What is flirting, and how to do it?
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- Опубліковано 19 лип 2023
- In this video, I break down a few key ingredients of flirting: implicit attraction, playfulness, and teasing. This is for those of you who said you have no idea how to even flirt!
Intro music: Church of 8 Wheels by Otis McDonald
I am SO excited to announce that I've launched a 4+ hour relationship skills course:
Flirting is communicating your attraction with plausible deniability
Sometimes I feel everybody received a book on "how to be human", but I didn't.
UA-cam reccomending me this video for the 50th time because I have no rizz 💀
Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.
"I feel like flirting is one of those behaviors we all have an inherent understanding of"....riiiight
I once flirted with a girl in high school and took the teasing too far, eventually hitting on a genuine insecurity of hers. It's often hard to see how someone you're into would be insecure because they appear so attractive to you.
start complimenting people in your day to day, it’s hard but it’ll help you be more fluid when interacting with someone you’re attracted to and want to banter with. It’s helped me. Hope this little advice helps someone out there. Just remember no one knows what they’re doing so don’t put some much pressure on yourself.
I'm too autistic for this...
4:14
''Just have fun'' is the best advice I have gotten so far in my life
I watched this expecting to learn how to flirt with my wife. Turns out we flirt near constantly and I just didn't have a good understanding of what flirting is. That's very in character. Great video, thank you.
Her example of flirting was "are you sure you're gonna wear that?" 😩😩
"indirectly making fun AT YOUR OWN ATTRACTION towards them" is a brilliant way to put it and it unlocked something in my mind ! THANK YOU
My mom gave me the best advice. I’m autistic and very awkward with flirting. I’m telling you that you don’t have to do the extra flirting to try to manipulate someone into liking you. Just be you. She believes that flirting comes off as desperate. Approaching crushes calmly and just showing interest in them can melt their heart like that. If they like you, they will say anything and want to keep it going in order to lock you down. If they seem distant, excuse yourself from them nicely and do something else. You stand out from other people that are friendly flirting with them by being fully present with them that goes way beyond their looks. You get to know each other on a way more profound level than innocent touching and winks. Asking them a series of questions makes them feel cared for and likely develop feelings for you. Your crush will likely ask you out bc you’re not putting all that pressure and desperate energy into them. I’ve had guys like me which was always because I wasn’t so focused on getting their attention and looking up advice on flirting. When you let go, that is when love finds you.
The bad thing about flirting is, it can send really mixed signals. I've had it happen recently. It's not the greatest feeling to be on the receiving end and realise that it was never going to amount to anything.
I feel like my boundaries are really high strung. It feels offensive to ask someone on a simple, unconditional date. A woman who works at my optometrist asked me about my staycation, and I mentioned painting and renovating my house, and she said she would be happy to help me paint. I immediately thought it was odd, because I feel like I could be 25 years older than her, but maybe we both look young for our ages. Maybe she likes older men. Maybe she likes to paint! LOL. I don't know. I was too afraid to inquire about it further because I didn't want to hurt anyone or be seen as a creep. It's like I can't reconcile in my brain how to simply invite a person to spend any time together at all without feeling like I'm doing something harmful.
Compliments are a great way to start flirting. You don't need to do it to someone you are attracted to to start. Start off with a friend and tell them "That shirt looks good on you" or "That's a really nice color on you"
This makes sense as to why I've always hated flirting. As someone who has some form (workin on it) of insecure attatchment, I always read way more into passive flirty behavior than was ever there, and couldnt ever flirt without having something more behind it, due to my often overwhelming desire to not be alone with myself. Thanks!
As a person who knew about what flirting is only a year ago, when I turned 27 (to my shame) and still struggles to find a girlfriend, I find this video extremely useful. For sure, it'll take a lot of practice, but at least now I see in which direction I should move.