Why Narcissists Try to Provoke You (and How to Deal With It the RIGHT WAY)

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  • Опубліковано 11 тра 2021
  • 💪Are you ready to dominate narcissists and take your back in any conversation? Join me for a free live webinar! Click here to sign up 👉👉slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrai...
    ⭐Get started negotiating powerfully by grabbing Your Free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet right here (15 PAGE FREE EBOOK): 👉www.crushmydeal.com/
    ⚡TRYING TO BEAT A NARCISSIST? JOIN ME IN THIS FREE WEBINAR AND LEARN 3 PROVEN, SIMPLE STEPS TO CRUSH NARCISSISTS. CLICK HERE NOW:👉 slay.rebeccazung.com/
    What to do when narcissists provoke you.
    Have you ever wondered why narcissists try to provoke you and make you miserable? If you want to know why narcissists are so exhausting and so confusing, check this out. They love to bait you and wear you down. In this video, you'll learn how narcissists react when they can't control you and why they do things to make you react.
    🎓What you’ll learn in the webinar:
    The 3 empowering secrets you need to take back control when communicating with narcissists.
    How to develop a winning, foolproof strategy to drive the outcome you want out of negotiations with narcissists.
    How to be more powerful, persuasive and confident when negotiating with narcs.
    What to say in negotiation and how to say it so that you can beat narcs at their own game!
    How to anticipate what the narcissist will do and be two steps ahead of them at all times.
    About Rebecca Zung:
    ✅Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.
    ✅But her journey wasn’t always easy. She got married at 19, had 3 children and divorced at the age of 23. She was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.
    ✅She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor.
    ✅She has been featured in Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. She is the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on UA-cam and as a Top Podcast. She is also a frequent keynote speaker.
    --
    🎓FREE WEBINAR: 🎓FREE WEBINAR: DISCOVER HOW TO TURN THE TABLES ON A NARCISSIST HERE:👉slay.rebeccazung.com/
    #narcissistsupport #narcissistsreaction #rebeccazung
    Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,6 тис.

  • @RebeccaZungEsq
    @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +55

    📌Got a narcissist who’s trying to provoke you? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover how to crush them in 3 simple steps. Click here now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +5

      I will be there to answer all your questions!

    • @brettweary8491
      @brettweary8491 3 роки тому +3

      @@RebeccaZungEsq My Mum is 92 and will NeverStop I
      Until I am Dead or I Get to Retire to Vietnam if I Can Fly After Vaccination Rebecca My Heart has been Damaged by Her non Stop Narcissistic Behaviour Rebecca

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 3 роки тому +4

      @@brettweary8491 you need to disconnect someway somehow these demons will destroy you

    • @michelin5182
      @michelin5182 3 роки тому +1

      Can you imagine mine is a doctor and those simptoms are typical for him , but I will mention and he is collecting a garbage 🗑️ at home

    • @ronniejames8151
      @ronniejames8151 3 роки тому +1

      Complete truth

  • @cymbolichuman433
    @cymbolichuman433 3 роки тому +464

    They want you to lose it, so they look sane. But we all know better.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +27

      Definitely agreed!

    • @kahlodiego5299
      @kahlodiego5299 3 роки тому +6

      Wow - isn't that the best?!

    • @pinkposey8134
      @pinkposey8134 3 роки тому +9

      I pinch my forefinger and thumb together, not hard but is distracts from my emotional response. Then we calm down. Thank you so much!!!!

    • @MH-cv5ye
      @MH-cv5ye 3 роки тому +12

      @@pinkposey8134 interesting. I try and think 'hey, I know what they want, a reaction of emotions... Don't give it!'- but wow, it's difficult. Stay cool, everyone! Have a great day. 😎✔

    • @meredithtaylor6532
      @meredithtaylor6532 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you for that. This is exactly where I am right now. I feel like I am loosing my mind. But this makes me feel a bit better. I'm not nuts. And yes he talks about his first memory was of pooping himself and not yet having the verbal skills to get help so he just screamed...he brings that up alot

  • @aliacampbell7227
    @aliacampbell7227 3 роки тому +307

    They get SO ANGRY when you do not react. It’s crazy.

    • @kellifrumento8992
      @kellifrumento8992 2 роки тому +36

      Because they are nuts

    • @kanchanyadav1313
      @kanchanyadav1313 2 роки тому +6

      @@kellifrumento8992 😂 right

    • @artfull334
      @artfull334 Рік тому +14

      @@kanchanyadav1313 it’s not funny. They try to destroy another’s happiness, they wreck close ones lives!

    • @artfull334
      @artfull334 Рік тому +15

      @@kellifrumento8992 they’re not crazy, they know exactly what they’re doing. Any conversation with one is destructive to their victim

    • @MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom
      @MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom Рік тому

      It’s so funny to be I laugh in the inside😂

  • @theritual23
    @theritual23 2 роки тому +108

    You said it all, when you described them as toddlers in adult bodies. It’s absolutely it. Our mistake is looking at them as adults.

    • @CS-zn4bu
      @CS-zn4bu Рік тому +4

      Exactly! That was an eye-opener. Great video indeed !!

  • @cr3062
    @cr3062 2 роки тому +26

    If they can provoke you..they know they are in control of you and manipulating your emotions.

  • @ancamarr681
    @ancamarr681 3 роки тому +368

    Don’t let emotion interfere no matter what they do or say. Expect bad behavior. Don’t react to it! Poker face!😱

    • @leeboriack8054
      @leeboriack8054 3 роки тому +42

      If a narc tries to provoke me,
      I "grey rock" or just dont respond w any emotion. A drama free response and they hate it.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +17

      Exactly!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +12

      @@leeboriack8054 good idea!

    • @sofiaruby603
      @sofiaruby603 3 роки тому +5

      This is so hard to do especially living in a studio . My adult kid is narc. Cant take it anymore.

    • @curlyydancer
      @curlyydancer 3 роки тому +13

      @@sofiaruby603 Kick him out, make him get a job and stand on his own two feet. No one deserves to be a prisoner in their own home. Especially when YOU pay the bills.
      I moved out at 17 to escape my narc family. Now 10 years later I had a kid with a narc .

  • @davidhinkson8856
    @davidhinkson8856 3 роки тому +240

    I notice when you ignore them for a while they would attempt to provoke you so they can get their high.

  • @monarchmark
    @monarchmark 3 роки тому +124

    I immediately block those kind of people without fail. Negotiating with a narcissist is like standing on a roof top and arguing with a severe thunderstorm.

  • @dreamer5329
    @dreamer5329 2 роки тому +2

    They are bullies of the playground of life...period.

  • @hopeinhumanity.
    @hopeinhumanity. 3 роки тому +269

    The vulnerable type appear to provoke to get a reaction so that they can feel like the victim and tell people they are the abused one.

  • @scottdunn2178
    @scottdunn2178 3 роки тому +113

    Narcissism is an extreme overcompensation for extreme insecurity...

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +16

      Totally!

    • @scottdunn2178
      @scottdunn2178 3 роки тому

      @@RebeccaZungEsq Tawny Kitaen was a prime example. Tender heart... but a tortured mind. I just exchanged DM's with her on Twitter when her dad died April 12th, and she was more concerned with the people who were worried about her rather than the other way around. I got a really sweet DM from Tawny on the 14th (my birthday) saying thank you for my kind words. I just heard that the police didn't find any evidence of drugs... so, if that's the case then I'm sure she just died of a broken heart having just lost her dad.

    • @MygirlsGJPB
      @MygirlsGJPB 3 роки тому

      @@scottdunn2178 that doesn't sound like narcissistic behavior. Codependent maybe?

    • @kahlodiego5299
      @kahlodiego5299 3 роки тому +5

      Heartbreaking - and after 3 years of being stalked and harassed do I feel empathy? FUCK 'EM AND EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS AND COVERS UP FOR THEM.

    • @truthseeker1871
      @truthseeker1871 3 роки тому +2

      In terms of insecurity from what I have seen these crudbuckets create their own insecurity in part through the damage they do to the people into which they thrust their fangs. No, the narcissist will get to sympathy from me.

  • @brucefeagler980
    @brucefeagler980 3 роки тому +6

    They never apologize for anything that they say or do that hurts someone.There appears to be lack of empathy.

  • @seanwoods1963
    @seanwoods1963 3 роки тому +129

    Yeah, agree with you. It's that little satisfied smile that they can't quite suppress that gives them away.

    • @HippieGoddess142
      @HippieGoddess142 2 роки тому +14

      Or that feeling of relief you sense from them (empath here) once you react to their abuse and get “mean” with them. Like “Yes! She’s not the perfect, nice person I saw her as. She’s flawed like me!”

    • @tracysapp3069
      @tracysapp3069 2 роки тому +22

      The narcissistic smirk.

    • @armsitchy7623
      @armsitchy7623 2 роки тому +18

      @@tracysapp3069 absolutely the smirk gives them away

    • @dawnshively6731
      @dawnshively6731 2 роки тому +17

      Yea i seen that smile it sickens me

    • @dawnshively6731
      @dawnshively6731 2 роки тому +8

      Yea i seen that smile it sickens me

  • @jennifer5712
    @jennifer5712 3 роки тому +111

    Truth plus after provoking you, they get to tell family and friends how horrible you are.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +22

      Exactly. Heinous.

    • @anicoleratliff2681
      @anicoleratliff2681 3 роки тому +13

      Also landlords and co-workers

    • @spicyphilly
      @spicyphilly 3 роки тому +10

      YES! Omgosh this is what I'm currently dealing with. It's so confusing. And now he tells me how everyone thinks he's crazy for talking to me.

    • @dorothyesked1802
      @dorothyesked1802 Рік тому +6

      Yes my ex would create drama once I was provoked and fought back he would tell friends, family, and all his flying monkeys what an awful person I was and he was always the victim. True

    • @MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom
      @MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom Рік тому +3

      @@spicyphilly confusing is not of God

  • @liesbethdevries4986
    @liesbethdevries4986 3 роки тому +100

    If it's new, it's mine, mine, mine.
    When it's broken, it's yours.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +9

      Yup! Exactly!

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 3 роки тому +3

      Sounds familiar

    • @heidijohnson5262
      @heidijohnson5262 3 роки тому +5

      And when it’s broke, it’s YOUR fault.

    • @DaTaJaSi
      @DaTaJaSi 3 роки тому +2

      ✨Sooooo true! No matter what it is! As long as it’s new!!

  • @evolvingthedarknesstarot8440
    @evolvingthedarknesstarot8440 3 роки тому +31

    They get off on being able to control your feelings. Feelings are very important. Feelings are powerful.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  10 місяців тому +1

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

    • @danieljinkins3267
      @danieljinkins3267 4 дні тому

      Agreed. When we see it run. 🏃

  • @EBUNNY2012
    @EBUNNY2012 3 роки тому +75

    "Before you get too bothered about the narcissists, remember, they are figured out, they are not winning, they are in their own hell; so, set boundaries, don't gossip, walk away and let them get fixed and let them build the bridges they burned." - brian padrick drake

    • @mayank64723
      @mayank64723 Рік тому +4

      Don't gossip. Isn't gossiping itself a trait shown by narc(to inflate their egos)?

    • @NOHANDLEMADEBYME
      @NOHANDLEMADEBYME Рік тому

      Thank you. Their #1 trait is gossip. Smear campaigns. In a nightmare of narc. stalker w/access to every phone. They used whomever possible for flying monkeys. Hoping we get out of this alive.

  • @annvalentine7148
    @annvalentine7148 3 роки тому +137

    So true. Best protection is to pretend you don't care, even if you do. You are no longer injured by their abuse, worried that anyone will believe their lies, or intimidated by their threats. nothing to get here.

    • @silentassassin47
      @silentassassin47 Рік тому +2

      lucky you

    • @silentassassin47
      @silentassassin47 Рік тому +1

      @@tjd7964 yeah

    • @geoffgreenwood3243
      @geoffgreenwood3243 4 місяці тому

      I'm 98% effective at this, and I know it's right.
      What should I do if I briefly lost it for a moment, snapped back briefly, then composed myself, but find my self ruminating over it days later? 😂

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 2 місяці тому

      @@geoffgreenwood3243forgive yourself and move on in your beautiful life, learn the lesson and stay away from them.

  • @Chidiuche
    @Chidiuche 3 роки тому +171

    True! They enjoy making others sad. The only problem these days is that narcissists are now the ones calling their victims and other people narcissists.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +16

      Totally!

    • @delicatedominance
      @delicatedominance 3 роки тому +11

      This is so true.

    • @miriamhavard7621
      @miriamhavard7621 2 роки тому +4

      BINGO!

    • @Cedargal5560
      @Cedargal5560 Рік тому +2

      It’s all about provoking, especially after they lost themselves. They desperately want you to lose too. If you finally had enough and be firm and emotionless, they would say this is your true face and you’re the evil one. My ex rotated in different methods so quickly, super calm and reasonable apologies and explanation, angry accusations, and sadness and depression as if his life was falling apart. The most horrible thing is the persistence.

  • @Lovinvallarta
    @Lovinvallarta 2 роки тому +14

    Truth! My narcissist actually said he finds it fun to get me upset. What shocked me was his admission!

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229 8 місяців тому +10

    A sense of control, power, and attention. All these are a part of their composition.

  • @kenoy347
    @kenoy347 3 роки тому +17

    Crazy people they confuse the hell out of you

  • @scottdunn2178
    @scottdunn2178 3 роки тому +60

    They like shaking the tree and see if they can get any fruit (narcissistic supply) to drop.

  • @heatherpesterfield8121
    @heatherpesterfield8121 10 місяців тому +8

    They will seek out your weak spots and use these against you …they do things you asked them nicely not to and in the end sometimes sadly you do get upset and they seem happy when this happens and they seem to have no real emotions towards you
    They can carry on the day like it was you not them
    But what they don’t like is when they do not succeed especially if you stone wall them and carry on smiling

  • @grannybear3960
    @grannybear3960 2 роки тому +2

    Truth. They provoke in order to upset, so then the narcissist has an excuse to punish their target with actions they would do anyway, but if the target looses their cool, the narcissistic will insist to themselves, the enablers, the flying monkeys, and the target, that it is all the fault of the target. They know it hurts. That, also, to them, is power.

  • @mptajo
    @mptajo 3 роки тому +72

    I feel like it is because they act like immature children. Oh how they love getting a rise out of you! It feeds their fragile little ego's.
    They also love to find something to start arguments...this helps them justify whatever they had already planned anyway but needed an excuse.

  • @prschuster
    @prschuster 3 роки тому +68

    They can't grasp the fact that there are really kind hearted people in the world who would actually help them out of the kindness of their heart. They see pthers as potential enemies or competitors who must be defeated.

    • @dianevanderlinden3480
      @dianevanderlinden3480 2 роки тому +2

      or exploited

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  10 місяців тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

  • @danieljinkins3267
    @danieljinkins3267 4 дні тому

    I want to thank her for exposing these crazy makers. Stay away from them my friends. Know that they are the ones at fault’s. Don’t react. It only makes them look right.

  • @brendaleverick3655
    @brendaleverick3655 3 роки тому +18

    Whenever my arc and I are arguing, he will always say, "see, this is why everybody is always mad at you.". He always brings others into it that have nothing to do with what we're arguing about.

    • @shebakali6
      @shebakali6 2 роки тому +3

      Never JADE a narcissist. Justify, argue defend or explain. It is a waste of time. You are just giving them what they want, which is narcissistic supply.

    • @brendaleverick3655
      @brendaleverick3655 2 роки тому +1

      @@shebakali6 You are absolutely right. Thank you!

    • @shebakali6
      @shebakali6 2 роки тому +1

      @@brendaleverick3655 your welcome. I have many techniques bc I am temporarily stuck living with one. #1. Grey rock. Don’t show positive or negative emotions. #2, keep a daily journal for insights on dealing with them and your feelings. 3. Reprogram your subconscious with positive affirmations (“ I only connect with normal and healthy people, I please myself first, I invest in my own self first, I love myself unconditionally, etc). 4. Quantify the time you spend with them. For ex, if you have to spend 3 hours in one day, try to have very minimal contact for the next 3 days. 5. Develop the spiritual practice of mouna. (Silence). So that means you don’t have to listen or speak for a certain time or on certain days. 6. Earplugs. Cover your ears with hair if you can. Their drama making is almost comical when you hear it muffled. 6. Develop meditation practice to neutralize negativity. I put mine gently into a dumpster and the dumpster dumps her into the dump and I say, god deal with her bc I can’t. Then I replace that scene with a nice visual and add sounds, colours etc. 7. When they start their drama, Say you have to urgently go to the washroom. Use any technique that you can to stop thinking of them. In a month you will notice a big difference. Hope this helps 🙏🏾

    • @brendaleverick3655
      @brendaleverick3655 2 роки тому

      @@shebakali6 Yes, thanks!

    • @michaelkennedy5126
      @michaelkennedy5126 2 роки тому +2

      Just say, no I don't see, and tell him to take an online logic course because it's impossible for "everyone" to think the same about you.

  • @michelewuensch8468
    @michelewuensch8468 3 роки тому +42

    This has been proven in brain studies. Their brains are different from normal brains. Pleasure centers light up when they view suffering.

    • @morganreese4257
      @morganreese4257 3 роки тому +1

      So my narc’s brain should look like a fireworks 💥 factory explosion..

    • @truthseeker1871
      @truthseeker1871 3 роки тому

      Thank you ever so much, Michele, for the corroboration.

    • @olguiq1013
      @olguiq1013 3 роки тому

      EVIL PEOPLE....

    • @olguiq1013
      @olguiq1013 3 роки тому

      TRUTH!!!

    • @jenamirgholi6004
      @jenamirgholi6004 2 роки тому

      ya, i see people get happy when they see a person that is upset. seen it several times. stunned and shocked at humanity. people are disgraceful. joy when Jesus returns.

  • @onajourney2072
    @onajourney2072 3 роки тому +18

    You know our civilisation is devolving fast when narcissism is so widespread.

  • @sallyvlosich9115
    @sallyvlosich9115 3 роки тому +7

    That was a shocker to me ... did not recognize that I was crying and did not care.

    • @simoner615
      @simoner615 2 роки тому

      So true. No empathy if you're crying. Wowwww. I forgot that one

  • @aspaerialshotphotography8906
    @aspaerialshotphotography8906 4 місяці тому +1

    "Truth" My mom is still like this till this very day she'll never change

  • @justlookalittledeeper9953
    @justlookalittledeeper9953 3 роки тому +69

    Truth!
    The narcissist may stare you down, do a face scan, to see if the provocation is working. It can double as intimidation. If they do it in your peripheral line of sight, it'll feel like you've got a velociraptor hunting you. They may even do the more ridiculous head tilt or head bob, when they're doing a gotcha scan.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +15

      Totally!

    • @PrettyToez07
      @PrettyToez07 3 роки тому +9

      You're spot on with this one.

    • @anubisoftllc
      @anubisoftllc 3 роки тому +10

      My narcissist ex did that face scan thing. Anytime she detected a whiff of happiness crossing my face the abuse would begin. To deal with it I would grey rock her but I ended up suppressing my normally vibrant personality and that also negatively affected my career.

    • @shebakali6
      @shebakali6 2 роки тому +7

      This is why you go grey rock. Don’t show emotions, good or bad. I also turn my face away to roll my eyes or smirk at their drama to make sure they do not see my facial expressions, which is all supply for them.

    • @nushraziyan1772
      @nushraziyan1772 2 роки тому +1

      My narcissistic mother in law does it.🥺

  • @teal1010
    @teal1010 3 роки тому +22

    I don't think Narcissists are highly skilled at figuring out your weaknesses.
    They Watch, Listen and Study you for that purpose!

  • @poppykoch9085
    @poppykoch9085 2 роки тому +14

    They provoke, argue, you argue back. They up the ante (toddler tantrum) by shouting at you until you break down so again they win! I have never heard these topics so well put. The epiphanies you provide are making it easier for me to deal with a narcissistic family member and forgive myself for standing up for myself.

  • @oileengrace8228
    @oileengrace8228 3 роки тому +6

    Yes, he enjoys it when I cry. He laughs at the news of anyone suffering. He thinks they're dumb.

  • @kenndaily8451
    @kenndaily8451 3 роки тому +71

    The narcissist's smear campaign may be a means of causing pain.

    • @Haley497
      @Haley497 3 роки тому +18

      Sad truth is what really inflicts that pain is seeing everybody eat it up with a spoon. The narc could smear me to the moon and back I wouldn't care, but when I see the smear effectively working everywhere with (almost) everyone... The only silver lining is getting to know who really knows you and is immune, but jobs, social circles, schools, courts, even therapists (who oughta know better), then it's nearly impossible not to squirm.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +7

      Definitely

    • @anicoleratliff2681
      @anicoleratliff2681 3 роки тому +5

      @@Haley497 I agree

    • @kenndaily8451
      @kenndaily8451 3 роки тому +9

      @@Haley497 yep. It's surprising how many "believers" there are.

  • @scottfipps1491
    @scottfipps1491 3 роки тому +75

    Truth! You agree with everything they think or do, don’t rock the boat by having autonomy. It is like dealing with a 3 year old that wants you to die a terrible death if the wrong word comes out of your mouth. It is inconceivable.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +13

      Totally!

    • @louiserodmore7284
      @louiserodmore7284 3 роки тому +10

      Absolutely! This has been my life for the last two years and always knew there was something not quite right - and realised this week that he’s a covert narcissist to the letter.

  • @simonverbick973
    @simonverbick973 3 роки тому +2

    What i have learned as well is that they want you to be in the mood that they want you to be in..

  • @danieljinkins3267
    @danieljinkins3267 4 дні тому

    Dealing with one currently that made up lies about me during a family funeral. She ignored me and invited all of her family to my house and did not include me. I was nice enough to share keys and a car for them to use. She ignored me and made up lies that I was rude to her. When I blew up ; they all acted like I was wrong. I cut them off. She is a total narcissist.

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 3 роки тому +21

    Narcs have the mindset of "the haves and the have nots". If you are happy w out the narc, the narc becomes a have not. The narc breaks your happiness so they can raise themselves up.

  • @RB-jq6gh
    @RB-jq6gh 3 роки тому +9

    This explains all my old employers.

  • @Akira300
    @Akira300 2 роки тому +2

    TRUTH. No lie my ex wife narc during one talk she was having with me she kept interrupting her own conversation with me by asking "Are you crying? Are you crying?". She was looking to see if she was making me emotional. I've never heard or seen anything like that but that's how gross they are. And she was looking for it because she WAS GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF IT! Sick! 🤮

  • @loekiekanters4295
    @loekiekanters4295 Рік тому +1

    Truth. Some of them treat you like a toddler because they're afraid you'll find out they're still a toddler.

  • @debrabostwick2250
    @debrabostwick2250 3 роки тому +32

    Truth. My ex husband narc once told me he enjoyed taunting people and then lay back and watch them respond! Jerk.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      At least he's honest about his narcissism. :) LOL. In all seriousness, I send you light and support. They suck to deal with.

    • @alonzomosley7
      @alonzomosley7 3 роки тому +3

      Sounds exactly like my Machiavellian brother Jerk

  • @aharry31
    @aharry31 3 роки тому +14

    Narcissists are like impudent imps always looking for a thrill at someone elses' expense. When they get a new supply they are jolly dang gleeful due to the cruel damage caused by them of the discarded supply and the admiration of the new supply.

  • @love_yourself_jj
    @love_yourself_jj 3 роки тому +4

    Yes yes they love seeing us heartbroken and hurt 💔 I agree and ruining holidays and getting us jealous just to make us feel down 💔 it's so hard to live with them

  • @jonlattanz
    @jonlattanz 8 місяців тому +4

    As I watch this, I have just finished extricating myself from a narcissists life. I made the mistake of having this individual live with me and I chose to leave unannounced and cease all contact. Everything you’re saying is so true.

  • @ruthyoung1032
    @ruthyoung1032 3 роки тому +34

    So glad I finally understand that they enjoy watching you squirm because I am totally grey rock and don't let them get to me anymore. They're sick and I'm so disgusted. Soo much needless suffering I've been through since childhood 😡. Grew up and married a covert. I'm being well educated and taking corrective action

    • @shelly-annjohn4965
      @shelly-annjohn4965 3 роки тому +6

      Miss Ruth these people are more than sick they are demon possess .God is great put your trust in him.You be ok take care stay bless.shelly from trinidad Caribbean.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +6

      Sending you light

    • @wendy7062
      @wendy7062 3 роки тому +6

      That wake up moment is so glorious. To know it has a name and you are not alone!

    • @lillumination5388
      @lillumination5388 3 роки тому +2

      They are parasitic, very destructive. Walk away, and you will cut their supply, and they will self-destroyed through mental deterioration. Watch the show.

  • @catlady6938
    @catlady6938 3 роки тому +27

    My ex provoked me too much, I had stopped giving him his supply so he would do the silent treatment which he knew drove me mad, in the end I had enough and I walked away. They really are stupid, if they stopped doing these awful things people might not leave them.

  • @dickturpin435
    @dickturpin435 Рік тому

    'Nobody needs to tell me about the faults of other people. I can see them every time I take me eyes off my own.' Anon.

  • @heatherpesterfield8121
    @heatherpesterfield8121 9 місяців тому +1

    They think they are special And that they seem to get away with stuff and have excuses for their behavior and expect you to accept this.Sometimes they are gas lighting and other times they get caught out and use pathetic excuses why they did this .The thing is they are always testing you and waiting for your reaction and when you get really upset ..they seem to have won .so be aware and don’t let them play this game .

  • @geneman4
    @geneman4 3 роки тому +31

    Truth, she tells me that no one will ever love me like she did.

    • @debrabostwick2250
      @debrabostwick2250 3 роки тому +8

      My narc ex husband said the same thing when I escaped his clutches. He also said no man would be as good in bed as he was! Arrogant, pompous jerk.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +13

      All lies!

    • @5winder
      @5winder 3 роки тому +3

      Thank God.

    • @kiyokowilkinson158
      @kiyokowilkinson158 3 роки тому +1

      @@debrabostwick2250 , I am being told the same thing but I really believe he is right about that nobody will ever love me again I am very savaged person now but I'd rather be alone than keep going through this i think . Working on it now . Pray for me please I am a handicapped woman and that's constantly used against me now . Je broke me and plays the victim because of this now . Makes me sick to my stomach , honestly .

    • @debrabostwick2250
      @debrabostwick2250 3 роки тому

      @@kiyokowilkinson158 you are more worthy of being loved again then he will ever be. I will keep you in my positive thoughts and prayers.

  • @craig3714
    @craig3714 3 роки тому +18

    Truth they love provoking me for sure !

  • @PBVader
    @PBVader 3 роки тому +10

    Truth, and facts. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine." And "I'm gonna move things around and make you think you are going crazy." Watch out for these code words!

    • @donking454
      @donking454 2 роки тому +1

      I’ve been rinsed by my gf and her kid and when I needed their help they ran to the hills…. It’s what narcs do, use you and when they can’t use you no more they get rid of you.

  • @Evernia6181
    @Evernia6181 4 місяці тому

    I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that these people carry on like this

  • @kenndaily8451
    @kenndaily8451 3 роки тому +33

    My narcissist was not only elated by making others "squirm," but he became ecstatic anytime anyone experienced a challenge. One guy was scammed by a counterfeiter, and my narcissist couldn't wait to tell everyone. Another guy endured a serious injury, and my narcissist thoroughly enjoyed his suffering.

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 3 роки тому +9

      I know many of these demons They actually salivate 🤬at others pain Its disgusting....

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      Horrible!

    • @kisigma1011
      @kisigma1011 3 роки тому +3

      @@lovewhitey2027 true 💯

    • @PBVader
      @PBVader 3 роки тому +4

      My ex narc laughs or giggles when someone sustains an injury. Now I know why. WTF

    • @janetbish3778
      @janetbish3778 2 роки тому

      My sister loves when others squirm and brags about it to me. I sit there in shock time after time.

  • @bws1971
    @bws1971 3 роки тому +32

    I wonder whether any narcissist has ever prompted so much supply that they got put in the hospital. AFAF

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 3 роки тому +4

      Combustion 💥🤬🤬☠️💥⚠️

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      Awful!

    • @danbride9407
      @danbride9407 3 роки тому +1

      Yes I was dealing with one financially and we broke communication for about 2 to 3 weeks and when we connected again he told me he was in the hospital some thing to do with his heart ❤ and he couldn't take it any longer he still owes me money to this day I think he said he's getting out of that kind of work capital one figured it out with me there was fraud going on and there was another this one was a woman this was a similar situation she also couldn't take it any longer and she turned her self into a retreat for a couple of weeks she came back but I stopped dealing with her she still owes me a lot of money

    • @bws1971
      @bws1971 3 роки тому

      @@RebeccaZungEsq To be clear, I was being facetious

  • @libs5382
    @libs5382 2 роки тому +6

    100% they do enjoy it, and you can see it in their faces. I think they get off on people's anxiety and helplessness. Like a power-trip. Thank you

  • @gracievargas6607
    @gracievargas6607 2 роки тому +10

    “YES!!!!”, you’re absolutely correct every time I cared less of what he would talk to me about the more he would blow up and I would just keep my posture calm cool collective.. I never allowed him to destroy my piece

    • @bluecollarlit
      @bluecollarlit Рік тому

      peace: calm, happy
      piece: a piece of cloth

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen 3 роки тому +36

    The truth here is that Rebecca has hit another cognitive dissonance obliterating, trauma bond ending, its not you, its them, game winning home run ! Great video !

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +5

      Thank you! So glad it's working for you!

  • @CutePokapipi
    @CutePokapipi 3 роки тому +25

    Rebecca you don't know how you have saved my life. It's easy for you to just make a video and upload it but for someone like me to find this specific information makes all the difference in my life. Getting saved from trauma and domestic abuse is what I have achieved from your education. Thank you for this. God bless you.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  10 місяців тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

  • @teresahickson9467
    @teresahickson9467 3 роки тому +2

    Mine provokes me until I get angry, then he says, we aren't ever going to get along are we. And I don't know why you always want to argue

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому

      Teresa Hickson,You look gorgeous 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

  • @GREGHIGGS1
    @GREGHIGGS1 2 роки тому

    POWERFUL TRUTH!
    NARCISSISTS have an undeniable capacity for SADISM!

  • @suebashir9160
    @suebashir9160 3 роки тому +14

    💯 % Everything you said is on 🎯. He always acts like a toddler. Just happened on Mother’s Day any Holiday, they have to ruin the day. I have been putting up with his crap for over 30 years. He’s controlled my life to the point I have no confidence and he had kept me from working and I have no means to provide to live a life the same income as I do now if I leave him. My daughter can’t stand her father and has begged me to leave him and divorce.....nothing more that I would like to do then to get out but I can’t see a way how. Every day he abuses my children and me.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      Sending you light. Come join me on my free webinar if you’d like too.

    • @maramabdallah5479
      @maramabdallah5479 3 роки тому +4

      Welcome to my world ! 😔

    • @curlyydancer
      @curlyydancer 3 роки тому +4

      Give yourself permission to set a goal for yourself and chase after it relentlessly. Don’t stay. Your daughter may continue the pattern. I did because I watched my mother ignore me begging her to leave since I was 3, and it ends with my daughter. Stop the pain cycle

    • @michellecodispoti6203
      @michellecodispoti6203 3 роки тому +5

      I feel you. I’m going through this as well and feel regret for not leaving. I feel my children have been affected by this their whole life. He will berate, ignore and dismiss me right in front of them. Like I don’t even exist. So I was just told by my daughter why do I keep trying? You both don’t like each other. It hurts bc inside I’ll always love him and thought it could get better but 26 years of marriage later nothing has changed. The guilt feelings I have about how my kids have lived their life upsets me so much. We can never get those years back.

  • @A1Happy777
    @A1Happy777 3 роки тому +3

    Sadly it does seem that way whether it is a parent or boss, it is like they never grew up from the child games.

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому

      Heike,You look gorgeous 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

  • @Grabacuppacoffee
    @Grabacuppacoffee 20 годин тому

    I have a 6 year old, it is a nightmare, he now provokes and winds him up despite my child saying no and getting upset..this make me MAD. I am so sick of the pretend "playing" "only a joke" the stupid grin when I go mad. I will PROTECT my child. What annoys me also is he stands there with this stupid victim look as well all hurt cos mummy us shouting at daddy again...he does this in the garden too, so my neighbours think I am the crazy one and he is the poor husband! I can't win. I call him out now, I say he is playing the victim, I say he is baiting, I say his stupid grin is a narcissists satisfied smile. Not surprisingly he is alot more angry and miserable lately as his nonsense gets thrown back at him.

  • @mariacamacho4782
    @mariacamacho4782 3 роки тому +14

    You totally described my husband, I call him a 2 year old toddler that has a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. 😁

    • @pratibhapanghal
      @pratibhapanghal Рік тому

      Same here

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 7 місяців тому

      What's really fun is when they get older and this behavior becomes more revolting and obnoxious at the same time they gain weight, go bald and lose their good looks. In my case it was like going from being married to a young and handsome Burt Reynolds, to an old and ugly Uncle Fester. With the secondary mentality of a mean and comically malicicous 10 year old like Pugsly (Adams Family). He actually thinks its funny to fart over and over when in my company (a form of disrespect) and act obnoxiously silly in a childish way yet subtley mean at the same time, like a Jim Carey skit. I feel trapped and miserable at this stage in life when I have somewhat healed and grown (from childhood narc abuse from a covert narc mother). Been no contact with family of origin for 10 years, parents are now dead and the previously (intermittetly) hidden narc in husband is fully "blooming" now.

  • @priscillamarie2474
    @priscillamarie2474 2 роки тому +8

    Along with the abuse Im rebuilding my trust for myself so THIS RIGHT HERE is a HUGE confirmation 🙌🏼🙏

  • @essencer.9494
    @essencer.9494 3 роки тому +4

    "You're treating me like your enemy and I don't know why!" (as he wished harm on my dog, bring up my past traumas randomly, literally telling me I don't have the right to my own autonomy, ect)
    Scariest time of my life (which says A LOT). It came into undeniable clarity when I heard my "man" talking about "beating" me and KILLING me when (I assume) he thought I was sleeping. (I was in the room, he was in the living room, and you could hear very easily.) "No, no. Babe, that's not me. You know it's not. It's a demon!" Yup sure was. Except they're one in the same.

    • @stephaniemathieson9910
      @stephaniemathieson9910 2 роки тому +1

      Yes…. 🙌🏻 I don’t know why you hate me or teat me this way… after they kidnapped my newborn baby 😩

    • @essencer.9494
      @essencer.9494 2 роки тому

      @@stephaniemathieson9910 so sorry. I can't imagine

  • @kathystevens7532
    @kathystevens7532 2 роки тому +1

    When my ex said, "Everyone" I knew who that could be -- they were all Idiots. Why would that intimidate me? I babied him all our 40 years. I really got tired of babysitting him with no authority over him.

  • @Gina1809085
    @Gina1809085 3 роки тому +12

    This is spot on. I'm having a difficult time not feeling guilty about even knowing

  • @smarsh2307
    @smarsh2307 Рік тому +4

    This video helped calm me down from calling out my ex, and how he's handled bringing new people around our son. I know he's doing it to get a rise out of me, but it's heartbreaking that he's choosing others over spending time with his kid.

  • @cindysimpson7082
    @cindysimpson7082 2 роки тому +14

    Truth! I honestly could feel the energy that was being generated by my ex when I was being set up or provoked and him feeding off of it. I didn't understand what was going on at the time but now I do. I made the decision to go no contact which was the best thing I could do.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  10 місяців тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

  • @andrewmauney3082
    @andrewmauney3082 2 роки тому

    Truth. My brother constantly likes provoking me to the point that I lose it then will play victim if I retaliate then will tell his friends that I hit him but won't say that he provoked me but I never will do things to provoke him

  • @heatherpesterfield8121
    @heatherpesterfield8121 4 місяці тому

    Spot on , they need to have a supply and will create a situation, and find something that upsets or annoys you and they are like a person with a stick and they will keep poking you ,until you either ignore or until
    they get a reaction from you,and I caught one out because of the smile afterwards.
    Seems after upsetting anyone ,they seem happier and smiling while they know that you are now upset .
    They can flirt , and wait for your reaction and then say you’re a lier ,they will always play the victim.
    .

  • @alanzamora6504
    @alanzamora6504 3 роки тому +5

    Narcissism best describes the world leaders and people in prominent positions of power_ and due to the endless thirst for control and admiration and in order to quench their greed for worship_ like mindless beast will destroy_ harm and hurt anyone that does not submit to their very ill will and will disregard any intent of peaceful process_ singer Carley Simon and her song : you're so vain ( 1971 ) is a very close discription of a Narcissist ....

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +1

      Totally

    • @kathykirkham9656
      @kathykirkham9656 3 роки тому +1

      Truth. They are really super sick people, who take pleasure in tormenting others. Its a game for them. My sister is one of them, and dealing with her is like talking to a pit viper.

    • @alanzamora6504
      @alanzamora6504 3 роки тому

      @@kathykirkham9656 narcissist hold the real title of the mask_ and because they are mind voided_ are very dangerous_ they feed off the suffering of others

  • @jalinacurandera4543
    @jalinacurandera4543 3 роки тому +6

    The hardest thing is my narc really knows how to trigger me, and my hardest struggle is to not let myself be provoked.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  10 місяців тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

  • @user-uq3yt4vi7o
    @user-uq3yt4vi7o 5 місяців тому

    Truth, I am/was homeless “helped off the streets” by what I thought was a friend… unlocking the most disgusting / chaotic household I’ve ever known.
    The kids are unheard alone most of the time, the eldest 13. The mom yells through a camera system which is installed in every room. Which leaves no privacy.
    And both parents are narcissists. The man is insecure covert and the wife builds his ego while playing victim at every point.
    The wife is in her 50’s husband mid 30’s.
    Being in my 20’s. It has been the most difficult time in a while. Mentally. And ofc I’m the mental punching bag for the insecure bs games they play.

  • @PJAndersson733
    @PJAndersson733 Рік тому

    They’re sick human beings. That’s all I can say after dealing with an entire family of them. There are many different types of narcs, different characteristics but all have the SAME foundational beliefs. THEMSELVES. Everything is about them. Their needs. Their wants. Their demands. Their respect. They will project all their characteristics onto you and put all their flaws onto you. The most important advice I have is to educate yourself!!! Videos like this and others are incredibly valuable to and pertinent to interacting with them in this world. And trust me, they really are everywhere. Don’t let yourself be burned by them.

  • @craig3714
    @craig3714 3 роки тому +9

    Describing my father again he acts just like your describing !

  • @Strutingeagle
    @Strutingeagle 3 роки тому +3

    I know one who sat his 3 year old son on the counter top and said I am not your daddy anymore. He was breaking up with his wife at the time and his son was just crying his eyes out and sure enough he triggered his wife watching in horror.

  • @Robert-sn1bk
    @Robert-sn1bk 3 роки тому

    I didn’t understand at 1st when I mention I would give all and her response was that’s not enough. Then I realized she was losing her supply. Can’t wait to be set free from this marriage.

  • @shannonmckenna5017
    @shannonmckenna5017 3 роки тому +4

    I dont know why i cant bring myself to leave. Im broken. I feel sick. I watch these vids alllllll the time. It makes me sick...and here i am

    • @louiserodmore7284
      @louiserodmore7284 3 роки тому +1

      Ditto - you’re not on your own 🥰

    • @debbiefinley7827
      @debbiefinley7827 3 роки тому +1

      Small steps towards your goal... Start by distancing.

    • @shannonmckenna5017
      @shannonmckenna5017 3 роки тому

      @@debbiefinley7827 trying to..i distance. She notices. Love bomb. I feel guilty. Same ol song and dance

  • @joanbrittingham6354
    @joanbrittingham6354 3 роки тому +4

    It is the truth! Negative or positive attention.

  • @kristensmith8442
    @kristensmith8442 2 роки тому

    Mine always did things to me, to make me upset or make me cry on purpose. He never cared that he did either. They love hurting people and then turn around and fake apologize to them after that.

  • @jesusistheway5987
    @jesusistheway5987 Рік тому

    They enjoy violating someone no matter how far it gets, emotionally, physically,spiritually, financially, technology wise (hacking) yess ppl DO THT !

  • @myrajefferson3672
    @myrajefferson3672 3 роки тому +3

    Truth! I am so glad that you mentioned gift-giving! The narcissist that I know is the biggest gift giver ever, and sadly, this fools a few people in the family! Thank you your advice is priceless!

  • @virtualmomming2290
    @virtualmomming2290 3 роки тому +4

    I don’t know I think mine did it because he want ed to provoke me to say I was crazy - he had an AGENDA ... and I would freak out because there were signs he was not who he pretended to be which he clearly hid - but he would gaslight me and say I was imagining things etc etc

    • @dlyteeats3868
      @dlyteeats3868 2 роки тому

      you can always fix crazy....narcs can't be fixed sad to say.

  • @mpacino1224
    @mpacino1224 7 місяців тому

    I can't believe I am in this situation again.

  • @TaijDevon
    @TaijDevon Рік тому

    "You bore me" said dryly is a great slam on a narcissist. Then walk away.

  • @carolfcavanagh3835
    @carolfcavanagh3835 3 роки тому +4

    Yes you’re absolutely right about their wanting the Total Control!!

  • @seeing1111
    @seeing1111 3 роки тому +3

    Truth , it like they need that serotonin constantly since you put it that way really

  • @anvy1231
    @anvy1231 5 місяців тому

    This is my sister in a nutshell. My mother as well. Horrible and I wish this abuse to nobody.

  • @DBA.B8sTnTx
    @DBA.B8sTnTx Рік тому

    Truth. Hard to digest.. but that’s how it always feels…. She denies it.. lashes out and calls me crazy.. but it skyways feels intentional

  • @dominiqueogilvie3365
    @dominiqueogilvie3365 3 роки тому +8

    YES!! My ex husband for 30 years used to come looking for me in the house to start a fight. Calling me names & swearing at me (he doesn't swear...just at me), at times throwing me around & threatening to beat me to death & enjoying seeing me be upset. The odd times that l wasn't interested in defending myself from every attack coming my way, he was not pleased because he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted. But l ignored him. If ONLY l knew ALL this then, l wouldn't have let him get to me. Funny though because everyone else knows him as Mr Nice Guy. We've been divorced for 8 years now & it's BLISS. I went out with another man right after my divorce who was also controlling & narcissistic...2 years were enough. I had to learn to stand up for myself & l did. Thank God l love to be alone & l have good friends, because l'm NOT putting up with this shit again.

  • @heatherstevenson9358
    @heatherstevenson9358 2 роки тому +8

    TRUTH!!! Going on 12 years with my husband who is a complete covert narcissist!! Feel like I’m losing my mind! So toxic and emotionally abusive!!😢

  • @VODAM1
    @VODAM1 2 роки тому

    i am knowing,and it doesn't work on myself,the game is so weak and they are so jealous and have no life,it's sick,every insult they can do,is done,it's sick and tell all.

  • @angelapapadopoulos189
    @angelapapadopoulos189 2 роки тому +1

    They so want you to be reactive and lose your temper. So TRUE. I was raised by one, my brother is the GOLDEN CHILD (& a one as well) and I have a stepdaughter a malignant narcissist. They do not respect boundaries either. I have gone NO CONTACT with all of them. Giving them a chance to prove what others said was my mistake. I wanted to form my own opinion and ended up being the direct source of attack. Thankfully I have their allegations in writing and recorded. They love to use children (theirs) as weapons, smear your name & reputation. They will go to extremes to destroy your relationship with others out of pure jealousy.

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому

      Angela Papadopoulos,You look gorgeous 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!