I was married to a psychopath who did this from day 1 it’s a form of grooming you like a slave, degrading you and withholding any thing that might make you feel loved or affection . Very calculated behaviour and evil. They are dangerous and crazy making people.
@@aamiyaijah6974 Same. The first 2 months were bliss, followed by virtually no affection/approval and literally ZERO compliments for the next 3.25 years. It made me feel HORRIBLE and insecure. And it was CONSTANT little criticisms nearly every single day, chipping away at my self-esteem until I was just a shell of myself. He always had me apologizing for things he should have been apologizing for -- it was BANANAS. And he could never, ever apologize or admit wrongdoing. Everything was ALWAYS entirely my fault. He'd even blame me for his bad behavior because I supposedly did something wrong that "made him do it." And he could never let anything go until you acknowledged him as correct about the argument or topic at hand. It was EXHAUSTING and traumatizing. My nervous system had to recover and rebalance for a few months after it was over. I'm still recovering mentally/emotionally from the psychological warfare abuse.
If you feel like a person doesn't, appreciate your presence, grace them with your absence,... Stop...letting ppl. tell you they don't want or appreciate you.....
His actions told me without any doubt that he didn't like my presence, a parte from sex time. So I told him and he didn't wanted to confirm, It was just my interpretation. But on and on he disrespect me all the time. I left and he didn't reached me out, so ....I was right though.
@@carolynmccraley1912 Oh, the solo crossing the street is a gib one with those vile creatures. My ex ended up getting a ticket bu the police for Jaywalking. I waited for the pedestrian light to change green but he was too cocky to wait with the rest of the people on the corner. I was smiling so hard, he was very mad, haha.
Mine too, finally I confronted him and suggested instead of walking to whatever destination together , let’s just agree to meet there at a certain time, then we can each go at our own time and route . He hated that because I think his purpose for walking ahead was to show dominance. I have since walked out the door to a new destination and he is not meeting me there .
Folks, if the person you are with does this, make sure you are always the one with the keys that drives, don't act like you are bothered. Just do what you want to do at the pace you want to go at. Don't tell them when you are going if you are done. Just take the car and leave. If they don't want to be seen with you, they don't have to go with you and they can find their own way home.
I thought I was crazy, overly sensitive, and insecure for finding my ex walking ahead of me all the time so frustrating and offensive. Thank you for this ❤
The slow walk behind is a telltale sign of a narcissist. It’s the most humiliating in my opinion because they are behind you looking at you with contempt and you don’t even realise it. My sister used to also do this and my mom was sick so we didn’t have time to mess around like this. Stay away from people that do these things it also creates stress hormones in you will make you sick
When all the tactics add up, yes, you can become physically drained to a horrific extent. I am not the dramatic type but the tactics can grind you down. I'd never allow them now. Boundaries and standards.
Very true. Stress creates sickness, disease, and weakens our immune system. It can leave so many scars mentally and physically. We can't play about our health. Toxic people have to go.
They walk behind you so they can look at other females of all ages and see where you’re looking so they don’t get caught! They can’t help themselves if they see a female they like to look at and will stare at them and they don’t want to be called out for staring.
Convert Nac, they do it because they have low self-esteem. They don't want to deal with the fact that people give you so much attention and they feel intimidated by your beauty. I was told this by 7 patients 😢.
@@Babygirl80572 It was never overt, directly acted out, or stated, but I always felt a covert energy of competition with him. Just the general energy. I never felt that in any of my other relationships. I'm 41 and have been in several healthy long term relationships. He's the only one I got this competitive energy with and it always made me feel uncomfortable like I couldn't relax.
I dated someone who always walked in front of me (in a city center). After a while, i ducked behind a monument, to see if he would spot me missing. NOPE. I just walked away... No idea at which point he noticed i was missing... => If it makes no actual difference whether i am present on the date/ or not : Why would i stay ???
Love it! The problem is some of us got tricked into a LTR where the mask slipped after you are living together or invested. But, if it's a date or casual dating it's best to turn around and go home! There's always a breaking poing even in LTR, I have also just left and I have a car, he didn't have one. Got home before him and he had to take public transport. Furious at me, sure but hey that was the beginning of the end for me at that point.
@@Heidi_137 Yes, how very true: The covert ones, that gradually change their behavior towards you are the truly difficult ones ... Because by that time you are not only trapped by logistics (such as living together), but also by your own feelings for that person. If its just a 1st or 2nd date, it is so much easier to let go. Best not to overly tolerate too much weird behavior in new people. Saves you so much heartache down the road. Good for you in getting out though!
Are you serious? That's too much work. Why work smarter and not harder and spend WAY more energy being a d*ckhead than being kind. 🙄. Ik some ppl just are REALLY stupid.
@@Seanus32 That's the crux of it. For the entire 3.5 years (other than the initial 2 months of love bombing) I always felt off balance. Never quite good enough. Never smooth flowing energy. Never mutually beneficial resolutions. Never any praise. Affection gradually dried away like a dead branch. I was always trying to please and looking for the smallest crumb of approval or affection. In retrospect, it's insane. But at the center of it ALL, the main thing was being made to feel off balance.
@@leapinglynx Precisely, the notorious highs and lows. Many fear being by themselves but it's actually a blessing when you've come through the torrent of abuse dished out. Self-regulating is fun and nothing is missing. Trust in the process and you'll be able to live a relatively enjoyable life.
The more I educate myself about narcissism, the more it validates my experience. I felt dumb and stupid every time I was with him. Now I understand better and have stopped blaming myself.
That's how I felt too, yet I never feel that way around other people. With him though, I always felt off balance, off kilter. Like I was ALWAYS doing/saying/thinking something wrong and couldn't relax. And he would do this very thing with walking way ahead. Told me he didn't believe I was trying to walk fast enough (I am tall with long legs and always walk very fast, I was going as fast as possible without breaking into a jog). When I tried to explain that it made me feel unsafe and it was rude, and I acted angry and got silent, he said it was unacceptable that I got upset about it around his family (I never said a word or made a scene, I just distanced myself from him). Somehow though, him leaving me in the dust and me pointing out that it's hurtful and makes me feel unsafe is all a ME problem. 🙄 He could never take accountability for ANYTHING, let alone care or apologize. It's actually shocking looking back. He did so much to antagonize passive aggressively and then blame me as "argumentative" for a perfectly normal reaction to the harm. He'd never admit anything was rude or hurtful, he'd only say I took "offense" and I was "offended" or "triggered." But whatever he did, he could weasel out of it by looking like the calm and rational one, even though the behavior was NOT normal or fair or considerate and would bother any woman. But he'd tell me I was the ONLY woman who had ever caused arguments with him in any of his relationships. I was the only person that was ever a problem. THE ONLY ONE EVER AND HE'S IN HIS 40's. Yet somehow, magically, none of my own relationships were ever like this. They were generally calm and normal and respectful. But I'm the problem?! Right. So glad it's over!
@@leapinglynx*Please do NOT believe you are the only woman who has a problem with a partner who refuses to walk next to you.* Pretty much all women would find this unpleasant.... unless THEY were ashamed to be seen with HIM as a partner 🤭 The women who DO object, may simply stop seeing him once they find out about his odd behavior - and not tell him the reason
Knowledge is power. While I was trying to understand my ex's behavior I learned a lot about my older sis too. She displayed the exact same behaviors. I never understood why shed get SO mad
My husband did this every single time and it never clicked until I added up all the NPD traits. I use to think “but I look gooood why is he trailing behind me?” I would also think “ he is leaving me to walk on my own, men will think that I’m on my own and they will approach me” I actually started to believe that he liked to watch other men admire & approach me. 🤯 Good riddance to these ppl honestly. It’s stressssss!
Omg this makes so much sense now! My ex has ALWAYS walked behind me! I’m a very attractive woman (not by what I wear) and I get approached a lot. He would always wait til they talk to be to boast that I’ve his wife. He also did the opposite telling me a woman tried to talk to him thinking I would get jealous…
It’s not because they want to see other men approach you. It’s to create stress, knock down your self-esteem, and make you feel less than. In my case, my ex was white and I’m Latina in his town in Australia they’re very racist. Even though I looked a 1000x better than these busted locals he was still embarrassed to be seen with me. When he got with a white woman that was shaped like an egg on sticks, he took her everywhere all the places the to wanted to go to and all this things I wanted to do. I hate these people they’re evil.
omg my baby father does this and i am considered really attractive , i could not understand. and yall saying husband ! oh lord i gotta move on . 🙏🏽 praying for yall ladies 😢
My Ex used to wait until the last minute to invite me to his family functions, so that I wouldn’t have enough time to get ready. Then, when he came back, he will try to knock me for not going with him. I realized that I was an embarrassment to him. Leaving him was one of the best decisions, I’ve ever made.
How do I know this isn’t about the man or woman walking to fast or maybe slow?? When they need to get somewhere they all of a sudden have speed walking skills.
Noticed my narc friend doing this, I'd be at the cashpoint or checkout, or looking at something, chatting away to him and he'd be ten feet up the road, stopped going out with him now, to much hassle 😂
Mine always walked ahead of me even when we were with people who knew we were married I usually had to practically run if I wanted to walk next to him and then he would act annoyed
Wow my ex used to walk in front of me all the time and I can’t believe this is actually a thing. I’m learning so much about my ex personality through your perspective and I really appreciate it. I can’t believe this is actually a thing!
Right! It's so funny how, years later, I learned how many of his most bizarre and confusing behaviors are just normal narc behavior. Walking ahead gives them yet another way to "prove" they are better and faster. It's sad to contemplate how sad and childish they are.
Its not bizzare when you study the bible and realise "they" are all the same with all the same traits. They have demons controlling their behaviours. Truth is stranger than fiction@@Seanus32
I am currently in a narcissistic relationship this video confirms it all 😅 I be in denial 😮 but this is crazy…He caught me watching your video’s and he started yelling at the screen as if you can hear him…Saying you are gay and you are not a doctor smh I love your content and keep exposing those demons….
Just yesterday I took my cousin to Chinatown NYC. For the whole time he was walking behind me and not paying attention to what I was saying. This is good info, I love to study the narc's body language. Now I know! Walking ahead or behind, a symptom. Take care everyone.
This behavior, broke my heart. At first I'd try catching up to him. Then one time I was chasing him around the store. I finally just broke down in the stores parking lot. I kinda knew he wanted to appear single. Now, a guy cuz that once, he's out!!! Almost 4yrs post narc, no contact. Moved, went dark!!!!
Some dislike themselves do much that they lose respect for us. Because we stay with someone of their caliber. My husband literally told me that the other day.
My ex narc always walked in front of me very fast, and it was always a power move a show of dominance. I would complain about it, and he didn’t care, and I remember trying to keep up with him. but I couldn’t, because he always walk faster… it became a thing between us, and it really bothered me…. Well, he’s all alone now, and probably will be for the rest of his life…
So true! This was definitely a thing for me. I was trying to keep up with him and my kids were trying to keep up with me. Nobody looking at us would identify us as a family. Because the reality of it was that we weren't.
@@Jessica_Lynn3007Sounds like my childhood, with my narcissistic mother striding ahead or going off and chatting to other people. I have a friend who does it and now I understand it's not my imagination.
it's also so they can pull faces behind you & roll their eyes & tut & huff & shrug their shoulders & wink & smile & signal to others to show them what the narc is putting up with being with you & what a basket case you are, so they walk behind / before you for flirting purposes, also for signalling to others "please rescue me from this loony toon"
Like magnets turned the wrong way… I had just married this man! We were walking through downtown and he used his 6’4” legs to my 5’4” legs to race ahead of me so i had to run to keep up with him. Seriously! The marriage lasted 9 months only because I was expecting. I couldn’t take care of a baby with this type of mess going on in the home. Darn!
@@veratday1973 God bless you and your little one. Pleased you got out of the "marriage" so quickly considering the circumstances. I am your height and my ex husband is 6 ft 2, almost as bad. He always sauntered ahead of me as if he was alone.
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him anymore other than him trying to manipulate me back but its SUCH a relief not to have to deal with this BULLSHIT ANYMORE.
Not only does my toxic husband do this, he's taught my two teenage boys to do so by example. Don't make the mistake I did. LEAVE before your kids learn all the toxic behaviors!
There's always a problem and then it always gets to be my fault No joy no happiness just a big problem Can't even get any d*** groceries or check out without walking around the store for half an hour looking for the person with the money
Facts! He always walked in front of me and said that I walk slowly. In the grocery store when I left him to checkout while I waited by the exit, he blamed leaving his wallet at the register on me. They never take accountability. They blame the reaction and not the action.
Thank you for bringing up this topic! I have a friend who's own adult children called her a narcissist. When she first told me, I agreed with her, "That's ridiculous!" But as time went on, I realized, "Oh wow! She actually is!" And this is something she does whenever we're out in public and there's crowds. It seems to be a power play. For the longest time I was just baffled. Eventually, I got so tired of it I told her I didn't want to renew my membership at the theme park we used to go to several times a year. I'm divorced from a narcissist, and I was drawn to a friendship with a narcissist. Ugh! I pray I break this pattern.
The narc I was married to did this and I would ask why is he behaving this way. I didn’t understand. Now I know this is another one of their stupid behaviors. 🤦🏽♀️
I watched this with Ben Affleck and Jen Gardner. They left a show at the 90 percent mark to avoid the crowds. He was miles in front of her. I knew he was jerk then. She is so pretty in person!
Even walking on a mountain trail with no one else around he would walk ahead or behind me. I would respectfully ask him to walk with me and he would tell me to keep his speed … 😂 needless to say we are now divorced
Yes! This is classic. Ex bf. Was out one time and he walked 10 yds ahead all afternoon talking to everyone else. When called him on it he laughed and said “you need to catch up”. He was constantly walking ahead and wouldn’t even look back to see if I was still there. So I decided I was out! Game over. Whew! I seriously dodged a bullet.
@stacierose1692 thank you 😊 I don't know why but I literally attract them like a moth to a flame I'm also in sales so they are everywhere all the time. One time I got shingles when I was in my 30's from the abuse of a coworker. I kept it a secret how he treated me because I kept saying to myself it's okay f that dude but it literally made me sick.
It's so true, every narcissistic is different, you just need to be aware of the similar characteristics, but they all display it differently and a different way...but what is the same, is how you feel, the way they treat you, make you feel crazy, chip at your self esteem...you feel horrible about yourself...
I had a female narcissist "friend" but not a friend, she would like to stand in front of me, to talk to other people so even while I was speaking to someone..she would sit in right front of me in the pew in church, and block my view...and she would ignore me and I know she saw me right there...talking to everyone else but I was invisible...but had no idea what I did, usually someone is just angry at you and there's a reason but it happens so often...exactly I don't know what their problem is....now I just walk away..with a laugh and smile 😂childish and stupid
I’d like to add that they do this also because you were out and someone could have said something to them or given them a look that they perceived as non-approval to them. Because they’re so insecure. Also they do this in my experience as a form of invalidating you making you feel less than them.
Lee I started doing the same. I did my own shopping and wouldnt shop near him as well. He didn't like that I did the same. This was before I learned about NPD. He started saying, you leave and dont stick by me. Lol only than he didnt like it. But he was ok doing it. I noticed it was strange but never figured it out until i got educated. Now it made sense. Including hiding items, so he can watch me looking for it.
@@kathyweekes1937 Its strange behavior I seen before. Once your educated on NPD, you see all the weird things they do. The hiding items was weird too. Lee touched down on it too. Covert Narcissist, but I think mine was Sadistic as well. It's a spectrum really. Each one has its different issues they pull.
Hiding items and watching you look for it?! OMG, that is dark! I had never heard of this before nor experienced it. Good to know though. A good subject to do a vid about.
@@Heidi_137 I caught on to that and stopped looking for anything he claimed to have lost. In the discard face, he was moving things around to get my attention to ask him where it was. Sometimes he'd set it near him to see if id notice than talk to him. Along with his fits knocking things over and wanting me to clean it up. I would leave the things there. I'd say, I'm not picking it up. He was not physically violent to me but emotionally yes 💯. Its similar to a child having a tantrum. Arrested Development behaviors..Glad I'm going into my third year Zero contact and moved on. I took over financially and had to move. He was sending the new supply and mother to harass me on my last property..I've moved on and its been better.
@paulad.4578 So much of what they do is bizarre and baffling. I didn't even realize he was a narcissist and made excuses for him. But now that it's over (after 3.5 years) and I'm learning all about it, I'm just shocked... It's not just that he has EVERYTHING on the big typical list of narcissistic behaviors/traits, but he has all of these strange little things that you'd never even think were more than individually odd quirks. Nope! Turns out THOUSANDS of them do these weird specific little things. It's actually a relief to know! Now we realize we all aren't crazy or overly sensitive, etc.
Thanks for giving insight on this, my narc would walk in front of me in public, at a fast pace. When we were at church we would walk side by side. His behavior made me feel less then. I know it wasn't my appearance because I would get lots of attention and compliments, and people would tell him you have a beautiful wife. I can't believe that I've experienced this. Watching your videos helps me to process the 40 years of my life with my narc husband. Thanks, Lee. keep doing what you're doing.
Mine did this EVERYWHERE. Always 10 steps ahead with the excuses ready when I said anything. Thank goodness I finally learned and walked away. It’s just another way to reject and dismiss you
You nailed it! This used to confused me so much. For years we hiked together very well. Then, he started either lagging behind or outdistancing me. He gave lame excuses about why. It was the beginning of the end.
On my last date with my narc ex, we went to the movies, and he wore his mirrored aviator sunglasses the entire time. I don’t know how he even managed to watch the movie, and he was doing his usual walking around by himself afterwards, so I grabbed his elbow and started guiding him as if he were blind. I was warning him about needing to step onto the escalator and guiding him around columns and stuff.😂 I’d had it with his sh1t, and that was the last time I ever saw him. He tried to contact me yet again this past February…it’s been 10 YEARS since we parted. 😂 These people are all running Satan’s software on their hard drives.
This is the acid test for anyone contemplating whether they are dealing with a narsacist or not. If someone doesn't want to walk with you, they think their better than you and want to appear available to someone they might meet because they are always on the prowl!
Hey Lee, thank you for speaking on this topic. I am surprised that I’m not the only one who’s been through this and that this is something that narcissistic partners do. My experience with one of my “toxic” partners is that when we would go out he would walk slowly, but somehow he wander off in front of me. He would keep his AirPods in both ears and he never wanted to take pictures or hold hands in public.
You are spot on I went through the same exact thing with my ex He would do things like that soon as we in a dangerous neighborhood at night and purposely walk slow just to tick me off and start a argument with me for walking too fast
My husband leaves me in the dust talking to myself every single time we go out. I'll be looking for him like dude fr wtf he says or I'm in a hurry don't want to be here all day or some other bs is annoying af they love antagonizing us
Haha this is so true for me,mine would always tell me to go and he will come after. When we went to the supermarket he would wait until I got to the cashier and then make a scene about the bill.The embarrassmet I endured was something else,the problem is I never knew at the time what I was dealing with. SMH
Happened to me all the time. His friends and family would always be like dang.. slow down, you leaving her or be the ones to question why he always talked to me so harshly. I got to the point where I would just stay in the car. Then I ended up leaving altogether and never looked back. Good riddance.
Walking behind and ahead (I've experienced both in romantic and friend/family relationships) may be for the narcissist to establish superiority over their victim. They're too good to walk beside you because that would mean you're on the same level.
We were on vacation and walked to dinner one evening and he was speed-walking in front of me, I though WTF is wrong with this 🤬. Once I caught up we sat at the bar and had a great evening. I just couldn't understand why he left me alone to walk by myself?
Thank you so much for this. This is something I never brought up but noticed. He always walked separately and usually ahead of me, just made me feel alone. I appreciate hearing your side of things bc it heals my heart. Blessings and much love.
He warned me when we were ‘ dating’ ( which was mainly indoors) that he don’t do the hand holding thing in public. And yep, he don’t. He walks ahead of me or behind. In the early days I asked him, cuz it really upset me! I use to grab his hand, he would sometimes take it but it felt arkward , so we usually drop hands quickly. When I asked him , He says he is protecting me or watching my butt lol! So now I race on or hang behind on purpose to ‘ appear single’ I no longer look to him to be publicly romantic. But indoors he is affectionate, pats me , touches me as I pass by. It’s weird, So now,I take what I get and don’t expect anything or need anything.
And that's a problem. He breadcrumbs you, thats the term btw and that's the sad part. He conditioned you to accept the bare minimum and diminished your true value. You are willing to accept anything , he brainwashed you to believe you don't deserve anything more than what he is giving you
My Narcissistic Ex Husband would walk in front of, or behind me, never with me. We went on Vacation one time, and our Shuttle dropped us off a little ways from our Hotel Door. We are walking with our Luggage, and People are sitting in their cars in a line waiting for Valet Service. Once my Husband sees that he has an Audience, he immediately starts walking really Slowly behind me. When I stop, turn around and look at him because he is so far behind me, he yells really loud "WHAT WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, MY BACK HURTS." I left him standing there and went into the Hotel. Not only was he Walking behind me, he tried to embarass me. He used the excuse that His "Back Hurt" the entire Vacation, and that is why he was Walking Behind Me.
My narc was so hideous looking, that even when we were standing right beside each other with no one around us for several yards, waiting to be seated at a restaurant for example, people still never thought we were a couple. They never could believe I was with him. So it’s pretty damn hilarious that he didn’t want to be seen with me and appear as single himself.
I didn't realize this was a part of it... I heard the same excuse... he said.."don't they say ladies first" "I'm watching from behind to protect you"..smh.. my response was, "How could you protect me when you're not next to me?
My ex would insist on coming with us to events, and then walk behind us. Me and three kids, him by himself. Or shopping, he would go to the mall with us, and not be a part of our family group. He later, would be in our room, instead of the living room.
My narcissist husband did this! He would walk fast ahead of me and my narcissist sister would always rush to get out if the car before me and walk far ahead of me like we weren't together. So very hurtful.
Oh my word I always wondered when he met me at the top of the path to come down to my house why he used to always walk so fast ahead of me it made me always feel stupid. Now i realize it is a common thing every narcissist does.
Something you said on this video has changed my life I am officially done with this relationship. You think this topic was stupid but actually it saved me I have been in this for 10yrs and now I'm convinced. Thanks
He did that to me 100 out of 100 times. At some point I felt offended enough to confront him. He denied ever doing it, and called me delusional. They (narcissists) come in all shapes and colours. He “found” me in the prime of my life. After 12 years of torture and abuse, I begged him to leave. That was 7 days after I got a massive brain tumour removed, and was diagnosed with stomach ulcers. I fell into deep depression, and PTSD. He was slowly killing me.
My dad and brother did this to me all the time when I was a little girl. We’d go skiing and I’d be struggling with my boots and skis 30 ft behind my bro and dad who would walk together. My skis were nearly the same size as me. They never offered to help or stopped to wait for me. They still do it to this day, not just if I go skiing with them, but in other places and ways that show they don’t respect me. They’re both narcissists with serial cheating issues and alcohol problems. Thank God for therapy.
Lee, you call all that behavior out! Your insight is helping me so much! I've been through this for four years with a narcissist and to a T he's done everything your videos talk about if only I hadn't wasted four years of my life
They do it with their kids too. Him walking way ahead and his 3 girls 2 metres behind. It's pretty sad it sums up the situation they always hunting and discarding at the same time. The ultimate in ungrateful for what they have, actively hate what they have.
Yes my ex narc used to do this it was annoying & frustrating, yes they would come out with some stupid excuse. I'd look at him & looked he was in another world weirdo 🤣🤣 Your funny in how you put things Lee 😂 your spot on in what your saying.
It actually DEPENDS on the surroundings... If it's random females he will actually hold my hand ..open doors..ALL the gentleman stuff ... leaving them with the IMPRESSION OF "I wish I had a man like that"...And for random guys he always introduces me as "THE WIFE"...but for his homies ..its "THE GIRL" ...when he pulls that walking Fast /Slack... I've learned to stop...veer off in another direction...dart into a store ( like in the mall)... He'll just look back and I want be there... Now... find me or nah 🤔🤷🏿♀️💯✌🏾😆😆😆
This happened to me too, too often. One time he opened the door for another woman and then let it slam in my face. I was so hurt, and felt so ugly. I wanted to leave, but we we’re celebrating my son’s Birthday who was still young at the time.
Crazy because this guy always accused me of not wanting to be seen because of his looks he always pointed out the obvious flaws on himself he’s 5”6 I’m 5”10 attractive he hated but loved it sickening I’m 2 weeks in “no contact” and I’m feeding it right back & he’s sick asf I’m getting calls now ✌🏾
Yes!! I always wondered why my Narcissistic mother would basically be running to walk ahead of me everywhere we went. We are no contact now. She always had to be in the front, never next to me or behind me. Even if its just us two, she HAS to be in front, along with her other narc traits, Triangulation, gaslighting,bullying etc.😮
Never question a narcissist why they're doing something, you're only going to hear something that benefits their image and will most likely demean your image for asking 😮. For the narcissist' it's all about image not reality.
My fiancee always insists on walking behind me. It drives me NUTS! And he knows it! Even with the shopping cart he stays directly BEHIND me! Even with our daughter in it! lol In my situation, I don't believe it's that he wants to appear single, I think he is ashamed or embarrassed of me for whatever reason! He also knows it makes me feel uncomfortable, I hate the feeling of someone behind me cause it causes my spidey senses to tingle, I don't know how to explain it, lol. Yep, he does like to antagonize me, wants me upset, can't stand to see me happy lol, but also because he thinks that means I care if he gets me upset/triggered, LOL!!
I was married to a psychopath who did this from day 1 it’s a form of grooming you like a slave, degrading you and withholding any thing that might make you feel loved or affection . Very calculated behaviour and evil. They are dangerous and crazy making people.
100 % totally
@@aamiyaijah6974 Same. The first 2 months were bliss, followed by virtually no affection/approval and literally ZERO compliments for the next 3.25 years. It made me feel HORRIBLE and insecure. And it was CONSTANT little criticisms nearly every single day, chipping away at my self-esteem until I was just a shell of myself. He always had me apologizing for things he should have been apologizing for -- it was BANANAS. And he could never, ever apologize or admit wrongdoing. Everything was ALWAYS entirely my fault. He'd even blame me for his bad behavior because I supposedly did something wrong that "made him do it." And he could never let anything go until you acknowledged him as correct about the argument or topic at hand. It was EXHAUSTING and traumatizing. My nervous system had to recover and rebalance for a few months after it was over. I'm still recovering mentally/emotionally from the psychological warfare abuse.
During love bombing he always made it a point to hold my hand, but after lol he always walked in front of me. Trifling, petty and childish.
🥴
Same!
Ditto!
It's to show superiority.
@melisentiapheiffer3034 I agree
If you feel like a person doesn't, appreciate your presence, grace them with your absence,... Stop...letting ppl. tell you they don't want or appreciate you.....
His actions told me without any doubt that he didn't like my presence, a parte from sex time.
So I told him and he didn't wanted to confirm, It was just my interpretation.
But on and on he disrespect me all the time.
I left and he didn't reached me out, so ....I was right though.
Mine says I walk too slow. He crosses the street ahead of me too.
@@carolynmccraley1912 Oh, the solo crossing the street is a gib one with those vile creatures. My ex ended up getting a ticket bu the police for Jaywalking. I waited for the pedestrian light to change green but he was too cocky to wait with the rest of the people on the corner. I was smiling so hard, he was very mad, haha.
Mine too, finally I confronted him and suggested instead of walking to whatever destination together , let’s just agree to meet there at a certain time, then we can each go at our own time and route . He hated that because I think his purpose for walking ahead was to show dominance. I have since walked out the door to a new destination and he is not meeting me there .
@@saladgirl2062 🎯🎯
Folks, if the person you are with does this, make sure you are always the one with the keys that drives, don't act like you are bothered. Just do what you want to do at the pace you want to go at. Don't tell them when you are going if you are done. Just take the car and leave. If they don't want to be seen with you, they don't have to go with you and they can find their own way home.
💯👌🏽
💯💯💯💯
Recipe for retaliation. Do not advise.
Spot on I bet your a fire or air sign ?
@dust17111 fire sign here and I started to do this once I realized what was going on. Bet he sped up then!
I thought I was crazy, overly sensitive, and insecure for finding my ex walking ahead of me all the time so frustrating and offensive. Thank you for this ❤
The slow walk behind is a telltale sign of a narcissist. It’s the most humiliating in my opinion because they are behind you looking at you with contempt and you don’t even realise it. My sister used to also do this and my mom was sick so we didn’t have time to mess around like this.
Stay away from people that do these things it also creates stress hormones in you will make you sick
When all the tactics add up, yes, you can become physically drained to a horrific extent. I am not the dramatic type but the tactics can grind you down. I'd never allow them now. Boundaries and standards.
Very true. Stress creates sickness, disease, and weakens our immune system. It can leave so many scars mentally and physically. We can't play about our health. Toxic people have to go.
Exactly.
100
They walk behind you so they can look at other females of all ages and see where you’re looking so they don’t get caught!
They can’t help themselves if they see a female they like to look at and will stare at them and they don’t want to be called out for staring.
Convert Nac, they do it because they have low self-esteem. They don't want to deal with the fact that people give you so much attention and they feel intimidated by your beauty. I was told this by 7 patients 😢.
EXACTLY!!!
Yep!
You outshine them
@@Babygirl80572 It was never overt, directly acted out, or stated, but I always felt a covert energy of competition with him. Just the general energy. I never felt that in any of my other relationships. I'm 41 and have been in several healthy long term relationships. He's the only one I got this competitive energy with and it always made me feel uncomfortable like I couldn't relax.
Facts
I think it is far more likely that they want to seem single so they can get attention from other "potential" supply/lovers.
I dated someone who always walked in front of me (in a city center). After a while, i ducked behind a monument, to see if he would spot me missing. NOPE. I just walked away... No idea at which point he noticed i was missing...
=> If it makes no actual difference whether i am present on the date/ or not : Why would i stay ???
Same
Love it! The problem is some of us got tricked into a LTR where the mask slipped after you are living together or invested. But, if it's a date or casual dating it's best to turn around and go home! There's always a breaking poing even in LTR, I have also just left and I have a car, he didn't have one. Got home before him and he had to take public transport. Furious at me, sure but hey that was the beginning of the end for me at that point.
@@Heidi_137 Yes, how very true: The covert ones, that gradually change their behavior towards you are the truly difficult ones ... Because by that time you are not only trapped by logistics (such as living together), but also by your own feelings for that person.
If its just a 1st or 2nd date, it is so much easier to let go. Best not to overly tolerate too much weird behavior in new people. Saves you so much heartache down the road.
Good for you in getting out though!
"It _could_ be true". Ugh. What a mind game. Why can't people just be kind, decent, loving and reciprocal?
Are you serious? That's too much work. Why work smarter and not harder and spend WAY more energy being a d*ckhead than being kind. 🙄. Ik some ppl just are REALLY stupid.
Agreed. It is not that hard but they make it seem like mission impossible.
That's too much like right. 🤷
Mine 100% walks in front of me. Especially when we’re shopping. Now I just duck out and disappear on him when he’s not looking. 🤣
THEY ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!
Total embarrassment
Its a form of control.
100%
It is indeed. Another tactic to throw you off balance. Unsettling BS.
@@Seanus32 That's the crux of it. For the entire 3.5 years (other than the initial 2 months of love bombing) I always felt off balance. Never quite good enough. Never smooth flowing energy. Never mutually beneficial resolutions. Never any praise. Affection gradually dried away like a dead branch. I was always trying to please and looking for the smallest crumb of approval or affection. In retrospect, it's insane. But at the center of it ALL, the main thing was being made to feel off balance.
@@leapinglynx Precisely, the notorious highs and lows. Many fear being by themselves but it's actually a blessing when you've come through the torrent of abuse dished out. Self-regulating is fun and nothing is missing. Trust in the process and you'll be able to live a relatively enjoyable life.
@@Seanus32 Thanks for the encouraging words! It helps to know we're not alone and can all relate to this nonsense. Hugs! ❤️🙏🏼
The more I educate myself about narcissism, the more it validates my experience. I felt dumb and stupid every time I was with him. Now I understand better and have stopped blaming myself.
That's key isn't it? Knowing not to blame yourself. That's really helped me too.
That's how I felt too, yet I never feel that way around other people. With him though, I always felt off balance, off kilter. Like I was ALWAYS doing/saying/thinking something wrong and couldn't relax. And he would do this very thing with walking way ahead. Told me he didn't believe I was trying to walk fast enough (I am tall with long legs and always walk very fast, I was going as fast as possible without breaking into a jog). When I tried to explain that it made me feel unsafe and it was rude, and I acted angry and got silent, he said it was unacceptable that I got upset about it around his family (I never said a word or made a scene, I just distanced myself from him). Somehow though, him leaving me in the dust and me pointing out that it's hurtful and makes me feel unsafe is all a ME problem. 🙄 He could never take accountability for ANYTHING, let alone care or apologize. It's actually shocking looking back.
He did so much to antagonize passive aggressively and then blame me as "argumentative" for a perfectly normal reaction to the harm. He'd never admit anything was rude or hurtful, he'd only say I took "offense" and I was "offended" or "triggered."
But whatever he did, he could weasel out of it by looking like the calm and rational one, even though the behavior was NOT normal or fair or considerate and would bother any woman. But he'd tell me I was the ONLY woman who had ever caused arguments with him in any of his relationships. I was the only person that was ever a problem.
THE ONLY ONE EVER AND HE'S IN HIS 40's.
Yet somehow, magically, none of my own relationships were ever like this. They were generally calm and normal and respectful. But I'm the problem?!
Right.
So glad it's over!
@@leapinglynx*Please do NOT believe you are the only woman who has a problem with a partner who refuses to walk next to you.*
Pretty much all women would find this unpleasant.... unless THEY were ashamed to be seen with HIM as a partner 🤭
The women who DO object, may simply stop seeing him once they find out about his odd behavior - and not tell him the reason
Knowledge is power. While I was trying to understand my ex's behavior I learned a lot about my older sis too. She displayed the exact same behaviors. I never understood why shed get SO mad
Wise choice. Someone who undermines you shouldn't have a place near you.
My husband did this every single time and it never clicked until I added up all the NPD traits. I use to think “but I look gooood why is he trailing behind me?” I would also think “ he is leaving me to walk on my own, men will think that I’m on my own and they will approach me” I actually started to believe that he liked to watch other men admire & approach me. 🤯 Good riddance to these ppl honestly. It’s stressssss!
same sis
Omg this makes so much sense now! My ex has ALWAYS walked behind me! I’m a very attractive woman (not by what I wear) and I get approached a lot. He would always wait til they talk to be to boast that I’ve his wife. He also did the opposite telling me a woman tried to talk to him thinking I would get jealous…
It’s not because they want to see other men approach you. It’s to create stress, knock down your self-esteem, and make you feel less than. In my case, my ex was white and I’m Latina in his town in Australia they’re very racist. Even though I looked a 1000x better than these busted locals he was still embarrassed to be seen with me.
When he got with a white woman that was shaped like an egg on sticks, he took her everywhere all the places the to wanted to go to and all this things I wanted to do. I hate these people they’re evil.
omg my baby father does this and i am considered really attractive , i could not understand. and yall saying husband ! oh lord i gotta move on . 🙏🏽 praying for yall ladies 😢
I had these same thoughts and wondered this with both my ex narcs! Their behavior is so contradicting to what they say and pretend to care about!
My Ex used to wait until the last minute to invite me to his family functions, so that I wouldn’t have enough time to get ready. Then, when he came back, he will try to knock me for not going with him. I realized that I was an embarrassment to him. Leaving him was one of the best decisions, I’ve ever made.
‼️‼️‼️
This is actually something we argue about constantly. Always left behind.
Dirty, very dirty. @@ginagem985
@ginagem985 stop wearing yours entirely if childishness such as that is going on. You're single is all I hear so leave that person and act like it!
Ugh. It's not that bad then, or you'd be doing anything you could to get away.
“You walk too slow” as he’s sprinting everywhere.. I’m over it now that we broke up… go on ahead 💨
💯
@@Julie-ns3vh mine to always sprinting
You all are narcissists. I slow down and the wife slows even more. She makes comments about being left behind as a means to control. That is fact.
How do I know this isn’t about the man or woman walking to fast or maybe slow?? When they need to get somewhere they all of a sudden have speed walking skills.
"Friends" do this as well. One of the first things you notice.
True! Had it happen with a longtime friend. Then I started to notice all the other narcissistic traits in this person.
@minoozolala 🎯
True
My aunt did this all the time. Always hurry in and out of the house, store and restaurant.
Noticed my narc friend doing this, I'd be at the cashpoint or checkout, or looking at something, chatting away to him and he'd be ten feet up the road, stopped going out with him now, to much hassle 😂
Mine always walked ahead of me even when we were with people who knew we were married
I usually had to practically run if I wanted to walk next to him and then he would act annoyed
@@sandyhill7116 hahahaha me too
Same here! It's amazing the similarities in the behavioral patterns 😅
Wow my ex used to walk in front of me all the time and I can’t believe this is actually a thing. I’m learning so much about my ex personality through your perspective and I really appreciate it. I can’t believe this is actually a thing!
It's like all these bozos have the same textbook. Bizarre clown world :(
Right! It's so funny how, years later, I learned how many of his most bizarre and confusing behaviors are just normal narc behavior. Walking ahead gives them yet another way to "prove" they are better and faster. It's sad to contemplate how sad and childish they are.
Its not bizzare when you study the bible and realise "they" are all the same with all the same traits. They have demons controlling their behaviours. Truth is stranger than fiction@@Seanus32
@@Seanus32 Right! Cut from the same cloth!!
@@rubberbiscuit99 Yep! Same here
I am currently in a narcissistic relationship this video confirms it all 😅 I be in denial 😮 but this is crazy…He caught me watching your video’s and he started yelling at the screen as if you can hear him…Saying you are gay and you are not a doctor smh I love your content and keep exposing those demons….
😅😅😅
Just yesterday I took my cousin to Chinatown NYC. For the whole time he was walking behind me and not paying attention to what I was saying.
This is good info, I love to study the narc's body language. Now I know! Walking ahead or behind, a symptom. Take care everyone.
This behavior, broke my heart. At first I'd try catching up to him. Then one time I was chasing him around the store. I finally just broke down in the stores parking lot. I kinda knew he wanted to appear single. Now, a guy cuz that once, he's out!!! Almost 4yrs post narc, no contact. Moved, went dark!!!!
I admire your strength. Quality of life matters. If your torch shines dim, life can get very hard. Bring back your power.
Some dislike themselves do much that they lose respect for us. Because we stay with someone of their caliber. My husband literally told me that the other day.
‼️‼️‼️
Yes my husband did this while grocery shopping, always disapearing or walking full speed ahead. 2 months no contact & I don't miss him at all.
I thought so. He was soooo childish. I decided to just let him go and move on. I know my worth.
The one I was with ALWAYS walked ahead of me. FAR ahead of me a lot of the time.
My ex narc always walked in front of me very fast, and it was always a power move a show of dominance. I would complain about it, and he didn’t care, and I remember trying to keep up with him. but I couldn’t, because he always walk faster… it became a thing between us, and it really bothered me…. Well, he’s all alone now, and probably will be for the rest of his life…
🎯🎯🎯
So true! This was definitely a thing for me. I was trying to keep up with him and my kids were trying to keep up with me. Nobody looking at us would identify us as a family. Because the reality of it was that we weren't.
@@Jessica_Lynn3007Sounds like my childhood, with my narcissistic mother striding ahead or going off and chatting to other people. I have a friend who does it and now I understand it's not my imagination.
it's also so they can pull faces behind you & roll their eyes & tut & huff & shrug their shoulders & wink & smile & signal to others to show them what the narc is putting up with being with you & what a basket case you are, so they walk behind / before you for flirting purposes, also for signalling to others "please rescue me from this loony toon"
Like magnets turned the wrong way… I had just married this man! We were walking through downtown and he used his 6’4” legs to my 5’4” legs to race ahead of me so i had to run to keep up with him. Seriously! The marriage lasted 9 months only because I was expecting. I couldn’t take care of a baby with this type of mess going on in the home. Darn!
Oh man
P.S. I did hear that he was observed doing this with his next wifey, so I guess I can relax a little: it wasn’t me.
@@veratday1973 God bless you and your little one. Pleased you got out of the "marriage" so quickly considering the circumstances. I am your height and my ex husband is 6 ft 2, almost as bad. He always sauntered ahead of me as if he was alone.
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him anymore other than him trying to manipulate me back but its SUCH a relief not to have to deal with this BULLSHIT ANYMORE.
Same lol to hell with him! Finally free and okay with it🤌💖
Not only does my toxic husband do this, he's taught my two teenage boys to do so by example. Don't make the mistake I did. LEAVE before your kids learn all the toxic behaviors!
100% true.
My narc kids dad did same he walked away ahead always from kids and me he would leave kids behind too.🐾
When I thought Ive learned it all , then I see another tactic revealed that I ignored all along , this is on point.
The hard part is when it catches you off guard. And later on you think about how messed up that was.
There's always a problem and then it always gets to be my fault No joy no happiness just a big problem Can't even get any d*** groceries or check out without walking around the store for half an hour looking for the person with the money
Facts! He always walked in front of me and said that I walk slowly. In the grocery store when I left him to checkout while I waited by the exit, he blamed leaving his wallet at the register on me. They never take accountability. They blame the reaction and not the action.
Thank you for bringing up this topic! I have a friend who's own adult children called her a narcissist. When she first told me, I agreed with her, "That's ridiculous!" But as time went on, I realized, "Oh wow! She actually is!" And this is something she does whenever we're out in public and there's crowds. It seems to be a power play. For the longest time I was just baffled. Eventually, I got so tired of it I told her I didn't want to renew my membership at the theme park we used to go to several times a year. I'm divorced from a narcissist, and I was drawn to a friendship with a narcissist. Ugh! I pray I break this pattern.
The narc I was married to did this and I would ask why is he behaving this way. I didn’t understand. Now I know this is another one of their stupid behaviors. 🤦🏽♀️
It's so much to learn about these people....dang!!
Yes but not really. Just remember when dealing with a Narc or toxic person, anything they do has an agenda. Simply put: just dont trust them.
I watched this with Ben Affleck and Jen Gardner. They left a show at the 90 percent mark to avoid the crowds. He was miles in front of her. I knew he was jerk then. She is so pretty in person!
I really don't like him, he has allot of narc attributes. I don't get it why any upscale woman would want him.
The timing of this video is crazy. Its like youre reading what is going on in my mind. Thanks for this video❤
A good ole dose of devaluation, triangulation with a sprinkle of neglect 😩
I completely CONCUR!!! 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
😂
Even walking on a mountain trail with no one else around he would walk ahead or behind me. I would respectfully ask him to walk with me and he would tell me to keep his speed … 😂 needless to say we are now divorced
True true they do not want friends to see them with you.
They are a waste of space. I experienced it but im home free now.
Sometimes they even leave you alone in the night in a city you have never been! THey walk all over the place leaving you vulnerable. SMH
Yes! My boyfriend took us down a dark dead end street in a bad end of town late at night. Was he trying to get me killed?
They build in the plausible deniability excuse to everything they do.
Yes! This is classic. Ex bf. Was out one time and he walked 10 yds ahead all afternoon talking to everyone else. When called him on it he laughed and said “you need to catch up”. He was constantly walking ahead and wouldn’t even look back to see if I was still there. So I decided I was out! Game over. Whew! I seriously dodged a bullet.
My ex boyfriend was the same exact way, i kept thinking i wasnt good enough to be with him or something but afterall, i pick literal losers
😭
@MentalHealness I'm learning that all these behaviors are abnormal and I'm working my way out of the situation.
@@MentalHealness this dude angers me so much I actually feel the urge to bite him. It's so strange and unhealthy.
@@LoveSelfFirst prayers 🙏 for your peace of mind, yes they aim to frustrate you he's an agent of chaos
@stacierose1692 thank you 😊
I don't know why but I literally attract them like a moth to a flame I'm also in sales so they are everywhere all the time. One time I got shingles when I was in my 30's from the abuse of a coworker. I kept it a secret how he treated me because I kept saying to myself it's okay f that dude but it literally made me sick.
It's so true, every narcissistic is different, you just need to be aware of the similar characteristics, but they all display it differently and a different way...but what is the same, is how you feel, the way they treat you, make you feel crazy, chip at your self esteem...you feel horrible about yourself...
I had a female narcissist "friend" but not a friend, she would like to stand in front of me, to talk to other people so even while I was speaking to someone..she would sit in right front of me in the pew in church, and block my view...and she would ignore me and I know she saw me right there...talking to everyone else but I was invisible...but had no idea what I did, usually someone is just angry at you and there's a reason but it happens so often...exactly I don't know what their problem is....now I just walk away..with a laugh and smile 😂childish and stupid
I’d like to add that they do this also because you were out and someone could have said something to them or given them a look that they perceived as non-approval to them. Because they’re so insecure. Also they do this in my experience as a form of invalidating you making you feel less than them.
Lee I started doing the same. I did my own shopping and wouldnt shop near him as well. He didn't like that I did the same. This was before I learned about NPD. He started saying, you leave and dont stick by me. Lol only than he didnt like it. But he was ok doing it. I noticed it was strange but never figured it out until i got educated. Now it made sense. Including hiding items, so he can watch me looking for it.
I experienced this also!
@@kathyweekes1937 Its strange behavior I seen before. Once your educated on NPD, you see all the weird things they do. The hiding items was weird too. Lee touched down on it too. Covert Narcissist, but I think mine was Sadistic as well. It's a spectrum really. Each one has its different issues they pull.
Hiding items and watching you look for it?! OMG, that is dark! I had never heard of this before nor experienced it. Good to know though. A good subject to do a vid about.
@@Heidi_137 I caught on to that and stopped looking for anything he claimed to have lost. In the discard face, he was moving things around to get my attention to ask him where it was. Sometimes he'd set it near him to see if id notice than talk to him. Along with his fits knocking things over and wanting me to clean it up. I would leave the things there. I'd say, I'm not picking it up. He was not physically violent to me but emotionally yes 💯. Its similar to a child having a tantrum. Arrested Development behaviors..Glad I'm going into my third year Zero contact and moved on. I took over financially and had to move. He was sending the new supply and mother to harass me on my last property..I've moved on and its been better.
This is so bizarre. Why would someone do that? So strange.
@paulad.4578 So much of what they do is bizarre and baffling. I didn't even realize he was a narcissist and made excuses for him. But now that it's over (after 3.5 years) and I'm learning all about it, I'm just shocked... It's not just that he has EVERYTHING on the big typical list of narcissistic behaviors/traits, but he has all of these strange little things that you'd never even think were more than individually odd quirks.
Nope! Turns out THOUSANDS of them do these weird specific little things. It's actually a relief to know! Now we realize we all aren't crazy or overly sensitive, etc.
Thanks for giving insight on this, my narc would walk in front of me in public, at a fast pace. When we were at church we would walk side by side. His behavior made me feel less then. I know it wasn't my appearance because I would get lots of attention and compliments, and people would tell him you have a beautiful wife. I can't believe that I've experienced this. Watching your videos helps me to process the 40 years of my life with my narc husband. Thanks, Lee. keep doing what you're doing.
Mine did this EVERYWHERE. Always 10 steps ahead with the excuses ready when I said anything. Thank goodness I finally learned and walked away. It’s just another way to reject and dismiss you
You nailed it! This used to confused me so much. For years we hiked together very well. Then, he started either lagging behind or outdistancing me. He gave lame excuses about why. It was the beginning of the end.
He would always act dumb when I’d point out that he’s walking slow behind me incase one of the girls he’s chatting online sees him
On my last date with my narc ex, we went to the movies, and he wore his mirrored aviator sunglasses the entire time. I don’t know how he even managed to watch the movie, and he was doing his usual walking around by himself afterwards, so I grabbed his elbow and started guiding him as if he were blind. I was warning him about needing to step onto the escalator and guiding him around columns and stuff.😂 I’d had it with his sh1t, and that was the last time I ever saw him. He tried to contact me yet again this past February…it’s been 10 YEARS since we parted. 😂 These people are all running Satan’s software on their hard drives.
Amen! Watch out for those narcissist demonic downloads!! There's WiFi everywhere these days!!
This is the acid test for anyone contemplating whether they are dealing with a narsacist or not. If someone doesn't want to walk with you, they think their better than you and want to appear available to someone they might meet because they are always on the prowl!
Hey Lee, thank you for speaking on this topic. I am surprised that I’m not the only one who’s been through this and that this is something that narcissistic partners do. My experience with one of my “toxic” partners is that when we would go out he would walk slowly, but somehow he wander off in front of me. He would keep his AirPods in both ears and he never wanted to take pictures or hold hands in public.
You are spot on I went through the same exact thing with my ex
He would do things like that soon as we in a dangerous neighborhood at night and purposely walk slow just to tick me off and start a argument with me for walking too fast
My husband leaves me in the dust talking to myself every single time we go out. I'll be looking for him like dude fr wtf he says or I'm in a hurry don't want to be here all day or some other bs is annoying af they love antagonizing us
Run away from him an never look back plain and simple simple
Haha this is so true for me,mine would always tell me to go and he will come after.
When we went to the supermarket he would wait until I got to the cashier and then make a scene about the bill.The embarrassmet I endured was something else,the problem is I never knew at the time what I was dealing with. SMH
NOT ANYMORE THANK GOD!!
Happened to me all the time. His friends and family would always be like dang.. slow down, you leaving her or be the ones to question why he always talked to me so harshly. I got to the point where I would just stay in the car. Then I ended up leaving altogether and never looked back. Good riddance.
Walking behind and ahead (I've experienced both in romantic and friend/family relationships) may be for the narcissist to establish superiority over their victim. They're too good to walk beside you because that would mean you're on the same level.
We were on vacation and walked to dinner one evening and he was speed-walking in front of me, I though WTF is wrong with this 🤬. Once I caught up we sat at the bar and had a great evening. I just couldn't understand why he left me alone to walk by myself?
Thank you so much for this. This is something I never brought up but noticed. He always walked separately and usually ahead of me, just made me feel alone. I appreciate hearing your side of things bc it heals my heart. Blessings and much love.
He warned me when we were ‘ dating’ ( which was mainly indoors) that he don’t do the hand holding thing in public.
And yep, he don’t.
He walks ahead of me or behind. In the early days I asked him, cuz it really upset me! I use to grab his hand, he would sometimes take it but it felt arkward , so we usually drop hands quickly. When I asked him , He says he is protecting me or watching my butt lol!
So now I race on or hang behind on purpose to ‘ appear single’ I no longer look to him to be publicly romantic.
But indoors he is affectionate, pats me , touches me as I pass by.
It’s weird,
So now,I take what I get and don’t expect anything or need anything.
And that's a problem. He breadcrumbs you, thats the term btw and that's the sad part. He conditioned you to accept the bare minimum and diminished your true value. You are willing to accept anything , he brainwashed you to believe you don't deserve anything more than what he is giving you
My Narcissistic Ex Husband would walk in front of, or behind me, never with me.
We went on Vacation one time, and our Shuttle dropped us off a little ways from our Hotel Door.
We are walking with our Luggage, and People are sitting in their cars in a line waiting for Valet Service. Once my Husband sees that he has an Audience, he immediately starts walking really Slowly behind me.
When I stop, turn around and look at him because he is so far behind me, he yells really loud "WHAT WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, MY BACK HURTS." I left him standing there and went into the Hotel. Not only was he Walking behind me, he tried to embarass me.
He used the excuse that His "Back Hurt" the entire Vacation, and that is why he was Walking Behind Me.
My narc was so hideous looking, that even when we were standing right beside each other with no one around us for several yards, waiting to be seated at a restaurant for example, people still never thought we were a couple. They never could believe I was with him. So it’s pretty damn hilarious that he didn’t want to be seen with me and appear as single himself.
I didn't realize this was a part of it... I heard the same excuse... he said.."don't they say ladies first" "I'm watching from behind to protect you"..smh.. my response was, "How could you protect me when you're not next to me?
Sometimes even sitting with you in public for a long time it's a problem for him
My ex would insist on coming with us to events, and then walk behind us. Me and three kids, him by himself. Or shopping, he would go to the mall with us, and not be a part of our family group.
He later, would be in our room, instead of the living room.
My narcissist husband did this! He would walk fast ahead of me and my narcissist sister would always rush to get out if the car before me and walk far ahead of me like we weren't together. So very hurtful.
Oh my word I always wondered when he met me at the top of the path to come down to my house why he used to always walk so fast ahead of me it made me always feel stupid. Now i realize it is a common thing every narcissist does.
Something you said on this video has changed my life I am officially done with this relationship. You think this topic was stupid but actually it saved me I have been in this for 10yrs and now I'm convinced. Thanks
He did that to me 100 out of 100 times. At some point I felt offended enough to confront him. He denied ever doing it, and called me delusional. They (narcissists) come in all shapes and colours. He “found” me in the prime of my life. After 12 years of torture and abuse, I begged him to leave. That was 7 days after I got a massive brain tumour removed, and was diagnosed with stomach ulcers. I fell into deep depression, and PTSD. He was slowly killing me.
Mine used to tell me the reason he used to walk wayyyyyy in front of me is because he’s a ‘lone wolf’ 😒
😩
@@itsniknotnic8132 🤮🤢
😂😂😂😂
@@NatzTalk the most ridiculous bs ever!
😂😂😂 what a looser he was!
My dad and brother did this to me all the time when I was a little girl. We’d go skiing and I’d be struggling with my boots and skis 30 ft behind my bro and dad who would walk together. My skis were nearly the same size as me. They never offered to help or stopped to wait for me. They still do it to this day, not just if I go skiing with them, but in other places and ways that show they don’t respect me. They’re both narcissists with serial cheating issues and alcohol problems.
Thank God for therapy.
Lee, you call all that behavior out! Your insight is helping me so much! I've been through this for four years with a narcissist and to a T he's done everything your videos talk about if only I hadn't wasted four years of my life
They do it with their kids too. Him walking way ahead and his 3 girls 2 metres behind. It's pretty sad it sums up the situation they always hunting and discarding at the same time. The ultimate in ungrateful for what they have, actively hate what they have.
I'm the wrong person to try and do this stuff with. Especially if I'm driving. You'll be stranded somewhere.
Yes my ex narc used to do this it was annoying & frustrating, yes they would come out with some stupid excuse. I'd look at him & looked he was in another world weirdo 🤣🤣
Your funny in how you put things Lee 😂 your spot on in what your saying.
It actually DEPENDS on the surroundings... If it's random females he will actually hold my hand ..open doors..ALL the gentleman stuff ... leaving them with the IMPRESSION OF "I wish I had a man like that"...And for random guys he always introduces me as "THE WIFE"...but for his homies ..its "THE GIRL" ...when he pulls that walking Fast /Slack... I've learned to stop...veer off in another direction...dart into a store ( like in the mall)... He'll just look back and I want be there... Now... find me or nah 🤔🤷🏿♀️💯✌🏾😆😆😆
This happened to me too, too often. One time he opened the door for another woman and then let it slam in my face. I was so hurt, and felt so ugly. I wanted to leave, but we we’re celebrating my son’s Birthday who was still young at the time.
Why do narcissists have such boredom? Do they not set goals and work on like getting somewhere in life on their own?
Even in a marriage, my narcissistic husband walks way in front of me. His excuse, “I just walk fast and you walk too slow.” It was textbook!
I notice they split poles also, I’m like why would you purposely go out of your way to go around a pole. They like division I assumed.
Crazy because this guy always accused me of not wanting to be seen because of his looks he always pointed out the obvious flaws on himself he’s 5”6 I’m 5”10 attractive he hated but loved it sickening I’m 2 weeks in “no contact” and I’m feeding it right back & he’s sick asf I’m getting calls now ✌🏾
Yes!! I always wondered why my Narcissistic mother would basically be running to walk ahead of me everywhere we went. We are no contact now. She always had to be in the front, never next to me or behind me. Even if its just us two, she HAS to be in front, along with her other narc traits, Triangulation, gaslighting,bullying etc.😮
😂 YOU SURE BE DEEP IN CHARACTER LEE, THE LOOK, EVERYTHING.......... YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO COMICAL!!!!!❤
My x-narc was quite the love bomber in the day. Lol He later loved being in that hurried walk ahead of me. It got so old.
Never question a narcissist why they're doing something, you're only going to hear something that benefits their image and will most likely demean your image for asking 😮. For the narcissist' it's all about image not reality.
The voice for the back of the pack speech got me rollin
😂right lol
My fiancee always insists on walking behind me. It drives me NUTS! And he knows it! Even with the shopping cart he stays directly BEHIND me! Even with our daughter in it! lol In my situation, I don't believe it's that he wants to appear single, I think he is ashamed or embarrassed of me for whatever reason! He also knows it makes me feel uncomfortable, I hate the feeling of someone behind me cause it causes my spidey senses to tingle, I don't know how to explain it, lol. Yep, he does like to antagonize me, wants me upset, can't stand to see me happy lol, but also because he thinks that means I care if he gets me upset/triggered, LOL!!
Spot on w this one!
Adds to the mental confusion, 😅
Yes! It's soo stupid,childness as hell. Leave or just deal.
So sad... 🥺
Agree