Is She Wrong For Calling Off The Wedding After Finding Out That Her Man Was Into Men In College?
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Is she wrong for calling off their wedding after her soon to be husband opened up to her about being with multiple men in college?
She was in the right. If you look up the statistics and listen to the experts ; bisexual men are so rare they almost don't exist. He's most likely gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but there are a lot of gay men who hide the fact behind marrying a woman or so that they can have children and they mess around behind their back. She's most likely gonna get used if she stays. Run, girl, RUN!
A lot of a bisexual men do exists MOST OF LGB ESPECIALLY MEN ARE BISEXUAL 😂😂😂😂😂
Is it possible that bisexual men are not rare, but that no one believes that they exist so they self report as straight or gay because their existence is not seen as legitimate by most of society?
I would use a different statistic altogether. Most women get HIV from men who sleep with men. Period.
I get what you are saying, I agree that she made the right choice but bi/pan men are not "rare". It heavily depends on culture but as far as I know from talking to them, black bi men are often closeted as straight because they fear homophobia, prejudice and violence from men that see them as "gay" OR they are closeted as gay because of hyper hypermasculinization of black males, a lot of women sees them as just gay or "feminine" and not a valuable partner. Its also hard to be gay and have sex with women enough to have a baby, so they are not really gay but yeah. It does happen that some of them just uses women for a cover and a baby machine and its so disgusting and heart breaking.
They used to say there was no such thing as bisexuality at all. A lot more white men have been coming out as bisexuals. Be that as it may, the seriousness of this woman’s need to protect her health is paramount to the conversation. The most important thing for her right now is getting tested regularly, as many times as her doctor recommends until she can be sure she has not contracted HIV.
AIDS spreads in silence and darkness and repression. It is a horrible illness from which no one should ever have to suffer. The fact that we still have people contracting HIV in a world with condoms, PREP pills, testing, and treatments is more sad than anything. And it is the result of shame, insecurity, and lies, just as it has always been.
It dont matter bout gay or bi.....it's the same thing they like sleeping with other men n she don't like that n thats ok
My ex husband would threaten to unalive me then say that I would never find a man like him again. Sir, I hope not.
Glad he’s your ex!!
Exac😂tly
Glad that he's your ex. I hope that she'll never end up with a guy like her fiance ever again because he doesn't seem very nice
When males say that to me, I just say "I hope I never meet another guy like you too"😹😹😹😹☺️😘👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾
Right! It’s like in customer service when rude customers say they’re never coming back and think it’s a threat. Like please, don’t! But they always do. 🙄😂
If you're going to reveal a truth about yourself to your partner, then you have to be ready for the fact that they may not accept it or choose to stay. They have the RIGHT to do so as an autonomous human being. "Being honest and vulnerable" with someone doesn't mean that they owe it to you to stay when presented with information like this.
Exactly
N he shouldn't have waited til a few days b4 thr wedding to tell her something like this. Lol like what
Preach!!! That’s the logic of narcs, the entitlement and getting angry because their beard doesn’t want to be with them is insane. Any woman would want you? Are you sure lmao?
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Absolutely!!!
Absolutely, even if her feelings might stem from homophobic culture, her feelings are still valid. And even if him hiding it from her was due to fear of homo/biphobia, dropping it on her like that just in time for a weeding when she's probably really nervous and such AND THEN DEMANDING being accepted its just so...
How are people overlooking that he waited until right before the marriage to be "vulnerable?" This is a conversation to have early, and if she's fine, whatever. However, he was hoping to get her emotionally invested, prior to explaining this history.
Yea it seems like he told on himself right before the wedding because he know somebody might attend and spill some secrets.
Yeah, so vulnerable he’s telling her she’ll never find someone like him and how desirable he is instead of caring about her and trying to assuage her fears.
Why does men’s “vulnerability” so often involve shouting
@Lilzki Yessss!! I know it's because they were taught, til this current generation, that the only emotions they could show were anger and apathy.
But we're talking about grown ass adults, its a totally different world and they need to put in the work to not have shouting be the main thing.
@@B.Harper7"taught"🙄
Why wait before the wedding? He been lied for so long. She did the right thing
l agree, he's been lyng to her for years
lol if he dropped this days before the wedding, it makes me think he would have dropped a bomb in a rushed whisper just before the "I do"s 😂
He thought he had her over a barrel 🤣. He thought there was NO WAY she would cancel everything so close to the wedding. # boy bye 👋 😅
@@Zzz-ff1npHe was hoping she'd be so pressed to get married and that she'd love him more than she loved herself and go with the flow. Smh
The way he is yelling at her is very telling. I hope she got away from him, and she's safe.
I can't stand it when a guy claims he's being "honest" after FINALLY divulging a secret he's been actively hiding. Um, sir, that's not honesty 😂
Exactly, tell that in the first 2 days, no problem, everyone gets to see each other on equal footing.
Right before the damn wedding???? No sir, you aren't being 'honest', you are either assuaging your own feelings to feel better, OR you did something on the bach trip and now you have to come clean to the woman you've been lying to.
He's making it about being bi, it's not. No sir don't spin it that way unless she started calling you slurs, which- she did not, we have video proof from YOU 😆
It's the fact HE LIED FOR SO DAMN LONG!
Exactly. You just got tired of lying.
@@ninaj.4885 exactly! 🎯
Withholding is tantamount to lying.
@@LadyAstarionAncunin Yes! My mom used to say "withholding information IS a lie" he was operating in deceit the whole time then got the nerve to get indignant when he "finally" started telling the truth 😂
You're allowed to be honest, but she's still allowed to not want to be with you anymore. You can choose your actions, but not your consequences.
@nikjonestravel Righttt? Yes ma'am
And him choosing to tell her then.... it feels bad for a bunch of reasons.
I am bisexual, monogamous, and engaged. My partner knew I was bi from the beginning. It's not something to hide. Him keeping secrets until the engagement raises the concern that he is keeping more secrets from her and maybe himself.
Gotta be honest from the jump. I'm not bi, but I am poly. If you are honest from the jump, it's not an issue. But I couldn't imagine keeping a secret like that from my partner for so long. That's 100% grounds for a break up.
Agreed! I would have an issue with him keeping secrets too.
Men are never bisexual- if anything, they just like to use women for domestic servitude and children, while they sleep with men on the side. Men like that ALWAYS end up being full gay by 40 or so, they ALWAYS cheat on their wives with men.
He felt like he had her hooked and waited to tell her. This information is something you tell someone within the first few dates.
I'm happy for you, I was rejected few times because Im pan, also heard a lot of nasty comments as well. But yeah there is no way around it, even If he was hiding because of fear of bi/homophobia she deserved to know who she's gonna marry and even if her decision was based in homophobia, her feelings were real so she made a good decision.
She’s in the right. Because if he’s gay he won’t be happy with her. And he’ll take it out on her.
And listen to his reaction. Even more of a reason to not stay with him.
He will. I dated someone that was in denial. Certain things I saw told me something was off and I left. Years later he's finally out of the closet. He hid it by being a womanizer/player but he really didn't like women.
Who said he's gay, he could be bi, added most people do questionable things behind closed doors
Fr so many of these dudes will stay with the woman for decades (have her raise his kids) and then leave once they’re ready for retirement and shack up with another man to live HIS ideal life. It’s not worth it, and let’s not even talk about the health risks.
@@mikesickle4021, He's gay so stop the 🧢.......Heterosexual men are not fking men behind closed doors. Why do men need to waste a woman's life with gaslighting like this? Is getting over on people the only motivation men have?
Why do people not understand bisexuality is a thing. It’s not hiding being gay. It’s not confusion. If anything is more “I’m attracted to a persons substance and what’s between their legs is irrelevant” people wilding like straight people don’t cheat…no wonder so many get blindsided
Firstly why the hell is he yelling at her and verbally attacking her. No woman wants that and Secondly it's not Homophobia in my opinion it's not being honest about your sexual history because they engaged so he has been keeping it a secret up until now.
Right! If she’s straight, she not attracted to bisexual men AND he lied about that!
Sometimes before men turn gay they go through a homophobic stage they do this to lesbians too they try to masculinize us and slap a label on anything having to do with money, success or an education as something they framed as man's work. A lot of times you'd be surprised how many lesbians are more open about their sexuality then gay men not all of them are dykes some of us are bi, some are lesbians but there celibate.
Some men don't realize how much more they corrupted society then women there cults a lot of them and they came here took over our churches and wondered why women stopped attending it.
There not of God they just think God will accept them but he won't it's a form of hatred to practice homophobia because bigotry is a form of hatred.
Hatred is a sin and he doesn't always forgive them for this because they lust after humans a lot more than women do so there under no authority to make judgements for God in his place. He bases each judgement individually with each soul that's why some of them lerk in limbo for awhile wondering why they dropped their soap.
Yeah, that's an issue. I've dated openly bi men before. No regrets. I'm friends with a few of them still.
I once dated a guy that only wanted me as a beard. Granted, we were kids at the time and he was living with his homophobia parents. So I give him grace. But I had enough self respect not to stay in that relationship and warn my best friend when he tried to get with her.
@@krh6239 thank u u aint lying
Yeah, I get that emotions were high but dude was just being scary and threatening, good that she left him. It was homophobia tho, he was hiding because of it, even if he's bi because he's black a lot of people just see him as gay and therefore he risks violence from men and rejection from women. Her decision was influenced by it too, many women wont date a black bi guy because they see him as to "feminine" therefore not the hyper-masculine stereotype so basically gay. Her feelings were still valid tho
“You’ll never find a man like me.” Sir, that’s the goal. That’s why we are breaking up. 🙄
The only reason you need to call off a wedding is you don’t want to marry that person. It doesn’t really matter why; it’s do you want to marry them yes or no? If no, then don’t because things will get a lot more complicated after you’re married.
Exactly, Even if her decision was based in homophobia, these are her feelings and her decision. She was right to do that.
Well said.
@@theroundestfrog7913 really homoaversion
So homophobia is OK. Vile.
@@Seagreengoat Heterosexual is also a sexual orientation. A heterosexual person wanting to date another heterosexual person isn’t homophobic, it’s their sexual orientation. What’s more, lying about your sexual orientation (or anything about yourself) to get into a relationship is wrong
I don’t like it when people tell their spouses something very heavy or life shattering before a big mile stone(the wedding). Because they believe their spouse won’t go anywhere, it’s like a trap. He didn’t tell her in the beginning of their relationship because he knew she would’ve left, so he waited until he thought she’d have no choice to leave. And then they act surprised when the spouse decides to leave.
Massive amounts of debt, a serious gambling addiction, sleeping with the opposite sex, hidden children ect. People wait till the last minute to say anything about these things and others knowing it’s a deal breaker but thinking a 30k party, years invested in the relationship and societal expectations might stop them from leaving.
True
They do that when you having their babies too. All of sudden you see who they truly are. My cousin comes to me all the time. She is young and her dude has a whole family back in Jamaica. He messed her up so much, and all she wanted was a family. 🙏🏽😞
He lied by omission about something big. She is allowed to have negative feelings about that. She feels tricked and lied to. Hiding your bisexuality is a major problem! He was not being vulnerable! He kept the secret until he felt like it was too late for her to leave. He was tricking her.
But men are allowed to be up in arms about women's body counts, but we can't care about a man's sexual past. Absolutely ridiculous.
This!! I just read a comment where someone was saying it’s biphobic and I am like how is it biphobic is there a thing like straight phobia too ? Because when there’s a man in question when it comes to sexuality people are quick to gaslight others with phobic this phobic that not caring about the woman in question.
Thank you! ❤
@@missrain5164 I think she is a bit phobic because of how extreme her reaction was, unfortunately, but I think the way he blew up at her says everything that needs to be said. He needs some therapy to learn to control his anger and to be a good partner to anyone. It would be best if he did tell partners he's bisexual or bicurious (because he might be straight and just experimented in college) for a number of reasons. For one, he can weed out anybody who isn't comfortable with that. For another, he can build trust when he shares that information because if his partner knows, that means he can't as easily maintain an affair on the side. And, it opens the dialogue to discuss if there may be STDs involved or testing needed before things move forward.
@@brassbucklesThere's NOTHING PHOBIC about not being attracted to someone that you're naturally just not into smh. If it was a straight man or women trying to force acceptance on a queer person are you going to call the queer person phobic?? Please be for real. He LIED and DECEIVED her. That's enough grounds to call off a wedding Bi man or not. He was manipulative and was so sure that he could trap her because the wedding was so close and she'd be too scared to call off a wedding, think about that instead.
@@atobiteadedunjoye1207 The deceit and his explosion are the issues here. He's a dumpster fire of a man for sure, but just because she's not the real problem, that doesn't mean she's a saint. Suppose he hadn't blown up at her and used his manipulative language while recording the whole situation for the internet. She was pretty enraged to find out he's been with men (and we can't be sure if he's even bi/gay, because some people do experiment when they are young to find out who they're into), and yet nothing about the man had changed. Only the information she had has changed. I'm not defending him. He needs to work on himself for sure. But I'm not going to defend her, either.
I didn't say his hiding the info was right, because I don't think it was. His actions are worse than hers overall.
I never said she should accept him; in other comments I outright said it's good for both of them that the wedding is off--especially so for her, because he seems too immature and potentially dangerous to be with anyone. And I also said he should have told her much sooner, and should tell other partners early on in the future to avoid this sort of thing. And I said that the man needs therapy because he clearly has issues with anger.
I usually don't comment on these videos but his "ANY woman would want a MAN like ME!" has me cackling.
No sir, I don't think we do ^_^
😂 I sat up and said, out loud, to no one but my walls. "As a woman, I'd like to say, absofreakinglutely NOT!"
Why he even say something? Because someone threaten to tell her if he did not. There is no other reason for him to even say something at this time. He owe somebody something, 🤔😔
I would not yell with a man like this. I would be afraid for my life.
She is emotional and that's okay. He could have possibly infected her. She has every right to react, women aren't robots. Let's stop ✋️
@@evaeve2152 what are you talking about? We're saying it's dangerous. The guy can acutually unalive you. Statistics about women breaking up with and starting to engage in a fight are telling. NEVER break up with a male like thag and NEVER argue. Just move on.
@tanishalavri3278 I get what you mean, but we have to give grace and remember we can react even if it wasn't a part of our plan. That could be her trigger
You’re right my ex almost unalived me last year because I tried I wanted to break up with him he started yelling and when I tried to walk away that’s when he struck ! I lowkey think he was bisexual too and just wasn’t ready to come out
@@meababy5409 they always try to persuade you to stay, and what’s horrible to me is that women end up having to have secs with them again until it’s safe for them to leave and that to me is a form of graping. You know this woman doesn’t wanna be with you and you’re not gonna be able to keep her so you’re either gonna unalive her or force her to keep having secs with you and that sucks. Wtf is wrong with men and even broken women that would want someone after they’ve expressed that they don’t want you? I get that men will keep coming back testing the waters because they’re narcs but, men need to let women and others leave when they want.
Telling her few days before the wedding is manipulative AF. He should have told her before the engagement!
This is the old, "We don't tell you the truth because you can't handle the truth" kinda situation. No, sir. You can't deal with our response to your truth, which is leave yall tf alone.
Sexual history should always be discussed prior to causal or serious relationships.
Ppl who call themselves liberal or progressive love to talk about consent but then say you dont have to disclose if you are trans or bi or if u have or had a STD.
You are literally taking away a person's consent to make an informed decision.
Wanting proper disclosure isnt phobia.
Also her own safety. Men who do this don’t care if they give you an STD
Any man who cheats doesn't care if he gives you an STD.
On another episode of why you should stay single. I can't with these men.
Aren't we on episode 1 million of why to stay single 🤷♀️
@@iamoverit4905 my dear!!!! I am sure we are and I am grateful they keep coming. To remind us that it's treacherous out here.
💯
It said AN AFFAIR which means cheating and it doesnt matter the gender on that one or when it happened. If it was cheating and he's using homophobia to try to shame her?? As a bi person that is so gross!! Then the way he was yelling at her like... no that sounded threatening and I absolutely aint taking that chance.
Also from the video he clearly recorded it and I would assume posted it... so he is trying the shame/force her on this via public shaming. He showed her face but never got on the recording her saying what he was implying. The most we got was "go back to your best friend" so it sounds like he was cheating on her with his best friend so then you have to ask is this best friend like a groomsman?? Like the vibes of this whole thing are so off.
There are so many layers to that clip that I'm honestly not even sure it's real. Yes, she is being phobic, but if the caption is right there was cheating. And maybe it was early on and he thought it was OK to date around at the time, but... uh, cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter if it's past and he never intends to cheat again. She needs to get tested.
The yelling is my main issue here.
You're not obligated to tell people about your past partners, except if there's something like STDs, debt, problem exes, or children involved. But it seems pretty important to let someone know if you're bisexual, pansexual, or even asexual if you're getting into a relationship with them, so they know what to expect. Bisexuals can be monogamous, but if someone's bisexual or pansexual and doesn't tell their monogamous partner, that looks suspiciously like they're hoping to cheat with someone on the side. Maybe that's not the plan, and maybe they think their partner's so chill about LGBTQ stuff that it's not going to be an issue. Hard to say why people think the way they do, but some things are important to discuss out of respect.
My man is bisexual and in that situation I would’ve still called off the wedding. Not because of who he is about his preferences but simply the fact that he should’ve disclosed this from the beginning, not now days before the wedding. And he knew that, he tried to trap her into accepting him instead of being honest from the start. What else is he hiding waiting for the right moment for him?
Same here. My guy told me before we got intimate in any way. This dude definitely tried to trap her and I'm so proud of her for leaving
10000% the timing just screams that he is trickle truthing (only giving lil bits of truth at a time) and that he was about to tell her something that happened at the bach!!!!!
I bet he was waiting to see how she'd react, and it was NOT WHAT HE THOUGHT 🤣 so now he's all pressed and over reacting.
Guarantee something happened and he was trying to tell her and if she said oh okay to the college thing, he would have told her the ACTUAL bad news.
Oooh like hey I've continued those Affairs on you in college until this day or some shit!!!
Called if off not my cup of tea every time I looked at him visuals would override everything nope nope nope! The ones that would knowingly accept that risking disease and now it’s on the rise men having ring worms in their derrières’
Hold on y’all have bisexual men?
For the love of God, why⁉️
“Go ahead and try and throw me away..”
“Alright bet. I will” 😂😂😂
He was honest with her after the fact. That is something you talk about early in the relationship. He clearly waited until she as comfortable and he secured his beard to come out.
Throw it away 🚮
What I just saw and heard was a clearly gay man and I don’t understand how that relationship made it that far. The fact that he doesn’t accept that he’s gay and somehow expects her to is insane. He hid this information because he knew she would have a problem with it. And his crazy azz actually thinks women want him, sir we don’t want a gay man leave us alone.
Why is he screaming like Will Smith? " Any woman would want a man like me!" Lol men drop is for less.
She’s allowed to call off her wedding for any reason! And women are allowed to not like men who also like men.
Dating is exclusionary. You don’t have to accept everyone and can exclude anyone for any reason.
I personally would call it off too. And don’t no one come to me saying I’m being bi phobic. No mam.. women dont have to accept men who engage with other men. We are allowed to say no, I don’t want you date you.
Agree conpletely. Romantic relationships are one area where folks need to accept other people's boundaries and just move on.
Well said ❤
Preach!!! I have gay friends that say they don’t date bi men but it’s only women that get shamed for not wanting the same. Seems women are the only ones not allowed to fully define our sexuality and the bulk of the accusations come from other women, especially black women! No thanks, this is my sexuality we are talking about, I will not force myself to be with men who are into other men.
I love how you said this!! Facts!!
Thank you. We do not owe anyone an explanation, they are not entitled to our time and intimacy.
I'm also bisexual. Hiding this from a man, or a woman, is not only dangerous, but irresponsible, immature, and cruel. You do NOT let people fall in love with you under false pretenses. That is THE recipe for trauma.
Thank you. ❤
💯 agree!
Facts! If you struggle with transparency, you're not ready for a relationship.
When people start shouting, telling you it's not over, that you cannot leave, or that you'll never find anyone else, you are in abusive territory. This man is dangerous and frightening. Who wants to be with a person that speaks to them like this?
When he leaves with a man, they will say that she knew better.
Hmmmhmmm
"but he warned you"
THIS!!!!! They want us to be accountable and "choose better" until it goes against them.
“Any woman would want a man like me” sounds like he talking to himself.
I could see myself calling shit off if truth was hidden from me until days before our wedding. No matter the sexuality, preference, etc. I don’t do lying or hiding the truth.
Im so glad she called the wedding off. Stay out the casket full of diseases, betrayal, etc.
The sound of his voice and body movements says it all
Call the wedding off. I can tell you as someone who was a beard.... If hes admitting to a few, there's a lot more. And her marriage would lack intimacy cause he's attracted to dudes. Literally happened to me. And luckily I got out without catching anything.
What does this mean, being a beard ?
@@Jaqlin1979 it's when a man will be with you to appear hetero. But he really likes males
@@Jaqlin1979the woman is the covering for the man to "save face" or hide he is not straight.
It's why it's a shock when family men come out as trash or gay after 30 years of marriage. He deceived them the entire time.
@@Jaqlin1979being used by a man to cover up his sexuality . in other words a gay man not wanting to come out and pretending to be straight by marrying a woman
He dates and marries women to appear heterosexual, even having children with them. Men who do this typically don’t want people to know that they are gay so having a woman with them or sleeping with so many women will make them seem more straight. That’s a beard-just like beards make a man look more manly to some people, so does having a woman on their arm.
Cant help but wonder if she would get this backlash if she weren't a BW. Cause the way ppl move in these internet streets....they see BW having any form of preference or standard as a personal insult. I think it stems from ppl thinking BW should be grateful with whatever is thrown their way.
This!!! 🎯🎯🎯
That’s exactly what it is!
Extra pale glow in the dark white girl here. A man tried this on me and people freaked that I didn't want a homo or bi dude. I think it depends on the city you are in how people react. The internet highlights nasty reactions towards the wronged party because it get more engagement and the algorithms promote whatever gets engagement. But I'm comparing my irl experience to the internet's reaction to her so her shit is so much more public and crazy stressful.
That’s a dang shame.
This also goes for Caribbean women too, like, come on, you can’t expect us to BACK DOWN FROM A SECRET LIKE THIS?!
You can’t omit something this huge…
I don’t consider this homophobia or bi anything if you CHOOSE to NEVER TELL me the truth of your orientation. If you are honest from the start, I could care less.
This sounds like a Tyler Perry movie 🎬. I hear the sass and semen in his voice. He literally just confirmed her decision .
"I hear the sass and semen in his voice" Lolololololololol I hear it too!
Omg 😂
If she doesn't leave him for him not being honest about his sexual history, she should leave him for the way his talking to her (and mindset - listen to his words).
If she doesn't leave him for the way his talking to her, she should leave him for deciding to record their argument.
Periodt!
Yet, I'm glad he was the one recording it. He was tryna set her up.
I met a guy that seemed to be a little too flattered that a gay man stared at him in the gym.
He went on and on about it. And even took me to his gym and showed me. I immediately left him alone. That was way too much for me😂
She had every right
He only told her 2 days before the wedding because he HAD to. There were already problems....
Trying to bully her into accepting his homosexuality. The nerve!! His abusive and manipulative!!
He trying to force her to be his beard.🧔🏾♀️
THIS part!!!!!!!!
There’s nothing wrong with being bi. It’s the secrets and the yelling and the potential stds that are the issue. Sexuality isn’t something you choose to accept, just like you can’t choose to accept the sky is blue
Exactly. Why don't people just date and marry people with the same orientation? Why would a heterosexual woman be shamed into being with a man who is not heterosexual? This is so backwards.
@@meganmoney3479to YOU, bisexuality is okay. To some, it's not. Everyone has different beliefs and preferences, everyone has the right to choose. Informed choices require knowledge...he should have told her at the onset.
“Any woman would want a man like me” sounds like he talking to himself.
I’m bisexual and I’ve had men stop talking to me during the dating stage. I’m not abt to stand by a double standard and say this woman cant leave.
I could see myself calling shit off if truth was hidden from me until days before our wedding.
Being honest and vulnerable does not eliminate you from the consequences
He isn't helping himself with that hostile response.
No she isn't wrong, he lied. And his reaction in the video told her everything she needed to know. He's emotionally unstable, childish and comes off very feminine.
She better get checked for STDs. And why tf is he yelling? Does he think that helps his case.
It's only an issue when the preference isn't them. Then, you're not allowed to have a preference. Go figure 🙄
He should have been honest from the start of the relationship. He waited until she was invested and in love to disclose. She is within her right to choose what she wants. He also says 'several men' not a one time thing. Even so, I couldn't do it.
This is why dating is so important
What world have we entered? So, now women are supposed to be ok with men saying *anything* because they are “being vulnerable”? What if he said he k*lled someone or that he likes children? Was she supposed to keep the engagement then too? Y’all are taking it too far. The only reason he told her is because he’s trying to normalize it because he plans to do it again.
This whole "being vulnerable and open" is just another way to guilt trip women into putting up with their bs. Again. They always coming up with ways to put their responsibilities onto women
@@divestdreamer big facts. It’s all manipulation
@PaperMario64 YESSS and I said above that he's trying to make it about him being bi, when it's about the fact he lied.
He LIED about something so integral to his life, for the entirety of their relationship!
What the hell else is she supposed to do, wait around to figure out what else he's been lying about?
Nothing wrong with him, but you tell ppl that up front, and don't lie.
He's saying "Oh i was vulnerable" when he should have said "I lied to my fiance about a big part of me until RIGHT BEFORE our wedding...... for no reason at all..... ignore that I chose to do this right now"
🙄🙄🙄
A guy saying he's been bicurious or is bisexual is a completely different thing from inflicting harm on others. The key things here are the caption about "affairs," meaning the couple might've been together when he did this, and that he didn't tell her beforehand.
He never had to tell her who he was with or how many, but it's important that she knows he might be into other men. He should've told her before as a matter of good faith, since it's harder for him to have secret same-sex affairs if she knows he might be into other men, and because it opens the dialogue about whether he has STDs/whether she needs to be tested.
The bigger problem is how he blows up at her afterward. He's hurt, but that's not an excuse. If she's that angry over this, then they both need to step back. A discussion can be had later when they're both calmer. This is not a guy who needs to marry anyone.
Shes not homophobic for not wanting to be with a liar. Because this is a conversation to have in the BEGINNING of a relationship. The fact that he lied and then verbally abuses her for having a reaction to shocking news. You should always be honest not just when you please to be. She has every right to react the way she did. He on the other hand has no right to yell at her and call her homophobic.
Once bitten, twice shy. He is NOT going to tell the next woman his truth because for whatever reason he will choose to hold it in for fear of rejection. In the other hand, he will not tell the newer woman WHEN, not if, he has lusts for a man. She was one thousand percent right and you have to let people have their preferences.
I mean *this* is a potential viral video of him telling this women that he posted to tiktok that we are now viewing on UA-cam - so the cat is out of the bag whether he likes it or not. And more power to it because people have a right to know early in the relationship what someone’s preferences are and if they are comfortable with that.
Can you image taking a secret like that to the grave? Slept with multiple in college! Males are evil. I'm staying single.
He has a right to his preferences and we have a right to not want him.
When he waited till they were about to get married to be vulnerable not earlier when she wasnt about to get married to him when they were just talking .
No, she’s not wrong because he could turn back to that while he’s with her - like most of them do. She’s already at risk for HIV and AIDS, even more because he was with men. She needs to go get tested now and for the next 10 years
Oh the deception and audacity! He deliberately waited until the wedding to tell her because he was hoping that she would be too desperate and invested to not accept him for who he really is.
Male past matters, glad she broke up.
Had an affair implies he cheated with these men. And THAT is why i would call it off. Not because he likes men but the lying and cheating.
I would definitely call off the wedding a lot of women catch uncured diseases from this.
🤔He shouldve been honest about his sexuality from the start of the relationship. You dont wait until the week of your wedding to tell your partner that youre bisexual. He purposely hid it and thats him consciously being dishonest. He thought that if he was to be honest at the last minute she wouldnt call of the wedding.
Exactly! He thought she would be desperate but she chose herself.
I will leave too
Woo, his mask slipped, fell, and shattered.
It's not about his past history per se, but about the way he saved it up and dropped it on her right before the wedding.
He was testing her and 💯 he's not done with his "phase" yet.
Or, he feels sh@me, which is hella dangerous for a m@n and indicates potential for v10lence later.
Otherwise he would have been honest from the beginning.
She dodged a terrifying situation, being legally bound to a man who is capable of scheming and can't control his temper.
I say this as a openly queer pansexual woman.
An*
Yup I’m queer myself and women have to be especially careful in any situation when tying herself to a man. I don’t blame her at all and he’s a weirdo for screaming and recording her like that.
It also appears like he cheated on her with men
"Any woman would want a men like this". At that point I don't care what the argument was and I completely agree with her calling off the wedding
Telling the truth IT IS NOT a pass for whatever truth you're telling! When will people learn that.
Telling the truth is simply the RIGHT THING TO DO!!!
I'm a 🏳️🌈 woman.
One doesn't start a marriage on a lie about something this fundamental. He waited for the eve of their wedding to disclose such information.
He tried to take awy her choice and informed consent. That's not something to start a marriage on.
His anger and "you will not find another man..." is showing his true self. He wasn't being vulnerable, he was being manipulative and self victimising.
I don't see what his problem is. Now, he is free to go and be with as many of his bros as he wants. He should be happy. 😂😂
This led me to believe alpha males and podcast bros are closeted gays in denial.
I’d call off the wedding too since it wasn’t just one man, it was multiple so I l’d think in that situation that he actually prefers men over women and wants to use a woman as a cover honestly. I think he should go and live his truth and leave women out of it low-key 😅
Yall know bisexuality exists right?
@@charliedeegan1598but he denies being one.
@@charliedeegan1598sure do. It’s also a spectrum as well… he may be emotionally/romantically attracted to her, but sexually attracted to & satisfied by men.
Again. Any person can say no to marrying someone if shit feels off.
@@galaxylucia1898 True. They may not be compatible in the long run. That why it’s better to just call it off.
@@charliedeegan1598 we're allowed to say no, for any reason. Idgaf 🤷♀️
A lie by omission is still a lie. She's got the right to call off the wedding, but he's got the right to be who he is, too. I can understand this being a deal breaker for some. Being bisexual doesn't mean the person in question will automatically cheat.
I don’t think she did anything wrong. I am not romantically attracted to men who have sex with men. You can’t take a choice from somebody and get mad when they don’t respond the way you want them to.
I’m so proud of this woman for choosing herself. Why didn’t he, like one woman said, tell her way early in the relationship? Because he thought he had her, that she would never call off the wedding.
And I’m so happy to hear from the men who said she was right.
If you tell your truth to your partner then expect them to not stay with you if they don't want to 😊.
My ex of 6 years slowly began to “tell the truth” about himself. People don’t understand how traumatic that is to a person who thinks you’re straight! The truths were bad enough but then came weird stuff in the bedroom I was somehow supposed to know how to do, deviant stuff! I’m just a normal girl from Pennsylvania hello?! 🤦♀️ I did discover there were more things he was hiding he never told me. He used me as a financial stepping stone and left me in debt. And to top it off he told people I ran up my credit cards and he was tired of paying them 😂 I only had bills became he would never pay his fair share! So living through something similar, I agree with her 💯
I cant help but feel that the only reason he told her is because people who knew him in college were coming to the wedding and had probably made comments about how suprised they were that he was marrying a woman, so he thought he had to tell her first.
My maternal grandfather was a gay man who married a woman, and together they had seven children. He had a high-profile job, a trophy wife, and a large, Catholic family.
He was gay. He was in the closet until the 1980’s. My grandmother was clearly devastated by his identity. She never spoke about it.
If you are seeking a relationship with a man, and you want to avoid men in the closet for any reason, my advice is to make friends who are out and proud. I know I like men and women and people regardless of their junk, not because of it. I can tell you that we all know what it is like to hide that part of yourself, and we can spot it a mile away. Ask us. The more the better.
We can have compassion without judgement, and boundaries without hatred. It is a delicate balance and hard to do. I believe in you.
My spouse was the first person I told when I realised that I was queer (after we'd been together for a long time and were already married). He took it so much better than I had hoped, told me that it changed nothing for him and that he appreciated my honesty for telling him. That said, I never lied about it to him and we had an open conversation about it, like two adults who are capable of civil discourse.
ETA: I would probably have ended the relationship, if the discussion had devolved into a scary screaming match like this.
ETA2: To the dude at 14 minutes, if my spouse ever made the colossally stupid choice of cheating on me, the gender of the person he cheats on me with is irrelevant. The breach of trust does not become any better or worse, depending on the gender of the person he would be cheating on me with.
My bf was the first person I told when I figured it out… he was happy for me that I was able to discover/accept that part of my identity especially since I was raised Mormon and we don’t trust each other any less. I also did not lie- he knew I had been with women in the past- and he definitely did not scream at me. She has every right to end that engagement imo and he should have told her in the beginning of the relationship, especially before the engagement.
Slept with a FEW GUYS…and doubles to say he was curious??? 😂😂😂😂😂
If she’s wrong why is he still trying to have her back??
Thirdly, it’s the ‘you’ll never find a man like me’ I’ve never yelled AMEN…LET IT BE SO!!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 so loudly before
He took away her consent to be with him, just like what trans people do
Tell the person you are with who you REALLY are so they can consent. If you take away that choice for them I dont care what happens to you after they find out 🤷🏻♀️
Him being bisexual is what it is. I just don't like how he hid it. That's a red flag. Being bisexual is valid, but don't hide it. People need to be free to choose whatever they are comfortable with in a partner.
If you lie about that, what else are you lying about?
Same. Bisexuality isn't a problem, especially since plenty of bisexuals are happy being monogamous. It's also possible that, after some experimenting in college, he decided he's not that into guys and leans more straight.
One thought I had is he might've had some idea she wouldn't be OK with it if she knew, so he waited until he thought she wouldn't leave him. To be perfectly fair, he's still the same guy she agreed to marry, just with one extra fact. But to be even more fair, this is something that should've been discussed early on so she'd know he at least had a good faith intention not to cheat on her with men going forward.
It could be that he assumed she'd be very much okay with it, to the point it didn't even seem important to tell her.
The caption says he had affairs in college. Not clear if it meant "flings," or if they were actually together and he cheated. So, there's another reason for her to ditch him, on top of the screaming, controlling Nice Guy "You Won't Find Better Than Me" meltdown.
All I know is, it seems like he had reasons to not tell her until he did, and that makes him look shady and scheming. The meltdown he had confirms that she made a good choice in breaking it off. Guy needs to work on himself before he gets in ANY relationship.
The speculation he's gay could also be true. It's not too common now for gay guys to try to marry someone to stay in the closet, but it does still happen, especially when they know their families won't be supportive. Though if that were the case, I can't see why he'd admit to experimenting/being bi.
I'm not okay with that. Sorry not sorry.
She can't be wrong she has a CHOICE. He tried to take her CHOICE away. Nah boo do you
He wasn't being "vulnerable". He just never told her his truth and put her at risk. He is selfish
She was right and well within her rights! That mofo wanted to make her a beard! She probably felt something off and this was confirmation!! Run girl!
We may have been with someone that never told us they slept with men. That’s scary!
Wow.
I would call it off.
Look at his reaction!
Men like him, always go back to old habits.
This reminds me of that girl Diamond from Live is Blind. People absolutely DRAGGED her for having reservations. But I sided with her. This is something you disclose way before all this. It’s her choice.
She has every right to leave that relationship. Him being honest doesn't force her to stay instead it gives her a choice because now she knows the full truth. If she is 100% heterosexual, there is ko way she would stay with him. "it's in the past", queerness is not a phase or stage in which you pop in and out. It's intrinsically who you are. This guy is capping, as much as he's honest with her, he needs to be honest with himself too. If that woman stayed, she wouldn't fully trust that he's not with some dudes behind the scenes.
Thank you. Heterosexual BW have their right to choose. GTFOH, we have every right to our standards.
She's in the right; even if he wasn't gay, you can tell he would've turned her life into a living hell. In the beginning clip, you can hear him saying, "you won't ever find a man like me!", boasts about himself while yelling, and pulls out his camera to try and humiliate her. This would've ended up terribly even if he was straight.
Why are they shouting? I'd call the vendors to cancel that shit and not show up. It is about what you can live with long-term he was vulnerable, watch them talk about how soiled you are for your body count .. he better go be vulnerable to his mama! Ain't no body gonna be your beard in this B.
Hm... Haven't men been saying a woman's past matters to them. Yet, when the situation is on their side, it doesn't matter anymore.🤔
He should have related that message to her in the beginning. To let her make the choice if she still wanted to stay.
This man is emotionally IMMATURE not vulnerable. His grown self was waiting until last minute to tell her about his past. He was subconsciously sabotaging the wedding because he doesn't really want to get married to a woman. Underneath it all he knows he is gay and clearly has some issue with it. In this argument, she is taking the place of people in his life that have made him feel worthless as an in -the-closet gay. Like Sir, stop projecting and deal with your mommy/daddy issues. But whatever. If he is so emotionally insecure that he has to record an argument with someone he supposedly loves to post on Beyonce's internet...that's a red flag regardless of the gay stuff.
Aside from all the possible STDs, what ELSE is he lying about to her?
He SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER FROM THE BEGINNING… If he had, marriage would NOT HAVE EVER BEEN DISCUSSED… HE LIED and TRIED TO TRAP HER by having her make a decision IN HASTE and UNDER DURESS… NARCISSIST!
Tell her on the first date so that she can decided if this is the type of man she wants to date. Men and women in this day in age need to ask questions that they have never had to in the past.
Any woman would not look twice at him he's like someone's I'd see at the local bus stop trying to proposition me just No Sir! go the other way not this way I'm not getting in your truck. That's how horror movies start 😊.
As a bisexual woman who dated bisexual men (actual bisexual as in he dates both men and women not just men)... he's gay but wants a "wife" and kids. He needs to find a transwoman he can wife up. This isn't right.
This
His high pitched yelling is all I need to know! Be in your femininity bruh!!!!
😂😂😂
0:34 the way he’s screaming, no we would not like a man like you… scary asf.
Uhhhh no, he's gay lol....y would she be wrong
@@fionabeli7551 I don't give a damn...it's the same thing. I don't give a damn if he was trisexual he's gay and he likes n fks men
@@fionabeli7551 whatever he is, she deserves better than a man who screams at her like that
@@fionabeli7551 I don't care what it is the point is he's gay and fks men n I don't like it in my man or husband and it turns me off I'm not attracted to men who like men and that's ok bcz that's my opinion and how I feel and it will be respected
He obviously only like men 👀
I am pleased with black women who are like-minded in choosing themselves, setting standards for themselves, and letting go of people, places, things, and situations that do not serve them. In my opinion, this woman was correct in her actions. In the event that one doesn't align with your values, standards, and principles, it's acceptable to depart from the person or situation. Keep setting healthy boundaries for yourself and others, ladies. 🙏🏽🌷🌻
Biphobia should never be a piece of your character and some of those videos are biphobic period. I cannot speak to if the woman he was with is biphobic, but I can make a comment in regard to transparency and honesty.
1. You do NOT get to decide what someone accepts about you. Especially if you keep it from them for a length of time.
2. You have to discuss something like this early on because some people have hard lines to their sexuality, some people are bigoted, and some people have preferences.
3. He is dangerous because he is yelling at her proudly AND he filmed it. He needs to leave her be and she should get a restraining order because he clearly sounds like someone that doesn't take no for an answer.
Hmmmhmmm I don’t understand the phobia part though can you explain?
Many of the videos were focused on the shaming the man's sexuality, rather than his actions (i.e., waiting until the last minute to disclose, gaslighting, menacing, potentially cheating, and the like).
@@missrain5164- Shaming his sexuality.
Pushing their beliefs that he is gay and not bi. Offensive to say the least as I'm pretty every single person who did that would be upset if someone just decided they were all gay now.
Pushing the narrative that bi people are incapable of monogamy. Despite the fact that it's a matter of the individual's morals, they just decided he was using her as a beard.
It's incredibly messed up how everyone was like 'because he is bi he is bad in all these different ways.' I'd get not liking the lies. Absolutely a great reason to call someone out.
But it's telling how everyone skipped past that and focused on his sexuality
@@fireflameburns5983 I mean, if he's telling the truth about it, he might also be straight with some bi tendencies and did a lot of experimenting during college. There are straight people who have done so, as well as bi, gay, pan, and even asexual people who have done the same. I'm inclined to think he's bi, but he's the controlling sort of jerk no one of any gender identity or preference needs to be with unless he can work through his issues with some therapy.
I'm in agreement with you that some of the videos are downright toxic with their hate. They don't deserve a platform. Hate the guy because he's a controlling, gaslighting A-hole, not because of his romantic preferences.
He’s still sassy, no thanks! 😂 She saved herself a world of hurt (several men?)! 🤯
She shouldn't even argue. He would just come home one day and everything would be packed and shipped.