How to Get Out of a Despairing Mood

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2020
  • In moments of despair, we may be suffering not from a failure of spirit, but a failure of imagination. The way out lies in exercising our creative capacities.
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    FURTHER READING
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/2IvSflV
    “It may sound strange to locate the problem here, but some of our most despairing moods are caused by failures of the imagination. We are not merely ‘sad’; we cannot picture any better life than the agonised one we currently have. What we really mean by imagination is the power to summon up alternatives. When we are sad, we can’t imagine finding another job; we can’t imagine retraining or shifting profession. We can’t imagine not minding what the gossip says about us. We can’t imagine finding another partner and letting ourselves trust someone again. We can’t imagine getting by in a wheelchair. We can’t imagine living on a very modest budget or relocating to another country. We can’t imagine having to make a completely new set of friends…”
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    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Gabriella Marsh
    gabriellamarsh.com/
    Title animation produced in collaboration with
    Vale Productions
    www.valeproductions.co.uk/

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  3 роки тому +128

    How do you cope with despair? Let us know in the comments below and if you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: ua-cam.com/channels/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog.htmljoin

    • @kopihitam7256
      @kopihitam7256 3 роки тому +1

      Give the Indonesian subtitle please

    • @VulcanGray
      @VulcanGray 3 роки тому +2

      Title typo?

    • @realitycheck4746
      @realitycheck4746 3 роки тому +4

      We all live with despair, some are just more conscious about it than other people. Personally, I stopped pretending to be happy. I cope by always preparing for the worst outcome. Despair is inevitable.

    • @amandawilcox9638
      @amandawilcox9638 3 роки тому +1

      The school of life- Oh, my. I just had my second huge morning laugh. No copy editor? The vid title? "Desparing"? Too silly. But thank you, thank you!🙌🙌😖😀

    • @etherean369
      @etherean369 3 роки тому +2

      Just wanna say I love this channel

  • @VerenaSatriani
    @VerenaSatriani 3 роки тому +2038

    You are not your mood, you are not your feeling.. let them come and let them go. You are precious being.

    • @aldenrobelldeloyola1502
      @aldenrobelldeloyola1502 3 роки тому +29

      Thank you for this comment.

    • @m.meursault5205
      @m.meursault5205 3 роки тому +25

      Very wise - why treat moods differently than thoughts during meditation? Allow them to come, become aware from them, learn why you feel this way, and let it pass. Work on the root to avoid it happening in this intensity again. Grow.

    • @realbenmagp7
      @realbenmagp7 3 роки тому

      thanks

    • @toniok.4726
      @toniok.4726 3 роки тому

      wow

    • @wcm4346
      @wcm4346 3 роки тому +1

      Garbage virtue signaling comment.

  • @stories-of-elle
    @stories-of-elle 3 роки тому +1792

    This vid was literally made for me right at this moment

  • @crys313
    @crys313 3 роки тому +321

    The one thing missing from this great work is that despair is often coupled with fatigue. When you are constantly having to adapt, you can literally feel worn down by life.

    • @Liz-in8lu
      @Liz-in8lu 8 місяців тому +10

      Holy cow! Amazing. Fatigue. I feel so drained by accommodating everyone else, because that’s how the world is now.

    • @aleledesma4088
      @aleledesma4088 6 місяців тому +5

      That's exactly what I have been feeling!!

    • @KarAashika
      @KarAashika 3 місяці тому +4

      And sometimes that leads you to not having funds and you have to make realistic decisions, you can't just dream everything is possible

  • @kkaatiee
    @kkaatiee 3 роки тому +390

    Gotta love School of Life “you could even go mad for a little while if you like”

    • @thebeesknees2762
      @thebeesknees2762 3 роки тому +15

      Yes! I thought “hey, that’s me” haha or at least it has been a couple of times

    • @beckyholston
      @beckyholston 3 роки тому +19

      I'm currently going mad, and that comment made me feel so much better about this. I'm not alone.

    • @LLGC510
      @LLGC510 3 роки тому +14

      “a lot of people do” 😳😩😭🤣

    • @janjansen7983
      @janjansen7983 2 роки тому

      Afraid of going mad drives me crazy and makes it even worse. Man this sucks.

    • @sanatansahabuddin4942
      @sanatansahabuddin4942 2 роки тому

      @@LLGC510 felt sooo relieved hearing that

  • @SiphoSy
    @SiphoSy 3 роки тому +481

    I was literally going through a stagnant state in life and this gave me the assurance of abundance. That there's a universe of potential and opportunity that I can still explore.

    • @akshar_dave
      @akshar_dave 3 роки тому +4

      🍀

    • @iv1908
      @iv1908 3 роки тому +2

      Same. 😊

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 роки тому +1

      wait it out.. it will go away.. it the what is the problem that causing it on first plac.e. sometine it don't go awwy.. only way is to get out of the problem..

    • @AnnabellaRedwood
      @AnnabellaRedwood 3 роки тому

      Just wanted to send love and hugs your way xx 💜🧡💙

  • @yamaken4256
    @yamaken4256 3 роки тому +172

    Reading the comments made me realize that im not alone in feeling this way

  • @WisdomWealth77
    @WisdomWealth77 3 роки тому +550

    Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place. 💞

    • @keaton-immanuelbrown1469
      @keaton-immanuelbrown1469 3 роки тому +3

      🙏🏻

    • @DiegoPereyra
      @DiegoPereyra 3 роки тому +11

      That really touched something...
      Trying to figure things out from that perspective now,
      its a nice view from there,
      there's air over there and is possible to breath.
      Thanks Immanuel...
      Smile...!

    • @LemonRush7777
      @LemonRush7777 3 роки тому +6

      That's great! Not really true, but at least it sounds good.

    • @consoleem5043
      @consoleem5043 3 роки тому +4

      💞
      Correction - they are always falling into place🤗

    • @consoleem5043
      @consoleem5043 3 роки тому +8

      @Dylan Rogers through the life I've lived I've faced many things falling apart, and I've also fallen apart, many times.. as I kept looking for answers, what I found is that all roads leads back to me, my inner being, my connection to this world and everything in it...The atrocities I witnessed were consequences of lack of understanding yet it is what led me to find truth...So could my path been rosier - yes, could it have been easier- yes, but that's not the life I was given, it's not the way my life unfolded, and here I am stronger and happier than ever so at the end of the day does it matter how much things fall apart when they can lead us to a way forward? Sometimes things can't move forward without something falling apart.

  • @enkhnyambattulga9351
    @enkhnyambattulga9351 3 роки тому +252

    I live in Mongolia and I'm now 17. This channel has been like a good brother that I always needed in difficult and uncertain times. Your advices have really helped me be more confident. I started volunteering, my relationship with my family got better, started learning a new language, learned to code, picked up a sport, and my grades were never better. You have taught me to always keep on trying without taking my little life too seriously. I try to enjoy things. I plan on studying in Europe. And I hope to one day meet you in person and just thank you. Just letting you know that your outreach is global even in our small country. :)

    • @TheRoadtoFinalLight
      @TheRoadtoFinalLight 2 роки тому +7

      Indeed. This Channel is worth 1K in therapy.

    • @taestan6864
      @taestan6864 Рік тому +3

      This is so sweet ❤️

    • @feedsquirrels
      @feedsquirrels Рік тому +4

      Hi Enochnayam,I just read your post now I know it’s from a few years ago but I just want to say it sounds like you have your life headed in the right direction. Best of luck to you!

    • @nafania11
      @nafania11 9 місяців тому +2

      You're having a great start having improved your life already at 17! kudos!

    • @anushkumar9848
      @anushkumar9848 4 місяці тому

      I relate to you so well this channel is the only good thing I ve came across to

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 3 роки тому +441

    As Heisenberg once noticed: "the process of observing influences the system". When we truly start _observing_ what our bad moods consist of, we weaken them. That's one of the basic mechanisms behind meditation!

    • @koffz-nl2118
      @koffz-nl2118 3 роки тому +12

      This is one of the things( the main thing actually) I've learned from using the Headspace app. A great concept, but remembering to apply it constantly in your daily life is quite a challenge(as have other things I've learned from the app). Wish it wasn't, because the periods where I did look at my moods and emotions from a distance and studied them, I began flourishing pretty fast.
      Do you have the same problem?

    • @tyan_ldn
      @tyan_ldn 3 роки тому +29

      Not gonna lie I thought of Walter White straight away

    • @bearded_riffs
      @bearded_riffs 3 роки тому

      Yes totally agree

    • @palaksharma1777
      @palaksharma1777 3 роки тому +3

      Walter White said that? /s

    • @TheDhammaHub
      @TheDhammaHub 3 роки тому +2

      @@palaksharma1777 Close enough ;D

  • @dereksilvers9177
    @dereksilvers9177 3 роки тому +464

    THE SCHOOL OF LIFE IS A LEGENDARY CHANNEL!

    • @monicology
      @monicology 3 роки тому +7

      A LEGENDARY VIDEO DURING A LEGENDARY TIME!!!!! (i needed this video lol)

    • @HappinessOrDeath
      @HappinessOrDeath 3 роки тому +1

      This channel and Alain De Boton are on a whole different level ❤️❤️

    • @vicstee482
      @vicstee482 3 роки тому

      It is. It really is. But i find i listen and think its amazing, but lack the will to put it into practice 😥

    • @sumitthakur1625
      @sumitthakur1625 3 роки тому

      Indeed

    • @igurospit
      @igurospit 3 роки тому

      I couldn’t agree more

  • @samtonks3300
    @samtonks3300 3 роки тому +241

    Strange timing, I was literally cornered into a hopeless cycle of anger about 15 minutes ago. I’m now feeling cured

    • @ayatmuhammad3466
      @ayatmuhammad3466 3 роки тому +1

      SAME!!!

    • @randomdude9135
      @randomdude9135 3 роки тому +5

      Open Twitter to become hope less again

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +4

      That's so excellent, Sam. I hope you keep on enjoying life. You may have some things to legitimately feel angry about and hopefully can find the chance to fix some of them if that is what is needed. Meanwhile there are other aspects of life and you can focus other emotions on those aspects e.g. hope, gratitude, interest, curiosity etc.

    • @Mefista69
      @Mefista69 Рік тому

      Same...

  • @5even5eals
    @5even5eals 3 роки тому +231

    The fact that I don't really have to suffer makes me feel ashamed for me suffering anyway

    • @erickaperez6703
      @erickaperez6703 3 роки тому +12

      Relatable!

    • @LadyLazarus1027
      @LadyLazarus1027 3 роки тому +22

      yes! sometimes while i'm crying I get even sadder because I feel like it's all in vain

    • @skimmilkm
      @skimmilkm 3 роки тому +24

      Despairing moods are so awful because of that reason for some of us: it tries so hard to justify its own existence so that it can continue to live, like the mood is afraid of dieing.

    • @marcrow9114
      @marcrow9114 3 роки тому +4

      @@skimmilkm damn

    • @tysonq7131
      @tysonq7131 3 роки тому +24

      These thoughts helps me snap myself out of this cycle most of the time: The world owes you nothing and you owe it nothing. Try to reduce suffering anywhere you can but do not stack your suffering against others as if you get points for it. Your peace does not come at the expense of others. (I'm assuming, unless you're like stealing things from people or something). Suffering wears you down emotionally and in turn physically, so the most selfless thing you can do is try to suffer less so you may take care of those around you when they need it. Also, grieving is a necessary biological function for your body to reset back to happiness. It sounds like you get stuck in suffering because you believe you don't deserve the right simply to be sad, and instead of pushing through to the other side and getting relief (usually crying) you get stuck in suffering telling yourself you shouldn't have gotten there in the first place.

  • @MsTuliplady
    @MsTuliplady 3 роки тому +17

    1:35 "we can even go mad for a while, and then recover... A lot of people do"
    Some of the most important words ever said. Most of the people I know, including myself... Have gone mad. Only time is able to sort that out, but it's such a valid state of mind, one easily dismissed and ridiculed, but oftentimes so insightful, and life changing. Oftentimes for the better. Just another chapter...

  • @theflip650
    @theflip650 3 роки тому +74

    Man, I just got in a big fight with my boss yesterday, lost my job and was so mad/anxious. I don’t know how y’all read my mind but this helped. ✌️

  • @TanvirAhmed24
    @TanvirAhmed24 3 роки тому +107

    Sometimes life passes us by so fast that it feels as though we are sitting in a train with our life sliding by like the scenery outside the window. With our busy schedules we tend to rush from obligation to obligation. Some days, we enter our office while it is dark in the morning, and don’t leave until it is dark outside again at night. We can start to feel like we are in a rut, and our life is being determined by others. We feel like we have no choice but to oblige the guidelines others set for us.

    • @matthewpasia3636
      @matthewpasia3636 3 роки тому +13

      Wow thanks for this. you’ve captured perfectly what I’ve been feeling at work recently. Jumping from meeting to meeting, i cant help but ask myself at the end of the day - is my time really mine?

    • @TanvirAhmed24
      @TanvirAhmed24 3 роки тому +3

      @@matthewpasia3636 Yeah, I hear you.

    • @circleofclouds
      @circleofclouds 3 роки тому +3

      Yes and we have tried so hard to even get into this place in the office, which makes this mental suffering...self-induced? Societal pressures? I wonder.

    • @wabi_sabi_love
      @wabi_sabi_love 3 роки тому +8

      People who let others to decide how their life will be are giving themselves permission to waste their life. They will regret it when they are already old or sick but it will be too late to change anything. Sadly, too many people live like that.

    • @TanvirAhmed24
      @TanvirAhmed24 3 роки тому +1

      @@wabi_sabi_love I feel the same way.

  • @PracticalInspiration
    @PracticalInspiration 3 роки тому +243

    As adults we have the freedom to choose the life we lead, but equally need to bear the responsibility of the choices that we make

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 3 роки тому +5

      @Gerd Wiesler Reality is nobody has choice, in the USA especially, you are a slave. None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who believe they are free. They've convinced slaves they are free, simply so the slaves won't revolt knowing they truly aren't. It's a major hassle to leave the USA, and become established in another country, you have the USA government to thank for this. Even renouncing your citizenship costs over $2,300 as of recent years, to deter people from doing it. If you being unable to choose the job you seek right now is your biggest concern you have little concerns. Be grateful you graduated, and have a degree, some people can't ever afford this in the USA. Some people are upset they have no shoes, until they meet someone who has no feet. I for one could never afford to finish my bachelor's degree, and only have an associate's. I am a USA citizen by being born here, and living here without choice. I don't have any of the constitutional rights you take for granted everyday, despite I am the same as you for all intensive purposes in USA. Always be grateful for what little you have, not for what you don't. Humble yourself, and especially considering the true horrors of the USA. Know that it could always be worse, no matter how precarious your current situation. The journey of 1000 miles begins with just one step. As you should stride to have no fixed plans, and not be intent on arriving anywhere. For the Journey makes the destination, and not the other way around. Keep in mind everything in existence is constantly in a state of flux, ever changing. For that is the way of the universe itself, everything changes, what was one second, can be gone in the next one.

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 3 роки тому +3

      @Gerd Wiesler You CAN choose, but you can't decide over when and how it happens. If you try long enough your chances are pretty high however. Opportunities drop in our lap all the time yet we fixate on what we don't have. You are alive, you are healthy.. you are young. That is a good combination, take the time to learn new things.
      Don't fall into nihilistic thoughts, remind yourself of what you gain from it.

    • @PHARANORMALACTIVITY
      @PHARANORMALACTIVITY 3 роки тому

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l Amazing Comment.

  • @dominiquepereira8211
    @dominiquepereira8211 3 роки тому +39

    "What would I do differently in my life?" I think I'd probably be a whole lot kinder to those who really loved me. And let go, a whole lot sooner, those who didn't. :(

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 3 роки тому

      The problem is always in recognizing who is which... Everyone has a burden, are you able to judge? Going to quote Gandalf here..
      "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."

  • @amitsao009
    @amitsao009 3 роки тому +6

    I saw the title and felt happy.. saw the video and felt despair again.

  • @thescoobymike
    @thescoobymike 3 роки тому +28

    When we're in despair we also imagine our whole lives as feeling like despair and forgetting all our times of happiness because in that moment we are trapped in that despair

  • @ash.mystic
    @ash.mystic 2 роки тому +21

    I appreciate that this video is less than 5 minutes long. It’s difficult to focus and put in effort on large tasks when feeling depressed. Thanks for this inspiration 🙏

  • @queso5367
    @queso5367 3 роки тому +65

    Hey, you with the despair -
    Noone has it all figured out. Keep trying new things. Keep getting back up. There's no time limit on success if you're still breathing. Keep on looking for ways to create the life that's right for you. May you find the life you seek & work passionately every day to deserve that joy of fulfillment.
    -Also me, to me

    • @emerywolf9568
      @emerywolf9568 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you homie 🙏

    • @emmajean2386
      @emmajean2386 3 роки тому +1

      Thanks Rachael. This made me cry.. thank you for your comment🌷😭❤️🥺

    • @queso5367
      @queso5367 3 роки тому

      @@emmajean2386 Much love to you, Emma. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, things get better. *hugs tightly*

  • @BeckyTheButterfly
    @BeckyTheButterfly 3 роки тому +20

    Mind boggling how these videos come out just at the right time.
    Literally had to have a therapy session just YESTERDAY to talk about this very thing going on. Life is currently a blank page for me, starting over once again.
    Currently sitting in bed, having a difficult time imagining the good things and places that are yet to come from me being here.

  • @meowmaple
    @meowmaple 2 роки тому +6

    I come back to this video every once in a while whenever I feel that it can't ever get better

  • @-ahmed121
    @-ahmed121 3 роки тому +20

    I am 16 years old and I cannot imagine my life without the school of life. Thank you very much. You helped me build my character more than anyone else in this small planet thank you alain de botton

  • @valeria-militiamessalina5672
    @valeria-militiamessalina5672 3 роки тому +13

    “narrow circumstances” felt a shiver down my spine hearing this

  • @peipeixi
    @peipeixi 3 роки тому +39

    Sometimes it’s the power of our imagination and sometimes it’s the reality and gravity of the situation. For people with mental health disorders, it’s not just a mood or a one-time phase. It’s a recurrent phenomenon. It’s a vicious cycle.

    • @JH-id4te
      @JH-id4te Рік тому

      I'm trying to use my power of imagination to forget my mum is dying and I'm totally alone... I just need to try harder apparently.

    • @natasha5553
      @natasha5553 Рік тому +2

      @@JH-id4te I am sorry you are going through that but remember the only way is through

    • @snowqueen24
      @snowqueen24 Рік тому

      That's true.

  • @ilag3686
    @ilag3686 3 роки тому +11

    You’ve presented two incredible writing/journaling prompts:
    •“If I lost everything and had to start up again, I might...”
    •List 20 things that make your life meaningful, then cross them all out and find 10 more
    Enormously useful to have that insight/preparation for yourself- thank you for this splendiferous channel!!

  • @ASMRHatov
    @ASMRHatov 3 роки тому +16

    "The oceans are large and beautifully unconcerned with us"

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 роки тому +49

    To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing

    • @0018lancelot
      @0018lancelot 3 роки тому +3

      Aint that the truth lol

    • @nelsonsama1
      @nelsonsama1 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah, can someone explain what this means?

    • @ZA-charity
      @ZA-charity 3 роки тому

      @@nelsonsama1 It means you can believe in hope and make your hopes come true and let go of the sadness (despair) that causes us to believe that nothing will or could ever get better or be better.

    • @mofomartianp
      @mofomartianp 2 роки тому

      hope is the hardest cope of them all.

  • @bengieofftheleash9217
    @bengieofftheleash9217 3 роки тому +10

    I’ve been off my antidepressants for over a week now (not by choice) so you have no idea how much I need this.

  • @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx
    @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx 3 роки тому +4

    I plan to listen to this video three times a day until I turn things around. Thank you!

  • @losasakarosa9050
    @losasakarosa9050 3 роки тому +5

    I’m 18 currently doing my a levels and have no idea what I’m doing with my life, everyone seems to have their shit together and I just feel absolutely inadequate that I don’t know what course to apply for, am not passionate about anything particular and I’m not particularly talented at anything. :( I love this channel because it genuinely shows me I’m not alone and really helps me dissect elements of my thought process and eliminate negative thinking.

  • @oftenwrong.
    @oftenwrong. 3 роки тому +33

    I have horrible self esteem! And hate myself.
    That’s what holds me back

    • @reubenbokea5459
      @reubenbokea5459 3 роки тому +24

      This is how I boosted my self-esteem;
      1. Started hitting the Gym.
      2. Introduced myself to reading books. At least a chapter a day for the start.
      3. Joined a book club that compromised of beginers only. We could regularly meet and do book review alongside other conversations.
      4. Routine Walks in a quiet place like a forest. Without a phone or anything that will cause distraction. Focus on nature and it's beauty. Allow your thoughts to wander without suppressing them. Listen to them. Be aware of your environment and every feeling.
      5. I always groomed myself. Neatness boost's your confidence. Buy yourself the nice staffs. Treat yourself.
      6. Every day before leaving my house, I would make sure I look myself through the mirror, Smile and appreciate that I am smart.I always fall in love with the person I saw at the mirror.I befriended him.I have never regretted.
      7.Started attending parties and events. Eventually,I realized that no one is perfect.Everyone is struggling to fix his/her broken nature.
      This worked for me.I hope it helps you

    • @zedium3280
      @zedium3280 3 роки тому +3

      @@reubenbokea5459 omg you're such a king thank you so much

    • @Summerfairy81
      @Summerfairy81 3 роки тому +3

      Beautiful Reuben

    • @lakarra3hyababa51
      @lakarra3hyababa51 3 роки тому +2

      @@reubenbokea5459 My dude💪💪

    • @reubenbokea5459
      @reubenbokea5459 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you all.Low Self-esteem is not a physical disability. It can be boosted. We can experience life in its abundance.
      Of all the judgements we pass in Life, none is more important than the verdict we pass on ourselves.
      We can grow better. We can improve. We have the ability to. Just small steps every day. That's what compounds to great strides.

  • @TrollsFormers05
    @TrollsFormers05 3 роки тому +32

    Idk, this one doesn't work for me. It's precisely my power of imagination that despairs me. To compare my imaginary life, all my potentials realized, all the possible achievements, a happy life on one hand, on the other the sheer boredom of ordinary life, the meaninglessness of my routine, that's the real source of my mood. To think of all the wasted possibilities, all that could have been, all that could be still was it not for my lack of motivation.

    • @ltotheop7512
      @ltotheop7512 2 роки тому +1

      Perhaps you could make your imagination work in your favour instead of turning it into a ruler with which to lash yourself. That in itself isn’t very imaginative. A bit boring even.

  • @rachamgh189
    @rachamgh189 3 роки тому +28

    Omg this is exactly what I needed for while

  • @Lifelearne
    @Lifelearne 3 роки тому +54

    I'm an adult and surrounded by narrow circumstances

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +6

      That could mean that you have to endure some boredom and perhaps meet only a few people. That does make life more difficult. I hope things open up for you.

    • @moneymanfernando1594
      @moneymanfernando1594 2 роки тому

      Maybe you need to make some changes. A new job , a new city or new friends.

  • @TheSassi14
    @TheSassi14 3 роки тому +11

    Honestly, this just made me more sad, because I can't travel right now and the oceans are not untouched by humans

  • @bigh012345
    @bigh012345 3 роки тому +20

    Hrm ... I am at a turning point in my life. Maybe I should take some time off and go mad for a little bit.
    Thanks Alain!

  • @Cappaluke
    @Cappaluke 3 роки тому +5

    I was feeling despair today actually pretty terribly. I somehow came across a book at my work and read the first few pages about forming and breaking habits. I read only 3 pages and it was enough to get me motivated to break at least one small habit that has been dragging me down for months. And that is continuing the cycle of keeping an ex partner in my head. She’s living in there rent free as they say! The online stalking has continued to keep associations of her in my mind. I have to break these associations and stop downplaying the effects the online creeping actually has on my mental health. Out of sight of mind. It was an enlightening 3 pages to me, it snapped me back into reality and i found it ironic that it was the only book I picked up. More than that, this video was powerfully uplifting as well. Imagination is important for moving forward. I’m extremely grateful for the positivity I have encountered on this day I felt a cloud was hanging over my head. Thank you!

  • @nicolalang5603
    @nicolalang5603 3 роки тому +19

    If I lost everything and had to start again... I might be relieved that there were no ties keeping me here and decide to end the suffering.

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 3 роки тому +2

      Except you will not be allowed to end yourself, just as you lacked the choice in coming into existence in the first place. Society removes the choice from you, but the reality of this reasoning is much more twisted. They want you alive as a slave, nothing more nothing less, the more slaves the better for the time being at least. When human slave labor becomes obsolete they will just exterminate the majority of the unneeded populace. Casting off the delusion they feed people to distort the reality of why they refuse to let you choose death. If you had no choice in being born in the first place, its disheartening. Yet the bitter truth to everything is better than the sweetest of lies every-time.

    • @ravenraven966
      @ravenraven966 3 роки тому +1

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l , yes. And we are getting very close to the extermination. Ai runs most of the world now. They don't need too many humans now. I'm counting on Jesus. I'm with you dear one. Hang in....

  • @elspethfougere9683
    @elspethfougere9683 3 роки тому +7

    So grateful for this. Life has unexpected tradgedys, which I didn't understand until I got older. If your first in line amongst your friends to have something happen, it's hard to know how to approach it. I've always been creative, and this a great kick starter to give me confidence to keep seeking until inspiration strikes luck

  • @sidharthaery1662
    @sidharthaery1662 3 роки тому +75

    Despairing is spelled differently in the title and thumbnail nail and it is puting me in despair

    • @anaysayersyes
      @anaysayersyes 3 роки тому

      Yes.

    • @lameooo21
      @lameooo21 3 роки тому +2

      I don’t know if I can handle this

    • @FriendofDorothy
      @FriendofDorothy 3 роки тому

      if you're worried about a spelling error in a video try reading some of the comments, which are spelling and grammar disasters. I thought there was an app or online tool for that, but I guess these people don't care if their comment is barely coherent or a mind-twister to try to read....

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +1

      English spelling and grammar is very strange. You may enjoy reading Kate Burridge's book "The Gift of the Gob" (NB: gob not gab) www.amazon.com.au/Gift-Gob-Morsels-English-Language-ebook/dp/B004KAB2CQ

    • @sidharthaery1662
      @sidharthaery1662 3 роки тому

      @@tracesprite6078 no

  • @lo0k3r
    @lo0k3r 3 роки тому +29

    ”Many people might be cruel, but a few are infinitely compassionate and kind. And we can go out and FIND THEM, AND NOT LET THEM GO.” 😾

    • @teethompson7756
      @teethompson7756 3 роки тому +7

      Although I agree with the statement, it makes something extremely difficult sound easy. Making friends, "real friends", is not easy, especially for introverts, and in the age of COVID-19 it is nearly impossible. 😔

    • @saratf
      @saratf 3 роки тому

      After 36 years I’ve only found 2.

    • @hederahelix4600
      @hederahelix4600 3 роки тому

      Haven't found any yet. But if I did, they would probably be taken by someone who won't let them go.

    • @lo0k3r
      @lo0k3r 3 роки тому +1

      @@hederahelix4600 May be they will FIND YOU first.
      Prepare for that!

  • @redahammada8605
    @redahammada8605 3 роки тому +6

    This video just came out in the right time during such stressful moments

  • @alinemachado3
    @alinemachado3 3 роки тому +11

    I needed to listen to this so very much that you have no idea how grateful I am right now. 🌼

  • @sunnysrivastava7575
    @sunnysrivastava7575 3 роки тому +3

    This video itself has so much positive push which we always crave from a friend.
    It fills the gap of someone who can remind you of what you can still really do.

  • @herculesrockefeller8969
    @herculesrockefeller8969 Рік тому +3

    "We could think how we might survive without any friends, without any reputation, without any love..."
    I don't have to think about it, I live it every day.

  • @m.o6801
    @m.o6801 3 роки тому +30

    This honestly came at the perfect time for me.. cause i’m not sure how long I can do 9-5 for 😭

    • @joaquinpipinich2042
      @joaquinpipinich2042 3 роки тому +1

      How long have u been doing it?

    • @sarahtriscik3758
      @sarahtriscik3758 3 роки тому +7

      Same. I’m in my mid twenties and have worked a 9-5 since 17. I feel like I cant stand it for another day. Trying to figure out what I can do instead.

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 3 роки тому +7

      @@joaquinpipinich2042 going on 7 years now :( I am definitely grateful I have a job but it’s scary feeling like there’s nothing more out there

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 3 роки тому

      @Jedidiah Francisco yeah :(

    • @m.o6801
      @m.o6801 3 роки тому

      @@sarahtriscik3758 honestly how I feel as well

  • @austinricky
    @austinricky 3 роки тому +7

    When you’re in a rut , try new things and go to new places. I summed it up for you.

    • @MrNederland2
      @MrNederland2 3 роки тому +1

      Does this really help...

    • @austinricky
      @austinricky 3 роки тому

      @@MrNederland2 actually the opposite in a covid society lol

  • @giannetantiado9812
    @giannetantiado9812 3 роки тому +38

    watching this while on my nth breakdown today:

    • @riteshshukla5605
      @riteshshukla5605 3 роки тому

      Nth ?

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 роки тому +1

      Please allow me to teach you some instant meditation. You focus on your breathing for 5 to 10 breaths. Then you focus on the area around the middle of your body for a little while. Then you listen for distant sounds. Repeat. Even if other thoughts keep going, as you repeat these 3 steps, you can feel goodness and calm moving into your life. www.amazon.com.au/Quiet-Paul-Wilson-ebook/dp/B003R509UG Paul Wilson has written lots of books about meditation. They're all good. The Calm App is also wonderful. www.calm.com/

  • @jamesryan82
    @jamesryan82 3 роки тому +2

    I love the way the School of Life never shies away from the fact that we are on a 'dung hill' but have the capacity within us to get past it. It is Marcus Aurelius for the person of today.

  • @MrStevemur
    @MrStevemur 2 роки тому +2

    “You can build a house on the edge of a desert.” Now trying to imagine how I could make that happen.

  • @theoutsider7119
    @theoutsider7119 3 роки тому +4

    Most ideas located between the subconscious and the conscious mind are projected clearly in this channel. Becoming aware of details especially about ourselves is truly a virtue..

  • @mrsszmanda07
    @mrsszmanda07 3 роки тому +14

    It’s like Alain knew what I was going through this week. Thanks TSoL ❤️

  • @rubyjulivre1136
    @rubyjulivre1136 3 роки тому +2

    The way i deal with sadness is accept the misfortunes, don't make excuses/justification --> give myself some time to grieve --> move on. It does helps me a lot.

  • @toniharrison1215
    @toniharrison1215 3 роки тому +1

    I'm so thankful I found this channel. Words cannot effectively describe my gratitude.

  • @ananya.a04
    @ananya.a04 3 роки тому +5

    School Of Life, you are truly a life changer. You make me question a lot of my opinions and thoughts that I previously believed were set in stone, and almost always they change for the better. Thank you for making these kinds of videos. 😊❤️🇮🇳

  • @justinekim4102
    @justinekim4102 3 роки тому +45

    "Oh you're depressed? Have more imagination."

    • @marihell4296
      @marihell4296 3 роки тому +6

      What did you want to hear? Stay in bed all day?

    • @CherryBerryFashion
      @CherryBerryFashion 3 роки тому +4

      What if You approsched this imagination of things as a childhood game? Since depression freezes Your desire to do most common things. Perhaps that could provide You with a seemingly meaningless yet positive expirience. And what if something meaningful pops up eventually?

    • @corneliao3o882
      @corneliao3o882 3 роки тому

      Well in the end you're the one depressed, no one is depressed for you.

  • @mazcot
    @mazcot 3 роки тому +1

    Every time I watch a video on this channel it gives me a new perspective and makes me feel normal. I can't thank you enough

  • @Valoelify
    @Valoelify 3 роки тому +1

    This came at the PERFECT moment, thank you so much school of life.

  • @alienhats3312
    @alienhats3312 Рік тому +4

    "The more things change, the more they stay the same…"

  • @nitpicksa8353
    @nitpicksa8353 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you very much, this message is much needed for myself and many others 🌻🤘🏼💕

  • @onlyme7358
    @onlyme7358 3 роки тому +2

    This is needed when going cold turkey and living with a narcissist.
    Thanks for the inspiration.

  • @j-bonkers1887
    @j-bonkers1887 3 роки тому +2

    This is exactly what I need in my life.
    Thank you for creating this wonderful content. Now I can see the the world and my life differently. That I shouldn’t think life is just one way; up or down. And that there is more to it and practically anything is possible as long as you have a good imagination to carry along this marvellous journey.

  • @impendio
    @impendio 3 роки тому +26

    The problem is that whenever I imagine myself being alone and starting again from zero, I can only think that it would be the perfect moment to finally kill myself without shame or regrets.

    • @moehersk7808
      @moehersk7808 3 роки тому +3

      Take it step by step man, think about all the things that will make u happy make a list and then think of the ones u can control and take it step by step. Theres always hope!

    • @Weeweevil
      @Weeweevil 3 роки тому +5

      I was thinking the same thing, man.

    • @dansmith2863
      @dansmith2863 3 роки тому +2

      Hang in there, the pain will leave it may not seam like it now but it will, spend time with friends and family and make new friends, you are awesome and your life is worth living.

    • @saratf
      @saratf 3 роки тому +1

      Same.

    • @corneliao3o882
      @corneliao3o882 3 роки тому +3

      The sad thing is that no one can really tell you you'll be alright. But the thing is that, you made your life, you made the body you live in(Except for what yo mama did), you made the friends you have, you made the choices you've made. You shaped your own life, and if you're not happy with it, you're probably a pretty darn bad life shaper(jk jk). I would suggest for you to think about, the life you would want to have, the person you would want to be. All this but don't think about the things you can't change, such as your past, it's in the past get over it, or facial features. Other than that you have a free mind to imagine whatever you want. What would you want to do with the life you have? If nothing, then either you literally did everything already or you're just trying to convince yourself there's no point. I've seen a lot of people hating themselves, and you can't just say "love yourself!", I'm trying to say "Then try your best to be the person you've always wanted to be, and fight for it. If you give up I'm gonna ask you, is the person you would want to be, a person who would give up on life?" Instead.
      Look I'm no expert, I'm only 15 and I've never been depressed. I don't know shit. But what have saved me from ever being depressed, and falling into the trap of life, is trying to be a life shaper. I hope it helps. I don't know who you are, but I still want you to live, and for you to give yourself a chance.
      /C

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 роки тому +13

    Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble

  • @cammackenzie4467
    @cammackenzie4467 3 роки тому +2

    This is a truly incredible video. Less than 5 minutes and this legitimately changed my outlook on life

  • @aprilmarch7474
    @aprilmarch7474 3 роки тому +1

    I am grateful to you for being an amazing source of perspective. A true feeling of understanding comes over me as I watch these incredibly poignant videos. Thank you for your work, time and care for the public brain, School of Life!

  • @aylastabile
    @aylastabile 3 роки тому +3

    love this...our imagination is for rewriting the stories of our lives! I'm having a hard time keeping up that open feeling of possibilities in the context of covid, in the face of isolation...you cant go out and see new things or meet people right now. But I try to have patience and I guess in this time of loneliness, the imagination just needs that much more strength.

  • @AndroidCovenant
    @AndroidCovenant 3 роки тому +107

    University courses cost money. Everything for that matter costs money

    • @justnorthofnormal2113
      @justnorthofnormal2113 3 роки тому +25

      This is why we need to imagine socialism too

    • @AndroidCovenant
      @AndroidCovenant 3 роки тому +23

      ​@@justnorthofnormal2113 I think we're going to get a little bit of socialism soon. I think the pandemic has opened a lot of people's eyes. We need UBI, healthcare coverage and tuition free college

    • @mattjustice4618
      @mattjustice4618 3 роки тому +16

      @@justnorthofnormal2113 unfortunately the billionaires hoarding all the wealth and power are being propped up and protected by the government. So the middle class and the working class will the ones paying the most for any type of socialism

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 3 роки тому +8

      @@mattjustice4618 Simple abolish the government, and install a new system truly for the people by the people. The only obstruction in everyone's path, is the will to act as a unified majority. Which is what the elite rich fear the most, is the populace uniting for the common cause of self betterment. Waking up from an eternal slumber, and refusing to live a lie any longer. The moment this happens a revolution occurs overnight, as the truth of the horrors of the USA will emerge. Nowhere left to hide, they will be dragged into the light. Everyone benefits from this when you cooperate with others for the needs of all individuals, and the betterment of mankind as a whole. Everyone gains, and all needless suffering, or optional suffering that is self inflicted is removed. Which this affliction, is no different than the deliberate act of willfully causing cancer upon yourself, and then imposing this cancerous growth onto all in society. If people would just put aside their differences, and unite, everyone would have their needs met. The communal good would flourish, and all human constructs of self induced suffering would end. Ushering in an era like never before seen of progress, and enlightenment for all humanity. We are all humans, its time we all start treating each other as such regardless. All have the same capacity for potential growth, betterment, kindness, compassion etc. It's merely a choice you make, for the choices of the mind are the ones they can never force you to relinquish. So what do they do instead? Simple, and horrible they deceive you into believing they can take these, and that they have accomplished taking them in doing so. They CANNOT take anything that resides within your mind, and the powers that be can't stand this. As they seek absolute control just as a fool deals in absolutes. For a fool wishes to rule the world, where as a wise person wishes just for a chance to live in it.

    • @bruhcomeon.
      @bruhcomeon. 3 роки тому

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l Jesus Christ, who are you ?

  • @txpyro1885
    @txpyro1885 3 роки тому +2

    There's no way to get out of a depressing mood if you're smart. Happiness in an intelligent person is the rarest thing I know.

    • @radiantsun8493
      @radiantsun8493 3 роки тому

      @@Jordan_Dossou I think he meant if one's really intelligent, he'll never be satisfied in life regardless his accomplishments, because he's too of a perfectionist and because he sees many other invisible shades in a problem and in this way his mind will never have some actual rest because too busy finding solutions to neverending problems.

    • @radiantsun8493
      @radiantsun8493 3 роки тому

      @@Jordan_Dossou well if you want to see it that way, any problem "appears from the air" after all, doesn't it?

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 3 роки тому

      If it helps at all.. I used to be a horrible cynic but after a double crisis I'm cured.. so there is hope! Seeing how bad it can get makes you really appreciate what you do have.

  • @Eliphosys
    @Eliphosys 3 роки тому +2

    What a fantastic dose of perspective! We can reclaim our personal power at any moment. Thank you for sharing.

  • @oktaydes
    @oktaydes 3 роки тому +3

    I sometimes think these videos are being made exclusively for me on spot on moments

  • @abhirambhat9277
    @abhirambhat9277 3 роки тому +3

    I always felt there was a relation between my mood & my visualization ..
    But this perfectly fixed it ..

  • @Cris-zx8df
    @Cris-zx8df 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you to TSoL!

  • @ysabelmariacartago-garcia265
    @ysabelmariacartago-garcia265 3 роки тому

    I pray that school of life continues to grow and flourish...thank you for everything ❤️

  • @aarond9563
    @aarond9563 3 роки тому +9

    I mean yes but this is all predicated on money and utter independence. We are flexible and can change whenever and for whatever when money is not an issue and people are not depending on that change "working".

    • @sdrawkcabUK
      @sdrawkcabUK 3 роки тому

      sadly all too true.... unless you're willing to live on the streets and eat from dumpsters, you choices will be constrained by needing to deal with the money system

    • @aarond9563
      @aarond9563 3 роки тому

      @@sdrawkcabUK I mean to a certain extent right? Probably homelessness is not the main concern for many people, but yes it's a constraint nonetheless. And also not sure it's too "sad". It's reasonable. I mean if money wasn't in the equation no one would be motivated to actually achieve anything and have the ambition to be flexible. Constraints are necessary.

  • @Enrico_Fusai_Counselor
    @Enrico_Fusai_Counselor 3 роки тому +3

    2:37 - I just LOVE how they put Britney Spears as a nobile model for rebirth in life...
    She should see this!!! ❤️

  • @mattd.3418
    @mattd.3418 3 роки тому +2

    Yeah I'm going to go ahead and share this with everybody I know. thank you, the we all needed this

  • @moaiadkhalid3398
    @moaiadkhalid3398 3 роки тому

    You have no idea how much I needed this....thank you sir!

  • @lynnmonger5515
    @lynnmonger5515 3 роки тому +3

    I needed this today thank you.

  • @dereksilvers9177
    @dereksilvers9177 3 роки тому +3

    Thanks for such realistic solutions to such common problems!!!!

  • @georgioskalogiannidis7293
    @georgioskalogiannidis7293 3 роки тому +2

    What a beautiful insight to have about despairing moments !!!
    This is truly helpful !!!

  • @Ritermann
    @Ritermann 3 роки тому +1

    I did exactly that for too long. Getting out of Problems telling myself lies of a better world without the one thing I am worrying about at that time. What I try to do now, is to take really time, go for a long long walk and then really think about what is bothering me, and then think about where I am really at and what I really want at the end.
    Because I noticed, that we should not believe everything we think. That's why, think twice. And then think one more time. And then really analyze it. This really helped me a lot lately.
    Unfortunately, I am lonely for most of my life. And that is something I can't get around. Even with the best kind of advice. :(

  • @pujeetjha8265
    @pujeetjha8265 3 роки тому +10

    My life is stuck in a rut and I can't do anything. I want to, I just can't.

    • @1SmokedTurkey1
      @1SmokedTurkey1 3 роки тому

      Welcome to the club! We have stale rotten cookies! Help yourself

    • @lisajohnson6351
      @lisajohnson6351 3 роки тому +1

      Start with doing something different.
      Constantly challenge yourself with “what could I do that would make me feel better?”.
      I suggest to start with a brisk walk.

  • @italianstallion399
    @italianstallion399 3 роки тому +11

    2020 in one video.

  • @katkatkatkat463
    @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому

    Thank you this is the comforting and commiserating pep talk we all need at the end of 2020

  • @ekaterinazanaeva2941
    @ekaterinazanaeva2941 3 роки тому

    love this info and video! Right on time!
    Now I know the power of imagination. We have to dream, imagine, plan a bright future, hope and make it happen.

  • @memofromessex
    @memofromessex 3 роки тому +54

    The worst advice is to start a new career. Who has the money to do that? I have a mortgage and bills to pay

    • @lopezmiaa
      @lopezmiaa 3 роки тому +11

      That's what I was thinking, I don't have the money for those things, it's not that easy I'm just so worried cause I have no job and a very and low chance of getting one

    • @JeffreyThrash
      @JeffreyThrash 3 роки тому +12

      That’s only feasible if the economy is in fantastic shape. That’s also like saying to a child who is sad about being unpopular and bullied at school: “Just move to a new school.”

    • @williamfischer5214
      @williamfischer5214 3 роки тому +26

      The advice wasn't to start a new career. I think the point is to imagine what it might be like to start a new career. Or to move to a Tibetan monastery, or become a circus juggler, or move back into your mom's basement, or learn to code, or start a cult (joking). The point isn't necessarily to do something different, but to experience the truth that your options aren't as limited as you think.

    • @wabi_sabi_love
      @wabi_sabi_love 3 роки тому +11

      That’s a great advise to those in despair/stuck with the job they hate/lost their job. You can sit and cry that you don’t have any skills and resources to start a new profession and stay in a looser/victim state of mind. Or you can start creating a new life fir yourself and learn new profession. This video is showing how our attitude will help us destroy our life or rewrite it for a “happy end”.

    • @pn2205
      @pn2205 3 роки тому +6

      With due respect, i think you still don't know the importance of this channel , it saves people from suicides, a person on the verge of suicide needs an answer to keep living, its not about better life they are talking here...they are talking about how we can still live even when it feels perfect to die either in real sense or from inside.

  • @lisalisaa1806
    @lisalisaa1806 3 роки тому +3

    Well, money helps with a lot of options. It can be done without, but that's a lot harder.

  • @Bezao3003
    @Bezao3003 3 роки тому +2

    It'll help me cope with this moral hangover. Thanks, guys! ❤️

  • @muneebkhan7465
    @muneebkhan7465 3 роки тому +2

    The School of Life uploads coherent and meaningful videos without unnecessarily making things complex.Plus the narration is so smooth.Wish your channel Good luck 👍

  • @jennifernorman9655
    @jennifernorman9655 3 роки тому +6

    Now feeling strangely compelled to change my name to 'Max Power'.

  • @thevaultinghorse
    @thevaultinghorse 3 роки тому +4

    wow, right as i was going to sink into another existential crisis

  • @pepe5645
    @pepe5645 3 роки тому +1

    Estaba en un estado de ánimo desesperado, abri YT. Mi canal favorito subió video y video de lo que más necesito en estos momentos. Gracias escuela de la vida.

  • @ZA-charity
    @ZA-charity 3 роки тому +1

    You're more powerful when your hardest moments help you look for what's better than giving into what's not.

  • @junede1005
    @junede1005 3 роки тому +7

    I've been depressed since 2020 started

    • @stephenridley1153
      @stephenridley1153 3 роки тому +2

      Don't worry. It's nearly 2021. It couldn't get worse, could it?

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 3 роки тому +2

      This year was just a rollercoaster for me.. it started at the top and I hit the very bottom in late spring. Climbing back up for 2021.

  • @cosmosaic8117
    @cosmosaic8117 3 роки тому +3

    I feel pretty stuck, but I know it's my mind that is what needs to be watched closely. I try to treat it as a fascinating investigation and exploration. The only real problem I have is I forget about this and get lost in my mind again without realizing it.

  • @deepika2644
    @deepika2644 3 роки тому +1

    My god.... Man you always deliver very good quality content that makes me feel not alone.... I love you ❤️