us as a person? so they now think we are not the one for them? as after a misunderstanding I invented something that has hurt him making him think only bad of me and he now found another,u think in my case I can try to do a session with u to get him back? or u sure in my case he will never return to me? tks
I guess the Kitty Kat is very powerful 😸
My ex send me a link to sign up for free food and he know I don't need free food. I didn't respond caz I thought that didn't require a respond. And this was like almost 2 weeks after he ask me not to talk to him ever again. I was in the NC and he's actually in a rebound 🤷🏾♀️
@@Silvichan va
Start working on yourself. Think about how much you will learn and grow in that time. What's a year even? What if you change so much that they come back and you are together for 30 years and can make a better relationship by your hard work. Or you do find someone else for 30 years. Is it worth it? It is. Focus on yourself. The universe will align and place you right where you need to be! Have faith in yourself. You can get better. Good luck to everyone watching these videos. They have made a tremendous difference in my life and all of my relationships!
To be honest after 50 days I’m giving up a person that truly loves you will not take that long, they will not do that to you, I’m finally moving on.
Assume from day 1 it is NC forever ( unless they reach out) It puts you in the right frame of mind for personal growth. (But, my Ex contacted me after 38 yrs, bit too late to get back together by we’re best friends thereafter).
Did they reach out bro?
Bob Sacamano I’ve changed accounts because my ex has access to my previous account, she never reached out its ben over a year, and I finally move on i no longer want her, after 6 years no people trust me things get better, if you were good person you deserve better i had flings that treated me wayyyy better tham my ex, the reason I’m posting this after a year is because, if you are watching these videos you are not the problem more likely they were, i lost 50 pounds i became almost a bodybuilder in that year I meditate everyday I’m truly happy without her, what i do miss is her childrr I raised them since they were babies, but you have to love your self, and be ok with your future without this person, just work on your self, i wAs one of those that maybe she would never reaach out and I’m totally ok with that, just give it time and you will be ok
@@Technoirz thanks a lot for sharing your experience bro. I'm glad you were able to get better and that you are completely fine without this person. I'm working on me too, and I am trying to be optimistic.
And if they came back after 90 days?
I have done the 30 day NC rule and it did NOT work for me. Being rejected a second time sent me into a deeper pit of depression and I didn’t recover for months. It is a scam. You can’t talk someone into being with you. It has to be their idea.
In my most recent break up, I initiated the NC rule almost to perfection. I am currently on day 51 and not a peep from her. I am sooo happy that I left the situation with my dignity this time. Thank you Craig and Margaret! You have been there for me at my most weakest moments. I’m holding back happy tears right now, that’s how much it means to me. God bless you two
There is no magical number for no contact- it’s whatever fits your unique situation. Every relationship and break is unique in some way w different needs.
No contact isn’t just for 30 days. Basically you have to get over them. You have to be ready to reach out if u want them. And u have to be okay with the fact that maybe they don’t want u back still. So not talking for 30 days and going straight into saying hey let’s hang Out won’t do shit.
beezneezer no you just reached out so that’s not NC fault lol NC means absolutely NC jackass
This happend to me too. Don't listen to break up Brad. It was worse being rejected the second time
You are so right about forcing someone to be with you. I am still friends with ex's son and both sisters. Not using them to talk to ex on my behalf. He has to be the one wanting to try again freely, not because he was guilted into it.
Don’t sweat the numbers or counting the days. Growth is feeling good with or without your ex...and not feeling the need to keep score. When I stopped counting the days, weeks or months...life just went on and I focused on my growth and how I felt. I’d rather it be right than be right now. It’s the end game that matters and what I do in the in between time. Be patient. Live life. Believe 💗
Stacey S agreed. Look at you go!
I have to watch this video 10x just so it sinks in my head
JvM Jane same
I'm officially 4.5 months NC today. I don't think she's ever going to reach out. Even though I've grown loads, done the workbooks from coach craig which were great, been in therapy for months and doing new things, I.e gym. It still hurts to know that 8 years together , an engagement and buying our first home together meant nothing.
To anyone suffering in NC it does get much easier and you learn to live with yourself, refinding what makes YOU happy and whats important.
Dear person reading this - Keep growing, stay NC and be the amazing person you are. I promise it gets easier.
Either way it works. Either they'll message you again after some time has passed or you'll never hear from them again.
Day 114 of no contact and I'm feeling so much better now...I barely think of my ex now, in fact I have to force myself to think about him!! Since the breakup I have worked on myself and my self confidence and self esteem has returned. Thank you, Coach Craig and Margaret for your dedication, professionalism and wisdom in bringing us your channel. I know I speak for all your listeners, when I say, your videos are truly amazing and your teaching strategies are valuable, helpful and educational. I would not have made it this far in my recovery from a broken heart, if it wasn't for you both or your channel!!
I've been 6 mths
I'm getting better, improving myself. She's not reached out and I hope she does.
She wasn't ready for commitment after 1 year dating.
So I'll move on best I can.
@@craigmerrila7767 same story like mine
@One With Nature yes, he has many times over the years, it’s been 4 years, and he still reaches out a few times a year, wanting to meet me for dinner, coffee and a chat which I decline every invite. I’ve moved on and he’s no longer worth my time or efforts.
No contact is just to calm down the heat of the situation.
It's not to pause life. Set a reasonable deadline for yourself.
It took 4 months of my disappearance with my ex for her to call me from new number which I didn’t know she changed crying but Idk im in that place where I’m fine with or without her lol
That's good, you're in a good place, stay there
Did you think it was over like I do?
@@ett2 vhf
Edwin Galdamez oooooh they hate hearing that bro 🔥🤙🏾good for you man !
@@samuelmccarter9610 You made them think about why they broke up with you again by apologize about the relationship
My ex never reached out. After about 17 years, I reached out because I was curious about what caused him to leave. It's been 6 months since I reached out. We are back together and are making a good life.
No way ? Congrats
Just wow !
Holy moly
Thanks, we now have a 5 month old son.
Neither it failed or not, at the end of the day it's all about you. How did you improve. How did you overcome those bullsh*t moment of yours. Struggling every single day after breakup. Im on my no contact rule and I literally forgot how many days I am doing it. Because right now, a lot of blessings came to me. And I know right now I confidently say that I've improved myself. Whether she came back or not, I AM PROUD TO MYSELF. I did a great job. Just pray. Be positive. And Love yourself. Thanks coaches for being one of my inspirations. God bless.
Hell yeah John!
John Rey Yeah, 30days is just a number. It always depend on you. I am also in NC and still love my ex but I am also good without him.
@@majadera2233 Just work on yourself. And move forward. The best is yet to come for us. Do you have IG or facebook?
@@johnrey1203 Did your ex reach out?
11 months for me - coming up to a year oct 7th , though we have been in contact he reached out several times , we still not back together . You guys have been so helpful , I wished my ex would listen to these videos maybe he would understand the person he is .
Hi. It's Sept 27th 2022. Did you ever get your ex back. I see this is a 4 year ago video.
This is one of my favorite videos. Thanks Margaret! I'm too nice and cute to be forgotten. I'm at day 60.
Any update ?
@@rateorhate11 I'm still watching videos and glad I am following coach Margaret and coach Kenneth advice. Going on a year now. Focusing on self improvement and making the best of things.
Update?
@@dwightschrute8141 putting my focus elsewhere not wasting my time thinking about ex anymore
i was about to reach out thank you i just keep coming back whenever i breakdown
I`d never take someone back if they had been involved with someone else while we are apart. For me it is a big red flag. If 1 yr or more has passed the person I used to love is usually a stranger to me and more like a walking scrap book of memories... Nice to bring up for a smile, but stored in the garage most of the time.
How would you know if they were with someone else? Unless they tell you which more than likely they wouldn't. Of if you've been stalking them.
All valid points. It's even worse if they were seeing/ entertaining someone else WHILE you were still with them. A healthy person, after a year, most likely won't want the ex back
I’m on Day 39 today and if my Ex who Dumped me
Reaches out
I have a response
Hi there
I’m great thanks
Hope your are too
Thanks for asking!
Then I’m gone
I will never ever chase again
This is my biggest change in me
Where I have learnt from my mistakes and learning great tips from my fav coaches
Thankyou so much 🙏🏻
What if your ex has too much pride to reach out
Ernie Marrufo Then find someone else. It means your ex is toxic
Only a ego maniac will break up with you and expect you to reach out again. Not a good person, find someone else
@@emocentofficial3487 really? I think I'm one of these maniac, I told him to break up then he didn't ask why didn't try to know the reasons didn't try to solve anything, he just broke up. Good reaction.
@@blankearth5840 thats correct.... Dont beg for love
Look at “my ex is stubborn Craig Kenneth” videos
No contact has worked for me 100% I'm spending the night over my ex house after 2 months. She also kissed the crap outta me, I'm going in for the kill tonight. No contact causes maximum contact x 100%. Craig is KEY just listen and keep your cool. Love you Margaret!!!!! Donate button please!!!
Update!!!???
Some ppl cope with a breakup by just forgetting about the person and wanting nothing to do with you, that’s what my ex did, because that’s what he did with all his other girlfriends, even though we lived together and were together for 5 years, he resorted back to how he was before me. Even though how he felt for me was deeper then any other girl before me, he decided to be done with me like his other exes. it’s been 7 months and he has said he still wants nothing to do with me
Mine is the same way....might be a narc
My ex came back 3 months to tell me he missed me and still loves me BUT I moved on and already in a relationship that values me more than anyone. I forgot about what he did to me after a few weeks until it doesnt hurt me anymore. It was good for me because I felt like I have avoided more heart aches and walking in an eggshell trying to please him.
Yes, hasn’t worked for me at all with anyone! They just move on & so have I!
I ordered your workbooks and printed them out yesterday. Starting on them tomorrow..break up less than two months. I was devastated the first few weeks...now I’m feeling better and not hoping to hear from him every day. I’m trying to be realistic on my healing time and on whether or not he ever reaches out. In fact, I think in some ways it’s better if he doesn’t because I’m afraid I won’t do the work on myself I need to. Thank you sooo much!!!!
Brilliant video. You and Margaret are great. Thankyou for helping us dumpees that are in no contact going through a rubbish break up. God bless you both
You guys are so realistic i like that . Cause 30 days is nothing
I don't know where I would be without you guys!!! Your videos are all I listen to day and night. You keep be grounded. I just hope everything will work out for me. 🙏
I´m on month 5 and STILL have not heard a single thing from him. I just want to die! He´s still with the girl he left me for, which I believe says a lot about how little he misses me
Any word from him
Update plz did they come back
I never had anybody coming back to me. The only person that still gives a lot of hints of still loving me is my ex husband but he never said anything about us getting back together. And since my divorce I learned that the best way to handle a break up is to accept, be cordial to the person and move on. That’s what I did with ex husband and two other breakups I had after that. I feel they respect you a lot for doing that, and they’re surprised too. I show vulnerability, thank them for the great times and then go home to cry, give myself time and start working on myself. It’s painful, but it feels like the right thing to me. I feel proud of myself then and afterwards. I want to be loved by someone that is willing to do so, I don’t feel right to try to force them...even because it doesn’t work, anyways. I created this rule to myself, and I’m sticking with it.
I like this approach to breakups. I think it’s the gracious thing to do. I’ve had some bad break ups from years ago, where I did make it known that I wanted to reconcile after being dumped. I wish I never did that because I feel like I gave some of my self respect, power and dignity away and just boosted their ego. Any advice on how to level the playing field after something like this? The only thing I can come up with is to never reach out again and just let the years go by.
I miss her to death she told me to move one and to find someone else this whole no contact rule is the only hope i have left i am working as much as possible on myself and at my job i am not begging her anymore as i did before if she still feels something for me she has to reach out hopefulley everyone here makes it through this guys stay strong💪💪💪💪
How is it going for you so far man?... nothing yet
To be honests man i made the mistake of breaking no contact and it took for her to tell me to stop contacting her over all or she would block my number and well last time i contacted her about something she had to say that at the end "please stop contacting me " then i had to face facts and i blocked her number blocked her on Instagram and deactivated my facebook over all dude i know its hard and the pains me the mosts is that i most likley losts her already but i still have a tiny bit of hope left maybe one day she will realize things could of been diffrent but in the end she gave up on me and showed me just how little i meant to her even though i would of never given up ever because i love her that much but it just goes to show you if someone really cares and loves you they will not make you beg and or plead them for something that you know you deserve i am to the point where if she does ever come back than ill be careful about my choice and if she doesnt well then its her loss because no one will ever be as good as i was i made my mistakes but i was willing to work on things so now i guess i have to be strong and leave it all behind just like she did .
My ex told me the same thing. Move on without me that broke my heart and i realize i will not beg or chase him either the hell with him
Update??
@@dwightschrute8141 honestly it didnt go the way ide hope she has been with someone else for quite a while now i actually saw them at Walmart a couple of months ago . But its ok certain things happen for a reason stay strong ladies and gents patients is key
Thank you for your encouragement. I’m surviving my heartache and no contact because of advices from both coaches.
Had to watch this again. I like the part where Coach Margaret says I'm fine thanks lovely to see you.
Doc Craig Kenneth and Margaret. This is absolutely true it happened to me twice💗 it's all true thanks for sharing😎
Most people will get the indirect/direct form of contact. It usually happens within the first 3-6 months post break-up, sometimes even sooner. But thereafter is where you hold all the power. If they reach out but don't address the relationship, they are most likely just testing the waters to see if you still like them. You deserve better than a person who only really wants their ego stroked. Don't sit around waiting as an option to THEM. Be a priority for YOURSELF
Thank you for this information. I am keeping strong with no contact & I feel he will not contact me since he found a new girl. I am still learning from your videos & for the first time in my life, I am putting myself FIRST. Addressing my issues & will be better to myself!
It’s almost easier to move on when you know they’re with someone else or don’t care. You know where you stand. On/off behaviour and mixed messages leave you anxious, confused and hanging on. Good luck to you.
I feel better when I have no contact with him but he contacts me occasionally about the kids. It sets me back.
Petros Giorgallis But I can read things into it..
It's been 5 1/2 months since we split, most days I see him at work, but I have held to no contact as much as possible. He went into a rebound relationship at some point, I'm guessing not even three months later...maybe sooner. At any rate, something has changed with him in the past week or so. I'd like to believe I've shifted the power back to me, or maybe something went south with the new one. I'm not sure what, but it's interesting to watch.
My ex gf told me she wasn't happy and for me to be happy and to let her go I'm blocked everywhere as well was with her for 7 years as well I'm screwed :'(
Update?
My ex broke up with me and I did all what I wasn't supposed to do -- begged, pleaded, cried alot and he said i should move on. He said he feels so relax and not coming back anymore. I can't understand why he threw what we had and hadn't considered that we're already engaged!
When i found your channel, it was a blessing as I started to focus on my self. Understood that i am also a special person, contributed good things in the relp and is worth loving. I'm doing the NC not only in the hopes of getting him back, but to better myself. I am now able to do things i always wanted to do - surf,skydive, travel alot,go to gym,watch series, read articles for mental improvement,even started to look for better job opportunities (although i still am employed in a good company). When the time comes we get a chance to communicate again as we are Long distance, i know il be able to offer a better me in the relp. I would be able to handle myself without breaking down infront of him. Thanks Craig and Margaret. Pls keep on uploading helpful vids. I love you both! Godbless you two!
Did he reachout? Any update
I have been in no contact for a year and a half, I guess I know now that I never matterd to him (we were in a 4 almost 5 year ldr) It just hurts cause I still miss him. I loved him and he will never love me. 💔 it is the worst feeling in the world.
I understand your pain. I’m going on 10 months no contact from a 3 year ldr.
Update?
I love this video! Coach Margaret is very helpful too. You both have empathy and understanding. I feel better knowing you understand what its like going through a break up.
Hey Craig, could you put a play list together or point me towards a some videos that outline how you should act with your ex when your meeting them again for the first time? I know you speak about this in a lot of videos but hard to find specific ones.
Thanks loving the workbooks!
Day 3 of no contact, 💔💔💔💔💔 from a very short relationship but it still stabs my heart.
How is it going ?
Update?
Me and my ex broke up a few weeks before valentine's day. I only hit him the week of our break up for my things. I did ask to link up and he asked if I still wanted to and i told him I don't think it's a good idea anymore. Then i drunk called him on valentine's day and thankfully he didn't answer....lol. He called me the day after and I ignored but i messaged him and told him it was an accident. After that i haven't heard from him and it's been a little over a month. I miss him a little bit but i would rather not look back because i want someone better, maybe older, and more financially established. I just don't want to be taking for granted or giving the bare minimum.
Update plz did they come back
Craig, I really hope this reaches you.
I’m currently on my third week (today) of no contact with my ex. And I’m incredibly underslept, frustrated, and irritated by her last words. Anxiously focusing on what she told me. When she broke up with me, she began to ignore me, not listen to me at all, wouldn’t let me meet up with her, she went really cold and cut me off. She told me to give her space and I need to consider her feelings.
In my extremely tired and anxious state, I’m currently in the anger stage of grief. How could she do all of this to me and then expect ME to consider HER feelings? Why is she not considering mine? Why am I the one that’s just been broken up with and extremely hurt, but also has to be the one to consider their feelings? I’ve seen her out since we broke up and she looks happy, she’s enjoying herself.. why should I be the one to be courteous and not the other way around? Please cover this if you can in a video because on days like today I really need to hear it so I can control my anxiety😔
Yep, every relationship it's men who have to consider their feelings, men can't have them, also the vague excuses to break up with no mention of a definite situation or a behaviour they didn't like, you're just supposed to guess. Other than babies, what's the point of having a relationship with women? I got broken up with because of what her mother was saying in the background and I knew nothing about it. 3 years of a relationship, never heard from her in 17 months, after saving her and her families lives? I'm done with women.
I forgot I left this comment. I must’ve been really underslept. This girl still hasn’t reached out to me at all. I even bumped into her and asked if we could talk and she simply said “no” and walked off. I know what I did, and I am certain that my mistakes do not warrant this kind of cold-hearted, stonewalling response. She didn’t even allow us to have a discussion, offer me closure, lessen the feeling of guilt, or anything. In my opinion this was a horrible, horrible way to end things with someone.
I even remember I reached out a couple of times to say that I’m not trying to fight for her back, that I know she’s not coming back, etc. I just want to talk and part ways amicably, and it was again completely ignored.
I liked everything about her up until this point. Now I know this is no way to treat someone. I agree with you quite a lot. She’s moving onto the next one with a complete and total lack of regard or compromise for my feelings. All I have to do is “consider” hers, and to this day I can’t help but feel that was such a selfish thing for her to say to me. I have been through hell trying to process this, and she has done nothing to ease this pain and guilt, feeling absolutely fine with herself. It’s selfish, and nothing but.
My ex had abandonment issues but was so closed off to them that he was treating me so poorly as his mother treated him - threatening abandonment and following through with it with me to get me in line ... his mother was trying the same tactics through him to me to get me in line !!! I will never abide. As a result my partner made his mind up and now we don’t speak.
I'm in no contact it's been 5 months and she hasn't reached out... I want to reach out to her so bad but I know id be digging my grave deeper. I did do A lot of things to offend her. I love this girl and seems that I'm losing her more and as days go by. It's very difficult this no contact all I think of is her. God bless all of you guys and gals going through this.
Did she ever reach out
@@ett2 Let her go....she will probably not be contacting you. Move on....find someone better.
Update?
Today was day 45 of NC. This sucks :(
Haha I quit no contact after almost thirty days. Now my focus is just showing her that I'm confident enough to accept the breakup and to make her laugh and feel comfortable.
Nope....6 months. Not a word. Not a like on a post and I went straight into no contact and she didn't even tell me she was breaking up with me. She just never responded to my last message. It's the most pain imaginable because she didn't even say she was breaking up with me or if I did anything wrong. She just threw me away
Love from India ❤️ and it’s always a treat to see the laughing face of margaret ❤️ and Craig is wise too❤️ god bless both of you !! I hope one day I will see the result what I desire❤️
I’m going on 9 months with no contact with the ex. She blocked me on social media and I never did or said anything. Don’t know why but our mutual friend which we are both really close with said I will never see or talk to her again. No clue and I gave up. It’s her loss and not mine.
coach craig, you mention if we take things slow when they reach out(which I assume means dont immediately ask them to meet) - they'll be anxious. in other videos you mention inviting them out when they reach out. which do you feel is better?
Update??
I broke up with my LDR guy and I texted him with "Happy Father's Day". It was only last week when I 'let go' but I do miss him and want to get together again but I want him to appreciate me and make me feel wanted. I want him to reach out to me.
zeus4honey ... You are right! That’s one of the couple of occasions when the dumpee should reach out first.
iam finished with my ex never talk to him again happy it been a year
So wtf are you watching this vidéo ?
I dont know why he blocked me we had a perfect 7 months relationship now we didn’t fight am not sure what happened its 5 months no contact now and i don’t know whats the next step
All I've gotten is an indirect reach out through his son wanting a favor. I did the favor, he didn't thank me. I was so tempted to contact ex to call him out, but I know that wouldn't change things for good. I emailed you about it and saving up for a coaching. Very mixed feelings.
Update?
A little over 6 months in now of NC, and this was the motivation that I needed. Thanks Coach! I was feeling a moment of weakness a couple of weeks ago, and was tempted to text the ex because of a coworkers advice. I told her that the last girl I dated got back with her ex, so she said "why not reach out to your ex?".. I know that's the wrong move, and I will have faith that she will contact me IF & when she is ready.. Btw, I could totally envision another cat indirect/direct if she reaches out 😹 lol
Oh believe me.. I haven't put my life on hold at all.. I've dated and hooked up with 3 women since her, and have moved into my own apartment just this month.. Doesn't stop me from missing her.. She was probably the best girlfriend I've ever had when we were together.. She was really sweet.. Obviously she became ice cold during the breakup though (like most girls at that time)
I don’t keep score or play games- at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to me who reaches out to who first. It’s about the connection and interaction. Some people wait for the other person to make the first move- if both people do that...no one ever communicates. If your growth is genuine- silence or a reply that isn’t positive won’t affect you. Your strong regardless of their reaction or lack thereof.
matrixband12 Right, you just have to make sure you do it when you’re in a strong place. You know yourself and your ex and what caused the break- that matters more than 100 rules on UA-cam.
@@sshuteandrew So you're suggesting that I break no contact after 6 months? This is a girl that explicitly said she needed space, and told me to date other women because she couldn't give me what I wanted out of a relationship (even though she really was).. She also mixed in the "I need to do a lot of work on myself" stuff too, but who knows how true that really was? Likely just excuses to put me down softly. I begged for 2 months for this girl, so I really feel like the only way a spark can be rekindled is if she reaches out. How old are you? My coworker is 54 and she also said the "you shouldn't keep score" comment. I guess when you get older, time becomes more limited, and people are more prone to break NC.
@@matrixband12 my ex is also an avoidant because of her past (she was in a bad marriage for 7 years and her father was verbally abusive to her as a child).. Funny thing is, she was the one that pushed our relationship into lightspeed.. She gave me keys to her apartment on date #3.. She bought me a gift almost every time I saw her.. Her cat is a stray I found outside, so how could she ever truly forget about me? I mostly was indifferent with her, but during a 2 week stretch during the holidays where I was feeling weak (family fights, brother moving, fight with and loss of a friend), she pulled the plug 2 days after my brother's going away event, which she came to. The second I became the person she was being to me, she broke up with me. Textbook avoidant. She can't handle a guy that gets too close or wants her attention more than what she wants.
I agree. Especially if it was around the holidays with plenty distractions.
Could you please do a video on no contact with and avoidant attachment personality
Also, to make things worse. In the same office space
That canadian guy Brad started that 30 days nc.. which is totaly bs.. how the hell you can estimate time in break up cases.breaking up is not math so you can give the number.. i call that 30 days crap..because can make/create more issue and rejections. 30 days is not enough and every break up is different.. i am.at 45 days of NC and have no plans to call/text at all.
hello Craig and Margaret thank you for your help! please can you make a video about the phases an avoidant and an anxious person is going throught during the break up? i think it would be very helpful to see in contrary both sides
3 months Into no contact now starting to feel like she's getting over me as she hasn't reach out as we broke up 2 times before and would of reached out before my stuff is still at hers but not sure to reach out to get my stuff to see how she is or wait for her to tell me go get it...
Get your stuff & move on! Woman disrespect good men all too often.
I haven’t heard from her in 4 months
What if the initial part is over and they realize what it's like to be without you in a negative light? I had control issues and she's happy and liberated now, but if I got her back I think we could fix things. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet since I started giving her space to calm down. Some bad signs are that we're not even supposed to be together anyways (her mom called mine about three weeks ago and said to stop talking to her because our relationship is too much for her age and part of it was how I treated her), she's changed a lot of things I used to control her about (she's started talking to people bad for her relationship with God and she did things I controlled her not to do like got her ears pierced), she said she's happy and my mom said she seems happier and that she wants to move on, and she's told people in a she doesn't-like-me-anymore way about abusive things I did. I'm hoping that time will work it out because as I said it hadn't been 24 hours and I'm working on myself through God as well to get better with how I treat her. Her mom not wanting us to be together until we're older (as of three weeks ago, she may never bless us now) is also a big limiting factor but I don't know if that fully would stop Aubrey from reaching out. I'm broken and I don't want this to happen, I don't want to see her fall in love with anyone else. I should have guarded my heart more than I did and not done anything towards the end to make it worse. May God bless you guys!
funny thing, my old fling from March 2020 just texted me yesterday so for some it takes even more then 400days, so depending on your connection and the other person It can TAKE time :D
hahaa... using the, cat as an "escape goat," I understand it 😄
I need help but I can't afford Skype coaching. What are my other alternatives?
I love you both! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Love From India! ♥️🇮🇳
My ex dumped me, after 2 month send me a text message: "You should know that I miss you and thinking about you. I just would like to talk but I don't want to come back right now. Maybe in the future..." I'm so confused
The hell with that he's leaving you in limbo. An emotional yoyo. Let him go
45 days no contact for me. Not sure she will reach out, I made a bunch of mistakes after the breakup and am blocked right now. Our relationship was good overall and I was the best she ever had. She probably needs more time, but I’ve recognized where I went wrong and the whoever I’m with next will be better for it.
Update?
My ex hasn’t reached out in over a year. She’s got into a second relationship. I guess she moved on. Sometimes I feel like she’s not reaching out on purpose to try and counteract the no contact and make me pissed and hurt again, but I’m trying really hard to not allow it and move forward
I needed this so much. It came at perfect timing. Once again you guys nailed it. Thank you for your continuous effort to help us out here in the doing game which most often than not is very hard!
I own 4 cats and my ex asked me to send her pictures of them almost every day. I'm almost convinced she will reach out about the cats if she decides to reach out. The problem is that we were long distance and the sudden shift to talking about closing the distance sparked anxiety and she looked for reasons to break up ( theory along with I didnt treat her the best I could. I fucked up in many ways, but I am definitely a good person and she and I shared a really strong and loving bond ). I'm afraid she might find someone else while we are away, but I also know she is anxious with men in general due to her anxiety from her childhood, so I know she doesn't think she is worthy of praise at least on her appearance etc. I'm sure she thinks about me and loves me in some way still. I just wonder how long this could take and if I will get a chance to show her how much I add to her life again some day.
How's things with the ex 2 yrs later? I'm just curious. I'm trying to find out if any of the ppl that have posted a few years ago turned out.
I've been in no contact for 16 months now. Never heard back from her. I feel like death.
17 months for me and nothing after 3.5 year relationship. Seeing success stories were the relationship was awful and they reach out 3-9 months later? I get pissed off with it.
Unfortunately no contact has failed me and I’ve been told by many women friends that I waited too long to reach out and try to reattract her and win her back and in that time and space i gave her to heal she was shopping around for other guys and is now with someone new only 2 months after the break up ,maybe in the beginning she was missing me like crazy and I had a stronger chance to win her back and I regret it everyday so I say give it two or three weeks max! especially if you’re the one who fucked up
It’s not your fault bro she ended the relationship. You did the right thing by doing no contact. The fact that she didn’t reach out and moved on shows you how much she really cared about your relationship.
Ex called after month and a half of NC, the night before we so happened to see each other at a party she got drunk and I helped her because all her friends left her. While drunk she kept saying “I’m sorry for breaking you heart baby” and would hug me tight, this morning she apologized for having to deal with her drunk, we joked around and I offered to go out, she said Monday before 5 because she goes to the gym after 5, I I said no because I work and don’t get out till 6:30, so I told her to let me know when ever she’s free.
Wait till she reaches out. Next time you want to set dates, just ask, " what's your availability?"
My ex of 8 years told me to break up a year ago and since then i am trying to keep my distance cause i found out that she cheated on me, but every couple of months she texts me and tries to communicate with me with indirect approach, i love her but i don't trust her so if she wants to talk she has to be clear, non of that indirect direct approach shit.
Once a cheater... Always a cheater bro ❤ universe has a better soul for u
Even if you agreed to give the relationship another chance, you’ll always wonder if & when she’ll cheat again. Cheaters never stop cheating, so unless you understand in advance that she’ll do it again eventually, don’t re-enter that arena.
Update?
@@audra1976oliver yeah I moved on, life is bigger.
NC seems to be pushing her further away :(
I am better central emotion than ever after I find you and Margaret
Hugs
Oh I forgot to mention can you guys make a video how to respond to avoidant exes when they get back in contact? Because they are so tricky to deal with. I’ve made a mistake already. I’m mirroring him in emails and is that a bad strategy? I’m not revealing anything about my life and all the personal progress I have made by myself. No idea how to move forward. He did reveal that he craves contact with people... but I dint want him to think I’m easy and available to him! It’s really tricky. Thank you 🙏🏽
I blocked my ex after a argument we had. I blocked her on instagram and at the same time she blocked me on facebook. Its been 2 weeks no contact. Should I unblock her or no?
No, I think it would be an indirect contact. Leave it as it is, when she's ready, if its right, she'll find a way to reach out to you. Atleast thats what doc said
After the breakups, Who’s the one usually reach out first, the dumper or the other side party?
Dumper
Its been 42 days since I did implemented the No Contact Strategy on my ex. She texted me and wanting to know how she could return a few things that I have left behind. I'm afraid this is a sign that she decided to move on. I do want my rings back (even though they arent expensive).
It's been 5 months of no contact and I'm still on 😀
Vaishali Murthy close to 7 nothing for me and we were together 6 years, it was doing great for last 2 months till 3 days ago
Update plz did they come back
@@brielleharmony7568 Nope and I have moved on...there is a better life waiting for you...Even I was crying those days badly and now Iam single, happy and enjoying my life❤️
Damn lol I do miss my cat though
My ex gf and I were togueter for 8 months Over some missunderstandings she proposed the breakup and I broke up with her (Still dont know why I did it). Then begged and pleaded the first two weeks. There was never a huge fight or big issues. Just random couple differences. We’ve practically hooked up twice per week since our breakup 2 months algo. We were togueter last time 5 days ago. But I’m done chasing. Is exhausting. She likes me but wont come back. It could be pride. No idea. Is NC (5 days so far) really the best choice?
Any update on your situation? Keen to hear how this pans out
My ex told me he moved on after a month even tho we were engaged and lived together. He told me to move on as well and to not worry because I’m a few months time I won’t even remember his name anymore. I’m still very hurt by his comment
had No contact for almost a month...then she wrote me a few days ago for my bday...But it was a longer Message - Not Just bday stuff. she asked me how im doin etc and told me i could contact her and let her know. i was a little overwhelmed...didnt expect to hear from her. also didnt wanna have another long conversation with all These emotions. so i Just politely thanked her for the Message . she didnt reply though
True story, i had a 5 year relationship, my ex ended it , i went NC , i did it to the letter,
20 months later she contacts me, but i had moved on ,
i had a new gf, it wasnt very serious more like me forcing myself to move on, but my ex had been such a dick after we broke up, i just couldnt do it again, so i walked away , it was a strange completion
Respect to you both!!
I jest remind myself how controlling of a narc they were an how I can go do what I want when I want.
What if they were verbally vicious, emotionally destructive and completely callous during the break up and then finished it off with “I don’t want anything to do with you any more, I’m done with you, don’t text me or call me”, and then blocks calling and texting methods? How do you respond if that ex eventually reaches out?
You don’t, that’s toxic. You deserve someone better. I hope you’re okay :/
N8F - I might not have worded it well. Al the things I listed were during the break up, they weren’t like that to me during the years they were in my life. That’s why it’s so hard to believe
What about a happy birthday hope you're doing well and after you say thank you, hope you are too they don't reply.
I reached out for my ex after 5 months
Calida 89 and? What happened? Another coach said I could reach out now.. it’s been 3 months for me
@@tacobelle69 who was the dumper?
Calida 89 he was.. I freaked out and got a,little hostile, then didn’t contact him for a week, then I sent an apology and he responded kindly and said he didn’t judge and now it’s been no contact for 90 days.. I feel a lot better and I’m not really trying to get him back but I would like a friendship with him. I haven’t decided if I am going to reach out or not.
Calida 89 but if I do talk to him I’m not going “give him a piece of my mind” or anything lol...I’m just going to be chill and act like it didn’t bother me and be zero drama :)
@@tacobelle69 Hmmm difficult.. Tht rs I talked about was different.. I wasn't ready for a rs n he had to stop contact as he loved me.. N I couldn't appreciate his love n wht he did for me.. N after other experiences n time I started to miss him n appreciated his romantic nature.. Thtswhy I contacted him n chemistry was again there right away..
So it's actually not your case.. If your really really honest n seriously don't want him back than I would let him know tht u still miss his friendship..
But could u handle other women?
His birthday is coming up in June: he left me about 3 weeks ago...stay in no contact, correct? No birthday wishes? I have been in strict no contact awaiting to see if he responds or I heal and move on.
Please, can you advise me how to create anxiety in my ex, even though we have to work together and see each other every day?
Its been 214 days since we last met. Is there any hope?
I have worked on myself so much, and I have improved so much. I know my ex would be mind blown if she saw me now. But I find it so hard to do this no contact. And I fear she won't want to repair things.
Update?
Dont be a panic pick.