My Ex Replies But Doesn't Initiate
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- Опубліковано 1 сер 2024
- Clay Andrews answers the question: My ex replies but doesn't initiate contact with me, what can I do?
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If you're concerned that your ex responds but doesn't initiate when you contact them, you're in luck, because that is what we are discussing in this video.
There could be many reasons why your ex might respond to you, but feel uncomfortable initiating contact. If your ex replies but never initiates, it shows that there is some degree of emotional connection there, but something is stopping them from feeling 100% comfortable taking the initiative.
Many times this can be because they aren't sure how you feel and they feel that it is too much of a risk for them to make the first move. After all, what would they say if they reached out to you and you didn't want to talk to them? They might feel embarrassed or humiliated. So they might just wait for you to make the first move. How can you resolve this situation? Let's explore that in the video.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - Навчання та стиль
Thanks for watching this video, and I hope you're having a good weekend. Please take a moment and just breathe. There's so much tension and uncertainty in the world right now. Having relationship issues on top of that is probably the last thing you want. Together, we'll find a way to pull through all of this. Take care and stay safe out there.
Thank you so much for clarifying these important/possible reasons, of which I don't think another UA-camr has tackled before. Wonderful clarification...I can't thank you enough....💚💚👏👏👏👏
Thank you so much for this video. I needed this one for awhile.
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thank you for this video :) i feel like you are one of the few relationship coaches who actually focus on the period after no contact as well. I find that most coaches accentuate on the no contact, but there is very little information/advice on what to do after no contact. I think your behaviour AFTER no contact is just as important as during no contact and that you shouldn't think you got your ex back as soon as you are in contact. There are many mistakes that you can still make and it is very crucial to say and do the right things. I hope that you will make more videos on the stages after no contact in the future :)
This is very timely for my upcoming interaction. This and the material covered in the Ex Solution Program are great guidance to effective and positive emotionally connecting interactions. Thanks again brother!
EXCELLENT!!!!
Clay get out of my head. Lol seriously this is my life. A long term relationship ended last year and now we are back talking but it is a slow-moving train and I mostly reach out. Knowing my ex I do believe he feels guilty and also all or nothing. he is such a romantic and he loved showing me a great time I think due to financial stress he feels guilty. It is a lot. But yes we are back talking. Thank you. I always thumbs up your videos because you are amazing.
I'm in same situation, but he still has some anxiety n not very confident.
Yeah if we feel you stay with us because you feel bad about our financial means, he may just need real emotion and a real talk about how you'll stick with him through thick and thin ;-)
Sorry 🙏
Any update?
Wow I needed this right now. Thank you
You are so welcome
@2:40 your ex might feel guilty for hurting you in the past
@3:30 too much expectations
@6:00 they are in a rebound relationship
@6:40 friendzone but flirty
she always used to be the passive one. now If i Initiate - shes the one to keep the conversation going
Holy shit this is literally happening in my life right now. The last time I saw him he said we are friends and that he feels I have his back and that I get him but he feels he isn't the relationship type cause he says he basically sabotages relationships. He really opened up this last time like more and more. I guess I'm on the right track
hey emma im in a similar situation please give us an update on how things went
@@Babyboyszz I'm actually pregnant with his baby so he's been freaking out and has been saying he's not ready to be a dad but I'm seeing how things unfold. He still doesn't have a job and he did ask me last month to move in and talking about babies so much going on ....
@@elopez198725 damn sis good luck with the pregnancy. Try to be there for him and validate his feelings so he can be there for you and your child.
I'd make him feel comfort in your arms. He needs to know where home is..mm
Any updates?
really don't know if i can handle "the friends zone"🙈
thank to Dr ogume who help me brought back my ex days ago
Just hop on top of him and take him lol if not he'll run...
One can start "replying" to a former text they sent:
"And what a nice youtubelink you sent me before. I listened to that music on repeat :-) later on",
and then keep responding to his future messages.
We can actually turn around the conversation, I have done this successfully. I have become the responding party and he likes it because he wants to impress a woman, not just because I am his ex.
@anothercat9600 , thanks for sharing your experience on this. It's great to know that your interactions went well. :-)
@@ClayAndrews Thank you! I continue on our joint music geekdom (it made him ask me out and meet me) and then I will have to say something more vulnerable, my feelings about music (not about relationships though), hoping to connect emotionally.
Because right now he is all about showing happiness, no other emotion, 24/7, a bit tense, wonder if there is a misunderstanding and he thinks I was the one who broke up with him, not sure, but anyway, me showing consistency and calm might help, thank you very much for this clip on Emotional Connection :-)
She was the one who said, you can keep your moms Christmas stuff here. Sounds like SHE wanted a connection. I do not lean to relationship talk when and if we do talk. I have no clue what she is doing. A first happened this week, she texted me, just general stuff, I responded, asked some questions, she is putting a new deck on her house, then I left it alone. Next week is coming lets see what happens. But still 99% of the time I do the contacting.
Clay, I cant help but think I inspired this video, since I always say I initiate she does nothing. BTW, its Saturday, go relax. LOL
Love that! Thank you very much. :-) Don't worry, we are taking our rest days as well.
That would explain why my ex is not initiating, he might be feeling guilty about the break up. I doubt it is the high expectation and doubt rebound relationship
My ex is definitely reason #1 now I understand
My ex and I have been in contact for a while but again it feels like I am the only one putting so much effort in the conversation. I send videos/memes and she replies with laughing or we end up talking about the topic sometimes she even flirts but again she doesn’t send me anything back and If I don’t say anything she won’t text me first.
It's typically normal if we feel like we are doing all the effort. But if the process makes you feel emotionally burned out, take some time to focus on gaining your energy back. Your well-being is also important as much as it is in getting our ex back.
So that's just how you two are! Is it that much different than when you were in a relationship?
The guy is me. But I’m a woman. I got tired of putting in with my ex who I got back with for 2 months. He never initiated to video call me, it was a big factor since we were in ldr. He did not try to really win me back even though he was the one who came back to me. I was emotional exhausted then I finally decided to end us. I still have feelings for him but it doesn’t matter. Two weeks have passed now and I am still moving on. I’m not sure why I am here. Or maybe I’m seeking for validation on my decision.
I’m talking to a guy who said he hates silly texts he’s old school and would rather talk on the phone .. so we’ve done that a few times but he has enough tone to play on social media .. makes no sense to me
He Doesn't Even Respond Let Known Intitate, Smh!
How long has it been?
My current problem is that we talk on calls with people all the time and have fun (we are long distance and have the same friend group) but in private messages I’m always initiating and he replies late and very uninterested. I don’t know if I should ask him about it. (Last I heard it was so he doesn’t lead me on)
my case is more complicated. She takes initiative some times, and maybe the next day she replies with one phrase, or I call her and doesnt respond or responds and she is in a hurry to hang up. She told me she loved me so much some days ago and that she wants to make love to me when she gets well from covid, and after a couple of days she started ignoring me again and answering like im a stranger. She answers very typically without emotion.
I dont know if she ever loved me, i dont know how she feels.
All I know is I miss her and I still love her very much there I said it 😢
my ex in a rebound relationship for 5 months now. i have to initiate the phone calls and text, she always responds to them and if i set up a time for us to meet we do. Any suggestion on next steps when i meet up with her? Or should i stay in NC and wait til she starts to initiate?
I have 0 idea whats going on in my ex's head.
Directly after the breakup we tenatively talked semi regularly (every few days). She used to initiate contact as often as me before the breakup but after it was mostly me. She was down on herself saying sorry and saying "stupid, weak me" in referance to the way things ended so guilt was a factor at least at first.
Then just before she got a bf (like a week before) she dropped off communication entirely. Id say if I texted her 5 times id get one reply (not that i texted that often but still)
Right now she does reply sometimes but not often and never initiates. Im honestly thinking it has more to do with the rebound than me or guilt. Im trying to prove I want to be friends (not really because I still love her but you know) so its less weird but we'll see. I just hope me and her can talk again. Not as often as we used to but still more than one reply every 2 weeks.
How has it worked out with your ex ?
My ex initiates by commenting on my IG stories but won’t make plans with me cuz he’s seeing someone else. I agree about the friendship part makes it ok for the ex to be in contact bc its a friendship so I’m not cheating on my current bf
That's correct, it wouldn't be considered cheating as long as you have already moved on from the past and is not emotionally/romantically attached to your ex. :-)
Do you wish to get your ex baxk??
Sir... pls do a video for relationship manifestation signs
Do you have trouble with your relationship worry no more connect with a love Dr who helped me too get back with my ex
Was thinking of seeing if my ex wanted to grab some supper and play pool,bad idea?
Clay, my ex broke up with me the end of last summer. I tried convincing he rto take me back for a long time, it didnt work, then stayed in limited contact. In February she reached out to be friends and see where it goes, (I had planned to go all or nothing and wasnt prepped for this) it srarted well, but over a few weeks, she stressed more and more to be just friends, and I couldn't take it and let out my feelings, then she said we could only be platonic. I accepted even this, as I was too attached to lose her, but she wasnt responding, so I told her to take time and did nc until September. She asked me for an intimate video I made of her, and said sure, but thinking of those things and what she wanted them for had me anxious that she wanted to use it to attract someone else. So I kept in contact to try to reconnect. I was getting somewhere, but I think I pushed too much in wanting to meet to catch up, and shes gone cold, like not interested in me. Pretty sure shes a dismissive avoidant as well. Her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and idk whether I should calm up and ignore it, or ask her whats up/ how to not make her uncomfortable. ? She is very stubborn in thinking that we're not compatible, but i dont believe that..
@I’m Reckless
Thanks.
Going through the same issue again now bc we're talking again, bit she has someone. So she says she can meet to catch up, but it would be platonic. I'm trying not to show much interest, I dont want to be friends.
@I’m Reckless
She has always been a kind nice person, that's part of why this has been so hard! I may have to do that, I've changed myself so much for the better, but she can't see it.
My bf and I were getting along fine . I am 67 and he is 60 a divorcee with two sons. After two months of lockdown, he said, let's be friends. We were so intimate..I was so down. He still texts me and says still love me. I am so confused. I just felt like asking him whether it is possible to be lovers again and afraid he may give me false hope..I am really confused with the way he is treating this relationship.
he dounds toxic
X didn't talk to me for 2 days after the break up I didn't either
She reached out
And now hasn't stopped talking with me for over a month.
Heads in a spin
After 1 month she contacted me, last week we texted about trying to be in a relationship together again but she wasn't too sure about it, she has doubts , it all started good but after a few days it was difficult to have a good conversation and then she became cold so I imitate her attitude but it's been a day since our last text, she didn't reply to me... I don't know what to do to connect with her again.
I feel you bro, happening to me to. Probably just wait for her to respond
We Just met after a 3 week pause that he initiated. He contacted me and we met up, he cooked for me, emotions were over the roof, and we got intimate. Then he stopped initiating texts... now I don't know if i should just pull back? I'm sure he is in that block you talk about, I even asked him what he wants before we got intimate and he said "I don't know... I thought I didnt want you anymore but now all I feel is I want you like crazy.." he is definitely indecisive and doesnt want to give me false hope. Should I stick around and initiate or just pull away?
Almost same situation here
I am in the exact situation right now. He’s moving away in one week, but hasn’t contacted me since we slept together.
@@drama2u well all i can say, its probably not worth it. We wenx back to limbo after that, still communicating, and even sleeping together one more time. Only for him to tell me 2 days later that he fell in love with someone else. Which was only a lie to get a reaction from me, which i found out from another girl who he was hitting on all the time while we limboed and she made it clear she wasnt interested... he told him the same lie about finding a girl and falling in love, probably to get a jealous reaction from her to validate him, but she just told him he was ridiculous. He kept on chasing her even after she told him he was ridiculous for saying he was falling in love with a girl he just met. He then continued to text me trying reverse our situation (coz i told him he was crazy and needed help or therapy... not quite the reaction he wished for, probably he thought u gonna fight and chase him more after he told me he fell in love with someone else) he tried all kind of ridiculous manipulations by that time i already discovered his lies by becoming friends with that girl he was hitting on. We were planning kind of a public revenge humiliation, like showing up together at his workplace, which we ended up never doing, it was not even worth the gasoline to go there. He still texted me once or twice, when i posted on social media that im moving away, he wished me good luck. Never spoke again, its been 2 months. But he is following my stories on insta. I stopped even checking his, i have an app for opening those without letting him know i have seen them and its just so satisfying to know that he doesn't even know that i have seen it ahahahah... but lately i dont even feel the need to check. I have finally moved on (well, moving 3200 km away helped for sure)
@@BudapestKizombaConnection wow good for you girl.. I’m glad you have moved on and that karma got caught up with him..what app did you use to check on IG?
I tried being friends with my ex while he’s in his rebound relationship & everything was fine until he randomly blocked me in the middle of a conversation & said “I’m sorry I need to make better decisions.” Then unlocks me a month later, messages me about some stupid dream he had about me & tries to act like nothing happened. What do I do?
Mirror his behaviour
Block him back. He dumped you and was in a rebound relationship, shouldn't be talking to you. And you should respect yourself and not try this false friendship. They lose respect and feelings for us when we put in this second place in their lives. Move on
Honestly.... I think I know what's going on.... he's either afraid because he envisioned a life and now it's becoming too real, or he's angry about some insecurities he may have....
Never be friends, you are putting yourself in the friend zone, and I'm telling you the only way to properly get an ex back is to go total NO CONTACT, you need to let him miss you! And when your un the friend zone, that will hinder them from wanting to come back in a romantic relationship! And never be FWB.......
Does this apply if you broke up with them?
My ex doesn’t initiate contact usually unless it’s about having our dog or about our house we’re still building. It’s been 5 months, he’s in a new relationship but he still has us as engaged on Facebook 🙄
Everything has gone ideally. Clean break off, built emotional connection when we started late night calls immediately after the breakup, we both flirted with each other a bit, all felt good then boom. She stopped initiating, became distant and cold. I’m so lost, I’ve had the “same team talk/hey let me know what I did for you to become distant” but nothing. I need direction, but for now I’m going to stop reaching out to her.
wait u started contacting right after the breakup?
@@danieln704 yup, she started it, and it was 50/50 until now. She tells me it’s just cuz she’s so busy which is kinda true
My ex told me he has something to prove to me because he hurt me, that he was sorry. He said that we can talk but not about the past or getting back together. He also told me he still loved me and that he missed me to, but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t understand
My ex tells me, that she wants to work things out, when i initiate, but wont contact me at all, i dont want to seem needy, so ive been waiting for her to initiate, but she hasnt. And its been 8 days since we talked
If you are emotionally ready, you may initiate contact with your ex. Remember to take the Active approach instead of being passive.
Updated.. she ended it, and im devastated
@@take5podcast beg her back
@@take5podcast never beg
I get the feeling that my Ex is afraid of showing her true feelings towards me, I’ve no idea why though. She’s gone from not acknowledging my messages to responding three times in the last two days. Is this down to her changing attitudes or is she simply trying to be friendly?
My Ex is now 5 months into her rebound relationship and it looks like shine is wearing off, I’ve found out that she’s going away for a weekend without her new friend.
@@terencefletcher8928 why are you still so focused on her?
@@desertcat1171 Do you know I’m not really sure.
@@terencefletcher8928 hmmm. How will you heal if you don't disconnect?
@@terencefletcher8928 my ex is doing the same thing and now she’s just gone ghost on me unless I msg her. And she’s constantly online so I’m going to back off. She has emotionally not goos
How do you turn around an ex that has basically said it's over ?
It depends. Because you have to understand the reason of the breakup if it had made a huge impact on her decision. Second, is how you regained her trust and confidence back. There could be other additional factors that has to goes along with it in the process. So in general, inspiring our ex's affection is a process.
thank to Dr ogume who help me brought back my ex days ago
So, I emailed my ex after years of no contact. He replied about two weeks later. I have no idea how to reply back. Part because I don't know how to interpret his reply. What do I do? Is there a video in how to approach this situation?
Take some time to process the information first. Never rush on your reply. Focus on sincerity and not just about writing things that your ex wants to hear or read.
I did the same I contacted him after 6 years and his not telling me if his in a relationship or not
My ex initiates just about every day but she will ask me why I dont initiate more. I do initiate some but I'm trying to gauge where we are at.We talk every day. One day we didnt talk and the next day she said missed you yesterday. I'm trying to get things to happen faster because its moving slow but I can be patient. We rarely see each other in person but we message like crazy. It flows just like when we were in a romantic relationship. All that is missing is the romance. We've been apart 14 months but are still this close.There is nothing practical keeping us this close.
What are you questioning? When things start to become.obvious, retreat from questions, don't overanalyze your gift, just unwrap it and move forward. You don't have time to waste!
@@SAMEntalhealth I guess its just the uncertainty or insecurity of it all. Some days I believe in it happening and other days I'm unsure. I appreciate the advice.
@@brettming9015 I'm the same. I know I could make her happy for the rest of our lives but it's all in fate's hands now.... I am very sad...
@@SAMEntalhealth I'm sorry man. Its very difficult. Do you think in my situation that I'm over thinking it? I hope your situation works out and she sees that you are the one for her.
@@brettming9015 my advice.... don't play games anymore. Games like NC, or keeping your distance. You need to be near her tbh... she's calling out for you in a way. It's just human nature at this point
Heyyy Coach..my ex broke no contact and started texting me ,and asked to meet me ..We did it met and it went well but later on he became cold again .Not responding to texts for long periods of time and not initiating
Let him initiate a bit more. Update?
@@kenbear9290 I don't want him anymore .He was having sex with his ex while telling me that he won't be having sex and get in any relationship after we broke up and the lie lasted for 8 months.and he was lying to me that he wasn't living in the same dorm with his ex but he was when we weree in a relationship .Anyhow ,I treated him cheaply as only a sexual matter then he blocked me on insta then I blocked him every.He unblocked me 5 days later and I was passing by a gas station and in a coincidence he drove passed me .He wad leaving already and I was just starting to refuel when I got into the highway ,he was parking at the side and as I passed ,he returned back to the highway
My ex initiates every single conversations. She even called me recently. I mean I can go days ignoring her and she still texts me. Xmas she texted me at 23h58 right before midnight hit. New years 00h02 I responded much later at like 1 or 2 in the night. When I reply to her like the next day she responds in seconds. She made sure to mention she was single in a few texts she sent me and that she didn't have time to see anybody. We used to text every single day like crazy about anything and we had mad sex like 4 5 times a night. I did ask her to grab a bite when she has time and she said when she does she will let me know with a wink. I keep convo short like I'm extremely busy. But I mean I feel it doesn't lead anywhere.
Bro it seems Like shes Stil Into you
@@josephari5370 i'm not sure. She did come back in my life for a very short period of time and left again. I stopped responding to her for a few months and met another girl. Every once in a while she still reaches out. I keep it very short and don't answer every time. I mean I still have good memories of her and sometimes I get a bit nostalgic but such is life. Cool thing is I worked out non stop for almost a year, worked on myself. I'm 38 and been dating a girl that's 25. Anyways thanks for reading my stuff. Appreciate it.
@@schwarz7670 Ofc. We're in this together . Im also in a Very complicated Situation that im tryin to Deal with
@@josephari5370 if you feel like talking to a random stranger let me know.
@@schwarz7670 Well i have this friend. She was my best friend for years . And weve Always been platonic. Shes got a Bf. But around Xmas Last year she started acting differently around me. At First i shrugged it Off..but after spending every Weekend together cuddled Up Like a couple. I told her that i developed feelings. She didnt say anything and we decided to stay Friends. Then she went on vacation without her bf. after she returned she desperately wanted to see me. We Met Up. Got drunk and she confessed that she missed me every single day she was gone and we Met Up even more frequently. Went on Trips together and one night we went Dancing , she got tipsy, confessed her feelings for me and kissed me. We ultimately met Up sober , confessed Our feelings again for one another but she was too afraid to leave her bf. He doesnt treat her Well. After reaching Out a few Times i couldnt handle his Back and forth anymore. So i got angry at her...but apologized after. She then asked for space and time . But has now reached Out a few Times. We will probably See each other by the end of october cause I travel a Lot at the Moment. But i dont know If we can salvage our friendship or If Theres still more.
or they don't contact you because they are in a relationship or married
That can also be one of the possibilities.
Hey Clay I was at the crisis point and I told my ex that I wanted to be with her she has a boyfriend and told me that we should keep our distance
I'm sorry to hear about that, Kenson. Now that your ex told you that you should both keep the distance, how would you like to move forward given the situation?
Clay Andrews were still friends just not as close anymore and I feel like her current boyfriend is most likely a rebound. I still want to be close to her but I need to respect her decision
@@kensontelira7122 how did it go
my Ex boyfriend calls me all we go out sometines
What if he cheated?
Hi Anna, that will go back on your personal values. Is cheating something that is against your personal values and a deal breaker or maybe, you'd like to listen on his side of the story first before making certain decision.
thank to Dr ogume who help me brought back my ex days ago
I have this issue...if i message her she will reply with a couple of lines but never initiates. I almost feel like i am bothering her when i get in touch....so I am trying to give her peace now. Its sad as we had two great years before she dumped me out of the blue in august 2019.
Worry no more while I introduce you to a man who helped me get back my ex within 5days you can connect him too if you wish to have her back
Wow same exact thing for me. I was in contact with my ex, her birthday is coming up, but she went cold after I tried to get her to meet up before then. Idk what to do- ignore her and the birthday in a couple weeks, or ask her why she's uncomfortable talking to me? She also broke up with me Aug. 2019.
She’s very passive. She thanks me for all the love I gave her then tells me goodbye. Don’t understand this.
I've broken no contact many times now. But I think I understand now why he needs space. So im going into active no contact and do it religiously He can admit that he " worries" about me but doesn't miss me or feel the love. I asked him to reconsider whilst decreasing the expectations for him and he still said that he is 100% sure of his decision. Is he confused or is it just not gonna happen? Does telling him to "reconsider" and giving him the break render no contact useless?
Rashi, sounds like he still needs to figure out what he really wants in his life and in his relationship with you. The space between the two of you will help him assess his emotions and thoughts while you are focusing your energies towards your own healing and self.
I'm the ex that won't initiate. It means I dont want you anymore. Just being polite by answering back. But we really wish you would just go away and move on with your life.
Lololol good point!
I'm a man
In your replying back, did you ever say "I was thinking about you" or do any apologizing? Anything like that? Just curious
Isn't that just hurtful asf tho? Just tell them you don't want to talk to them, being "polite" is just going to hurt them more.
You are a cruel person you should either not apply or tell them!
Str8 clown show bahahaha.