The Dark Ways Porn Has Changed Our Society
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- Опубліковано 29 бер 2023
- The constellation of symptoms associated with criminality and its extension into psychopathy is also associated with short-term mating strategies. Pornography tilts people towards a short-term mating outlook, which is a bad idea.
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Free internet pornography is not free, the price is your soul.
Indeed.
That’s why it’s free
Real
Whether there is or not such thing as a soul (that's for another debate), your statement is very accurate, even metaphorically.
It is unfortunately our 11 year old selves that fall victim to this unrestricted trap of powerlessness that porn creates in time
Do not stop discussing this topic please.
Sorry to be the one to have an unfashionable opinion next to conservatives (this doesn't mean I don't have conservative opinions myself, just that I am not bound by shallow, simplistic-masquerating-as-erudite Yahwist thinking, as Peterson is) but porn isn't going anywhere because it isn't a modern thing, it's hardwired into human consciousness with the general strain of 'human sexuality'. Note, I am not saying it is explicitly good either nor that our perceptions, usage etc won't change, just that it won't dissapear. It's surely a pathology in itself to fill every space in thinking with an' I know this is how it is because it is' something symptomatic of Yahwist thinking (very deeply ingrained in the Western mind). Just let every topic sit with an 'I don't know' every now and again, something people in the lofty, detached Ivory towers of higher education will struggle with.
Peterson can't grasp that woke and the educational field (in key but clearly not all areas) have many overlaps. There are many people and even entire nations who, correctly, look at DSM (diagnostic manual of mental disorders) as a 'trendy, new' way of thinking rather than a compendium of incredible ancient and timely insights. (Again, not that there won't be those areas where DSM is broadly applicable, if not overly relied upon as unassailable truth regarding the human condition)
Nikola Tesla for example was diagnosed by the world as being riddled with mental disorders. He often struggled to keep various mental images out of his head as one case in point. Yet we can clearly say that this was also one of his greatest gifts, as invention blueprints would come to him this way. This is hardly an isolated incident. Things labelled as 'mental disturbance' by DSM are notoriously broad. Those vast swathes of phenomena labeled thus by DSM might, as one known alternative view, be labeled as part of a 'spiritual journey' by other cultures.
Tesla's type of OCD, for example, is, amazingly enough, often resolved when sufferers see the spiritual message embedded in the condition. This will be far, FAR beyond Peterson's remit, yet I'd suggest that 'the spiritual', not in the shallow Yahwist sense, but in the profound mystic sense, is at the very core of such disorders.
As someone who is acquaintances with Rogan, Hancock et al (not that Rogan is a particularly in depth thinker, more of a stoner mystic attempt), as well being a man interested in Jung, William James et al, Peterson should have a cursory awareness of this. However, all his interests in psychology are in the 'dusty cobweb' areas of psychology.
This 'cobweb area' might feel like the future, but it's really the same place which woke came from; it's stuck in a loop of non resolution. Clients stuck with therapists who promote this will always be stuck with 'lack of insight' as I believe psychologists call it, as they are, to paraphrase Einstein 'trying to solve problems with the same level of consciousness which created the problem'.
To see porn from the modern Conservative, Yahwist view, is the same level of consciousness as to see it from a 'stone em down for even having blood in their veins' view of our most barbaric, Wahabbi-Islam-esque Yahwist eras. It's ALSO the same level of consciousness as 'I'm trendy sex positive, I' m always legs akimbo 24/7' consciousness. Yes! these opposing views come from EXACTLTY the same place! You might not see it now, but you will. Those who manipulate your minds, already know what I know regarding this.
Yaweh, the fake God of both the left and right extremes of Western politics and thought, is a great lure for people like Peterson who doesn't yet know how to go where those greats such as Einstein and Tesla went.
Therefore, in conclusion, I say, for the purpose of this thread, nothing about porn. I am making no statement about it, none whatsoever outside of the obvious; the obvious being that it can be harmful and the obvious that some people enjoy it and claim relational benefits from it (yes, you might not like this last point, but if you believe in democracy you must at least listen to points of view as much as is reasonable). I am merely saying, therefore, beyond the obvious, don't put such issues in the hands of those with Yahwist consciousness. These minds are yet waiting to evolve till the day they can look at things from the realm of highly nuanced and sometimes outside the box realm of higher consciousness.
Here's a slight segway to the topic at hand, but it illustrates how academics are so stilted in their thinking. I dated, a while ago, a psychology graduate and she told me that one of her professors was an expert in human sexuality. I heard about all sorts of disorders which were being alalysed by this man. Like Peterson, this professor was using the DSM pathology framework in his studies. I will list a few pathologies and why academics make such a mountain out of, not molehills, but things which you need to take a step back from, rather than applying your second hand DSM knowledge.
CEOs who want to be sexually humiliated; This one is so common that we feel no surprise when we hear about it. The problem with the 'DSM true believer' is that they instantly label this a pathology from their known set of guidelines. In this instance, however, I'd suggest that understanding 'excess' and deficiency' in human interaction, a genuinely ancient way of understanding humans, is more useful. What is it that the CEO has 'deficiency' of in their lives? It's quite clear isn't it, that their pathology is a fake rendering of something real which they need in their lives. No person can have an entirely one sided power dynamic and the CEO is seeking the more 'submissive' or 'listening' aspect to their character in the wrong places. Just like woke is a fake rendering of 'human compassion'
The popularity of BDSM and 'non consentual' fantasies amongst woke people; This one, again will not find resolution amongst 'DSM true believers' because DSM has the auxillary intention to make a lot of money, rather than healing humans. Again, there is an obvious 'deficiency' amongst woke people in this area. Namely, the 'social contractarian' obsessions of woke women means that men can never be men in their presences. This is, ironically, is one of the components of genuine relationship synergy. To compensate for this lack, the woke woman creates the 'excess' of the masculine archetype in her partner; he must do many things 'non consentually' in her presence to feel anything. Once more, a fake rendering of a more natural power dynamic.
The porn true believer; OK, so to come closer to the point of this thread. I have already stated that I don't believe porn will dissappear. However the 'DSM dogmatist', once again might fail in labelling everything a pathology. Someone who spends an inordinate lack of time on porn might have a deficiency in...wait for it as its going to be blindingly obvious... doing the things that actually occur in porn.
Now, someone will say, 'sex isn't really all that heaving and camera angles, mate' but let's run with the premise that it isn't so far of the mark to be unrecognisable, either.
Therefore, the way through may well not be out. The way through is through. Rather shaming people in the typical Yahwist fashion, the way through is knowing your dependency will lessen when you have BECOME the person in that movie in a healthy and sensible degree. Your 'deficiency' has been discovered, you were living your life vicariously rather than having a healthy sex life and a healthy life generally. Doesn't mean you'll never watch porn again, but you'll sure watch it without the same grasping, addictivity and intention as before.
So you see the 'DSM true believer' will always muddy the waters because they don't understand 'excess' and 'deficiency' and how these things will eventually leak out into what we call 'pathology'. It is not ABC simple though because what we think is 'excess' might, in fact, be 'lack'. For example we think a biting dog is excessively confident but, in actuality, it is excessively afraid, and similar notions.
explain this in fortnite terms
*time, not 'lack of' time. Consensual not consentual.
@@Sinjax1 copy paste this transcript and ask chatgpt... You'll be surprised how's doable your request is, lol
As a 25 year old man who is now in the midst of recovering from an addiction to pornography since I was 11, this deeply resonated with me. I used porn to cover unhealed trauma and escape from the chaos of my life. I’m now 4 months clean and feel better than I have my whole life. There is a path out.
Porn messed with the majority of men I believe. I’m one of them I think. I was looking at porn from a young age because every single friend of mine found a stash of magazines in their house and we shared them around constantly! Gave us all an unrealistic view of what we thought women were supposed to be like
@@big_red_machine3547 100% man
Stay strong brother
25 year old here, me too brother
@@aakankinskywalker384 brother, of course you are worthy of love, everyone is. Do not tell yourself that, say the opposite. Otherwise it will cloud your mind. Find ways how to change, see how others do it.
Stopped watching porn from 1 year now, life is better on the other side❤
That is wonderful
Do you have a girlfriend, wife or someone you have intimate relations with if you don't mind me asking? I'm single and don't see people so it's super hard for me to quit porn...
@@thorbeorn4295 I stopped like 3 months ago, the key thing to understand is that you need to quit just watching porn not masturbation, so you can still enjoy yourself just use your imagination like our ancestors did. It's going to be hard to transition straight from porn to nothing so you can do it slowly, maybe just use pictures of sex, then next time maybe just pictures of women etc... until you just dont need it anymore. I did that and it feels 100% better knowing I am in full control, in a way it also reduces the urges to want to do it as you know without porn it will take longer.
Best of all, the post nut guilt feeling is almost non-existent if there is no porn.
Amazing. I'm clean for 60 days now!! It's liberating!
@@thorbeorn4295 It's definitely harder to quit porn, when one is isolated.
Praise God that people are beginning to see the truth of this despicable plague in our society.
I got rejected a lot by other women earlier in my life. I fell down into the porn trap. For a few years I didn't have the courage to go out and face women again. I am 24 years old today and I am trying to stop porn and trying to go out and talk to women, only to find out that everybody else fell into that trap too and people my age are damaged.
But it starts with us. We have to actively speak against porn in all of our discussions when the topic is mentioned.
Keep on changing. I'm proud of you.
You don't get rejected if you don't talk to women. But rejection shouldn't stop you. When you get used to it, it's almost harmless. You invite someone and they say no. What did you lose? Nothing. So don't fear it.
Our generation has been destroyed by unfettered access to the internet from a young age, especially with all the lude and pornographic content that is available to anybody, child or adult.
That's why people who dismiss the manosphere are missing the point. Personally I don't know that much about it. I read 'The Game' and a few websites with a female friend (as that book was everywhere at one point) and my strong instinct was, whilst you could perhaps interpret and apply it the wrong way, 99% of The Game' is stuff you'd learn in business school or in a comedy class to keep conversations going.
If you take out that small percentage which is 'manipulative', you mostly have 'stuff women already know and confident people already know'. I would personally add my own internal code of ethics to any date scenario but a man without a girlfriend, sitting lonely at home with no social confidence is beating it far more than one who has a partner.
Extrapolate the best of any teaching, ignore the parts which don't resonate or which are contrary to your life compass. Some manosphere stuff I read specifically says that it is genuine compentance which men should go for but even confident men can sell themselves short and end up lonely.
Also, your diagnosis is wrong. Women became so woke that you slightly younger men have no one in your generation who will talk to you. This leads you to be at home flapping. It's a continuous feedback loop as you are at home flapping all day, this confirms a woke woman's belief that men are at home fapping all day.
Deep inside these woke women know that all their weird social rules make no sense. Sure, some men are probably strange and you don't want to know them but, contrary to Klaus Schwaub's theories, not all men are rapists.
Its very telling that so many woke women are BDSM and non consensual fantasy friendly. I look at these blue haired women with sprawling underarm hair and grotesque personalities telling men to stop eyeballing them and I can see that they are burning inside. They know, deep down, that they have destroyed the number one thing to relationship synergy. Men having some masculinity about them and women having some femininity about them.
Their overcompensation is this belief that men are giving them the once over on ever street corner, when this couldn't be further from the truth. It trivialises those far fewer incidences when this is truly the case and how you should handle it. Therefore, only by literally creating a rolplay scenario where they have no control and where they are desired with the most unfettered and brutal show of masculine force, can they reclaim some of their true selves.
With Karen's as the new leaders of the notoriously collectivist female tribe, even women who want to join the potential of love, romance and partnership with a good man will find her doubts confirmed.
Young men are indoors, in darkened rooms, bashing themselves all day, broken by those strange woke ideas.
Looking for the solution, therefore, as much as we like to judge it, and I'd suggest that this is a big reason that the system hates Andrew Tate, there does need to be some no BS, almost cocksure men around here and there to break the bubble.
Remember that many social commentators on woke are Ivy Leage educated or are celebrities with a certain established kudos.
Tate thinks closer to how working and to a certain extent middle class people think; that it's time for woke girls just to show the basic respect for a guy and his raw physical force and ability to manifest wealth and action around him with the strength of presence and masculine charisma. This doesn't mean that I think his approach is 'better' than the more erudite approach of Peterson et al, just that people shouldn't squabble over who is 'the real woke fixer'; everyone has a piece of the puzzle.
So yes, I am saying part of this solution to 'men flapping at home all day'. Is the type of confidence which men and women must develop again, in the younger generation. The thicker skin, the higher belief in human ability to handle life.
I like skiing as an analogy because when you ski, it's true that you want some things to he 'safe'; your skis and equipment must meet the minimal requirements.
However, amongst the woke this has been misinterpreted, they have developed proverbial 'ski slope aversion' because they can't control all the dynamics of the piste, or they think they can't. The reason a skier is still 'safe' on harder pistes is because they developed more skill, more life experience, yet the younger generation are not allowed to develop these qualities with wise guides and sometimes alone.
Eventually an impasse will be reached where even these 'most woke' will see how much they stifle life, living and relating. Good luck slightly younger generation where 'most woke' mostly abide, though it is all over to be honest.
Quitting porn was one of the best things I ever did. It seriously changes you in physical, mental, and emotional ways that are not good. I can't believe porn is even legal after what I experienced. It is litteraly poison and causes victims on all sides.
Definitely is damaging and bad
It's like Jesus talking to the Woman at the well. "Everyone who drinks this water will thirst again.".
Porn takes me back to that Joe Rogan podcast with JP and Bret Weinstein when they discuss the 3 mating strategies that men undertake. Long term investment into a single partner to raise kids, pump n dump, and rape. They discussed how the first strategy requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice but that the ultimate prize is a very well raised child that takes your dna into the next generation and is successful. The second is a male fantasy that involves women with low self worth and takes guys down a pathway of hedonism and addiction to sex purely for the dopamine and not for the bonding. The third is self explanatory and horrific.
Porn feeds into the second strategy heavily which causes guys to pursue a hedonistic response from an early age. let me tell you that over time it really fucks with your perception of women and what you want from them. It really fucks your ability to bond with someone else as all you're subconsciously chasing is the dopamine from all the fapping (that also ignores the serotonin release from bonding with someone). Also it drives the market for women acting like hoes because that's what men respond to as a result of being exposed to porn from early teenage years.
Quit that shit.
What episode was it?
@@Jasiel.95 ua-cam.com/video/PvQrFBOyDs0/v-deo.html
Wow. That's incredibly eye-opening. I totally agree with that.
Well said!
I would say it also to a degree steps into the third category, rape, due to the enaction of violent and degradatory acts against women. What is often depicted in even mainstream pornography nowadays, is not 'normal' sex, but violent and degradatory acts.
Porn destroys the beauty of sex.
And your soul
I’ve struggled with this addiction most of my life. I was literally just about to open up a cam account and saw this. I hope this is the first step of a turning point in my life. Thank you Jordan Peterson
Pl awe don’t. 🙏. I’ll pray for you
Jesus Christ is more than willing to be your strength. God help you find peace and freedom🙏🙏
So good your hearing this. So your now aware of the wisdom of how it can be destructive. I hope you’ll find something else that is real and authentic to fill that desire. You might want to consider. The exodus series with Jordan Peterson on daily wire+
Same for me. My most viewed sites are porn sites... It's so hard to drop it...
Your got this!!
Saying “it’s not a good thing” feels like such a bold statement in today’s culture, despite all of the obvious detractors.
I hope everyone who is still trapped in pornography gets out of it. It destroys your life and destroys your soul
Translation for the laymen: Porn subconsciously trains your mind to see people as “commodities” an item for your short term sexual gratification.
"It stops the desperation resulting from lack of relationship, reducing the urgency of self improvement"
That's the paraphrased takeaway that makes the most sense to me.
Nah bro if you ask every man in a relationship they watch a ton of porn😂
Or else they're lying
@@lucacasadei5222 yes and those relationships are riddled with issues and likely a disconnection between partners, the effects of porn aren't fully known, but generally speaking, nobody should be watching it.
that would imply self improvement is the barrier to relationships but in reality the barrier is talking to women or having friends introduce you
Seeing porn at ten stunted my growth more than any drug
So sorry. Prayers for your healing of that wound 🙏
i grew a couple inches my first time seeing it 😉
I am a girl and I was first introduced at 6 cause my dad left it open on the computer.. very sad
@@user-lt1jd1ye3v what the hell
me too man, messed me up big time
I’m so encouraged by how many men have commented here about their positive experience quitting porn. So proud of all of you. ❤
fun fact: most women seem to hate/dislike Dr Jordan Peterson.
The Hookup culture can only be stopped by women only and it will be good for both men and women.
Now if we can get girls to quit prostitution, then that would be even better.
Be quiet serpent.
Statistics show that 1 in 7 women have a pornography addiction. But they are the silent among the population...the ones that never speak
@@thepope9023 ???
I think it's better to answer the question in a concise and impactful way:
- It will make you impotent in real life because you train your brain to get aroused only by watching other people doing it. When you'll get to do it you'll feel an artificial pressure to perform like the actors you see and won't get the same stimuli which means you'll stay soft.
- It turns you over time into a compulsive procrastinator addicted to short term stimuli and contributes to your inability to pursue long term goals - Same for scrolling social media btw
- It prevents you from feeling the frustration that is necessary to take action in real life
- It warps your perception of what sex is about making it more difficult to bond in real life
- It makes you perceive women as very submissive sexual objects instead of interesting people with goals and dreams that might align with yours and with whom you might want to build a family
- It might drift your personality towards psychopathy making you a parasitic predator taking advantage of others to satisfy your needs in various ways
This is what I have experienced from my husband.
I stopped watching porn in November 2022.
The first few weeks were hard, but now I feel detached from the addiction.
I used to solely rely on dating sites for meeting women, but for the first time in years I am talking to girls in irl and asking them out.
Stay strong brothers!
Wow, that’s really cool. Good on you!
All the best.
Dating apps are trap too
@@romeemperor mosty of women use it just because they want to see if they are desired. And I would never say that I meet my partner on internet, would be so ridicoulous
Is masturbation bad? would masturbation a few times a week without porn be better for you than watching porn?
@@tatsi107 In this case I would say it is better to masturbate without porn than watching it.
It changes your perception of women and harms you from getting know and actually bond with them - Porn is really bad for your brain.
My confidence levels are different since being away from it - not going back.
This needs to be talked about more, especially considering the direction young men are going. I’m pleased to see that this is a common discussion topic nowadays but we need to dig deeper and hopefully convince people to eliminate it.
Yeah, but what's the reason that so many young men are using porn? Find that out first!
@@Stilo95 my best guess is simply because they can.
@@sara-lou9825 No, it's because they cannot get laid. And because porn is so addictive, men can't get out of that vicious circle.
@@sara-lou9825 yes, and because they canNOT get a woman! Maybe even *because* of the porn. Because even if they've not got so warped they can't fulfil their offers or try to do all sorts of gross things in bed, women can lose respect or them, or be put off their twisted tastes. Some guys are literally wanking to cartoons these days.
@@Stilo95 It's natural to be attracted to it, then it's addicting. Thank you to JP for explaining the effects so well. This is a very important warning from a brilliant man.
And what I don't see talked about enough is how pornography devastates the confidence that men have with their body, since almost all pornography is with extremely above average size, and by comparison the average man can easily feel completely inadequate due to exposure of seeing that.
We are so distracted on other "problems" while nobody dares to address the Elephant in the room. Drugs and pornography relatively of easy access for younger generations
Just drugs and pornography???? What about the majority of people that have unsecured alcohol in their homes?? How many people started with drinking alcohol as their first experience in the taboo??
Quitting porn is one of the best decisions I ever took, haven't watched it 7 months now
This is why I respect and admire JP. He has the ability to explain traditional moral ethics with modern scientific notion to an average joe like myself. His breadth of expertise and contributions will echo in history beyond our lifetime.
So glad I quit watching porn
Good work man.
Glad you were able to stop, its very addicting.
I can't stop, been trying for over a decade at least. Always come back.
How many times a week do you get laid?
@@RageMagikarpfinding a monogamous partner with the same sex drive as yourself makes it a lot easier than not
The English word 'FORNICATION' (all sexual uncleanness - which is all sex outside of heterosexuality marriage) derives from the Latin word 'pornia'... from which we get the word Porn. Essentially, porn and FORNICATION are one and the same type of sin.
And one of the great reasons God hates sin... is because sin always damages people.
So... great to hear Jordan's deep, scientific, data based analysis, underpinning the fact that... porn is always bad and damages people.
@Seeker Nobody said you had to do something s3xual to be a fornicator. And none of what you've said undermines anything I've said. Your quotation of Hebrews 12v16 is the one occasion out of many in scripture, where the word doesn't relate to s3xual sin. And it's false to claim that one unique usage provides the definition of the word. Fornicator... in scripture... doesn't necessitate selling ones body... or selling out in general. Check out 1 Cor 5v1. That man didn't sell out to a harlot or sell his body. And check out the 3rd common usage of the word, as defined in Thayer's Greek dictionary:
Original: πόρνος
Transliteration: pornos
Phonetic: por'-nos
Thayer Definition:
a man who prostitutes his body to another's lust for hire
a male prostitute
a man who indulges in unlawful sexual intercourse, a fornicator
@Seeker Your attempt to disconnect 'porn' from 'fornication' is sad indeed. 34 times 'fornication' is used in the NT directly in the context of s3xual immorality! And you use the one time it's translated 'fornicator' in an entirely different context... to argue it isn't connected with s3xual immorality!! Hmmm...
This man's breadth of knowledge is seemingly unparalleled.
If you grow up with porn, you might think that is how sex is like. BUT IT'S NOT. Making love to your partner is very different from porn. If you never had sex you might think you won't do it as good as in porn but that is not realizing how love making actually looks like and works. You'll be fine! Just make sure you both love each other... what a strange concept huh?
I have a hard time believing there are some people who don't know that, except maybe very young children.
I've spoken to some young people who 'grew up with porn', and were kind of grossed out at the idea of 'sex being an expression of love'. They understood it on intellectual level, but were immensely grossed out by the idea. To those who were women it seemed like a chore, like something they see as part of relationship but not the actual 'expression of love'. Anyway, that was only a couple of people whom I've heard that from, maybe they're outliers, don't know🤷♀️. Just something I personally found concerning.
@@joane24 I've known people who thought the same way.
I've argued against porn for a while, and a lot of young people seem to view it as "educational"
Porn is very edited to seem like that it almost impossible to last that long
Great lecture. Thanks for shedding light on this matter Dr. Peterson.
I can hear him talk all day. What a gem!
I was at this lecture. Phenomenal! I wish it lasted so much longer!
The thing that grates on me so much about this topic is how unwilling health care professionals in my country are willing to say porn CAN be bad, not even that it IS bad, just that it can be bad. They’re also unwilling to admit masturbation can be addictive. It’s a disgrace.
Listening to JP has really made me appreciate the education my parents and teachers gave me. I'm 60 and still learning. Thanks JP. You're like my big brother, who was a damn good brother.
I just turned 27. Dr. Peterson is like a father to me.
Man, I would give everything I have Including the shirt off my back just to be free from porn. A 20 year addiction isn’t something small to beat. But I am still alive to save my soul.
I hope you all keep your kids safe from this evil.
Seriously 20 years 😮
This is the best segment ever on the subject.
Good timing ❤
Dr Peterson, thank you for not being afraid to speak against these things and explain them and how destructive they are. It is delightful that Mrs Peterson is right there by your side, regal on your thrones of knowledge!
“Psychology Today” has an article about how monogamous marriage is the foundation of our society. It’s pretty much what he said about many women going after a few guys. Without monogamous marriage, those few men take the majority of women in polygynous marriages, leaving the majority of men fighting over a few leftover women… and fight they do. In the past, this caused society to become violent. Marriage gave roughly every man a woman and calmed them down. Now it’s going back the other way. It’s not going to be pretty.
Interesting find; I never would have thought of it, so thank you.
It's already gone back the other way, so called "incel" killers are the first stage.
I quit porn 5 years ago and never went back. I was able to stop by talking to real women. We are more alike than we think. We're not meant to be alone.
Dr. Peterson, I'm so grateful for your willingness to speak the truth publicly on this issue, which is completely counter to the culture's deatructive and morally babkrupt sexual ethics. You're in my prayers sir, keep fighting the good fight!
I must remember the pain it has caused me every time I am tempted
congratulations on a million subs in advance 💐
Finally! Someones saying it! Thank you Jordan. Ive always thought this.
0:54 "The essence of criminal behavior is 'predatory parasitism' and so that's really the definition of psychopathy, so, a predator is obviously someone who will take, from you, what is yours and a parasite is someone who will manipulate you into working for their advantage and a predatory parasite is a psychopath."
Porn is an instrument of propaganda designed to weaken our country and hurt the women.
Porn only hurts women?
Porn makes money,
we live in a profit driven world,
so porn is inevitable.
How are women being victimized?? They sell their bodies willingly and post many illicit things on every social media site you can think of. They are a big part of the problem themselves. You cannot tell men to quit when women walk around everyday sexualizing themselves.
Thanks!
We are to:
Love People and Use Things,
NOT,
Love Things and Use People.
I think, we need to realize there are men that never do any drugs or alcohol, nor do they get into short term relationships with women, and yet they get addicted to porn. I think it has to do a lot with the breakdown of the institution of marriage, and people resorting to pornography to satisfy their cravings and fantasies. Pretty sad, but there is no easy solution since it is uncertain whether society will ever go back to traditional marriage.
Cellphones share a huge part of the blame in porn addiction because 10 year olds can get porn right in their own beds. Kids are at a curious age and their peers start talking about sex and suddenly sex is available right in their pocket. They get hooked young. It’s one of the greatest tragedies of our society.
@@capellamidlight I agree about cellphones making porn accessible, I would say technology in general, most children have laptops as well. That said single men can get hooked on porn as easily as even if they were not exposed to porn as children, just because as a child you were not exposed it does not mean once you are by yourself where there is no family member watching what you are doing it becomes extremely easy to go astray. This is why I said the breakdown of the family is devastating.
Watching pornography isn't unlike rolling in poison ivy, as some people find an itch temporarily pleasurable. But then, when people face immune disorders that make them perpetually itchy, it is no longer pleasurable, but a living nightmare.
Much better to feed your psychological batteries by doing good, productive things, and helping others (but not pathologically.)
Rewiring is possible, but has to be intentional, even driven.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Thank you ❤
Great question & there’s a reason I don’t like porn, won’t watch porn, I don’t like the energy of it- it has a dark vibration to it.
100% agree with Jordan; I was saying this very thing to people in a forum YEARS AGO and they all laughed at me... saying 'It's not that bad blah blah; but it seems that we have OF, yes, we have a form of "Virtual" prostitution going on at the present time via the Internet, the cyber-pimp. Children are now being introduced to the hardest-core porn (that was mostly underground" in North America until the late 90s)at an average age of _nine_ . a whole generation warped from the earliest years; there will never be any "normal" relationship between men and women of this generation or however long we have access to this thing called 'The Internet." AI already has hold of us; we just don't know it yet.
Things are looking real dystopian right about now. I’ve been trying to quit this bs addiction for 6 years now, my first exposure was probably about 20 years ago & I’m not even 30 yet. It’s seriously a very powerful psychosocial weapon & it’s destroying young men & the natural connection between men & women in general. It’s crazy to me that majority of people still don’t see it for what it is.
He has such huge grasp of vocab that i had to go to google for a few times!
Need this
"What we don't know is why doesn't everyone use drugs all the time."
Do you know how happy and reaffirming it is to hear that? I've been struggling with moderating the amount of weed I smoke over the years, and I always genuinely couldn't understand how people could finish a long day at work and not have a joint. I really thought I must have something wrong, because genuinely, I couldn't understand how people were not using it every day, let alone not at all.
These days, I've managed to curb it to a weekend treat, but god damn this message would have been great to hear 10 years ago. Dr Peterson, you are an absolute blessing 🙏🏻
I think you misunderstood, hes saying why some people are able to NOT use, like porn.
Thanks so much JP. I highly agree with the things said about pornography and also thinks it highly damages our current society. Especially young men (like I did) develop the habit of consuming porn early which leads to big problems later on in building real relationships and a stable life.
The fact that you can view someone's asshole before you meet them in person because they will willingly send you these pics on a "dating app" is all the proof one would need.
This has to be the hardest challenge of my life!!
JP is truly great when he talks about psychology.
Just because something is common, doesn't mean it's normal. Nor should it be normalised. Don't give up.
Good video from Parenting perspective as well 😁
Pornography has stolen the love of my life. It has destroyed our sex life, taken our intimacy, turned him into to a short tempered defensive man incapable of normal communication. I have fought so hard to stay and ive trued so hard to be supportive. Im going to have to leave. Its such a waste to lose our relationship. I feel so sorry for him because he has a lifetime of disconnection and solitude if he doesnt get help. If youre a man reading this and you love your partner GET HELP. It isnt just something you do to yourself. You destroy your partner in everyway.
I hope you left him. Only he can fix an issue that personal. You staying would satiate his subconscious desire for a long term sexual relationship meaning there would be no intrinsic insensitive to quit his short term sexual pleasures. I'm really sorry for what he did to you.
@@EternityUnknown thank you kindly for your heartfelt comment. I'm in the process of saving to leave. I am leaving
And you are entirely correct. I'm on the road to healing myself from the damage. I wish you the very best. May you and yours be blessed.
Blessings to you. I'm in the same process. Just know it truly wasn't anything to do with you. My s/o destroyed my self confidence and image along with financial and social existence. Work on yourself because you are bound to be damaged in multiple ways. I wish you the very best. God bless
@@gabyponte6497 Is this for me?
Emotional fidelity is a strong compensating attribute for a man in the upper 80% to offer. Women want to feel they are the only woman in her man’s world. We want to be cherished. How he treats her goes a long way in courtships. It is work but also rewarding to have companionship, a mother for your children and a well cared for home. Don’t give up. You can have these things if you are willing to put forth the effort. Disability, death or other circumstances may require adaptations.
if there's one thing i could improve in my early life is having normal experiences with people my age, exposure to such things can warp your mind, making you feel like a crazy person
Im a 38 year old male. The subject of porn came up in the office and i admitted to never watching porn. Everyone was shocked and felt i was " different" i watched this almost to verify my own beliefs, i didnt need to but the reaction of my colleagues made me question my values. Watching this reaffirms my convictions whilst growing up plus demonstrated how common place pornography is today. Its scary how many people view it as a normal everyday thing.
Mind blowing 🤯 👏
What an incredibly well-thought out, thorough answer. For me, porn is about giving up. Giving up on women in the real world after countless negative experiences. Modern women are not worth the effort.
There are no modern women. Just women trapped in modernity and postmodernity
@michaelpurvis2247 Women have always been what they are. They are not victims. The internet just gave us a clear view of their antics. Along with all their little "movements".
Jordan killing it with his red chaos pants today 👖
Thanks for the heads up Mr. Peterson! Loving your videos as always ❤
I am pretty sure you are wearing that two colored suit for a reason but I can't figure out.
i think he's starting a new Style : )
999k subscribers atm about to break the threshold
That crap has ruined my life!
It's extremely powerful. Idk how it even exists.
Here's another one: porn escalation. Porn might essentially be a highway towards the disturbing and the pathological that might be contained in the realm of sex.
thank you 💯...
the man can present a thesis on any subject
This guy is a poet
Obviously the epidemic of chronic porn consumption is primarily a male issue since most porn users are young men, but because the modern dating landscape stacks the deck so rigorously against men, a lot of them have elected to check out of the mating market entirely by getting their fix online. Women are the sexual gatekeepers and have every right to be selective in vetting for a partner, but what are the 80% of men supposed to do if their chances are virtually nil next to an S-tier Chad? Porn becomes the only available outlet for this proportion of sexually frustrated men.
Women are picky for the wrong reasons
Work on themselves lol. Get an education, get a good job, become physically fit/healthy, become mentally healthy. Become S tier Sigma and women will want you. Falling into the hole of porn basically means that a woman will maybe settle for you eventually, but you're not of the same quality and neither is she.
Jordans suit says it all.🤣
It takes only 30 seconds to understand that you’re listening to someone truly brilliant.
Wow brilliant
Seriously, was this conference like 10 days long? Just endless clips
It had to have been the Q and A section at one of his shows.
I think these are q and a sections from multiple shows. It looks like the setting is slightly different in a lot of the clips.
It can be really hard, especially when there doesn't seem to be any hope for finding someone. I struggled for many years, not just with porn, but with finding relationships in general (a vicious feedback loop). As soon as I found a good relationship, I realized that the porn was vapid, empty and giving me nothing. The key, work on yourself and find a woman who you can love, trust and share your life with.
It is worth putting in the hours at the gym, reading self-help books, and getting yourself in better shape. I had a tendency to think that I deserved more than I did and wondered why women didn't flock to me. Older, I realize that we deserve nothing, but if you can make yourself into someone people want to be with and around you have a better shot! This is slow and hard and a grind, but just like investments, the work compounds. I am shocked to look back and see how far I have come! You guys can do it too!
That's the problem though most humans are assholes and judgemental it's like you have to change for them yet they don't change
I shouldn’t be addicted.
I feel like I’m going through, what drug addicts would refer to as withdrawal. The intensity which comes and goes thereof over the last few days manifests as anguish. I want to claw my chest open. Now I realize how much I’ve depended on this mental escape. All the reasons that I gave myself for being hooked are towering over me and laughing at me. The sun is too bright on my ugly insides compounded by my negative enhancement and mindset on my problems. I’m old enough to know that pain will eventually equal gain just like in the real when lifting. But it’s like man why can’t all this sunlight burn these thoughts out of my head. It is easy to project power and determination in the real but I am nothing but an emaciated plague ridden slave inside.
I hate that clown in the mirror. That’s where I’m at rn
Videos like this from Mr. Peterson are why my hubby, who is addicted to porn, cannot stand him 😂
Thanks for spreading truth, sir!
It’s funny how after literal years listening to a man you respect, how you feel a closeness. & how I don’t have support in my life so I find myself coming to Dr Peterson. Wish he’d see this.. man between struggling with addiction and this, it seems never ending. If I didn’t have God in my life today, I’d be lost to another statistic like most of us young men
I love this dude
Young women also needs to see that. Please share.
Ban it all. No ifs ands or butts.
That would take the social majority having both a working spine and a functional will to achieve and we all know that won't happen.
Then we get into censorship, who and what should and shouldn't be banned.
@@proudatheist2042 we are already into that bud, look around. You’ve got to realize what a radical stance it is to believe that “nothing should ever be banned or censored”.
@@proudatheist2042 "Stopping the spread of misinformation" is a form of censorship that has recently become popular.
@geneticsmatter3834 You cannot ban pron otherwise you might as well ban the internet as a whole. It sells billions and Technology is a little more complicated than that and will be bypassed by dudes who actually know how to use a computer. But meatheads and old people can't seem to grasp this.
... No matter what you call it, whether you are a government or an individual, violence and force should never be used to get what you want.
when he talks gods listen ... i love you jordan 🔥❣️
Useless comment
I love that JP is here to tell me scientifically why some conservative values have, well, value. Growing up, I could never accept answers of
"Because it's immoral.
Because you'll go to hell" etc...
JP believes in a lot of the same things my loved ones do, but he can virtually always tell me *WHY*
Because some truths (just like the bit about what is real?) aren't self-evident enough for me. My parent's and mentor's answers to my burning questions never satisfied me. "Cuz it's wrong/You'll go to hell/Cuz I said so/It just is/Who cares?" Those are the kinds of answers I got when I would ask questions about how the world works when I was young.
Recognizing that things you've arranged in your mind in the "foundational beliefs" column haven't been refined enough yet can be a scary feeling. It can make you heavily doubt yourself. Much like training yourself to experience rejection, you need to often re-evaluate these thoughts and drill down even deeper into these seemingly self-evident truths you hold. I've done this in an unbelievably faster amount of time than I would have without your videos.
Whenever I feel embarrassed for not knowing something, I've recognized that the embarrassment comes from not knowing something that I perceive as self-evident. AKA something I feel everybody should know. If you confront your most solidly held beliefs from time to time, you'll get to a point where you no longer feel embarrassed for not knowing something. With that loss of the fear of embarrassment as any sort of motivating factor, you'll realize it's just a part of the process of learning. Embarrassment is a *gift* to me now. It lets me know there's something I need to learn. That has allowed me to trust myself more. That's why I'm a better man after a year. Some people have nowhere to go be exposed to these types of discussions and these types of thoughts. You are basically the most successful personal trainer I've ever had... only for my brain.
So next time you wonder why some random person tells you "Watching Jordan Peterson helped to give me confidence/saved my life/etc..." don't overtly dismiss it as some culty phrase. I certainly won't do so again.
My friend Joe told me that listening Jordan Peterson made him more confident and I didn't believe him. After a year of watching your videos, I finally understand why on a deep enough level that I can properly explain to people why and that's very important to someone like me. So, thank you.
I think that's truly the real value proposition. For a large number of people, JP has gotten them to think about what they're doing vs what they ought to be doing, and his recurring message is to think about why. Why do you do what you do? Why should you behave any differently? Why shoulder the burden of life and resolved to get unstuck?
Peter sons analysis of porn is spot on here. Whenever I look at porn I go from one thing to the next to the next, because it’s purely based on whims and there is no consistency with the content I engage with. It does prevent me from feeling desperate enough to seriously pursue women, because I can quasi satisfy the need with no effort on my own part. And it does hurt my ability to perform sexually in real situations (especially the masterbation even without the porn but the porn doesn’t help and porn is never without masterbation even if masterbation is sometimes without porn).
All reasons why this shit needs to stop.
No, you don't pursue women because you are afraid of rejection whoch is your ego. "Porn" doesn't do anything to you. I watch porn AND pursue women, and guess what..sometimes I get rejected and move on, other times we have beautiful consensual sex, sometimes I develop a relationship. You need to work on your own courage my friend. My ex actually never judged me for porn or felt insecure about it. We had a great sex life and loved each other very much. Get rid of your ego and accept the fact that you may get rejected on occasion. Don't let that stop you from trying, you will only succeed if you are resilient.🎉
I’m 35 and it caused me to miss the window where I could’ve met and married a woman. I’ve wasted my whole life and now I’m going to die alone.
No dude, 35 is when a man should start looking for a wife.
Men hit their prime at 35 lol Women hit theirs are 22 maybe 25
@@Wilhelm4131 Oh there’s plenty of women who see me as stepdad material lol.
Porn and sexting have had a debilitating impact on my life, of course through my own weakness. I have found myself to never be satisfied, to always struggle to be present in my own life for extended periods of time, and to always seek numbing and escapism to the detriment of my relationships and career. Finally getting clean.
Pornography gave me erectile dysfunction, and I’m 24 years old. I’ve had erectile dysfunction for years. I can get an election when I watch porn, and reach orgasm. But without it, I have no mental connection to my body, to the sexual desire within me. Hope I can revert it, but it’s been months that I’m battling with it. It’s very hard (no pun intended)
Dude, I personally feel when my consumption of sexual imagery online is ramping up to more and more intense things. I PURPOSEFULLY hold myself back from watching actual porn whenever I can, and I'll try to look at the lightest imagery I can get.
You have to be less ADHD for that to happen, you have to be less rushed, more in touch with your body and emotions in general.
Sometimes I'll get excited just by imagining someone I have a crush on, and it just feels so much more fulfilling than wasting all of that energy on the most stimulating crap I can find.
You have to slowly move on to lighter and lighter things, fantasize and imagine different sensorial aspects you would feel from touching and feeling a real woman.
Tap into the visceral feelings in your body, you are hyper-focused on a single stimuli. Whenever we feel someone else, we feel them through our bodies, and our bodies respond. You should imagine more and tap into those sensorial visceral innate energy.
We need to feed the mind, the question is, with what we are feeding our minds with?
Thanissaro Bhikkhu is a great monk, check him out on UA-cam. Buddhist monks are the best in the world at explaining that kind of thing, because they use it to feed the mind meanwhile we didn't reach enlightenment in the path. We reap the fruits already even before reaching nirvana, if we ever do in our life times as buddhists.
Imagine how nice just a long hug is, how your body responds to looking deep into the eyes of a beautiful woman and she looking right back at you. When relaxed and focused our bodies tend to respond automatically. From there that relaxed energy ramps up to more cuddling-like type of thing, kisses, breaths on each other, smelling their hair, etc...
I watch a lot of ASMR, try to see if it can give you some of those feelings that you can tap on.
Most porn out there is completely trash and fully devoid of any of that. Woman on woman ones they tend to be more tender on each other.
Whenever you see any imaginary again, imagine with as much vivid detail what it would have been like and notice how hyper-focused your mind has become at specific aspects of the imagery which are not present in the real world, try to connect your mind with those aspects, those snippets of elements which you like, to what you can picture to exist in a real world circumstance, bridge that mental gap between what already does it for you right now, and what you wish would do it for you in the real world.
Yes, this is a sort of meditation type of visualization. That's what I do, I have some experience with meditation, so I've acquire some depth of understanding of what objects of awareness that I'm attracted to.
They are somewhat fabrications, and you can take control over those fabrications overtime and morph them into something else.
I know problems can go much deeper, but I wish I provided some insights, they help me stay in touch with my body and emotions when it comes to my sexual energy. To be frank I've only been once with a woman 6 years ago, but I do appreciate and I feel very strong urges when I see them in person randomly in a healthy way, so I believe I'm still naturally primed to when I have a girlfriend, I'd be able to enjoy her.
Same thing about entertainment in general, if I binge on TV shows for too long and don't do anything else, my brain finds it hard to focus on focusing on less stimulating things. Which is obvious. I kinda have some sense when I'm going WAY TOO FAR. But I only know my body and mind healthy and so on, so I can't know and I'll never know what's like on someone's else body.
If you stop watching porn, your sexual function will return to normal. It will take some time, but it will happen. See a counselor/therapist.
Jordan “It’s a great drug” Peterson lmao
I hate having this issue.
There’s not a single concrete criticism of pornography use in this answer, it’s all just tangential discussion of other issues like addiction, psychopathy, and dating dynamics
Porn portrays women as just a sex object, . life isnt that at all.... ❤
Porn potrays men as just sex objects too, yet you choose to ignore this.
I caught my dad using when I was 7 and I started using at around the same age. I’m 21 now, recently quit for good and my memory isn’t the best. The root cause of this addictive behaviour is, among other details, the trauma associated with another addictive behaviour. Life is putting me through the wringer right now. Nevertheless, I’m determined to make the most out of the day at the very least.
I started watching porn before I was 10, got addicted, now am 26 and now my life is a wreck.
Many such cases, but it's not too late to turn things around ya know!
Same situation but worst - addicted since about 13/14 and I'm 31 now. I've known about the issue for several years but haven't stopped yet.