Why We Worry All the Time and How to Cope
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 бер 2018
- Many of us have had such difficult starts in life, we are unable to find the serenity and security we need to approach every new day with a reasonable degree of confidence. A short film to boost our sense that things can and will be OK.
FURTHER READING
“It’s not an illustrious category to belong to of course, but there are plenty of us at least. We worry about work, money, being left, illness, disappointing, over-promising, madness and disgrace, just to start the list. We worry in the early hours, we worry on holiday, we worry at parties and we worry all the time while we’re trying to smile and seem normal to good people who depend on us. It can feel pretty unbearable, at moments.…”
You can read more on this and other subjects here: goo.gl/z3uXBc
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Natalia Ramos
Direction & Illustration- Natalia Ramos
www.nataliarama.com
Animation- Jesus Daniel G.
www.dan-mograph.com
Animation- Alexa Ledesma
www.behance.net/alexaledesma #TheSchoolOfLife
Thank you for watching, remember to subscribe and turn on notifications and UA-cam will notify you when we next upload. Is worry something you struggle with too? What have you found most helpful? Let us know in the comments below.
I worry all the time, but I'm also an optimist. I like the expression Hope for the best; plan for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I approach life. I worry less if I'm prepared for things to go wrong, so I prepare.
Buddy3439 - Thanks!
I love your beautiful voice!
You strive to make therapy accessible to everyone, yet a 50min session is charged £100. I hope it will be truly accessible in the future. (Perhaps a subscription system, without an aggressive lock in?)
I think worry is the sense that gets us up to keep moving, that is, if you have the right conditioning.
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality
Can't relate. The most horrid things have happened to me throughout my childhood and followed me into adulthood. I had to actively teach myself to build up a world of magic and read constantly to keep my mind elsewhere than reality.
Sometimes I worry, but things don't always go the way I think they will. Thanks for the video, TSoL!
reality is imagination
Seneca...nice
why though? Because our reality isn't conditioned for us but for struggle and conflict thus implying we are already programmed for such processes.life does not have to be this way guys we are the masters of our reality through our individuality and as a whole not the rich not cops not the govt. not the beurocracy but all of us thats why people worry because life isnt well enough so there mind searches a solution or a distant to our reality which lead to that assumption because if people are struggling its both mind and body
This reminded me of Mark Twain's quote "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." So very well put.
Thanks for the quote, but it was not Mark Twain.
quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/04/never-happened/
That doesn't make sense
@@glendolynminxalyn It means most of his troubles happen in his mind rather than reality.
That reminded me of the time I didn’t ask
@@alfiecarmichael1422 Ratio + Dont care + This you 🤓
When you worry, you suffer twice.
Or a thousand times!
Woah
And anxiety worsens the pain
I don't get it...
"My life has been full of terrible misfortunes. Most of which never occurred." - Montaigne
True with me.
So childhood is primary at all time. That's why I think some people should be licensed to have kids.
Mathias Laurence exactly
The worlds full of stupid people who don’t understand that having and raising children is the hardest and most important thing a couple can do.
On point.
If you want to drive, you must study in a driving school. Why isn't the same when you want to have kids?
If literally anyone can take care of a child, no wonder that there are so many broken people out there.
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men".
Agreed
“Ghosts don't haunt people--their memories do.”
― Alexandra Bracken, Never Fade
Is anyone else *scared* to be optimistic/not fear the worst?
Yes I do fear not assuming the worst because it makes me feel like I’m not prepared for the worst
Absolutely
Yes. Paradoxically though, by fearing the worse and not being optimistic, one puts oneself at a tremendous disadvantage. You miss opportunities by being worried, you're distracted, it's much more difficult to respond in the moment, it's hard to think clearly and come up with creative and practical solutions and be able to respond appropriately in the moment, and are more likely to make a mistake in a negative fear/anxiety state.
That's the paradox, though. By being positive without fear, puts you in a far far greater position to perform well in the moment and respond to any circumstance in a dynamic and responsible way should anything unexpected arise.
There really isn't any benefit to worrying beyond using it as an indicator that there's an unhealthy memory, belief, or definition that one is holding onto and using is as an opportunity to identify it, realise it makes no sense to hold on to and then allow oneself to let it go.
But it's understandable why a lot of us are scared to not fear the worse because we believe it somehow puts us an advantage even though objectively it doesn't.
I am extremely insecure. I have fear in starting anything. The good thing is, as bad as it might seem, I take action towards improving myself every day. Making note of the little good things we do and the little advances we make is more important than dwelling on the bad things.
nice👏
One step after another - as you say! Wishing you good luck and don't have to high of expectations on you.
@lemondayne "making note of the little good things we do" -- You're so right! They say we should "mark milestones" and all of that, but I say, forget milestones; celebrate centimeters! _Every_ move you make in the right direction!
I think it's true to make note of something good we've done. The most important thing is to be graceful what good deeds we've done and evaluate the mistake
Yes I find that keeping a diary of exercise and meditation really helps me maintain these healthy habits.
I waste so much of my life worrying. Thanks for the content.
👍
Anything learned, to survive can be unlearned, to Thrive !
🌼 _"we can rebuild our lives in a new way elsewhere"_ 🌼
Yaas! 🤗
When we go "elsewhere", we take our-self there also. All the attitudes and attributes we have (causing worries) come along with us as well.
good point. I think we need to make the distinction of trying not to running away from our issues but of trying to develop and grow a new way of thinking and carrying on in that New place elsewhere.
Right
No matter where you go you will always experience worry instead of changing location rewire your mind to get used to stress and be tolerant of it
Came across this video cause I can't sleep from worrying ohhhh the irony....
Hope you are doing better now!
you have grown up ,you can have the power to have limitless way to go.
@@user-wx8fp2en1o As a matter, this isn't true. People only have as much ability to grow as they let themselves have. The power is all in the mind. But because of jealousy some hold on to an imaginary worry because they want to feel like a hero for "overcoming their fear" where in reality a hero is made with self-honesty and integrity
These animations are... something
Roberta Nimrod those jumbo hands have six fingers. I had to pause and count.
i love them! sometimes i even go on vimeo and check out the artists
Mukama's Love I do admire the creativity. Thinking outside the box.
They are stunning
i love the animations but the sound was a bit distracting!
Such brilliant minds we have.. yet so fragile
Notinterested Atall right.
Jesus yes
We make them fragile. Fragility is a learned behavior/thing. They're really not that fragile lol...............
I worry about worrying so much.
I heard a good term, recently, which sums up my existence. “Analysis paralysis”. It helped me to realize that worry, and anxiety, are an exhausting, but fruitless, way to live. However, my lines are blurred between worry and anxiety.
Yup
Yes like what's the difference?
i was literally panicking about my thesis and this actually helped me calm down abit
Tea Wai good luck!
This video has impeccable timing. My mother was just complaining to me about a lot of irrational fear. It's night time and she is working herself up instead of winding down.
Ashwin My heart goes out to your mom.
G S Thank you
Many seniors encounter this. For myself, it's retrospective regrets & an existential fear of death.
suzanne adamson Ouch. I fear that as a teen so I can only imagine how it could build up over years. There’s no choice but to handle those mental fears and regrets though, regardless of how much it’s built up
I brought this video up with my therapist yesterday and it was such a fruitful session. Once I realized that some of my deep-seared worries have childhood antecedents, it became clearer that some of the things I fear are all in my head. Powerful material
TSoL! You are just in time, as always!!!
That’s really true and it’s amazing how you posted this now! this month I grew better at understanding “ how to deal with daily worries” through therapy.
And I found out that the best thing for me is to deal with the worst things I have been through in the past and that I just never talked about.
It’s really tough because I somehow feel like going through the bad moments all over again but also having to be at peace with what happened, for example forgiving others, forgiving myself, acknowledging that not everything that happened was necessarily about me, and that I am not that big of deal to feel like everyone wanted to hurt me in the past or now..
and “moving on” is the biggest step that will allow us to be free and truly grow.
I thought it was only me who worry all the time. This is enlightening! Thank you 💜💜💜
"The catastrophe that we fear will happen, has already happened... Mourning for our past self" the next step is to learn the things that we didn't learn from our parents and other adults which other people already learned.... this is awesome. Thanks
Fantastic video. I wrote down parts of it and I am hanging the sheet on the wall of my bedroom as a daily reminder. Alain is seriously one of the wisest people alive
Thank you so much for this. I am a full-time worrier, though I've been in therapy for the past 6 years in and out, and I've improved quite a bit. In some instances I have already identified what in my childhood caused me to be insecure, but I forget that it can be applied to so much more. I really needed this, especially in this moment where I've been through some tough issues for the past two weeks and have been feeling particularly insecure and frightened. Fortunately, I have my therapy session today. Thank you!
I'm forever grateful to my mother for giving me the tools to deal with all the crap life has thrown. I didn't know it then, but the older I get the more I appreciate it. I'll be sharing this video with all the worriers I know and love. Hopefully they will like it as much as I do. Thanks
This is very helpful , as a NDPH fighter there’s a shift in my nature and I worry. your video helps me understand that the worst has happened already and there’s no point worrying now - I am hopeful to recover from it instead of worrying about it. Many thanks 🙏🏻
I suffer from emotionally unstable personality disorder. Its constant. Its the way my brain works. These videos are my lifeline. I feel so soothed by listening to this guy. Thankyou so much. Xx
I've been watching "School of Life" videos for awhile now, and I've come to really like them. I particularly dislike being lied to, or given a rosy picture in place of badly needed answers. School of Life does give me good to very good answers nearly every time. I really appreciate you guys.
Just came up as notification when I was lying down worrying about stuff. I won't say it helped a lot, because I am worried that it will come back when I exit this video. But it gave me joy when I heard that there's more people like me who worry, but stay on as functional adults. Thanks, SOL.
I don't know what I love more. The animations or the messages!?
All we truly have is right NOW! Yesterday is OVER and tomorrow may not come. Be in the moment and allow yourself to feel GOOD🙂💖
I’m worried I will never succeed in life.
Life is not something you "succeed" in. Life is something you live.
@@danzigvssartre change your meaning of "success."
Shree Nation Better to change your “meaning of life.” That way you can’t fail.
Change your meaning of both life AND success. They’re both subjective to you
I worry too.
Omg, I love these videos so much. And the last seconds he always talks in such a compassionate way. Thank you The School of Life !
I totally agree with this. I have experience the understanding, now I'm adult, and now I have the tool and more power to face my problems. unlike when I was a child. so grown ups, be happy! this is a good news. that we can do better!
So glad I found this channel! Finally some sanity and well thought out paths to negotiating our overstimulated world and existence.
Another saying: "What's in the way, is the way." Learning to sit with the anxiety in meditation; sit with it, let it break into ordinary consciousness and feel it in the body without denying the discomfort...that sometimes helps it to process, transform, and move for me. Sometimes.
So I've come to a point of rewatching some of TSoL's videos, and I have to say one of the most influential ways in which these seem to influence me immediately is I get to not feel so lonely in my now adult(ish) life. Thank you TSoL, you have already made my existence significantly easier & it's only been like 3 months since I've come across this channel
Friend, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
I wanted to just give The School Of Life major props, I love philosophy and analysis yet do not find enough view points or perspectives. I am convinced that our culture does not value the concepts nor the wisdom brought with them simply because it is uncomfortable to admit fault in a society that aims to condemn anyone with faults(which is everyone) for being “weak”. I’ve followed your videos for awhile, and still find ways to elaborate and build on my own thoughts and perceptions thanks to your considerate interpretations. UA-cam needs more channels like this, and I greatly appreciate you guys making these videos
I worry 24/7. Unstoppable. You can imagine how exciting that is. Well, sad. Lol. Great animation.
You should make a business out of worrying, so you could be the richest person in the entire universe, or in the entire Milky Way galaxy...........
It’s called anxiety and it sucks.
Sameè😢😢😢😢
This one really hits home. My seemingly endless pattern of recurring thoughts with grief as the central theme can only end once these voices have been heard. I'm not sure why that hasn't been allowed, so far.
I get chills every time a video of TSoL ends. Thanks for doing what you do
This probably unrelated but I've spent the last year of my life actively trying to put myself in situations that force me to boil in my deepest fears. And I feel great!
"Adult life doesn't have to be.. like our childhood."
You have no idea how I much I needed this right now. I love you
this particular video brought tears to my eyes. thanks for everyone behind this
I really like the weekly reminders to breathe that you provide.
All your videos are like breaths of fresh air to me.
Same to me!
Fockin' mind. Blown. To pieces. This video is what I needed to get over my current road block. Thank you @The School of Life.
Well, this video was uploaded in the right time. I'm just turning 23 this month and I have some issues. I spend more time thinking about who I wanna be, what should I do, am I good enough, who will I marry with or will I marry someday, and so on and so forth. Basically it's all about career, relationship, and self knowledge. I've watched your videos since your subs less than a million, but look at you now, you have more than three millions! Congrats! Thanks for sharing and spreading knowledge. Thanks a lot. Thanks Alain ;)
I worry everytime, and its all because of school & my future. I know I shouldn't, but I can not take my mind faw away from this...
The School Of Life has perfect timing everytime.
adorably put and delightfully animated!
This video is exactly what I wanted to hear on so many different levels. Thank you so much. I'm grateful.
Thank you for these videos. They really work and make a difference. I always feel calmer and more balanced after watching them.
There are so many worries in life. It is very important that how you are handling that particular situation and cope with that time.
I once tried to worry when I wanted to do something fun because I wanted to feel like I was a hero just for overcoming it. Now I know being a hero is learning to mourn your past but not dwelling on your past regrets
Thank you, even though I commented negatively on one of past videos, this one left me with sense of hope and I really can see effort and wisdom put in.
oh you hit the spot today, just what I needed, thank you for making today just that little bit more optimistic.
This is exactly what i needed to hear right now.. thank you guys so much
Your Videos help me so much. Thank you. I had a terrible childhood with all kinds of abuse. Still today at age 78 I have to work on understanding what happened and remember that yesterday is not today.
This video resonates with me a lot because this is exactly the state I'm usually in, at least nowadays anyway. Worrying thoughts come to me compulsively and it's hard to get rid of them or be able to process them adequately. But I can't just let my life pass by being too scared and insecure to enjoy the present. I've decided to get me a (another) therapist to hopefully help me tackle this.
I never was a worrier until about 2 years ago after some bad events, I began to develop hypochondria. It’s been such a hard road but hopefully almost over.
"What, me worry?" That phrase liberated me when I was pre teen.
I think this is seriously one of the best, if not the best, video you made. Thank you so much for your work!!!
finally!! A great Way in analyzing why I worry so damn much! Thank you
Worry is indeed something I struggle with. I fear making mistakes that hurt the people around me, like being too slow holding people up and causing them to get mad at me.
I worry about getting hurt myself.
I worry about the food I eat causing me to fall ill.
I worry about becoming a terrible nuisance to my environment.
I worry about how my family would get depressed because I ended up killing myself.
I worry about my brain not working well enough to earn a living causing me to live in poverty and dying of starvation.
I worry about not being able to retrain my brain to become a productive member of society.
I worry about getting overwhelmed.
But I have found it helpful to watch videos and read books to increase my intelligence. I've found it helpful to talk with my support workers about my issues. I've found it helpful to talk to my councilor. I've found the medication I'm taking, help me focus my attention for longer. I've found it helpful to plan things out, and remind myself of all the things I've managed to accomplish in the day. I've found it helpful to relax in the evening and play some games.
Also doing some stretching and exercise in the morning seems to wake me up enough to have a better day.
I have yet to learn not to kick myself in the but all the time. But I guess, if life was perfect, it might not be any fun.
The idea of making peace with your messed up and frightening childhood was amazing.
And the quote was really stimulating: "The catastrophe that we fear will happen has actually already happened."
Thanks for the video ♥
Sankalp, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Be careful what you feed your mind. Feed trash and trash will come out. Avoid comparing yourself with others, avoid storing bottled up emotions, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils and within the nostrils for 10-15 minutes or more. You can sit on a chair or lay down anywhere, be as still as possible, eyes closed but no deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. Make it a lifetime habit to observe your breath before sleep, when travelling, when reading, at the workplace etc, if needed with eyes open. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Really excellent timing you guys. I've been really worked up for the last few days and this video helped me to breathe again.
I saw my mom dead when I was a girl, so now I have this horrid, impending fear of my partner dying tragically. I get unwanted thoughts and feelings. It feels like I'm so alone and that there's nothing I can do to help myself.. I miss being young when I didn't worry about him that way. I wish I could talk to someone
Can you talk to a counselor? Can you join a group that shares your interests e.g. dogs or sewing and v then build up some friends?
Thanks, I used to worry all the time, lately I have been worrying less
Confidence is the Key!
This was the perfect video at the perfect time, thanks.
Great Video:) I fall into that category but I don't feel like it has anything to do with my family situation, but instead has everything to do with my school environment.
Sure I was always shy and introverted, but what I have gone through in my latter school days on the hands of puberty and teenage society has left me with many, many unreasonable worries and a big inferiority complex. I have been able to improve my school life and get out of the position of the bullied three years before school ended, but what followed afterwards was no less distressing. And I feel like most of what I have gone through was because I was unable and to a large part uninterested to interact normally with a group. I think it would improve so much if we would really teach healthy interactions with society and ones own emotions to some extend as well as explain to them what they will have to face on the road to becoming an adult instead of just locking them all up together in a semi controlled and semi proven environment and hope for the best outcome.
I see of course that such a programm would be difficult do design and implement but I think it would be possible. I also don't think gambling that the parents of a child will be able to adequatly educate them on social stuff is just to risky and leads to many undesired situations, but I already notice that one would have to do an entire restructurisation of society to give what I wish for so I will stop now. Even though a complete restructurisation of society from scratch might be very beneficial, but that won't happen until humanity will be reduced to a shadow of itself in the face of some manmade disaster.
I find this to be absolutely true. It helps enormously to equip oneself with knowledge to face our unique challenges.
This was just what I needed in my life right now. Thank you.
Such a powerful video! Worry is everywhere and its something i am going to look at soon on my psychology youtube channel actually. Our perceptiuon of the future, of what might be, of what might come is in large, the catalyst of that worry (at least that is how i perceive it). I feel you highlight this at points in this video. Thank you so much!
I find eloquent narration, in combination with a jazz soundtrack, works wonders for my anxiety.
I really thought I was the only one who felt like this as I saw others with bliss
the graphics were so refreshingly satisfying.
In the night, your videos help me sometimes to calm down.
Much needed video at this point. Can't thank you guys enough!
This vid healing my soul, thanks for making this.
Loving your work everyday, its funny to think that a nice video and a smoothing voice, going in a public bus, can help every time
I watch these videos, but i can't change myself for the better
great timing! I need this so much and it is a great help. Thanks a bunch!
One of the best channel on YT
Wow I needed to hear this! I never thought about it this way, thank you!
That focused ssssssssssshh sound most of the time makes me concentrate. Thank you.
One of the most empowering videos I've ever seen.
This was, again, pure brilliance! Thank you Alain de Botton
This is one of the best explanations of my worry I’ve ever seen. Thank you for showing people we worry because it has happened before not because we exaggerate our current situation.
This filled my mind with interesting thoughts I shall ponder for the rest of my evening, thank you!
This channel has been helping a lot.
I love this channel so much
reminds me of what toph said to korra when she was trying to metalbend: "That fight is over; release the fear."
This was one of the best videos you've made. Well done! Put my mind at rest at little :)
Worry and uncertainty seem to come hand in hand. Some things in our past makes us react in certain ways but we can also make the conscious effort to change, and so the worry and uncertainty don’t depend on external factors but internal movements
This so gave me a new perspective on giving more attention to fears
This video pulled some unknown strings of anxiety in me and I feel restless now..like I am seeking some answers without the right questions
Perhaps its the suggestion that childhood trauma is to blame? It can be very scary to go digging in the past if one has some unresolved stuff there. I don't assume to know your situation, just a suggestion. Best of luck to you.
Love the topic but had to stop midway just to say, that animation in this particular video is just perfect.