"Well, fuck this I'm going to go sell jello shots at ah one of those god damn dj shows 🎵Wee-be-be-be-be-be-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah🎶" That part was on point.
I flew the plane with the "club car" back in the day. As soon as the seat belt sign went off you could go sit in a comfortable chair and get as drunk as possible while smoking a pack of cigs. And yes, you dressed up. It was awesome. And once the book "Coffee, Tea or Me" came out, i wanted to be a stew. Then i grew up. Sadly.
Love how Bill tells himself "get back to the story" and just keeps talking about something else. ADD is funny when its not you staring out the window going on a ride thinking of nothing.
I remember listening to that podcast on a plane sitting next to one of those animals... the laughter I was going trough left my stomach hurting so bad I thought I got stabbed.
"Excuse me sir? Excuse me sir? Can you not sir in the sir please sir?" This is the funniest fuckin thing I've ever heard Bill say. Holy shit that laugh was a work out
This is why I love Bill Burr, he understands common decency. In so many situations now I watch people and wonder where there common sense or sense of decency is. I have to drive a lot for work unfortunately, and I genuinely believe that the way you driveis a reflection of who you are as a person. Signal lights use: them; plan your route and be in the lane you need to be in.
i miss PanAm. As a child they served goat cheese as part of a meal... it was how i learned i didn't like goat cheese. But they had good services in retrospect. They didn't try to cram peoplings like anchovies in a can, not like now.
Love you Bill Burr. Having flown domestic and foreign, I understand what you’re talking about! I dress respectfully and wear clothes that won’t melt into my skin in the off chance there’s an accident.
If Bill was on one of my flights, it would have been his main routine. Philadelphia to Vegas around 2000. A bunch of drunk eagles fans took over the plane. Harassing stewardesses and patrons. Drunken racial slurs, early landing in St Louis to kick them all off. A few of them never even sat down even during landing. It was something to see. Represent my city and my team. Something I will never forget, then an old guy got caught smoking in the bathroom and that turned into an issue as his wife with the American flag outfit was making a big stink about it.
Lmao!! I love plane stories so much!! I hate the entire process of flying anywhere, and you have my sympathy! I think my worst plane story is when my daughter, (who was 9 at the time), and I were flying from Toronto to London, England, so a 9 hour flight, and my spouse upgraded us to 1st class so that we could have a good time.. We were seated with this 400 pound man who was literally spilling over into my seat, and *farted the entire flight!* I thought I was going to throw up, and I was 4 months pregnant at the time, so I already had morning sickness, then I kept being woken up by every movement that the man made, plus his horrendous farts which you could smell from about 5 rows down! It was so awful lmao!! I think flight attendants should provide Imodium for such cases, because nobody should have to suffer through sitting beside a bloated gasbag for hours on end whilst being trapped in a flying tin can!!
I remember flying before that happened. It was luxurious. After, they added seats to every row, stopped serving decent food and crammed us all together. Now, it’s just a Greyhound in the sky.
Get yourself a Priority Pass membership, I think they cost like $200 per year (I'm not sure exactly, it's included with my Amex Platinum + 2 guests, also the Chase Sapphire Reserve offers it) but then you have access to Business/First class lounges in virtually every major airport in the world, even done random ones in third world countries. You can eat good hot food and help yourself to an open bar in a quiet comfortable lounge with wifi. Many have showers with bathroom attendants cleaning then after each person. It's a must have if you fly regularly and aren't already flying business or first.
@@jacappy111 Well, in all honesty, I imagined the facial expression of Bill, while he was ranting and that was enough for me.Thumb's-up for the emojis.
I work for delta and a few of my coworkers worked for pan am when they went out of business, they said they loaded up a plane when an announcement came over the terminal that all the flights were canceled and pan am had went out of business.
I have one hat box, it was my grandfathers so I just kind of kept it because it’s the only container that fits all of my ties nicely lol. There’s no hat in it, just a lifetime collection of ties all rolled up neatly stored inside lol
"Dad jeans and flip flops, so I gotta give it up to the guy, alright, ya know, to show that kinda quickness with like, ya know, a 1/3 of a shoe on." Lol 😆
Back in the 1960s my uncle lived in California , and we were in New Jersey. He flew every year to see us on American Airlines.. it was $500 round trip.. that’s like $4500 now. So if you want to fly comfortably now go 1st class.
The "good old days" of flying are all I remember. The last time I was on a commercial airliner was in February of '82, and that was a military charter returning from the Middle East. From everything I hear I don't believe I'll ever fly again.
I'm a travel agent and a little tip for anyone listening about the airlines removing people from their flight. The airline CANNOT bump you if you have a confirmed seat assignment. Not a ticket but a seat assignment "9D or 1A". When you purchase your flight, you purchase a ticket and sometimes people don't pick their seat and just plan on doing it at the airport. DON'T EVER DO THAT and always pick your seat assignment, even if you have to choose a middle seat. You can always try and change it at the airport but grab the seat assignment and then they cannot legally bump you from that flight.
Bill, not to spoil your rage, but the radiation from the x-ray machine is less than the radiation from outer space you're going to be exposed to by flying at the plane's cruising altitude. The airlines don't like to point this out:)
I never understood that about an airline...they kick people out because they accidentally over booked the flight...my point is the person being kicked out also bought their flight and is in the freakin plane first!..point blank..Screw the other passenger who came later than those who boarded first!
15:00 always helps to fly with: 1) Noise-canceling headphones (ones that cover your entire ears), wired not wireless so you don’t run out of power. Blocks all noise. 2) fully charged music player filled with hours of your favorite music. Or plug into the inflight entertainment music. 3) eye mask to keep the light out and sleep. 4) comfy clothing and sandals if possible.
@@jamesball5743 haha you don’t know how to travel long haul. When you do US-Japan flights or US-Europe flights you change into your sandals once you’re seated after take-off. And of course you don’t go barefoot, you wear comfy socks, and wool socks are best.
That show was called Bait Car and the whole point was because there was a high number of auto thefts in those areas that were never solved. But a pretty easy way to not get arrested would be to not steal cars just saying.
Aviation brat here. Dad worked/retired TWA. I, his daughter did as well. Saw first hand working on the frontlines from SW Airlines to ground ops for United to Signature Flight Support private FBO.
When he says level of animal I picture a cartoon tube filled with a bunch of cartoon animals and it's rising and falling depending on what Bill Burr says
Bill I was a flight attendant for 37 years I can't tell you how many people I saw go into the lavatory barefoot .sometimes it was a very attractive woman and that really bothered me.
I love how bill is simultaneously bald and redheaded.
and how ... he read....reads. like a ....special... needschildtaking.....child taking..an...opotom.....optometrist.
TEST!
Ginger is the new nude.
double curse
Justin S. What in the fuck was he trying to say? Was it English? He needs to learn how to spell and put a sentence together.
Bills ballbag is pinker than a bleached stinker
"Well, fuck this I'm going to go sell jello shots at ah one of those god damn dj shows 🎵Wee-be-be-be-be-be-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah🎶"
That part was on point.
As a pilot, I appreciate passengers like Bill
Just fly the plane - if we require feedback from the help, we'll ask.
@@cahillgreg 😂😂😂
He understands how pilots work, and how the plane works.
Just being knowledgeable makes you less irate, and more respectable.
@@cahillgreg Well that was effing rude!
I’m going to steal that phrase “ level of animal” so fucking funny. This guy literally has the best job ever. Funniest guy out there now
Bills sense of humor itself is a national treasure
"like 40 Yoko Onos all at the same time singing in harmony" 😂🤣😀😁😄🤪
❤
I like that Bill fights back against the machine. Sometimes he even wins.
"Why are you going to Indianapolis, Bill?" 🤣
Classic Bill Burr story hahaha.
I love that story so much 🤣
Listening to this in ATL airport lounge waiting for my cross-Atlantic flight. Beautiful.
Why ya goin across the Atlantic, Bill??
bet you feel like turning back....
Okay, now I'm concerned
@@sexyboyonzecouch gig.
Did u make it safely lol
I flew the plane with the "club car" back in the day. As soon as the seat belt sign went off you could go sit in a comfortable chair and get as drunk as possible while smoking a pack of cigs. And yes, you dressed up. It was awesome. And once the book "Coffee, Tea or Me" came out, i wanted to be a stew. Then i grew up. Sadly.
well you look like a nice soup, so not all was a lost dream :)
Love how Bill tells himself "get back to the story" and just keeps talking about something else. ADD is funny when its not you staring out the window going on a ride thinking of nothing.
“What kind of man has a hat box?” 😂
I remember listening to that podcast on a plane sitting next to one of those animals... the laughter I was going trough left my stomach hurting so bad I thought I got stabbed.
B
how is this guy consistently funny in standup, on a podcast with anyone, or just solo reading random emails?
"Excuse me sir? Excuse me sir? Can you not sir in the sir please sir?" This is the funniest fuckin thing I've ever heard Bill say. Holy shit that laugh was a work out
oh my god. I literally dumped my cereal all over myself laughing, listening to the fat man story. I love your rage
Lol Bill telling people to shut up when they start singing the lion king song. He’s like the voice in my head when I’m around a loud person
Ok never really listened to him but seriously enjoyable…now a definite bill Burr fan
👍
As someone that works in a cubicle, thanks for putting this together 👍
Why ye going to Indianapolis BILL?
Tyler Gordon yeah bill...
That one made me so mad
Literally my favorite story from him 😂😂
One of those animators need to animate that tale. It's amazing.
timestamp?
I love how Bill calls his wife "dude" occasionally, makes me feel a little better about doing it myself.
Your YT handle is outrageous
@@tomwoltering5071 Thanks man! (My initials are G.U.N.!)
@@tomwoltering5071 Your use of you’re is outrageous
@@Syv_ shut up Meg
I call my wife brother sometimes
This is why I love Bill Burr, he understands common decency. In so many situations now I watch people and wonder where there common sense or sense of decency is. I have to drive a lot for work unfortunately, and I genuinely believe that the way you driveis a reflection of who you are as a person. Signal lights use: them; plan your route and be in the lane you need to be in.
i miss PanAm. As a child they served goat cheese as part of a meal... it was how i learned i didn't like goat cheese. But they had good services in retrospect. They didn't try to cram peoplings like anchovies in a can, not like now.
Never flown in my life. Do they really serve anchovies? Good Lord.
My favourite comedian rambling about my favourite subject
He gat all airline confused
“A wizard walked up to me and what he said will change your life forever” 😂😂😂😂😂
"he was like a planet with a head"
LMFAO the brutallity that is Bill !!
that's definitely a joke from the movie "So I married an axe murderer" where a kid has a head so big it has it's own weather system.
LOVE Bill's no nonsense common sense!!
Love you Bill Burr. Having flown domestic and foreign, I understand what you’re talking about! I dress respectfully and wear clothes that won’t melt into my skin in the off chance there’s an accident.
I love falling asleep to this video. Thank you :)
Never realized I could relate and laugh my balls off at the same time!
If Bill was on one of my flights, it would have been his main routine. Philadelphia to Vegas around 2000. A bunch of drunk eagles fans took over the plane. Harassing stewardesses and patrons. Drunken racial slurs, early landing in St Louis to kick them all off. A few of them never even sat down even during landing. It was something to see. Represent my city and my team. Something I will never forget, then an old guy got caught smoking in the bathroom and that turned into an issue as his wife with the American flag outfit was making a big stink about it.
Lmao!! I love plane stories so much!! I hate the entire process of flying anywhere, and you have my sympathy! I think my worst plane story is when my daughter, (who was 9 at the time), and I were flying from Toronto to London, England, so a 9 hour flight, and my spouse upgraded us to 1st class so that we could have a good time.. We were seated with this 400 pound man who was literally spilling over into my seat, and *farted the entire flight!* I thought I was going to throw up, and I was 4 months pregnant at the time, so I already had morning sickness, then I kept being woken up by every movement that the man made, plus his horrendous farts which you could smell from about 5 rows down! It was so awful lmao!! I think flight attendants should provide Imodium for such cases, because nobody should have to suffer through sitting beside a bloated gasbag for hours on end whilst being trapped in a flying tin can!!
Of course it was Philadelphia people
Philly People are just Fowl Animals
One-bridge having motherfuckers
“Remember Value Jet? That one went down”
Unintentional greatness
I remember flying before that happened. It was luxurious. After, they added seats to every row, stopped serving decent food and crammed us all together. Now, it’s just a Greyhound in the sky.
I find it funny that Bill has 3 hours worth of airplane/port content lol
The movie "Airplane" was one of the best airplane movies of time. It was the most real movie of all time.
Personal fav of mine.
Leaking lithium cell phone battery + aluminum aircraft parts = 💨💥🔥
"They look like ostriches" 😂😂
“Lotta bare feet, Lotta bare feet”
...that was really funny....
There are no comfortable spaces inside airports. Unless it involves spending all your money.
Never gotten hammered at a airport lounge bro?
I usually just post up in a corner and it's not too bad
@@barryallen9466 bmp
In the airport I work at they have sensory overload rooms to relax in, basically a safe space for stressed passengers.
Get yourself a Priority Pass membership, I think they cost like $200 per year (I'm not sure exactly, it's included with my Amex Platinum + 2 guests, also the Chase Sapphire Reserve offers it) but then you have access to Business/First class lounges in virtually every major airport in the world, even done random ones in third world countries. You can eat good hot food and help yourself to an open bar in a quiet comfortable lounge with wifi. Many have showers with bathroom attendants cleaning then after each person. It's a must have if you fly regularly and aren't already flying business or first.
Why you going to Minneapolis Bill??
eedobee Indianapolis
@@enjoi0555 got the polis's mixed up
Used to have a happening restroom
Mona Lisa Ryan Gosling smirk
probably not any time soon.....
Kids fighting on UA-cam bringing him to tears 😂. I am fucking dying
Thanks for the upload. Always enjoy listening to the great Bill Burr.
“🎶 Take your hand off my shouuuuuldeeerrrrr🎶 male stewardess” 😂😂😂
"40 yoko onos (pause ) in harmony"
caught me off guard
I fell asleep to this last night.
I totally lost it @ 1:39:07.....I barely can write, while the tears rolls off my cheeks.
I'm at 1:29:0. Cant wait to hear that!
Omg!
I was 7min. in & now I'm fast forwarding to 1:39🤣
I'll get back to you, it better be worth it 🤔!!
I'm back..
I guess it doesn't take much to make you laugh 🤓💩🖕👎‼️‼️
@@jacappy111 Well, in all honesty, I imagined the facial expression of Bill, while he was ranting and that was enough for me.Thumb's-up for the emojis.
The sheer classism of the airline part🤣🤣🤣
👍
“that mona lisa smile” LMFAOOOO
"Holy shit, do I like being informed?"
Why are you going to Indianapolis Bill?
God this is the only ASMR I need…amazing listening.
Beat him so hard he went from Chinese to Japanese is what he was trying to say haha
He was white but his eyes swelled shut from the beating.
And I believe it to my core how awesome you are w your shows. I was very lucky to see one. ! Love you Bill
"Male stewardess" I'm using that one Billy Amber Pubes..
I work for delta and a few of my coworkers worked for pan am when they went out of business, they said they loaded up a plane when an announcement came over the terminal that all the flights were canceled and pan am had went out of business.
This is my favorite youtube video of all time. Thanks for making this
Bill you are a national treasure.
5:54 "Holy shit, do I like being informed?" - Bill Burr
xDD
Bill yellin at the lion king cast to shut up killed me
It's hysterical that Bill's references to real life are always what movie he saw. Yeah, movies. That's real life.
You’re not listening
Dude is referencing because it is easier.
you can almost see the light bulb over bill's head go off...hilarious
I have one hat box, it was my grandfathers so I just kind of kept it because it’s the only container that fits all of my ties nicely lol. There’s no hat in it, just a lifetime collection of ties all rolled up neatly stored inside lol
Bill has never made a long story short.
He's perfect for youtube.
"Dad jeans and flip flops, so I gotta give it up to the guy, alright, ya know, to show that kinda quickness with like, ya know, a 1/3 of a shoe on." Lol 😆
No backpacks in the Octagon. LMAO!
Back in the 1960s my uncle lived in California , and we were in New Jersey. He flew every year to see us on American Airlines.. it was $500 round trip.. that’s like $4500 now. So if you want to fly comfortably now go 1st class.
This is a riot, the fat guy from winnipeg story when the guy says there's a food court had me dying
Im just as big of a wrestling fan as i am a Bill Burr fan and his constant wrestling references make me love em even more😂
The "good old days" of flying are all I remember. The last time I was on a commercial airliner was in February of '82, and that was a military charter returning from the Middle East.
From everything I hear I don't believe I'll ever fly again.
Billiams laughter is the best :D
So true. Says what normal people think, but can't say it out loud. Love him!!!
The Moral of the Story! Be Happy with What ya Got! 😎
I feel like I'm in Bill's head while he's reading fan mail
Robin Williams as “the Aladdin”
I'm a travel agent and a little tip for anyone listening about the airlines removing people from their flight. The airline CANNOT bump you if you have a confirmed seat assignment. Not a ticket but a seat assignment "9D or 1A". When you purchase your flight, you purchase a ticket and sometimes people don't pick their seat and just plan on doing it at the airport. DON'T EVER DO THAT and always pick your seat assignment, even if you have to choose a middle seat. You can always try and change it at the airport but grab the seat assignment and then they cannot legally bump you from that flight.
Great tip..thanks
Bill, not to spoil your rage, but the radiation from the x-ray machine is less than the radiation from outer space you're going to be exposed to by flying at the plane's cruising altitude. The airlines don't like to point this out:)
Bill Burr is even right when he's wrong . Love that dude G.O.A.T.
I never understood that about an airline...they kick people out because they accidentally over booked the flight...my point is the person being kicked out also bought their flight and is in the freakin plane first!..point blank..Screw the other passenger who came later than those who boarded first!
15:00 always helps to fly with:
1) Noise-canceling headphones (ones that cover your entire ears), wired not wireless so you don’t run out of power. Blocks all noise.
2) fully charged music player filled with hours of your favorite music. Or plug into the inflight entertainment music.
3) eye mask to keep the light out and sleep.
4) comfy clothing and sandals if possible.
Sandals? This is the most disgusting admission how trashy can you be???
@@jamesball5743 haha you don’t know how to travel long haul.
When you do US-Japan flights or US-Europe flights you change into your sandals once you’re seated after take-off. And of course you don’t go barefoot, you wear comfy socks, and wool socks are best.
Con Air was a good movie set on a plane...
That Liam Neson movie was actually a good ass movie
Die Hard 2! (Die Harder...)
Flight Plan and Red Eye are both good.
@@comicbookprodigy995Red Eye
31:12 i didnt not hear "neighors" at first lmao.
That show was called Bait Car and the whole point was because there was a high number of auto thefts in those areas that were never solved. But a pretty easy way to not get arrested would be to not steal cars just saying.
So nice finally hearing how Bill met Bert Kreischer 😀
Ohhhhhh, now I know why people look at me weird in public toilets! I'll defo use the fly from now on!
Carl Hartwell damn, so that’s why you also kept getting ass fckd too, ya think?! 🤦🏻♂️😝😂😂
Aviation brat here. Dad worked/retired TWA. I, his daughter did as well. Saw first hand working on the frontlines from SW Airlines to ground ops for United to Signature Flight Support private FBO.
This video needs more ads, so far I've gone 2 seconds in between ads and that's far too long.
Lol loved the Donald trump meets Steven Segal impression
i would say the movie "airplane!" is a good movie that takes place on an airplane...
Red eye wasn’t bad. Wasn’t good. But wasn’t bad.
"Huh? I'm Jimmy Carter." 😂😂😂
“...can you not sir in the sir please sir?” 😅😂🤣💀👻
1:11:43 “…Saturday or, as they say in Boston: SAAAAAAHHHAAAYYY”
😂
When he says level of animal I picture a cartoon tube filled with a bunch of cartoon animals and it's rising and falling depending on what Bill Burr says
Thank you for this
10:05 they look like ostriches 😂
Passenger 57 was a good airplane movie.
Bill I was a flight attendant for 37 years I can't tell you how many people I saw go into the lavatory barefoot .sometimes it was a very attractive woman and that really bothered me.
“Why ya goin to Indianapolis, Bill?” 😂😂😂
1:39:07 Priceless.
A fireside chat is Bill with his pants off.
Wa be be be be ba Wa wah wah wah wah, right?