Alek Minassian Case Analysis | Autism Spectrum Disorder, Rejection Sensitivity, & Narcissism
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- Опубліковано 20 лип 2021
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Alek Minassian?
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References:
www.nytimes.com/2021/03/03/wo...
www.scribd.com/document/42761...
www.scribd.com/document/48384...
www.independent.co.uk/topic/a...
www.bbc.com/news/uk-56269095
Paris, J. (2014). Modernity and narcissistic personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 5(2), 220-226. doi-org.mylibrary.wilmu.edu/1...
Twenge, J. M., Miller, J. D., & Campbell, W. K. (2014). The narcissism epidemic: Commentary on Modernity and narcissistic personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 5(2), 227-229. doi-org.mylibrary.wilmu.edu/1...
I love that these guys belittle girls who only go for good looking guys, yet they themselves are only interested in attractive females. I’m guessing self awareness isn’t high on these forums
Yeah, like that 350lb woman who tried to slide into Chris Hemsworth DMs.
@@he-mememan359 Are fat women going out killing people because they can’t get dates?
@@Vonononie Hypocrisy, thy name is Yvonne. Why is it okay for average and below average women to approach guys like him but it's not okay for guys?
@@Vonononie Yeah, he sent back a sweet message, didn't laugh at her and mock her.
@@he-mememan359 when did I say it wasn’t okay for ugly guys to take a shot at attractive women? That’s fine, if ugly guys only want pretty girls, go for it. Just don’t put down those girls for doing exactly the same. Note the larger lady who messaged him didn’t then kick off, putting Chris down saying he’s just a Chad and shallow. No she laughed if off
The fact that “beta male, chads, stacies, and black/redpill ” have entered common political parlance and isn’t just slang on shitty image boards is just insane to me. Wtf is this world were living in?
Indeed..
A shallow one.
Really. I was listening to Dr Grande describe this Incel world thinking to myself, these people can't be serious. Chads and Stacies and Betas and some weird class war? Immature and bizarre. And the biggest problem is that it apparently inspires violence.
Nasty censorship.
@@DaisyLee1963 it’s literally a Marxist dialectic but instead of workers and capitalists it’s jocks and losers, with the outcome being an insurrection of angry virgins seizing the means of reproduction.
You absolutely cannot make this shit up lol
Imagine being 94 and THIS is how you go out.
STOP I’m rollin 😂
@@penelopephelange um, what? have a little respect for the deceased, please.
@@user-pj6oc5gy2q yes, I'm like what's their damage, they weren't raised right.😳 SMH.😑
@@penelopephelange it’s not funny
Maybe she has no empathy? It happens!
I'm glad that the defence was declined. Saying that people with autism have no feelings is very insulting and clearly not true.
That's accepting that he was actually diagnosed correctly to begin with.
My suspicion is that, while he may have met some criteria, his disorder was incorrectly assessed.
Empathy, not feelings
I'm an RN who doesn't deal with many autism patients and am not as educated as I should be on autism. That said, my weekend patient is a young girl who is severely challenged and diagnosed as being on the spectrum. She is mute but can vocalize her feelings w normal sounds of crying, laughter etc. She seems almost void of emotion until she gets to know someone which is when she reveals how much love and feelings she has. She always walks up and hugs me for no reason, and will watch videos w me and crack up at any anthropomorphic (sp?) animals driving cars, playing, using the toilet... She shows more emotion, feelings, and love than many of the teens I've worked with. I love her and always worry that people don't give her a chance bc she seems so closed.
@@julieannmyers8714 oh please!!! people like me who are on the autism spectrum are all different. Not all of us are as innocent as some of yall believe. psychopaths are not the only types of people capable of murder. killing people doesn't mean you have no feelings. Hatred is a very strong emotion that can allow one to kill someone without feeling any empathy for the victim because why would you feel empathy for someone you hated in the first place. I have about 30 people tops from my highschool days that I would kill without question if I was suicidal or knew I could get away with it. Growing up being a socially anxious weirdo, getting bullied and generally never meeting quality people that enjoy your company can really change how you view people and society as a whole. Its something you have to experience to the same degree to fully understand how hatred like that manifests.
@@vice2versa it seems you misinterpreted my comment.
BTW I have worked with autistic children & young people... we had an entirely separate program for kids with additional issues besides autism, like ED, for example.
Every student was unique & had diverse needs & personalities.
That said, it might occur to you that most people do not have scores of people they would like to murder if they could get away with it. And we all have had cruelty visited upon us by others.
We don't wish to kill because of a moral sense that murder is wrong, not because of fear of retribution.
That is extremely disturbing to hear.
Your extreme reaction to my comment is also alarming.
These are his victims: Anne Marie D'Amico, 30, Munir Najjar, 85, Andrea Bradden, 33, Sohe Chung, 22, Betty Forsyth, 94, Eddie Kang, 45, Renuka Amarasingha, 45, Geraldine Brady, 83, Ji Hun Kim, 22, Dorothy Sewell, 80. These are the people he killed. These are the lives he took. Please remember the victims. Don’t add to the killer’s fame.
The judge refused to name him during the trial, according to the National Post. Can we not do the same?
That's so sad
Whatever
@@youtubeepicuser4209 don't cut yourself on all that edge
@@SwedePotato314 do u feel smart or witty for using a joke that’s been around since 2013? Lame as hell. My comment was saying that this original post is meaningless.
My granddaughter has ASD and she has an amazing tolerance to pain. She's 24 and very intelligent but has poor social skills with people her age. I've raised her from 4 years old. She is definitely my heart. I love her so much. On another note your so close to 800k, I'm positive you will get to 1 million very soon. Rock on Dr.G.❤😷😎
My grandma pretty much raised me from 6-12 while my mom was running around with her boyfriend. Bless grannies like you ❤️
So proud of you and your daughter. I've worked with people with autism a d they are special people, amazing people. Tell her some ra dom UA-cam guy says hello and keep doing her thing. You're an Awesome Mom, please clone yourself 😁
You rock, not too easy bringing up a youngster with ASD, Wishing you both love. (both my sons have autism, they are now 25 and 27, still at home and we love em both like mad.)
@@FelixRosas10
♥️
I don't think Dr Grande weighs anything close to 800k. More like 70K :-)
Learned helplessness is a truly crippling and destructive condition that I wish more people were aware of.
What world do u live in if u think incels have ‘learned helplessness’? It’s normies that do
@@TheWieger01😂 Incels are the definition of learned helplessness 🤣 Why don't they set up forums on how to become a better, more interesting, understanding person?Because they prefer to feel sorry for themselves, whining and crying like little helpless children. Selfish, self-centered and toxic. They want "hot" girls, if they are rejecting them from various reasons they won't start to think "maybe I should change something", no, they will hate these women. And on these forums they only support each other's helplessness, which they could get rid of in most cases if they worked on themselves. But no, there is easier way, hate and being "victim". Mostly lazy, pathetic cowards, that's all.
Happened in my city, Toronto. It was a horrifying slaughter. Most of the dead were women. Officer Ken Lam was heroic.
Mine also.
he handled the situation flawlessly. very observant I would want him in my city
Fellow Torontonian, I still remember that day. I still remember watching the footage of the arrest, the officer was alone too but kept his cool. Scary stuff.
@@BattleManiac7 Sad to this day.
I'm in Ottawa. Horrifying attack on Yonge Street. As Vivian said, most of the victims were women. It is believed that he targeted women. I think this aspect of the crime warrants a closer look. The video of Toronto Police Officer Ken Lam went viral and is considered to be a superb, by the book example of how to subdue a suspect in this situation. Lam was cool as a cucumber.
Thank you. I knew his father personally, we worked together. Intelligent than and kind man. I was deeply impacted not only by the pain of my fellow Torontonians who lost loved ones, but also by the father's pain. I kept trying to crack what happened with that boy, and you explained it so well!
Alek Minassian wanted to inspire other incels to join him in committing attacks on society.
@@vice2versa that is exactly the whole story. Thank you.
@@Nina-jc3be why isn't youtube allowing me to see my god damn post??? it says view 2 comments before this one and it only shows your reply? I now have no recollection of what I said earlier.
@@vice2versa it might be because of the words you used. UA-cam doesn't like triggering terms. You said Alek wanted to inspire other incels to join him in committing attacks on society. I wholeheartedly agreed.
This is a really thoughtful video, as always. I did want to point out that people with ASD are capable of forming relationships and experiencing empathy -- we just do it differently to other people, and of course some of us are more capable than others. It's an unfortunate and extremely harmful stereotype that we flatly can't do these things, so just want to make sure people understand that.
I'm on the spectrum myself but I have never fantasized about murdering a person.
I wonder if he had a undiagnosed neurological disorder. The people I have met on the spectrum have never seemed remotely violent.
My husband is on the spectrum, so yes, those on the spectrum can empathize with others and form relationships.
@@disgruntledmoderate5331 Yeah, I'm on the spectrum and married to a neurotypical man, and we've got a few kids, some typical and some not. We're all pretty happy in our relationships, even if we do have to make sure we translate correctly for each brain type.
No shit he literally said this in the video. We don't have to hear the same thing a thousand times. Everyone already knows.
Everyone knows autistic folks are just as empathetic/ loving as those without autism. Jeezzz
Dr. Grande, thank you for pointing out at the end of your presentation that a vulnerable narcissist can be one of the most dangerous kind because can they hold resentments for a long time and plot their revenge. Scary!
I think the last thing a personal with mental health problems would want to read is that they are a dangerous person for having that mental health problem. I get it with loneliness
Lonely people = dangerous
I'm dangerous because I'm lonely = even worse feelings of loneliness, now alienation
@@trezza181 have you ever thought of volunteering with an animal rescue organization? I know that it got me thru some dark times,.and the animals are always grateful. ( I was grateful, too).
The narcissists of this world never forgive and never forget. They're just waiting for the right moment, an opportunity to exact their revenge.
@@kathyclark8274 as they should!
You guys can have Stacey I want Staceys mom.. she’s got it going on.
Underrated comment!
lmaooooo
Here sir take my like
Beautifully done 🏆🥇🎖🏅
All yours, but I get Stacy’s grandma
“The child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
Ouch! This hits home! Luckily only few actual humans behave in this over the top revenge!
That's pretty good.
People crave attention and will get it in a unpleasant way if need be.
Wow perfect statement where does it come from.
Today's Society lacks empathy. I'm sure this all began from being bullied in school. Very sad for all around.
@@thereal4113 it is the tragic story of our time children so isolated so alone they feel the only way to connect with that society is through the barrel of a gun. I've spent the last couple of years trying to figure out where we went so far astray as to produce children as broken as they are. I'm stuck in the childish hell of high school. But it's got to be more.
It’s sad how people like Alex and Elliot blame other people for their pain but can’t see that they are problem.
Great video Dr Grande. Hope you have a nice day!!
No insight. You need friends to tell you what you’re doing wrong and these people don’t have any.
@@Zei33 doesn't help when you're also a complete sociopath
@@user-pj6oc5gy2q sociopaths don’t necessarily want to be bad people. Like narcissists and psychopaths, some just want to fit in. Hard to do unless you’ve got somebody who can reliably correct you when you make a mistake.
@@Zei33 well, he still had family.
@Christine Perez Are cancer patients a problem?
Autism is also a debilitating disability, further one not understood by the victim nor the professional nor the general public.
I’d possibly consider your gift of empathy as an NT before casting aspersions upon people who don’t have such genetically gifted abilities.
The hostility of the NT toward autism, is more rampant than the ASD community gives back, albeit ASD is commonly exemplified by these famous criminal outbursts, which incidentally is harmful to the future understanding of Autism.
I am from North York. This day when it all happened was the first day with a nice weather. After long winter, all folks went to take a walk and enjoy some sun. Just to give you some context.
There is a saying " Misery loves company." That's what I thought of when you said about someone wanting to share and spread their pain with others
👍🇺🇸❤️🙏
I live in Toronto close to where it happened. I remember that day, transit was brought to a halt for several days. His father on front page as he was escorted for questioning....so sad seeing a father in such a situation.
Why several days?
I remember the pain on his dad's face. Heartbreaking for all involved.
I didn't know the depths of ASD until my son was diagnosed with it. It really is a complete spectrum! Always love your analysis Dr.Grande!
Do using filters and fake up apart of asd
@@joys8634 huh?
@@joys8634 ??
he had a messed up view of the world. internet can be harmful for people who don't have social intelligence to filter bs.
Unfortunate too because some autistic people are so brilliant, and yet so vulnerable to misinformation.
He slipped through the net for absolute sure. It sounds to me that he, and therefore his victims, were failed by the system. If you have a kid with ASD, alienated, unable to keep a job and freaking meowing to himself, that’s a sign to get extreme help. Many parents, schools and support workers just don’t want to go there and that needs to change.
We can't ever blame the information that's out there. (It's like saying guns kill people when in fact they're inanimate objects, and only people kill other people with various tools and means, including with guns or simply their bare hands.) There's no such thing as "misinformation". Which of us should exalt ourselves to the status of deity in order to claim that we're the arbiter of truth and then dictate to everybody else what's, apparently, true? The indidvual has the obligation of personal responsibility at all times. It is he who decides what information to reject or take in. After all, he will ignore all kinds of other things that might be very captivating to others. Those with clear thinking, good morals and positive intentions will not fall prey to nefarious invitations from whatever it is out there attempting to lure people in. If they do slip, they will soon catch themselves. Information is just information. It is only the individual who can permit themselves to be swept away. This is a world of consent. It sounds like this guy was cruising for a bruising.
@@anonymousanomaly9538 get informed
@@anonymousanomaly9538 Guns are tools for the purpose of killing.Nuff said!!!!
As a culture it seems worth having some conversations about how we view relationships, sex, and the autonomy of other people when we have this recurring, ballooning problem of murder due to romantic rejection. It feels like Incels are more or less angry that women can choose their own partners, rather than being chosen and traded by men. There is a lot of validation for mindless selfishness in our culture, and it's going to impact and end a lot more lives before we're forced to improve our attitudes.
Its ironic that you dont realize that you think the same way. You believe that you understand extreemly complex social problems with arbitrarily large numbers of variables and then you essentialy advocate social engineering as the solution for what is actualy a rather insignificant problem.
@@zoomies2 I doubt it's such an insignificant issue to people who have been murdered and the loved ones they left behind. I also didn't suggest any 'social engineering'- that's your own addition. Attitudes change as our cultural environment changes, and when murderous entitlement becomes the expected behavior then slowly there will, quite naturally with no engineering, be a wave of minds who come to see a need for change and who fight to free themselves. Our norms and standards are constantly changing. I would say all the advertisements, media, and messaging we get from corporate, religious, and political entities amounts to actual social engineering, and a lot of that reinforces the value of getting what we want at all costs. It sounds like you were struck more emotionally by my comment than philosophically or intellectually.
I wish I could get you two into a room to actually talk to each other! You're both smart and well spoken (well written!). but may be talking past each other! Due to pandemic and social media much of mediation is left undone! Good ideas are not fully formed due to lack of back and forth communication! Don't get mad - get talking!
@@Mizarriz i like how you can write an entire paragraph without a counter argument. Yes locally these types of murders are devistating but globally they are a piss in the ocean therefore insignificant. I infered you were talking about social engineering, you seem to imply that i had misunderstood what you were saying but proceed to more explicitly advocate social engineering so.... you give a bit more of your opinion on culture and society which is whatever, then you finish with a lovely little character attack designed to invalidate my argument in the complete abscence of a counter argument.
Sorry i cant actually read your comment while i reply i did misread your comment you dont advocate social engineering. Everything else stands though.
I live in Toronto, moved here, and I've actually met 3 people who went to school with him. They said he was smart, didn't really have many friends, and he'd wander the halls meowing to himself, but he didn't seem "off" other than being a weird kid.
Makes sense. What’s off wasn’t his “weirdness,” it was his *beliefs.* So unless you heard him actually speak about his opinions about women and society, you wouldn’t know.
Makes me wish people took it more seriously when someone who doesn’t come off as “weird” echoes those same horrible beliefs. Like people think being weird is what makes one a murderer, and not, you know, a value system where you believe you ought to murder others to establish your own dominance.
meowing to himself is definitely being “off” 😅
That might have been his own method of stimming.
@@sarah2.017 that type of behavior does occur in people with ASD. I've volunteered at day camps for kids with ASD, and I have 2 cousins on the spectrum. I've seen that type of behavior a lot. Usually a repeated motion, sound, or even phrase. So meowing could of been his. The only issue is, the people I know who know him say he didn't exhibit any "outwardly obvious" symptoms of ASD. They all said they don't deny he had it, but it's been greatly exaggerated to be in his favor. Although it didn't stop him from being found guilty on all counts.
@@DeeKate What about obsessing over one topic, inserting it into a conversation when it’s not appropriate? This dude at my design school always talked about his hobby of taking photos of bondage models. It creeped us out because no woman in her right mind would feel safe letting him take pics of her. He just had a very weird look in his eyes
The interview with Alek is crazy. He sounds like a 4chan thread come to life
LOL
so cringeworthy when he uses internet slang IRL
So many North American men talk like him it’s horrific
Lmao that comparison made me laugh, it's so true
It’s actually kind of scary to watch. The detective doing the questioning was fantastic and really established that Alek knew exactly what he was doing.
My best friend missed him by two minutes. He worked at the Capital One building on the street he attacked and was just coming back from lunch.
Cool story
What did he have for lunch? I’m hoping sandwich
I’m glad you didn’t lose your best friend.
This was huge in Ontario. Thanks for covering it
Dr. Grande, I am 35 years old but I still find your calm, measured pragmatism and compassion aspirational. I've also really enjoyed learning about the science of personality through your channel. Thank you
For those who might be interested, videos showing most of the Minassians' interrogation by Toronto police investigators is available on youtube (several channels, one also showing the integral version, more than 2 hours).
Honestly worth a watch !! Some of the maddest things to hear ( in my opinion at least )
It's such a shame that Alek came across INCELS rather than an ASD community. ASD is characterised by affective empathy, not a lack of empathy. Over sensory disorder.
*Edit. Spelling correction.
Thanks _-_ P P🐞
this is such a good comment. thanks.
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 appreciate it, thanks for the recommendatio!
Is there an autism community?
That’s not always true. Having autism either makes you very empathetic or completely emotionless. There can definitely be an overlap between autism and psychopathy
@@TipTheScales27 Saying "having autism is this or that" is not understanding "Spectrum."
Imagine going through the Great Depression World War II and then being took out by turd like that.
Lol. The next round of killers is going to likely be victimizing online grammar police
Being from Toronto, this event hit me hard (truly no pun intended). Thank you for covering this topic, Dr. Grande. You’re always on point!
I remember the day too; we'd never seen something like this ever before
Same 😔
It was a sad, heartbreaking day, indeed. I live in Toronto as well.
It's crazy.. around that time we had the Danforth shooter, A few serial killers Bruce Mcgarther being one of them, the Nova Scotian shooter, a man that came from BC and killed an entire family in Whitby, ect..
Oh damn your sense of humor is dark 😂😂
Very serious and sensitive topic but im not gonna lie, you calmly explaining Chads and Stacys was hilarious LOL. Christ, now the Incels have lore lmao
How can you be "rejected" if you never talk to women? Well except that one time...
men who are good looking get IOIs from women and are therefore invited to talk to them. men like alek never got that chance because they were deemed ugly by women
How often do you just ask out a random woman that doesn't look interested at all?
This one-sided chasing isn't how most people get laid.
There is somebody for everybody. If good-looking girls don't want to go out with you, then you have to settle going out with ugly girls. You're not going to get something better than what you are.
@@dickkickem Doesn't matter. In every way. A guy has to make a move. Alek didn't do that and decided to go on a killing spree instead.
"Vulnerable narcissist" describes him so well. We need to educate our teachers to be psychologists, or at least work with the psychologists, while these people are still kids and impressionable.
No, I don’t think so….teachers are doing enough societal/psychological damage these days.
People don't share their inner feelings to teacher
@@BaljinderSingh-xy4ik Teachers need to learn how to recognize symptoms and know how to handle them in a classroom. Both how to teach effectively and protect the others as necessary. They can then inform the therapists, psychologists that treat the child.
@@inahandbasket288 Yes, but the damage is less than the damage by the ignorant. Particularly when there is so much elitist control. Such as with American Christian fascists, even though they're not the only ones. There are many atheist corporatists.
@@dawnandy7777 only small kids complain to their teacher not adults...
Such an interesting story. I just have to say in my experience I have had Stacy & Chad friends whom suffer from rejection just like everyone else- life is just hard - ❤️ Dr G!!
I can finally die after hearing Dr. Grande say the words "Chads and Stacies" in that order
Indeed. Lmao!😄😁🤣
If a guy can't get a Stacie, then he will have to settle for an ugly girl.
This happened in my city, Dr. Grande. I remember when the news reported this horrific tragedy moments after it occurred. I know the intersection very well, and it is regularly busy with vehicles and pedestrians. So many lives shattered. The horror of this will never be forgotten.
I’m concerned for the little black cactus again, he really seems to like that particular ledge. Maybe he should have his friend the sombrero cactus with him so he’s less likely do do anything drastic. I’m sure the sombrero cactus is a good friend and will gladly join him there.
That’s my cacti analysis today, I’m not diagnosing any cacti just discussing what could be happening……🌵😁
This case is exceptionally tragic, hopefully people like this will seek help before acting out like this. His ideas of relationships which he shares with his community(beta males) are very misguided.
Thx Dr, I’m off to Monaco on holiday tmr yay!
Have a great trip! Don't worry about baby cactus too much! He has a GREAT therapist!👽👾🌵
It's not just a matter of seeking help but finding the _right_ help. Often what works for neurotypicals doesn't work for us -- trust me, I tried for decades. I was lucky enough to find Prof Tony Attwood and Dr Gabor Maté on this marvelous platform. They might very well have saved my life, although they'll never know it.
Also, thank you for the sharing the cacti! They made me smile.
Haha. Have fun.
I always look at those little guys. I'm glad somebody else does too. And I follow them around since they move from place to place. I have a bond with the cactus in the pink pot, because one time I thought it was too close to the edge of the table. But Eric.. we are totally neurotyoical... LMAO
@@reneelibby4885 I’m a very complex case lol. I’d push the boundaries of science for sure. However I’m happy and we’ll adjusted to societal norms.
Just leaving the fact down here that ASD in and of itself does not result in an absence of empathy, only low outward empathy.
it is true the that the amount of killers with ASD is disproportionately high, still not saying there is any correlation there though
@@user-pj6oc5gy2q Hi. That is very interesting. What is your data source?
@@user-pj6oc5gy2q , as Dr. Grande said the correlation of violence and autism alone is rare. Autism diagnoses have become increasing more common since the DSM-IV was published more than 25 years ago, so that's going to effect the frequency of the murderous sort being diagnosed as well. According to the CDC it is now up to 1 in 54 children and 1 in 34 boys.
@@sherryd.3425 hi, that was potentially a little misleading looking back at it. while a lot of high profile killers have ASD, that isn't necessarily representative of everyone of course. but if you go back and look at most big cases in history, it's likely that the perpetrator had some sort of neurological deficiency.
@👁the world in a grain of sand Hi, World! Please don't be disheartened. Remember the old days when every child was forced to make insane amounts of eye contact to prove they were "engaging" communicativly with others. That is physically uncomfortable and truly no sane person does that. There are many micro-behaviors that signal empathy to others through body language that are easily learned and not as overt as a hug.
Nodding slightly, offering a small smile, opening your hands toward a speaker at waist level, looking near someone's forehead intently, placing your hand near your heart while listening, saying "Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you." , or even just asking casually if you can do something to help out. Don't volunteer your life and money away, but it's ok to offer a kindness if you want to. Most of the time, once people see that you care enough to listen, as evidenced through small social signals, they will recognize that you are conveying empathy. Intention really does matter more than being socially smooth aa of the time. Take care.
Many of these sites ask guys to send in pictures and then rip the guys down, telling them that no girl will want them. the way they carry on and keep after them is very much like a cult . When you are young and have issues with self confidence, this is very toxic. They have a way of mocking what the individual sees as attractive and drum in a group think for what a man should want in a woman. It´s a pretty sick scene.
There are some channels where men can pay for a "face rating". A lot of incels and PUA are just scamming scum IMO.
Good analysis Dr. Grande. I get offended when they try to use ASD as a defence. ASD people have it hard and stigma already. My 27 yr old son has ASD he learnt to be caring and loving. He is a proactive person and gained full-time work. Sounds like that incel community had some sick people in it.
does your son have a girlfriend???? if not then none of that other sh+t matters.
MICHELLE, you wrote: "My 27 yr old son has ASD he learnt to be caring and loving."
Reading this made me smile. Thank you for sharing. :)
@@vice2versa Are you serious? Many aspects of life are rewarding and productive, life isn't just about having a sexual partner!
Some of the cruelest people I've ever personally encountered are vulnerable narcissists. Cruel and vindictive to the bitter end.
@Natalie I don't really know. I've encountered more people with vulnerable narcissism than I have people with borderline personality disorder. The vulnerable narcissists I've known are fairly dreadful human beings who've lived terrible lives; they are emotionally and sometimes even physically brutal people.
@Natalie I understand. From what I've read, they primarily self-harm. It actually sounds kind of sad.
How does vulnerable and narcissism fit together?
I thought the latter was defined by resilience to self criticism.
@@MrCmon113 The resilience to self criticism is a self-defense mechanism. All narcissists are little cowards deep inside.
Absolutely. Such sensitivity they have to their own pain, but totally like a stone when it comes to others' feelings.
wow Dr, i'm glad you covered this case. it happened really close to my home, and really shook the community. i think this is what made Canada aware of the dangerous side of the incel community. thank you for your analysis.
Also, please please do an analysis of Ayn Rand
I 2nd that request!
@@rayross997 YES 3rd
Add Marquis de Sade to that list.
That makes no sense that he had no empathy because of autism. My son has it and is very empathetic. He feeds stray cats. When he was a toddler he saw a baby crying and ran up very sad and said "don't cry baby, don't cry." That's ridiculous to say that it causes them to not have empathy
I think sometimes autism is really autism, but I think sometimes the diagnosis is used as a kind of euphemistic substitute diagnosis for psychopathy or something similarly shameful that a family might forcefully object to.
really sorry for the victims. The cop was amazing, if this were in the US they would have shot first, but here the cop showed a lot of good judgment.
I was recently diagnosed with ASD and I’ve never kissed a girl at 24. Despite getting a lot of chances with women, I turn them down because I don’t think they’ll like me. Fortunately it’s not that bad and I’ve found ways to work around it. It sucks for guys who have these types of disorders because it really makes socializing a lot harder than it needs to be.
@Annon194. You sound like a very nice man and I think you should take a chance when you’re ready!
Is Alek Minassian the _incel revolutionist guy_ ? I kinda get some vibes of Elliot Roger. I like it how Dr. Grande deals very calmly with such confused people without getting insane himself and I appreciate that you said that there are also female incels. Not everyone knows that fact. My biggest respect for you, Dr. Grande❣♥
Yeah, you got it correct. He had contact with Roger before his terrorist attack, admired him for it, and directly cited him as inspiration for his own terrorist attack.
@@Sahdirah Really? Thanks for the information about him❣❤
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose he goes through his encounters with Rodger on reddit during his police interrogation. pretty fascinating wwatch. Elliot Rodger even seems to have sent him a sort of personal good-bye before his own attack.
Elliot and Alex were in communication prior to 2014. They have an online history together and in part because of this, it furthered his desire for an "uprising" to begin
An inferiority complex is a superiority complex turned in on itself. The "incel" community illustrates this perfectly.
You could say the same about a superiority complex. People who project that they're superior to others actually feel inferior.
I see it operating the precise opposite way around. Aspirations for grandeur present as the only solution to an inferiority complex that they were assiduously trained to adopt.
If you accept another person’s standards, they’re going to put their finger on the scale to put themselves above yourself. Someone with ASD, who struggles with theory of mind, is likely to miss this fact and give every person they meet that totally unwarranted privilege. Consequently, they’ll end up at the “bottom” so unfailingly that it’d drive any normal human being nuts. They then think that the only solution is something concrete and impossible to miss, which is necessarily grandiose. Wouldn’t need to do this if they stopped respecting others so much.
@@somexp12 i agree with this.
Incels just have inferiority complex
I listened to Minassian's police interrogation. Good thing he is locked up. He is dangerous with his view of the world.
Yeah, we all know about JCS. Thanks.
I respectfully disagree with Dr. Grande’s views that this young man tried hard to commit suicide. I don’t think he tried very hard at all to commit suicide. What he did try hard to do was murder, and he accomplished it!
he had so many other options than the fucking wallet. this guy was too much of a coward to die.
Watch Jim can’t swim video on this. When he acted like his wallet was a weapon, the officer was not facing him, as soon as the officer turned his attention towards him, he put his hands in the air and immediately surrendered.
To enjoy notoriety, one must stay alive...
Dr.Grande..
Truest shit ever
My son has ASD and he’s a great kid. He has friends from school but also shy. Now he’s older I am contemplating going to counselor to help him with the transition to adulthood.
extreme shyness is a trait that can cause one to become an incel later in life.
@@vice2versa what you have it?
I’m a speech-language pathologist. As soon as you said that his parents were computer geeks, I knew you were going to say that he had ASD. I have worked on both space coasts (Houston and near Cape Canaveral, Florida). Those engineer couples make ASD super common in both places, since ASD has a much stronger genetic component than people realize. Kids with ASD make up over half of an SLP’s caseload in high-tech places.
Well, now. That’s something to think about.
@@mrsjprich You and your husband sound like wonderful parents! YES, there is DEFINITELY more going on here than ASD. The people I have known with ASD tend not to be fixated on hurting others. This guy had other issues. Btw, since we’re on the topic (and since you also seem to have been around lots of people with ASD), have you ever noticed that kids on the spectrum (especially those who do not have cognitive disability) tend to be more “beautiful” than normal? I only had one textbook in grad school address the fact that they have more symmetrical faces and proportional bodies than average. I find this fact fascinating, but no one talks about it. I wonder if this symmetry has anything to do with their mental/emotional rigidity. ASD is difficult to deal with but intriguing and fascinating at the same time. If extreme, it can rob a person of everything; if less pronounced, it can give a person unique qualities and idiosyncratic quirks, behaviors, interests, and perspectives that lead to unprecedented success (think Steve Jobs and Temple Grandin). Having said this, when my husband and I took in a beautiful baby who had been abandoned (our only child), I was constantly looking for any little sign that he might be on the spectrum - especially since he was unusually beautiful/symmetrical. I was relieved when he appeared neurotypical. Not to take anything away from kids with ASD, but they and their parents have so much to deal with, which I wasn’t sure I could handle.
@@mrsjprich Ha! Our little guy is 22 months old and gets that same attention from every stranger he meets - especially since he can talk really well and is really sweet and funny. I joke all the time when he’s being naughty that he’s lucky he’s cute! I’ve also said to my husband that he’ll get away with murder if he keeps those good looks and ability to charm everyone. My late brother was like that, and it was actually a bad thing lol, since he never had to face the same consequences as less handsome/pretty kids would for the same behaviors.
I also notice as an SLP that the kids with ASD get along with each other quite well, while other kids ignore/avoid them all. The ASD kids seem to bond on some level, and they’ll even ask about each other when not in each other’s presence - which is not their norm. They seem to be more social than ever when playing together. This might sound bad, but I love those brief moments when a kid in the spectrum seems “typical,” and I feel I’ve broken through the ASD wall and glimpsed at the kid as he would be without it. They peek out from behind that wall for such brief, unexpected moments that I feel downright privileged to witness it.
@@mrsjprich Aww, thank you! I actually LOL’d at what you wrote about the two kids with autism finding each other in a crowd of 10,000 people - and then leaving together and having a great time (with their parallel conversations)! 😂😂😂 That is SO accurate!! 🤣🤣🤣 They definitely “get” each other and love their friends just like neurotypical kids.
@@mrsjprich 😊❤️
Such a sad case may the 10 victims Rest In Peace.
Ah, a fresh upload from Dr.G.T hat's my next half-hour sorted. This is one of those rare channels where you can confidently hit the like button before you watch the video.
Always great work Dr.G!
A true compliment!✔✔✔
Is it true that you & Ernie broke up after all these years ???
I thought it would be easier now that you two could marry & all...
@@davidhollenshead4892 Please don't remind me of that POS. He's long gone and once again I find I must walk this cruel street without another by my side!
Thank you for analysing this case. It's fascinating to me as an autistic who, well, hasn't wanted to murder people. I can see how his autism was a factor in his personality and how he went about the crime, but there was a lot more to it than just that; the narcissism and entitlement and anger were at play, and the combination of those with autism made him decide to commit mass murder.
One thing I'd clarify is the lack of empathy is specific either to him or to his narcissism; we aspies do have empathy, we can care about people, but we can't read how people feel (unless we can study and practise it, and do so a lot). So we can appear callous or uncaring, but it's because we don't know someone is in distress.
For example if someone's crying, before we consciously learn that "crying means sad", we will ignore them, or be annoyed/overstimulated by the noise they're making. But if they said literally "I feel sad", we would care about them and might say "What's wrong? Can I help?". Or we might offer something that makes US happy assuming it will make them happy too, until we learn what makes them happy or what would fix the situation. We know how we would feel about different situations, so we can imagine ourselves in their shoes - although the problem there is people react to the same situation in different ways, so our response might be appropriate for ourselves, but not for them. I remember when I was little and my mother felt sad, I gathered up my toy trains (lol I was a stereotype) and dumped them in her lap, because toy trains made ME happy, and I was really confused when they didn't make HER happy.
My advice is: ask! People love to talk about themselves and how they feel, or if they don't want to talk about it, they'll tell you so, or they'll lie and say they're fine. If they want to talk about their feelings they'll tell you, and then you can offer to help them. Ask what you can do to help, or what they'd like, or what might help them feel better, and if they can't think of anything, let them know they're welcome to talk to you, or to ask you for help if they do think of anything. Sometimes that's all they need, talking helps them.
To summarise, I think it's the cognitive vs affective empathy that you sometimes talk about on the channel: we do have cognitive empathy, but we don't have affective empathy. Once we know how someone feels, we do care!
i know this comment is a year old but I'm also autistic and it really hit me in the heart when you said you gave your mom your toy trains to make her feel better because that is EXACTLY how my mother made me feel better and how i try to cheer up my loved ones today. my mom wouldn't cheer me up by hugging me and saying things will be ok... she read my favorite book, or asked if we could do an activity together that she knew i would enjoy. my mom and i both don't enjoy touch (i suspect she's also on the spectrum) but she knew what i enjoyed and used that to make me feel better and that's how she showed her love and empathy, even though it seems cold to not hug your own child.
I look forward to your videos every day, Dr. Grande! Thank you for your hard work!
If they are judging stacy’s just on looks they need to rethink you can be pretty but ugly in the inside.
Are you saying that beauty is only skin deep?
Thanks for the presentation. I worked at the block where he turned the van around to go south on Yonge Street. It was a nice summer's day during the lunch time hours when the crimes took place and I could easily have been one of the people walking on the sidewalk that day. Fortunately no one in the our office was involved. This the first time I have gotten a more complete story of what happened.
The Internet can really cloud your mind if you’re not careful. It wasn’t too long ago that I let myself wander into places like r/incels or those toxic MGTOW youtubers. Thankfully I pulled myself out of that mindset now.
For real, well done. I’ve seen said before that we should feel good, not just for who we are, but who we could have been and fought to not become. You avoided going down a really dark road, and that’s worthwhile.
Im glad that you got out of there! Take care, ok?
good on you, man
@En Ded buddy, that’s EXACTLY who I was referring to. Those comment sections are just echo chambers for guys verbally attacking women, especially single mothers.
It’s weird, it’s full of weird men.
Congratulations on getting out of there before they poisoned your thinking beyond health.
I wish Dr Grande would talk more about autism from a scientific perspective because there's so much misinformation and speculation about this mental disorder
This is definitely the best video in a long time! Finally some mental health content instead of celebrity stuff
Hmmm! I have found plenty of mental health info in all of Dr. Grande's videos!
Good morning Dr Grande. Great analysis. I've never heard of these people. Your analysis give me more knowable information for this disorder. Thank you so much Dr Grande
Thank you Dr.Grande for another fascinating subject......Very much appreciated.
I've been hoping for this video for a long time! You never disappoint. I also think it would be really interesting to hear you talk specifically about his interrogation... why he confessed/interesting things he said, if you want to branch out
I was hoping for this one.
You read my mind, Dr. G! Yesterday I ran to see if you had a video on this case after I watched another UA-cam video.
Thank you Dr Grande. I found your analysis very informative.
Bullying rejection and insecurity has existed since the beginning of time. I’m wondering if you have any thoughts about why we’re seeing people lash out and violent and deadly ways. The world has changed so much and some of that really for the worse. I’d love your comments about this or from anybody watching. Thanks again for your great insights.
OMG I'm All Out of Chads is my favorite Air Supply song.
Very insightful lesson at the end from a very wise man. ☺Thank you for your analysis Dr Grande! 💖💖
Incredibly sad case for all the victims involved, and very unfortunate there's online sites out there that fuel this kind of behaviour!
Such a great episode, Dr. Grande! You sure look deeply at things from evey angle!
Abso fabu! Thanks as always ~ Amy xo
I live in Toronto and I’m the mom of an autistic teen. I was so on edge during Minassian’s trial because of the stigma being promoted by his defence team. Autistic people are more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violence, and this idea that autistic people cannot feel empathy is a complete myth. I am repeatedly dismayed by how autism is linked with mass murderers. It makes life so much more challenging for people like my son.
I know! Its incredibly frustrating. We care! We care A LOT! We just don't know how to express it.
So many times I have found fellow autistics who are victims of abuse or violence, not perpetrators of abuse or violence. Even people who do not normally act cruel feel emboldened to be mean to us sometimes 😥
Autistics have their own alien type of empathy. They don't have human type of empathy. That's what makes them scary and that's why people are mean to them.
@@lucybullwhip8103 Autistic people are not scary.
@@lucybullwhip8103 If only your human type empathy worked and you were able to be empathetic towards humans who are different to you.
@@MyGenXLife you're right, they aren't scary. They are TERRIFYING.
Eileen UK. I don’t understand much about ASD watching your video and your great 👍 analysis makes me understand a little bit more and I thank you 🙏 for that. My heart goes out to all those people killed and hurt in all of this so tragic 🙏🙏🙏🙏. Thank you 🙏 DR Grande for another brilliant video. Love the shirt 💙
Outstanding analysis Dr. Grande.❤️
Now moving over to your podcast 🎧🎤🎬
"Empathy is a necessary component to rational discussion-making" Is this true? Maybe. If you have no feelings for others perhaps hurting them just doesn't register? But to me, knowing something is wrong should still keep a person from doing the action even if they don't know why it's wrong.
nah empathy is needed. ur moral code is fucked up if u think “i like rape and would rape women but i won’t bc i know ppl socially r against it” lmao that’s predatory and outright disgusting. u see this w many religious ppl as well. they will claim they don’t rape and murder ppl -not bc they respect others and have empathy towards other ppl and them being brutalized- but solely bc they think “if i don’t do that i will go to heaven therefore i won’t rape and murder.” so without religion they would hurt ppl? no empathy no moral compass? only letting ur “morals” be determined by ur religion isn’t caring or being rational. empathy is needed. morals and common sense should stop u from hurting others and not a fear of what others will think of u if u do hurt someone bc u want to so badly.
@@okidgaf7643 Lack of empathy is often not a choice, it can be neurological disorder. Humans are social creatures and lack of empathy is serious in sense that it can break social bonds. That is why autistic people mask- pretend to be like everybody else.
You’re right
I recommend Prof. Paul Bloom’s book: “Against Empathy - The Case for Rational Compassion”.
Empathy without wisdom isn’t a good thing, IMHO.
@@mirianakovachevic748 does lack of sympathy count for mental disorders as well?
We need more help for people with autism and no intellectual delay....there really isn't any. Suicide is a big risk for us.
I love every video of yours Dr Todd Grande.
Daaam!! This was a good educational one here!! Alotta lessons to learn from this!!!
Dr. Grande/Americans: “Tore-On-toe” & “Tur-onoh” 🙂🦅
Canadians: “Chuh-ronto” or “chur-on-oh” 🥴🦫
🇨🇦❤️
More like Toronno
In the Prairies, it sounds more like Tronno lol
I have autism and I do not have a violent bone in my body.
👍 the more I watch Dr Grande's videos the more I believe he really knows everything.
And the more I believe that he knows his field, but not 84 Ford Mustangs, suicidal cactuses, etc...
One of the best channels on youtube!
“Hello, this is Dr. Grande…”
*smashes like button* 😂
And he has nice shirts!
And nice cactuses 🪴🌵
Dear Dr. Grande,
Thank you for another wonderful video. I was hoping that you’d do a video on excited delirium?
~Rebeccah
I was having a very bad day until now! I had two videos in a row from Dr Grande and then saw the link to his store! And saw the alien lizard humanoid tshirts that made my day 😀😀 thinking seriously to order one! 🍀
Thank you for making this video.
The desire for name recognition/notoriety in a fame-obsessed culture is the elephant in the room when discussing these random acts of violence. I wonder what percentage of them would go down if the attacker's identity is never released?
The interview was interesting..I really noticed his body movements..
Rock on Dr Grande!! Great video.
FIRST CLASS as usual, thanks DOC
"Women won't let me sexually assault them so I'm going to hurt innocent people" lol society is so backwards sometimes
@Dirty Magic11 👍👍🧡 That's exactly what I thought about him, too. 😂 He is this type of person...
Why have to have " nice looking" in there?
@Unknown Elliot Rodger wasn't exactly my definition of misfortunate...
Romantic relationships are the most important parts of most people's lives.
If you're gonna be a spree killer, that's probably the best justification.
@@MrCmon113 Yes, because depriving other people of their loved ones is sooo justifiable. Just check out like a man.
Very informative and interesting analysis, Dr. G. I hadn't heard of this case before, how tragic! If only young men such as Minassian and Roger knew and understood that most women (especially mature adult women) don't care about looks too much but rather how a man treats us. My son is diagnosed ASD so this is kinda close to home for me. I have nightmares that my little boy will be misunderstood and not liked 🥺. I try to instill so much confidence in him and expose him to extra curricular activities and so far he has formed a good social circle of friends. Nevertheless, thinking about his future into young adulthood keeps me up at night and ages me. Anyway, thank you for your insight, Dr. Grande, love you and love your content 🥰😚🤗.
you sound like a great parent!
I have aspergers and going to work in management and have a good social circle. (Necer had a relationship though)I developed my social skills to the point where nobody would know that I have ASD.
I don't know your son but just know that it is possible to become successful as long as you encourage him to try and stay out of his comfort zone.
@@toomuchmushrooms5615 in the same boat as you,
@@toomuchmushrooms5615 Oh my goodness, you're amazing! Thank you so much for your comment, you have no idea how helpful testimonials such as yours are to my son and me🥺... Congratulations on your future in management🎉😊.
@@user-pj6oc5gy2q you're a sweetheart 🤗. Thank you for your kind words 💜.
Im having a horrible week, but getting to hear dr. Grande talk about Chad and Stacey's made it a little better.
Great story telling Doc. You area gooder at this.
This is one of the most complex cases you have described. I think he really expected and wanted to die. It was a fantasy that ran away.
How sad and uncalled for. I wonder if ruining his own life and murdering so many innocent people was worth the outburst.
May the victims find 🙏 Peace in Sleep!
His life was already ruined. Now he at least has admirers and people celebrating him as a saint.
He needed to die to become a saint I suppose. ER still gets more publicity than Alek does. Alek actually killed a few "Stacey" types. They were good looking gals.
I'm from Toronto ON Canada when this happened. The whole city was terrified and in chaos when this terrible tragedy happened.
The provincial educational oversight agency I worked for at that time did not even announce the tragedy as it happened. There were murmurs among the workers all afternoon. Around 3 PM we were told literally to shut up and keep working. This was from a government operation.
Yet another fantastic analysis. I thoroughly enjoy your videos, Dr. Grande. 💯👌🇨🇦