Ok, but that kind of raises a question: what DOES matter in the long run? I find it hard to find any. I mean if you give anything a long enough time, it won't matter.
i mean yeah I kind of agree. Which means nothing is worth sacrificing my or my children's physical or mental health for...not meaning I don't do anything. Just...I stop when I'm running out of physical or mental energy.
I think running yourself into the ground for things YOU think matter is okay, but it's just as important to recognize WHY they matter to you, and only put in as much effort as (a) how much they matter, and (b) how feasible they are. It's also perfectly fine to have something that's very important to you now but is not so important later, and then adjust your speed, tempo, and effort accordingly. As we live, our priorities evolve and change; you're not a computer.
I quit 90% of just about everything, but the very basics. I have no television service, but only an antenna. No phone service, no cellular service, go nowhere but work and back in my work vehicle. I stay in the house otherwise. I put my ugly rosd car into storage in my garage with engine storage foam and took the battery out, drained fuel. I only use the work vehicle. I quit buying things, save food, and do not listen to the radio anymore. I barely watch the teli. Life is just so meaningless.
My sentiments exactly. There are only a few key things that really matter. All the rest is mostly frustrating busy-work. I'm 63, and "been around the block".... It's amazing what you discover about things when you can look back . Most things that we let enslave us really do not matter in the long run.
I haven't quite quit. I totally gave up. I wake up, take a shower, walk 10 feet to my desk, work 8 hours, sit on my porch, come back in, watch TV, maybe read, go to bed, Repeat. I may be dead and I don't know it.
That is why I will not work from home. I do not know your situation but for me going to the office and meeting collegues is really important. Als I started jogging in the morning. Just 20 to 30 minutes. It is not always fun but I do feel better afterwards.. Still everyday is little struggle because I never found my dream job.
I'm have been quiet quitting life for some time: fading out friends; quitting hobbies, facebook, whatsapp; getting rid of stuff saved from childhood and long gone parents; dropping dreams and ambitions and facing facts: I'm not going to be who I dreamed to become though not for lack of trying I think. Instead, I've realized I even wasn't who I thought to be. I've started to, well, not quite enjoy but, to get again accustomed to my job. Bit like 20 year old shoes that you almost threw away for a new flashier pair that never really fit properly. Years ago, 2 weeks of Lamictal triggered realistic and vivid dreams for me. I finally started to enjoy them and sleep. Sleeping is now preferable to being awake.
Not going above and beyond is not quitting or "quiet quitting." It's doing what you are responsible for and nothing more because employers aren't compensating people for "going above and beyond." We really have to stop using the term "quiet quitting" to describe people who are still doing their job.
"Not going above and beyond". Doing our job with no enthusiam for the work itself, apart from the remuneration or compensation that we receive. That sounds like a sad life. Does the ledger of life always have to be so carefully balanced? Or should we always be striving toward getting a little more, or even a lot more remuneration, than the amount of effort that we put in? In other words, should we always be in debt to our employer, who has, in that sense, paid us more than our contribution is worth. While I am 'here' {in the comments under Kati's video}, and enjoy the insights that Kati offers, I do have issues that I face in my life, maybe it is because I always like to give a "baker's dozen", that little bit more, so the ledger is in my favour; I am owed a little more than I have received for my effort. However, I do not think that there is really a connection between the negative issues in my life and my desire to give a little more. What is a bakers dozen and why? noun. a group of 13; a dozen plus one: from the former practice among bakers and other tradespeople of giving 13 items to the dozen as a safeguard against penalties for short weights and measures. The penalties in the 16th century were severe, particularly for staple goods such as bread. I would like to think that, these days, there are more altruistic reasons for giving the "baker's dozen".
@@Lonelymann36 Same..and add that to having no friends or family and having to spend my birthday's, Holiday's, etc alone. At least you have a car to run errands. I don't have a car at this time as I can't afford one on SSDI. I have to take a shuttle or Uber (Ubers can be expensive).
Most people quiet quit because their hard work is rewarded with more hard work instead of more pay. I’ve had plenty of jobs where I worked my butt off and was always the one my boss counted on to step up when needed. I never got raises or promotions even though I worked so hard. So I stopped and asked myself, “why am I working so hard when it gets me nowhere? Why am I working so hard to make my boss rich when my paychecks aren’t getting any bigger?”
Yeah 24 years in the same job and I give what I can but nothing more. I don't go to work on my days off when they try to call me in. I even refuse to be a supervisor because it's just more work but no raise. I make just as much as what I made 24 years ago too. So, right now I'm taking courses online to learn a skill, and change my own life. It's time to shed the past, and move forward.
Extreme greed and treating us all like disposable robots is unethical. Look for companies such as employee-owned, cooperatives, and profit-sharing programs. We need to reach critical mass and make corporations a thing of the past.
You deserve to be happy...it is hard to believe sometimes but do something that used to make you happy. Branch out and make more/ better friends who care.
@@christineleatherwood7987making “friends who care” Is actually the hardest thing to do! I have not been fortunate enough to find anyone who cares. They usually only care about themselves and their image/status, etc. That is what gets me so depressed in the first place. It is a true blessing to have genuine friendships.
Uh .... sure. There are false needs. Like shopping for no reason. And there are REAL needs. The wealth inequality gap is larger & larger every year. How many folks have 4 good tires, an oil change, and enough money for gas, all at the same time? A lot of us are white-knuckling it through the day, have worked our asses off, and we're still broke. Minimum wage no longer offers ANYONE in the USA enough to rent a small, clean 1-bedroom apartment within reasonable travel distance to that job. We're dying out here. And we feel despair. We've been talking about recycling & climate change for 40 years, and hardly anything has changed. We all watched living, breathing citizens of the USA die on video, multiple times. We rally, petition, vote, and protest. Our needs are not met. The future is bleak. Most of us are struggling with the skyrocketing grocery prices. It's scary.
I’m scared too, and overwhelmed with everything that life is throwing at me. So much is expected of each of us, and the older I get (65) the harder it is to get physical things done. And that works on my mental state! It can be a terrible vicious circle for me.
@@dancelep Do not bother with college. That is the number one worse thing one can do today. It starts your life in deep dept and job options are often very low paying anyway. College is a scam to separate people from money and throw the into debt. I make far more than most college graduates without the debt. I was mocked for never going to college. The snowflake software programmer finally asked, "What do you make a year?" When he found out I make triple what he makes, he said,"it is not about money. It is how life perceives you." Well, I hope that pays his bills. College was the way in the 1980s and maybe the early 1990s. It is a joke today.
'Quiet Quitting' is a shaming tactic - 'Working Your Wage' is more apt. Maslow's foundations are intrinsically tied to socioeconomic status. With hugely increased cost-of-living, cost of education, interests rates etc, there is little opportunity to try new things or have new experiences. You can't realize or actualize your dreams if you spend your days exhausting yourself working your main job + side gig just to pay rent and keep your belly full. "Will I ever own a home? Have housing security?" "Will I ever have children? Raise them happy, healthy, well-adjusted?" "Will I ever progress? Will there be supports and reward at the end?" People are reevaluating what brings them happiness and fulfillment in a get-rich-or-die, unsafe, unstable, fool's paradise-y environment. 'Quiet Quitting on life' is part of that process. While this video does offer 'steps in the right direction' concerning Mental Health, it doesn't acknowledge the capital-labour conflict at the root of it all.
I quit life long ago. I am just going through the motions until the end. I did not ask to be born. It was forced on me. I do not appreciate something I did not want. For some, life may be some sort of a gift. For more of us, it is a sentence.
Can totally relate to this. It isn't like we were asked hey this is what life is and that will also include pain and then asked, would you like in or do you opt out. This might be a little bit far but I sometimes think that some parents have children just to give their own life meaning and for something to focus on, which is kinda selfish when you think about it.
@@bathsheba9581 I hope your sentence passes gently, fellow inmate. Rest assured, we will return to being non-existent again! Then our consciousness will return to nothing. I have served about 3/5ths of my sentence.
I'm starting to try to pull self up and peep over the edge at a happier life, but there's a lot of fog on the battle ground. Somedays the fog is so thick I can not see a point to my life. Those are the days I stay hunkered down for hours playing little games on my tablet or feeling guilty for buying more craft supplies that I don't use. I do wonder, "What's the point?." I'm in my mid 70s and I'm tired of dealing with life. Yet, I keep trying.
I am increasingly at odds with how this world works. Just the absolute selfishness in how it is run. The suffering that those in power inflict is so incredibly wearing on the psyche. No wonder people are quiet quitting.
I just go through the motions of life now. I do what I am supposed to do but absolutely no more. I am not going to be taken advantage of again, work-wise, socially, emotionally, spiritually. If this means I have no friends, so be it. More importantly, I will have no enemies no opportunists in my life.
extreme greed is unethical. Many companies need to stop treating people like disposable robots. All of us can look for work at different companies such as cooperatives, employee-owned companies, and profit-sharing programs.
Tbh, I’m at a point where if I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’ll be fine with that. Life is just a dull gray for me. It’s only a matter of time. I just don’t see the point of it all.
YES! This is exactly how I feel. I won’t unalive myself, but if it’s my time to go, I’m fine. Over the last few years, the light- the magic- in the world has gone.
I've been "quiet quitting" on life since I was like 9 because I'm stuck in a situation where I have basically no control over what happens to me and putting in effort is pretty much pointless. I'm 22 now and my entire life is just doing the bare minimum to stay alive
Much love. You will get there We'll never have control but we can get to a point where we're managing the waves and can finally give up on trying to control it. But sometimes the waves are too big and it isnt our fault
Quiet quitting is a disgusting term when used to describe employees doing the bare minimum when paid the bare minimum. You get what you pay. However, it kinda hurt when u feel like doing it in your personal life. I feel you. Not even a minute in the video and I'm like that's me with everything. Having ADHD with mild OCD and being on the spectrum, mad it kinda hard to do what was expected of me, especially since I was untreated until I hit 23... I'm now in the process of stopping it, but it takes a lot of effort. For me it's a job I enjoy and a sport I enjoy. I ride my bike for about 50 minutes total for commute. My biggest problem at work was always being late. My current employer doesn't care so much about it, as long as the job gets done, so I'm happy with it. I'm sure that for you it will be something different. But you will make it eventually. We are both still young. Small increments, will hopefully amount to a lot more in the future!
My work this morning had the audacity to ask about incentives they can offer us to meet our goals. This is after they decided to not give anyone a cost of living raise this year 🙄 I’m a full time WFH with two kids, a spouse who recently had knee surgery and needs to be cared for and we just moved so setting up an entire home and getting it livable with four children total. To say I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed lately is an understatement. My mental health hasn’t suffered yet but I’m sure it’s coming. We’re all trying to keep our heads above water, but at least I know I’m not the only one stretched to my max.
My advice to you is to work on your expenditure in coming months. Sometimes we'll not be able to manage things to stay the same. Also get emotional support through your spouse, they'll be happy to feel needed and you'll get through the hardships. Stay strong sister.
I told my therapist at 58 years old I’m not suicidal or anything like that but I kinda look forward to being dead.. she told me she hears this from an overwhelming number of people these days.. especially those over 50..
@@jameswalker7880 I did the same thing, this was in 2018. I wasn't suicidal..but I said something to my Psychiatrist like I could be dead and no one would know as I have no friends or family left, I try, I try, and try to make friendships, but everyone is in cliques, or in their own world, or on their phones, etc. I like myself which is what I told her. I feel I have a lot to offer. You know what she did? Called the police who escorted me out of the mental health facility and drove me to Fort Hamilton Hospital where a three day hold was put on me. There, I spoke to a Psychiatrist and she said she was having a delightful conversation with me, saw no suicidal tendencies, and wondered why my own Psychiatrist put me there. The whole three days there, they just stuck us in groups to draw, colour like we were little kids. No talk therapy or nothing. The whole thing was silly. I feel the mental health situation in this country is failing us.
Those who call upon the Lord will be saved. Having Jesus in your life will bring life and purpose into your life. I know, Ive lived it. Back in 1974 I had depression and decided to end it all, but I messed up and so I'm still here. Two weeks later I watched a TV movie which was about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and that He came to give us life. Well I thought that this sounded too good to be true, but it would be nice to feel like a different person. I repented and asked Jesus into my life and in a flash, I felt different and I knew that I was forgiven and connected to the Lord. Jesus saves, and He will save you from a life of pointlessness. God loves each one of us and He has a plan for each one of us. We are not just a blob of useless pond scum as evolutionists tell us, we are loved and have a purpose.
People are tired of working there life away and getting nowhere for it but seeing the big corporations continue to beat higher and higher profit margines. To be successful today is much harder than it has ever been. There are more hurdles and hoops to jump through just to achieve the same levels of things as people did 40 years ago and there is a disproportionate amount of what we get back out of our work. Somethings got to give, people are fed up.
Yep. I've been quiet quitting for a long, long time. It doesn't matter how hard I work, I don't get what I need. I don't care what others have. I spend NO TIME on insta or tik tok. I make purchases to keep shoes on my feet and food in my home. Nothing is good or rewarding, it's all survival and trying to avoid pain.
I understand bc I don’t buy anything at all except bare necessities. I still work extremely hard at work bc I never want to lose my job. My job is the only thing I have in my life
At 66, I have quit quietly on life. I have hundreds of books, DVDs and CDs. People have disappointed me greatly and I have little patience for most. I find more satisfaction in a good movie or book than with chatting with a person. When I was 60, I looked 45 but in the last 3 yrs, my looks faded fast as if time caught with me and beat the crap out of me. I was devastated as people always made a big deal of my looks and I felt as if I lost my superpower so I became a bit of a recluse.
You feel entitled to a superpower. I wish I just wasn’t allergic to things literally 97 times a day. Things that are unnecessary and people do for fun. And won’t stop when I ask them to because it’s literally hurting me. Wish I could level up to wishing I wasn’t ugly.
At school as a child l was the top every year not only of the class but the school. I excelled in every subject.. In my teens l was poisoned with mercury and the birth defect of spinabifida kicked in destroying my powers of concentration at a time when l needed them especially. I ended up losing much of my motivation and ended up class dunce. I never recovered nor got used to being a mediocrity after being such a high flyer. I'm old now and it's all been a waste of time.
I've quiet quit life because in this society, expressing any real desire to actively quit life will land you locked up without your shoelaces. Life just is too hard. It's an unending treadmill of work or poverty. Add in aging and the health problems of middle age and older, trying to afford treatment for a mental illness so you won't end up jobless... it's just not worth it. Not with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. It's just too hard.
Woof. I recently completed almost three years of trauma therapy and was feeling very proud of that work and all the progress I’ve made. Doing this life pie though… it’s a single spike that represents work. I thought being kind to myself was such a huge achievement, but I’m not really caring for myself, and I have considerable work to do more than just work. Simply being “not cruel” to yourself is not the same as being kind to yourself, caring for yourself. I’d never treat someone I loved like this. Big wake up call.
Yes… this is exactly where I am. I just don’t care… it’s all too much. All of it… too much to live up to. So much regret and failure… this is exactly me… who cares…. Everyone is happier and more successful…. I’m done.
I am an old man. I discover coding can heal dementia. So every day I just download a new set of codes or any free programming book/tutorial, randomly study them a little bit, chat with the chatgpt , and modify the codes for any fun purpose. After several hours, I feel very fulfilled. That is my coding purpose for my retired boring life.
That's amazing! I was liking that too, when I was young. Then I had to get a proper full time job, and over the years it killed my soul and spirit. And in the last couple years everything has become a nightmare on this shitty planet with it's shitty people, who subscribed to,shitty neoliberalism which is one of the root causes. I'm not religious, but even I think the Bible was right: don't make mamon your god or you will suffer greatly. Half my life is in front of me, but I'm already fine with death. That's a plus, right?
100% feel this, after awhile of living in a society that very very blatantly is bias against people with mental health issues, you start to evaluate your life an chase what others have who seems happy. You just sorta stop one by one looking to date, looking to go out with friends an looking for work. And eventually it poisons your hobbies as they all feel very pointless even though they're fulfilling a need it just becomes as you say overwhelming and that anchors you to a spot in life were you're going through the motions, get up, exist, go to sleep. Repeat.
I’m retired but I find my self laying off things that make life livable. I only found out lately all the previous diagnoses of my mental health difficulties was not bipolar, etc but Adult ADHD. It fits me like a glove. I am addressing it but at my age I feel life is still a heavy burden. I’m alone, among many people. I’m losing family members to cancer, etc, have little contact with those still here. Getting older isn’t for the timid.
Hang in there. Late diagnosis adhd is what you said so well-it explains so much, and requires all the self kindness you can muster. You might find Tamara Rosier’s book “Your Brain’s Not Broken” helpful. Wishing you well🙏
I am absolutely quiet quitting life. But it is deliberate. Eastern philosophy tells you to embrace impermanence and die before you die. We live in quite easily diagnosable insanity. I live off grid. I grow most of my own food. I am kicking the dirt from my shoes. Our society is irredeemable and at 61, I deserve a happiness beyond the psychosis of our culture. PS: I did The Artist’s Way. I have been doing morning pages for 2 years. That is why I have dropped out. The creative spirit, was seriously direct with me.
I am from the East (India). Embracing impermanence and dying before you die are two very different things. Dying before you die is cowardice. Don't they say that a coward dies several times before his death? Show me where Eastern philosophy tells you to die before you die.
I got off ALL social media in 2019 and I've noticed that I feel peaceful, content, and only compare myself to my yesterday's self. People, get off all the mind numbing comparison traps and start to live your REAL life.❤
I had to stop and have a moment after I saw the phrase "quiet quitting on life" because it is too accurate of what I have been doing. I study full time and work full time but I do the bare minimum on both and nothing else in life...and I'm always tired. Thank you for this video.
While I totally agree that self-improvement is definitely important, I don't think it's possible to underestimate the impact of what is essentially the decline of modern society, and the fact that, politically and socially speaking, things will be worse every day from here on out. Why spend time to invest in the future when there clearly isn't one.
I totally agree this world makes me so so sad every day and I feel so sorry for my children. So far, I have convinced them to not have children in this evil world boy I miss the good all days before technology too.
@@OutHereOnTheFlatsWhat about all the politics going on right now trying to stop groups of people from even existing? That's a hell of a lot of futures. Or the fact that the earth is getting more unlivable every year? In what way do these have nothing to do with people's future? Zoom in a bit and you hit politics that keeps vast swathes of people trapped living paycheck to paycheck and not able to work toward anything, forcing kids to be parents in their early teens, and so much more. These absolutely have everything to do with people's futures.
I'm interested in knowing if women are also aware society is rapidly going down hill! It's been done under the heading of liberalism but it's anything but liberal.
@@OutHereOnTheFlats oh really??? Tell that to the North Koreans. Nobody is an island. Everything society does, including politics, has an effect on your life whether you want it to or not.
I started quiet, quitting at my job many years ago. It became extremely apparent that those that went above and beyond not only didn't get financially compensated for it, but they were suddenly expected to do it all the time no matter what. It wasn't worth it. And now I do feel myself quiet, quitting, and life in general. Our society is so messed up I've lost hope in humanity. Nothing but bad news and conflict all day every day. I don't spend any time on TikTok or Instagram. Only have a Facebook page because I'm required to for my job because they somehow think that's the only way they can communicate with people is through Facebook. Spend a little time on UA-cam but doing a Solis. Getting away from human beings Seems to be the only way to deal with day-to-day life anymore. The more people I know the less I like.
What you said in the first 6 lines in regards to work, was so true. Not only did your employer expect it, other employèes, who didn't go above and beyond, socialized, caught up on social media, without being reprimanded, and made all kinds if errors (many that i corrected), and kissed ass to bosses, and got promoted. The only nice thing, I retired and still run into some of my clients, who tell me they miss me, and the place is just not the same anymore.
Same. I don't even have a TikTok account. I look at posts on IG maybe once a month if I get an email saying hey, so and so posted, but I spend less than a minute on that site a month. UA-cam though ... Lol
Same no TikTok or IG, Twitter, FB, installed on my phone don't need them, don't want them, UA-cam however I shutter to think how much time I spend on here..lol and it's not looking at shorts either.. it's whole videos.
I have been depressed for over 25 years and I’m only 35. Life just gets more and more stressful. And while I have made a few suicidal attempts, it’s been almost a year since that happened and they never happened before the pandemic. But even before 2020, I kinda had this feeling that I was slowly dying or slowly committing suicide. And the worse part is that it is so slow. I’m finally realized that just like you can get get hell on earth, you can get heaven on earth too. But it’s still not the same as actually being in heaven. One thing that has helped me immensely with my depression is spending time with other people in church. Especially churches that specialize in mental health. But I was really disappointed when church was canceled yesterday and no one told me. But I also went to a different church tonight and it was amazing. Keep trying to find what you need. It’s been a difficult journey, but I am so happy that I have made it this far.
I’m in Austin Texas right now. So much suffering in this town due to homelessness. It’s just heartbreaking how those in power do so little to make life better for others.
Thank you for this. Needed this reminder. A few years ago, I went through a divorce while pastoring a small church. In a blink of an eye, I lost my marriage and church. Took me years to not play the comparison game with others and I felt like giving up because of the pain. I’m in therapy and doing the work I need to do for my joy.
What if we just live for so long, we just get tired of doing anything? What if it's not 'quiet quitting', but just 'tired existing'? Doing the same thing, over and over again, after a few decades of existence, can become monotonous, repeated, and pointless. And when you realize what most in effort that you do in the long run, doesn't matter overall, it gets to be harder to complete a job at full motivation. That's why these companies want 20-year-olds, because 20-year-olds still have a prime motivation to achieve a goal - they're just starting-out - still have dreams and hopes it will happen. People in their late 30's, 40's 50's... are burnt out and tired. By now, you're just settled into the life, that'll never change; opportunities gone... so work becomes, unimportant; just a means to live to keep the balance of a life, that will never change, day... after day... after day.... That's why people are quiet quitting, in a bad economy, high inflation, college loans through the roof, housing crisis, rent rising everywhere, homelessness, and bills, groceries... that no one can afford. Dreams, we are likely not going to obtain... That's why young people are convenient: They aren't at that point yet. Quiet Quitters are usually much older and realize the game is rigged.
GenZ is waking up waaaay earlier in life, I've heard. And boomers don't get it. Because in their hayday, they were actually rewarded greatly for putting in just mediocre effort.
I quit on caring about things that I can't change. Now I feel much more happy. We're told or expected to care about all of these stupid things that we can't change or influence and the only thing we get out of these things is sadness and misery. I basically fell into stoicism without realizing it because it makes so much sense to me.
@@oneseeker2 I don't interpret stoicism as not sharing feelings. I share my feelings all the time--I've made amazing progress in therapy. You may be thinking of stoicism as someone who just represses their feelings and pretends nothing is wrong. The philosophy of stoicism is so much different than that, and definitely not about suppression--it's more about letting go. You can't let a feeling go without feeling it first (important!). At its core, it's about trying keep your thoughts and emotions centered on the things that you can change and influence directly. Think of the Christian serenity prayer and even mindfulness meditation where you accept a thought or feeling exists then let it go on its way.
Therapy did more harm to me than not having it. It is doubtful I will ever return. Therapy is for social people. I am not social. I hate talking to others.
@@indridcold8433it eapexially hurt me since only therapy i had is when i was 14... so they ahd to legally tell my mom what i said... and. Well... yeah complaining about the fact my mother is toxic and bullying me then resulted in me getting more severare punishments. Since then i was scared to twll anyone if smth bothers me
@@indridcold8433 Agreed. For me, it’s too confronting face-to-face. I’d like to find a therapist who will allow me to lay on a couch and process. That way I can pretend I’m not talking directly to them.
I thrive on chaos. I love to fight, work hard, yell, get angry, smile, laugh, hate, love, worry, you name it. My mother is the same way, and she's 90, and has never had cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, athritis, nothing. Same with my 68-year-old sister. Chaos in in our blood, and somehow we're all the better for it. We'll live our tranquil lives, when we're six feet under.
Oh "nice" seeing I'm not alone. Lost 15 years of my life because of bpd father, ensuing parental issues, and parentification, waking up at 30 only to run into a bpd girl that destroyed me emotionnally, followed by 10 years of life presenting me what I desire only to take it away when I start believing I'd get it. Now at more that 40 my life hasn't started yet and I don't even know where to start anymore. At some point, to protect itself from suffering or disillusion, the mind just stops having dreams and desires.
@@kenandurrance3470 Sometimes we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. These people may be "going through the motions" as well..but I can definitely relate.
Bang on!.... THAT is the single MOST NEGATIVE EFFECTING THING ON THE PLANET.... TRILLIONS IN MONEY, has create MISERY LIFE PACELS DELIVERED TO BILLIONS OF PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD.
I’m not quitting on life, but I feel it’s quitting me. My friends never want to get together or travel at all. So I’ve gone places solo and even trips abroad alone, but it’s lonely just being on your own. Why don’t more people want to do things and get out there?? It’s always me periodically making contact, calling, suggesting just to keep the lines of communication open. But it’s not appreciated, nor reciprocated. There are a few things holding me back such as pet care as well. I love animals, but then they need me. I can’t just be spontaneous and jet off to Montana and disappear. I’d love to break free and get out there with human beings!
Maybe your friends are struggling with their own issues. It's not always about you or me. Maybe they have financial problems or health issues you don't know about? 🤔🤔
make new friends while on travel. Or Find a common theme among friends and do that often. It sure feels lonely when it's only us taking the initiative... Feel proud to make initiative regardless
@@mynamenotgiven5717 while that's usually true, if people don't make the effort to be in your life, you have to drop them. Don't guilt OC, or anyone for finding people that appreciate them and reciprocate. It's draining being the initiator, moreso than deliberately isolating yourself
Maybe they don't have the resources to keep up with you. Like money, or free time. My friends could never understand that I just can't "get Saturday off." They wouldn't have HIRED me in the first place, if they weren't open on Saturdays.
There’s so many depressed people in these comments. What is sad is depression will make you miss she said that was so valuable, and that as we tend to look at the world in terms of what we’re lacking. This perspective is created in us because a capitalistic society needs us to lack things. If we lack something, then they can sell it to us. So we grow up from a very early age to not be thankful but to always be looking outward to figure out what it is that we need to add to our lives.
Katie, I think your words are very wise! Yes, I’m 65 and feel like why bother at this point. In the past I always served in children’s ministry and really miss it a lot. But we moved three years ago and just can’t find a community we want to worship with here. It’s difficult living in a very over populated city. I feel safer at home. Rarely go anywhere. PS - your blouse is beautiful
People don’t know how good they have it. I have no real home, No friends and am iLL. You said it the best! Count your blessings!!! You never know how good you have it until it’s gone! You never think it could happen to you. Be thankful people
Im always broke. I can't get ahead. When I do something happens that is so costly it takes everything from me. Im stuck. I started a business but it's not going well. I feel cursed. So I've been considering just letting go of all the extra efforts i put in. I've been chasing happiness like you talk about in the video. Im ready to throw in the towel and just BE.
This is very validating. I appreciate your taking the time to make this video. I spend most of my day trying to figure out how to heal my brain so I can function better more consistently and I really feel like the resources you provided here will help. I plan to try to print myself out some charts to see on a regular basis so I can be prompted to check in from time to time . Having a checklist to see where I might be deficit before paralysis sets in will give me some much needed self--sufficiency until I can obtain a therapist.
I Quiet Quit Life in 2011. A promise to my Mother kept me from fully quitting. Up to that point, I had nearly reached Self-Actualization, but outside influences prevented it. In 2011, I crashed and never recovered. The rest of those 'motivations' dwindled away to nothing, or near nothing. Now I have no way forward (stuck), and after my mother died I'm just waiting for Life to finally quit me.
Great message Kati , been there done that . Mostly with me I have to stop thinking about the enormity of situations , work , etc otherwise I'm ready to crawl back into bed . You have to play it one moment at a time ,stop worrying what others think they don't have your life or your circumstances either.
I've been working on this kind of thing for a while because it was really impacting how I felt and acted. My advice to my past self would be something like "keep listening to what actually worked for others" because we are all unhappy sometimes, but not all of us are convinced we'll be permanently unhappy, or even unhappy for the rest of the day. It helps long-term to work on those six areas, but in the short term, it can help to just laugh at something and feel our mood change to something more hopeful
This video made me think of a quote I read years ago by Eric Hoffer when I was into reading most of his books; "The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."
i just want to be prescribed adderall already. i want to know what it's like to not have brain fog, and to be able to think of words and actually say them, and be able to receive what is being said to me, instead of floating around in space.
Everyone's experience with adderall is different, but as someone who recently got diagnosed with ADHD and recently started taking adderall, it's not as life changing as I had hoped. It definitely does help, but I find the differences to be not that significant. But again, this is just my personal experience.
@@ambersexton517 perhaps have a chat with your psych about combining a non stimulant med with your Adderall, and stay on a low dose of both. Also remember to take tolerance breaks! ☺️
Before paralysis sets in.. o man I know that feeling. Balancing my needs is so much easier than trying to get motivated after I’m in the hole but sometimes I do let myself go and I always suffer the consequences. My life always feels like work to me that’s not living. Sometimes I live in the moment but most of the time I’m not, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I know where I am I have retired but still work and have depression and anxiety, which I am on meds for. I also still work by caring for my mother-in-law who is very difficult to deal with and like to aggravate me to no end. There are also monetary issues that even when bankruptcy is paid off I will be in the same situation due to medical bills. I have no motivation at all and just want to walk away and be left alone, but I am always being told I need to do this or that around the house and seem to never get anywhere with it!!! I am just sick and tired!!!!
This video's content *feels* like it should be played at the very very very beginning of your life, and not supposed to be watched for the first time when you're already decades old and engrossed in a world that simply does not care about your needs. I'm sorry for that being critical, but honestly I and probably anyone else with enough cognitive function to have a device that plays videos would have better benefitted from a video outlining the perspective of how to initiate these changes with actual context. It feels a little idealistic and out of touch to watch this for me. Like many people can barely even afford dinner for their families, dude. Where's the content for them? Do their mental health statuses not deserve evaluation becuase they simply can't afford time in terms of time or money? People are not just quiet quitting, they are SCRAPING by. Don't leave pieces of information like that untouched in this conversation. That stuff is JUST as much connected to, a part of, and relevant as any self-helpy propositions to change your life.
because therapists is a part of this system, they can't speak unpleasant truth, they will never say what is actually important and who is to blame for all of it and how to change it (problem not in people but the system, but therapists on their way to brainwash these victims alongside with society and government that something is wrong with them and not all those people and system), their job is not to help people but change them to the convenient (for the system) way of thinking
9:43 The tid bit on non-negotiables is touching and all, but I think this idea that you can set something as a nonnegotiable for YOU, doesn't necessarily mean the universe and all who inhabit and share space with you also adhere to your personal rules. People have families and children and a PLETHORA of other socially-tied obligations that can't really wait for you to have your brunch with the girlies, or your 2-hour daily gym routine. I think allowing yourself to accept and embrace that the world is NOT designed to give all that you need and even want, will help you to have a more comprehensive perspective of your place in this universe, and what you can actually work on controlling from there. Idk, just some unsolicited food for thought as someone who's had this conversation with mental health professionals for years now and grows slightly lowkey exhausted from this conversation's cyclical nature in the zeitgeist of mental health and wellness.
Also, you can *try* to make the argument that setting nonnegotiables in your life as the first step is then followed by communicating with everyone in your life about said nonnegotiables, but I honestly beg you: think of one, just ONE person, in your personal life who isn't going to be understanding enough about your needs. Simply *deciding* to have that conversation did not change anything about that person's predisposition. You cannot control other people's responses or willingness to understand. Now, proceed to imagine that one person is your spouse or partner, who you share many things in life with, or a parent, who governs many aspects of your life for the first portion of it, or a overly expectant boss who is too dependent on your work ethic to get things done. The proposition about nonnegotiables FAILS to account for the pragmatic application into one's personal life, because we cannot seemingly let ourselves accept how much a part of the universe we are, just as much as anyone or anything else. We ALL feel obligated to keep pushing, even when we engage in quiet quitting behaviors. Where is the UA-cam videos talking about the actual hard parts and difficult feelings associated with this conversation?
My issue with her comment on non-negotiables is that people often place that bar too high. Is it "really important" that you go to the gym? Or is it "non-negotiable"? So, if a family member was hit by a car, would you say you need to go to the gym instead of helping them, because you classed it as "non-negotiable"? I struggle to believe that anything beyond the bottom layer of Maslow's Hierarchy can be non-negotiable. For me, breathing is a non-negotiable. If you insist on me giving it up, I'm going to die in just a few minutes. Even eating is negotiable. I can put off a meal (or several) if something more important comes along.
This is what I was trying to explain to my parents. I am letting the days wash over me like waves. Thankfully I am self aware and I’m fighting against the depression. I have been trying to get through the Artists Way for the last 10 years. Thank you for sharing this video!
The timing of my seeing this video was ironically fortuitous. I am 74 and hanging on daily by my fingernails. The complexity of my life is ASTOUNDING and I feel drained and borderline hopeless. Some days I just want to "resign".....quit.....call it a day. Yet others (too many) need what I can do for them, help them with, make good on vows made in ignorance over half a century ago as a boy. I want my last years to be happy-er.....not unrealistically euphoric or perfect. I enjoy being alone still....quiet still....reflective and thoughtful. I wrestle with the question of the ages : "What was it all about"?? My life novel needs an ending, hopefully not a "Hitchcock" style, though.....
This is so much me, I lost my mother last year, and the last time I saw her I thought to myself, I have no further use for this life, that has been consistant ever since, I am intersted in nothing nor want to do anything, I am like driftwood floating downstream on a river.
For me it's "Acceptance", not perfection. Success as a retiree is; " I made it" now, I can start relaxing more & enjoying life & it's simple pleasures. I accept life isn't perfect and I'm here to live. I'm not here to compete, or live in luxury. I accept all things as they are now & I don't want to push for more. What a relief and calm feeling that brings. Live life, with or without the "extras".
This is my first-time hearing of the double QQ, unfortunately the double QQ is my life. My mother was abused, while I was growing in her womb. My first acknowledgement of the violence begins at age 4 - remanning relentless, until I ran away at age 18. Yes, unfortunately these six misconceptions have plagued me and everyone else around me, as I heard loudly to just get over yourself. At age 61, I finally know why I never mounted to anything because trauma greeted me at age 4 with violent episodes through my entire upbringing. I am still missing life, as I have become uncomfortably numb.
Thank you for this, Kati! Love the idea of a scheduled check-in to help me notice sooner when the balance in my life is off. I was programmed NOT to pursue my interests by a narcissist mother and recurring depression sometimes sneaks up on me, so reminders like The More You Do the Better You Feel & Success is a Vitamin help me. Now adding Count your Blessings not your Shortcomings. : - ) Thank you ❤
This is fascinating information. I already have been working on finding gratitude and positivity in my every-day life, but having it laid out like this just really helps to drive it home.
Hey guys I found getting myself a rescue furry friend really helped filling the void in my heart. If u earn well and can afford to care for another living being then please give a shot at giving a chance to a rescue animal they are just like us but have no option of voicing out. If u can’t afford don’t force yourself in helping any rescue cause you will only build unwanted pressure.
When l was taught Maslow's needs, it was suggested if you aren't able to satisfy the first need you can't go on to climb to met the second need. In that way it was said thats why people in poverty can't go on to self actualization. They were too busy trying to find enough food to feed their families/themselves.
I watched an interview years ago on a show about "what is happiness" or some such. It was of a man who worked all day as a rickshaw driver and who's home was a series of cardboard boxes and tarps which he shared with his family. His take was that it was wonderful to have such a nice place with shade and cool breezes to rest with his family.
I've always done more than I should have, and I just stopped doing it because it's running me ragged. Everyone expects me to do my part and go above and beyond, but they can't do their part. I stopped doing it. I'm tired of busting my 🍑 to get nowhere and Everyone else has moved forward or moved to someplace better. I got tired of that bullshit.
Thanks for your work, Kati. Your presentations are informative and clear. In this video, I was struck by the fact: that advertising and social media provoke unhappiness and longing in people. More than once, I've heard people of my mother's generation (born during the 1920s) talking about the joy they experienced during their childhoods, in spite of the dire poverty that was experienced by so many during the Great Depression. These folks would express the same phrase: "We didn't know any better so we were happy".
I've not watched your video yet and I'm not currently in the workforce but my immediate answer is yes, I probably am. My mom passed away suddenly 2 months ago and I find I have no motivation, want to sleep all the time and am eating too many sweets. I just feel pretty blah.
January 2024 ~ Hi Kati: I just this morning found your UA-cam channel; and, it's exactly what I needed. Interestingly, I took "The Artist's Way" course by Julia Cameron back in the early 1990s - I enjoyed it so much at the time. Makes me think I need to repurchase the book or check it out from my local library. 🥰
I found a balance with my life about 1yr ago. I dropped my work to 1/2 time, started traveling, meditating, exercising. Although this new life feels balanced, it is a lot of fun work to keep things fresh. I took a pottery class, stretch my hamstrings every other day as I’ve never been flexible. I do drink a lot more alcohol with all this time. I do contemplate my life a lot more. I started reaching out to friends I hadn’t seen in years. How to find balance when more time is there is fun work. Lots of slippery slopes. Beware.
Recently, I asked me therapist if I was acting like I had already given up on life. She said if i was asking that question, then i already knew the answer. So this video is quite relevant. However, the only thing that brings me joy in life I have some weird mental block that prevents me from doing it. I write it down on my calendar, but when I get to it, my brain says no and that's that. I don't know how to overcome this aversion to the one thing that might make me happy
That to me sounds like some kind of avoidance thing going on. I am probably wrong but I do understand what you are saying as I probably do that myself at times. Maybe if you could identify what the mental block is or what is causing it?
I have spent my life working hard on infrastructure having degrees and trades. I have also been the go to guy for family and friends problems as mr fix it. I have served my country in the military also. I have been and still continue to be a rescue volunteer. I have been a giver, not a taker. In 2020, I was a victim in an accident. Almost my whole left side of my body broken. The hospital system let me down for so long which is another story but no one I knew or are related to which I have helped so much ver the years came to assist. One working arm and leg left me struggling for survival for eight months while I got repaired. I realised my one way street of giving a crap got me no where the one time I needed help. I have been shutting myself off quietly ever since. I don’t need to work but I do because it supports hobbies I enjoy. Outside of work, I still do the rescue work but that’s it, no help for anyone else anymore. If the seas actually rise like they did for Noah, I am ready and I won’t be taking anyone else to safety with me. Let the ice melt.
This is more than a self issue. Our society has become insufferable. Inflation, politics, inequality, racism, and the list goes on. Its become hard to live day to day. Most of this is brought on by a failing government system. As people, we need more than personal healing, but societal healing. And the government needs a complete overhall or we will continue to hurt.
Oh, I have been there from a long time now. Starting more and more to enjoy the little things in life, most would consider time wasting. Playing games, watching movies, reading sci-fi books. The things I actually enjoy. Not everyone is cut out to save the world. For some of us little people, the little things matter most. Find the things that brings you joy. That's pretty much it.
I don't know about Quit quitting but I have definitely lost my love for this life and I find it difficult to find the motivation to do anymore than I have to most of the time.
You are so wonderful, Katie. You are so real, vulnerable and brave and I am so inspired & comforted by your authenticity & courage to share as honestly as you do. You are such a gift to so many people. Sending you love and peace 🙏🏼💕🤟🏼
Narcissism is super strong in society - so no one is willing to compromise. Until something big enters the scene and disrupts societal dynamics, things are only gonna get worse. This is the early 21st century experience.
Beautiful stuff! I thought it was 'just me', feeling burnt out, with little direction, drive, etc., etc., but this seems to be (sadly) a professionally-recognised modern condition/phenomenon. I think the main message here is 'don't beat yourself up', in such a messed up world that doesn't even care. Glad I came across your enlightening channel, thank you!
What if you are not recognized by the things you do. And every step you want to take for your development is a counter attack. Please tell me that isn't discouraged.
So the big question is: how do I stop chasing happiness and stop thinking “I’ll be happy someday” or “I’ll be happy when I have a wife and house of my own”
The unwanted but most real answer is graditute and focusing on actions instead of results, living in the present. I think Dr K on Healthygamergg has given a great video about focus on action instead of result
74 year old introvert. I mostly just have the energy to survive these days. Once I get the "must do" done....cleaning, shopping, laundry, meals, etc. ....I am drained. Fun is something I use to do....can hardly define it anymore. My relationship with Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is what gives me joy! Nature gives me joy. Painting, Writing, Photography give me joy. I embrace minimalism and slow living.
I've never heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs before, but have somehow been architecting my life around this already. In the past year, I have built a strong foundation in the esteem layer. Many reflections throughout the last year I have been asking myself what I am missing. I acknowledge all of these amazing accomplishments and recognize my gratitude in all of the security in these othere layers of my self. The problem with the final self actualization level is that in todays world it is difficult, almost impossible, to understand what your own potential is. To understand that 100% is not sustainable forever and that your best is not your best if it requires sacrifice. Quiet quitting is this balance. People need to realize that showing up and doing the work is the job. Your best might require you to just show up to somethings like work.
I found "quiet quitting" hilarious because I have always done it that way. I have always found very little to be worth that extra bit of my energy. But I have never had a desire to be like others or have or do all the things. I even intentionally do NOT buy things that are advertised and never name brand. I am so thankful I was raised to value myself and my joy more then all the things.
I wasn't raised that well but always being on low wages made me realise we should live beneath our means and be satisfied with less. In fact I view over spending on luxuries as just abysmal greed and selfishness.
I don't know about quiet quitting, but I've stopped running myself into the ground trying to do things that ultimately don't matter.
Ok, but that kind of raises a question: what DOES matter in the long run? I find it hard to find any. I mean if you give anything a long enough time, it won't matter.
i mean yeah I kind of agree. Which means nothing is worth sacrificing my or my children's physical or mental health for...not meaning I don't do anything. Just...I stop when I'm running out of physical or mental energy.
I think running yourself into the ground for things YOU think matter is okay, but it's just as important to recognize WHY they matter to you, and only put in as much effort as (a) how much they matter, and (b) how feasible they are. It's also perfectly fine to have something that's very important to you now but is not so important later, and then adjust your speed, tempo, and effort accordingly. As we live, our priorities evolve and change; you're not a computer.
I quit 90% of just about everything, but the very basics. I have no television service, but only an antenna. No phone service, no cellular service, go nowhere but work and back in my work vehicle. I stay in the house otherwise. I put my ugly rosd car into storage in my garage with engine storage foam and took the battery out, drained fuel. I only use the work vehicle. I quit buying things, save food, and do not listen to the radio anymore. I barely watch the teli. Life is just so meaningless.
My sentiments exactly. There are only a few key things that really matter. All the rest is mostly frustrating busy-work. I'm 63, and "been around the block".... It's amazing what you discover about things when you can look back . Most things that we let enslave us really do not matter in the long run.
I haven't quite quit. I totally gave up. I wake up, take a shower, walk 10 feet to my desk, work 8 hours, sit on my porch, come back in, watch TV, maybe read, go to bed, Repeat. I may be dead and I don't know it.
You ok there, James?
we live the same life.
That is why I will not work from home. I do not know your situation but for me going to the office and meeting collegues is really important. Als I started jogging in the morning. Just 20 to 30 minutes. It is not always fun but I do feel better afterwards.. Still everyday is little struggle because I never found my dream job.
That kind of isolation is not healthy, like some answers below, contact with others is necessary. I hope you find a way to cope.
I wanna quit living.
I'm have been quiet quitting life for some time: fading out friends; quitting hobbies, facebook, whatsapp; getting rid of stuff saved from childhood and long gone parents; dropping dreams and ambitions and facing facts: I'm not going to be who I dreamed to become though not for lack of trying I think. Instead, I've realized I even wasn't who I thought to be.
I've started to, well, not quite enjoy but, to get again accustomed to my job. Bit like 20 year old shoes that you almost threw away for a new flashier pair that never really fit properly.
Years ago, 2 weeks of Lamictal triggered realistic and vivid dreams for me. I finally started to enjoy them and sleep. Sleeping is now preferable to being awake.
Not going above and beyond is not quitting or "quiet quitting." It's doing what you are responsible for and nothing more because employers aren't compensating people for "going above and beyond." We really have to stop using the term "quiet quitting" to describe people who are still doing their job.
"Not going above and beyond". Doing our job with no enthusiam for the work itself, apart from the remuneration or compensation that we receive. That sounds like a sad life. Does the ledger of life always have to be so carefully balanced? Or should we always be striving toward getting a little more, or even a lot more remuneration, than the amount of effort that we put in? In other words, should we always be in debt to our employer, who has, in that sense, paid us more than our contribution is worth.
While I am 'here' {in the comments under Kati's video}, and enjoy the insights that Kati offers, I do have issues that I face in my life, maybe it is because I always like to give a "baker's dozen", that little bit more, so the ledger is in my favour; I am owed a little more than I have received for my effort.
However, I do not think that there is really a connection between the negative issues in my life and my desire to give a little more.
What is a bakers dozen and why?
noun. a group of 13; a dozen plus one: from the former practice among bakers and other tradespeople of giving 13 items to the dozen as a safeguard against penalties for short weights and measures. The penalties in the 16th century were severe, particularly for staple goods such as bread. I would like to think that, these days, there are more altruistic reasons for giving the "baker's dozen".
Exactly. Employers are angry employees refused to be used for their profits these days. Pay more, get more.
Think you guys are missing one key point and I won't go in to that as its stated in the video which apparently you never watched lol
@@albeatuberr I watched the whole video before commenting, so what is your "key point"?
It's not my key point is it lol it's in the video don't stew for too long
Life is just one long Groundhog Day....no interests, no fun, no joy/happiness...just work, bills, and errands
Ugh. This for sure.
Totally agree
I feel the same
@@Lonelymann36 Same..and add that to having no friends or family and having to spend my birthday's, Holiday's, etc alone. At least you have a car to run errands. I don't have a car at this time as I can't afford one on SSDI. I have to take a shuttle or Uber (Ubers can be expensive).
@@Lonelymann36 the highlight of my week is when I say, “It’s trash day again”…it’s pathetic
Most people quiet quit because their hard work is rewarded with more hard work instead of more pay. I’ve had plenty of jobs where I worked my butt off and was always the one my boss counted on to step up when needed. I never got raises or promotions even though I worked so hard. So I stopped and asked myself, “why am I working so hard when it gets me nowhere? Why am I working so hard to make my boss rich when my paychecks aren’t getting any bigger?”
Yup- hard work is rewarded with...more hard work, no expression of appreciation and no compensation.
Why do I feel like this comment describes my daily life (not even work related, just life in general)
Yeah 24 years in the same job and I give what I can but nothing more. I don't go to work on my days off when they try to call me in. I even refuse to be a supervisor because it's just more work but no raise. I make just as much as what I made 24 years ago too. So, right now I'm taking courses online to learn a skill, and change my own life. It's time to shed the past, and move forward.
Extreme greed and treating us all like disposable robots is unethical. Look for companies such as employee-owned, cooperatives, and profit-sharing programs. We need to reach critical mass and make corporations a thing of the past.
This comment should be pinned.
This is me. I've lost all my motivation. I may be breathing but I'm not living, I've never had that zest for life.🥺
Praying 🙏 for you sweetheart! I here you and feel you! You are WORTH IT. ❤
You deserve to be happy...it is hard to believe sometimes but do something that used to make you happy. Branch out and make more/ better friends who care.
I had to go back in my mind the time that I was most happy. I went back to when I was 17 and remembered what made me happy and started doing it.
Friend, that's a terrible place to be. I hope you can find your way out. The hardest step is the first.
@@christineleatherwood7987making “friends who care” Is actually the hardest thing to do! I have not been fortunate enough to find anyone who cares. They usually only care about themselves and their image/status, etc. That is what gets me so depressed in the first place. It is a true blessing to have genuine friendships.
Uh .... sure. There are false needs. Like shopping for no reason. And there are REAL needs. The wealth inequality gap is larger & larger every year. How many folks have 4 good tires, an oil change, and enough money for gas, all at the same time? A lot of us are white-knuckling it through the day, have worked our asses off, and we're still broke. Minimum wage no longer offers ANYONE in the USA enough to rent a small, clean 1-bedroom apartment within reasonable travel distance to that job. We're dying out here. And we feel despair. We've been talking about recycling & climate change for 40 years, and hardly anything has changed. We all watched living, breathing citizens of the USA die on video, multiple times. We rally, petition, vote, and protest. Our needs are not met. The future is bleak. Most of us are struggling with the skyrocketing grocery prices. It's scary.
It's all by Design. To break the middle class. The last three years have been nothing but psychological Warfare, and fear-mongering to Cripple us
We all need to start a community to help us survive. There has to be a way.
I’m scared too, and overwhelmed with everything that life is throwing at me. So much is expected of each of us, and the older I get (65) the harder it is to get physical things done. And that works on my mental state! It can be a terrible vicious circle for me.
@@dancelep Do not bother with college. That is the number one worse thing one can do today. It starts your life in deep dept and job options are often very low paying anyway. College is a scam to separate people from money and throw the into debt. I make far more than most college graduates without the debt. I was mocked for never going to college. The snowflake software programmer finally asked, "What do you make a year?" When he found out I make triple what he makes, he said,"it is not about money. It is how life perceives you." Well, I hope that pays his bills. College was the way in the 1980s and maybe the early 1990s. It is a joke today.
'Quiet Quitting' is a shaming tactic - 'Working Your Wage' is more apt.
Maslow's foundations are intrinsically tied to socioeconomic status.
With hugely increased cost-of-living, cost of education, interests rates etc, there is little opportunity to try new things or have new experiences. You can't realize or actualize your dreams if you spend your days exhausting yourself working your main job + side gig just to pay rent and keep your belly full.
"Will I ever own a home? Have housing security?"
"Will I ever have children? Raise them happy, healthy, well-adjusted?"
"Will I ever progress? Will there be supports and reward at the end?"
People are reevaluating what brings them happiness and fulfillment in a get-rich-or-die, unsafe, unstable, fool's paradise-y environment. 'Quiet Quitting on life' is part of that process.
While this video does offer 'steps in the right direction' concerning Mental Health, it doesn't acknowledge the capital-labour conflict at the root of it all.
this
True. These days most people are just struggling to survive & get their families and/or themselves through each day.
💯💯💯
I could hug you lol thank you for this comment!
Well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I quit life long ago. I am just going through the motions until the end. I did not ask to be born. It was forced on me. I do not appreciate something I did not want. For some, life may be some sort of a gift. For more of us, it is a sentence.
Can totally relate to this. It isn't like we were asked hey this is what life is and that will also include pain and then asked, would you like in or do you opt out. This might be a little bit far but I sometimes think that some parents have children just to give their own life meaning and for something to focus on, which is kinda selfish when you think about it.
You are correct.
@@bathsheba9581 I hope your sentence passes gently, fellow inmate. Rest assured, we will return to being non-existent again! Then our consciousness will return to nothing. I have served about 3/5ths of my sentence.
I want to pin your comment on every billboard. AMEN! Man has ruined life worth living!
I'm starting to try to pull self up and peep over the edge at a happier life, but there's a lot of fog on the battle ground. Somedays the fog is so thick I can not see a point to my life. Those are the days I stay hunkered down for hours playing little games on my tablet or feeling guilty for buying more craft supplies that I don't use. I do wonder, "What's the point?." I'm in my mid 70s and I'm tired of dealing with life. Yet, I keep trying.
I am increasingly at odds with how this world works. Just the absolute selfishness in how it is run. The suffering that those in power inflict is so incredibly wearing on the psyche. No wonder people are quiet quitting.
I just go through the motions of life now. I do what I am supposed to do but absolutely no more. I am not going to be taken advantage of again, work-wise, socially, emotionally, spiritually. If this means I have no friends, so be it. More importantly, I will have no enemies no opportunists in my life.
extreme greed is unethical. Many companies need to stop treating people like disposable robots. All of us can look for work at different companies such as cooperatives, employee-owned companies, and profit-sharing programs.
@@indridcold8433It is comforting in a strange way knowing many individuals are experiencing what I am going through.
Yes. No national pride or connection.
@@indridcold8433 yes,me too
Tbh, I’m at a point where if I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’ll be fine with that.
Life is just a dull gray for me.
It’s only a matter of time.
I just don’t see the point of it all.
I' am right there with you. I feel so unloved by God and man. The last 5 years of my life has been tragic.
YES! This is exactly how I feel. I won’t unalive myself, but if it’s my time to go, I’m fine. Over the last few years, the light- the magic- in the world has gone.
Same
Me too.
I was put here because God likes torturing certain people. He's a dirtbag.
I am just Groundhog Daying it. Same day over and over again. Nothing lost, nothing gained.
I've been "quiet quitting" on life since I was like 9 because I'm stuck in a situation where I have basically no control over what happens to me and putting in effort is pretty much pointless. I'm 22 now and my entire life is just doing the bare minimum to stay alive
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
Well I hope you get some good luck
Much love. You will get there
We'll never have control but we can get to a point where we're managing the waves and can finally give up on trying to control it.
But sometimes the waves are too big and it isnt our fault
Quiet quitting is a disgusting term when used to describe employees doing the bare minimum when paid the bare minimum. You get what you pay. However, it kinda hurt when u feel like doing it in your personal life.
I feel you. Not even a minute in the video and I'm like that's me with everything. Having ADHD with mild OCD and being on the spectrum, mad it kinda hard to do what was expected of me, especially since I was untreated until I hit 23... I'm now in the process of stopping it, but it takes a lot of effort. For me it's a job I enjoy and a sport I enjoy. I ride my bike for about 50 minutes total for commute. My biggest problem at work was always being late. My current employer doesn't care so much about it, as long as the job gets done, so I'm happy with it.
I'm sure that for you it will be something different. But you will make it eventually. We are both still young. Small increments, will hopefully amount to a lot more in the future!
My work this morning had the audacity to ask about incentives they can offer us to meet our goals. This is after they decided to not give anyone a cost of living raise this year 🙄 I’m a full time WFH with two kids, a spouse who recently had knee surgery and needs to be cared for and we just moved so setting up an entire home and getting it livable with four children total. To say I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed lately is an understatement. My mental health hasn’t suffered yet but I’m sure it’s coming. We’re all trying to keep our heads above water, but at least I know I’m not the only one stretched to my max.
My advice to you is to work on your expenditure in coming months. Sometimes we'll not be able to manage things to stay the same. Also get emotional support through your spouse, they'll be happy to feel needed and you'll get through the hardships.
Stay strong sister.
AKA "how can we get more work out of you without paying you for it?" I'm sorry.
The whole West is cooked, an imminent social unrest is about to erupt if things remains this way.
I told my therapist at 58 years old I’m not suicidal or anything like that but I kinda look forward to being dead.. she told me she hears this from an overwhelming number of people these days.. especially those over 50..
@@jameswalker7880 I did the same thing, this was in 2018. I wasn't suicidal..but I said something to my Psychiatrist like I could be dead and no one would know as I have no friends or family left, I try, I try, and try to make friendships, but everyone is in cliques, or in their own world, or on their phones, etc. I like myself which is what I told her. I feel I have a lot to offer. You know what she did? Called the police who escorted me out of the mental health facility and drove me to Fort Hamilton Hospital where a three day hold was put on me. There, I spoke to a Psychiatrist and she said she was having a delightful conversation with me, saw no suicidal tendencies, and wondered why my own Psychiatrist put me there. The whole three days there, they just stuck us in groups to draw, colour like we were little kids. No talk therapy or nothing. The whole thing was silly. I feel the mental health situation in this country is failing us.
yes .. what's the point ? .. why bother ? ...
Those who call upon the Lord will be saved. Having Jesus in your life will bring life and purpose into your life. I know, Ive lived it. Back in 1974 I had depression and decided to end it all, but I messed up and so I'm still here. Two weeks later I watched a TV movie which was about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and that He came to give us life. Well I thought that this sounded too good to be true, but it would be nice to feel like a different person. I repented and asked Jesus into my life and in a flash, I felt different and I knew that I was forgiven and connected to the Lord. Jesus saves, and He will save you from a life of pointlessness. God loves each one of us and He has a plan for each one of us. We are not just a blob of useless pond scum as evolutionists tell us, we are loved and have a purpose.
Yep. When most of your life is work but no love, it doesn't seem like much to keep you here.
That's me 😢
People are tired of working there life away and getting nowhere for it but seeing the big corporations continue to beat higher and higher profit margines. To be successful today is much harder than it has ever been. There are more hurdles and hoops to jump through just to achieve the same levels of things as people did 40 years ago and there is a disproportionate amount of what we get back out of our work. Somethings got to give, people are fed up.
Yes.
Yep. I've been quiet quitting for a long, long time. It doesn't matter how hard I work, I don't get what I need. I don't care what others have. I spend NO TIME on insta or tik tok.
I make purchases to keep shoes on my feet and food in my home. Nothing is good or rewarding, it's all survival and trying to avoid pain.
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
That’s sadly life in this capitalist hellscape… :(
@@grindsaur modern hellscape
I understand bc I don’t buy anything at all except bare necessities. I still work extremely hard at work bc I never want to lose my job. My job is the only thing I have in my life
At 66, I have quit quietly on life. I have hundreds of books, DVDs and CDs. People have disappointed me greatly and I have little patience for most. I find more satisfaction in a good movie or book than with chatting with a person. When I was 60, I looked 45 but in the last 3 yrs, my looks faded fast as if time caught with me and beat the crap out of me. I was devastated as people always made a big deal of my looks and I felt as if I lost my superpower so I became a bit of a recluse.
the world inside your mind is always better than the one without...
You feel entitled to a superpower. I wish I just wasn’t allergic to things literally 97 times a day. Things that are unnecessary and people do for fun. And won’t stop when I ask them to because it’s literally hurting me. Wish I could level up to wishing I wasn’t ugly.
At school as a child l was the top every year not only of the class but the school. I excelled in every subject.. In my teens l was poisoned with mercury and the birth defect of spinabifida kicked in destroying my powers of concentration at a time when l needed them especially. I ended up losing much of my motivation and ended up class dunce. I never recovered nor got used to being a mediocrity after being such a high flyer. I'm old now and it's all been a waste of time.
Having dvd and cds physicaly is nice.
A good way to pass time.
Thanks ,Jon
"Comparison is the theif of joy."
Its a 2 way street.
I've quiet quit life because in this society, expressing any real desire to actively quit life will land you locked up without your shoelaces. Life just is too hard. It's an unending treadmill of work or poverty. Add in aging and the health problems of middle age and older, trying to afford treatment for a mental illness so you won't end up jobless... it's just not worth it. Not with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. It's just too hard.
@@krobbins5302 agree
((hug))
Woof. I recently completed almost three years of trauma therapy and was feeling very proud of that work and all the progress I’ve made. Doing this life pie though… it’s a single spike that represents work.
I thought being kind to myself was such a huge achievement, but I’m not really caring for myself, and I have considerable work to do more than just work.
Simply being “not cruel” to yourself is not the same as being kind to yourself, caring for yourself. I’d never treat someone I loved like this. Big wake up call.
Yes… this is exactly where I am. I just don’t care… it’s all too much. All of it… too much to live up to. So much regret and failure… this is exactly me… who cares…. Everyone is happier and more successful…. I’m done.
I am an old man. I discover coding can heal dementia. So every day I just download a new set of codes or any free programming book/tutorial, randomly study them a little bit, chat with the chatgpt , and modify the codes for any fun purpose. After several hours, I feel very fulfilled. That is my coding purpose for my retired boring life.
❤😂
That's amazing!
I was liking that too, when I was young.
Then I had to get a proper full time job, and over the years it killed my soul and spirit. And in the last couple years everything has become a nightmare on this shitty planet with it's shitty people, who subscribed to,shitty neoliberalism which is one of the root causes. I'm not religious, but even I think the Bible was right: don't make mamon your god or you will suffer greatly.
Half my life is in front of me, but I'm already fine with death. That's a plus, right?
I don't want to have anything, just the basics.... Security and being loved and protected. As a woman, born to the world.
100% feel this, after awhile of living in a society that very very blatantly is bias against people with mental health issues, you start to evaluate your life an chase what others have who seems happy. You just sorta stop one by one looking to date, looking to go out with friends an looking for work.
And eventually it poisons your hobbies as they all feel very pointless even though they're fulfilling a need it just becomes as you say overwhelming and that anchors you to a spot in life were you're going through the motions, get up, exist, go to sleep. Repeat.
You have described my life exactly.
This. I hope we can create change bc we don't deserve this🤍
Hope things improve for you soon @@jntj3007
same, though in the UK things are only getting worse tbh. @@brookels66
To anyone feeling like this I hope things get better for you
❤️🩹
I'm quietly quitting. From here on out I do what I feel makes me happy. Life is too short.❤️ Wish me luck 🍀
Well this has made me feel better, I’m not the only one who feels like I’m existing rather than living. So thank you all for sharing, we’re not alone.
Someone told me once, you know what hard work gets you?...more hard work. That is so true.
I’m retired but I find my self laying off things that make life livable. I only found out lately all the previous diagnoses of my mental health difficulties was not bipolar, etc but Adult ADHD. It fits me like a glove. I am addressing it but at my age I feel life is still a heavy burden. I’m alone, among many people. I’m losing family members to cancer, etc, have little contact with those still here. Getting older isn’t for the timid.
old age is a curse....unless you're rich...
Money can’t buy good health. I mean things that are incurable.
Hang in there. Late diagnosis adhd is what you said so well-it explains so much, and requires all the self kindness you can muster. You might find Tamara Rosier’s book “Your Brain’s Not Broken” helpful. Wishing you well🙏
I am trying to navigate through this new dimension called loneliness.
I quit and it landed me into Assisted living.
I am absolutely quiet quitting life. But it is deliberate. Eastern philosophy tells you to embrace impermanence and die before you die. We live in quite easily diagnosable insanity. I live off grid. I grow most of my own food. I am kicking the dirt from my shoes. Our society is irredeemable and at 61, I deserve a happiness beyond the psychosis of our culture.
PS: I did The Artist’s Way. I have been doing morning pages for 2 years. That is why I have dropped out. The creative spirit, was seriously direct with me.
you're living off grid and grow most of your food. I would say you are doing things right.
I am from the East (India). Embracing impermanence and dying before you die are two very different things. Dying before you die is cowardice. Don't they say that a coward dies several times before his death? Show me where Eastern philosophy tells you to die before you die.
👍 I'm quietly quitting this screwed up social experiment called 'America'. I'm 68 years of age and am tired of the BS.
I got off ALL social media in 2019 and I've noticed that I feel peaceful, content, and only compare myself to my yesterday's self. People, get off all the mind numbing comparison traps and start to live your REAL life.❤
Isn't UA-cam social media though
UA-cam is social media. If you actually gave up all social media you wouldn't be on here telling us about it.
Same. I got off Facebook in 2016. I feel much more at peace.
@@samantha8178not really..
I had to stop and have a moment after I saw the phrase "quiet quitting on life" because it is too accurate of what I have been doing. I study full time and work full time but I do the bare minimum on both and nothing else in life...and I'm always tired. Thank you for this video.
I am so unmotivated, that it was a struggle just to watch this video.
Why did I laugh so hard at this but completely agree 100%.
While I totally agree that self-improvement is definitely important, I don't think it's possible to underestimate the impact of what is essentially the decline of modern society, and the fact that, politically and socially speaking, things will be worse every day from here on out. Why spend time to invest in the future when there clearly isn't one.
Politics and Society have nothing to do with your future. That is all theatre. YOU/WE create our future.
I totally agree this world makes me so so sad every day and I feel so sorry for my children. So far, I have convinced them to not have children in this evil world boy I miss the good all days before technology too.
@@OutHereOnTheFlatsWhat about all the politics going on right now trying to stop groups of people from even existing? That's a hell of a lot of futures. Or the fact that the earth is getting more unlivable every year? In what way do these have nothing to do with people's future? Zoom in a bit and you hit politics that keeps vast swathes of people trapped living paycheck to paycheck and not able to work toward anything, forcing kids to be parents in their early teens, and so much more. These absolutely have everything to do with people's futures.
I'm interested in knowing if women are also aware society is rapidly going down hill! It's been done under the heading of liberalism but it's anything but liberal.
@@OutHereOnTheFlats oh really??? Tell that to the North Koreans.
Nobody is an island. Everything society does, including politics, has an effect on your life whether you want it to or not.
I started quiet, quitting at my job many years ago. It became extremely apparent that those that went above and beyond not only didn't get financially compensated for it, but they were suddenly expected to do it all the time no matter what. It wasn't worth it. And now I do feel myself quiet, quitting, and life in general. Our society is so messed up I've lost hope in humanity. Nothing but bad news and conflict all day every day. I don't spend any time on TikTok or Instagram. Only have a Facebook page because I'm required to for my job because they somehow think that's the only way they can communicate with people is through Facebook. Spend a little time on UA-cam but doing a Solis. Getting away from human beings Seems to be the only way to deal with day-to-day life anymore. The more people I know the less I like.
What you said in the first 6 lines in regards to work, was so true. Not only did your employer expect it, other employèes, who didn't go above and beyond, socialized, caught up on social media, without being reprimanded, and made all kinds if errors (many that i corrected), and kissed ass to bosses, and got promoted. The only nice thing, I retired and still run into some of my clients, who tell me they miss me, and the place is just not the same anymore.
Happy to say im at 0 hours in IG or TikTok. UA-cam though ..... 🤷♂️😅
Same. I don't even have them installed on my phone.
I've been watching a lot of UA-cam too, but don't feel bad about watching videos like this because they help with my personal growth!
@@joshliam1967not really brotha. Even youtube is all consumption. We think we grow, but we most likely dont
Same. I don't even have a TikTok account. I look at posts on IG maybe once a month if I get an email saying hey, so and so posted, but I spend less than a minute on that site a month. UA-cam though ... Lol
Same no TikTok or IG, Twitter, FB, installed on my phone don't need them, don't want them, UA-cam however I shutter to think how much time I spend on here..lol and it's not looking at shorts either.. it's whole videos.
I have been depressed for over 25 years and I’m only 35. Life just gets more and more stressful. And while I have made a few suicidal attempts, it’s been almost a year since that happened and they never happened before the pandemic. But even before 2020, I kinda had this feeling that I was slowly dying or slowly committing suicide. And the worse part is that it is so slow. I’m finally realized that just like you can get get hell on earth, you can get heaven on earth too. But it’s still not the same as actually being in heaven. One thing that has helped me immensely with my depression is spending time with other people in church. Especially churches that specialize in mental health. But I was really disappointed when church was canceled yesterday and no one told me. But I also went to a different church tonight and it was amazing. Keep trying to find what you need. It’s been a difficult journey, but I am so happy that I have made it this far.
I think I have quietly quit, my cats and my Mom are my only motivations...Thanks Kati!
If I didn't have my bunny and my mom I feel I'd quiet quit for real!
😺❤️😺 I agree!
My circle is almost non-existant.....all I have is work...and that is dropping off...thought I was the only one..
I’m in Austin Texas right now. So much suffering in this town due to homelessness. It’s just heartbreaking how those in power do so little to make life better for others.
Thank you for this. Needed this reminder. A few years ago, I went through a divorce while pastoring a small church. In a blink of an eye, I lost my marriage and church. Took me years to not play the comparison game with others and I felt like giving up because of the pain. I’m in therapy and doing the work I need to do for my joy.
What if we just live for so long, we just get tired of doing anything? What if it's not 'quiet quitting', but just 'tired existing'?
Doing the same thing, over and over again, after a few decades of existence, can become monotonous, repeated, and pointless. And when you realize what most in effort that you do in the long run, doesn't matter overall, it gets to be harder to complete a job at full motivation.
That's why these companies want 20-year-olds, because 20-year-olds still have a prime motivation to achieve a goal - they're just starting-out - still have dreams and hopes it will happen. People in their late 30's, 40's 50's... are burnt out and tired. By now, you're just settled into the life, that'll never change; opportunities gone... so work becomes, unimportant; just a means to live to keep the balance of a life, that will never change, day... after day... after day....
That's why people are quiet quitting, in a bad economy, high inflation, college loans through the roof, housing crisis, rent rising everywhere, homelessness, and bills, groceries... that no one can afford. Dreams, we are likely not going to obtain...
That's why young people are convenient: They aren't at that point yet.
Quiet Quitters are usually much older and realize the game is rigged.
Spot on! I couldn’t have said this better if I tried!
GenZ is waking up waaaay earlier in life, I've heard. And boomers don't get it. Because in their hayday, they were actually rewarded greatly for putting in just mediocre effort.
Perfect share.thank you
I quit on caring about things that I can't change. Now I feel much more happy. We're told or expected to care about all of these stupid things that we can't change or influence and the only thing we get out of these things is sadness and misery. I basically fell into stoicism without realizing it because it makes so much sense to me.
Stoic always worked for me, then I started Sharing my feelings AND so forth, now worst for i!
@@oneseeker2 I don't interpret stoicism as not sharing feelings. I share my feelings all the time--I've made amazing progress in therapy. You may be thinking of stoicism as someone who just represses their feelings and pretends nothing is wrong. The philosophy of stoicism is so much different than that, and definitely not about suppression--it's more about letting go. You can't let a feeling go without feeling it first (important!). At its core, it's about trying keep your thoughts and emotions centered on the things that you can change and influence directly. Think of the Christian serenity prayer and even mindfulness meditation where you accept a thought or feeling exists then let it go on its way.
This also depends if you have sufficient already. I hadn't realised that I was quiet quitting life, but long term severe depression can be draining.
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
My depression and anxiety is completely draining and I think it creates health issues.
I've been quiet quitting for the past 30+ years. Been getting therapy for the past year... and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
Therapy did more harm to me than not having it. It is doubtful I will ever return. Therapy is for social people. I am not social. I hate talking to others.
@@indridcold8433same.
@@indridcold8433it eapexially hurt me since only therapy i had is when i was 14... so they ahd to legally tell my mom what i said... and. Well... yeah complaining about the fact my mother is toxic and bullying me then resulted in me getting more severare punishments. Since then i was scared to twll anyone if smth bothers me
Why did therapy harm you?!
@@indridcold8433 Agreed. For me, it’s too confronting face-to-face. I’d like to find a therapist who will allow me to lay on a couch and process. That way I can pretend I’m not talking directly to them.
I thrive on chaos. I love to fight, work hard, yell, get angry, smile, laugh, hate, love, worry, you name it. My mother is the same way, and she's 90, and has never had cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, athritis, nothing. Same with my 68-year-old sister. Chaos in in our blood, and somehow we're all the better for it. We'll live our tranquil lives, when we're six feet under.
Oh "nice" seeing I'm not alone. Lost 15 years of my life because of bpd father, ensuing parental issues, and parentification, waking up at 30 only to run into a bpd girl that destroyed me emotionnally, followed by 10 years of life presenting me what I desire only to take it away when I start believing I'd get it. Now at more that 40 my life hasn't started yet and I don't even know where to start anymore. At some point, to protect itself from suffering or disillusion, the mind just stops having dreams and desires.
So basically, quiet quitting is doing what you are being paid to do and no extra? That's called fulfilling your contract.
Not speaking up in meetings is doing what you’re paid to do?
Used to be called 'work to rule'.
🙋♀️ I’m just existing..on the sidelines watching everyone around me live their lives . I’m just observing
@@kenandurrance3470 Sometimes we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. These people may be "going through the motions" as well..but I can definitely relate.
And it's not a pretty sight...
62 individuals own 50% of the worlds wealth : might be time we all looked to where the real problem lies.
Bang on!.... THAT is the single MOST NEGATIVE EFFECTING THING ON THE PLANET.... TRILLIONS IN MONEY, has create MISERY LIFE PACELS DELIVERED TO BILLIONS OF PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD.
I’m not quitting on life, but I feel it’s quitting me. My friends never want to get together or travel at all. So I’ve gone places solo and even trips abroad alone, but it’s lonely just being on your own. Why don’t more people want to do things and get out there?? It’s always me periodically making contact, calling, suggesting just to keep the lines of communication open. But it’s not appreciated, nor reciprocated. There are a few things holding me back such as pet care as well. I love animals, but then they need me. I can’t just be spontaneous and jet off to Montana and disappear. I’d love to break free and get out there with human beings!
Maybe your friends are struggling with their own issues. It's not always about you or me. Maybe they have financial problems or health issues you don't know about? 🤔🤔
make new friends while on travel. Or Find a common theme among friends and do that often. It sure feels lonely when it's only us taking the initiative... Feel proud to make initiative regardless
@@mynamenotgiven5717 while that's usually true, if people don't make the effort to be in your life, you have to drop them. Don't guilt OC, or anyone for finding people that appreciate them and reciprocate. It's draining being the initiator, moreso than deliberately isolating yourself
Maybe they don't have the resources to keep up with you. Like money, or free time.
My friends could never understand that I just can't "get Saturday off." They wouldn't have HIRED me in the first place, if they weren't open on Saturdays.
Maybe your friends just don't want to die or become disabled due to COVID?
There’s so many depressed people in these comments. What is sad is depression will make you miss she said that was so valuable, and that as we tend to look at the world in terms of what we’re lacking. This perspective is created in us because a capitalistic society needs us to lack things. If we lack something, then they can sell it to us. So we grow up from a very early age to not be thankful but to always be looking outward to figure out what it is that we need to add to our lives.
life is the thief of joy!
And staying sane is a punishment.
Katie, I think your words are very wise! Yes, I’m 65 and feel like why bother at this point. In the past I always served in children’s ministry and really miss it a lot. But we moved three years ago and just can’t find a community we want to worship with here. It’s difficult living in a very over populated city. I feel safer at home. Rarely go anywhere. PS - your blouse is beautiful
People don’t know how good they have it. I have no real home, No friends and am iLL. You said it the best! Count your blessings!!! You never know how good you have it until it’s gone! You never think it could happen to you. Be thankful people
Im always broke. I can't get ahead. When I do something happens that is so costly it takes everything from me. Im stuck. I started a business but it's not going well. I feel cursed. So I've been considering just letting go of all the extra efforts i put in. I've been chasing happiness like you talk about in the video. Im ready to throw in the towel and just BE.
This is very validating. I appreciate your taking the time to make this video. I spend most of my day trying to figure out how to heal my brain so I can function better more consistently and I really feel like the resources you provided here will help. I plan to try to print myself out some charts to see on a regular basis so I can be prompted to check in from time to time . Having a checklist to see where I might be deficit before paralysis sets in will give me some much needed self--sufficiency until I can obtain a therapist.
I Quiet Quit Life in 2011. A promise to my Mother kept me from fully quitting. Up to that point, I had nearly reached Self-Actualization, but outside influences prevented it. In 2011, I crashed and never recovered. The rest of those 'motivations' dwindled away to nothing, or near nothing. Now I have no way forward (stuck), and after my mother died I'm just waiting for Life to finally quit me.
Great message Kati , been there done that . Mostly with me I have to stop thinking about the enormity of situations , work , etc otherwise I'm ready to crawl back into bed . You have to play it one moment at a time ,stop worrying what others think they don't have your life or your circumstances either.
I've been working on this kind of thing for a while because it was really impacting how I felt and acted. My advice to my past self would be something like "keep listening to what actually worked for others" because we are all unhappy sometimes, but not all of us are convinced we'll be permanently unhappy, or even unhappy for the rest of the day. It helps long-term to work on those six areas, but in the short term, it can help to just laugh at something and feel our mood change to something more hopeful
A full calendar doesn't equal a full life, it means you're choosing to distract yourself from living an actual life, you're just running & running.
This video made me think of a quote I read years ago by Eric Hoffer when I was into reading most of his books; "The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."
I know better than to try for happiness. I just want peace. Poverty, loneliness and lack is not peace.
Peace and quiet is such a good thing to have in your life. I could easily double mine, for starters. Currently it's not enough.
i just want to be prescribed adderall already. i want to know what it's like to not have brain fog, and to be able to think of words and actually say them, and be able to receive what is being said to me, instead of floating around in space.
Everyone's experience with adderall is different, but as someone who recently got diagnosed with ADHD and recently started taking adderall, it's not as life changing as I had hoped. It definitely does help, but I find the differences to be not that significant. But again, this is just my personal experience.
You must change your poor lifestyle habits than take adderall ❤
@@ambersexton517 perhaps have a chat with your psych about combining a non stimulant med with your Adderall, and stay on a low dose of both. Also remember to take tolerance breaks! ☺️
@@SweetUareDesiI don't think you understand how executive function works.
YES!! Omg
Before paralysis sets in.. o man I know that feeling. Balancing my needs is so much easier than trying to get motivated after I’m in the hole but sometimes I do let myself go and I always suffer the consequences. My life always feels like work to me that’s not living. Sometimes I live in the moment but most of the time I’m not, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I know where I am I have retired but still work and have depression and anxiety, which I am on meds for. I also still work by caring for my mother-in-law who is very difficult to deal with and like to aggravate me to no end. There are also monetary issues that even when bankruptcy is paid off I will be in the same situation due to medical bills. I have no motivation at all and just want to walk away and be left alone, but I am always being told I need to do this or that around the house and seem to never get anywhere with it!!! I am just sick and tired!!!!
This video's content *feels* like it should be played at the very very very beginning of your life, and not supposed to be watched for the first time when you're already decades old and engrossed in a world that simply does not care about your needs. I'm sorry for that being critical, but honestly I and probably anyone else with enough cognitive function to have a device that plays videos would have better benefitted from a video outlining the perspective of how to initiate these changes with actual context. It feels a little idealistic and out of touch to watch this for me. Like many people can barely even afford dinner for their families, dude. Where's the content for them? Do their mental health statuses not deserve evaluation becuase they simply can't afford time in terms of time or money? People are not just quiet quitting, they are SCRAPING by. Don't leave pieces of information like that untouched in this conversation. That stuff is JUST as much connected to, a part of, and relevant as any self-helpy propositions to change your life.
because therapists is a part of this system, they can't speak unpleasant truth, they will never say what is actually important and who is to blame for all of it and how to change it (problem not in people but the system, but therapists on their way to brainwash these victims alongside with society and government that something is wrong with them and not all those people and system), their job is not to help people but change them to the convenient (for the system) way of thinking
Wow Amen to that. Not bla bla bla
While I totally get your point and have been there, to be fair, she does have a ton of other videos that talk about the things you mentioned above.
9:43 The tid bit on non-negotiables is touching and all, but I think this idea that you can set something as a nonnegotiable for YOU, doesn't necessarily mean the universe and all who inhabit and share space with you also adhere to your personal rules. People have families and children and a PLETHORA of other socially-tied obligations that can't really wait for you to have your brunch with the girlies, or your 2-hour daily gym routine. I think allowing yourself to accept and embrace that the world is NOT designed to give all that you need and even want, will help you to have a more comprehensive perspective of your place in this universe, and what you can actually work on controlling from there.
Idk, just some unsolicited food for thought as someone who's had this conversation with mental health professionals for years now and grows slightly lowkey exhausted from this conversation's cyclical nature in the zeitgeist of mental health and wellness.
Also, you can *try* to make the argument that setting nonnegotiables in your life as the first step is then followed by communicating with everyone in your life about said nonnegotiables, but I honestly beg you: think of one, just ONE person, in your personal life who isn't going to be understanding enough about your needs. Simply *deciding* to have that conversation did not change anything about that person's predisposition. You cannot control other people's responses or willingness to understand. Now, proceed to imagine that one person is your spouse or partner, who you share many things in life with, or a parent, who governs many aspects of your life for the first portion of it, or a overly expectant boss who is too dependent on your work ethic to get things done. The proposition about nonnegotiables FAILS to account for the pragmatic application into one's personal life, because we cannot seemingly let ourselves accept how much a part of the universe we are, just as much as anyone or anything else. We ALL feel obligated to keep pushing, even when we engage in quiet quitting behaviors. Where is the UA-cam videos talking about the actual hard parts and difficult feelings associated with this conversation?
My issue with her comment on non-negotiables is that people often place that bar too high. Is it "really important" that you go to the gym? Or is it "non-negotiable"? So, if a family member was hit by a car, would you say you need to go to the gym instead of helping them, because you classed it as "non-negotiable"?
I struggle to believe that anything beyond the bottom layer of Maslow's Hierarchy can be non-negotiable. For me, breathing is a non-negotiable. If you insist on me giving it up, I'm going to die in just a few minutes. Even eating is negotiable. I can put off a meal (or several) if something more important comes along.
Agree!
This is what I was trying to explain to my parents. I am letting the days wash over me like waves. Thankfully I am self aware and I’m fighting against the depression. I have been trying to get through the Artists Way for the last 10 years. Thank you for sharing this video!
The War of Art is worth a read, too (not The Art of War, although that's probably a great read as well). It's well written about resistance.
The timing of my seeing this video was ironically fortuitous. I am 74 and hanging on daily by my fingernails. The complexity of my life is ASTOUNDING and I feel drained and borderline hopeless. Some days I just want to "resign".....quit.....call it a day. Yet others (too many) need what I can do for them, help them with, make good on vows made in ignorance over half a century ago as a boy. I want my last years to be happy-er.....not unrealistically euphoric or perfect. I enjoy being alone still....quiet still....reflective and thoughtful. I wrestle with the question of the ages : "What was it all about"?? My life novel needs an ending, hopefully not a "Hitchcock" style, though.....
What vows made 50 years ago? If you are still looking after your adult kids...stop!❤
This is so much me, I lost my mother last year, and the last time I saw her I thought to myself, I have no further use for this life, that has been consistant ever since, I am intersted in nothing nor want to do anything, I am like driftwood floating downstream on a river.
For me it's "Acceptance", not perfection. Success as a retiree is; " I made it" now, I can start relaxing more & enjoying life & it's simple pleasures. I accept life isn't perfect and I'm here to live. I'm not here to compete, or live in luxury. I accept all things as they are now & I don't want to push for more. What a relief and calm feeling that brings. Live life, with or without the "extras".
Not going to work anymore would make it incredibly easy for me to be happy. You're very privileged.
This is my first-time hearing of the double QQ, unfortunately the double QQ is my life. My mother was abused, while I was growing in her womb. My first acknowledgement of the violence begins at age 4 - remanning relentless, until I ran away at age 18. Yes, unfortunately these six misconceptions have plagued me and everyone else around me, as I heard loudly to just get over yourself. At age 61, I finally know why I never mounted to anything because trauma greeted me at age 4 with violent episodes through my entire upbringing. I am still missing life, as I have become uncomfortably numb.
Thank you for this, Kati! Love the idea of a scheduled check-in to help me notice sooner when the balance in my life is off. I was programmed NOT to pursue my interests by a narcissist mother and recurring depression sometimes sneaks up on me, so reminders like The More You Do the Better You Feel & Success is a Vitamin help me. Now adding Count your Blessings not your Shortcomings. : - ) Thank you ❤
This is fascinating information. I already have been working on finding gratitude and positivity in my every-day life, but having it laid out like this just really helps to drive it home.
Same 💯
Hey guys I found getting myself a rescue furry friend really helped filling the void in my heart. If u earn well and can afford to care for another living being then please give a shot at giving a chance to a rescue animal they are just like us but have no option of voicing out. If u can’t afford don’t force yourself in helping any rescue cause you will only build unwanted pressure.
When l was taught Maslow's needs, it was suggested if you aren't able to satisfy the first need you can't go on to climb to met the second need. In that way it was said thats why people in poverty can't go on to self actualization. They were too busy trying to find enough food to feed their families/themselves.
I watched an interview years ago on a show about "what is happiness" or some such. It was of a man who worked all day as a rickshaw driver and who's home was a series of cardboard boxes and tarps which he shared with his family. His take was that it was wonderful to have such a nice place with shade and cool breezes to rest with his family.
I've always done more than I should have, and I just stopped doing it because it's running me ragged. Everyone expects me to do my part and go above and beyond, but they can't do their part. I stopped doing it. I'm tired of busting my 🍑 to get nowhere and Everyone else has moved forward or moved to someplace better. I got tired of that bullshit.
Thanks for your work, Kati. Your presentations are informative and clear. In this video, I was struck by the fact: that advertising and social media provoke unhappiness and longing in people. More than once, I've heard people of my mother's generation (born during the 1920s) talking about the joy they experienced during their childhoods, in spite of the dire poverty that was experienced by so many during the Great Depression. These folks would express the same phrase: "We didn't know any better so we were happy".
I've not watched your video yet and I'm not currently in the workforce but my immediate answer is yes, I probably am. My mom passed away suddenly 2 months ago and I find I have no motivation, want to sleep all the time and am eating too many sweets. I just feel pretty blah.
January 2024 ~ Hi Kati: I just this morning found your UA-cam channel; and, it's exactly what I needed. Interestingly, I took "The Artist's Way" course by Julia Cameron back in the early 1990s - I enjoyed it so much at the time. Makes me think I need to repurchase the book or check it out from my local library. 🥰
I did the Life Pie exercise in the hospital during group therapy recently. It was really enlightening to see what could use the most work!
I found a balance with my life about 1yr ago. I dropped my work to 1/2 time, started traveling, meditating, exercising. Although this new life feels balanced, it is a lot of fun work to keep things fresh. I took a pottery class, stretch my hamstrings every other day as I’ve never been flexible. I do drink a lot more alcohol with all this time. I do contemplate my life a lot more. I started reaching out to friends I hadn’t seen in years. How to find balance when more time is there is fun work. Lots of slippery slopes. Beware.
Recently, I asked me therapist if I was acting like I had already given up on life. She said if i was asking that question, then i already knew the answer. So this video is quite relevant. However, the only thing that brings me joy in life I have some weird mental block that prevents me from doing it. I write it down on my calendar, but when I get to it, my brain says no and that's that. I don't know how to overcome this aversion to the one thing that might make me happy
I'm so there with both of you
me too, what is the answer?
That to me sounds like some kind of avoidance thing going on. I am probably wrong but I do understand what you are saying as I probably do that myself at times. Maybe if you could identify what the mental block is or what is causing it?
@@ISquishWorms how would i do that? journal maybe?
I have spent my life working hard on infrastructure having degrees and trades. I have also been the go to guy for family and friends problems as mr fix it. I have served my country in the military also. I have been and still continue to be a rescue volunteer. I have been a giver, not a taker. In 2020, I was a victim in an accident. Almost my whole left side of my body broken. The hospital system let me down for so long which is another story but no one I knew or are related to which I have helped so much ver the years came to assist. One working arm and leg left me struggling for survival for eight months while I got repaired. I realised my one way street of giving a crap got me no where the one time I needed help. I have been shutting myself off quietly ever since. I don’t need to work but I do because it supports hobbies I enjoy. Outside of work, I still do the rescue work but that’s it, no help for anyone else anymore. If the seas actually rise like they did for Noah, I am ready and I won’t be taking anyone else to safety with me. Let the ice melt.
I found out the hard way that I am a giver and nobody ever reciprocates. I will die in my house and no-one will notice for years.
@@daisy91954WOW! I have had this same thought! Wouldn't that be marvellous! Yes, focus on the poor animals that these nasty humans have abused. ✅✅✅❤
@@daisy91954Had to comment again Daisy. Wish you were my friend. Hi from New Zealand!
This is more than a self issue. Our society has become insufferable. Inflation, politics, inequality, racism, and the list goes on. Its become hard to live day to day. Most of this is brought on by a failing government system. As people, we need more than personal healing, but societal healing. And the government needs a complete overhall or we will continue to hurt.
So true! Thanks!
Agreed
Oh, I have been there from a long time now. Starting more and more to enjoy the little things in life, most would consider time wasting. Playing games, watching movies, reading sci-fi books. The things I actually enjoy. Not everyone is cut out to save the world. For some of us little people, the little things matter most. Find the things that brings you joy. That's pretty much it.
I'm now just wasting time too. Why not!
I don't know about Quit quitting but I have definitely lost my love for this life and I find it difficult to find the motivation to do anymore than I have to most of the time.
You are so wonderful, Katie. You are so real, vulnerable and brave and I am so inspired & comforted by your authenticity & courage to share as honestly as you do. You are such a gift to so many people. Sending you love and peace 🙏🏼💕🤟🏼
Narcissism is super strong in society - so no one is willing to compromise. Until something big enters the scene and disrupts societal dynamics, things are only gonna get worse. This is the early 21st century experience.
Beautiful stuff! I thought it was 'just me', feeling burnt out, with little direction, drive, etc., etc., but this seems to be (sadly) a professionally-recognised modern condition/phenomenon. I think the main message here is 'don't beat yourself up', in such a messed up world that doesn't even care. Glad I came across your enlightening channel, thank you!
What if you are not recognized by the things you do. And every step you want to take for your development is a counter attack. Please tell me that isn't discouraged.
I have never before come across a site with so many incredible intelligent and socially aware posts in the comments section.
Thank you. 😉
So the big question is: how do I stop chasing happiness and stop thinking “I’ll be happy someday” or “I’ll be happy when I have a wife and house of my own”
So, much bs on the internet with zero solution. What a joke I'm 55 out of the market. I've given up on useless women.
The unwanted but most real answer is graditute and focusing on actions instead of results, living in the present. I think Dr K on Healthygamergg has given a great video about focus on action instead of result
The solutions are outhere actually and are quit simple but not easy . Its just that we dont want to actually do them
@@AnthonyManzio
Check out the book 'the happiness trap'.
@@ashdavis3866 Don't even waste your breathe. It's all garbage.
74 year old introvert.
I mostly just have the energy to survive these days.
Once I get the "must do" done....cleaning, shopping, laundry, meals, etc. ....I am drained.
Fun is something I use to do....can hardly define it anymore.
My relationship with Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is what gives me joy!
Nature gives me joy.
Painting, Writing, Photography give me joy.
I embrace minimalism and slow living.
I did the exercise, my life pie has a dot right in the middle at the moment.
Mine too - with a fine point pen!
Same
I've never heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs before, but have somehow been architecting my life around this already. In the past year, I have built a strong foundation in the esteem layer. Many reflections throughout the last year I have been asking myself what I am missing. I acknowledge all of these amazing accomplishments and recognize my gratitude in all of the security in these othere layers of my self.
The problem with the final self actualization level is that in todays world it is difficult, almost impossible, to understand what your own potential is. To understand that 100% is not sustainable forever and that your best is not your best if it requires sacrifice.
Quiet quitting is this balance. People need to realize that showing up and doing the work is the job. Your best might require you to just show up to somethings like work.
We love you Katie, thank you for your phenomenal channel. Also I'm sending love to everyone💛
I found "quiet quitting" hilarious because I have always done it that way. I have always found very little to be worth that extra bit of my energy. But I have never had a desire to be like others or have or do all the things. I even intentionally do NOT buy things that are advertised and never name brand. I am so thankful I was raised to value myself and my joy more then all the things.
I wasn't raised that well but always being on low wages made me realise we should live beneath our means and be satisfied with less. In fact I view over spending on luxuries as just abysmal greed and selfishness.