Meanwhile… Subway Surfer Sex | Airplane Mode Unnecessary | Stephen Tries KFC’s Chizza

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  • Опубліковано 3 січ 2025

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  • @RalphJBater
    @RalphJBater 10 місяців тому +184

    If lying about airplane mode keeps the guy sitting next to me from yapping to his proctologist the entire flight... I support the airlines on this one...

    • @lisagulick4144
      @lisagulick4144 10 місяців тому +11

      Welp, now you'll have to cope in a different way. I highly recommend joining the conversation from where you are. If the guy gives you a dirty look or says that it's a private conversation, just smile gently and say that from his volume level, you had assumed it was a free consultation for everyone in earshot. Extra points if you can get the surrounding passengers in on it, too!

    • @nobody138-
      @nobody138- 10 місяців тому +3

      Tag team in. Tell him you're also a proctologist and would be willing to confirm his doctor's findings right there with a courtesy exam.

    • @lisagulick4144
      @lisagulick4144 10 місяців тому +2

      @@nobody138- 🤣🤣🤣 If laughter is truly the best medicine, then you just cured my bout of COVID! Thanks, friend.

    • @kristinn3367
      @kristinn3367 10 місяців тому

      You don’t get cell service in the air regardless.

    • @Warblaster
      @Warblaster 10 місяців тому +1

      @@kristinn3367 Must be tough, always being the heart of the party, huh?

  • @cstone3178
    @cstone3178 10 місяців тому +258

    Airplane mode was the last defence against incredibly self-centered people who don‘t think about the people sitting around them.

    • @witchypoorose5196
      @witchypoorose5196 10 місяців тому +21

      Yup. I thought: oh boy. Here we go!"
      🤦‍♀️

    • @kefinkamed
      @kefinkamed 10 місяців тому +10

      I would go even further and simply block the signal on phones while in flight.

    • @Ceegee-pw8ne
      @Ceegee-pw8ne 10 місяців тому +16

      I used to take the bus and the people talking on their phones so loud in a packed bus were so annoying. If anybody said anything to them they would yell, this is a private conversation. No it isn't you just made it public!
      Now it's at stores. Why do people think it's ok to go around talking loudly on their phone in public places, so unnecessary.

    • @raminatox
      @raminatox 10 місяців тому

      @@kefinkamed me using a phone with a huge sd card full of content: challenge accepted...

    • @cmdraftbrn
      @cmdraftbrn 10 місяців тому +2

      @@kefinkamed just wrap that tube in a brass mesh

  • @jjoohhhnn
    @jjoohhhnn 10 місяців тому +31

    Colbert is the king of classic late night. He's skilled and dedicated, and it seems like his team is, too. His band is fantastic, especially. The audio for the outro is surprisingly high quality, and it's great that it's unique every time (cause it's live), keeps it fresh while maintaining a tradition.

    • @seanl6478
      @seanl6478 10 місяців тому

      He’s a loser, lol wtf

  • @shelleylatin7114
    @shelleylatin7114 10 місяців тому +7

    Luis Cato is amazing. I love it when he laughs at Stephen and strums his guitar at jokes. Best and in the business and we at home don’t get to hear enough.

  • @jamesyoungquist6923
    @jamesyoungquist6923 10 місяців тому +177

    Jokes aside, the FAA has regulated the statistically safest way to travel for decades. My utmost respect for the work they do. Outlier tragedies happen and are deplorable. It boggles my mind the complexity and inginuity required to safely get hundreds of thousands of pounds of travelers and cargo flying at hundreds of miles per hour with sucha great track record

    • @eduardoandres5989
      @eduardoandres5989 10 місяців тому +3

      "hundreds of miles per hour" ??
      xD
      is it like japan's bullet trains?

    • @ThatOpalGuy
      @ThatOpalGuy 10 місяців тому +14

      Hundreds of thousands of pounds of travelers...
      So, one plane full of Americans.

    • @kenbrown2808
      @kenbrown2808 10 місяців тому +12

      meanwhile, airline geeks are working to adapt radar altimeters to not suffer interference from 5G cell phone towers near airports. and people who know how cell phones work, would remind you that cell phones perform best within 3 miles of a tower, and passenger jets typically cruise between 5 and 7 miles away from the ground. and also that if your phone is trying to connect to a tower, it will run its transmitter at maximum power - which can be 3000 times what it runs at when it has a good signal. so if you calculate the normal battery life of an iphone, and divide by 3000, you get about 7.2 seconds before you need to find a iCharger

    • @andyduck1127
      @andyduck1127 10 місяців тому

      Any industry allowed to "self regulate" has a backup plan called Oops.

    • @FightingTorque411
      @FightingTorque411 10 місяців тому +15

      ​@@eduardoandres5989How fast do you think a passenger jet flies at cruising height?
      ...
      (the answer is about 500-600mph, depending on size / weight / wind factors, or about three times as fast as a bullet train)

  • @meredithwatchman4696
    @meredithwatchman4696 10 місяців тому +41

    Can someone please take really good care of Stephen, because I love him. I need this forever

    • @alg9330
      @alg9330 9 місяців тому

      Evie takes good care of him! But yes I agree.

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 10 місяців тому +112

    I like how you brought the segment full circle with the last joke. Good "dismount!" 😉

    • @Reyn_Roadstorm
      @Reyn_Roadstorm 10 місяців тому +8

      A good dismount is also how those subway surfers got off the train, after they got off on the train...

    • @jessragan6714
      @jessragan6714 10 місяців тому

      Imagine if the sexual encounter had ended like Dennis Hopper did in the film Speed. Talking about giving head.

  • @Coolestmovies
    @Coolestmovies 10 місяців тому +376

    I suspect Catholics would have been more approving of the man on top of the train if he’d been eating beaver.

    • @PippisMom
      @PippisMom 10 місяців тому +16

      You sooo damn bad!😂

    • @garrettgravley
      @garrettgravley 10 місяців тому +20

      This is a good joke

    • @theseinstrumentals
      @theseinstrumentals 10 місяців тому +4

      Lmbo

    • @markmh835
      @markmh835 10 місяців тому +11

      .....But only during Lent.
      Jesus is watching ........ 😱😵😁

    • @jlvfr
      @jlvfr 10 місяців тому +18

      Nothing says "I really believe god exists" like trying to find ways to break god's rules...

  • @NarffetWerlz
    @NarffetWerlz 10 місяців тому +156

    'Chizza' is the sound your heart will make as it immediately shuts down.

    • @PippisMom
      @PippisMom 10 місяців тому +8

      😂

    • @NoThatRyan
      @NoThatRyan 10 місяців тому +5

      Like a death rattle for your self resp3ct.

    • @Azerinth
      @Azerinth 10 місяців тому +5

      To be fair that is just crispy Chicken Parmesan with pepperoni. Just served up a little different.

    • @tlouiseallen9302
      @tlouiseallen9302 10 місяців тому

      😂😂

    • @robertlewis5439
      @robertlewis5439 10 місяців тому +5

      The sound the EKG makes right before it starts singing a steady tone.

  • @TheLastChickenWing
    @TheLastChickenWing 10 місяців тому +24

    That silver tongue gets me everytime. His writers must have a blast with that one.

  • @cranapple3367
    @cranapple3367 10 місяців тому +83

    The lack of love for the "got off at the same stop" joke is criminal. Best of the segment.

    • @bestieswithtesties
      @bestieswithtesties 10 місяців тому +1

      It was predictable and mediocre.

    • @bwenluck9812
      @bwenluck9812 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@bestieswithtestiesIt was *still* funny, lol.... 😉

    • @bestieswithtesties
      @bestieswithtesties 10 місяців тому +2

      @@bwenluck9812 Sure. Humor is subjective. Which is why complaining that everyone else didn't find something as funny as he did is the real crime.

  • @_andrewvia
    @_andrewvia 10 місяців тому +105

    One must never fart in an Apple computer store.
    They don't have Windows.

  • @asha1920
    @asha1920 10 місяців тому +73

    Funnily enough, beavers were considered fish by the Catholic Church during the Middle Ages, and so were lent approved for quite a while.
    It’s kind of fun seeing the church go back to the same old loopholes

    • @adawil2002
      @adawil2002 10 місяців тому +7

      Like the Garfunkel & Oates "Loophole"?

    • @twincast2005
      @twincast2005 10 місяців тому +2

      Similarly, different denominations of Buddhist monks follow different degrees of vegetarianism at different times, including at least one of those present in Japan for whom it's okay to eat birds and who've argued that hare ears are bird wings.

    • @justinburgard8189
      @justinburgard8189 10 місяців тому +8

      The point of giving up meat was actually that it was a rich person's food, and they were *supposed* to donate the money they would have spent on meat to the poor (nary a Catholic has any idea of that, much less does it). Fish was exempt because it was a primary food of many poor people. Many of the exemptions came from assorted things being the food of the poor in the Americas.

    • @birbluv9595
      @birbluv9595 10 місяців тому +2

      Beavers have cloacas, like fish and reptiles. That’s good enough for me. But i’m not eating any cute furry beavers!

    • @archerlady
      @archerlady 10 місяців тому +2

      Beaver tails also look "scaled". There were quite a few non-meat days outside of Lent, and many dispensations were issued "by donation" :D

  • @Abedeuss
    @Abedeuss 10 місяців тому +64

    Airplane mode is just "everyone shut the hell up and let me get some quiet" mode.

    • @KitC916
      @KitC916 10 місяців тому +1

      Next, ban babies and infants on redeye overnight flights. Please 🙏

    • @diazinth
      @diazinth 10 місяців тому

      @@KitC916much more convenient to not get annoyed by them though

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 10 місяців тому

      and be forced to listen to the engine start-up in excruciating detail and get a panic attack that is no longer under control by either oral sedatives or alcohol (and god forbids if you take both because that effect immediately cancels out). you're not even allowed to have your noise-cancelling headset (whether it's a headphone or a nonelectric device for mitigating loud noises).

  • @Aace00
    @Aace00 10 місяців тому +23

    I always put my phone in airplane mode because it saves battery. Having cell and wifi on without actual cellular signal means your phone will just keep scanning for signals and burning battery.

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 10 місяців тому

      makes a lot of sense to me, and all i wanna do is listen to my meditative music on my phone (downloaded of course) in order to ignore the fact that i'm in a flying sardine tube that's liable of CRASHING AND BURNING 😫

    • @JessicaO490Z
      @JessicaO490Z 8 місяців тому

      Heck I'll use airplane mode anywhere if I need to save battery. Cuts down on all the useless checking your apps do.

  • @billyeveryteen7328
    @billyeveryteen7328 10 місяців тому +11

    I think the FAA has made no secret of the fact that modern mobile phones don't interfere with any of the spectra that airplanes operate on. That said, you should still probably put your phone in airplane mode on a flight. Not for safety reasons, but because if you don't, you'll drain your battery very fast, as your phone tries fruitlessly to connect to new towers, but can't because you're moving too quickly.

  • @FflawedMetalhead
    @FflawedMetalhead 10 місяців тому +7

    Most phones can't connect to a tower above 10k feet, and large planes tend to cruise at least double or triple that. The only reason I've used 'airplane' mode was to save battery life.

  • @arthurwatts1680
    @arthurwatts1680 10 місяців тому +41

    Not sure that the Vatican would be onboard with my version of 'eating beaver for Lent'.

    • @birbluv9595
      @birbluv9595 10 місяців тому

      Lol!!

    • @Ceegee-pw8ne
      @Ceegee-pw8ne 10 місяців тому

      You're bad!😂😂😂😂

    • @mj8495
      @mj8495 8 місяців тому

      Not to worry.... I am sure they have never seen "Leave it to Beaver" 😂

  • @costeris35
    @costeris35 10 місяців тому +8

    I fondly remember Toby’s rant in the pilot episode of the West Wing, 1999, about the fact that airplane mode was a nonsense rule. Only took 25 years.

  • @Unfortunately_Mickey
    @Unfortunately_Mickey 10 місяців тому +163

    The coolest thing about the stingray is that there are three chances: parthenogenisis, her holding onto "material" from her last partner for 8+ years, or that some sharks and rays are close enough to reproduce. The scientists won't really know till she gives birth and they can see the offspring

    • @notlikely4468
      @notlikely4468 10 місяців тому +27

      Ya well..that's what the guy who cleans the aquarium at night is saying
      There's a Steve Irwin joke in there somewhere

    • @Tripas350
      @Tripas350 10 місяців тому +32

      And now I'm crossing my fingers for a badass stingray-shark hybrid!

    • @MM-ud1xf
      @MM-ud1xf 10 місяців тому +3

      Thanks nerd!

    • @Azerinth
      @Azerinth 10 місяців тому +20

      Parthenogenesis has actually been observed in several sharks and rays, including one raised from well before sexual maturity in an aquarium without any male interaction.

    • @Ceegee-pw8ne
      @Ceegee-pw8ne 10 місяців тому +3

      ​@@Tripas350can't imagine what that would look like😂

  • @altortugas5979
    @altortugas5979 10 місяців тому +132

    The colonel decided he’d had enough of Dominoes putting chicken on crappy pizzas. He decided it was time to put crappy pizza onto chicken.

    • @merriememories
      @merriememories 10 місяців тому +2

      So chicken Parmesan pizza? This is the way.

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 10 місяців тому +3

      Ancient hebrew texts dating all the way back to the 90's say that when you have pizza on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime

    • @merriememories
      @merriememories 10 місяців тому +1

      @@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing I forgot about the pizza bagel

    • @lisagulick4144
      @lisagulick4144 10 місяців тому

      Ah, Domino's...the pizza that doubles as a spare tire for your bicycle.

    • @Pait728
      @Pait728 10 місяців тому +1

      The Chizza sounds like something we tried in high school when we were really stoned. Also penut butter on a Pop Tart.

  • @loporina
    @loporina 10 місяців тому +346

    I love how KFC's "aternative" ideas are all "How can we increase the fat content of our food?" First we had the double down which was cheese between two chicken breasts, but if that wasn't enough fat intake, now we have fried chicken, with cheese and pepperoni on it. We're one step away from just a deep-fried fried chicken breast.

    • @colleenclements5715
      @colleenclements5715 10 місяців тому +29

      I can feel my arteries hardening . . . Just looking at it💯

    • @timothypenwell2487
      @timothypenwell2487 10 місяців тому +30

      That's called extra crispy😅

    • @jemtec1
      @jemtec1 10 місяців тому

      Sugar hardens arteries.
      Most omega 6 oils block cellular function.
      Not animal fats or saturated animal fats.
      Our bodies are genetically programmed for little sugar and not eating 6 times a day.

    • @sven5542
      @sven5542 10 місяців тому +33

      I bet it also has 300% of your daily sodium…

    • @trevordavis9677
      @trevordavis9677 10 місяців тому +13

      Why don't you just have something "normal" at KFC, then go to Domino's for dessert?

  • @chrisvannorman4524
    @chrisvannorman4524 10 місяців тому +35

    how does he flawlessly execute these meanwhile segment intros? dudes the best orator of our generation...possibly any?

    • @j10001
      @j10001 10 місяців тому +1

      Simple: Rehearsal.

    • @thomicrisler9855
      @thomicrisler9855 10 місяців тому +1

      A modern day Cicero.

    • @akinpaws
      @akinpaws 10 місяців тому +9

      ​@@j10001 I've seen him appear surprised at some of the lines. I'm moderately sure the whole thing is a challenge/exercise in which his writers try to craft something that'll trip him up, as he perfects his skill in.. what is it called, cold reading, maybe? His background is improv comedy after all.

    • @greenderp
      @greenderp 10 місяців тому +1

      idk, they got a little too much for me, i love the segment but i skip his long winded intro every time.

    • @mk17173n
      @mk17173n 10 місяців тому +2

      He makes mistakes. i went to a live taping and they rehearse many times. Some segments on one show are sometimes recorded in a previous show. Most people wont notice it but his suit is usually different in some segments because it wasnt recorded the same day. Thats the magic of television.

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley 10 місяців тому +51

    I hope KFC paid handsomely to have the Ed Sullivan audience groan loudly at someone eating their latest commercial offering.

    • @lousialb8962
      @lousialb8962 10 місяців тому

      That was really cringe, wasn't it?

  • @clintmash245
    @clintmash245 10 місяців тому +2

    I appreciate the various discussions of airplane mode. I just want to make sure we keep it. It's a helpful button when my phone forgets how to use cell service and I need to send a text quicker than a restart.

  • @GTARC-2023
    @GTARC-2023 10 місяців тому +24

    Awesome news...Swamp Rat is back on the menu!

  • @streef88
    @streef88 10 місяців тому +3

    Meanwhile is "the balm that soothes the soul!!!! " Thank you Stephen. XX

  • @stephenjames2951
    @stephenjames2951 10 місяців тому +16

    One of the best “meanwhile” segments.

  • @fragout9575
    @fragout9575 10 місяців тому +46

    It's literally chicken Parmesan with pepperoni.... Stop it!! 😂

  • @aureliusmcnaughton6133
    @aureliusmcnaughton6133 10 місяців тому +8

    "Chizza", also known as "someone got high and put pepperoni on top of Chicken Parmesan"
    🤤 😋😂

    • @KitC916
      @KitC916 10 місяців тому

      Chicken parm is usually not fried.

  • @kayladawn
    @kayladawn 10 місяців тому +7

    The joke about the Catholic Church eating the neighbor's kid was so spot on😂😂😂 finally someone telling the truth😂❤

    • @lisagulick4144
      @lisagulick4144 10 місяців тому +1

      Sooo...every sperm is sacred, and now we know the real reason why!

  • @fyndor
    @fyndor 10 місяців тому +2

    I have been saying this for basically 20 years. Got a job testing electronics right out of college. One of the things we literally tested was AV electronics for back of seat screens to prove they can't interfere with the airplane. I realized then, that every single electronic we allow on the market is tested to prove it won't interfere with things like airplanes, and the stuff that goes into airplanes is just super-duper tested to an even higher standard. So what does this mean? If you have a legal device, that was legally sold in the US, that meets US guidelines (the FCC/UL etc stuff on label) and not some hack knockoff made in a shady factory in the 3rd world, you basically have no chance of messing with planes. The shady knockoffs will emit more potentially because some are not tested properly and lack proper engineering, but we have another counter measure. The electronics are also all designed not to accept unwanted outside radiation and have it affect the device, up to a certain limit. What that means is that the airplane, even with some bad actors, can handle it anyway because all the electronics in it aren't knockoffs, they meets standards, even higher standards than normal devices, and they can handle a lot of outside interference. So I realized then the only way some plane is crashing or not able communicate properly etc, is if someone has purposely brought a significantly high powered device that was designed to interfere on spectrums that are crucial to operation of the plane. I just can't imagine a scenario where you can get something powerful enough (likely on the large side) through security onto a plane that can have any meaningful affect. And if you could, well at that point you are a terrorist anyway intent to take the plane down, not so rando watching a video on his iPhone. You aren't going to hurt a plane with your phone.

  • @nitro6002
    @nitro6002 10 місяців тому +55

    Chizza just sounds like cheap chicken parmesan with pepperonis.

    • @GlennTillema
      @GlennTillema 10 місяців тому +10

      That's exactly what it is!

    • @nomenclature9373
      @nomenclature9373 10 місяців тому +5

      Shopping list memo to self: Frozen breaded chicken, pepperonis and shredded cheese.

    • @andizhanstuey
      @andizhanstuey 10 місяців тому +2

      Seth had a chef make chicken parmesan on his show, now this el cheapo version. Are we going to get Late wars to spice up the ratings!😆❤

    • @Kane5Cats-ME
      @Kane5Cats-ME 10 місяців тому

      Don't forget the sauce!​@@nomenclature9373

    • @Kane5Cats-ME
      @Kane5Cats-ME 10 місяців тому +2

      Yeppers...and open-face chicken parm sandwich.
      No great leap of culinary creativity here - they sometimes make chicken parm sandwiches at my mom's nursing home! Add pepperoni (or whatever "pizza topping" you want) and you just beat KFC at their own game - for a lot less 💰💰💰💰.

  • @Tomas.Malina
    @Tomas.Malina 10 місяців тому +5

    I'm pretty sure you won't get any reception at the flight altitude, so it's not about preventing people from making calls. It's mostly about saving your battery as your phone won't be trying to reconnect to the network with all its might for several hours.

  • @Adyen11234
    @Adyen11234 10 місяців тому +40

    "What do you mean the Catholic church owns a lot of sources of alligator, beaver, and capybara meat?"

    • @arthurwatts1680
      @arthurwatts1680 10 місяців тому +4

      I GUESS they are big in South America, esp Brazil where those animals abound. Capybara are giant rodents, so you can have my portion ;)

    • @Juicexlx
      @Juicexlx 10 місяців тому +4

      @@arthurwatts1680 Then, rats enter the conversation...I mean, if you're going to eat 3 different species of rodents (they also clear Otters for the ovens), might as well know how the whole family tastes!

    • @arthurwatts1680
      @arthurwatts1680 10 місяців тому +4

      @@Juicexlx survival situation, I'll eat cockroaches but LENT isn't a survival situation !

    • @NiechoBGCSL
      @NiechoBGCSL 10 місяців тому +5

      ​@arthurwatts1680 Mind you, I'm a believer as well, but... it's never unusual to find religious leaders bending and "cherry picking" the rules for their convenience. It's just sad.

    • @blackeyedsusan727
      @blackeyedsusan727 10 місяців тому +4

      ​@@NiechoBGCSL They're not. Beaver meat was considered fish by the Medieval Church. So, the church has just gone back to those roots really. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Catholicism is a hodge podge of political decisions anyway so double 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @phthisis
    @phthisis 10 місяців тому +2

    5:27 Literally Chicken Parmigiana with pepperonis on top. What's next, a Big Mac with bacon and Krispy Kreme donuts for buns? What a unique concept that I'm sure has never existed before!

  • @witchypoorose5196
    @witchypoorose5196 10 місяців тому +5

    That Charlotte Web bit w/DTF was hilarious!
    Also: as gross as "chizza" sounds, when he brought it out, I noticed that it had VERY little cheese and WAY too much pepperoni.
    This made me incredibly angry!
    Seriously, it did!!
    🤬😂
    I mean I'll never order it/eat it, BUT: don't say that something is like pizza if you've barely put any mozzarella on it!!!!!

  • @MrsMacLover
    @MrsMacLover 10 місяців тому +25

    getting loosey goosey with the rules is tight!

  • @vindiesel1469
    @vindiesel1469 10 місяців тому +30

    Five signs of a pathological liar~
    • constantly changing their story, being vague.
    • telling lies for no reason, when the truth sounds better.
    • never accepting blame for their own failures.
    • taking credit for the success of others, Stolen valor.
    • repeating a known lie, over and over again, then getting defensive when confronted about it.

    • @silverchords1277
      @silverchords1277 10 місяців тому +15

      That's definitely Trump!

    • @rampagephoenix1735
      @rampagephoenix1735 10 місяців тому

      Basically, trump and his cult of freaks he calls his "Supporters".

    • @BaconTomatoCheese
      @BaconTomatoCheese 10 місяців тому +3

      @@silverchords1277 yup, what I was just about to say…

    • @Ceegee-pw8ne
      @Ceegee-pw8ne 10 місяців тому +2

      I've known a lot of pathological liars. I've never understood it. What's the point. In tfg's case he knows his followers will believe every lie he tells no matter how outrageous! Plus, his father told him to never admit to any wrong doing, just keep lying!

  • @StefaniaCzech
    @StefaniaCzech 10 місяців тому +1

    You got me at Subway Surfer Sex! LOL 😅

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 10 місяців тому +10

    Charlotte: you do you, girrrrrl.

  • @craven5328
    @craven5328 10 місяців тому +7

    Can't believe Stephen didn't use the lent segment to use the below in his joke
    "Looks like meats back on the menu boys!"

  • @jim2lane
    @jim2lane 10 місяців тому +2

    Yes, we were lied to about our cell phones interfering with the "safe operation of the aircraft". But one thing that Airplane Mode does do is ensure that all of the planes constantly flying by with hundreds of cell phones constantly scanning for the nearest cell phone tower don't overwhelm the cell phone networks

  • @RevLeigh55
    @RevLeigh55 10 місяців тому +3

    “Best case scenario”. Love it!

  • @The_Infamous_Boogyman
    @The_Infamous_Boogyman 10 місяців тому +4

    "Swim meat". Yup, grab that bbq sauce 😅

  • @positivevibetec
    @positivevibetec 10 місяців тому +14

    Is Stingray Jesus about to be born?
    That virgin stingray will be in shrines worldwide

    • @Stoutswiller
      @Stoutswiller 10 місяців тому +2

      Lots and lots of non-mammals have the equivalent of the Y chromosome on the female gene, so parthenogenesis might not even be very uncommon but we wouldn't ever guess unless it's something like an all-female group in captivity, or endangered species with no living males.

    • @Stoutswiller
      @Stoutswiller 10 місяців тому +1

      Foreshadowing for the upcoming Jurassic World reality show.

  • @HandyMan657
    @HandyMan657 10 місяців тому +5

    We used to run across the tops of trains, they go pretty slow when they come out of the tunnels. The objective was to cover as many cars as you could before it went back into the tunnel. But gettin down? That's ahhh. Yeah, alright.

  • @LadyTsunade777
    @LadyTsunade777 10 місяців тому +3

    To be fair, airplane mode does have a valid use: it'll stop your phone frantically searching for nonexistant signal at 30,000 feet up, thus saving battery life and making it so you can watch more in-flight movies.

  • @Maybe-d2e
    @Maybe-d2e 10 місяців тому +1

    Very funny tonight! Eyes still watering.😂 Thanks I needed that.

  • @ookamiblade6318
    @ookamiblade6318 10 місяців тому +5

    Ok, but I called parthenogenesis on the stingray back when the news first broke and somebody was insanely suggesting a shark daddy like that was possible. So where is my marine biology degree😂

  • @Ford_prefect_42
    @Ford_prefect_42 10 місяців тому +17

    We need more of the band! They're amazing

  • @antoineolivier1287
    @antoineolivier1287 10 місяців тому

    5:28 Best f****** way to annoy Italians if I ever saw one

  • @TSIRKLAND
    @TSIRKLAND 10 місяців тому +4

    I've had Chicken Parm' with mozzarella, and pepperoni on top. Not common, but not unheard of. KFC has simply made a fast-food version, and marketed it to the masses.

  • @GreyDryn
    @GreyDryn 10 місяців тому

    DTF in the web had me 💀 🤣🤣🤣

  • @chardington3412
    @chardington3412 10 місяців тому +7

    You must really have been hungry to put that in your mouth. Good thing there were no beavers around 🤣

    • @davidlundquist1979
      @davidlundquist1979 10 місяців тому +2

      Archer: Guys, are we seriously not doing "phrasing" anymore?

  • @JamesOfEarth
    @JamesOfEarth 10 місяців тому +1

    Legendary and trombone, words I never thought I’d hear.

  • @shawnshurtz9147
    @shawnshurtz9147 10 місяців тому +1

    The stupid and inconvenient rule is for cell companies. It hogs bandwidth from hundreds of cell towers. You're going 400 mph, and your phone is constantly switching towers. It overwhelms them. And you'd never get a reliable connection. They're also concerned about interference with ILS.

  • @autumbreeze1129
    @autumbreeze1129 10 місяців тому +6

    The Charlotte's Web joke made me laugh, but for a totally different reason.
    There's this old show (good God, OLD? That’s means I'M old) called DRAWN TOGETHER, a Comedy Central show that was a cartoon parody of reality shows like Big Brother and it is DEFINITELY for adults and immature teens.
    Anyway, there's an episode where one of the animated housemates, Spanky Ham, gets into a relationship with a VERY emotionally unstable Charlotte.
    Soon as the joke started, that's what popped into my head.
    I don't know if that's good or bad😅

    • @pace1719
      @pace1719 10 місяців тому +2

      Great show! You're not that old. I had to google what that clip actually meant. Lol

    • @perevision
      @perevision 10 місяців тому +2

      I love that show! Missed that episode though, seems like I missed out 😂

  • @grimwolf9988
    @grimwolf9988 10 місяців тому +1

    5:50 I love all the people going from cheering to gasping when they saw how gray and soggy the real thing was.

  • @js27-a5t
    @js27-a5t 10 місяців тому +2

    I love having people NOT on their phones while on the plane!

    • @KitC916
      @KitC916 10 місяців тому

      Heaven forbid, quiet

  • @realDunalTrimp
    @realDunalTrimp 10 місяців тому +2

    I love In Within The Meanwhile ❤

  • @deBASHmode
    @deBASHmode 10 місяців тому +1

    It’s true - rice crumbles and the dust gets into nooks and crannies in your phone. Free tip Wednesday: Best thing is to not get your phone wet. But, if it happens, bury the phone in a sealable bag or container of desiccant packets…you know, the little packets emblazoned “DO NOT EAT” that you see in shoe boxes, etc.

    • @michaelkottler
      @michaelkottler 10 місяців тому

      Finally someone besides myself states the correct method. A minor miracle. Worked in cell repair for a year and learned the ins and outs and yes: You are correct, sir!

  • @SpeckleKen
    @SpeckleKen 10 місяців тому +2

    Let's not forget that the Catholic Church said you could eat geese at Lent, because they are fish!
    The official line of the Church was that barnacle geese were hatched from barnacles: shellfish.
    (They later decided that - yes, geese were fish - but priests had to pretend they weren't because they were a bit duck-like, and stop eating them at Lent.) Religion: just filled with wisdom, isn't it?

  • @RogerHerzler
    @RogerHerzler 10 місяців тому +1

    The “DTF” in Charlotte’s web nearly made me spit oatmeal across the table. 😂😅😂😅

  • @theseinstrumentals
    @theseinstrumentals 10 місяців тому +5

    Alligators are fish lol, people are crazy

    • @dceplay
      @dceplay 10 місяців тому

      Reptiles last I checked....

  • @yurielcundangan9090
    @yurielcundangan9090 10 місяців тому +2

    Former president should be held accountable..

  • @charlotteinnocent8752
    @charlotteinnocent8752 10 місяців тому +2

    Air lines are correct of course. They also want people to listen to the safety announcement, and just as you say they skip it. Which is one of the top reasons when you get an emergency landing people who have been told NOT to take their luggage and handbags do exactly that, and because of it some passengers don't get off the plane in time.

  • @matthewschwartz6486
    @matthewschwartz6486 10 місяців тому +5

    That's just fast food chicken parm with pepperoni.

    • @nitro6002
      @nitro6002 10 місяців тому +2

      Whoops I saw your comment right after I posted mine, but yea that was exactly what I thought.

  • @Captain_Subpar
    @Captain_Subpar 10 місяців тому +16

    KFC: "Here's a Chicken Parm with pepperoni."
    Internet: "It's so crazy! Heart attacks!"

    • @petercolbeysgameshowmania7176
      @petercolbeysgameshowmania7176 10 місяців тому

      Me: Ooh, yum!

    • @shanimalcrossing4285
      @shanimalcrossing4285 10 місяців тому

      Chicken parm isn’t exactly healthy either though, it’s full of bad cholesterol which is linked to heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Processed meats, like pepperoni, are even Group 1 carcinogens (known to cause cancer) according to the World Health Organization - that’s in the same category as tobacco and asbestos! Most people don’t know that because meat and fast food companies sponsor everything and don’t want people to know about that.

    • @shanimalcrossing4285
      @shanimalcrossing4285 10 місяців тому

      Chicken parm isn't exactly healthy either though, it's full of cholesterol & saturated fat which is linked to heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Processed meats, like pepperoni, are even Group 1 carcinogens (known to cause cancer) according to the World Health Organization - that's in the same category as tobacco and asbestos! Most people don't know that because meat and fast food companies sponsor everything and don't want people to know about that.

    • @shanimalcrossing4285
      @shanimalcrossing4285 10 місяців тому

      Chicken parm isn't exactly healthy either though, it's full of cholesterol & saturated f@t which is linked to heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Processed meats, like pepperoni, are even Group 1 carcinogens (known to cause c*ncer) according to the World Health Organization - that's in the same category as t0bacco and asbestos! Most people don't know that because meat and fast food companies sponsor everything and don't want people to know about that for obvious financial reasons.

  • @gus.smedstad
    @gus.smedstad 10 місяців тому +5

    I know people balk at weird food but… Chizza looks fairly good. Seems like that stuff would go together well.

    • @organicgrains
      @organicgrains 10 місяців тому +2

      It's just southern fried chicken parm with pepperoni on it. Sure the pepperoni is odd, but I'm genuinely flummoxed as to why people think its a food crime. I would by no means eat it, but I wouldn't eat chicken parm either haha.

    • @gus.smedstad
      @gus.smedstad 10 місяців тому

      Good point. I've eaten chicken or veal parmesan plenty of times. It's not fried and the breading isn't so heavy, but Chizza is pretty similar to that.

  • @edeledeledel5490
    @edeledeledel5490 10 місяців тому +6

    Who would have thought Catholics would eat beaver...

    • @Ernwaldo
      @Ernwaldo 10 місяців тому

      Vatican approved form of birth control.

    • @haytguugle8656
      @haytguugle8656 10 місяців тому +1

      very nice, actually. especially if you shave it first.

    • @edeledeledel5490
      @edeledeledel5490 10 місяців тому +1

      @@haytguugle8656 What - get rid of the organic dental floss?

    • @edeledeledel5490
      @edeledeledel5490 10 місяців тому

      The whole thing smells a bit fishy to me.

    • @samwhite4131
      @samwhite4131 10 місяців тому

      Totally expected a beaver joke... Colbert kinda wiffed on that one

  • @thisbushnell2012
    @thisbushnell2012 10 місяців тому +2

    Absolutely best case scenario!

  • @manderic5436
    @manderic5436 10 місяців тому +1

    I am genuinely disappointed that they missed the best place for a Jurassic Park "Life finds a way" joke

  • @tselengbotlhole750
    @tselengbotlhole750 10 місяців тому +15

    Again if there is no raccoon in the intro of Meanwhile, I feel robbed 🤣🤣🤣

    • @j10001
      @j10001 10 місяців тому +1

      I feel robbed if there are no drugs or alcohol - a rarity for Meanwhile

  • @Ambsacefortune
    @Ambsacefortune 10 місяців тому +3

    i mean, the chizza is basically a low-grade chicken parmesan with pepperoni on top.

  • @sinisterminister6478
    @sinisterminister6478 10 місяців тому +1

    I can eat beaver during Lent? My wife will be ecstatic to hear that.😂

    • @dceplay
      @dceplay 10 місяців тому

      lmao

  • @landonewts
    @landonewts 10 місяців тому +1

    No! No eating Capybaras!

  • @lovetoloveyou12
    @lovetoloveyou12 10 місяців тому +5

    That chizza was giving pregnancy cravings

  • @arnulfg
    @arnulfg 10 місяців тому +2

    /facepalm_as_a_cardiologist😅

  • @ikebeckman1074
    @ikebeckman1074 10 місяців тому +6

    I bet the chizza tastes like a twisted chicken parm

  • @nanrod
    @nanrod 10 місяців тому +4

    Chicken Parmesan with a meat topping ... it's been done, although I prefer bacon to pepperoni

  • @Azerinth
    @Azerinth 10 місяців тому +2

    To be fair Chizza is just crispy Chicken Parmesan with pepperoni. Just served up a little different.

  • @chrisspain
    @chrisspain 10 місяців тому +1

    Very good meanwhile. Thank you. Bringing out the cheezza......🤣 Is there a way to measure how it shortens the time to the next heard attack?

  • @archive881
    @archive881 10 місяців тому

    Double Down VS. Chizza : Whoever wins, we lose!

  • @sanjuansteve
    @sanjuansteve 10 місяців тому +2

    I've also known for decades that airplane mode is useless.

    • @sanjuansteve
      @sanjuansteve 10 місяців тому

      How many near crashes caused by someone not in airplane mode have you ever heard about? LOL

  • @mattstyles2498
    @mattstyles2498 10 місяців тому +1

    1:42 starts meanwhile-ing

  • @juliettebobcat704
    @juliettebobcat704 10 місяців тому

    I should've known with the reference to Triads that it would get pretty dark. Wow, this was masterful from start to finish, and macabre!

  • @msantos7755
    @msantos7755 10 місяців тому

    Best case scenario. Yup!😂🎉

  • @BlestNekun
    @BlestNekun 10 місяців тому +1

    So.... if I drown a cow I can have a cheeseburger?
    😎🍻😎

  • @XSpImmaLion
    @XSpImmaLion 10 місяців тому

    The Airplane mode thing is so symbolic....
    It perfectly explains the wrong route countries took when they decided that it was better to treat it's citizens as the immature toddlers that they are, inventing convenient lies to eek any sort of civilized behavior out of them, rather than just asking for the obvious, and working to foster some sense of community and shared responsibility wherever it was needed.

  • @HigherMid
    @HigherMid 10 місяців тому +1

    KFC coulda stopped at the marinara sauce and market chicken marinara. Or maybe the cheese is ok and market chicken parm but a damn “Chi-zza” 😂😂☠️

  • @nonewsisgoodnews8443
    @nonewsisgoodnews8443 10 місяців тому +7

    I had to look up 'dtf' b4 I got the Charlotte joke....I'm pretty old

    • @laraq07
      @laraq07 10 місяців тому +1

      I looked it up too. I'm probably even older than you. ;)

    • @dianedenham5259
      @dianedenham5259 10 місяців тому +1

      I'm so old that I couldn't even be bothered. 😕

  • @JamesHaney
    @JamesHaney 10 місяців тому

    Stephen, the MEANWHILE intro has reached Von Neumann levels of self-generation! Well Done! 🖖♾

  • @leannearker
    @leannearker 10 місяців тому +4

    Best case scenario 😂

  • @michellejones83
    @michellejones83 10 місяців тому +5

    So KFC basically made fried chicken parm and added pepperoni. SMH

  • @Ariamaki
    @Ariamaki 10 місяців тому +1

    Having tried the Chizza, it's actually pretty solid: Sort of a pastaless chicken parm, if that makes sense? Might be worth a quick subway rooftop bang to pick one up, if the option is available.

  • @BeautyNeedsAWitness
    @BeautyNeedsAWitness 10 місяців тому +1

    Lol@"ground water poisoning burn pit"

  • @ChelseaRae-ew1mn
    @ChelseaRae-ew1mn 10 місяців тому

    Love you stephen❤❤

  • @o.c.kiddkidd5163
    @o.c.kiddkidd5163 10 місяців тому +1

    Chizza reminds me of the dish I conceived when watching Chevy Chase in the movie Seems Like Old Times, Aurora's Pepperoni Chicken!

  • @kristinn3367
    @kristinn3367 10 місяців тому

    I KNEW airplane mode was a scam. Not that I ever felt guilty about never putting my phone in airplane mode, but if I did, I would feel better now.