Meanwhile… Stolen Polar Bear | Monkey On The Run In Scotland | The $1,780 Lemon
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- Опубліковано 1 лют 2024
- Meanwhile… Stephen thinks he knows who stole a taxidermied polar bear in Canada, Scotland is embroiled in a nationwide hunt to locate a lost monkey, and a 285-year-old lemon sold at auction for $1,780.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. - Розваги
Has anyone else noticed that a lot of "Meanwhile" introductions have him fighting raccoons?
They jealously guard their trash hordes, after all
I'm always looking for someone else who can never follow along with the intros like I can't process the words at all lol
If nyc raccoons are anything like Toronto raccoons, this makes sense to me.
San Francisco racoons leap from building to building!
@@annelise8739 he does go kinda fast and has developed a penchant for using big, strange, and/or non-english words. My suggestion is subtitles and a good google search.
And whoever wants to translate and post the Meanwhile openings in a comment for those who have trouble hearing/reading them would be deeply appreciated!
Stephen how dare you accuse us Scots of, erm, _utilising_ sheep. That’s the national pastime of our Celtic cousins down in Wales 🐑 🏴😃
He didn't say "utilising" .. not like that... maybe he had some kind of candlelight dinner in mind..
I have a Welsh friend.
His first girlfriend is now a moussaka.
And Tasmania and New Zealand. It seems to be a universal "sport" 😂
I have it on good authority those are "Montana Housewives" so this is unfortunately more universal than one would like to think. 😂
you think that's bad, you dont want to know what goes on in Alabama
There has been no “is potato” in a long long time.
More Russian news are required for the "is potato" joke
We've been having "Whale!"
Is Potato
Is no potato.
Is no potato is why is no potato jokes.
We have Universities . . . and it would have been the University Engineering students who did it. They have contests every year - this University against that University - to see who can pull the most audacious prank. One year, the Engineering students at UBC (University of British Columbia) - hung a Volkswagen Beetle from under the Lion's Gate Bridge. Another - they stole the 9-O-Clock Gun from where it usually lives in the LOCKED, CHAIN-LINK BUNKER at Stanley Park, and set it up at a different site in the city about 10 miles away from there. One year (when my Mom was an Art School student in the mid-1940s) - they put a needle in the middle of a 6-way cross-walk - unloaded a hay wagon over it - then proceeded to search for the proverbial "needle in a haystack."
It's always the Engineering students from either UBC or SFU (Simon Fraser University) - and they always manage it in less than 8 hours. It's like a spirit quest . . .
OK; so now we know whodunit....
We have colleges too...they offer 2 year diplomas
Haha! Thanks for the funny anecdotes.
Gotta admit, I was really hoping he would pull out the "Monkey on the Lamb" graphic one last time. Even in those, the monkey was almost *_always_* already caught.
"...the dungeon-gristle flapjack of news." It's a good image
“I think his mind has been taken by the French disease” almost made me spit take my tea. Pithy, erudite, and blue as a sailor. A+, no notes. 🤌🏼
Seal Team 6 was GENIUS
Sorry Stephen, gotta call you out on this one…Raccoons never ever leave scraps of Twinkies.
@BelieveinJesusChrist3 Well, that sure solves everything!
You are absolutely correct, raccoons eat every crumb..... Except the ones they wash off their paws into the water dish...
He fought the raccoon for the scraps.
@BelieveinJesusChrist3 "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one..." -Spock
@BelieveinJesusChrist3Is that before or after he f4cked the sheep?
Also: does he f$ck the same one over and over again or do they take turns and if so, how does he keep them apart: the sha99ed and the non-sha99ed sheep…??
the song Shock the Monkey!!!!!!!!! Comes to mind
The graphic designers with the seal team 6 graphic needs a raise
I lost it at that part 😂
Doesn't make sense that American marines would be called out. For this one, you would get help from Wales.
To be fair to Mr. P. Lu McEndedcourtship, lemons were luxury items back in the day. Unable to survive the winter, they were very hard to grow in higher latitudes. In fact, in some places greenhouses are called _orangeries_, as they were built to grow oranges, and were a sign of wealth and power.
Interesting. I learned somenthing new. Thanks!
Wait wait … there was an escaped monkey that was even described as “sheepish” and you didn’t use the “Monkey on the Lam(b)” graphic? 🙈🐑
I'm LIVID! I make jokes about that segment sometimes and was on the edge of my seat waiting for it!
😂😂😂😂🍻
@@pheonix6119 I knoow! I was waiting for it!
This was the biggest disappointment of that whole segment! I was waiting for that, it was an absolute layup and they didn't take it!
I legitimately clicked on this video just because I expected to see that graphic 😭
Maybe he "shocked" the monkey...giggle
Dang! You beat me to the "shocked" the monkey reference 😂 well done
I'm thinking that lemons were not common 285 years ago in GB? Kinda like the pineapple situation.
James Lind was using lemons to prevent scurvy in sailors by the mid-18th century, so it seems highly unlikely they were considered as exotic and rare as pineapples.
I'm thinking about compiling the characterization of the meanwhile Colbert and making a biography based on the actions he relates. Definitely a drifter
Holy shitt.... good job writers. You guys actually told the right ingredients for kue serabi!
I really appreciate the writers that come up with Stephen's intro to Meanwhile ... The tastiest word salads anywhere online, cable or broadcast TV. Thanks a bunch you guys!👍🏻
Like the "dungeon gristle flapjack of news" as a sterling example?
@@istdochallesegal3427❣️❣️❣️
Stephen, the Scottish don't dally with Sheep, it's the Welsh 😏🐑
🤣🤣🤣
As a Scot I can confirm this assessment.
As an ancestor of the Welsh, I must say... Oh my God, my ancestors were also sheep! No wonder I often feel a little sheepish.
Very eloquently put!😂
Then why are kilts made of wool?
That shows you how exotic citrus fruit was in 1739.
They didn't know the bear was missing for quite some time and other animals beavers I think have gone missing as well and I would not be shocked if Stephen just blew this case wide open!!
England has a lemon older than America.
Yep, also it might have interesting genetic differences from current lemon species.
It’s actually an interesting thing.
How nice for you.
Lemons will grow in England?!!! 😮
Kind of kills the joke, but for the time frame of the gift given, that dairy entry would read "he gave me a lemon, such a rich and connected man. I'm marrying him AT ONCE"
I would think that lemon was like giving her a sports car today. Or something equivalent.
It's also older than Germany and Italy but funny how nobody ever makes that sort of joke about them.
So I am in an edinburgh taxi this morning and listening to this story on the radio and the driver and joking that only Scotland could turn such a silly story into a national crisis. So you can imagine my hilarity when this comes up on meanwhile ! Inspiration for a new Burns poem “Ode to a Macaque on nicking rubbish from my porch “
Sweet and nice to hear Stephen mentioned Rojo Lele and Kue Serabi Pandan. Thanks you, Mr Colbert. Hello from Indonesia, home of Rojo Lele (it is type of rice famous in Pulau Jawa (Java Island). Thank you.
I love the Indonesian 🇮🇩 reference. This show has the best writers!
Are we sure that it is a 285 year old lemon and not a lime?
'cause an inscribed citrus given to a lady is like the dopest pick-up lime ever.
I have seen it on coconuts
BOO! BOOOOO! No actually, I’m jealous. I’m also stealing this joke so that I may make my teens groan and gag. Thank you, internet stranger.
@@jjh1978-2 If we can not drag our teenagers, then parenthood is just not worth it. We laughed a lot. Which was wonderful.
1:49 wow, you can cite the ingredients of Indonesia's kue serabi (pancake). I'm in awe, Stephen!
Another award worthy intro!
Stephen, you just summoned the whole country of Indonesia. We are watching you and we love you.
They're smokey the bear. 😀🤗🤔
• Monkey
• Scottish
• Fugitive, though not yet convicted
Where was his Secret Service detail during all this?
My favorite part of "Meanwhile" is always the intro. ❤
I have a lemon in my fridge that looks just like that one.
Was your fridge made in 1735?
lol @ PolarBong
Did the math on the lemon: it was approximately $6.25 284 years ago.
If you want to apply interest from 284 years ago, be my guest; but, that lemon was BALLIN' ON INTEREST!!!!!
What, no monkey on the lamb? lol
That person definitely fell in love with the monkey😂
Fell in lust for sure
Or he had an extra "WEE DRAM"!
Why are you surprised scotland have black people.
The reason why that lemon survived is because it was precious to the person who received it, and they kept it safe.
safe from...monkeys?
It came from their prized lemon tree.
Funny thing is, Life NEVER gave us any lemons. Humans created lemons through cross-breeding 👀
you must have a thick skin to say something so seedy
@@danstrayer111That was a pithy comment.
@@daniellamcgee4251please don't be sour about it.
🤨What is going on in England that a lemon can just sit in someone's cabinet, undisturbed, for _285 years?_
It was a luxury object at the time, gifted by some wealthy guy to his beloved. What's going on with the world that a precious object of affection gets preserved... And if it was some golden trinket, it wouldn't even be considered THAT old...
@@enricogattone432 _"...luxury_ object?" A _lemon?_
@@lazyperfectionist1 yes. An exotic, expensive object. As much as spices from India. You don't seem to realise things were slightly less easy a couple of centuries ago. Or even up to WWII
@@enricogattone432 That's not the sticking point, for me. It's a _lemon._
See, we often treat things made of precious metals and precious _stones_ as valuable keepsakes because they _last._ Diamonds are _forever._
Lemons are _perishable,_ though. After a lemon has been picked, it begins to _decay._ After a couple weeks, it begins to rot, at which point it is no longer safe to _eat._ I get the impression this part had to have been at least a little bit _worse,_ 285 years ago.
Now in compost, lemons completely biodegrade within six _weeks._ What's going on with _this_ one that it's still identifiable as something that was a lemon, 285 _years_ ago?
@@lazyperfectionist1 ever heard about mummies? Mammalian bodies decompose as well, and yet, even without proper embalming, there's a whole lot of natural mummies (human or else) around. There's centuries old plants collections around the world, as well. As long as microbial activity is suppressed, decay doesn't occur. And citrus fruits are rich in a bunch of chemicals that can act as preservatives, as long as humidity is kept low
Somebody paid 2 grand for a over 200 year old lemon??? Some people have just too much money.
As compared to...
Superbowl tickets?
Yeah, someone paid a lot of money for a one-of-a-kind object more than two centuries old. Go figure...
Both the means and the whiles were quite nice on this one.
Meanwhile is the Panacea we need
Bravo Stephen!!! 👏🏾😂😂😂
Fun fact, L Ron Hubbard's father was adopted into the Hubbard family and Elbert is his uncle. He apparently admired his uncle greatly. Well L Ron certainly turned his lemons into lemonade 🤪
That lemon is also autographed by Xenu.
I stole way more 'college student' stuff than my college student friends when I went to work instead of college. It's Canada, it's just as likely to have been a drunk construction worker as college students, haha!
I'd put money on that bear being in some retirees hunting lodge rather than a dorm room. Frat boys and old farts have the same level of maturity when they get together.
As a boomer, I'll take that as a compliment. A second time around to not give a shit!😎
@@geraltrivia6148 I bet that Ben Gazzara's estate took it... ;-P
When I worked at Jasper Park Lodge we did this kind of stuff all the time. I stole a golf car to square off with an elk in a Ripley-in-the-front-end-loader-versus-Alien-Queen inspired moment. (The elk started it, it kept charging me and stopping a cm away from multiple impalement as I was backed up into a fence. I merely chased it off. No animals were hurt.) My point being, the prime suspects are the resort employees. Wilderness cabin fever is real.
Being an Edmontonian and a construction worker my money is on the construction worker.😂😂😂
the polar bear graphic is about as tame as you can make it
That lemon would've been the equivalent of a luxury car back then! A pineapple was a house in the hills
2:10 A little shortcut
Why would you skip the best part where he does the intro?
Did someone mention delicious pancakes?
@ashumsx28 it goes on way too long. Amusing maybe the first 20 times.
aw you know she kept that lemon for her whole life!
Pretty sure Ryan Gosling is also vegan
How is it I'm finding out that there was a "heist" near my city from an American talk show? 😂
Best Pre Birthday Ever Stephen!!!
We don't have "college students" in Canada. We have University Students.
Well technically there are colleges in Canada....they offer 2 year technical diplomas, whereas universities offer 4 year degrees and higher
@billthecat129 Quebec has some nuances lol. Domestic students must go to 2 years of college, then they acn go to 3 years of university!
Some people lead isolated lives in Scotland
I hear that the monkey was running around Scotland screaming, " THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"... ;-P
Hi lander how's it going
2:16
3:16 that is just wrong 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Stolen bear? Check C.M Burns
Thank you for the laughs, Mr. Colbert!
Good morning stephen colbert fans
Nailed it Steve.
I'm from Inverness in Scotland, and a mate suggested the money headed back to the park once it realised there weren't any hot springs around!
Most Canadian universities don't actually have sorority houses, because we don't really have a college culture like you do in the US
That's a shame....
@@honorsilverthorne7227 not really, we don't obsess over it
And also, "college" doesn't mean the same thing as in the US; it's more like a vocational school.
@@patrickmcgraw9168 true, we have community colleges that are provincially funded that would be considered vocational schools, we do have actual Universities too
Said monky has been caught and probably has a hangover..
If the lemons seeds are viable (little chance), imagine the possible value
I guess this is breaking news to people as I have to say it almost every day. People are animals.
Modern apes, no less.
Here I am (music riff) now up at ….2am Waiting for post op pain to subside. Colbert works well.
Stephen I will ask Bruce Fummey after I stop laughing
3:16 Are your graphics team made up of college students?? 😂😂😂
no, it's the bong part to focus on.
Remember "Monkey on the Lamb"??😂
I'm laughing so hard I can barely stand!! One of the best ever!!! SEAL TEAM, ha! Blessed bee, Stephen, for great great laugh!
I hope the raccoon is ok?!?!
I am not American. As a youth, that is exactly what I thought the Seal Team was. It was very confusing, and I wasn't sure how effective they would be. But I had already heard some pretty crazy stories about Americans, so I thought a seal team military was entirely possible.
Fun fact about the origin of the Scotsmen and sheep stereotype: stealing a sheep used to have a harsher punishment than banging one so people caught stealing sheep would lie and say they were just uh… having a sheep romance.
So they were more understanding of buggery than theft, hm? Does that mean the women were few in Scotland, or the women were uglier than the sheep? ;)
That intro really did it
"Topical"...not knocken the guy but once you hear it you will never unhear it .
Inscribed Lemon is a gift that time forgot.
I came into this hoping for another Monkey on the Lam segment 😅
Tonight's Meanwhile kinda feels like an alternative reality
Surprised he didn’t bring back the monkey on the lamb graphic
Wish I could've heard this
Not me replay it a number of times before realizing, you are indeed saying Rojo Lele
I was really hoping to see the "Monkey on the Lamb" graphic.
I don't think the man beeped the monkey. I think that was actually Werner Herzog, living in Scotland now.
Not saying WH beeped the monkey...just that he got interviewed.
greetings & laughter from Indonesia... 😂
In Scotland, jungle love was driving us crazy.
If you love me give me a lemon so I know its real. Also to confuse people in 2262
How did you miss the Yorkshire pudding part of the monkey story?
Maybe because it would take too long to look up, and explain Yorkshire pudding to a U.S. audience.
Thanks! I now must know that part of the story!
If a girl ever think your gifts are cheep, tell her she just need to keep them for 285 years and they will be worth a lot!
That's a new take on Smokey Bear.
No monkey on the lamb?!
Damn, I am gonna guess that John Krasinski will not show up and Randall Park will portray as John Krasinski
"That is really not how i would have had you make that graphic!"😂😂😂 I dunno, looks accurate to me!
The guys were forced to pay for the bear, in essence, making them buy polar.🙄
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Haley learned one thing from her time in the Trump orbit… when you say something outrageously stupid, double down.
No word yet about the whereabouts of the bear. Theres no snow here just north of Edmonton, so I'm sure someone has seen a polar bear in their travels 🇨🇦🤷🏽♂️
Gaun yersel wee puggy!
Surprised the monkey story wasn't featured in the "monkey on the lamb" segment.
Intellectual property? Might belong to the comedy channel.
nah nah, that bear was stolen by whomever had been bragging about how they "bagged" it.
Love the faux Roycrofters reference.
lemonage
Correction: The few fraternities that do exist in Canada are at universities, not colleges.