I used to be nice to everyone, males, women, kids. But i realised males thought i was hitting on them by simply being nice. Now i have a stone cold face towards them and barely even talk to them
Me too. When I'm out, I no longer care how scary my face looks. Only men care if my face is appealing, the women don't care at all. How many times has a woman ever asked why you aren't smiling? We girls know that that woman looking like a "beast" has things bugging her, just like we all do, but these men think we don't have any reason to frown or have that resting murder face🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️.
I love when you post!!!!! ❤🎉❤ This is so true. You can’t be nice to every man. Men are fickle. They think a “smile” equates to 🐱 which is so far from the truth.
Me too. I worked with a guy that was like 10 years younger than me who was socially awkward and not great women and had kind of a rough childhood, so I was very friendly towards him because I felt bad for him. He was like in love with me and took it as me wanting him (I was married and pregnant) and he literally started telling me about how long his 🍆 is and would wait for me to walk out of the building after work. I wasn't scared of him because prior to getting pregnant, I was a Muay Thai kickboxer and also trained in Jiu-Jitsu and he was kind of wimpy. But I got so annoyed that I started parking at the front of the building, far away and snuck out the front, despite having to walk further away. He was gone when I got back from maternity leave but found me on Twitter and started trying to talk to me and I was like....nope.
The thing that absolutely pisses me off is when people around you say “oh he’s harmless” “he’s just talking” because he hasn’t been violent…YET. A man can be borderline harassing you and people will gaslight women about it. The worst ones are fellow women who do this. Ugh.
A friend of mine had to deal with this in a literal woman's shelter. She confided in two of the wrong female staff and they were capping for the creep that they allowed to work in a woman's shelter. Women usually do this when they have a crush on the guy and can't see beyond how they would react to the guy approaching them.
“Most men are only nice to women they find attractive.” YEP! Yet we are expected to be nice regardless of how they treat us. “Sir… being nice to you is my JOB!”
They are also very, very mean to those they find attractive. Remember the PUAs are still out there and their whole objective is to belittle and demean who they deem attractive. Some of the things I've heard still give me flashbacks and when I was younger, it did a number on my self esteem
Yep and this is why men will continue to get away with the crap they get away with. Women can never just be on code for each other. That's why politics is the way it is now almost everywhere with women being treated like or actually being second-class citizens 🙄
This has always been a problem for me. I'm autistic so I never understood these social things until videos like this started coming out. When I do finally have the discernment to stay away from certain people- it's always a woman that will guilt me into thinking I'm being unreasonable.
@@hollymartinez3507 well say to these kind of ppl that you'd be happy for them to take your place anyday. In remembrance, you'll write a dang good speech once they're a statistic.
1. Lots of men will label a woman as being mean when she’s not giving them the energy they want from her. Literally who cares what they think. Their goal post, like their emotions, is always shifting. 2. No woman owes any man anything but the most basic of human courtesy. This does not involve smiling, saying hello, or even acknowledging their presence. Basic human courtesy is minding my own business and expecting you to mind yours.
Right, they want women to smile so they will let their guard down, making them more vulnerable for men to take advantage of them. It infuriates me when men tell me to smile. They can kiss my A$$ and leave me TF alone
Lots of women are naturally mean especially if there naturally pretty that's what a lot of men fail to realize if we start out mean when we're young it still carries on into our adult hood it never changes and people are always trying to get us fired or thrown into psych hospitals. We like to work and we like to make money and if he doesn't have that mindset too where he values her career then he doesn't actually love her he loves what's in her account and how she can benefit him..
In the black community, this is why BM say we have attitudes bc we do not smile, stop or talk to our harassers in the street. We are severely harassed in the streets of our community. And bc we don’t give in they run this attitude narrative.
Literally EVERYONE is against bw. Elders in church,folks on the block all day, Habib that let's them loiter on property down to the teenagers who own *parental fugures* won't correct actions. It then trickles down to the babies who haven't even hit puberty.
100% this! We need a whole video dedicated to this subject matter and how the black manosphere has weaponized this in an effort to pedestalize non-Black women.
I think women are also responsible, you date men with money and bad personality so others assume you like that personality, so they turn themselves into the weird "andrew tate" sh!t personality and now women complain there are no good men left all men are creeps.
Right. I'm tall, and as an adult, I realize one of my best friends' uncle used to actively flirt with me as a 10 year old. All men started flirting by the time I was 12. It's crazy
I give compliments out all the time. I have tried several times to complement men because they say that they need it, that it never happens for them, but they ALWAYS take a simple compliment as an invitation. I don’t complement men anymore.
I don't give "available" energy. Soon as you talk to me, "I'm single, I'm not looking and unless he's got $1000 a week for me, there's nothing to talk about." They hate it when you want money.
Oof, I'll have to try that. Normally I just give them very harsh nicknames in hopes that they get offended and go away. 10 second Dan, Lord Farquaad, discount Kevin Bacon, etc. It doesn't always work, but I try.
Agreed 1000 dollars a week should be the bare minimum if they want to provide for a woman some of them are beta guys that think there alpha and a lot of them are too poor to be sexist.
Banker story: Part of the horrifying aspect of that lady's recounting of her experience was kind of missed by her. Her freaking manager was basically a coconspirator. Trying to downplay the inappropriate behavior of men as "harmless" or "lonely" is trash. I would have transferred. I also would have reported that manager and let all my colleagues know just how inept they are at their job. I feel like had the man became more aggressive, physically I mean, the manager would have blamed the employee for "leading him on". Massive AH, male or female (the distinction wasn't made).
I def would've recorded the conversation with the mgr who swept it under the rug. Now if that man came in and unalived her, they would all act so oblivious smh
There was a story about a teenage girl who got unalived by her 28 year old co-worker. She begged them to switch shifts so she wouldn’t have to see him as he kept harassing her…companies like this are trash and need to be sued..
I once smiled and said “good morning” to a man at a 7-11 while I was getting my coffee, so naturally he followed me to my workplace and tried to get my phone number. I’m sorry, but some men make it impossible to be even casually nice to them.
What's so weird to me is this idea women should be nice and friendly to everyone all the time especially to men. I grew up in a bicultural family. Father's side is Danish. I remember being warned against being overly friendly with male acquaintances let alone random men. Not to say I was taught to be unnecessarily mean but I was told men get the wrong impression if you are friendly. Be polite and curt. My grandma used to also say to save your pearls for those who deserve it. Pearls being your teeth. Basically you are not obligated to smile for everyone.
That's great advice! Have you ever felt like you were being punished or had retaliation against you for not "playing along" with their "friendliness/flirtatiousness"? Because I know sure have! Especially at work.
@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066 absolutely. Not just punished. I've been called all sorts of names because I don't fake friendliness. Again, I'm not mean to people for no reason but I also don't play nice just because I'm apparently supposed to. Somehow that automatically makes me a mean or stern person.
It's mostly US culture that's like that. Being super pleasant and friendly is kind of something we're all pushed to be, but especially women. It's the reason why people in other countries get kinda freaked out when they visit here and folks greet them with hearty "Good Mornings!" and a full set of smiling teeth. That aggressive friendliness is a cultural staple, unfortunately.
And theyll say shit like "you miss 100% the opportunities you dont take" when it comes to approaching women not realizing how sick it is to admit we are opportunities to them and not people. These are opportunists. And you know who else is an opportunist? A predator.
Exactly! And a lot of the time they don't even really like you like that. They're only looking for a chance to get the kitty cat and take whatever els they want before they ruin your life because they can't simply move on without destroying you
I’m in a relationship and yes I’m mean to RANDOM MEN who approach me when I go out alone and they won’t leave me alone. I don’t owe a STRANGER anything and a lot of men think you being nice to them means you want them. I had to ask my man to go with me everytime I go shopping now because of men approaching me and following me around the store.
Oof, I get it. I literally got chased by some random guy at dollar general. After I found my mom and stayed close to her, he kept following me more slowly, and just walked a distance behind us for a little while.
I used to be so confused how me smiling was flirting? like dang can't I jut acknowledge you as a human, well apparently not, I now barely smile at anyone including women, everyone gets the resting bitch face.
Men will be so nice to women they want access to. The way my high school and college male friends started treating me as I got older and settled down really confused me. They were unnecessarily rude, sarcastic and combative. All this time I thought these men were actually my friends but they were really lying in wait. Gross!
Because some women just go to the grocery store to get groceries or to the gas station for gas, not to collect numbers. Also wish men would stop pulling up behind women's cars in parking lots to stop them from leaving. Iy makes you feel fight or flight not flirty. Also saying you can be friends when a woman says she has a man is desperate.
Food for thought, the highest numbers of PTSD sufferers are w-m-n. That fight or flight response? Sound familiar? I've felt the same and some days, after going through yet another horrible interaction with a non bear, I'd spend the rest of the day dealing with flashbacks of past abuse.
I’ve ditched friends who were only my ‘friend’ because they were waiting for me to be single. Like heck am I gonna have a ‘friendship’ literally BUILT off that mentality.
You know what’s sad I’m 58 that’s not the sad part. A man in a wheel chair looking like life beat the hell out of him and you can’t see he was also an alcoholic had spoke I said hello, he had the audacity to say to to me”why won’t you smile”? I sad to him “do I look like a damn clown”? He tried to go back and forth with me until I told him “your lucky I f-ing spoke”! I’m lucky he didn’t run me over with his wheels, even in that state, they still think they’re entitled,the nerve.
Your story had me triggered 😂😂. I was in my early 30s and looked about 10 years younger... no kids or men to age me, lol. This man, probably in his 60s, rolls up in one of the grocery store carts. Not even his own cart! Looking like the wall fell on him. Talking about 'Hey girl'. I didn't realize he was talking to me, so he said it again. I turned around, saw him, and saw the cart. I said NO! HELL NO! Keep rolling, and turned back around...that mfer no longer existed in my reality. The lady in front of me laughed but at the same time asked me why was I so mean. I said he had no chance in all hell. So why even play with him? But I carry everything mace, a stun gun, and the great equalizer. So I shut shit down immediately. I'm not always so blunt, but I don't smile at men if I don't want to, and I don't give out my number to keep the peace.
I'm 42. I was telling a male acquaintance about how I was stalked by a male customer in his 50's when I was 17 working at McDonald's. His response? Well some people have a certain personality that makes people stalk them. Excuse me? He tried unsuccessfully to explain. So at 17, I gave off come stalk me vibes to middle aged men? Got it. Oh and He's in law enforcement
This is also why men who are exotic dancers rarely see any women at their club unless it is a batchelorette party. The women are engaging in performative women's empowerment and acting silly but in reality most of them would have no interest in the dancer for a short-term fling or a long term relationship. And they definitely understand that the man is on the clock and not interested in them. So many men really think that exotic dancing girls really like them because the girl remember ls their name. Who would not remember a name and give a big smile to the person who handed them $1k last week? They also think the OF girl really likes them because she gave them a shout out after the guy paid thousands. This is the real source of their anger. Not "gold diggers". They are upset because they have no discretion.
Some don't know the difference. A guy on another post was talking about gold diggers and he said go to the strip club and watch them come running if they know you have alot of money. The women in the comments were tearing him up. I said sir, you do know that's what they are supposed to do. Its their job to get your money. You didn't really think they came over to you because they liked you did you? SMDH
manipulation and coercion specifically, they think they can "change our mind" like a dog bribed with treats - why do you think they bring us chocolates? TREATS
I remember my wannabe player older brother implying that a Hooters waitress wanted to see me again, when we were done eating, paid the check and getting ready to leave, but I corrected him and said, she simply meant to come again to eat at Hooters, then he says "Don't be a moron!".
Haha, my ex used to eat it up whenever a cute, young salesgirl would act nice to him for a sale. He walked around like he was a GQ model the rest of the week. 😆
Wow I was just about comment similar. Many years ago in my 20s ( I'm 42 now lol) I worked a fulltime job through the week, and on weekends, I worked at Hooters during my Masters studies. Alot of dudes took kindness and attentive service as "you wanting them". I was about my money, and made a lot of money on weekends. Wasn't there to "make friends" and had to tell a few dudes that.
I have a naturally upbeat, bubbly personality and I've been told I'm an attractive woman, but I've learned to be stonefaced in public, especially around men due to their entitled behavior. No eye contact, no smiles, and no acknowledgement when they try to talk to me. One of my favorite interactions I had was some scumbag trying to flirt with me in front of his wife, but I completely ignored him and said to his wife, "I'm sorry that you have to deal with him". She perked up and smiled while he seemed surprised, then embarrassed. 😂😂😂
I'm stuck in the service industry currently. It's my part-time gig.Can't wait for that to end. Anyway my resting bitch face be on fleek!!!! And whenever I give a man a compliment , I try to sound like a man giving a man a compliment like , for example. That's a fresh shirt, dude!
It’s so hard for those of us with naturally bubbly personalities who love to smile to be conscious of this. But I’ve learned if you give a man an inch they’ll take 17 miles. No more smiles over here anymore. Unless it’s a super old man or someone faithfully married. Everyone else can kick rocks
A guy I followed on instagram asked a similar question. He said many women approached him and complimented him on his “look”. He asked why women just didn’t ask for his number instead of complimenting him. I replied, “every woman that says something nice to you doesn’t necessarily want you.” I was blocked of course 😂
My mom got upset with me for being standoff-ish and curt to a neighbor. My mom gave him her number and showed me creepy texts he sent her but she wants me to be nice to him? No. I'm not putting myself at risk
@seabreeze4559 Maybe, but my mom is the type to want to look like everyone's savior. So it could just be that too. Either way, I'm not playing that stupid game
In certain situations I can’t help being less than friendly. The amount of times I was hit on while visibly pregnant 🤢. I’m talking 3rd trimester swollen ankles waddling like a penguin pregnant. I also hate when men hit on me in front of my kids! It always happens in the checkout line or the parking lot. What infuriates me is when they start speaking to my kids. Even when I explain that I am married they still keep going. If someone refuses to take no for an answer I don’t owe them niceness.
There is never a reason why grown men should be talking directly to kids, especially in front of their parents. I would even be cautious of women doing the same. You never know whose side they're on.
I stepped down as GM for a large retailer and took a 15K pay cut in order to work a role that doesn't require me to interact with customers. The sexual harassment from customers was outrageous! The men seriously thought that good customer service equated to flirting. I also had multiple stalkers! Guys who I didn't recognize would approach me and say, "Hey I saw your car outside so I came in to say hi". Once I was at home removing groceries from my trunk and a guy stopped his car and yelled out, "Hey! Don't you work at ___?" I had no idea who he was, but he now knows where I live. Now, even though I work in the back away from costumers, on 4 separate occasions men have seen me and walked behind the counter and into the back area (where customers do not belong) to approach me! I don't feel safe anywhere. I only leave the house when it's absolutely necessary!
talk down in your chest tell them this is a restricted area and they will meet with security next if you don't have security it's the cops or have the front desk folks move him out. Males change their behavior I've noticed when I speak down in the chest cuz males do this to one another to T-pose for dominance.
@@loveyourselffirst549 I carry a knife…I’ll get a gun soon. Luckily my new position doesn’t keep me at the same location long. Last Thursday a guy came up there twice looking for me. I didn’t come out the first time and told them to tell him I was in a meeting..he came back hours later and asked for me again. I never gave this guy any reason to think I wanted him, I even told him I was in a relationship so I couldn’t give him my number. So this time I came out and told him he was scaring me and that him coming to my job multiple times a day made me uncomfortable. I haven’t seen him since, I hope he stays away.
Said hi to a man in the supermarket once and he was outside waiting for me. Followed me in his car drive-by speed just saying crao! Even after I told him I was married.
CC permit. I mentioned that I was carrying when a guy was walking behind me. He turned around real fast and walked across the road. Don’t let thee guys mess with you like this.
Because men think so highly of themselves so any "nice" gesture is considered flirtation and leading them on or consent to SA. Oh but she smiled, dude she was so into me.
I've been platonic "friends" with a man i met online for almost 18 years who lives in Canada. I use friend lightly because he's more of an associate to me. Cool pplz never the less. I live in America and maybe about 5 times or so, he's asked to come visit me and I've always declined. I like our online friendship, that's what works for me. Tell me why this man RANDOMLY asks me why I've never sent him a thirst trap and can i please do it because he's had a crush on me all these years 🤯🤯🤯🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🙄🙄😬😬😬 I'm like "what do i gain from sending a friend that? That's weird" His retort was his unrequited crush for me. Men are actually M A D in the head. You can't have platonic friendships with men because if they find you attractive, they will play the long game. If they DON'T find you attractive, the will STILL try to sleep with you because now that they've gotten to know you, they're fake inlove with fake feelings lol. You can't make it up
I completely agree with this video. I do have a serious resting face so I don't mind when people ask me am I okay, but it's always some dusty man telling me to "smile sweatheart"... I'm like "dance, since we making demands bro...DANCE!" 😂😂😂
Second, I used to work for hotels at the front desk and all the slimy scumbag losers who would always try a thing with me, stalking, flashing, following me, being perverted, etc.
Same! I worked for Marriott for 4 years. My managers would always get on my ass to write personalized welcome cards telling them to “just let me know if I can do anything to make the stay special !” to guests that I was suppose to slip under their doors at the end of my shift. Guess how many freaking business men took that the wrong way. 🙄
I’ve learned you can’t be friendly to most men. I had a friendly conversation with a new coworker. Next thing you know he’s coming up to me with food he bought me, that I never asked for. Nice right. Nope he wrote his phone number on the receipt in the bag. That’s was very manipulative to me. The next day my supervisor sent a group text to him and I. He immediately got my number and started texting me. He felt entitled to access to me outside of work because he bought me food I never asked for. I told him off when I got to work now he avoids me. He’s lucky I didn’t report him.
Just two days ago I had a male process server try to serve my estranged husband show up at my door. I had to tell him that my husband isn’t here and doesn’t stay here anymore. He proceeded to sit down on my porch and try to ask me if I wanted any friends or company cuz I was just too gorgeous and I’m thinking I just had to tell this strange man I live alone and he’s not posted up on my porch asking me out and all I did was answer the door and give honest answers to his questions. It reminded me why I just don’t even bother answering the door anymore.
@@Rickettsia505 who the fuck is his boss? Do you know? I don’t even know the dude’s name. 🤣. You think I’m gonna ask for this dude’s manager’s information when he knows where I live. No thank you!
Girl, you should of just say "have a good day❤" and close the door as soon as he started his foolishness, its just not worth even arguing with these men.
I have to put on my mean face when I'm in public because some of these men will take your niceness for flirting and when you reject them not all but some lash out violently so I have to be very careful.😮
It's so true. You know if a guy thinks you're unattractive if you are polite to him and he is rude back. The clown is so vain he thinks you're hitting on him, so he's being rude bc he's not interested. He doesn't realise that you're not interested in him either! 😀 It must be nice to move through the world in such a delulu state, so confident of one's own attractions....😆
Im always nice bc im in the south and thats just a thing. "That southern charm. Southern hospitality" and i always carry my glock 9 when im not a work. But there was this one time a man approached me when i got off work. I had my gun in my car. I knew this customer from earlier that day, but when he approached me i said "hey let me get something out of my car and I'll be right back." Got to my car, put it in my front pocket, and went back to finish that conversation with the brightest smile. He noticed the gun in my pocket and immediately backed tracked. Saying "oh I was just asking how your day was going. You didnt have to get that." I responded "Thank you for checking on me. I'm alright and its nice to see you're doing well too. This is for my own protection these days you cant really tell who will be friend or foe. I am a black women in the south after all." And he walked tf away. Never saw him again.
this is a little off topic, but it shows desperation in these men. Ladies, ladies, ladies.... PLEASE get your nose out of your phone and earplugs out of your ears when you are IN PUBLIC. DO NOT be distracted...I saw a video yesterday about a man that "relieved" himself on a woman's bare leg at dollar tree. I don't KNOW if she was on her phone or not but if you are aware of your surroundings I am pretty sure that you can spot a man with his hand on himself inappropriately pretty quick and can move away. Every man in the comment section and some women were laughing and thinking it was funny, along with making smart comments. It was sick...nothing has changed. I am 54 and when I was 15 and men would expose themselves to me, whenever I called the cops or asked for help from another man I was met with laughter or even a smile on their face. As a nurse, I was told to "deal with it" you're a nurse and was met with laughter and joking from the nursing station from other nurses. I cannot tell you the number of diseases you can contract from bodily fluids and believe me when I tell you, due to that man's actions, if he does not get held accountable, he will take it to the next level, and it will be some random woman's face or perhaps even a child the next time he does it....PLEASE be safe, stay aware, get off that phone. They are WATCHING and they are getting more and more BRAZEN.
Wow interesting, my earphones are my favorite thing to use ,they always like to cat call you and it's so annoying .I remember a man said to be the girl that don't talk to people? Like they can't leave us alone .
I agree its unsafe to have your ipods in when you can't hear him coming. Now some product back in the 90s was made briefly as personal spy ware it plugged into your ears and you could hear for quite a range if you found that and had that in you would be find cuz you'd hear him coming.
What can suck even more for some people with being vigilant and aware is what I struggle with. Even without my phone or headphones, which i don't wear in public now, is that I have fatigue issues and ADHD, so I'm often oblivious on either end of the distraction scale. Too tired to notice, or to in my own mind to notice. It just sucks so much that everything is set up to be so dangerous...
When I was in college around 18 (I’m in my 30’s now), my professor told us this very thing. I don’t know if she found it from a study but she said men believe every woman they encounter wants them. Doesn’t matter what they do or don’t do, but it becomes a greater thought when you are actually nice to them. They believe it’s confirmed that you do want them if you’re nice. This is why ever since then, I am MEAN to men😂😂😂 and not even really mean, I’m just straight to the point with them and no smiling because I don’t even want you to think inside your head that I want you even for a second😂😂😂
This is so true, I've even seen it with my own male cousins and some classmates at varsity. I once got into a heated debate with a guy where he insisted that it wouldn't matter how much I didn't initially like a guy, as long as that same guy kept persistently pursuing me to the point of harassment I would eventually give in 😐 Doesn't that sound a lot like coercion and "grape" to anyone? It was so scary to hear that coming from someone who was only 21 at the time and my own cousins would brag about all the girls they can "bag with no effort", meanwhile the girls in question were only being nice to them and had no romantic interest in them at all. This is why I think a lot of men in their late 30s and 40s assume that they'll have harems of women at their beck and call, especially younger attractive women.
Yeah, it pisses me off that they have such audacity to think I'd want anything to do with them 🥱 Even the thought of them possibly imagining scenarios with me in them disgusts me, like the potential disrespect 🤢
Serious question: how did we end up being afraid of the accusation of "being mean"? Even the words strung together in that phrase indicate the person using it has limited self awareness and limited vocabulary. I can be apprehensive, coy, furtive, secretive, grey rock, shielded, stand-offish and dismissive of m@le attention, depending on the risk level. But "mean" isn't a descriptor and really should fall out of use.
probably due to if a woman as considered mean she'd not be sold off to her future husband and her family at their wits ends of having her past the age of puberty didn't want to keep her as to them and patriarchy said she can't be a viable wife past 30 or some such thing. It was a rule made to aid males more under patriarchy.
It’s hard to be friends with men because they think you like them, which gives them the green light to ask you out or formulate all these romantic ideas about you. It’s annoying because when they ask you out, and you turn them down, or when they see you talking to someone you actually like, they may start spreading false rumors about you. Sometime, they will even spread false rumors to the person you like. I learned this the hard way, and I am still learning it.🤦🏽♀️
This happened to me this week. He was a "nice guy" who suddenly got entitled. Than when I set a boundary he immediately spread rumors about me so I basically got blacksheeped from our social setting. Not one person even asked me my side. (Were adults, were not even kids smh) Sad part is if he had really been a nice guy I might have dated him based on a foundation of friendship and kindness. But men are narcissistic and demand what they want RIGHT NOW! If they don't get it, they throw a tantrum
@@Khaegch-favh How accurate. It's like most of them have the lowest of EQ. They literally don't listen to our No's... A male friend asks you out, you decline. Acts like he's fine with it then asks you again in a few weeks. Then the cycle continues over and over again. And when you're over the BS and opt out of the friendship, he acts like you led him on. It's so exhausting and I am currently not having any male friends and I don't desire to ever.
Was talking to a guy from my business school: we talked on the phone sometimes and one day, he reacted when I didn't call him for few months. I was surprised because he was just a guy I know, not even a friend. Few weeks later, he asked me if we could be FWB (?!?) which ended immediately our "connection". Saw him months later with his friend staring at me and I suspect him of spreading a false rumour to his friend because his friend was looking at me very weirdly. Funny thing: the dude was way out of my league and it was a priviledge for him to be seen with me. This is my last time being nice to a dude: they can be very dangerous actually, bad mouthing you and your reputation and thinking they got a chance with you because you smile to them 🥴😵💫
Yea, I was followed home by someone from my work. I had to lie and say that my boyfriend was upstairs so he would leave. This is why I would wear oversized/ masculine clothes on purpose.
This is so true. I literally just experienced this over the weekend. I attended a party this weekend. It was a classy event. Of course, I was dressed impeccably. As it was a social event, it is natural to smile, say hello, and engage in conversation. As the night was ending, I was speaking to the host of the event and one of his friends and exchanging pleasantries. The host then excuses himself. We say our good nights and I proceed to walk to my car. The other person, a man, "politely" offers to walk me to my car and I accept. He then opens the car door after I unlocked it and as I am settling into the driver's seat, he asks if he can take me out to dinner. I respectfully declined and told him that I was "spoken for." It is definitely true. They are only "nice" when they want something from you and/or when they find you attractive.
The more I became friends with men, the more comfortable they became being misogynistic around me. The only one that wasn't was married, the rest were single. Go figure
I was always the "proud, mean, cold, bitch/witch" to men most of the time because they are only tolerable when they don't like me as far as I'm concerned. Because they keep every interaction straight to the point and short due to my 'attitude', it wasn't that they didn't find me attractive, it was that they hated my guts and resented me for not even attempting to be "nice". I'm always very formally polite and the vibes i gave off made them so hesitant to cross the obvious boundaries i set. So many boys/men hated me ao much right from second school because i was just so "proud" 😂. Everytime I've had to deal with the "smile more, why are you always frowning?" Line from people but i rather have a man's disdain and respect than his unwanted attention anyday.
The problem is when you're friendly with men they think that gives them the mandate to cross lines. I'm friendly with men because I have to not because I want to. I HATE that I have to be friendly because I need a service from them or because I don't want insults to be hurled at me or be attacked.
I asked a male acquaintance why this was, and he said, "Men are desperate for female attention because women received more love as children." To this day, I still don't know what to make of that statement.
I am not trying to be mean but the young lady who asked the question does not regularly get harassed by men so she truly doesn’t understand how frustrating it is when a man can’t understand the word no.
I work as a waitress i had complimented 3 men who are old enough to be my dad then they would get extremely touchy and forciful after telling them i am taken and just trying to be nice. Now i only compliment women i serve
There are many occasions where I regret greeting or smiling around men. I had to beg a man once to not follow me home. All I did was be polite to someone I ran into. Had to change my route home, because he kept walking behind me.
I remember I got catcalled on my way to work, and the idiot was like " you're so pretty!! why don't you smile? Smile!" I told him to F off and that I was not smiling because my dad died two weeks prior. He felt stupid and apologized, but ( a bit unhinged on my part I will admit) started yelling at him that I was not a prop in his day to make him feel special and followed by a bunch of insults... I was hurt and thinking that this stranger thought I owed him a smile when you could clearly see that I was absolutely broken made me absolutely flip on him.
God, that is so creepy when men do that. My physics teacher kept telling me to smile, and he was getting in my face (I was sitting at the front of the class), and I kept awkwardly grimacing at him, hoping he was going to continue the lesson as I absolutely sucked at Physics. Now I would tell him I had nothing to smile about as was in a Physics lesson but 16 year old wouldn't have dared. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your dad, that couldn't have been easy even if it was years ago.
I'm not mean to anyone, I'm just either responding to their behavior towards me with the same energy or I'm simply ignoring them, not giving them the time of day. If I'm really in the mood for some fun, I act like I don't speak the language and I don't understand anything they're saying, that really grinds their gears😂😂
I'm honestly really proud of all the women that can be assertive and cold to strange men because I am always such a freezer and so painfully passive and it's gotten me into so many awful situations that could be avoided by being more outspoken and firm. I aspire to be more like you ""mean"" ladies
Start reading books on serial killers and then imagine you have an aura of pure bitch around you. My dad would call me a female chauvinist when I was in my teens. I might not dressed like a punk, but I was a punk.
ooh I feel your pain this is me too! I'm reading a book called "The Nice Girl Syndrome" which talks about beung a Strong Woman instead of a Nice Girl 👍 yup, working on that. Good luck to all of us!
They think I’m hitting on them and it’s annoying when I’m just trying to be pleasant and polite. I had my work partner (I’m an EMT) tell me “oh I thought you liked me when we first started working together and that you were flirting with me!” and I had to say “You are not my type in any way, shape, or form. I have never thought of you that way and I never will”. He tried convincing me how attractive he is/was for the next hour 😑 Mind you, he was married at the time we started working together and still was when he told me all this.
Lol! Ain't nobody acting more single than a married man. I had sleazy married supervisor that actually was so creepy to one of my coworkers that she and a few others quit.
Man, it’s not even about attraction. If a man is desperate enough, he’ll be ‘nice’ to any woman who gives him the time of day because he expects random women to be his support instead of his guy friends. They’d rather burden strangers.
in the gift of fear, Gavin de Becker, the anti stalking guy actually advises women to be rude to for this very reason. he also points out people need to stop enabling assholes. I wish other people would get that memo.
People need to stop blaming women for putting up a wall when men approach them. How is that our fault? Blame the men who made that a necessary defense mechanism. Thank you for this video, I needed to be reminded of there still being compassion. Lately I've seen too many videos online where women are shamed for not being nice or fun when approached by strange men.
Although sometimes I take it for granted, this is one of the many reasons I am thankful for my resting b-face. A while ago, this happened twice in one week, I was at the gas station getting snacks before my class, and both times, black men, both looked old enough to be my father, were trying to talk to me. Why is it so hard for others to understand that maybe some people don’t want to be bothered? That they want to handle their business and keep it moving? You should not have to be “friendly” to everybody unless you want to. After all, you don’t even know them.🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Yeah, I basically ignore men I don't already know unless they are introduced to me by someone else. Makes things very simple. I'm uninterested in boosting their egos or being desired.
I feel like men lure women with friendship. Thus creating situationships and boosting his ego about the many women around him. Don't fall for the friendship card unless it's genuine and has strong boundaries.
I was polite to a taxi driver and he came back to my house at 11pm and stood outside my window murmuring "mummy". Another man who was a complete stranger kept returning to my front porch between 2-3am and would just stand in the corner staring. I was barely 18 and it was absolutely terrifying, when I would see him I would be paralyzed with fear and the police did nothing. It went on for MONTHS, this happened about 10-13yrs ago and I still have the sensation of fear and violation. Another man would chase me with his dog when I would go to the shops, I stopped leaving my house in the evenings. Honestly being a woman is terrifying 😔
Yes this happened to me too 15 years ago.. At the time I lived alone in an urban neighborhood and there was a house up the street where there were several guys that hung out at the house and they were always looking at me and hollering for me and I would ignore them..One night I was home with my soft romantic music playing while soaking in the tub..My doorbell started ringing and I looked o 2:25 ut my peephole to see one of the guys from up the street on my porch uninvited at 2am..I turned off the porch light and my music and he left I hate when men do creepy stuff like that thinking it's cute.. It's NOT!!! It is scary and I blame porn and loose women..They see in porn these scenes where a woman just opens her door to a strange man or the hoes out in these streets who will be available to strangers..My incident only happened once so I can imagine your fear with the weirdo coming back several times
If you ever want a man to get out of your face just mention money. If he asks why you're not smiling just say my roommate ran off with our $4000 in rent money then turn around and walk away. I guarantee you that man will leave you alone!!!
This reminds me of the netflix documentary about the cheating site. There was a man on there who had a s3x addiction and he would tell his wife, the barista in the coffee shop has been flirting with me. The lady in front of me in the queue at the supermarket was fluttering her eyes at me. No sir, its you, you're the problem.
I was 24 waiting in line for the ATM and this older man was waiting behind me and we started chatting and he said his youngest daughter was a year younger and his oldest was 30 and seemed really nice. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend and licked his lips while staring at my breasts 😒 So gross.
I’ve had multiple men beg me to be with them in a relationship even though I’m already in a happy relationship, I’ve told them multiple times about my boundaries and platonic feelings, no matter what, they ALWAYS TRY. It’s so predatory, it’s terrifying.
Some men will literally misinterpret the smallest of actions and try to invade your personal space. I have worked in the service industry both retail and call center and have had men old enough to be my father openly flirt with me while trying to help customers and one of them mentioned even staring at my body and felt comfortable enough to tell me that and another one wouldn’t leave my line until I gave him my social(this was late at night too).When I’m out and about I walk fast to avoid some random trying to stop me and both me. I’m out running errands and you’re a complete stranger, I don’t owe you my time nor do I need to give you my name
Literally one of the most attractive things about my boyfriend is that he respected that I needed a slow pace in our relationship. I can talk to him about where my boundaries are and he'll listen, actually listen and remember. He's not perfect at it but fucking hell, at least he's trying hard to be a good man to me. Early in our relationship, I had another dude vulgarly harass and sexually proposition me somewhere I felt safe and I was lucky that the people running it were taking none of that. And still I was scared to tell my boyfriend cause what if he blamed me, what if he got angry with me, what if what if.. all those BS things in my head from other people throughout my life. And you know what he did? He was concerned about me, he was relieved that the event coordinators listened to me and the others who had been harassed & they took action. He stayed up late to make sure I got home safe and was able to calm enough to sleep. He offered to go with me to future events in case that dude ever came back; even though it wasn't his thing, even though it would cost him money and time because he knew I had enjoyed the space. He wanted me to feel safe, he was willing to leave work immediately and stay with me. He respected when I said I'd take time away from the space and when I choose to come back, he was relieved that the staff had booted the guy and thankful that they checked in with me for a while after. And none of this is to say he wasn't angry, he was furious at the guy but there wasn't a single second that he was upset with me about it. I wish this was more common, I wish more men could act like this and it seems like often they just weren't raised like that. And I get that but you don't need to be perfect at it. Just try to listen to us, respect our autonomy and agency, and our interests. We're people, everyone is a person with all the complexities that entails.
When I was 18 I worked at a Tahiti shop in underground Atlanta. I was so wet behind the ears. I would call my boss crying after some guy would do or say some absolutely disgusting thing. He would always tell me I was overreacting. Finally I snapped on day after a guy was being so gross that I attacked him and chased him all the way through the place. Security came to question ME because they saw me chasing him. They sided with me though and I had to call and explain why I was away from the cart and all this stuff. This jackass ended up firing me because he said I was some type of sex obsessed freak. He actually said this to me over the phone of course. He called me at work to tell me I was fired. Like what a sack of crap that guy was.
Tbh because they'd take my niceness for flirting etc. People telling me im flirting it actually made me think me being nice was flirting when I wasn't flirting. I was only like 20 and under. I wasn't aware of all this.
I started working from home because of this. I used to work at a gallery and at art shows and there was always some gross creeper who thought I was available to him. One icky little goblin, who faked being Apache, kept after me for a year! He gave me a box of tool shaped chocolates for Valentines. Thankfully he didn’t get dangerous but I’d made it so clear I found him repulsive. Working from home is sooooo much more peaceful, but I liked taking classes and there was always gross creepers and people who mad excuses for them. I’m throwing elbows these days, especially to the huggers! 😂
I just don't enjoy the way my time, politeness and friendliness is expected, demanded or required!!! You're punished either way, so I rather keep my own peace and comfort my top priority over anyone else.
I'm a WM who loves this channel, and have got to say that yes, in these situations "mean" is understandable, and men provide good reason for women to be like that. Again, pay close attention to the *WHY* of it.
I was walking home from work one day and said “hello” to a man that was passing by me on the sidewalk. He turned around and started following me home. Fortunately, I was able to go to a neighbor’s apartment and she let me in. He was waiting outside her apartment for me to come out. She drove me the rest of the way home. I am not one who scares easily, but that really scared me.
I am warm but short. they know I"m not being rude but clearly have other things to do than waste energy chit chatting with them. I stay tf from around men, period.
I used to be nice to everyone, males, women, kids. But i realised males thought i was hitting on them by simply being nice. Now i have a stone cold face towards them and barely even talk to them
Me too. When I'm out, I no longer care how scary my face looks. Only men care if my face is appealing, the women don't care at all. How many times has a woman ever asked why you aren't smiling? We girls know that that woman looking like a "beast" has things bugging her, just like we all do, but these men think we don't have any reason to frown or have that resting murder face🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️.
Me. Like what??????? Now I’m 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
Yes, I did this too and it eliminates alot of stress
Same. 🎯
Then they’ll complain that no one acknowledges them, they cause their own issues
Being friendly to a man got me stalked for two years. I'll pass. Ole girl need to stop being a pick-me 🙄
Being cordial to wrong guy at work got me harassed for months. This person convinced himself that we were in a relationship.
I love when you post!!!!! ❤🎉❤ This is so true. You can’t be nice to every man. Men are fickle. They think a “smile” equates to 🐱 which is so far from the truth.
Right
You're definitely a true "girl's girl" smfh
Me too. I worked with a guy that was like 10 years younger than me who was socially awkward and not great women and had kind of a rough childhood, so I was very friendly towards him because I felt bad for him. He was like in love with me and took it as me wanting him (I was married and pregnant) and he literally started telling me about how long his 🍆 is and would wait for me to walk out of the building after work. I wasn't scared of him because prior to getting pregnant, I was a Muay Thai kickboxer and also trained in Jiu-Jitsu and he was kind of wimpy. But I got so annoyed that I started parking at the front of the building, far away and snuck out the front, despite having to walk further away. He was gone when I got back from maternity leave but found me on Twitter and started trying to talk to me and I was like....nope.
The thing that absolutely pisses me off is when people around you say “oh he’s harmless” “he’s just talking” because he hasn’t been violent…YET. A man can be borderline harassing you and people will gaslight women about it. The worst ones are fellow women who do this. Ugh.
A friend of mine had to deal with this in a literal woman's shelter. She confided in two of the wrong female staff and they were capping for the creep that they allowed to work in a woman's shelter. Women usually do this when they have a crush on the guy and can't see beyond how they would react to the guy approaching them.
It's the yet that we women know is coming.
@@Sophineexactly
Pick me’s are dangerous to other women.
@@Enriquez2222Facts. Don't forget children as well.
“Most men are only nice to women they find attractive.” YEP! Yet we are expected to be nice regardless of how they treat us. “Sir… being nice to you is my JOB!”
They are also very, very mean to those they find attractive. Remember the PUAs are still out there and their whole objective is to belittle and demean who they deem attractive. Some of the things I've heard still give me flashbacks and when I was younger, it did a number on my self esteem
@@rtphotos4691 yes, I’m yet to meet a man who hasn’t tried to humble me. Or break my spirit
@@rtphotos4691 they are very nasty to women they deem ugly too. Look at the way they treat fat women.
Many women aren’t nice to men who they find unattractive. Women don’t like bisexual men
I am a waitress.... So I really felt this comment 💯💯💯
The bank lady, it is ALWAYS another woman who will defend every dangerous loser against you. It is baffling.
Yep and this is why men will continue to get away with the crap they get away with. Women can never just be on code for each other. That's why politics is the way it is now almost everywhere with women being treated like or actually being second-class citizens 🙄
💯
Yep
This has always been a problem for me. I'm autistic so I never understood these social things until videos like this started coming out. When I do finally have the discernment to stay away from certain people- it's always a woman that will guilt me into thinking I'm being unreasonable.
@@hollymartinez3507 well say to these kind of ppl that you'd be happy for them to take your place anyday. In remembrance, you'll write a dang good speech once they're a statistic.
1. Lots of men will label a woman as being mean when she’s not giving them the energy they want from her. Literally who cares what they think. Their goal post, like their emotions, is always shifting.
2. No woman owes any man anything but the most basic of human courtesy. This does not involve smiling, saying hello, or even acknowledging their presence. Basic human courtesy is minding my own business and expecting you to mind yours.
Yessssssss!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾💯🎯🎯
Love ❤️ that definition of basic human courtesy!!
Absolutely
❤
Right, they want women to smile so they will let their guard down, making them more vulnerable for men to take advantage of them. It infuriates me when men tell me to smile. They can kiss my A$$ and leave me TF alone
Lots of women are naturally mean especially if there naturally pretty that's what a lot of men fail to realize if we start out mean when we're young it still carries on into our adult hood it never changes and people are always trying to get us fired or thrown into psych hospitals.
We like to work and we like to make money and if he doesn't have that mindset too where he values her career then he doesn't actually love her he loves what's in her account and how she can benefit him..
In the black community, this is why BM say we have attitudes bc we do not smile, stop or talk to our harassers in the street. We are severely harassed in the streets of our community. And bc we don’t give in they run this attitude narrative.
Literally EVERYONE is against bw. Elders in church,folks on the block all day, Habib that let's them loiter on property down to the teenagers who own *parental fugures* won't correct actions.
It then trickles down to the babies who haven't even hit puberty.
100% this! We need a whole video dedicated to this subject matter and how the black manosphere has weaponized this in an effort to pedestalize non-Black women.
@@DancingDeity Make your own video.
Facts! 100% accurate!
100% and honestly THEY are the ones who get an attitude if they don’t get what they want. It’s classic projection.
Their niceness to attractive women is often TEMPORARY. As soon as she ages or gains weight post partum, they start acting NASTY.
I think women are also responsible, you date men with money and bad personality so others assume you like that personality, so they turn themselves into the weird "andrew tate" sh!t personality and now women complain there are no good men left all men are creeps.
...then she "must be bat shyt crazy after he realizes he can't get close to her.
Then they began their tirade of verbal abuse and name-calling, and disrespect
I’m a tall girl. I’ve been getting hit on by adult men since I was 8 years old. I’m not required to be nice to anybody and certainly not men.
That’s terrible 🙈
@@flutatious_music4 yes it was. Thank you for validating that feeling because I still have nightmares about it.
@@ceruleanwonder Of course! I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you. There are way too many sadistic fcks in this world.
Girl me too I was 5'11 at 12 yrs old. I've been hit on by men 18- 85 no joke it's creepy.
Right. I'm tall, and as an adult, I realize one of my best friends' uncle used to actively flirt with me as a 10 year old. All men started flirting by the time I was 12. It's crazy
I give compliments out all the time. I have tried several times to complement men because they say that they need it, that it never happens for them, but they ALWAYS take a simple compliment as an invitation. I don’t complement men anymore.
Exactly, they also take compliments as flirting ALL the time like sir I’m just giving you a compliment.
I used to do the same, thinking that because I'm unattractive, it will be ok. Nope! So I'm no longer complimenting men.
🎯
Let's their men friends compliment them, I say.
As an Aroace, I made the same mistake, thinking the same thing 💀 NEVER AGAIN
I don't give "available" energy. Soon as you talk to me, "I'm single, I'm not looking and unless he's got $1000 a week for me, there's nothing to talk about." They hate it when you want money.
🗣💯💯💯!!! Periot!
😂 I love your screen name BTW lol
@@kimberly6243 the profile pic too
Oof, I'll have to try that. Normally I just give them very harsh nicknames in hopes that they get offended and go away.
10 second Dan, Lord Farquaad, discount Kevin Bacon, etc.
It doesn't always work, but I try.
Your username gave me the laugh I needed. 😂😂😂 Classic.
Agreed 1000 dollars a week should be the bare minimum if they want to provide for a woman some of them are beta guys that think there alpha and a lot of them are too poor to be sexist.
Banker story: Part of the horrifying aspect of that lady's recounting of her experience was kind of missed by her. Her freaking manager was basically a coconspirator. Trying to downplay the inappropriate behavior of men as "harmless" or "lonely" is trash. I would have transferred. I also would have reported that manager and let all my colleagues know just how inept they are at their job. I feel like had the man became more aggressive, physically I mean, the manager would have blamed the employee for "leading him on". Massive AH, male or female (the distinction wasn't made).
I agree that manager should have been reported.
I def would've recorded the conversation with the mgr who swept it under the rug. Now if that man came in and unalived her, they would all act so oblivious smh
There was a story about a teenage girl who got unalived by her 28 year old co-worker. She begged them to switch shifts so she wouldn’t have to see him as he kept harassing her…companies like this are trash and need to be sued..
The manager was a female. it was a quick reference in the story so I almost missed it.
@@jainthorne4136 Sometimes we are eachother's worst enemies. Some women are so brainwashed by patriarchy they genuinely despise other women.
Women are not stuck up. Women are not interested in being engaging in conversations.
Especially, if it's unwanted sexual attraction
Betty Wright said "you can't show your teeth to every guy you meet". In other words you cant be nice to every man.
Yes!!!! I love Betty's sayings!
@@Sophine i remember hearing it as a young girl and asking my granny what it meant. She told me and that line has stayed with me
She also said "a piece of a man is better than no man" 😂😂😂😂
Betty Wright is a pickme herself. Her songs are awful.
@@come_on_barbie_123 surely did!
I once smiled and said “good morning” to a man at a 7-11 while I was getting my coffee, so naturally he followed me to my workplace and tried to get my phone number. I’m sorry, but some men make it impossible to be even casually nice to them.
Disgusting behaviour you can't give them anything 🤨 that why I don't even do that if I can help it haha
What's so weird to me is this idea women should be nice and friendly to everyone all the time especially to men. I grew up in a bicultural family. Father's side is Danish. I remember being warned against being overly friendly with male acquaintances let alone random men. Not to say I was taught to be unnecessarily mean but I was told men get the wrong impression if you are friendly. Be polite and curt. My grandma used to also say to save your pearls for those who deserve it. Pearls being your teeth. Basically you are not obligated to smile for everyone.
That's great advice!
Have you ever felt like you were being punished or had retaliation against you for not "playing along" with their "friendliness/flirtatiousness"?
Because I know sure have!
Especially at work.
@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066 absolutely. Not just punished. I've been called all sorts of names because I don't fake friendliness. Again, I'm not mean to people for no reason but I also don't play nice just because I'm apparently supposed to. Somehow that automatically makes me a mean or stern person.
Scandinavia is like the only part of the West that doesn't treat non extroverts like dirt.
It's mostly US culture that's like that. Being super pleasant and friendly is kind of something we're all pushed to be, but especially women.
It's the reason why people in other countries get kinda freaked out when they visit here and folks greet them with hearty "Good Mornings!" and a full set of smiling teeth. That aggressive friendliness is a cultural staple, unfortunately.
i love this. screenshotting it for future visitation.
And theyll say shit like "you miss 100% the opportunities you dont take" when it comes to approaching women not realizing how sick it is to admit we are opportunities to them and not people. These are opportunists. And you know who else is an opportunist? A predator.
Exactly! And a lot of the time they don't even really like you like that. They're only looking for a chance to get the kitty cat and take whatever els they want before they ruin your life because they can't simply move on without destroying you
The Hunt, the Chase.
"shoot your shot" why do we think they're dangerous with metaphors like that
@@seabreeze4559 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 it's a basketball reference re re
I’m in a relationship and yes I’m mean to RANDOM MEN who approach me when I go out alone and they won’t leave me alone. I don’t owe a STRANGER anything and a lot of men think you being nice to them means you want them. I had to ask my man to go with me everytime I go shopping now because of men approaching me and following me around the store.
Exactly
I hate that I have to alter who I naturally, genuinely am because of guys thinking you like them😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
They are predators and stalkers
Oof, I get it. I literally got chased by some random guy at dollar general. After I found my mom and stayed close to her, he kept following me more slowly, and just walked a distance behind us for a little while.
we needed chaperones because men are really that bad
When I’m nice to them they think I’m flirting. I’m not.
I used to be so confused how me smiling was flirting? like dang can't I jut acknowledge you as a human, well apparently not, I now barely smile at anyone including women, everyone gets the resting bitch face.
@@ericamena333same
@@bunnybeetle1304 I know and the whole concept is weird ASF to me honestly 😳😳😳
@@bunnybeetle1304 I know and the whole concept is weird ASF to me honestly 😳😳😳
Men will be so nice to women they want access to. The way my high school and college male friends started treating me as I got older and settled down really confused me. They were unnecessarily rude, sarcastic and combative. All this time I thought these men were actually my friends but they were really lying in wait. Gross!
wanting fwb when that isn't real
Yep!
Because some women just go to the grocery store to get groceries or to the gas station for gas, not to collect numbers. Also wish men would stop pulling up behind women's cars in parking lots to stop them from leaving. Iy makes you feel fight or flight not flirty. Also saying you can be friends when a woman says she has a man is desperate.
It's SO desperate and so annoying.
Then they get upset bc someone called them a creep. They have no idea how creepy their behavior is.
Food for thought, the highest numbers of PTSD sufferers are w-m-n. That fight or flight response? Sound familiar? I've felt the same and some days, after going through yet another horrible interaction with a non bear, I'd spend the rest of the day dealing with flashbacks of past abuse.
@@rtphotos4691the non bear reference makes my day😂
I’ve ditched friends who were only my ‘friend’ because they were waiting for me to be single. Like heck am I gonna have a ‘friendship’ literally BUILT off that mentality.
You know what’s sad I’m 58 that’s not the sad part. A man in a wheel chair looking like life beat the hell out of him and you can’t see he was also an alcoholic had spoke I said hello, he had the audacity to say to to me”why won’t you smile”? I sad to him “do I look like a damn clown”? He tried to go back and forth with me until I told him “your lucky I f-ing spoke”! I’m lucky he didn’t run me over with his wheels, even in that state, they still think they’re entitled,the nerve.
Lmao 😂 they are pitiful. And damn right because you ain’t have to say ish to that man
should've said why won't you walk
@@nooneasked32🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀
Why do they want us to smile. Who randomly smiles while they’re out walking and running errands….like leave me alone 😭
Your story had me triggered 😂😂. I was in my early 30s and looked about 10 years younger... no kids or men to age me, lol. This man, probably in his 60s, rolls up in one of the grocery store carts. Not even his own cart! Looking like the wall fell on him. Talking about 'Hey girl'. I didn't realize he was talking to me, so he said it again. I turned around, saw him, and saw the cart. I said NO! HELL NO! Keep rolling, and turned back around...that mfer no longer existed in my reality. The lady in front of me laughed but at the same time asked me why was I so mean. I said he had no chance in all hell. So why even play with him? But I carry everything mace, a stun gun, and the great equalizer. So I shut shit down immediately. I'm not always so blunt, but I don't smile at men if I don't want to, and I don't give out my number to keep the peace.
Because men think you like them if you're being kind.
yes thats right,
I'm 42. I was telling a male acquaintance about how I was stalked by a male customer in his 50's when I was 17 working at McDonald's. His response? Well some people have a certain personality that makes people stalk them. Excuse me? He tried unsuccessfully to explain. So at 17, I gave off come stalk me vibes to middle aged men? Got it. Oh and He's in law enforcement
WTF....
That’s fcking disgusting🤦🏾♀️
What?! 🙄 they are insufferable
Wow 😮 I really didn't see this one coming😂
The guy is a predator as well so that's why he was making excuses for the old creep. DISGUSTING!!!
I had to learn to say nice words WITHOUT smiling.
YEP! I sound robotic and cold while saying nice things because that's the best approach.
YES. This helps a lot, no one can actually tell me I’m being “rude”. I SAID all the right things.
Honestly? Never thought of this. Totally deploying it from now on. Thank you so much!! 🩶
That’s pretty funny to imagine
This is also why men who are exotic dancers rarely see any women at their club unless it is a batchelorette party. The women are engaging in performative women's empowerment and acting silly but in reality most of them would have no interest in the dancer for a short-term fling or a long term relationship. And they definitely understand that the man is on the clock and not interested in them. So many men really think that exotic dancing girls really like them because the girl remember ls their name. Who would not remember a name and give a big smile to the person who handed them $1k last week? They also think the OF girl really likes them because she gave them a shout out after the guy paid thousands. This is the real source of their anger. Not "gold diggers". They are upset because they have no discretion.
Some don't know the difference. A guy on another post was talking about gold diggers and he said go to the strip club and watch them come running if they know you have alot of money. The women in the comments were tearing him up. I said sir, you do know that's what they are supposed to do. Its their job to get your money. You didn't really think they came over to you because they liked you did you? SMDH
@@ninaj.4885 right. The ones who do have a little discretion are angry. They can't just see the world for what it is. It's neutral.
manipulation and coercion specifically, they think they can "change our mind" like a dog bribed with treats - why do you think they bring us chocolates? TREATS
@@ninaj.4885 "it says more about you, dude"
I remember my wannabe player older brother implying that a Hooters waitress wanted to see me again, when we were done eating, paid the check and getting ready to leave, but I corrected him and said, she simply meant to come again to eat at Hooters, then he says "Don't be a moron!".
Haha, my ex used to eat it up whenever a cute, young salesgirl would act nice to him for a sale. He walked around like he was a GQ model the rest of the week. 😆
@@Ccl2tb lol, amazing how men can be so out of touch with reality.
Wow I was just about comment similar. Many years ago in my 20s ( I'm 42 now lol) I worked a fulltime job through the week, and on weekends, I worked at Hooters during my Masters studies. Alot of dudes took kindness and attentive service as "you wanting them". I was about my money, and made a lot of money on weekends. Wasn't there to "make friends" and had to tell a few dudes that.
@@kimberly6243 yeah, it's the only way to get through to them sometimes, just by flat out telling them you're not looking.
@@Ccl2tbthat's kind of sad. Do you know how easy it would be for one woman with less than good intentions to take advantage of him?
I have a naturally upbeat, bubbly personality and I've been told I'm an attractive woman, but I've learned to be stonefaced in public, especially around men due to their entitled behavior. No eye contact, no smiles, and no acknowledgement when they try to talk to me. One of my favorite interactions I had was some scumbag trying to flirt with me in front of his wife, but I completely ignored him and said to his wife, "I'm sorry that you have to deal with him". She perked up and smiled while he seemed surprised, then embarrassed. 😂😂😂
I'm stuck in the service industry currently. It's my part-time gig.Can't wait for that to end. Anyway my resting bitch face be on fleek!!!!
And whenever I give a man a compliment , I try to sound like a man giving a man a compliment like , for example. That's a fresh shirt, dude!
It’s so hard for those of us with naturally bubbly personalities who love to smile to be conscious of this. But I’ve learned if you give a man an inch they’ll take 17 miles. No more smiles over here anymore. Unless it’s a super old man or someone faithfully married. Everyone else can kick rocks
The woman asking the question is giving authentic pick-me energy.
And she is.
Definitely.
I pray she does not learn the hard way like I did
@2006glg She's caping for the very men who will never, EVER choose her. Smh
. I hope she don’t get used to.
A guy I followed on instagram asked a similar question. He said many women approached him and complimented him on his “look”. He asked why women just didn’t ask for his number instead of complimenting him. I replied, “every woman that says something nice to you doesn’t necessarily want you.” I was blocked of course 😂
Men should know true fear. Fear that goes beyond legal consequences.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Finally someone said it.
Lol, I agree. They have too much audacity.
Men will interpret ANYTHING as interest. Eye contact even. Noticing their existence. Etc.
Yup, attention in some form is all they need to put things in motion
Some men take the smallest human kindness as flirtation. Sir all I said was thank you for holding the door, now move.
I know, right? It's ridiculous
My mom got upset with me for being standoff-ish and curt to a neighbor. My mom gave him her number and showed me creepy texts he sent her but she wants me to be nice to him? No. I'm not putting myself at risk
she wants you to take the danger off of her
@seabreeze4559 Maybe, but my mom is the type to want to look like everyone's savior. So it could just be that too. Either way, I'm not playing that stupid game
@@Lassoducky Your mom is playing a dangerous game with her life. Tell her that she cannot play that game with your life.
@cheriremily9360 yeah I'm standing firm. It hasn't stopped her comments but at least she isn't doing anything behind my back
In certain situations I can’t help being less than friendly. The amount of times I was hit on while visibly pregnant 🤢. I’m talking 3rd trimester swollen ankles waddling like a penguin pregnant.
I also hate when men hit on me in front of my kids! It always happens in the checkout line or the parking lot. What infuriates me is when they start speaking to my kids. Even when I explain that I am married they still keep going. If someone refuses to take no for an answer I don’t owe them niceness.
There is never a reason why grown men should be talking directly to kids, especially in front of their parents. I would even be cautious of women doing the same. You never know whose side they're on.
💙
That is so creepy! I'm sorry!
There is a fetish for pregnant women existing! Maybe these men approched you, because they have this fetish.
I stepped down as GM for a large retailer and took a 15K pay cut in order to work a role that doesn't require me to interact with customers. The sexual harassment from customers was outrageous! The men seriously thought that good customer service equated to flirting. I also had multiple stalkers! Guys who I didn't recognize would approach me and say, "Hey I saw your car outside so I came in to say hi". Once I was at home removing groceries from my trunk and a guy stopped his car and yelled out, "Hey! Don't you work at ___?" I had no idea who he was, but he now knows where I live. Now, even though I work in the back away from costumers, on 4 separate occasions men have seen me and walked behind the counter and into the back area (where customers do not belong) to approach me! I don't feel safe anywhere. I only leave the house when it's absolutely necessary!
That's terrible! Scary! Sorry. 😢
talk down in your chest tell them this is a restricted area and they will meet with security next if you don't have security it's the cops or have the front desk folks move him out. Males change their behavior I've noticed when I speak down in the chest cuz males do this to one another to T-pose for dominance.
Wow so srry
Lord have mercy. Stay safe, girl.
@@loveyourselffirst549 I carry a knife…I’ll get a gun soon. Luckily my new position doesn’t keep me at the same location long. Last Thursday a guy came up there twice looking for me. I didn’t come out the first time and told them to tell him I was in a meeting..he came back hours later and asked for me again. I never gave this guy any reason to think I wanted him, I even told him I was in a relationship so I couldn’t give him my number. So this time I came out and told him he was scaring me and that him coming to my job multiple times a day made me uncomfortable. I haven’t seen him since, I hope he stays away.
Said hi to a man in the supermarket once and he was outside waiting for me. Followed me in his car drive-by speed just saying crao! Even after I told him I was married.
CC permit. I mentioned that I was carrying when a guy was walking behind me. He turned around real fast and walked across the road. Don’t let thee guys mess with you like this.
The supermarket stokers are the worst...
Because men think so highly of themselves so any "nice" gesture is considered flirtation and leading them on or consent to SA. Oh but she smiled, dude she was so into me.
The audacity of men astounds me. Smh.
They always interpret anything that suits their agenda, even though it's far from the truth of their victim.
I've been platonic "friends" with a man i met online for almost 18 years who lives in Canada. I use friend lightly because he's more of an associate to me. Cool pplz never the less. I live in America and maybe about 5 times or so, he's asked to come visit me and I've always declined. I like our online friendship, that's what works for me.
Tell me why this man RANDOMLY asks me why I've never sent him a thirst trap and can i please do it because he's had a crush on me all these years 🤯🤯🤯🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🙄🙄😬😬😬
I'm like "what do i gain from sending a friend that? That's weird"
His retort was his unrequited crush for me.
Men are actually M A D in the head.
You can't have platonic friendships with men because if they find you attractive, they will play the long game. If they DON'T find you attractive, the will STILL try to sleep with you because now that they've gotten to know you, they're fake inlove with fake feelings lol.
You can't make it up
@manifestelle said this too, love her🖤🖤
Did you block him?
@@Delilah513 yes.
fake friendships, all of them
@@valery5900 they think can upgrade the friendship because the whole thing was fake
Being nice to a random man got me stalked for 9 years. It also got me followed around and groped TONS of times at conventions when I cosplay. 🙄
I'm really sorry😢
Geezz!
I had random males run up to me start humping me and taking photos of it! Males can make cons beyond unsafe!
I completely agree with this video. I do have a serious resting face so I don't mind when people ask me am I okay, but it's always some dusty man telling me to "smile sweatheart"... I'm like "dance, since we making demands bro...DANCE!" 😂😂😂
"gimme a twenty" debby from addams family values style
Lol …. “dance” I gotta use that one 😅
Second, I used to work for hotels at the front desk and all the slimy scumbag losers who would always try a thing with me, stalking, flashing, following me, being perverted, etc.
Same! I worked for Marriott for 4 years. My managers would always get on my ass to write personalized welcome cards telling them to “just let me know if I can do anything to make the stay special !” to guests that I was suppose to slip under their doors at the end of my shift. Guess how many freaking business men took that the wrong way. 🙄
I’ve learned you can’t be friendly to most men. I had a friendly conversation with a new coworker. Next thing you know he’s coming up to me with food he bought me, that I never asked for. Nice right. Nope he wrote his phone number on the receipt in the bag. That’s was very manipulative to me. The next day my supervisor sent a group text to him and I. He immediately got my number and started texting me. He felt entitled to access to me outside of work because he bought me food I never asked for. I told him off when I got to work now he avoids me. He’s lucky I didn’t report him.
that manager was probably applying the bro code of males help males right there!
@@destroyraiden the manager is a stud lesbian.
Just two days ago I had a male process server try to serve my estranged husband show up at my door. I had to tell him that my husband isn’t here and doesn’t stay here anymore. He proceeded to sit down on my porch and try to ask me if I wanted any friends or company cuz I was just too gorgeous and I’m thinking I just had to tell this strange man I live alone and he’s not posted up on my porch asking me out and all I did was answer the door and give honest answers to his questions. It reminded me why I just don’t even bother answering the door anymore.
I hope ur safe, fam. ❤
Let his boss know, and make a police report.
@@Rickettsia505 who the fuck is his boss? Do you know? I don’t even know the dude’s name. 🤣. You think I’m gonna ask for this dude’s manager’s information when he knows where I live. No thank you!
Girl, you should of just say "have a good day❤" and close the door as soon as he started his foolishness, its just not worth even arguing with these men.
@@Mikkaray014 absolutely. I don’t even know why I answered the door. Usually I don’t. 😂
Stuck up means I’m better than you what we are doing is called being safe.
I have to put on my mean face when I'm in public because some of these men will take your niceness for flirting and when you reject them not all but some lash out violently so I have to be very careful.😮
This especially in NYC I keep a resting bitch face and keep 1 ear pod in and I always walk with a urgency these men are insane
@@helena3631porn rly has these men thinking with pure delusion lmaoo
Even resting b face doesn't work. I don't make eye contact and avoid places they can be altogether.
It's so true. You know if a guy thinks you're unattractive if you are polite to him and he is rude back. The clown is so vain he thinks you're hitting on him, so he's being rude bc he's not interested. He doesn't realise that you're not interested in him either! 😀 It must be nice to move through the world in such a delulu state, so confident of one's own attractions....😆
One can say they're not interested without being rude, dudes are just generally scummy.
Im always nice bc im in the south and thats just a thing. "That southern charm. Southern hospitality" and i always carry my glock 9 when im not a work. But there was this one time a man approached me when i got off work. I had my gun in my car. I knew this customer from earlier that day, but when he approached me i said "hey let me get something out of my car and I'll be right back." Got to my car, put it in my front pocket, and went back to finish that conversation with the brightest smile. He noticed the gun in my pocket and immediately backed tracked. Saying "oh I was just asking how your day was going. You didnt have to get that." I responded "Thank you for checking on me. I'm alright and its nice to see you're doing well too. This is for my own protection these days you cant really tell who will be friend or foe. I am a black women in the south after all." And he walked tf away. Never saw him again.
It’s so shameful how we have to brandish weapons for them to leave us alone.
I'm so thankful I'm not in service industry anymore... The numerous horror stories involving entitled people and creepy customers are insane.
Completely agree.
The thing is we are trained to be ‘nice’. It’s ingrained in us from childhood that we should be this way irrelevant to how we are actually feeling.
Put on a happy face 😈 even when feeling like you're in the pits of H#ll
this is a little off topic, but it shows desperation in these men. Ladies, ladies, ladies.... PLEASE get your nose out of your phone and earplugs out of your ears when you are IN PUBLIC. DO NOT be distracted...I saw a video yesterday about a man that "relieved" himself on a woman's bare leg at dollar tree. I don't KNOW if she was on her phone or not but if you are aware of your surroundings I am pretty sure that you can spot a man with his hand on himself inappropriately pretty quick and can move away. Every man in the comment section and some women were laughing and thinking it was funny, along with making smart comments. It was sick...nothing has changed. I am 54 and when I was 15 and men would expose themselves to me, whenever I called the cops or asked for help from another man I was met with laughter or even a smile on their face. As a nurse, I was told to "deal with it" you're a nurse and was met with laughter and joking from the nursing station from other nurses. I cannot tell you the number of diseases you can contract from bodily fluids and believe me when I tell you, due to that man's actions, if he does not get held accountable, he will take it to the next level, and it will be some random woman's face or perhaps even a child the next time he does it....PLEASE be safe, stay aware, get off that phone. They are WATCHING and they are getting more and more BRAZEN.
Wow interesting, my earphones are my favorite thing to use ,they always like to cat call you and it's so annoying .I remember a man said to be the girl that don't talk to people? Like they can't leave us alone .
She was WORKING!! 🙄
I agree its unsafe to have your ipods in when you can't hear him coming. Now some product back in the 90s was made briefly as personal spy ware it plugged into your ears and you could hear for quite a range if you found that and had that in you would be find cuz you'd hear him coming.
What can suck even more for some people with being vigilant and aware is what I struggle with. Even without my phone or headphones, which i don't wear in public now, is that I have fatigue issues and ADHD, so I'm often oblivious on either end of the distraction scale. Too tired to notice, or to in my own mind to notice. It just sucks so much that everything is set up to be so dangerous...
When I was in college around 18 (I’m in my 30’s now), my professor told us this very thing. I don’t know if she found it from a study but she said men believe every woman they encounter wants them. Doesn’t matter what they do or don’t do, but it becomes a greater thought when you are actually nice to them. They believe it’s confirmed that you do want them if you’re nice. This is why ever since then, I am MEAN to men😂😂😂 and not even really mean, I’m just straight to the point with them and no smiling because I don’t even want you to think inside your head that I want you even for a second😂😂😂
This is so true, I've even seen it with my own male cousins and some classmates at varsity.
I once got into a heated debate with a guy where he insisted that it wouldn't matter how much I didn't initially like a guy, as long as that same guy kept persistently pursuing me to the point of harassment I would eventually give in 😐 Doesn't that sound a lot like coercion and "grape" to anyone?
It was so scary to hear that coming from someone who was only 21 at the time and my own cousins would brag about all the girls they can "bag with no effort", meanwhile the girls in question were only being nice to them and had no romantic interest in them at all.
This is why I think a lot of men in their late 30s and 40s assume that they'll have harems of women at their beck and call, especially younger attractive women.
@@cyanrose499 pursuit predation and magical thinking delusions
@@cyanrose499 polite is not nice, nice is not interested
Yeah, it pisses me off that they have such audacity to think I'd want anything to do with them 🥱 Even the thought of them possibly imagining scenarios with me in them disgusts me, like the potential disrespect 🤢
Serious question: how did we end up being afraid of the accusation of "being mean"?
Even the words strung together in that phrase indicate the person using it has limited self awareness and limited vocabulary.
I can be apprehensive, coy, furtive, secretive, grey rock, shielded, stand-offish and dismissive of m@le attention, depending on the risk level.
But "mean" isn't a descriptor and really should fall out of use.
@@Egg_Apron Call me mean I don’t care I’m only 4’11, the most I get called is “ evil lil bitch” I’m good with that lol.
probably due to if a woman as considered mean she'd not be sold off to her future husband and her family at their wits ends of having her past the age of puberty didn't want to keep her as to them and patriarchy said she can't be a viable wife past 30 or some such thing. It was a rule made to aid males more under patriarchy.
and prude is short for prudence, a form of WISDOM!
we're "mean" on time and energy, they think we're hoarding from them
they think we're hoarding our energy from them like a public utility
@@destroyraiden past puberty? women in the middle ages in england married in mid 20s
No disrespect she is friendly because she has to... Don't look at me as a option and you are not the choice period....
2024 and women still don’t get it.
Make no eye contact, don’t smile. Don’t even look their way.
I never make eye contact I am respectful and quiet
Women shouldn't have to "get it". Men need to.
Unless the guy is attractive then you drop your own logic
@@The_Lovey_Informerof course...😂 the point is, to keep the men u dont want away and focus on the ones u do...
Been doing that for years, still getting catcalled, there ain't no winning
It’s hard to be friends with men because they think you like them, which gives them the green light to ask you out or formulate all these romantic ideas about you. It’s annoying because when they ask you out, and you turn them down, or when they see you talking to someone you actually like, they may start spreading false rumors about you. Sometime, they will even spread false rumors to the person you like. I learned this the hard way, and I am still learning it.🤦🏽♀️
This happened to me this week. He was a "nice guy" who suddenly got entitled. Than when I set a boundary he immediately spread rumors about me so I basically got blacksheeped from our social setting. Not one person even asked me my side. (Were adults, were not even kids smh) Sad part is if he had really been a nice guy I might have dated him based on a foundation of friendship and kindness. But men are narcissistic and demand what they want RIGHT NOW! If they don't get it, they throw a tantrum
@@Khaegch-favh You mean they throw a MAN-trum!
@@Khaegch-favh How accurate. It's like most of them have the lowest of EQ. They literally don't listen to our No's... A male friend asks you out, you decline. Acts like he's fine with it then asks you again in a few weeks. Then the cycle continues over and over again. And when you're over the BS and opt out of the friendship, he acts like you led him on. It's so exhausting and I am currently not having any male friends and I don't desire to ever.
Was talking to a guy from my business school: we talked on the phone sometimes and one day, he reacted when I didn't call him for few months. I was surprised because he was just a guy I know, not even a friend. Few weeks later, he asked me if we could be FWB (?!?) which ended immediately our "connection".
Saw him months later with his friend staring at me and I suspect him of spreading a false rumour to his friend because his friend was looking at me very weirdly.
Funny thing: the dude was way out of my league and it was a priviledge for him to be seen with me. This is my last time being nice to a dude: they can be very dangerous actually, bad mouthing you and your reputation and thinking they got a chance with you because you smile to them 🥴😵💫
they complain about false allegations but men commit most sexual slander
Yea, I was followed home by someone from my work. I had to lie and say that my boyfriend was upstairs so he would leave. This is why I would wear oversized/ masculine clothes on purpose.
It's so twisted and sick that we have to be less than our authentic selves just for some peace out in public.
It work.i wear oversized manly clothes.i hate that eye rap@ing
The lady at 8:30 talking about grown men pulling over to talk to 12 year old her, I felt that deep in my soul.
This is so true. I literally just experienced this over the weekend.
I attended a party this weekend. It was a classy event. Of course, I was dressed impeccably. As it was a social event, it is natural to smile, say hello, and engage in conversation.
As the night was ending, I was speaking to the host of the event and one of his friends and exchanging pleasantries.
The host then excuses himself. We say our good nights and I proceed to walk to my car.
The other person, a man, "politely" offers to walk me to my car and I accept. He then opens the car door after I unlocked it and as I am settling into the driver's seat, he asks if he can take me out to dinner.
I respectfully declined and told him that I was "spoken for."
It is definitely true. They are only "nice" when they want something from you and/or when they find you attractive.
The more I became friends with men, the more comfortable they became being misogynistic around me. The only one that wasn't was married, the rest were single. Go figure
You should hang out with their wives instead and tell them
I was always the "proud, mean, cold, bitch/witch" to men most of the time because they are only tolerable when they don't like me as far as I'm concerned. Because they keep every interaction straight to the point and short due to my 'attitude', it wasn't that they didn't find me attractive, it was that they hated my guts and resented me for not even attempting to be "nice". I'm always very formally polite and the vibes i gave off made them so hesitant to cross the obvious boundaries i set. So many boys/men hated me ao much right from second school because i was just so "proud" 😂. Everytime I've had to deal with the "smile more, why are you always frowning?" Line from people but i rather have a man's disdain and respect than his unwanted attention anyday.
The problem is when you're friendly with men they think that gives them the mandate to cross lines. I'm friendly with men because I have to not because I want to. I HATE that I have to be friendly because I need a service from them or because I don't want insults to be hurled at me or be attacked.
I hope this changes for you. A work place like this is terribly toxic ❤
I asked a male acquaintance why this was, and he said, "Men are desperate for female attention because women received more love as children."
To this day, I still don't know what to make of that statement.
They are narcissists
Always needs to be a woman's fault. How about the dad, the society?
That's hogwash.
So, he's saying he has mommy issues? Seriously, most women baby their sons way too much.
Aren't dudes babied more, loved more, respected more?
I am not trying to be mean but the young lady who asked the question does not regularly get harassed by men so she truly doesn’t understand how frustrating it is when a man can’t understand the word no.
🎯🎯🎯 She's sitting around wanting someone to approach her ass.
Exactly!!! Bcuz what nonsense is she asking
I work as a waitress i had complimented 3 men who are old enough to be my dad then they would get extremely touchy and forciful after telling them i am taken and just trying to be nice. Now i only compliment women i serve
There are many occasions where I regret greeting or smiling around men. I had to beg a man once to not follow me home. All I did was be polite to someone I ran into. Had to change my route home, because he kept walking behind me.
I have similar regret. It causes chest pain 😂😅
I remember I got catcalled on my way to work, and the idiot was like " you're so pretty!! why don't you smile? Smile!" I told him to F off and that I was not smiling because my dad died two weeks prior. He felt stupid and apologized, but ( a bit unhinged on my part I will admit) started yelling at him that I was not a prop in his day to make him feel special and followed by a bunch of insults... I was hurt and thinking that this stranger thought I owed him a smile when you could clearly see that I was absolutely broken made me absolutely flip on him.
God, that is so creepy when men do that. My physics teacher kept telling me to smile, and he was getting in my face (I was sitting at the front of the class), and I kept awkwardly grimacing at him, hoping he was going to continue the lesson as I absolutely sucked at Physics. Now I would tell him I had nothing to smile about as was in a Physics lesson but 16 year old wouldn't have dared. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your dad, that couldn't have been easy even if it was years ago.
I don't think there was any unhinged about your response. I would've done the same.
@@Imreallyboredsick well thank you
@@Imreallyboredsick Thank you very much for your kind words. And it is horrific, as a teacher myself, I could not imagine doing that to any kid!
Not unhinged at all! He got scared straight like he deserved. Men NEVER learn by words, they learn from CONSEQUENCES.
Unfortunately as women we’re also conditioned to be nice in every situation, even when being disrespected!
I screamed when she said a man m*sturbated in front of her. 😭 Holy shit that made me angry.
Some men act like they are tired of women being so scared of them.
Like sir….you think this sh*t fun on this side? 🤨
I'm not mean to anyone, I'm just either responding to their behavior towards me with the same energy or I'm simply ignoring them, not giving them the time of day. If I'm really in the mood for some fun, I act like I don't speak the language and I don't understand anything they're saying, that really grinds their gears😂😂
I was just praying about my patience for men,, i truly don’t like them right now.
Seriously, that has been a main topic of my therapy sessions for a year now.
Ditto. Stay safe, fam❤
Keep avoiding men. They are being judged for their actions.
Felt this 😪🤢🙏
I'm honestly really proud of all the women that can be assertive and cold to strange men because I am always such a freezer and so painfully passive and it's gotten me into so many awful situations that could be avoided by being more outspoken and firm. I aspire to be more like you ""mean"" ladies
Start reading books on serial killers and then imagine you have an aura of pure bitch around you. My dad would call me a female chauvinist when I was in my teens. I might not dressed like a punk, but I was a punk.
ooh I feel your pain this is me too! I'm reading a book called "The Nice Girl Syndrome" which talks about beung a Strong Woman instead of a Nice Girl 👍 yup, working on that. Good luck to all of us!
They think I’m hitting on them and it’s annoying when I’m just trying to be pleasant and polite. I had my work partner (I’m an EMT) tell me “oh I thought you liked me when we first started working together and that you were flirting with me!” and I had to say “You are not my type in any way, shape, or form. I have never thought of you that way and I never will”. He tried convincing me how attractive he is/was for the next hour 😑 Mind you, he was married at the time we started working together and still was when he told me all this.
Lol! Ain't nobody acting more single than a married man. I had sleazy married supervisor that actually was so creepy to one of my coworkers that she and a few others quit.
Man, it’s not even about attraction. If a man is desperate enough, he’ll be ‘nice’ to any woman who gives him the time of day because he expects random women to be his support instead of his guy friends. They’d rather burden strangers.
12:24 "You have to worry about being viewed as a creep, while we have to worry about death. "
in the gift of fear, Gavin de Becker, the anti stalking guy actually advises women to be rude to for this very reason.
he also points out people need to stop enabling assholes. I wish other people would get that memo.
People need to stop blaming women for putting up a wall when men approach them. How is that our fault? Blame the men who made that a necessary defense mechanism.
Thank you for this video, I needed to be reminded of there still being compassion. Lately I've seen too many videos online where women are shamed for not being nice or fun when approached by strange men.
Although sometimes I take it for granted, this is one of the many reasons I am thankful for my resting b-face. A while ago, this happened twice in one week, I was at the gas station getting snacks before my class, and both times, black men, both looked old enough to be my father, were trying to talk to me.
Why is it so hard for others to understand that maybe some people don’t want to be bothered? That they want to handle their business and keep it moving? You should not have to be “friendly” to everybody unless you want to. After all, you don’t even know them.🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I wish my resting b-face was enough to get men to leave me alone.
Unfortunately, it's not.
@@Rose-kj7rz for me, it’s a hit or miss.😅
Yeah, I basically ignore men I don't already know unless they are introduced to me by someone else. Makes things very simple. I'm uninterested in boosting their egos or being desired.
Nice for what? They're users and emotional vampires.
💯🤡
I feel like men lure women with friendship. Thus creating situationships and boosting his ego about the many women around him. Don't fall for the friendship card unless it's genuine and has strong boundaries.
I was polite to a taxi driver and he came back to my house at 11pm and stood outside my window murmuring "mummy".
Another man who was a complete stranger kept returning to my front porch between 2-3am and would just stand in the corner staring. I was barely 18 and it was absolutely terrifying, when I would see him I would be paralyzed with fear and the police did nothing. It went on for MONTHS, this happened about 10-13yrs ago and I still have the sensation of fear and violation. Another man would chase me with his dog when I would go to the shops, I stopped leaving my house in the evenings. Honestly being a woman is terrifying 😔
Yikes😢
Yes this happened to me too 15 years ago.. At the time I lived alone in an urban neighborhood and there was a house up the street where there were several guys that hung out at the house and they were always looking at me and hollering for me and I would ignore them..One night I was home with my soft romantic music playing while soaking in the tub..My doorbell started ringing and I looked o 2:25 ut my peephole to see one of the guys from up the street on my porch uninvited at 2am..I turned off the porch light and my music and he left
I hate when men do creepy stuff like that thinking it's cute.. It's NOT!!! It is scary and I blame porn and loose women..They see in porn these scenes where a woman just opens her door to a strange man or the hoes out in these streets who will be available to strangers..My incident only happened once so I can imagine your fear with the weirdo coming back several times
If you ever want a man to get out of your face just mention money. If he asks why you're not smiling just say my roommate ran off with our $4000 in rent money then turn around and walk away. I guarantee you that man will leave you alone!!!
My Resting 🐝 face is always plastered on when I move about in the city. Being nice and polite to men can be very dangerous 😢
This reminds me of the netflix documentary about the cheating site. There was a man on there who had a s3x addiction and he would tell his wife, the barista in the coffee shop has been flirting with me. The lady in front of me in the queue at the supermarket was fluttering her eyes at me. No sir, its you, you're the problem.
I was 24 waiting in line for the ATM and this older man was waiting behind me and we started chatting and he said his youngest daughter was a year younger and his oldest was 30 and seemed really nice. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend and licked his lips while staring at my breasts 😒 So gross.
That’s disgusting. Wtf.🤦🏾♀️
I’ve had multiple men beg me to be with them in a relationship even though I’m already in a happy relationship, I’ve told them multiple times about my boundaries and platonic feelings, no matter what, they ALWAYS TRY. It’s so predatory, it’s terrifying.
Some men will literally misinterpret the smallest of actions and try to invade your personal space. I have worked in the service industry both retail and call center and have had men old enough to be my father openly flirt with me while trying to help customers and one of them mentioned even staring at my body and felt comfortable enough to tell me that and another one wouldn’t leave my line until I gave him my social(this was late at night too).When I’m out and about I walk fast to avoid some random trying to stop me and both me. I’m out running errands and you’re a complete stranger, I don’t owe you my time nor do I need to give you my name
Literally one of the most attractive things about my boyfriend is that he respected that I needed a slow pace in our relationship. I can talk to him about where my boundaries are and he'll listen, actually listen and remember. He's not perfect at it but fucking hell, at least he's trying hard to be a good man to me.
Early in our relationship, I had another dude vulgarly harass and sexually proposition me somewhere I felt safe and I was lucky that the people running it were taking none of that. And still I was scared to tell my boyfriend cause what if he blamed me, what if he got angry with me, what if what if.. all those BS things in my head from other people throughout my life. And you know what he did?
He was concerned about me, he was relieved that the event coordinators listened to me and the others who had been harassed & they took action. He stayed up late to make sure I got home safe and was able to calm enough to sleep. He offered to go with me to future events in case that dude ever came back; even though it wasn't his thing, even though it would cost him money and time because he knew I had enjoyed the space. He wanted me to feel safe, he was willing to leave work immediately and stay with me. He respected when I said I'd take time away from the space and when I choose to come back, he was relieved that the staff had booted the guy and thankful that they checked in with me for a while after.
And none of this is to say he wasn't angry, he was furious at the guy but there wasn't a single second that he was upset with me about it. I wish this was more common, I wish more men could act like this and it seems like often they just weren't raised like that. And I get that but you don't need to be perfect at it. Just try to listen to us, respect our autonomy and agency, and our interests. We're people, everyone is a person with all the complexities that entails.
When I was 18 I worked at a Tahiti shop in underground Atlanta. I was so wet behind the ears. I would call my boss crying after some guy would do or say some absolutely disgusting thing. He would always tell me I was overreacting. Finally I snapped on day after a guy was being so gross that I attacked him and chased him all the way through the place. Security came to question ME because they saw me chasing him. They sided with me though and I had to call and explain why I was away from the cart and all this stuff. This jackass ended up firing me because he said I was some type of sex obsessed freak. He actually said this to me over the phone of course. He called me at work to tell me I was fired. Like what a sack of crap that guy was.
Tbh because they'd take my niceness for flirting etc. People telling me im flirting it actually made me think me being nice was flirting when I wasn't flirting. I was only like 20 and under. I wasn't aware of all this.
I started working from home because of this. I used to work at a gallery and at art shows and there was always some gross creeper who thought I was available to him. One icky little goblin, who faked being Apache, kept after me for a year! He gave me a box of tool shaped chocolates for Valentines. Thankfully he didn’t get dangerous but I’d made it so clear I found him repulsive.
Working from home is sooooo much more peaceful, but I liked taking classes and there was always gross creepers and people who mad excuses for them. I’m throwing elbows these days, especially to the huggers! 😂
I just don't enjoy the way my time, politeness and friendliness is expected, demanded or required!!!
You're punished either way, so I rather keep my own peace and comfort my top priority over anyone else.
I'm a WM who loves this channel, and have got to say that yes, in these situations "mean" is understandable, and men provide good reason for women to be like that. Again, pay close attention to the *WHY* of it.
What does you being White have to do with anything??? 🥴
You ain't gotta be "mean", but dismissive works.
right that is my approach
Sometimes they don't get it.
They don't get it till you're mean
@@BlackRaven000 So many males are deaf to "polite".
I was walking home from work one day and said “hello” to a man that was passing by me on the sidewalk. He turned around and started following me home. Fortunately, I was able to go to a neighbor’s apartment and she let me in. He was waiting outside her apartment for me to come out. She drove me the rest of the way home. I am not one who scares easily, but that really scared me.
Exactly. They get ideas. Even when you’re ugly like me, being nice to some dudes gives them ideas. A bear would never
I am warm but short. they know I"m not being rude but clearly have other things to do than waste energy chit chatting with them. I stay tf from around men, period.
When interacting with men I’m not into, I will be polite, not nice. Big difference.
There's no difference in their minds