Why People Cheat, According to Psychology
Вставка
- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- In this video, I discuss the psychology of romantic infidelity.
Time Stamps:
0:00 Intro
1:35 Statistics on cheating
2:02 Are we hardwired to cheat?
3:25 Risk factors for cheating
12:53 Why people don't cheat
13:20 Why some people stay with a cheater
14:09 How to cheat-proof your relationship
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References:
www.researchgate.net/profile/...
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/p...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/ba...
ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats....
www.livescience.com/55681-is-...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/9...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
I’d rather get broken up through text randomly than to get cheated on ngl
thats how it should be
She did both of those to me
I had both. He cheated abd broke up with me over text
@@kassieknueppel3347 same.
@@kassieknueppel3347 That’s fucking cowardly. If he had the balls to cheat then he should’ve been man enough to stand in his own shit and confess his shortcomings to you in person.
You can never really avoid to get cheated on. It’s more on your partner than yourself. Just be the best you can be and if they still cheat, it’s their loss. No need to change for anybody.
Like catching a cold it will happen.
i wish he wanted only me
Honestly
@@deviousj5868 shut up dude
Sometimes you can avoid getting cheated on, more specifically when you are abusing the other person and they end up cheating
He was my second serious relationship. We had all the "indicators" of making it a long run. Family loved him, stable, emotionally available, great sex, we became best friends. 15 years have passed and I still remember his exact words: I cannot stop thinking about this girl and can't get her out of my mind. I want to tell you because I rather break your heart with honesty than with lies and cheating. Heart was broken but I never resented him nor hated him.
Nice
@@arpitsri9631 Chill you dont need to do her like that
I wish everyone could be that honest.
@@kithalie how are you
Are they still together?
How to avoid getting cheated on: never date or partner up with anyone. That's it. There is no foolproof way to prevent cheating. Either someone decides to stay faithful or they don't. If you're doing something that makes them want to be with someone else, a mature person will talk to you about it or break up with you. They won't cheat. It's that simple.
💯💯💯 this. I had every reason to cheat on my ex. I felt neglected after a while and I was sexually frustrated. still I stayed loyal til the end til he dumped me. I'm free of him now thankfully.
@@SR77736 Why didnt you end the rs before him?
For some people it's normal to cheat and they stay we their current partner until a better one appears.
Facts
Wish I would've known this earlier
It’s so sad cause it fucks up the normal people that don’t cheat and want a real relationship. We go through so much emotionally we can’t even trust anyone anymore
It's happening to me right now, and I feel like never trying again.
@@julianezequielpdg7347 Same bro. How did it happen to you?
@@leonh2044 it's a long story....I can try enter into details, but you know...it's complicated in this format. Basically...relationships now a days in the vast majority, are just not what they used to be anymore, sadly (and fortunately) I was raised in a certain way, believing certain things...but then reality hits, man... There's details and circumstances, but basically, she chose to be with someone physically in the pursue of forgetting about me, (ironically making it worse for her), when that was the one and only thing I didn't want to happen
There's details like I said, just wouldn't know where to start, add to that that English's not my first language so....but the part that makes me not want to try it anymore is that, with this person, the connection was at EVERY level, we literally had the same ideas for the future, she just wanted things differently and well, her anxiety and omissions...and...don't know man, she just discarded me, you know? Like a candy wrap going to the trash, way before she even had s*x with someone, that was just the end of it, the final thing to do to try and erase me...didn't work for her, caused me to just not want to see her anymore, and the sad part is that she wants to be with me, she really is miserable right know for the life she chose, again is a long story man, international relationship...borders, blabla....luckily no children so... Guess I'm gonna just get wealthy and adopt some love needing kids....there are lots of souls in need of true love out there...
Whatever happened to you, if anything happened at all, don't let it kill your love....give, always give, not needing anything in return, for you are honest, loving and truthfull in doing so....and you can't get hurt that way.
See you, buddy.
Would you say that being cheated on will turn someone into a wh**?
Yup.
I got married at 18. My ex husband cheated on me te entire time. When I found out, 6 years later, I felt crushed. Today, more than 1 year ago I still have nightmares about it. I wake up crying because of this. Even when I thought it didnt affect me anymore.
I'm so sorry, that's awful! :(
I hope you get find healing. I’m sorry you went through that, nobody deserves that
I hope you heal and move on with your life. I wish you eternal happiness!!!!! ❤️❤️
You have to know.. That's is normal... You are not the only one.. If it can make you feel bit better.....
same, I’m 21 tho and he cheated on me from age 17 up until a week ago LOL it’s okay baby just gotta keep moving on it’s never your fault it’s always them
Cheating is something that I never even thought of as a real thing. It felt like something that happened in movies. I would never even consider cheating because when I love someone, they are my world. So when I was cheated on multiple times, it hit me hard. My entire concept of trust has been permanently effected. I haven’t been in a relationship since because I honestly feel like I don’t understand how relationships work anymore.
Interesting... I will pray for you. Jesus Christ is coming back very soon, and He loves mankind!
THIS. I truly hope u feel better and find your perfect someone
it really hurts i just wish they wouldve never texted the other person
I feel you
The same thing happened to me, I don't know if I ever trust someone again in my life. Cause the first person who broke my trust was my father. I hate crying every day thinking why did they cheat like why. I don't understand Why people have to cheat in a relationship, why can't they just end the relationship and own up things.
My ex told me he cheated in the past. He admitted it with shame and told me plainly that he did it out of selfishness and he hated himself for it and that he would never do it again because he hurt his ex girlfriend and that was wrong. He sincerely told me he had changed.
And he then he cheated on me, the first chance he got.
Sometimes you just can’t tell.
Wow!!... narcissism at its best.
I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt but when it has to do with cheating that is where I draw the line.
@biba olaitan Could be a narcissist, could not be. He could have wanted to change his cheating ways, but was unable to.
If they've cheated walk away
Idc how good a person is if they’ve cheated I leave. I don’t want any part of that bad karma
I’m scared of my boyfriend falling out of love with me and I don’t even have a boyfriend.
If ur pfp is u he wont
I... your photo 💀💀💀💀💀
Same😂
girl, same.
LMAO i felt this
Don't have a boyfriend: problem solved. 😌
Y’all ass cheat more statistically
@@Jkid3169 actually apparently both men and women cheat at the same rate. Just younger women cheat more, and older men cheat more.
That's kinda shallow don't you think?
Krystal Bueno I think us guys cheat more
AkoniAldane I usually don’t agree with women but lol you’re 100% correct
Risk factors:
- Mostly men overall, but usually female in younger generations
- aged 39/any age ending in 9
- Narcissism, lower agreeableness, lower conscientiousness
- Divorced
- Cheated in the past
- Low relationship satisfaction
She actually said *Higher conscientiousness which makes no sense to me
@@tikdoe7563 maybe it's a mistake? Otherwise maybe people high in conscientiousness are stressed from the emotional and literal loads they take on and act out in these ways?
@@tikdoe7563 5:24 "More conscientiousness partners are less likely to cheat"
Damn
Some stats just show which gender is more likely to self-report honestly
Just want to clarify that bunnies are committal animals that typically will bond with life partner :)
Bit they will still mate with their daughters, sons, brothers and sisters.
Watership Down
My wife left me
@@ItaintmeCCC they're animals
They also don’t have social media with a million options.
I totally understand if someone falls in love with someone else. You can't control your feelings.
BUT, you should always be honest and break up with your significant other instead of keeping the illusion, lying and being in another relationship at the same time.
I have never been cheated on, all I want is for men to tell me straight away when they don't want to stay with me anymore. It hurts, but at least I don't waste my time with a cheater and I can move on.
Also: please, consider open/poly relationships if monogamy isn't meant for you. Stop deceiving people, be honest with yourself and the others.
People: please stop "accepting" such behaviours. You don't have to forgive a cheater, you don't have to settle because you're afraid of being alone. Accept solitude, embrace it, and you will never settle with someone unworthy of your love and trust.
there is no such thing as falling in love there is only lusting after someone with the right figure or hormones the secret to a happy marriage and life is understanding loving someone is a choice for a man it starts with seeing someone who looks attractive to them followed by them discovering if they are the type of woman for them then pursuing a marriage with them thats where the work starts because if you dont work on your marriage or the relationship it will fall apart and you will stop loving if you dont make that choice every day.
I agree with you 100%
Falling in love inplies its out of your controle but name a woman who falls in love with a man that doesnt fit into what she wants in a man in some category in money in home is security she doesnt fall in love with the slob under the bridge so if u want to leave your life up to whatever bilogical fancy your body has at a given moment instead of the science that supports my claim more power to you but im happily married 9 years going on ten now
So i agree to disagree though when i was useing the term lust i was useing that in the most broad of categories based in the biological and hormonal things that draw people to eachother not the i want a drink of mr tall dark and handsome
Sounds more like a relationship was built around you or your friendship blossomed into more if neither of u were pressing to one day maybe have a relationship and neither of u were trying to have the relationship change to more then friendship thats the longest fell in love moment ive ever heard if u guys didnt work on that relationship it never qould have happened thats still not falling in love its working at love he grew up to a man you wanted to be with whether you knew it cognisantly or not thats still not falling in love if you can fall in love u can fall out of love and thats how many relationships break down because it wasnt ur fault u fell in love u didnt know he wouldnt be right qith u later 10 years 20 years dowwn the road so then it becomes ok to end the relationship now i wish you the best and hope u qork at love and dont just leave it up the fleeting feelings that never last
step one: don't date a cheater
vivalasammm step 2 repeat step 1
How we know they are one?
@@entrainson7208 you don't always know... So you can either stay single forever or just take a chance and try to be smart and aware of signs. But at the end of the day, the only surefire way is to stay single
*Step* *1* *Don't* *Date*
*Adopt* *a* *bunny*
It’s hard to tell, my last my relationship was so amazing for a while then that’s when I was seriously attached and codependen the cheating and manipulation and neglect starts
I think if someone cheats on me I'll leave them immediately. It's not worth it to stay in a relationship where you're tormented by the fact that your partner cheated and you lack trust.
you think?? 😂😂
Totally me
Same
You never know unless you've actually been in the situation yourself. Being in love can make you do things you never thought you would.
Yes same but it might be hard thats the problem
My girlfriend of almost 10 years cheated on me. We broke up a few months after I found out. She was a childhood friend. My high school sweetheart. She was my bestfriend. She's pretty much my entire world. It's been almost 2 years since that happened but every now and then it still haunts me. We share the same social circles and my relationship with some of our friends changed because of some lies she told. The experience pretty much broke me and until now I can't say that I have "moved on" or I'm "ok". I can't even function normally on day to day stuff.
Some of the worst parts after that is we're not even friends anymore. We're less than strangers now and all the people around me, especially our common friends, expect me to "move on".
Darling try and get over it, people will always be people it's human nature to cheat, it gets boring having the same meal every night. If she cheated stay in the relationship some day it will be your turn to cheat on her. Stop giving someone else the responsibility to make you happy its not fair
Ending a relationship is almost like a death. It could take years to heal from a broken heart. There is no quick fix.
@@jenkech5824 Never did he mentioned he was dependent on her for happiness. What she did was just screwed up.
I really relate to the feelings you described. Being incredibly close and intimate with someone, sharing your lives and future, and then cutting contact and basically becoming strangers was one of the worst pains I've experienced. I'm very loyal and get extremely attached to people (I still think about my childhood friends and how they are doing), so I feel sad that my ex didn't commit the same way I did. It gives me a bit of relief reading about your experience, not only because it means I'm not the only one feeling like this, but also because it gives me hope that there are people out there that are like me and will give everything and love deeply. I hope you are doing better now that time has passed.
Feel your feelings! Write about them, talk about them.
No matter how long it takes. And trust things will get better. You are so worthy ❤️
watching this while my bf is sleep next to me and his age ends in 9 👁👄👁
Omg I laughed
I don't get it plz explain
Mohammed Ismail In the video, people at the age of 39 are at the highest risk for cheating, and any age ending in 9 considering it’s going up another 10 year milestone like 20s, 30s, and so on, it’s the time of possibly a crisis.
Haven’t even watched the full video and also in bed realizing my husband is 29 FML
😹😹😹😹😹
An old friend told me once, when you caught him/her cheating ONCE (in any form), more likely they were already doing it before your eyes know it.
Been there.
Facts!!
That's a fact
Is following thorstraps on insta a sign of cheating?
@@Riannalynn123 yep
@@julianezequielpdg7347 How so?
- fell out of love
- seeking variety
- drinking/situational (men)
- raise self-esteem
- Feel uncared for/angry with partner
- 1/3 said "sexual desire"
As far as why people don't cheat, I personally simply choose not to. I just think it's absolutely wrong to do that to someone. I don't want to cheat on anyone, and I don't want to be the one someone else is cheating with. It's a quality of my personality that exists regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not.
Yup. It's ultimately a choice. People like to pretend that they passively fell into it, probably to absolve themselves of guilt. But that only means there were a whole series of bad choices.
Yep, the same relationship that was bad for my unfaithful ex-wife was bad for me. The difference is always in how you deal with it. I asked questions like was there a time where we had it right, or just how are we.
Either no answer, or things are "fine."
You eventually stop asking as the questions go unanswered.
I chose to not cheat. I didn't keep beating my head against the wall on the relationship front. I figured my time would come when the kids were out of the house. Maybe then she could put me as high on her priority list as I had put her on mine.
She chose to have an affair instead.
Her loss.
For me it's just basic empathy instead of being wrong or right. If someone cheats they're a monster and deserve eternal loneliness.
Exactly.
never marry an entitled person, they will justify why it's ok
My boyfriend of four and a half years cheated on me three years ago, then left me for the other person. Mostly moved on, but it still hurts when I think about it every now and again.
you deserve all the happiness in the world, I’m sorry that happened to you 💖
I'm so sorry!
I couldn’t imagine the pain of that especially after watching this video from jaclyn Glenn it really opened my eyes to how painful it is from the receiving end I’ve always thought that it’s not that bad and people could just get over it but it’s not true at all
@Krispy it’s easy to think “just get over it!” Then it happens to you when you weren’t expecting it, and your whole world collapses in real time. In hindsight, sure, I see some of the things that went wrong; I see where I could have maybe done things a bit differently, but overall it came down to what he wanted, and his lack of communication skills. He cheated. He left.I didn’t. He chose to end the relationship in the worst way possible and taint basically all of our shared memories. His loss.
Edit: I actually found out about two weeks ago that he was crying to our mutual friends about how he wanted me back (I’m NOT kidding). So, if you’re reading this, and are thinking of cheating - don’t. Take a look at who you have in front of you first, and if you realize you no longer like/can deal with what you see, then leave. But don’t cheat. Even if you want to leave, cheating is not the way out. Take it from me, as someone who was cheated on. Your partner probably doesn’t deserve that.
(This is not about people who are in domestic violence situations or anything like that, of course, those situations are different.)
@@CarlDillynson I hope you find someone who sees what a great person and partner you are the whole time rather than needing such an unnecessary form of a wakeup call.
As a guy, I don't see the point in cheating. If the reason to cheat is because you're unsatisfied with your current partner and are fulfilling those needs with another, why don't you just break up with your partner? I'd sooner breakup with a partner when things aren't working out and we've tried to fix it, than to cheat.
I really wish there were more people like you. I sed do many guys specifically under this comment section happily admitting and suggesting cheating. I hope you have a great life. 👉🐰👉
@@bonniefnaf9849 I'm glad to hear you agreed with what I said. I hope you a great life as well! :)
Because you’ve never been in a situation of temptation
often times you are more attractive to girls when you are already in a relationship
@@sparklingfashion6276 temptation??? wdym
“How to not get cheated on”
I think the actual wording for that would be
Love yourself regardless because even if you get cheated on, it’s not your fault.
But cheating hurts. No amount of self love can change that..
Yeah! I want revenge!!!! 🗡🩸🔪🩸🗡
I cheated for one simple reason.
I was afraid of failing my exam.......
I was in grade 3. (T_T)
🤣😂
Hinjaku hinjaku...
@@samurajenskaia801 Yare yare daze.
Nice one
😳
I’m far too unforgiving to cheaters- suppose I will remain single until further notice.
SAME!!!
Saame
No you’re doing it right, know your worth and don’t settle for less. A person that cheats doesn’t love you so why be with someone that doesn’t love you?
No such thing as too unforgiving to cheaters. 100% zero tolerance to it is the only way to be. If you stay with a cheater neither you or your partner will respect you anymore. No respect = dead relationship. You have no option but to leave and you'll be far better for it. No exceptions.
You’re doing the right thing!
If you cheat, you're a pos. End of. You're an adult that is perfectly capable of making decisions, and choosing to cheat is choosing to really fucking hurt someone. If you know you're inclined to cheat, don't get into a committed relationship. Simple.
@Lyric Love someone cheated
@Lyric Love Leave? If a person wants out bad enough eventually they will get tired of it and call it quits.
@Lyric Love trapped ? No such thing
@Lyric Love just leave lol their is literally no reason to cheat a woman will stay in an abusive relationship because the di*k is good or they just don't have a back up yet.honestly your just a child if your mentality is I'm gonna cheat on u because u make me sad just leave but woman won't because the guys is too good looking has a lot of money good di*k the list can go on
@Lyric Love your trapped mentally .. escape
I've seen the adultery subreddit, so many of the people dissatisfied are utterly entitled and also don't properly communicate with their partner and work on their sexual compatibility. Or the bigger one: they don't break up when they realize they aren't compatible or they know it won't work out. I'd be reluctant to fully believe cheaters who say they weren't satisfied and their partner wasn't good enough, as they often have a warped view (emotionally immature, have mental illness, narcissism, etc.).
I learned the hard way that sexual compatibility was for more important than I expected. If you have a partner with proclivities you're not willing/ comfortable indulging, they might seek it out elsewhere.
Definitely!
Me too. I was left unfulfilled most of the time in my last relationship and felt very sad about it. It changed my own sexual relationship with myself for the worse; I stopped taking my time and would rush everything so I still feel unfulfilled. I’m still trying to get back to where I was in a healthy state of mind. I learned it’s better to leave for your own sake when it doesn’t show any chance of improving. 🙁
It’s only important to someone who is not mature enough to consider life and partnership in the long term I.e people who prioritize short term/immediate gratification over long term results. In real life, if you are with someone forever and you plan to be, as a long term person you realize that there will be a time when you too are not interested in or able to perform as you once did. People with this in mind seek after the things which are meaningful and above their own selfish pleasure.
I learned this the hard way too. My sex drive was more than my partners, so she felt OK going months at a time without intimacy.
People who prioritize sex over a person they are supposed to love are selfish and shallow. A relationship based on sexual desire won't last. If sex is a problem then both partners need to meet each other in the middle. Communication is everything.
From my own experience, I believe that narcissists and sometimes people who just have low esteem, are more likely to cheat as a result of their constant hunt for validation. My ex did exactly what you said, when he wanted out of the relationship he cheated on me because he knew I wouldn't forgive that, even though before that happened, he would threaten me with suicide or use violence against me when I wanted out. The weird thing is, I feel like I could forgive cheating in my current relationship. Humans are weird like that
Edit: good luck with your exams!!!❤️
I agree! Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the kind wishes💕
I’m very curious, why do you feel like you could forgive cheating in your current relationship?
@@MA-se1iv same 🤔
As much as I would want to be able to forgive cheating, I know I couldn't. You just can't trust someone after that. I would always keep that insecurity in the back of my mind. Better to let them go.
The girl I'm currently talking to, agreed that we will be upfront with each other about our feelings. We will let each other know if something is bothering us or if we're losing interest. I know there's no guarantee, but I think it helps.
Narcissists are souls and energy sucking people and you know it ..... very toxic to be around ..... being cheated in a regular relationship looks and feel different.... as the other party take responsibility and does better !!! That is the difference.
I used to ask my ex-gf about feedback every month to see how we can growth better in our relationship...that's a good thing to do...in the end our relationship didn't work out for other reasons but asking feedback is always a good habit.
Omg that's like my dream kind of relationship
wow. how nice. that's a great way to approach a relationship. better than waiting until she had to nag. nagging is really just a woman's cry for help
I sure hope your girlfriend also asked you for feedback too so it wasn't just one-sided improvement
@@jimbomacgee3499 actually it was just me asking about feedback! I guess she didn’t care how she can improve herself in the relationship
@@cm-yu6gu it's a good dream if she gives good and honest feedback and is also curious about your take.
It's a nightmare (nightmares are also dreams) if she doesn't answer honestly and/or doesn't care about how you view the relationship.
I was cheated when I was very young at 20 yo. Now I am 36 and this memory still makes me feel anxious. I dont know if this feeling will ever go away but I wish I wouldn't have this experience. People who cheat ruin everything. From people as individuals to families to societies.
nah u gotta move on its not that serious dont let the past control ya emotions ur a new person now
@@jalildadeal2247 dont downgrade their experience, this type of stuff can be traumatic its not so easy to just move on. it's possible yeah but its not that simple
@@strawberryshortcake5505 yea thats why i said it … it’s supposed to be the goal bc thats the only thing you can do
@@jalildadeal2247 its cause you said it wasnt that serious, i thought you weren't really acknowledging the weight of the situation but if im wrong i apologise
@@jalildadeal2247 saying it's not that serious would imply there's nothing wrong with cheating. It is very serious. But also, one must learn how to move on.
Maybe through therapy. But moving on has to happen.
My husband had an affair that last 6-8 months still don’t know if it was emotional or physical or both . I’ve stayed because we have 3 small children together but it’s torn me apart . It’s hard to let go of the last 9 year we’ve had together . That I’m sure is an other reason people stay . The time invested in to someone. But slowly I am making my plans to leave this relationship. He wants to make it work but I already know his intentions were never because he really cared , it was more for financial reasons on his part and child support obligations. Sad I know . He realized he couldn’t have have his cake and eat too along with some more dessert on the side. He was never truly sorry for what he did to me I think that’s what made it 100x worse .
Once someone does something to completely betray you they should feel disgusted with themselves for ever trying to mess with your mental and emotional health . Which is exactly what he did . It wasn’t ever just he had an affair and realized he was wrong . He got caught and kept going back to it and in between all of it kept telling me I was making things up in my head and that I was completely out of my mind . That is unforgivable.
I’m so sorry you went through this. You need to journal .. it’s helped me a lot. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have, if you no longer respect this person and you do not trust them, dip.
Cause it will hunt you forever.. You just can’t forget someone fuckin with your intuition. That’s wrong & abusive on so many levels. Don’t let someone lower your emotional values and standards. 💗 if you believe in a higher power; ask for what you need.
How could he do that to you after nine freaking years???!!! What the frick happened ???
Let me offer you the mind set that you need to obtain to walk away from him.
The minute you took him back you mentally condoned his actions and proved to him that you were ok with what he did to you. In doing so you just told him it was ok to treat you like that and he will continue to do so.
More importantly if you raise your kids in that situation you are teaching them that it is ok for them or their partner to cheat and that it is socially expected to be forgiven, which will make it far more likely that they end up dealing with the same situation you are living in now. And will make it far more likely that they end up with abusive partners.
Personally I would have done what I do to every cheater, and I would have outed them to every single person in his social circle. And made sure it followed him like a rope around his neck forever. Most guys don't want to be friends with cheater because then they have to spend the energy to watch him, most girls don't want to date one. The only people that usually are ok with that are people that also run in those circles. If you lock them out from dating normal people through awareness their karma tends to come around faster.
I've been cheated on, women always think I am playing when I tell them at the very beginning I will nuke their life if they try playing that card. But I am never the one who is sorry in the end. When someone disrespects you on that level and you can prove it, you don't owe them an ounce of kindness.
You are wise. Unforgivable. Be happy. Stay away from these devils who cheat. Time will handle those cheaters.
How is everything now? It’s hard I know
I always took two types of cheating seriously: Emotional cheating and Physical cheating.
Please add the financial cheating as well . You need money to put a shelter over your head .
@@maryt7959 Ummm what??? 🤣
@@BleuBelair probs means when one person spends the other persons money without their consent
what other cheating are you cool with though just wondering
@@sarahkay923 That's just called theft.
I was in a relationship and fell in love with someone else. As I realized this, I immediately ended things, and though it was very difficult, I felt really bad..I am proud of the way I handled it. Yes, I hurt my ex when I left her so abruptly, but my conscience is clear that I didn't damage her. I have been cheated on before as well. There's absolutely no justification for it. It's just downright poor character.
Just date both them bitches... whats the problem G?
How can you simply forget the love you shared with your ex now and get feelings for another...it's beyond me.
Why the hell people are letting themselves ran by sex hormones all the time ?
@@DacianWarrior you must be very young. How could you assume I just let my sex hormones influence my decision?
@@xcouscousxlive4003 I hope your future girlfriend has multiple boyfriends
@@_CL then she will be a sidechick not a girlfriend
Ana: Minimize the cheating factors.
Me: I have to break up with my boyfriend when he's 29 👁👄👁
I heard that people cheat because they enjoy the attention. I realized this was true for my previous relationship as I failed to provide my ex emotional support and when his coworker started giving him attention, he enjoyed it very much. He left me for her
yep
Don't blame yourself for it. We all blame ourselves when a relationship fails. Judging by you saying you failed to provide emotional support, I'm guessing your partner was depressed or at least hurting mentally in some way. My partner was depressed and cheated on me, and I blamed myself like you. After many months of slow and painful healing I got over it and realised I was wrong to blame myself after looking back at all the small incidents I overanalysed. You can't be the perfect partner 100% of the time, and actually depressed people are likely to cheat anyway. Unfortunately it's in their nature as they tend have very low self-esteem and are emotionally invested in themselves, so there was probably nothing you could do. He would only drag you down over time anyway. You'll find someone better. I hope after 4 months you're feeling better too.
Actually you were dealing with a narcissist. If he truly have loved you he wouldn’t have behaved this way .... people get confused about the real love and how does that look like it ..
Mary T stop calling everyone a narc it deludes the term. Less than 1 percent of the population has NPD so it’s highly unlikely he was a narcissist probably just a horrible person.
@@UnknownUser-nu8ny many people go undiagnosed
I am really happy you mentioned avoiding selfishness, narcissism, sense of entitlement, low-morality first!... you can't 'cheat proof' that. It is so damaging when people spread messages like 'have sex with them often, spoil them, satisfy them'... especially for those in narcissistic relationships.
👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
It's ultimately both. It's true that you can't change someone's toxic traits. And if they're sufficiently problematic, it's better to recognize that and leave before you get in any deeper. You're not going to solve a bad partner with good behaviour. On the other hand, driving a good partner away by being sexually, emotionally, or intellectually unavailable/lazy is on you. The best ones won't cheat. They'll just leave. Because at that point _you_ are the toxic one. But sometimes even good partners don't recognize the hopelessness of a relationship until they're confronted with an alternative. At that point they're already sowing the seeds of emotional cheating.
And to be clear, I'm speaking on this from the perspective of someone who got cheated-on when I was in my late teens. It was a wake-up call. She wasn't a terrible person, but she had dealt with my literal unavailability (busy and didn't invest properly in the relationship due to my own immaturity and sense of entitlement/invulnerability) long enough that she cheated emotionally, and then left before she knew she'd cheat physically. It got worse, because he rebuffed her and she got bitter _fast._ We both navigated the fallout poorly for different reasons. 20 years later I can recognize our respective mistakes that led to the cheating & break-up. It was definitely a case of me driving a good one away. I've made sure never to make the same mistake.
I'm a guy who's never cheated. I don't have the energy for more than one person at a time and I think it's immature af to want that much attention. But I do have trust issues and will subconsciously push you away so I can't get attatched.
I was just cheated on recently and it ended my relationship of 3 years and some change. She stopped wanting the physical touch side of the relationship towards the end and after about a year of asking for attention in that physical way, she decides to hangout with someone she used to be friends with (someone that she talked about hating all the time) and hooks up with him. She knew how much I wanted that kind of attention physically and she still chose to hurt me in the worst possible way. I did everything for her.
I never considered cheating to come from a "biological factor". To me, it's a matter of character! We all know that cheating is always gonna hurt our partner. No matter if it's a one time thing (physical cheating) or bonding with someone new over time (emotional cheating). In both cases, you are aware what is going on and what the consequences will turn out to be. Excuses like "It just happened" or "I didn't notice till it was too late" are just pathetic. Everyone of us is clearly aware when he/she decides to give into something. Cheaters are selfish people. Like I said before, it's not the gender, it's your character. A cheater doesn't love or respect his/her partner. Otherwise he/she wouldn't choose to hurt them on purpose. Whenever you feel like something is going on or your feelings towards your partner have decreased while you developed feelings for a co-worker/friend/etc., you can always retreat and do some thinking. Think clearly whether you want to give up a loving relationship with someone that has been through a lot with you for a "meaningless adventure". (Even if you are in a relationship without love or - even worse - caught in an abusive one, it's always better to leave than to cheat!)
Then have a talk with your partner. Even if it hurts them, it shows that you are honest. And it gives them also the opportunity to evaluate your relationship. You get the chance to talk about issues your partner didn't see before and choose whether you want to solve them together or not.
Cheaters don't do this. Many of them share the mindset of "deserving the best whenever they want to have it" and don't care about others. Their ego is super toxic. Even before admitting their own faults, they turn to the extreme. The best shown cases are when the cheater married the one he cheated with within a few months or even weeks. This isn't about love either, it's their own reassurance to them that they are not bad people. They might claim to love their new partner but that's just because it's all new and exciting. They depend their happiness on others. Once honeymoon phase ended, everything goes back to "normal" and they start looking for the next "Mr./Mrs.Right". It's a vicious circle because all of their relationships are doomed to fail. I'm not even sure if cheaters can actually love someone. It's no coincidence that many cheaters are suffering from narcissistic syndromes. I'm not a professional on this topic, just someone who recently made his own experience with a cheater.
This ! In most cases whatever the reasons and bachgrounds are - you choose to cheat. Emotionally or physically. Not even the cheating itself but all the big and small choices you made along the way show your true colours. Texting your coworker instead of spending time with your husband, fixating on the new girl in the group instead of your wife, going to this party and drinking too much, while your partner is at work. All those situations in which you decided to not prioritize your partner all led up to this and the actual cheating is just the climax.
While I agree with you for the most part, and you said it yourself, your opinion in based mostly on your own experience, I don't think that narcissism plays that bih of a role in general. I think that it's mostly, if not all of it, about morals. If you are a strong believer that cheating is not moral, you will not cheat. Simple as that. That's why religious people cheat less. They too have bad, abusive relationships with poor communication, but they don't cheat because it's in their morals.
My ex cheated on me and I was struggling to find a reason for a long time. Even he didn't have a definitive reason.
Then I realized that he just didn't think that cheating is immoral. He confessed it to me a week after, he couldn't look me in the eye, he was really sorry, but he did it anyway because he didn't think it is immoral.
Also, I have a friend that never cheated on her boyfriends but she said me that if you don't intend to stay in the relationship, a one night stand is OK, as long as you break up with your boyfriend after, and he doesn't find out.
So she already knows that she is willing to cheat if she has good enough reason.
It's not about the circumstances, it's about your morals and what will you do if an opportunity arises. Because you are going to have opportunities. Everybody finds themselves in those situations. And only people with morality in mind don't seize those opportunities.
I agree. I’m so tired of biology being used to describe/explain peoples behavior. Like, what happened to spirituality, the mind versus the brain, etc.? People don’t act a certain way because their blood and bones tell them to. Then everybody would be acting the same, especially identical twins. But they don’t.
@@sakurafan000 on point
@@KristinaTheCoolGirl morals do play a huge role but narcissism is characteristic of cheater i have read about it on various cheating articles.a self centered person is more likely to put their pleasure,orgasm,happineess etc above their SO hence more likely to cheat
Even with my friends, and people I date(first dates and cheating topics come up). In the back of their mind, they’re expecting to get cheated on and “I will work it out” NO BABY YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THE LIFE. It Hurts me so much listening to these people who just accept it. Doesn’t help the fact that half our society praises and encourages cheating... Sick of this.
If you expect the worst you perpertuate it .
People cheat way less now. This is due to all the non-monogamous marriages and relationships. I find this to be disgusting.
@@mateaukalua4426why is consensual nonmonogomy bad? If they are ok with it and discuss it, so what?
What kind of bull crap is that
Look everyone, the only thing to really understand is that the cheater has something fundamentally wrong with them and that you are better than them. As controversial as that might be for some to hear or appreciate, that is the single and only truth.
What I don't understand is why go into a relationship with someone and then go and cheat on them, at that point all your doing is just hurting them more. Just keep it real with who ever your with.
i think it hurts me more to read(in the comment section) that people who were cheated on choose to stay with the POS than to actually have had experienced the cheating myself. Like I can’t understand why stay? They don’t respect, they don’t cherish you, they don’t love you. Cheaters are a sewer clump of issues, YOU deserve so much better, you deserve a better YOU who then deserves someone Decent!. There are wonderful people out there who won’t cheat on you, in fact, will make others vey jealous OF YOU. Idk, I just feel so emotional today that Reading these comments is making me very depressed. Cheating is rampant in my family, my grandma being old school stayed w her husband, and My mom who herself cheated Is Oblivious of HER dad being a cheater.
I said the same thing before being cheated on.. I tried to find reasons to blame myself instead of blaming them. That is why I stayed. But in hindsight it was just stupid
Simple. Their self worth is tied to being with someone versus being single and "alone". Older generations had to deal with the bs mentality of it being "bad" to be single or less worthy. Makes me sick. Also religion used to preach to stay in toxic marriages..or they go to hell for divorcing🙄 i pray the younger generation is more honest and courageous. Im 46 and im sick of the " your so pretty WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?" I tell them "im over qualified".
Sandra I was the same.
Some people don’t cheat because they don’t care. Some people just are very prone to temptation, perhaps are having very strong marital issues, were even pushed by the outside partner/pressured. But it’s still wrong.
@@1Skorpia I agree with you 100%. If I ever get into a relationship I’m going to show how I want to be treated and be a good example for my future kids (if I ever will have any) how they should be treated.
To be honest, I'm only here to press "like" as a way of supporting you because this topic is too triggering for me to have the strength to watch. Hopefully it helps others! I'll be back when I have more courage 😂
Same, I was like I don't even care why it happens it makes me so mad
literally same!
YEs, omg same...
It definitely does get better ! I used to shake uncontrollably when triggered just from being traumatized by it. I was a really hurt human. But now everything is so so much better.
Ahh I feel pain reading your comment.. I hope you feel strength and courage in you fellow human !
My conclusion is, the excitement to somthing new and doing something your not supoose to do, makes your body rush 2x the whatever dopamin level, and you get extra turned on that you probably don't get daily in your relationship is what i think causing the majority to cheating choices. Then again just a theory of mine. Great video it's interesting 👍.
Your theory is actually true.
I cheated and it was awful awful couldnt even face my partner, ghosted them. UZp till this day I regret it alot, I wish I hadnt tainted my character for feeling neglected. And by character I mean the way I see myself, because nobody but me knows
How did he/she feels? If I may ask. Also, did u talk to them?
@@kenji2342 i think they know because we had a really strong psychic connection. I never told them, I couldnt imagine facing them so I ghosted. Tried yo reach out later they did not respond. Probably will feel this burden for life. Don't do certain things because you never know how deeply they will scarr your mental. Life is too short to be evil,people need love more desperately than ever.
@@_JESUS_is_GOD_ do you still wish to let them know? Btw God bless you, I think you've repented already, maybe it's time to learn but forgive yourself
I got cheated on and 5 years later found my fiancé. I'm also getting my license in Marriage and Family Therapy. There will always be a scar from being cheated on, but life does not end there and I certainly overcame it. You will too!
why is this making me sad :(
Why cant they just be honest?.. speak up, try and work it out, come to a compromise, or leave etc. Like why is that so hard? Why so selfish?
Thank you Ana. Keep your head up everyone. There are plenty of people that want a committed relationship no matter what. We just have to find each other. 😔
it's always a breath of fresh air to get someone explain things that they actually know about.
Yeah cheating/infidelity is very complex. But well done on the vid, buen trabajo
I really don’t understand how you’re not wildly popular yet. Every time I watch your videos I forget you aren’t a big UA-camr. Give it time and I guarantee you will blow up 💫 I love your videos btw
Aw thank you so much! I’m definitely grateful for the growth I’ve had so far :)
I was thinking the same thing! :)
Aubrey Kraus then don’t watch sis😂 your insecurity is showing
Lmao Ana you are not dull at all. Honestly I think your work is groundbreaking for the UA-cam psych community. Unlike some of the others here, you are young smart and relatable, far from dull. Not to mention you could probably breakdown part by part of the psychology behind why people are so insecure that they feel the need to say rude things or bring others down on social media, specifically from and account that is completely depersonalized. Anyway, peace, love and all that hippie shit ☮️❤️💫
Angel Morgan You’re very kind, thank you🙏🏻 I will never be one of those UA-camrs that shouts “heyyy guyyyys” and goes for theatrics to keep people interested because that’s not who I am. I try to keep this channel chill and professional. If some people perceive that as dullness, so be it🤷🏻♀️
Confession; I forgave one of my former partners for cheating, but no one, not even my best friend knows it even happened
your secret is safe with us.
How do you handle the possibility that he might do it again?
Travis F she said former partners, they’re not together anymore
Your secret is now plastered on UA-cam with hundreds of people seeing it as your face and name are next to your confession.
Just be sure to let your body count get too high. The moment your number of partners passes 5, don't be surprised when guys will no longer want to stay with you for the long term.
Simple fact, guys don't want to marry a girl who has been run through by dozens of other guys.
Ever since I got cheated on a couple of years ago, I started to do some research on infidelity via books, reports, and info from socials here and there from time to time as a healing process.
I got to say this is one of the most informative videos I’ve seen so far on YT. Thank you for sharing this video and I love how clear and organized your content is and how calm the way you explain it.
Wish you a nice day and stay safe/ healthy especially in this time😊💕
Hello baby
Catching a partner within a month of cheating is better than within years of cheating, but the worse thing that could happen with your partner is truly loving each other but they ended up dying at a young age.
why would a guy that apparently is “all about his girlfriend” cheat on her? i was really shocked because i thought he was such a loyal loving boyfriend to her. some examples that i noticed: having pictures of her on his phone, her picture as his phone wallpaper, her name in his ig bio, even tatted her name on his chest, facetimes her at work everyday. he makes it very apparent that he has a gf, almost as if he wants the entire world to know he’s taken and he prides in that. they’re also engaged. but little did i expect he would be flirting like crazy and wanted to be fwb. how can a guy cheat on his girlfriend if he really loved her like that?
I think it could be guilt. he might feel guilty about wanting to look outside of the relationship or maybe he wanted to maintain a facade of being very loyal or his partner doesn't suspect his infidelity.
@@priyakapoor5531 holy ducking shit I never thought of it that way
people I know always say they do it out of insecurity...
Some people love to live in a facade and sometimes they like to lie to the public and try to show people that their relationship is all flowers and peaches when it’s the complete opposite sadly :(
He could be insecure. He could be "flaunting" his relationship to convince himself and others that he's good enough, but hasn't convinced himself. So he's willing / eager to pursue more partners to validate himself.
He could also just be a narcissist or a psychopath.
You should have a podcast. You’re work is amazing !!
Thanks so much!!
*your
I absolutely agree!!
Agreed
I totally agree! :)
Ana thank you so much. Your videos have been incredibly therapeutic while I've been navigating some of the hardest times of my life. I love how a community of people that have been in similar shoes can share their stories and how they have moved on to brighter days. My girlfriend of 2 years just let me know she started cheating on me a month ago, a few days after my dad passed away. I confronted her about it when I was suspicious and she lied to me acting as if I was crazy. After she continued to cheat and eventually felt guilty she finally came clean but said she still wants to be with me. I feel so emotionally damaged from what she has put me through and I had tried to forgive her initially but I have realized there is no forgiving her what she has done to me. Thank you for your help and support during these times. ❤️
That's why I'm afraid to have a romantic and intimate relationship with someone, I always overthink that if I have a relationship with someone, they'd cheat on me :"(
Dude same! I've been single for almost 3 years and I am way happier then when I dated. I was always worried about getting cheated on or forced into threesomes. I fucking hated it. People are horrible
You have to get to that place that you love yourself enough that you are willing to walk away accept the betrayal and leave . If they cheat you leave with your dignity
People cheat because they get bored, end of story. Pretty much all the evils of the world boil down to this simple fact, boredom.
It’s their problem at the end of the day
No, that’s probably just why you cheat.
@@afreen5058 I'm not even in a relationship, nice assumption though 👍
Don’t worry ladies a lot of it has to deal with the type of person they are like their characteristics/personality. If the person is strong minded and have good morals there’s really nothing to worry about and those factors don’t mean anything because if a cheater wants to cheat they will do it no matter what obstacles their partner puts in front of them they will find a way. You can’t prevent a cheater from cheating, but you can prevent yourself from dating someone who is capable of cheating. A lot of observation I have seen in successful healthy relationship is good communication skills, having boundaries and not rushing into a relationship until you know the person. (Also I don’t believe that just because someone is well off you should avoid them completely it just depends on the person and their morals because there are a lot of well off men out there who are still loyal and faithful because it doesn’t matter what their class is, it just depends on the type of rich person they are)
agreed
Ty that rlly helped me
This is very helpful, I'm attracted and I've attracted man who are financially solid but in my experience lots of them were already married, some are single but still with this mindset of bachelor. This is important because money doesn't mean quality or integrity
@@marte1376 Yupp you got that right.
thank you for this reminder. often times i’m very pessimistic about relationships, due to everything ive been through, but its important to take notes thru the bad to help prevent being with a cheater in da future :)
Solid advice on how to minimize being cheated on, especially on how to tell if a previous cheater can be trusted.
So much info to help for people who've been cheated on but no out reach for ppl who struggle with staying faithful.
If you truly love someone you will not hurt him/her in any way, love and hurt cannot exist together! So if your s/o cheated on you then apologize and say they love you, it's just bullshiz!
Exactly .... because they know exactly what they are doing they are not legally insane !!!! I applaud you !!!! 👍
Honestly you're right. It'd destroy me if I hurt my husband in any way ever. But beyond that, I've never and probably never will even feel tempted to cheat. I don't get how that works, maybe I'm less sexual than some people but my husband is the only one who does it for me.
Off-topic but you're really really pretty.
Thank you so much!
True
@@AnaPsychology so you agree? You think your really pretty ?!
@@6bat6manz6thesh1t that mean girl reference 😆
@@6bat6manz6thesh1t 😅😂🤣
Emotionally cheating is not only cheating it's the worst kind of cheating,it really doesn't matter who thinks it's cheating or not!
i had been in relationship with 3 different people from 15 until 18, I was cheated in all three relationships. ever since that happened I stopped being in relationship and started to invest in myself, and now I'm 22. getting cheated on is the most heartbreaking thing you could ever do, its not easy to rebuild our self esteem.
There are worse things in life than someone not choosing you. It hurts but that's such a reach
@@LifeisaBeautifulting your reply is like when kourtney said "kim, ppl are dying", there are better and worse things out there, stop comparing
I didn’t know relationships can decrease the risk for bipolar episodes! Do you have a citation for that? I’d love to read up on it more
It’s in the DSM-5!
Also in case you're interested there are studies that say people with a personality disorder undergoing dbt (a type of therapy) have better outcomes being in a healthy relationship.
My mental health has vastly improved being in my healthy relationship but of course I am actively working on it.
Kareena Kai yes I’ve actually heard that before! DBT was like a major breakthrough for people with BPD. Thanks for sharing, I had forgotten all about that!
@@ProfNDKai ouuuu this is so exciting
Hello
Sometimes we tend to forget that there's so much more to everything. Thus tend to blame ourselves, when theres just so much more to it. This was really interesting
If we have to try to find ways to avoid getting cheated on there's something wrong with this world.
“How to avoid getting cheated on” you can’t avoid it; If your partner wanna cheat they finna cheat
feels like that too...then you cant catch them because you are supposed to trust them
As a psychology student your videos are really inspiring and motivate me to keep studying to get to where you're at. THANKS ANA
Is there a correlation between victims of cheating and eventually becoming cheaters themselves?
Im thinking about that too
That would make a great video topic.
yes there is if it's not properly addressed
I think it happens, it happened to me, not to be a cheater but not trusting any relationship or always having this mindset of "people cheat anyways" and you may do the same because you think the other person will do it. I know my experience isn't generality but all people I had known who was cheated on ends up with bitterness, resentment and start bulding a pattern were they become cheaters, not all people, but only a few truly work on themselves
Personally it depends, for me even if i was cheated on Im still thinking of never cheating. Its just that i know the feeling and would never want to make anyone feel that way ever.
Framing the variation in human psychology as evolutionary adaptation makes so much sense when compared to the contemporary narrative of abnormal dysfunction really speaks to the magnitude that the taboo of psychological manifestations outside the "acceptible" norm proliferates, as you bring me to understand my own internal bias concerning the subject. Thank you for your intelligent insight.
I really like the references being in the description, tyvm
Thank you so much for this! I was cheated on and blamed myself for it, but now I know that there were many different factors that caused my past partner to cheat, and that it wasn’t my fault. I love your videos so much! Keep it up!💕💕💕
Aw I'm glad this helped somewhat, of course it's not your fault! Best wishes to you too x
No reason to be in a relationship or get married when people cannot stop cheating. Just stay single.
3 relationships and I’m 25. Cheated on 3 times. I’m broken and don’t know how to heal. It sucks.
Travis F I know the feeling. I been through 5 now im in my 30’s. Once her hypergamy kicks in, it’s over. The best thing to do is stop being in relationships and focus on your purpose, hobbies and anything else going on for you in life. Just not worth your time anymore.
If people are cheating like this then somethings wrong with society.
We must fix it.
@@ingwetheafricansoldier9868 How are we going to fix it ? Either way. The cheating is never going to stop.
@@ozzycortes We can at least lower the infidelity rates.
People need a lot of life lessons.
Lessons on relationships, character development.etc
It is an effort that needs an entire community to generate the change let's be honest.
Very well spoken. AND I mean Eloquent 🥺👏..you could not have been more clearer💗
Ana, you have a very effective & concise ways of explaining the validity issues & limitations of this research without having to dig further into a lot of insignificant, time consuming detail. Also, I enjoyed your quip about bunnies “doing it.” Keep up the good work!!
I love how you add the time stamps
I think your existence here bcuz u afraid to be cheated on too 😔
Clicked so fast! This has been on my mind a lot recently... Thanks Ana 😊
Of course!!💕
We probably don't agree on a lot of issues, but the info in this video is interesting. Thank you for presenting so well and objectively. 👏👏👏
Cool ending to the video!!! Thank you.
Tldr? Don't wanna get cheated on? 3 things, have a good happy relationship, discover if you relative other is insecure and final logistics, Is he in a situation where it's easy to cheat?
Extra, think about what you think cheating is.
Your videos are always so educational and interesting. I learned a lot about psychology from your channel. Thank you for another great video!
Thank you so much
I love the way you explained things, in a very calm and lovely manner. Your content is also very well put together and I definitely learned something from it. My sincere compliments 😊
Your statistics are absolutely correct. Ages, time lines and motives. Spot on. How do I know? Lets just say I've lived it.
100% this is a solid video and very easy to understand and the points you brought up were very good. Thank you.
I'm glad I found your channel, you explain really well and it's really interesting. I actually didn't thought of the opportunity factor, but it makes a lot of sense obviously. Hope you get more recognition, you deserve it!
Thank you so much!!
This video actually consoles me abit, because I’m 18, and I just have this view that a very small percentage of the population is loyal and faithful to their partner, and I was under the impression that I was yet to meet a large number of these people 😅😂
But the reason this video comforts me, is because it helps me understand that there are soooo many factors that go into cheating, many of them I already knew. But In the video, she really goes into detail about how all the different variants can add up. It helps me see that, even the sweetest soul could cheat, and the best thing anyone can do, is like she said; put energy into making the relationship as healthy and happy as it can be. Having conversations about each other’s needs and trying your best to meet each other half way.
Too often are specific types of character or the background and status someone comes from used as a definitive confirmation that they cheated because of X reason. When really we’re all human, and there are a range or reasons why we cheat.
Honestly, the only person who really knows why they cheated is the cheater themselves. If they don’t want to disclose that info, or don’t posses the self awareness, those are red flags in themselves too. Similarly, as she mentioned.
All of my siblings have had experience with cheating and my dad played a huge part in that. I have only been married for 3 years but I am hoping that our relationship will be different from what my parents and siblings have had, I do not want my daughter to see what I had to see growing up with my family.
i hope you have a happy and a healthy relationship with your husband
Cheating is a sore topic for me.
In my longest relationship, I was cheated on, but she didn't tell me about it until after she broke up with me. It took me years to get over it, and realize that it doesn't mean she's forever a horrible person(I know that I wasn't a perfect person, and she was somewhat dissatisfied emotionally). Fast forward to now, I'm recently in a new relationship, and I already cheated(kissing, not sex). I became the thing that I hated. I could blame my low self esteem, my history of attraction for the other person and wanting to close that chapter for good, or other factors, but ultimately I made a horrible mistake, and I knew it. I told my partner the very next day (I have a horribly guilty nervous conscience). We talked it over and she reiterated her boundaries, etc, and i am grateful to be in her clemency. I go between wanting to keep hold of this lesson and be a better person, and wanting to die because I think I'm a horrible person and am scared that I'll hurt someone again.
how do you feel now?
@@alannajm we split a while ago. I was under stress about quickly finding a place to live and couldn't take additional stress of the usual "you should be with someone else'. Plus, she said to not lead her on. I also couldn't get over her still being legally married. I haven't really thought about any of it in a while. I'm not trying to actively start a new relationship. The most important thing is figuring out a career path that I can find a purpose in, and therapy should happen as well.
I absolutely love your content. Very informative, structured, and well-thought out. One thing that would take your videos to the next level would be to look into the camera instead of the view finder (it looks like you're looking off to the side). It makes the video seem more polished. But anyways thanks for the great videos.
How hasn't your channel blown up yet?! This is so informative!
Thank you
Siarah Barnum she's an academic. Those of us who tune in don't "blow thing up." If this was a gossip channel with speculation, music and graphics, that would be a whole other audience.
Thank you for this thorough and easy to understand explanation of cheating and it’s whys and how’s!
Ana -- I really appreciate and enjoy your videos and I am pleased that you time-stamp them into separate chapters for ease of access.
However, I do have have one small recommendation for improvement: It would be very helpful if you might precede your references with their respective titles which would make your audience aware of the contents of the reference without having to click on the link.
Great stuff!! Thanks.
Having bi polar disorder, relationships tend to be more of a trigger for me when things aren't going well.
I have no doubt :(
Ohh , can’t believe you had the courage to say this out loud here . I applaud you ! I strongly recommend you to work on yourself , be consistent with your meds and gets yourself a great therapist to guide you in life . You would have a stable life when you choose to remain single . Good luck .
I have borderline personality disorder and I completely understand. I have extreme trust issues and even if I fall for someone I can't seem to ever trust them completely and it sucks because I want to. But I just can't.
It seems like when I’ve gotten cheated on (twice) it wasn’t just one night stands it was them starting a whole new relationship with someone else. Who they continued to be happy with for years after me. Sigh. I think it would hurt me just as much if they had a one night stand though as I try so hard to be good in the bedroom so they don’t have those needs so if that happened I would be so devastated. The ones who left me for another relationship I almost felt bad for because they never got that time in between relationships to be single and work on themselves. Who wants to go from one relationship straight into another one? I don’t
It means they have been seeing each other for months before you knew that’s why it’s just okay to move on since it’s a thing already
Thank you for this info. It will become one of my resources on my research
Thanks for this. Very user-friendly presentation 👍