What Is Micro-Cheating?

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  • Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
  • When it comes to cheating, everyone has their thoughts and ideas about what that entails and what it may mean for their marriage. Micro-cheating is a term for actions and behaviors that open the door to another relationship or being unfaithful to your spouse.
    Micro-cheating is a series of interactions that may lead to something more with someone else despite your best efforts or intentions. If you believe that you or your spouse is a micro-cheater or you find yourself getting close to someone other than your spouse and don’t know why this video will help answer a few of your questions.
    In this quick video, we will cover:
    -What it means to micro-cheat
    -Fishing
    -What builds intimacy between two people
    -Being honest with your spouse
    -Tackling insecurities
    -How to avoid crossing boundaries
    -How to build a lasting, stronger relationship
    Stop a mistake before it happens. If you understand what cheating is and how it develops, it is easier to avoid these behaviors altogether and focus on making your marriage stronger than ever.
    Like, subscribe, and turn on notifications to hear more helpful videos and unique stories of reconciliation from other people going through the same situations that you’re in right now.
    Please leave a comment below, give us your feedback and opinion, and share this video with someone you believe needs it.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @MarriageHelper
    @MarriageHelper  2 роки тому +9

    Is your spouse showing signs of micro-cheating? If so, consider calling us for a free strategy on what to do next.
    Schedule your free call here: your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
    - Marriage Helper ❤️

    • @lindamateri9906
      @lindamateri9906 10 місяців тому +1

      My partner is online into the early morning hours with several women and I saw where he told one that she is a wonderful, beautiful sexy lady and he enjoys his time with her and in the next lifetime they know they will be wild together but he has told me that his sexting , texting and video chats shouldn’t matter and because they upset me he tells me I am insecure !!!!!!😢

    • @MayuriPatel-iw5xo
      @MayuriPatel-iw5xo 7 місяців тому

      Sounds like Pinocchio is a loser. Dump him! Would he stand for you doing same to him. And it’s clear he doesn’t care you are hurt by his selfish actions. It is cheating.

    • @lisaseverino5114
      @lisaseverino5114 7 місяців тому

      @@lindamateri9906 he’s horrible to you
      I hope you leave him.

  • @DarkerSideOfDawn
    @DarkerSideOfDawn 8 місяців тому +21

    Beware of manipulators . Some will act like the other person is insecure when that person has a reason to be. A cheater is a cheater ..

  • @liveeverycasttv2877
    @liveeverycasttv2877 2 роки тому +55

    My name is T.J. and my wife's name is Erika. Please pray for our marriage to be restored.🙏🏾

    • @pookeesplace
      @pookeesplace 5 місяців тому +1

      Said prayer for yours please say one for mine ok❤

    • @Johnydogood
      @Johnydogood 5 місяців тому

      Ok brother

    • @Regnad1
      @Regnad1 2 місяці тому

      @@liveeverycasttv2877 i hope everything is good now

    • @user-lm5mf7he5i
      @user-lm5mf7he5i 2 місяці тому +1

      If there are no kids, then move on brother. You’re the son of people who love you and need to love yourself by respecting yourself. If you’ve been wronged, there are children, and you want to forgive for the sake of them then the sacrifice makes sense. If not, then move on. If you’ve wronged her and there are no children, move on and work on becoming a better person.

  • @ericsartanahorner
    @ericsartanahorner 2 місяці тому +7

    Great advice. "Just friends" are definitely ones to look out for. I was burned more than once by that.

  • @Patrickstarrrrr69
    @Patrickstarrrrr69 Рік тому +34

    If you have to justify your actions, there is a very high chance that what you’re doing is wrong and deep down you know it

    • @echase416
      @echase416 8 місяців тому +1

      Or partners who stonewall

  • @pjpammyj4037
    @pjpammyj4037 2 роки тому +34

    No secrets.....best deal. Honesty is the best policy. Thanks Sir!!

  • @witness6144
    @witness6144 2 роки тому +55

    Thanks. Please pray my husband gets saved and my marriage is restored. Thanks.

  • @jessicaboyd9148
    @jessicaboyd9148 2 роки тому +80

    My hubby had an emotional affair and it all started with these micro cheating incidents, which I was accutely aware of. It was heartbreaking.

  • @francesgibbs1592
    @francesgibbs1592 2 роки тому +29

    My ex micro cheated with a woman he was talking with while on mission. Came home, filed for divorce and now married her. They were more than just friends while he was stationed there. He hid it for months, thinking I did not know. He gave up on our marriage and family.
    He never wanted me or kids to visit him while stationed there. Always had excuses. Had his freedom and enjoyed it.

  • @evanlundgren3039
    @evanlundgren3039 2 роки тому +74

    Wish my wife would watch this and understand her actions and how they affect everything

    • @ihci
      @ihci Рік тому

      Most women take zero accountability for their actions. The double standard are all in their favour and it doesn’t apply to them. all they do is manipulate you into you being the problem.

    • @djchewmacca
      @djchewmacca Рік тому +9

      Same here. She won't admit fault even though she did what she did and hurt me.

    • @emanueljeff1
      @emanueljeff1 Рік тому +1

      @@djchewmacca hello
      Is your past conversation considered microcheating? It is outside your relationship way before it started
      So is it considered microcheating or not?

    • @lisaseverino5114
      @lisaseverino5114 8 місяців тому

      I hear you! So sorry, it hurts deep!

    • @lickidysplit1989
      @lickidysplit1989 8 місяців тому

      Yep I'm hearing ya

  • @FaithRichFidler
    @FaithRichFidler Рік тому +7

    I'm an LPCC-S and an LICDC, who is now digging into marriage counseling strategies. Thanks for producing these videos. Seriously. As for Micro-Cheating ... I talk with clients about the "slippery slope" and this is a part of it. Recognizing the very beginning of the slope can be tough, but unless they "guard" their individual heart and mind, they can't actively protect their marriage. Again, thanks for these videos.

  • @djchewmacca
    @djchewmacca Рік тому +18

    You practically ticked every single box on what happened to me with my partner.

  • @theinvisiblewife3330
    @theinvisiblewife3330 Рік тому +6

    My husband does this all the time. He says his intentions are pure and not going to cheat.

  • @WanderingPilgrim
    @WanderingPilgrim Рік тому +5

    Thank you for this. (Details below the fold.) I suggestion I have for men who are naturally outgoing and love to create fun everywhere: If you get even the slightest hint that a woman may wonder about your intentions, be direct and emphatic: "Just so you know: I'm doing this strictly to be kind; not as a flirt." Then be prepared to cut all contact immediately if there's any chemistry or if either of you cross the intimacy boundary.
    My own background: After I worked through my own insecurities, I found that I naturally became very outgoing and the kind of man who creates fun everywhere. I watched this video to see what I can learn to guard myself against micro-cheating because I don't want to go there and I'm aware that I can be vulnerable to it. The progression you described was useful for watching myself and for paying attention other people's signals. Thanks!

  • @pnieuwenhuizen3
    @pnieuwenhuizen3 2 роки тому +32

    My wife is doing this right now to me...not only texting but being physical with this other man and she is totally OK with it all. I still love my wife...but not sure if I can ever 'love' her again after this!!!

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 2 роки тому +4

      Umm, when's the divorce, kaaskop. Lol

    • @earleenaustin174
      @earleenaustin174 2 роки тому +4

      No how can u love her when she is giving her attention to someone else?

    • @SeeMahbub
      @SeeMahbub Рік тому +1

      Staying with the cheater may cause you trauma bonding. Lots of people fell in this trap because of the kids. Stay away from the cheater.

  • @emadneseem9774
    @emadneseem9774 2 роки тому +17

    This video is really amazing and is very profound. It really describes what I have been through before I woke up and went back to Christ ❤❤

  • @laurawalker546
    @laurawalker546 Рік тому +13

    I am guilty of microcheating. What caused it i believe was the lack of good communication with my spouse and his emotional withholding. Funny though too, after 34 years he left me for someone he worked with ... his emotional communications were going elsewhere... two marriages were broken that day. 😢 I was looking for attention and emotional connection. I did not want to harm anyone and felt I knew where to draw the line. Where I was blind was the fact that I didn't realize that I needed something more from my husband.

    • @donnataylor5995
      @donnataylor5995 Рік тому

      My partner has been active on dating sites our whole relationship and prior to him asking me and my son to give everything up in one town and move in with him. Now, I'm leaving, having to start a fresh at the tender age of 52.
      I thought older guys were more of a gentleman, it seems I was wrong on this one.
      He convinced me he was holier than thou, which is the worst part - as I believed him.

    • @hayleysterling3598
      @hayleysterling3598 11 місяців тому

      The same thing happened to me. When I realized I had feelings for another man outside of my husband, I told my husband and tried to find what I was missing from him that I found that I could get from the other man. Fast forward two years later, I found his phone. He had been using dating apps and was messaging many women, meeting up with some random people and even prostitutes. He was directing a lot of his energy to hookups with women and even texting Romance scammers. I’m not saying what I did was right, but I felt like my feeling for another man were from his lack of awareness of how his actions affected our relationship. As I was trying to fight for our marriage and ignore my feelings for someone else to make sure I didn’t cheat on him he was already full blown cheating on me for long time. If you have enough self awareness sometimes microcheating can help you figure out if you’re missing something from your partner.

    • @finlander4065
      @finlander4065 10 місяців тому

      ​​@@donnataylor5995I'm very sorry this situation has affected you so. I found on Facebook that in 2012 my wife was having at a minimum an emotional affair. She had been inviting him to our barbecues and other activities over the years prior to me finding out about the cheating. We discussed this with the help of counseling and she agreed to break contact with him. Recently through a friend I found she is Facebook friends again and is private messaging him again. Your story and mine are different I know but still damaging if not devastating. We were married very young and have been married 38 years. My whole point in the post in short is to wish you the best and to please protect your heart.

  • @tinawhite7466
    @tinawhite7466 Рік тому +31

    Just recently caught husband contacting his ex wife telling her how he loved her and always would love her and how she was and is his only true love. I don’t believe this is going to work out for us! I can’t get past what he said to her. I’d never trust him again.

    • @MarriageHelper
      @MarriageHelper  Рік тому +4

      Tina we are so so sorry to hear this. We would absolutely love to talk with you on the phone to discuss what we can do to help. Would you allow that? You can call us toll free or schedule a call at your next convenience! We believe there is hope for ANY marriage, regardless of the situation! We have seen marriages saved thousands of times even after something like this was said to another person outside the marriage. Please consider reaching out at 1 866 903 0990.
      in the meantime, you may find some value from this free course we designed for you!
      your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course

    • @laurawalker546
      @laurawalker546 Рік тому +3

      The problem with this is he never healed from his divorce. People get married and get involved with people too soon after a divorce. And this causes all kinds of problems. And depending on how long someone was married before it takes that much longer to heal. He has some sort of problem with how he got divorced and how he didn't resolve his problems with the first wife. I am sorry that you are caught up in his consequences

    • @emilioconde8782
      @emilioconde8782 6 місяців тому

      Good for you. Set your boundaries. You are strong

    • @moeljodirjoanneke7975
      @moeljodirjoanneke7975 4 місяці тому

      Why did he got a divorce? Did he had an affair?
      Once a cheater always a cheater???

  • @larikajones9411
    @larikajones9411 2 роки тому +22

    I also think its a red flag if their energy shifts when you mention your S.O. The dynamic is sus, even if its just on their end, if it gets awkward whenever you talk abt your bf/gf and the fun things you did or are planning to do together.

    • @JTFSIX
      @JTFSIX 2 роки тому +2

      As an active and engaged micro-cheater, you are correct.

  • @moni4800
    @moni4800 2 роки тому +7

    Thank you for this , I pray I meet someone who will respect me 💔

  • @kevinkennett7474
    @kevinkennett7474 2 роки тому +25

    My insecurity Is due to my wife's affair.

    • @TheIndieSource
      @TheIndieSource 2 роки тому +5

      I hope you left her brother. 🙏🏾

  • @perillassttv
    @perillassttv 2 роки тому +14

    God bless this man.. I don't even believe in God, but God bless him

  • @shonazarsafayev2505
    @shonazarsafayev2505 2 роки тому +7

    I learnd a lot from this. Thank you.

  • @bella64276
    @bella64276 Рік тому +6

    Still care and want connection with your exes while they don't want that is also cheating when it is against your partner's will. Comaprong your partner to others bluntly, especially to your exes and people you fancy is also wrong. It's not so much of a rocket science to be sensible. I personally can not unseem these faults ever even if they beg for my forgiveness.

  • @WadeLife
    @WadeLife 9 місяців тому

    Great info, which I saw this 14 years ago...

  • @waydefontenot9316
    @waydefontenot9316 Рік тому +2

    I'm separated rite now and I've seen my wife do all of those things but no
    Mater how I approach her I
    Am dreaming up stuff

  • @HOPROPHETA
    @HOPROPHETA 2 роки тому +7

    Thank you!

  • @hardworkmcgee2998
    @hardworkmcgee2998 Місяць тому

    Always watch out for the hes been my friend since elementry school and hes having marital problems. No matter ifs a male or a female going through marrige problems, your spouse should never be thier fake counselor.

  • @jasony724
    @jasony724 5 місяців тому +2

    My wife would flirt infront of me and I can see the cringy looks and smiles from other couples. She would also play it off by not knowing certain man.
    This guy she was friend with on fb would like her posts and she would like his posts. Then yrs later he opens a restaurant and she goes there and then take me there for my bday. She pretends she doesn’t know him. And he text her afterwards.
    Another man she secretly met and talked to a party ended up being a funeral director where I was talking to him and she was in the same room and pretended not to know him. Then she likes and shares his posts.
    She then again pretend not knowing another guy. Then she takes a picture with him at a party we went to.
    There’s also a lot of other guy co workers that she secretly flirts with.
    She constantly introduce me to guys. Where I don’t see any other women doing the same.
    I don’t know what to do or think anymore.
    Every time it bothers me she plays the victim and make me the bad person that I’m over thinking it.
    She would also flirt and talk to other guys in front of me about computer stuffs. I know she’s attracted to professional type guys, cause I’m more of a outdoorsman and uneducated.

  • @Geekedpedagogy
    @Geekedpedagogy 2 місяці тому +1

    Why would a married man (my co-worker) send me Facebook reels a lot and every day, he even held my hand secretly? I don't know if he is clingy, because I noticed that he is touchy with everyone men, and women. We are close and tease each other but I feel weird about his behavior lately. He even holds my hips when we're sitting?

  • @smittysmith4828
    @smittysmith4828 2 роки тому +5

    Yeah my wife is doing this, has to leave the house to talk to "friends" on the phone and somehow it's my fault.

    • @MarriageHelper
      @MarriageHelper  2 роки тому

      Hey Smitty Smith, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
      We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!

  • @mlyndseycurten8976
    @mlyndseycurten8976 Рік тому +4

    A very important thing is to remember when you spouse has an Emotional affair with a coworker. Dont minimize the actions when the actions are big to the betrayed partner. You may say no it was nothing just texting, but to your betrayed spouse its about you spending the extra mile and being concerned about the one you are texting. If you do that its like slapping your betrayed partner in the face and saying that they have no right to feel the way they do. Admit it rt up front and show empathy everytime they express their pain, everytime until they feel a complete healing.

  • @anthonyromagno2297
    @anthonyromagno2297 2 роки тому +6

    Its called given them the time of day

  • @nyaxx38
    @nyaxx38 2 роки тому +6

    Wow. Very very true.

  • @aaronbarnes5378
    @aaronbarnes5378 Рік тому

    I am not insecure nor in need of attention yet, my wife thinks I am being flirtatious with almost every woman I speak to. I am a friendly person who has never met a stranger nor do I have enemies, I quickly forgive and move on. I treat men and women in the same manner, I like to have fun and joke around. My phone is wide open and nothing is hidden, I am honest whenever questioned and take her side adjusting my behavior if she feels threatened, yet, I am consistently accused of cheating and attacked about past instances where she thought I was cheating, even though I changed my behavior once confronted. How do I handle these constant attacks and accusations when nothing is going on, nor has it?
    This has been going on for years and at an impasse.

    • @lisaseverino5114
      @lisaseverino5114 8 місяців тому

      Go to marriage counselling together
      My husband is the same however, he will not show me anything on his phone and refuses marriage counseling. I have to attend counseling on my own 🤯

  • @charles17508
    @charles17508 3 місяці тому

    How to catch someone that does this my wife says that if you wouldn't do something in front of spouse than you shouldn't do it .

  • @vanessachavez8781
    @vanessachavez8781 9 місяців тому

    I wish my ex husband understood this. I'm sure he knew what he was doing but it still hurts and his micro cheating that he swore was innocent in the beginning, was still triggering because of his affairs in the past. It's been a year since our separation but it still hurts

  • @bhsd531
    @bhsd531 11 місяців тому

    You are smart and right

  • @roccocarlino067
    @roccocarlino067 4 місяці тому

    Attraction or familiarity is the light intoxication of lust. There is never any "justification" for this. True friends or colleagues will never exchange chemistry.

  • @ggrimpecom
    @ggrimpecom 5 місяців тому

    While I find it extremely naïve of the "micro-cheaters" not to see that they are on a slippery slope, I find it even more naïve, on a cultural level, to expect that none of that ever occurs in a marriage or any long term relationship whose primary goal is providing context for raising kids and/or passing on a family legacy. As the personal satisfaction of either spouse is only a secondary goal of such a relationship , the temptation of finding some extra comfort outside of the house will pop up every now and then. It only becomes a problem when it subtracts focus and resources from the primary deal: it's more about emotional involvement, time and money than about what actually happens or doesn't, or about secrecy vs openness. Anyway, that's how marriages in my family were expected to work and lasted 50+ years in generations previous to mine...

  • @jo-denelinton1269
    @jo-denelinton1269 2 роки тому +10

    My spouse is very very insecure!!! and hes messing around

  • @TriggerTravels
    @TriggerTravels 7 місяців тому +1

    You know what's even easier? Not getting married in the first place. Everyone is cheating! I know because I've often been the other guy

  • @unburningflame
    @unburningflame 2 місяці тому

    Kinda like when my marketing prof told me, not while I was her student, and that summer, "I'm living with my Mother to help her out." instead of I'm temporarily split from my husband who I'm still seeing, but please get me pregnant so I can abandon you to Colorado and show you your son 18 years later.

  • @scooterjp88
    @scooterjp88 2 роки тому +7

    Me and my wife are separated because of my anger. But she's now living a male friend she's known for 10 yes but she assures me he won't and she won't do anything. She lives in a basement suite and he is upstairs. But they tend to watch TV together and have conversations. I don't know what to think anymore.

  • @kimberlyedgett3592
    @kimberlyedgett3592 2 роки тому +7

    Mine flirts all the time.😖

    • @stevenolove
      @stevenolove 2 роки тому +3

      Get rid of the disrespectful scoundrel

    • @WhiteAngelLovesEarth
      @WhiteAngelLovesEarth 2 роки тому +7

      I could not be with someone for long if he's flirting with someone else.

    • @honeycandy5741
      @honeycandy5741 2 роки тому +2

      cut it off

    • @TigerHawX
      @TigerHawX 2 роки тому +1

      You should leave him

  • @k.s.ktheboogeyman2788
    @k.s.ktheboogeyman2788 2 роки тому +7

    Yea my wife does that all the fucking time

  • @michaelking4578
    @michaelking4578 2 роки тому +1

    Is it better to cheat a little bit 10 times or to cheat once in a big way? Hmmm

    • @cheetahcat3940
      @cheetahcat3940 2 роки тому +8

      Neither.

    • @earleenaustin174
      @earleenaustin174 2 роки тому +8

      Cheating us cheating

    • @annawimpey5307
      @annawimpey5307 Рік тому +1

      Sin is sin. There is no better or worse.

    • @rachhhh9722
      @rachhhh9722 8 місяців тому

      My ex did that constantly for years , DM ing women to tell them they are hot etc , flirting, inappropriate Snapchat pics .
      After years of that I cheated too only mine was more serious . I sort of feel like he set the precedent that it was okay for us . We are both as bad as each other , I messed up I'll admit that but would never have happened if he didn't do it first and if he'd been sorry but he always thought he'd done nothing wrong

  • @j__L344
    @j__L344 2 роки тому +1

    💚💚💚

  • @jameskeno2393
    @jameskeno2393 2 роки тому +5

    I don’t have to hide anything because my wife doesn’t care about me or what I do.

    • @honeycandy5741
      @honeycandy5741 2 роки тому +1

      :(

    • @evanlundgren3039
      @evanlundgren3039 2 роки тому +5

      Same here, I've almost reached the point of leaving mine, going on 2.5 years and don't live with her. I'd love to lie and say it gets easier to forge on, well it does because it wears you out, and nothing changes, but I want my years back wasted atp.

  • @miguellima737
    @miguellima737 Рік тому

    🎉

  • @vickihoekstra9566
    @vickihoekstra9566 2 роки тому +26

    You have a great voice - reminds me of the wildlife documentaries I watched when I was young 🤣😂🦌🦧🐅🦭🦓🦈

  • @ccshredder9506
    @ccshredder9506 Рік тому +3

    Sounds like this dude is just projecting