Thank you for watching, remember to subscribe and turn on notifications and UA-cam will notify you when we next upload. Is worry something you struggle with too? What have you found most helpful? Let us know in the comments below.
I worry all the time, but I'm also an optimist. I like the expression Hope for the best; plan for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I approach life. I worry less if I'm prepared for things to go wrong, so I prepare.
You strive to make therapy accessible to everyone, yet a 50min session is charged £100. I hope it will be truly accessible in the future. (Perhaps a subscription system, without an aggressive lock in?)
Can't relate. The most horrid things have happened to me throughout my childhood and followed me into adulthood. I had to actively teach myself to build up a world of magic and read constantly to keep my mind elsewhere than reality.
why though? Because our reality isn't conditioned for us but for struggle and conflict thus implying we are already programmed for such processes.life does not have to be this way guys we are the masters of our reality through our individuality and as a whole not the rich not cops not the govt. not the beurocracy but all of us thats why people worry because life isnt well enough so there mind searches a solution or a distant to our reality which lead to that assumption because if people are struggling its both mind and body
the video helped me, too. But knowing what the problem is is only about 10% of the battle. The other 90% is finding ways that actually resolve the issues you realize exist and I don't believe in Psychology is yet able to accomplish that final task for most of us. Maybe someday.🙏🙏
Me!! I've been realizing the past couple months that I'm afraid of everything, especially changes in my life. Also realized this was due to having overprotective parents. Only this year I became an autonomous worker after 10 years working for companies, and am now single after a 8 year relationship, so changes are all around me after a decade of familiarity, and it scares the s* out of me. But realizing I'm an adult and able to navigate the world myself is empowering and I'll try to keep that in mind
If you want to drive, you must study in a driving school. Why isn't the same when you want to have kids? If literally anyone can take care of a child, no wonder that there are so many broken people out there. "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men".
I am extremely insecure. I have fear in starting anything. The good thing is, as bad as it might seem, I take action towards improving myself every day. Making note of the little good things we do and the little advances we make is more important than dwelling on the bad things.
@lemondayne "making note of the little good things we do" -- You're so right! They say we should "mark milestones" and all of that, but I say, forget milestones; celebrate centimeters! _Every_ move you make in the right direction!
I think it's true to make note of something good we've done. The most important thing is to be graceful what good deeds we've done and evaluate the mistake
I brought this video up with my therapist yesterday and it was such a fruitful session. Once I realized that some of my deep-seared worries have childhood antecedents, it became clearer that some of the things I fear are all in my head. Powerful material
Yes. Paradoxically though, by fearing the worse and not being optimistic, one puts oneself at a tremendous disadvantage. You miss opportunities by being worried, you're distracted, it's much more difficult to respond in the moment, it's hard to think clearly and come up with creative and practical solutions and be able to respond appropriately in the moment, and are more likely to make a mistake in a negative fear/anxiety state. That's the paradox, though. By being positive without fear, puts you in a far far greater position to perform well in the moment and respond to any circumstance in a dynamic and responsible way should anything unexpected arise. There really isn't any benefit to worrying beyond using it as an indicator that there's an unhealthy memory, belief, or definition that one is holding onto and using is as an opportunity to identify it, realise it makes no sense to hold on to and then allow oneself to let it go. But it's understandable why a lot of us are scared to not fear the worse because we believe it somehow puts us an advantage even though objectively it doesn't.
I've been watching "School of Life" videos for awhile now, and I've come to really like them. I particularly dislike being lied to, or given a rosy picture in place of badly needed answers. School of Life does give me good to very good answers nearly every time. I really appreciate you guys.
good point. I think we need to make the distinction of trying not to running away from our issues but of trying to develop and grow a new way of thinking and carrying on in that New place elsewhere.
"The catastrophe that we fear will happen, has already happened... Mourning for our past self" the next step is to learn the things that we didn't learn from our parents and other adults which other people already learned.... this is awesome. Thanks
I heard a good term, recently, which sums up my existence. “Analysis paralysis”. It helped me to realize that worry, and anxiety, are an exhausting, but fruitless, way to live. However, my lines are blurred between worry and anxiety.
This video has impeccable timing. My mother was just complaining to me about a lot of irrational fear. It's night time and she is working herself up instead of winding down.
suzanne adamson Ouch. I fear that as a teen so I can only imagine how it could build up over years. There’s no choice but to handle those mental fears and regrets though, regardless of how much it’s built up
@@郎爱君 As a matter, this isn't true. People only have as much ability to grow as they let themselves have. The power is all in the mind. But because of jealousy some hold on to an imaginary worry because they want to feel like a hero for "overcoming their fear" where in reality a hero is made with self-honesty and integrity
I think the key that has helped me a little is control. Like say everyone really IS laughing at you. Say they hate you but are taking sadistic pleasure in keeping their hatred a secret as they smile to your face. What can YOU do about it? How is worrying about their opinion doing anything other than playing into the sick game you believe their playing? Do you believe the average person actually expends as much energy plotting against you as you do worrying that people are plotting against you? And when I ask these questions, I generally calm down. I realise that 1) I cant control other people's opinions and 2) life is too short to try.
Fantastic video. I wrote down parts of it and I am hanging the sheet on the wall of my bedroom as a daily reminder. Alain is seriously one of the wisest people alive
Another saying: "What's in the way, is the way." Learning to sit with the anxiety in meditation; sit with it, let it break into ordinary consciousness and feel it in the body without denying the discomfort...that sometimes helps it to process, transform, and move for me. Sometimes.
Thank you so much for this. I am a full-time worrier, though I've been in therapy for the past 6 years in and out, and I've improved quite a bit. In some instances I have already identified what in my childhood caused me to be insecure, but I forget that it can be applied to so much more. I really needed this, especially in this moment where I've been through some tough issues for the past two weeks and have been feeling particularly insecure and frightened. Fortunately, I have my therapy session today. Thank you!
I saw my mom dead when I was a girl, so now I have this horrid, impending fear of my partner dying tragically. I get unwanted thoughts and feelings. It feels like I'm so alone and that there's nothing I can do to help myself.. I miss being young when I didn't worry about him that way. I wish I could talk to someone
That’s really true and it’s amazing how you posted this now! this month I grew better at understanding “ how to deal with daily worries” through therapy. And I found out that the best thing for me is to deal with the worst things I have been through in the past and that I just never talked about. It’s really tough because I somehow feel like going through the bad moments all over again but also having to be at peace with what happened, for example forgiving others, forgiving myself, acknowledging that not everything that happened was necessarily about me, and that I am not that big of deal to feel like everyone wanted to hurt me in the past or now.. and “moving on” is the biggest step that will allow us to be free and truly grow.
I totally agree with this. I have experience the understanding, now I'm adult, and now I have the tool and more power to face my problems. unlike when I was a child. so grown ups, be happy! this is a good news. that we can do better!
I suffer from emotionally unstable personality disorder. Its constant. Its the way my brain works. These videos are my lifeline. I feel so soothed by listening to this guy. Thankyou so much. Xx
I once tried to worry when I wanted to do something fun because I wanted to feel like I was a hero just for overcoming it. Now I know being a hero is learning to mourn your past but not dwelling on your past regrets
Worry is indeed something I struggle with. I fear making mistakes that hurt the people around me, like being too slow holding people up and causing them to get mad at me. I worry about getting hurt myself. I worry about the food I eat causing me to fall ill. I worry about becoming a terrible nuisance to my environment. I worry about how my family would get depressed because I ended up killing myself. I worry about my brain not working well enough to earn a living causing me to live in poverty and dying of starvation. I worry about not being able to retrain my brain to become a productive member of society. I worry about getting overwhelmed. But I have found it helpful to watch videos and read books to increase my intelligence. I've found it helpful to talk with my support workers about my issues. I've found it helpful to talk to my councilor. I've found the medication I'm taking, help me focus my attention for longer. I've found it helpful to plan things out, and remind myself of all the things I've managed to accomplish in the day. I've found it helpful to relax in the evening and play some games. Also doing some stretching and exercise in the morning seems to wake me up enough to have a better day. I have yet to learn not to kick myself in the but all the time. But I guess, if life was perfect, it might not be any fun.
I'm forever grateful to my mother for giving me the tools to deal with all the crap life has thrown. I didn't know it then, but the older I get the more I appreciate it. I'll be sharing this video with all the worriers I know and love. Hopefully they will like it as much as I do. Thanks
This is very helpful , as a NDPH fighter there’s a shift in my nature and I worry. your video helps me understand that the worst has happened already and there’s no point worrying now - I am hopeful to recover from it instead of worrying about it. Many thanks 🙏🏻
Well, this video was uploaded in the right time. I'm just turning 23 this month and I have some issues. I spend more time thinking about who I wanna be, what should I do, am I good enough, who will I marry with or will I marry someday, and so on and so forth. Basically it's all about career, relationship, and self knowledge. I've watched your videos since your subs less than a million, but look at you now, you have more than three millions! Congrats! Thanks for sharing and spreading knowledge. Thanks a lot. Thanks Alain ;)
This is one of the best explanations of my worry I’ve ever seen. Thank you for showing people we worry because it has happened before not because we exaggerate our current situation.
Just came up as notification when I was lying down worrying about stuff. I won't say it helped a lot, because I am worried that it will come back when I exit this video. But it gave me joy when I heard that there's more people like me who worry, but stay on as functional adults. Thanks, SOL.
life is full of stress from health to future job to money i advice you guys to stop smoking or drinking to be free of your worries just live life in healthy way
The idea of making peace with your messed up and frightening childhood was amazing. And the quote was really stimulating: "The catastrophe that we fear will happen has actually already happened." Thanks for the video ♥
Sankalp, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
It's normal to worry about the future or things beyond your control. But you can do better by focusing on what you can do, one thing at a time. Yes, you certainly can. :)
I never was a worrier until about 2 years ago after some bad events, I began to develop hypochondria. It’s been such a hard road but hopefully almost over.
So I've come to a point of rewatching some of TSoL's videos, and I have to say one of the most influential ways in which these seem to influence me immediately is I get to not feel so lonely in my now adult(ish) life. Thank you TSoL, you have already made my existence significantly easier & it's only been like 3 months since I've come across this channel
Friend, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Between taking account of a tendency toward arrogance and a rejection of intimacy, it's taken a good bit of effort to even accept that I must have experienced humiliation and neglect in childhood. I try to overcome resenting my parents by considering them unfortunate because they must have experienced the same thing, and to the extent, moreover, of unconsciously inflicting it on people I know that they love.
Liz, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Nice video. In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
This probably unrelated but I've spent the last year of my life actively trying to put myself in situations that force me to boil in my deepest fears. And I feel great!
This video brings up some great points, and it will help me to better rationalize my worries in the future. However, some of the things that I worry about, although they may stem from my childhood, are ongoing issues; learned behaviors and bad habits that have evolved from coping mechanisms from my younger days, and have managed to manifest themselves in my adult life. I'm worried about who I'm going to become, and if I can ever become my best self. I'm worried about how I tend to go on auto-pilot, and how I tend to turn to escapism when push comes to shove, especially when in my mind I KNOW that I'm wasting my time, and I KNOW that I could be spending my time constructively instead of caving into temptation and using distractions to temporarily ease the stress upcoming deadlines while simultaneously digging myself into a deeper hole. I'm worried that I'll never break this cycle. I'm worried that I'll be stuck with the flaws that I was born with, and I will never be able to grow past them. I'm trying to improve, I really am, but every video I find is about coming to accept yourself. Every piece of advice that I receive just encourages me to accept my flaws as an unchangeable part of who I am. What if I want to change? What if I don't necessarily like who I am? Or at the very least, what if I don't like a certain aspect of who I am? I find myself having to corner myself into getting things done. I have to squeeze motivation out of myself by trapping myself into situations that force me to work, that force me to meet deadlines, that force me to improve. What do I do when worrying is the only incentive I have? The School of Life, I'd really appreciate it if you could address this issue in a video. I feel like I'm not alone in this struggle. I'd just like some guidance. I'm optimistic. I truly believe that, one day, I'll be able to work everything out. It's just pretty discouraging when the small, day-to-day tasks that pave the way to self improvement feel so insurmountable at times.... but I'll make it. I know I can. [This will probably get lost in the ocean of text that is the comments section, but it felt good to vent. If anybody is actually reading this, and you've managed to sift through all of my ramblings, just know that you're on the path to improvement. I mean, you wouldn't be watching these videos if you weren't trying, right? We'll make it, one step at a time.]
Mr. Dood . u just expressed the exact way that I wanted to. just like u I was asking for answers everywhere but we are adults we have the responsibility to push ourselves to work, yeah a bit of advice is needed though,. I guess this guy can help u. Go check mensutra. He can really help u.
Accept change if it makes you happy and please stop the all Or nothing thinking. Are you taking steps to work towards yourself? If yes then that's enough. You CAN'T BE PERFECT, let go of it. You will always have flaws, again that doesn't mean you don't improve but you can't always be perfect and not anxious and calm everyday. Work hard everyday.
Your Videos help me so much. Thank you. I had a terrible childhood with all kinds of abuse. Still today at age 78 I have to work on understanding what happened and remember that yesterday is not today.
I've already been so fucked up by life that I only worry about one thing. When the day comes when I'm at the end of my strength... I hope it won't hurt.
@@Todd-w6u It all depends on the person. If you live your life to the fullest, realize your plans, were born healthy and in a wealthy family... then you probably don't think about such "unpleasant" situations that may be lurking around the corner. However, it is worse when a person lives in a world that is filled with pain, suffering and futility. When, for example, you have a painful, fatal chronic disease (incurable), which slowly but systematically exposes you to subsequent stages of physical torment. Then you look at the "painless and quick end" differently. Then it is not in the category of "everyone dreams about it deep down" but rather a wish from Aladdin's lamp.
This one really hits home. My seemingly endless pattern of recurring thoughts with grief as the central theme can only end once these voices have been heard. I'm not sure why that hasn't been allowed, so far.
Worry and uncertainty seem to come hand in hand. Some things in our past makes us react in certain ways but we can also make the conscious effort to change, and so the worry and uncertainty don’t depend on external factors but internal movements
I wanted to just give The School Of Life major props, I love philosophy and analysis yet do not find enough view points or perspectives. I am convinced that our culture does not value the concepts nor the wisdom brought with them simply because it is uncomfortable to admit fault in a society that aims to condemn anyone with faults(which is everyone) for being “weak”. I’ve followed your videos for awhile, and still find ways to elaborate and build on my own thoughts and perceptions thanks to your considerate interpretations. UA-cam needs more channels like this, and I greatly appreciate you guys making these videos
Thanks but I’m more worried about real things that I can’t avoid like my future self’s future children, increasing house prices and where to live when I get to that point
This video resonates with me a lot because this is exactly the state I'm usually in, at least nowadays anyway. Worrying thoughts come to me compulsively and it's hard to get rid of them or be able to process them adequately. But I can't just let my life pass by being too scared and insecure to enjoy the present. I've decided to get me a (another) therapist to hopefully help me tackle this.
Perhaps its the suggestion that childhood trauma is to blame? It can be very scary to go digging in the past if one has some unresolved stuff there. I don't assume to know your situation, just a suggestion. Best of luck to you.
The truth in this life in the world is that no one knows what they are doing, everyone is just winging it. Sad but true. We have all evolved and continue to evolve from a traumatised society and individuals globally, from the beginning of life on the planet.
Thank you for watching, remember to subscribe and turn on notifications and UA-cam will notify you when we next upload. Is worry something you struggle with too? What have you found most helpful? Let us know in the comments below.
I worry all the time, but I'm also an optimist. I like the expression Hope for the best; plan for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I approach life. I worry less if I'm prepared for things to go wrong, so I prepare.
Buddy3439 - Thanks!
I love your beautiful voice!
You strive to make therapy accessible to everyone, yet a 50min session is charged £100. I hope it will be truly accessible in the future. (Perhaps a subscription system, without an aggressive lock in?)
I think worry is the sense that gets us up to keep moving, that is, if you have the right conditioning.
This reminded me of Mark Twain's quote "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." So very well put.
Thanks for the quote, but it was not Mark Twain.
quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/04/never-happened/
@Glendolyn Minxalyn It means most of his troubles happen in his mind rather than reality.
That reminded me of the time I didn’t ask
@@alfiecarmichael1422 Ratio + Dont care + This you 🤓
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality
Can't relate. The most horrid things have happened to me throughout my childhood and followed me into adulthood. I had to actively teach myself to build up a world of magic and read constantly to keep my mind elsewhere than reality.
Sometimes I worry, but things don't always go the way I think they will. Thanks for the video, TSoL!
reality is imagination
Seneca...nice
why though? Because our reality isn't conditioned for us but for struggle and conflict thus implying we are already programmed for such processes.life does not have to be this way guys we are the masters of our reality through our individuality and as a whole not the rich not cops not the govt. not the beurocracy but all of us thats why people worry because life isnt well enough so there mind searches a solution or a distant to our reality which lead to that assumption because if people are struggling its both mind and body
When you worry, you suffer twice.
Or a thousand times!
Woah
And anxiety worsens the pain
“Ghosts don't haunt people--their memories do.”
― Alexandra Bracken, Never Fade
Don’t know who else is around 6 years after this came out. But this has helped me today.
Thank you.
Me!!
I still arrive at the airport 6 hours early because I worry about missing my flight 😬
the video helped me, too. But knowing what the problem is is only about 10% of the battle. The other 90% is finding ways that actually resolve the issues you realize exist and I don't believe in Psychology is yet able to accomplish that final task for most of us. Maybe someday.🙏🙏
Me!! I've been realizing the past couple months that I'm afraid of everything, especially changes in my life. Also realized this was due to having overprotective parents.
Only this year I became an autonomous worker after 10 years working for companies, and am now single after a 8 year relationship, so changes are all around me after a decade of familiarity, and it scares the s* out of me. But realizing I'm an adult and able to navigate the world myself is empowering and I'll try to keep that in mind
So childhood is primary at all time. That's why I think some people should be licensed to have kids.
Mathias Laurence exactly
The worlds full of stupid people who don’t understand that having and raising children is the hardest and most important thing a couple can do.
On point.
If you want to drive, you must study in a driving school. Why isn't the same when you want to have kids?
If literally anyone can take care of a child, no wonder that there are so many broken people out there.
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men".
Agreed
I am extremely insecure. I have fear in starting anything. The good thing is, as bad as it might seem, I take action towards improving myself every day. Making note of the little good things we do and the little advances we make is more important than dwelling on the bad things.
nice👏
One step after another - as you say! Wishing you good luck and don't have to high of expectations on you.
@lemondayne "making note of the little good things we do" -- You're so right! They say we should "mark milestones" and all of that, but I say, forget milestones; celebrate centimeters! _Every_ move you make in the right direction!
I think it's true to make note of something good we've done. The most important thing is to be graceful what good deeds we've done and evaluate the mistake
Yes I find that keeping a diary of exercise and meditation really helps me maintain these healthy habits.
I waste so much of my life worrying. Thanks for the content.
👍
Anything learned, to survive can be unlearned, to Thrive !
I brought this video up with my therapist yesterday and it was such a fruitful session. Once I realized that some of my deep-seared worries have childhood antecedents, it became clearer that some of the things I fear are all in my head. Powerful material
Is anyone else *scared* to be optimistic/not fear the worst?
Yes I do fear not assuming the worst because it makes me feel like I’m not prepared for the worst
Absolutely
Yes. Paradoxically though, by fearing the worse and not being optimistic, one puts oneself at a tremendous disadvantage. You miss opportunities by being worried, you're distracted, it's much more difficult to respond in the moment, it's hard to think clearly and come up with creative and practical solutions and be able to respond appropriately in the moment, and are more likely to make a mistake in a negative fear/anxiety state.
That's the paradox, though. By being positive without fear, puts you in a far far greater position to perform well in the moment and respond to any circumstance in a dynamic and responsible way should anything unexpected arise.
There really isn't any benefit to worrying beyond using it as an indicator that there's an unhealthy memory, belief, or definition that one is holding onto and using is as an opportunity to identify it, realise it makes no sense to hold on to and then allow oneself to let it go.
But it's understandable why a lot of us are scared to not fear the worse because we believe it somehow puts us an advantage even though objectively it doesn't.
I've been watching "School of Life" videos for awhile now, and I've come to really like them. I particularly dislike being lied to, or given a rosy picture in place of badly needed answers. School of Life does give me good to very good answers nearly every time. I really appreciate you guys.
All we truly have is right NOW! Yesterday is OVER and tomorrow may not come. Be in the moment and allow yourself to feel GOOD🙂💖
Such brilliant minds we have.. yet so fragile
Notinterested Atall right.
Jesus yes
We make them fragile. Fragility is a learned behavior/thing. They're really not that fragile lol...............
🌼 _"we can rebuild our lives in a new way elsewhere"_ 🌼
Yaas! 🤗
When we go "elsewhere", we take our-self there also. All the attitudes and attributes we have (causing worries) come along with us as well.
good point. I think we need to make the distinction of trying not to running away from our issues but of trying to develop and grow a new way of thinking and carrying on in that New place elsewhere.
Right
No matter where you go you will always experience worry instead of changing location rewire your mind to get used to stress and be tolerant of it
"The catastrophe that we fear will happen, has already happened... Mourning for our past self" the next step is to learn the things that we didn't learn from our parents and other adults which other people already learned.... this is awesome. Thanks
i was literally panicking about my thesis and this actually helped me calm down abit
Tea Wai good luck!
I heard a good term, recently, which sums up my existence. “Analysis paralysis”. It helped me to realize that worry, and anxiety, are an exhausting, but fruitless, way to live. However, my lines are blurred between worry and anxiety.
Yup
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
This video has impeccable timing. My mother was just complaining to me about a lot of irrational fear. It's night time and she is working herself up instead of winding down.
Ashwin My heart goes out to your mom.
G S Thank you
Many seniors encounter this. For myself, it's retrospective regrets & an existential fear of death.
suzanne adamson Ouch. I fear that as a teen so I can only imagine how it could build up over years. There’s no choice but to handle those mental fears and regrets though, regardless of how much it’s built up
Came across this video cause I can't sleep from worrying ohhhh the irony....
Hope you are doing better now!
you have grown up ,you can have the power to have limitless way to go.
@@郎爱君 As a matter, this isn't true. People only have as much ability to grow as they let themselves have. The power is all in the mind. But because of jealousy some hold on to an imaginary worry because they want to feel like a hero for "overcoming their fear" where in reality a hero is made with self-honesty and integrity
I think the key that has helped me a little is control. Like say everyone really IS laughing at you. Say they hate you but are taking sadistic pleasure in keeping their hatred a secret as they smile to your face. What can YOU do about it? How is worrying about their opinion doing anything other than playing into the sick game you believe their playing? Do you believe the average person actually expends as much energy plotting against you as you do worrying that people are plotting against you? And when I ask these questions, I generally calm down. I realise that 1) I cant control other people's opinions and 2) life is too short to try.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
I worry about worrying so much.
I don't know what I love more. The animations or the messages!?
Fantastic video. I wrote down parts of it and I am hanging the sheet on the wall of my bedroom as a daily reminder. Alain is seriously one of the wisest people alive
TSoL! You are just in time, as always!!!
You have no idea how I much I needed this right now. I love you
Another saying: "What's in the way, is the way." Learning to sit with the anxiety in meditation; sit with it, let it break into ordinary consciousness and feel it in the body without denying the discomfort...that sometimes helps it to process, transform, and move for me. Sometimes.
I thought it was only me who worry all the time. This is enlightening! Thank you 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for this. I am a full-time worrier, though I've been in therapy for the past 6 years in and out, and I've improved quite a bit. In some instances I have already identified what in my childhood caused me to be insecure, but I forget that it can be applied to so much more. I really needed this, especially in this moment where I've been through some tough issues for the past two weeks and have been feeling particularly insecure and frightened. Fortunately, I have my therapy session today. Thank you!
I saw my mom dead when I was a girl, so now I have this horrid, impending fear of my partner dying tragically. I get unwanted thoughts and feelings. It feels like I'm so alone and that there's nothing I can do to help myself.. I miss being young when I didn't worry about him that way. I wish I could talk to someone
Can you talk to a counselor? Can you join a group that shares your interests e.g. dogs or sewing and v then build up some friends?
These animations are... something
Roberta Nimrod those jumbo hands have six fingers. I had to pause and count.
i love them! sometimes i even go on vimeo and check out the artists
Mukama's Love I do admire the creativity. Thinking outside the box.
They are stunning
i love the animations but the sound was a bit distracting!
I worry 24/7. Unstoppable. You can imagine how exciting that is. Well, sad. Lol. Great animation.
You should make a business out of worrying, so you could be the richest person in the entire universe, or in the entire Milky Way galaxy...........
It’s called anxiety and it sucks.
Sameè😢😢😢😢
That’s really true and it’s amazing how you posted this now! this month I grew better at understanding “ how to deal with daily worries” through therapy.
And I found out that the best thing for me is to deal with the worst things I have been through in the past and that I just never talked about.
It’s really tough because I somehow feel like going through the bad moments all over again but also having to be at peace with what happened, for example forgiving others, forgiving myself, acknowledging that not everything that happened was necessarily about me, and that I am not that big of deal to feel like everyone wanted to hurt me in the past or now..
and “moving on” is the biggest step that will allow us to be free and truly grow.
Today I searched on YT: I am under constant fear, and this is the best video that has helped me.
I totally agree with this. I have experience the understanding, now I'm adult, and now I have the tool and more power to face my problems. unlike when I was a child. so grown ups, be happy! this is a good news. that we can do better!
I worry all the time. It makes me sick. Working on it. trying my best. Thank you for this video
I suffer from emotionally unstable personality disorder. Its constant. Its the way my brain works. These videos are my lifeline. I feel so soothed by listening to this guy. Thankyou so much. Xx
I once tried to worry when I wanted to do something fun because I wanted to feel like I was a hero just for overcoming it. Now I know being a hero is learning to mourn your past but not dwelling on your past regrets
When something you worry about happens, the feelings isn't satisfactory, it's even more depressing. Begging the question "Why do we do it?"
Worry is indeed something I struggle with. I fear making mistakes that hurt the people around me, like being too slow holding people up and causing them to get mad at me.
I worry about getting hurt myself.
I worry about the food I eat causing me to fall ill.
I worry about becoming a terrible nuisance to my environment.
I worry about how my family would get depressed because I ended up killing myself.
I worry about my brain not working well enough to earn a living causing me to live in poverty and dying of starvation.
I worry about not being able to retrain my brain to become a productive member of society.
I worry about getting overwhelmed.
But I have found it helpful to watch videos and read books to increase my intelligence. I've found it helpful to talk with my support workers about my issues. I've found it helpful to talk to my councilor. I've found the medication I'm taking, help me focus my attention for longer. I've found it helpful to plan things out, and remind myself of all the things I've managed to accomplish in the day. I've found it helpful to relax in the evening and play some games.
Also doing some stretching and exercise in the morning seems to wake me up enough to have a better day.
I have yet to learn not to kick myself in the but all the time. But I guess, if life was perfect, it might not be any fun.
that's exactly how my childhood happened now I realize things that I worried actually didn't worth worrying at all
😊
I'm forever grateful to my mother for giving me the tools to deal with all the crap life has thrown. I didn't know it then, but the older I get the more I appreciate it. I'll be sharing this video with all the worriers I know and love. Hopefully they will like it as much as I do. Thanks
This is very helpful , as a NDPH fighter there’s a shift in my nature and I worry. your video helps me understand that the worst has happened already and there’s no point worrying now - I am hopeful to recover from it instead of worrying about it. Many thanks 🙏🏻
Well, this video was uploaded in the right time. I'm just turning 23 this month and I have some issues. I spend more time thinking about who I wanna be, what should I do, am I good enough, who will I marry with or will I marry someday, and so on and so forth. Basically it's all about career, relationship, and self knowledge. I've watched your videos since your subs less than a million, but look at you now, you have more than three millions! Congrats! Thanks for sharing and spreading knowledge. Thanks a lot. Thanks Alain ;)
This is one of the best explanations of my worry I’ve ever seen. Thank you for showing people we worry because it has happened before not because we exaggerate our current situation.
Just came up as notification when I was lying down worrying about stuff. I won't say it helped a lot, because I am worried that it will come back when I exit this video. But it gave me joy when I heard that there's more people like me who worry, but stay on as functional adults. Thanks, SOL.
adorably put and delightfully animated!
I need to stop worrying. I think he is sensing that.
I’m worried I will never succeed in life.
Life is not something you "succeed" in. Life is something you live.
@@danzigvssartre change your meaning of "success."
Shree Nation Better to change your “meaning of life.” That way you can’t fail.
Change your meaning of both life AND success. They’re both subjective to you
I worry too.
now I had a little less headache. and that’s a huge help. thank you
life is full of stress from health to future job to money i advice you guys to stop smoking or drinking to be free of your worries just live life in healthy way
I worry everytime, and its all because of school & my future. I know I shouldn't, but I can not take my mind faw away from this...
So glad I found this channel! Finally some sanity and well thought out paths to negotiating our overstimulated world and existence.
The idea of making peace with your messed up and frightening childhood was amazing.
And the quote was really stimulating: "The catastrophe that we fear will happen has actually already happened."
Thanks for the video ♥
Sankalp, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
This is too complicated to understand when you’re dealing with anxiety atm
It's normal to worry about the future or things beyond your control. But you can do better by focusing on what you can do, one thing at a time. Yes, you certainly can. :)
I never was a worrier until about 2 years ago after some bad events, I began to develop hypochondria. It’s been such a hard road but hopefully almost over.
I really like the weekly reminders to breathe that you provide.
All your videos are like breaths of fresh air to me.
Same to me!
So I've come to a point of rewatching some of TSoL's videos, and I have to say one of the most influential ways in which these seem to influence me immediately is I get to not feel so lonely in my now adult(ish) life. Thank you TSoL, you have already made my existence significantly easier & it's only been like 3 months since I've come across this channel
Friend, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
"Adult life doesn't have to be.. like our childhood."
It doesn’t……but it can be
reminds me of what toph said to korra when she was trying to metalbend: "That fight is over; release the fear."
Omg, I love these videos so much. And the last seconds he always talks in such a compassionate way. Thank you The School of Life !
this particular video brought tears to my eyes. thanks for everyone behind this
Between taking account of a tendency toward arrogance and a rejection of intimacy, it's taken a good bit of effort to even accept that I must have experienced humiliation and neglect in childhood. I try to overcome resenting my parents by considering them unfortunate because they must have experienced the same thing, and to the extent, moreover, of unconsciously inflicting it on people I know that they love.
There are so many worries in life. It is very important that how you are handling that particular situation and cope with that time.
You know; I hear this, and I accept and understand the logic… but translating that into healing… I’m still at a loss
Liz, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 This is such a beautiful comment. Thank you so much
Nice video. In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
This probably unrelated but I've spent the last year of my life actively trying to put myself in situations that force me to boil in my deepest fears. And I feel great!
This video brings up some great points, and it will help me to better rationalize my worries in the future. However, some of the things that I worry about, although they may stem from my childhood, are ongoing issues; learned behaviors and bad habits that have evolved from coping mechanisms from my younger days, and have managed to manifest themselves in my adult life. I'm worried about who I'm going to become, and if I can ever become my best self. I'm worried about how I tend to go on auto-pilot, and how I tend to turn to escapism when push comes to shove, especially when in my mind I KNOW that I'm wasting my time, and I KNOW that I could be spending my time constructively instead of caving into temptation and using distractions to temporarily ease the stress upcoming deadlines while simultaneously digging myself into a deeper hole. I'm worried that I'll never break this cycle. I'm worried that I'll be stuck with the flaws that I was born with, and I will never be able to grow past them.
I'm trying to improve, I really am, but every video I find is about coming to accept yourself. Every piece of advice that I receive just encourages me to accept my flaws as an unchangeable part of who I am. What if I want to change? What if I don't necessarily like who I am? Or at the very least, what if I don't like a certain aspect of who I am? I find myself having to corner myself into getting things done. I have to squeeze motivation out of myself by trapping myself into situations that force me to work, that force me to meet deadlines, that force me to improve. What do I do when worrying is the only incentive I have?
The School of Life, I'd really appreciate it if you could address this issue in a video. I feel like I'm not alone in this struggle. I'd just like some guidance. I'm optimistic. I truly believe that, one day, I'll be able to work everything out. It's just pretty discouraging when the small, day-to-day tasks that pave the way to self improvement feel so insurmountable at times.... but I'll make it. I know I can.
[This will probably get lost in the ocean of text that is the comments section, but it felt good to vent. If anybody is actually reading this, and you've managed to sift through all of my ramblings, just know that you're on the path to improvement. I mean, you wouldn't be watching these videos if you weren't trying, right? We'll make it, one step at a time.]
Mr. Dood . u just expressed the exact way that I wanted to. just like u I was asking for answers everywhere but we are adults we have the responsibility to push ourselves to work, yeah a bit of advice is needed though,. I guess this guy can help u. Go check mensutra. He can really help u.
Mr. Dood you can never lose as long as you don't give up! It's what I tell myself....
Mr. Dood plus look up some sites like refusing to settle :)
Accept change if it makes you happy and please stop the all Or nothing thinking. Are you taking steps to work towards yourself? If yes then that's enough. You CAN'T BE PERFECT, let go of it. You will always have flaws, again that doesn't mean you don't improve but you can't always be perfect and not anxious and calm everyday. Work hard everyday.
Never have I related so much to a comment before. You’re spot on. If I’m not under constant stress and worry, I won’t do what is necessary.
Confidence is the Key!
Your Videos help me so much. Thank you. I had a terrible childhood with all kinds of abuse. Still today at age 78 I have to work on understanding what happened and remember that yesterday is not today.
Thank you for these videos. They really work and make a difference. I always feel calmer and more balanced after watching them.
I've already been so fucked up by life that I only worry about one thing.
When the day comes when I'm at the end of my strength... I hope it won't hurt.
I think, all of us down deep worry about that same thing…..the sting of death, will it hurt
@@Todd-w6u
It all depends on the person. If you live your life to the fullest, realize your plans, were born healthy and in a wealthy family... then you probably don't think about such "unpleasant" situations that may be lurking around the corner.
However, it is worse when a person lives in a world that is filled with pain, suffering and futility. When, for example, you have a painful, fatal chronic disease (incurable), which slowly but systematically exposes you to subsequent stages of physical torment.
Then you look at the "painless and quick end" differently. Then it is not in the category of "everyone dreams about it deep down" but rather a wish from Aladdin's lamp.
This one really hits home. My seemingly endless pattern of recurring thoughts with grief as the central theme can only end once these voices have been heard. I'm not sure why that hasn't been allowed, so far.
Fockin' mind. Blown. To pieces. This video is what I needed to get over my current road block. Thank you @The School of Life.
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."
-Mark Twain
I get chills every time a video of TSoL ends. Thanks for doing what you do
Worry and uncertainty seem to come hand in hand. Some things in our past makes us react in certain ways but we can also make the conscious effort to change, and so the worry and uncertainty don’t depend on external factors but internal movements
In the night, your videos help me sometimes to calm down.
I wanted to just give The School Of Life major props, I love philosophy and analysis yet do not find enough view points or perspectives. I am convinced that our culture does not value the concepts nor the wisdom brought with them simply because it is uncomfortable to admit fault in a society that aims to condemn anyone with faults(which is everyone) for being “weak”. I’ve followed your videos for awhile, and still find ways to elaborate and build on my own thoughts and perceptions thanks to your considerate interpretations. UA-cam needs more channels like this, and I greatly appreciate you guys making these videos
Thanks but I’m more worried about real things that I can’t avoid like my future self’s future children, increasing house prices and where to live when I get to that point
5:03 this is fine
I think this is seriously one of the best, if not the best, video you made. Thank you so much for your work!!!
This video resonates with me a lot because this is exactly the state I'm usually in, at least nowadays anyway. Worrying thoughts come to me compulsively and it's hard to get rid of them or be able to process them adequately. But I can't just let my life pass by being too scared and insecure to enjoy the present. I've decided to get me a (another) therapist to hopefully help me tackle this.
I found this to be to simplistic and unhelpful. My worries as an adult have very little to do with my childhood.
This video pulled some unknown strings of anxiety in me and I feel restless now..like I am seeking some answers without the right questions
Perhaps its the suggestion that childhood trauma is to blame? It can be very scary to go digging in the past if one has some unresolved stuff there. I don't assume to know your situation, just a suggestion. Best of luck to you.
I needed this, Thank you!😊
This is amazing!!!
The School of Life does exactly what philosophers are supposed to do. And usually don't. Love what you're doing, keep it up!
Applying philosophy to real life and trying to reach and help the public with the acquired wisdom.
@@steveolotu52 philosophy isn't practical and never was supposed to be
I need this because I need to stop worrying I worry so much😔
This is exactly what i needed to hear right now.. thank you guys so much
This guys narration makes me more anxious…
But how do you NOT worry about the things that we can't control?
there is nothing you can do about i, so chill and live in the moment
The School Of Life crews are among the pioneers of today's Philosophy in LIFE
This video is exactly what I wanted to hear on so many different levels. Thank you so much. I'm grateful.
thank you, every day.
I have been worrying nearly all my life
I watch these videos, but i can't change myself for the better
The truth in this life in the world is that no one knows what they are doing, everyone is just winging it. Sad but true. We have all evolved and continue to evolve from a traumatised society and individuals globally, from the beginning of life on the planet.