RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH Actually,the English subtitles are terribly off and doesn’t make sense grammatically,I believe they are automatically generated..in particular,the part where the narcissist guy with the heavy accent is speaking..really hard to make out what he’s saying..Great video
Thanks for this. I think it deserves a much longer documentary. This is a very rich subject. The comment on Nazi Germany could open a serious study on humanity today, stile truthstream media. Any help for the actual npd? This focuses strongly on its prey....
Lilly Pilly, i agree with each and every word you said, may you and all who have suffered from their evil plots and schemes find peace and healing from the Lord. sending love and light to all.
Narcissists are broken people. Abuse takes a healthy child and turns them into a reflection of that abuse. Under the layers of defense mechanisms, each layer nastier than the last, is a small traumatized child. This isn't to say that you should coddle them or stay with them, just to understand that they're people too. If a narcissist seeks help they can learn to recognize their behaviors and to see them for what they are. Also, it's important to see that there are different levels to narcissism. There are borderline narcissists, and there are people like the guy in this video. Keep an eye out, protect yourself, and do not get enmeshed, but know that they aren't demons.
@Turquoise Cheetah Spew? Don't spew things you cannot prove. I have seen people recover from mental illness. Recovery is a choice and it takes dedication. It's a slow process, but one that should not be dramatized or overlooked through literal demonization.
*All of you who escaped* Listen to as many healing voices and videos as you can, that build you up and have love and creativity and beauty....only this will eventually overwrite the abuser's voice running in your head...
As a survivor of severe narcissistic abuse I honestly believe that there is no cure for narcissism. Once a damaged person CHOOSES to embrace the darkness of narcissism, there is no turning back. I realize that many people will often display narcissistic traits, but I am talking about true narcissists (NPD's), which is a heart condition and a soul/spirit condition. The best solution for dealing with these things (human imposters) is total separation or going no contact. Trying to help these people will only lead to your demise!
Just try to remember, many of these people are born, or were made. If they were made, in my Narcs case (yes I still had to Go No Contact) is that when they were small, they only had the capacity to choose for survival. My ex's mother was very abusive and spanked him until he would not cry. Child abuse is the gift that just keeps on giving in these cases, and it is utter despair. N's are like are walking dead, not people, and they don't see people. It is like people born without limbs, or a legs, and that is why there is no cure. We can have compassion and forgiveness, they cannot, who is the real winners? We really are, for the grace of god, there go I.
@@IndigoDisco My mission when I finish school is to work with women in DV situations to get free when the children are smaller, before the children are turned into walking dead people, just to clarify.
@Melissa Faye I'm so sorry to read about your ordeal. It's unimaginable that someone could be that cold, evil and call themselves a man. Your situation is much more serious than mine. You have to muster up the courage to leave, for your very own sanity. Just leave him, don't say anything, you will be ok. He is damaging you, he wants to break you down. You must get away from him! It's long overdue. He does not love anyone but himself. You have the strength within you. Pray to God, he will guide you and open a way for you, I promise. Just listen to him, you will feel the urge and thr courage. There will be a drive within, you will know when to act. Just get everything ready that you need. Don't let him become aware of what you are doing. God bless you and protect you ❤️
I believe that this should be taught in school. Warning people of these type of people because of the damage that they can cause is absolutely mind blowing.
Same. I still wonder if I will ever truly be me again. I still haven’t been with anyone since him. It’s been years since I left him after being w him for over 15 years I have ptsd and a ton of health issues that stemmed from the stress he put on me w mental emotional and physical abuse.
I’m still running away from my ex. I’m going insane. I sent this video to him while ago and now he’s accusing me of being a narcissist and send me the same things. This is definitely the worst experience I ever had.
OMG. I know, I'm about to start divorce action against an N Wife who emotionally abused me for most of my marriage, and allowed her elderly NMom and NDad to abuse me as well. She is also heavily codependent with her mother & brother and expected me to throw my life away for them too. They didn't like me standing up to them or refusing to let them control me and my wife retaliated against me harshly for speaking against her family's treatment of me. NC for 4 months and am so much healthier.
Happy Life You're right. It took me years to wake up to the reality that they were abusive. My wife's elderly NMom is thoroughly abusive to my stepdaughter as well as to me but my wife would defend her mother and tell me to put up with her behavior. It feels so much healthier not having these people around me.
Because of living with abuse from narcissistics in childhood..I suffer from being overly sensitive, depression, and anxiety. In a positive light, I have gone to the other end of the spectrum. I refuse to become bitter and selfish. 💙✌
Same here Lacy. Sadly I had to cut the chord with my Dad and Brothers because they refuse to acknowledge how they've been abusive towards me. I've finally gotten the courage to truly stand up for myself and cut them out of my life so that I can heal and move forward. Like yourself, I refuse to let anyone turn me into a bitter hateful person. I will lose the world just to have myself.
I allowed people to walk all over me for years. While it was happening, I didn't really notice it. There were times that I questioned my severe need to be nice and kind. I'm confident that is where my anxiety and depression took root. Now I'm able to (most of the time) refuse doing something, I don't want to do. I'm still learning that "I" am actually enough. These videos build confidence. They let us know. What we experienced, was in fact real. I used to think to myself, I really like who I used to be. That person is who I'm working to get back to. Take care of yourselves.
@Milton Stapler You shouldn't deny yourself the beauty of love because of a few bad apples. You're allowing them and fear to win. You have to see the patterns that you've created related to trauma bonding and make different choices. When we take the stance that we're never going to love again, we punish ourselves. It's almost like carrying around the burden of abuse when you were the victim. That angst and shame isn't yours to carry. Give yourself credit for how strong you are and how far you've come. Alot of people never get out and you've made it out. Get counseling and learn how to trust again. You deserve better but you have to allow better to come. Not everyone will hurt you and there are some genuinely good people out there. You just have to learn how to set boundaries and not give your all to the wrong people.
When he explained that they will actually become more abusive in their next relationship because they have MORE rage since their partner left them, instead of becoming more humble (like a normal human), I actually got chills. I know this is true. After you experience Narcissistic abuse, you are traumatized when you finally realize the entire relationship was a complete lie. You lived a fake life for years, and the other person never truly loved you; just wanted their supply until the next one (he had many). I could have cured cancer and it still wouldn't have been enough for him. He was, and never will be satisfied no matter who he is with. I used to tell my ex that I do not believe he ever loved anyone in his life - he was TERRIFIED to become close to anyone (and then would blame me). I feel such sadness for him that he lives such a sad, awful life inside his head. I have so much more knowledge after this experience, but I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
thanks 4 comment- I want to be glad 4 what is but the society seems to ask something else- how to tell if these narcissistic traits are there or not- and is it me or someone else- who to stop being a victim- when looking back into past it confuses and it happens that I live in imaginery world- the world kinda fell all over and now I'm quite isolated- not sure where to go- only these imaginations (what would be etc)- also tend to over-analyse but but but-
Yes !! I think the UK and France recognizes various levels of financial and psychological abuse as crime. In addition, psychologists should be instructing students high school regarding narcissistic abuse.
That was so weird that you wrote that because my sister is wealthy and I am not and every once in a while she would swoop down and proffer handouts. Because I was occasionally struggling and it for my dog, I accepted. There were always strings usually involving some form of humiliation etc. Then one day I told her I'd love to see her occasionally but was financially responsible and would not longer accept $. One week later her e-mail informed me we had a toxic relationship, I was ungrateful .... the usual drill and haven't heard from her since. Didn't know it was that easy!!!
I watched this... and I FELT this... Narc survivors are great warriors ... and we aren’t crazy... I’m so grateful and blessed to have left my Narc before it got worse... I feel for these victims who lost so much more💕
My Daughter is batteling her Narcissist ex boyfriend ,who for 17 years has Mentally and Physically Abused her, she finally left him but the scars are still there. And to make things worse she had Children from him and so now he Controls everything, even though she doesn't want Child Support, he still Threatens her to take the kids away. He sees them every other week, but it's not good enough. The kids are afraid of him but the 2 older kids stay with him out of fear. The 2 younger ones he lets my daughter see every other week, because they are too little for him to take time for. He does whatever he wants, the kids are failing in School now, it's Terrible. My Daughter has done nothing wrong, she was the care giver and did everything with the kids. Now they are out of Control, when the kids are at her place for the week, she notice how relieved they are in a normal place. He is Chaos and never home when he gets home from work he goes out and Drinks and Parties. Leaving the kids alone ,with no supervision,expects the older kids to watch the younger kids. He brainwashes the kids that he'll put them in Foster Homes if they tell anybody, like their Mom. It's Sad. I want to help, but how can I my Daughter is so Afraid of him. But yet he Harrasses her and still Controls her. He Threatens her, he has everything. My Daughter has nothing. He even has a Women Attorney that just sent her a letter, he wants Full Custody of the kids. And she doesn't know what to do. It's like she's shellshocked. I told her to get an Attorney but she tells me , Mom he will win, he always wins. My Heart is Broken for her. She doesn't Deserve this. He is so Cruel. How can I help my Daughter?
we dont live on a spinning ball and our cruel narcisistic rulers have been abusing us for 100s of years and playing sick jokes on us. all royalty are secret trans. everyone on tv is secret trans.. most people can't handle the truth
Mlcblog Media absolute true!!!!!! People think I am mad because he is so nice... thank god that I have a friend which I talked to since the beginning and when I actually found out he was very narcissistic I made a mindmap of all he said and my friend recognised all of it.
RVS I hear you..I'm always triggered.. ( I hate that word..lol) ..it's been 2 years later..have trouble sleeping..when sleeping.. the nightmares bring it all back. Desperately want to move on..and not think of myself as a victim..but a survivor
i’m 4yrs out. i feel like i’m finally less depressed, anxious and traumatized but i still haven’t been able to bring myself to start dating again. devastating that i lost my best yrs to him and that finally got away but now i’m battling debilitating health issues. you’re not alone ❤️ we will heal!
@Turquoise CheetahI feel your pain, me too This is what is so sad. Kids are not better for us staying with abuse for their benefit. We need to go far and fast with our kids. Needs to be no contact for our safety. No joke
"they could be paying you a compliment but somehow you feel threatened, they could be doing something for you but you feel ripped off" ; thank you immensely for saying this. I thought I was crazy. So many times I tried therapy and went to doctors and was told it was all my fault. It was only when I started learning about narcissistic abuse that I began to understand what was being done to me. It's so sad and disappointing that so many mental health "professionals" are so ignorant about this.
If you're not giving them adoration while they put you to the side for more important things like hobbies.. theyll get new supply and punish you. Your job is to sexually satisfy them.. and that's never enough.. to take a bk seat to their hobbies.. to never confront them when they're clearly talking to another woman.. to never have any goals or dreams( their dreams are the only ones). Never require them to do anything.. you're to wait on them hand and foot and work full time.. oh.. and raise the kids alone while they pursue new supply
I know i have been a project for one of them for years especially since my ex partner and i bought a house they didnt want me to keep, even though tbey told us to buy it.
I didn't leave the abusive relationship. I was dropped for someone else. Indescribable pain, I blamed myself for far too long. I was mentally abused and sexually assaulted by this person, but I still blamed myself. It pains me to know that others experience this or worse. I feel grateful that I've finally acknowledged that it wasn't my fault... now I look at her and feel... pity. She's living her life in a shallow state, and I doubt that will change anytime soon. To anyone reading this, you are worth a lot more than you think.
"Healing is difficult, abusing people is easy". Yes. I went from abused child, to abusive teenager and adult, to beginning the journey towards healing and recovering from my Narcissism. I've been working on healing for the past 10 years. Even now, my anger boils under my skin and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from verbally castrating people who upset me. I ruminate for ages afterwards, criticising myself for not putting them in their place. My ego is so fragile that even a misplaced emoji can drive me into a fury. I have empathy, so I don't have NPD, just narcissistic traits, so for me it feels like my narcissism and empathy are fighting inside me like the old two wolves metaphor. I'm doing my best to feed the empathy and not the other wolf.
"[Narcissists are] like psychological ninjas trying to dodge the laser beams of responsibility"... Holy shit! I have NEVER heard it described so accurately! Brilliant!!
How can we legally put these bastards away for good? I understand being a Narc isn't a crime but destroying someone psychologically should be of some evidence in court that it's 100% abuse and there should be repercussions. They ruin lives. Some legislation or law needs to be passed. It is a MUST!✍
You didn't get it. Not all assholes are abusers. An NPD person is a psychopath that feeds on afflicting abuse (by definition: treat a person with cruelty or violence, either physically or psychologically, especially regularly or repeatedly). ABUSE (no matter its form) should NEVER be allowed. That's why I agree with Mel Marin: laws have to change. To my knowledge, physical abuse is the only form of abuse recognized by law. We need to include the other forms of abuse, which are the bast majority.
I think the better solution is for people to wake up to reality and critical thinking. Once an individual can identify the signs of narcissistic behavior, they have to make the choice to walk away. Self love and strong boundaries are the best weapons against narcissism.
Look, we can't start sending people to jail because they broke our hearts. I can understand in cases of physical abuse, of course there needs to be repercussions. But we can not lock people up because they hurt our feelings or lead us on. That is not the path to creating normal functioning adults. We are accountable for our own actions (with exceptions obviously). It's tough, I understand that. I have dealt with people with undiagnosed personality disorders before (boss, ex's and family) and am in the process of healing but I've realized that I can choose to give my power away or not and I wouldn't have learned this or how to set boundaries if I focused on locking them up.
We aren't talking about heart breakers, liars, or cheaters or selfish asholes (though these can be narcissistic behaviours), we are talking about people who systematically destroy another's sense of reality and self for their own edification... to the point where you are broken or suicidal or cannot function in society anymore. That is far, far more damaging than violence. Sadly it seems that society is bent on providing the environment for young people to develop this way.
Im in a narcissistic abusive relationship, I've been diagnosed with depression, aniexty and ptsd. Im just turned 21 he is 28, this man has completely destroyed me. I don't know who I am anymore and the worst part is I have a child with him.
You're only 21, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make the same mistake I did by staying with him, no matter what you think, your child is better off without him! They don't change for the better, they continue to get worse and the older they get, the more they abuse you
I've been no contact for 9 months..they both, my wife and the son are malignant narcs..after 2 yrs it got worse..with research and Quora I concluded something else emotional incest...a double whammy,,..it was so surreal, it was the absolute nightmare that became the Stephen King novel that never got written...Just run...and in retro..I see now that they are cowards I only live 6 miles away from their house...now they never come to the town I live in..they travel 10 extra miles to do their shopping...Good luck and God will be with you(us)
I'm looking back, and I'm going back. With a f.........g law suit called " INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS" F.......k him. I want Justice!!!!!!
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
I did this with my abusive family as an adult. It took me 34 years but now that they are gone, I feel so much peace. It's so positively different than before. I didn't know what life could be like without the abuse. Freedom!!!
I"m a therapist working with men and women who are trying to recover from Narcissistic Abuse. Your work and Sam's is invaluable for those wanting to understand this form of abuse. Great work!
@Teela Tequila they will never change. There is No cure, no treatment, no medication. They become worse over time. Worse, to the point of physical abuse, maybe murder but in a way where they are not obviously at fault. Very calculating. Very Secretive. Always LIARS.
Also - please watch Dr. Carter & Dr. Ramani. Both on UA-cam - both with decades of Clinical experience & an incredible understanding of all facets & types of Narcassism & Narcassistic behaviors.
The pain of the invisible and visible abuse was relentless. I thought I could reason with the person(s). I was wrong! I hurt myself so much with my own malignant optimism. Thank you for your work. Very Very well done. Sharing!
Yes yes! Malignant optimism is a great term.What that says is "THIS is my problem , and I am responsible for it. " It shakes off that victim mentality . Bravo!
I kept praying, fasting, believing, do the right thing no matter what trying anything I could ,being supportive trusting God. Failing to realize that I was married to a heartless, angry demon.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
The clinical narcissist is only so open about himself because it’s giving him attention and makes him feel so powerful. You can see it on his face how he feels prideful even though he’s admitting
@Soul's Anchor Tarot Agreed. His need to brag and self inflate (regardless the motivation) has yielded the rest of us a glimpse beyond what any standard text can offer.
I don't believe him when he says he has no emotions though .... He is married I think as well or in a long term relationship I bet if something happened to his paramore he would elicit emotions
& Degrading. They take Away Your Life, Without Actually Taking Your LIFE PHYSICALLY. They Leave No Suspicious, Visible, Clear EVIDENCE of Abuse. & Most people around me didn't Know Anything about This ( EVIL ) TYPE of ABUSE. I felt Really ALONE 😔
And it makes you wonder if you'll ever recover. My abusive parents, narc dad, had battered down my self worth for so long, even making me verbally repeat out loud that "I'm nothing, I'm nobody", even though I've broken contact, I'm struggling to build my self worth. But I feel like that damage is so ingrained, it feels permanent
People, if someone you have only known for a short period of time lies to you and tries to explain it away as a mistake, they forgot or whatever lame excuse they have, run. No matter how perfect they seem to be. Run quickly and never look back. This small amount of advice would have saved me from 27 years of emotional, mental, sexual, and financial abuse.
Yes, my ex was the biggest liar. His mom and step mom even admitted to me it was a problem. I should have turned and ran in the first year after I found out about his lies. I also think that this has made me a better person, now that I’m unpacking all of it, reading back on my journals. I can see his abuse clearly now and I won’t make the same mistake again. I learned and grew. But it would be nice to help warn others so they don’t have to go through it for over a decade like I did.
It is so heartbreaking how much genuine love I poured into him. He couldn’t take it in. He showed me contempt. He swears he loves me. I’m sure he loves all his other girlfriends too! He was a serial cheater and would constantly accuse me of doing what he was doing! Leave. And, love yourself!
Good for you. People like you, speaking up about their lives. Helps other people, including myself. Based on your specific comment. I'm starting to feel something positive about all of this. Thank you
I had to look at your name, I wondered if I wrote this. PAINFUL AND MOST CRUEL. He Planned on retirement, stole my money, traveled, had affairs, lied, Betrayed in every way. I am past the age to recover financially. He searched out and got a wealthy widow.
it's funny, but not funny, but I noticed my physical being is affected when they are near, my heart races in my throat for no reason, but I guess their is a reason, great job! Protect yourself. =)
This video is so accurate. Sad and scary to have survived a narcsisitc relationship, but now I am lost, paralyzed, depressed and feel stripped of my joy and direction in life. These narcsisist are monsters and vampires.
They take a piece of you without you even realizing & it’s really awful. If you see someone doing well on their own & you’re not ready to add to their life wholeheartedly than leave them the fuck alone‼️
It takes ages to get through it,no one who hasn't been through it can understand but you get less tearful as the years go on,I think anger is my main for tay these days,not great but better than crying everyday for lost hopes dreams etc,employment has been my hardest hurdle as a single parent with little help. Someone said to me that I'm organised and done well but they dont see how much it took just to survive,narcs are horrible and there are many of them and many who lack empathy and morality too so its easy for these narcs to get away for ages with the abuse. God sees
@@karriesaunders8597 Hi Karrie, Thank you for your reply. It's been a year since I left that comment and thank goodness, I am doing great now. I am not interested in a relationship, but am very happy alone. I never thought the sun would shine again, because I was so stripped of my essence, but the sun came out for me and I am grateful beyond words that I didn't give up. I hope you get good work soon. May God bless you and your kids.,❤️
Put raw eggs in his closets....inside of hoodies and pockets. Just let them rot. Trust me. Yes. You must be gone and the relationship over, do the egg thing, and walk on.
I had a narcissist Father. I haven't spoken to him in 7 years and it has been a peaceful 7 years. Hearing this video says "cut all communication off now" it hurts hearing it. I know it is the right thing, I know I have no choice. But it hurts because I love my Dad, and I wish in this world we could have had a normal relationship. I miss him. And I mourn the Dad I could have had if he had been given a normal childhood. This is the second parent I have lost before they have actually died. One to addiction, and the other to NPD. It's painful.
My mom was a narcissist I should have went no contact but couldn't. She was jealous and envious of me and hated me with contempt. Recently she died, the sad part is to the very end she remained the same. My sister who lived with her became her and thought she'd continue the process of abuse after the death of our mother. I stood up for myself and have gone no contact, and it feels great.
I’m confused, you say you haven’t spoken to your dad but don’t want to cut off communication. I guess you mean emails, cards etc. Yes to finalise and cut everything off must be very very hard. But you must protect yourself if he’s still hurting you badly. Hope the situation improves for you
If Nice Daddy was real then Horrible Daddy would never appear. The Nice Daddy you thought you loved was just a puppet show presented by Horrible Daddy to keep you loyal. There is no "Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde". There is only Mr Hyde.
Thank you for this. You don't realize until you've fallen victim (in love) with someone with NPD. But when you finally get out of it - whether they dumped you or you break it off with them - you realize that they've been setting you up for it the whole time and have already gotten many people to think you're the crazy and abusive one. So that when you speak out, no one listens. Also, just as they made you think they were wonderful, until you got close enough to see the mask drop, they have everyone else under the same spell...and those people rarely if ever see the mask drop because they're not around enough. So, this kind of video is important - because many people don't have someone else who has had this experience to turn to afterwards for support. People who haven't experienced a narcissist or sociopath in a relationship will just say "you need to get past this" or "just get over it" with no idea what trauma you've experienced.
@@thaistomp They are fully human. Humanity is capable of horrible things, both on an individual and group basis. You do not have to look very far through history to see that. It's tempting to relegate sociopaths and NPDs to an otherworldly plane, that is almost comfortable, compared to the idea that human beings can be configured this way.
@@joed180 You would be devasted to know that I am a front line soldier in Christ, there IS a war on, it IS being FOUGHT! Pick up yourself and carry your cross! Trudge for TRUTH, FORGIVENESS AND L...O...V...E...
Add your family that is on his side and you want to die. I honestly believe they wantwd me to commit the unthinkable. I would not wish this treatment on anyone.
Narcissistic partners are bad, but narcissistic parents are worse. Just not having the ability to leave the situation, and that abuse being the norm is just so hard and I hate to see people go through it.
I had to decide to try and stay and referre for my children (qnd take the brunt) or leave and leave them exposed during his time. I realized I'd never break the ysle if I stayed, IF i survived. I am out and teaching my children to respect others, to care and empathize qnd give them a voice at least when they are here. It's tricky at times because they are learning his traits and coping. I can only hope I help them 🙏 qnd as they get older I'll introduce them more and more to tactics people do to manipulate... but not in a way to alienate them from him but to empower and give them better skills.
14:03 Prolonged contact will make you go insane.. that is exactly what it feels like. Exactly!! My mother is a narcissist and always targeted me. Later, in my adult life, I entered multiple narcissistic relationships. They just smell it. All the talking, discussing, the pleading: without any effect. The gaslighting, don’t get me started! I could hear myself jelling and screaming, going all crazy at her. She just sat there, enjoying it. I left. Best decision ever. Update: I found out my mother has a borderline personality disorder with narcissistic treats. But it overlaps each other I think. Knowing this did help me (us in a way) to deal with her behavior, the last year. I feel sorry for her emotional imbalance and insecurity. But I can’t forget how she used this as an excuse to target me all those years. Everyday you can make a decision how to live that one in a new way. But maybe she has less freedom of choice… and that is sad.
The society should get awareness that a narc parent is a terrible sentence to pain for a child. Nobody seems to care about this ruth of evil. I’d be curious how a bunch of narcs would get along if left together on an empty island.
During our last argument I asked narc "Why would you want to be with someone who no longer loves you?" he replied "That's not of your concern, MY concern is that I really love you and you need to get better" implying that I was too mentally ill to make decisions without his input.
OMG my ex always used to say those exact words!! Thank you for sharing your comment. It’s like he was on an endless mission to force me into his delusion, and it worked. It’s like we have to completely lose our minds and sanity in order to wake up. 😔
E N sounds familiar. When I left a narcissist decades ago he was saying your not well mentally. You must be suffering post natal depression. Just admit to yourself your not thinking clearly and are crazy. Write it down and send it to me in a letter. They must think we are stupid. I did write him a letter but I said I left you because you are a violent abuse pig , he couldn’t use that in court to try and get custody.
Wow! I left my ex after living together for a year. Took a plane from sydney didnt even say goodbye. Out situation wasnt that bad, but he would never apologize, and accept my feelings and felt skmething is not OK. Anyways since then we emailed and he woukd never apologize, keep saying, admit that you left because you have issues!!! He keeps going around and telling people i need to find myself and i am troubled! Wtf🤔
A narcissist has no soul therefore no love,empathy etc etc. We end up with the burden of all the pain and fear etc that they should of had. No wonder we crack under the pressure when we are in effect carrying two peoples negative weight and not just our own.
They are far away from their centers, their souls. Every human life is a soul. Like a car needs a driver, a body needs a consciousness. However some souls are sleeping and damaged or disregulated.
True, I had a narcissist friend who was a total peice of shit. He raped girls. Used people. Did all sorts of awful things. I hated the guy, I was just using him for drug contacts. But he got drunk one night and just started crying in my arms saying hes such a horrible person and hates that he destroys people but cant stop. And just freaking out. Then out of nowhere he just snapped back to his usual self like nothing even happened. He denied he even cried. It was a crack in their weak ass armor. They're the most truly pathetic people on earth.
And they telling some part of truth, they still adding lies. When another times same subject come up in like chit-chat ( without gossip they can't live) they say different. When you say "you remember we had drink 🍸 in that-this bar at that time you said like this like that" they tell you "you got wrong or i didn't mean that way or I never said that or you remembering wrong. In time my ex narc wife did stop drinking with me.
omy lord ..this is heartbreaking ..I fell deeply in love with a bipolar narrcicist ..he abused me manipulated me controlled me and broke my heart and soul..I'm a empath and codepandant that believes in true love and am very verbal about love anf emotions and my feelings drove him even madder..I finally let go of him..I was decieved by him from the beginning ..I was fooled in to believing he was my soulmate..I'm still trying to get over the pain and heal .this video is eye opening..I pray no one has to go through what I went through with him..
solae lee The lovebombing stage in the beginning they mirror you. Narcsissit are empty soulless and I believe it is a spirtual war by demons/satan to get rid of GODS children. Satan's time is short. Blessings
Sam's lack of emotions and directness about how he actually "feels or acts" reminds me so much of my ex narc husband. He did everything he could to emotionally hurt me, consistently pushing buttons, talking about and hurting me when it came to my family whom i love more than anything - what made it even worse, was that he was also an alcoholic....Healing is a long road, but i know i will never ever settle for someone like that again - eventually i will open my heart again, but when i do - i will no longer allow anyone to treat me so poorly - I AM ENOUGH!
I am very impressed that Richard Grannon and Sam Vaknin came together to work on this documentary. This was well done and could have gone much deeper in order to explain the extent of the emotional disconnect that exists between narcs and the people they target for their fix. I think Sam Vaknin does great explaining the perspective from inside the narc mind. I've often thought that many people grow up, molded to become monsters from the inside, and it is up to us/them (sometimes I think I'm a narc because I've had to survive them) to simply practice compassionate emotions -- precisely what was lacking in the early emotional environmental via the caregivers' repertoire with their child, and then repeatedly throughout the lifespan. We could have a great planet if people could have permission to say, as they become adults, "I need more time to work on being human before I go out into the population to attract a mate and produce children. I know I have this darkness within me and I need to spend time learning to generate my own light before attaching and ultimately wounding a person I know I ultimately want to love".
It's called a narcissistic injury. You will be punished for example silent treatment, stonewalling, gaslighting, smear campaign against you etc..... My first introduction to a Narc was my EVIL mother. I didn't know she was a Narc until way later into my adulthood. I always knew something wasn't normal. She had No empathy. There was drama, chaos, Night raids, physical, emotional abuse, rage was always in the household etc............. I was a Miserable child with severe depression and eating disorder. This creature stole my childhood away from me and my siblings. Narcs are future faking, crazy making, hollow, robotic machines. l haven't spoken to her in 9 years. NO CONTACT FOREVER!!!🍾
and Yvonce, lol are you sure you are not talking about an evil entity posing as a a lil old lady from the slightly upstate NY area LOL. the old freak still breathes. but literally killed off her husband and my sister who were desperate for help. I cannot even imagine what fate awaits her when she finally puffs out of this life. .. NC forever - and for those of you in early stages, I started out with LC. As long as you give NO INFO keep any responses extremely short. and NOTHING personal whatsoever, answer NO QUESTIONS.. and DO NOT ENGAE when they try and argue, attack or rage, simply walk away, do not even let your voicebox utter even a sound, give nothing on your face that shows sadness or pain. they feed off this. KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY. I only got back in contact to attend the funerals. Still get texts ugh, but NC is the best route for healing from sociopath of a mother. She more than once put me in physical danger as well...
hugs D Rider....hey if you do want to make chit chat here and there...Im a good listener, ha at least I have that ;) Yvonce, etc. I am fairly low profile online now since she tried stalking my social media in an attempt to feed off my child for further supply, seems funerals proved to be a huge loss for her - NOT in the way for us normals, neurotypicals experience REAL authentic loss, the lack of tears or grief was a huge identifier. bless you in your journey
I spent the entire time crying over this documentary. I went through 12 years of narcissistic abuse, was dumped for new narcissistic supply over night and lost all that I had. I got help from a psychokinesiologist but I am still traumatised. Thanks for bringing this topic up.
i did to. i feel for you...mine was 20 years, i ended up in a mental hospital and im about to lose everything..... i am not healed in anyway yet, i wasn't mentally ill in any way, now i am and have lost all my friends and have little family or support, most people would say one of two things to me all the time, "your the happiest person we ever met" and "you are always smiling" its so impossibly hard
Ann Katheryn, my son and I also have had help with the Emotion Code, kinesiology. Trapped emotions are released. An amazing technique so ww can move forward.
@@brianjcpierson8534 i don’t know your story or any diagnosis, but based off what you’re sharing- you are not mentally ill. You’re hurt and trying to deal with the trauma. The fact that people see you as so happy and smiling is a good thing. Sure, you’re in pain and hiding that but you’re also so very much resilient. I’m proud of you. You could lose your partner, your belongings, your job but your soul you can never lose. And I pray that you find your way back to it. Listen to your intuition. You’re greater than any of your experiences. Love and light to you 💞
He is Sam Vaknin-a very famous professor who is now able to help victims and not hurt them. He’s done more to help victims of narcissist abuse than perhaps any other person.
Or he is pretending and saying exactly what we want to hear. We all wish narcissists to admit wrong so he is the hero of narcissists and getting his supply.
I have a hard time believing this guy is a true narcissist. Never have I ever met a narcissist with such clear insight to their own behavior, and so eloquently expressed verbally by himself.
My therapist admitted he was a narcissist. At first he gave me pointers to get thru my divorce but then I realized my sessions we're only to make him feel empowered lol...but some do realize it logically.
Narcissists r useless people they hurt and degrade others. I saw my parents abnormal behaviour right from my childhoods. They never appreciated me in any good work day. They think they r superior to others.they often boasted about themselvs
This makes so much sense Thank you ... I have spent the last few years of my life being loved & discarded ... trying time & time again to make it up & apologise , being told my X’s friends hated me .. being spoken about behind my back, gossiped about by my X about personal matters ... I should have been grateful apparently that I had to wait for hours on end ... grateful that I should be screamed at and called a c**t ... I had enough , never in my life have I ever known anything like it .. I’ve been rejected discarded called all the names under the sun & some ... I’ve been called a psychopath , a narcissist , told I have bipolar disorder, all sorts ... it nearly destroyed me ... I don’t know how someone can say they love you one day & they hate you & walk out the next .... I would like to understand stand how the love of my life turned into the worst nightmare. I ever had ! 😔
Your story sounds exactly like mine. The gossiping, the gaslighting, and the discard.. it really hurts. Especially when you have invested years into this person who could treat you so callously.
Omg!! Thankyou for this video! I lived with an NPD for 17yrs! He was nice at the beginning but as soon as I got pregnant he changed. I was beaten, raped & every other abuse that you can think of that at the time, I didn’t know was abuse! I thought it was normal, I thought I could make him better again. I eventually got out barely with my life after having 3 boys with him. I could never leave, he would threaten to hunt me down & kill me. If I tried to leave I was beaten, one time I managed to get up the road & he tried to knock me down with his car. I’ve been kicked out of the car on the motorway just all sorts these examples don’t even scratch the surface of the daily hell I lived through, I actually thought I was going insane, I thought there was something wrong with me!. He still had some power over me years later when I was with my husband now, he still managed to hurt me in regards to my youngest son. I’ve been with my 2nd husband 16yrs & he’s my angel here on earth. “The evil one!” (As I call him or ‘dickhead’😂hasn’t changed, and he never got help he never will because he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him, it’s everyone else! I’ve been able to not have any contact for over a decade but I still have nightmares & I still have internal scars. I was so near to being killed hundreds of times & it’ll never go away but I’m a survivor & I want to help others become survivors, I just don’t know how. I thought I would write a book, I will at some stage. If my words help one other person to be a survivor, my job will be done!
@@wansangoh4951 Thank You 🙏🏻 I hope to one day help as many people as I can through my words. I’m just not sure how to start but I’m willing to & that’s the first step. Bless you x
Hey guys thanks for watching, please share this, we are trying to get the word out about the truth of narcissistic abuse. Any suggestions as to how we can do that?
Hello richard, I don't know how to contact you. I have story you might be interested in and hopefully I can share it to you. It is weird how I made the video and the content of the story but it is what I was feeling at the moment so I did not change the way i express things in the video I made, pls. check it out. I am starting to think I am going to have NPD. There are things I cannot express as well. I've been watching your videos and it is what helped me understand narcissism it also helped me get through rough times. Right now things have start to transpire and it seem to affect people around me. I hope you notice this message. I believe I can help with my get your story out there because I think my story is quite rare and a whole town and belief system is involved. there is a scheme involved or a system designed to destroy another person. A normal person can follow it and destroy another person, I think the origin of this action turned into a belief is made by a narcissistic psychopath.
Thank you for bringing attention to invisible abuse. It will be wonderful when people can be held accountable for what are essentially the looms of crime themselves and place the proper perpetrators behind bars, (or some form of recidivism) This is "evolution."
"...then he stared rejecting me sexually" "i have no home because he promised me ....you are gonna get it with me" I just cant stop crying... "he ruined my life"
No! Get your life back one step at a time..take small steps and giant leaps...push thoughts of him out consciously every single day until he has faded..
@@LivingInKerala you're most welcome...I've eradicated the narc since October. Now the only time he comes to mind is when I think of his trial in July for assault towards me and his 'tag' electronic device attached to his leg until then. Bye narc. You will be like me...don't look back..all of u are worth much much more.
iv been someone's narcissistic supply. ..until I found out what narcissism was/is...and im glad it did. ..went no contact and that's how it's staying forever! !!
Great advice, Richard, I totally cut off contact with exnarc and even most of his friends and my life improved beyond my wildest dreams. There's no point in thinking about revenge, the worst possible revenge is that he is who he is- a joyless, loveless, hungry vampire constantly desperate for supply. I cannot imagine a worse punishment.
Thank you so much for this. I'm at a period in my life where I am dealing with having been abandoned by family who went along with my narcissist abuser (my mother), because I did the unthinkable in the narcissist's mind - I publicly came out about her abuse and what she was. I seriously felt something in me crack when you called them "angry gods" - that's precisely what my mom was, an angry god I had to appease or else she'd attack me. I'm dealing with trying to explain to my now boyfriend why I can't get past the fact that he abandoned me at the time I was doing this and how trust is a big deal with me now, because following my narcissist mom, I had narcissist partners who also eroded my trust. I'm a recovering codependent.
I had TWO narcissistic parents and then a whole family full of them. It set me up for a lifetime of being battered brutally in every way possible. I’ve lost an eye, been in a wheelchair from extreme mental trauma (conversion disorder), been in atrocious living situations, jobs, with a alcoholic, sociopathic partner and more. It got me living in mental institutions and E.R.’s from constant suicide attempts. I was always an empath and I wouldn’t want to be a narcissist for anything. To inflict that much harm and pain on another living being is unthinkable to me. I still hope that they are somehow paid back for what they do to others. Ideally they should not be allowed to live in society and confined to mental institutions or jails.
At 7:43, I gain huge satisfaction knowing that me cutting her off & deleting/blocking her on all forms of social media & out of my life without notice has pissed her off & as I thought would have her sitting there thinking, "How dare that peasant/prick has walked away from me. I'm the best he'll ever have, he obviously never cared for me, blah blah blah". Thankful that I only put up with her rollercoaster treatment of narcissistic abuse for just 9 months or so. Pure evil. These videos are helping me so much, keep up the good work!
It was ABBA that delivered me from a death wish lifestyle bcuz of being a NPD victim. The Scriptures refer to it as Insolent Pride. I had never hear of NPD until well after I was victimized for about 5 yrs....it took ABBA YAHUAH (god) to lead me out & I'm still healing. ..mostly bcuz like my grand babe's. ...I can't totally avoid the NPD...She's married to my son! Plz pray for me & my family! Ty & SHALOM!
@@lucygoose6237 Amen! BARUCH HASHEM! I Went InTo This Marriage Broken AlReady Tho Abba Had Healed me Of A Lot I Was Then Broken Down Even More Thru This Systematic Abuse But Then Abba Started Taking me Step By Step Thru Some Deeper Healing Still In The Situation But I Am Now Fully Aware An unMoved Most Of The Time By The Garbage It Feels Good To Be Whole! Shalom!
"by force or by guile you will play this game with me" THIS! When you realize that this is the narc's game (of abuse and destruction), it's time to pack up and never look back.
But supply isn't just attention as Vaknin claims. It comes in many other forms, e.g. the feeling of satisfaction they obtain from verifying that they can emotionally manipulate you.
Three months of day and night research on NPD and sociopathy made me finally somehow understand these twisted individuals and what happened to me. Somehow grateful for the last one, who ruined my life and my sons life which force me to do this research and understand the cycle of abuse, used to being a supply since birth. Proud to say I am a survivor. My son saved my life many times. I now hope to someday win the battle of healing to be able to save his life. This shit is inhumane. Thankful to have found two survivors closeby. We each fight our own war but we understand eachother and that is a crucial thing. Nobody who hasnt been through this can possibly understand. How many times I tried and got answers like 'u have chosen this' or 'u should've known', 'just forget it and move on', etc. You dont make choices when it comes to traumabonding, you dont expect people living their life in a secondary created new self, you dont just forget one who has broken everything you ever believed in, crushed everything you ever stood for and sucked your soul out of you. Awareness is needed. Nowadays society breeds these people. Help (in my area at least) is very hard to find. People have no-fucking-clue. This vid and NPD traits, examples of gaslighting/conditioning/lovebombing-discarding/traumabond/blameshifting/... should be force fed to youngsters in school.
Painful to watch, because it is so true. I was raised by a narcissist who enjoyed beating me and neglecting me, then married a narcissist. Because of my long-term childhood traumas, I thought the abuse I received in my marriage was just par for the course, because it was I who was evil. That my wedding night was rape, that he slapped me across the face the second day we were married, then demanded absolutely obedience on the third day all made sense to me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong with me, because I am an intelligent, kind, empathic, and shy bookworm, who would never deliberately hurt anyone. I just knew I was bad, though I couldn't figure out why. Now at age 74, thanks to therapy and youtubes as painful as this, I finally have the full picture. Narcissist or not, my gratitude to Sam Vaknin.
I've dealt with people who are narcissists my entire life and it has hurt me Greatly... I have gone to a lifetime of energy Healing, therapies of all kinds. It wasn't until I finally learned how to see narcissists almost immediately that I felt at least a little bit of safety and confidence on this planet!
Around 4:23, "They're really wonderful in the beginning." That's exactly how he was. After a while his behavior started to change. I wasn't so perfect in his eyes. That creeped me out, so I sent an email to him stating we shouldn't keep seeing each other. He responded as if no more contact was his idea.
I very much admire Sam Vaknin for what he does. He must be a very intelligent man to actually be able to not only identify this situation but also seek his supply in a fashion that actually gives back some good. Some of what he says is extraordinarily self-aware for a narcissist. I know people have this knee-jerk reaction to him, disliking him at the get-go, and I was taken aback at first, about 4 years ago when I first watched that BBC documentary with him, and I first realized what was happening to me. But I truly believe that in his own way, he really is trying to help. I mean, seriously, he called narcissists a mistake, that's not something you'd expect to hear from one. I would absolutely love to see the whole documentary when it comes out. Thank you Richard (and everybody else) for this.
After 28 years finally had a psychotic break and he’s still here but I got help and I became more ashamed than ever I had thought I deserved it. He’s still abusing but I don’t engage. I’m waiting for a miracle. Just grateful that I’m still here and healing. I want to thank you for exposing the truth of narcissism. We all deserve better. This should be taught in mental health classes in junior and senior high. I feel chewed up and spit out by this. There’s always light we may have cracked but it lets the light in. Stay safe and get back to peaceful life 🕊
This is beautifully well done. So happy for you, Richard! Proud to be a subscriber and a listener. You are a true mentor to me. These videos help me to get through life every single day. I live with one and have been destabilized to the point of financial dependency on this individual. My life has been ripped apart on purpose. Thank you, Richard. I have love in my heart for you.
I could not agree more. I believe there are no coincidences... When I came across his videos he validated exactly what I already knew. He just nailed it! Since then my life has grown by leaps & bounds. I'm learning to take care of me now. It's ok to be me. He has saved my life & given me the courage to go "No Contact" with my parents. I no longer am my mothers victim nor will my son ever feel the way I did as a child. Thank you Richard for putting a name onto what I've experienced since birth. Hugs to you my friend!
Hope Sherman I'm trying. 2yrs no contact & I look back at pictures where I was happy. I wonder if I'll ever get there again. They've stolen a chunk of who I am. It's my turn to figure out who this shell is now. I suffer from somatic symptoms. That's led to addiction. I'm sober. Sometimes I wonder is this worth it? My head says YES! & while I grieve (never learned how... mom gave me Xanax at 10 @ my aunts funeral) for 2 people who "moved to this state for me" Yea right! Are now moving! My life was full of triangulation & double binds. Richard is so right when he says "We are left with their voices playing over & over again. They go on... We're left a shell. I'll get through this. As you can tell some days are better than others. I'm 44 fn yrs old! I have no concept of looking in the future. I live day to day. They kept me so sheltered.... They won't win!!
I just got out of a malignant narcissistic relationship. I was nearly becoming mentally disturbed and financially and emotionally bankrupt. Thanks God Almighty my family ,colleague and friends support me
They are unable to love. They can only mimic at best. Mine I felt was trying to kill me as well. Several times I thought he was poisoning me while married. Trying to divorce him was pure hell. We had a check together...and 6 years later still afraid of his power to control me.
I extremely enjoyed this video, 3 months out of a narcissistic relationship and yes like the woman in the video my life has been almost completely destroyed. At the age of 58, and being retired for 7 years I am seeking full-time employment to recover from the financial distruction this man has left me in. I do have a great support system, and actually am excited to move forward with the next chapter of my life, but I learned a lesson that will never be forgotten. I still have a lot of healing to do from this experience, but videos like the one I just viewed are helping me along my path. Thanks Again
Thank you I needed this today I cried like a baby. I spent ten years with one and lost my life became a hardcore drug addict and I am just now finally crawling back out of the mud a year with no contact.
Sam Vaknin is unusual inasmuch as he's brutally honest about his narcissism and takes ownership of it, which much be difficult for those who must be "perfect." I salute him for that. Most with NPD refuse to admit there's anything wrong with them, it's everybody else. 17 years have gone by since I cut off the supply and left my ex, taking with me our three small children, and I can now pity those with this condition because they are so horribly broken. These people will never feel the real emotions of love and comfort and compassion, which are what make life worth living. My ex is alone and pathetic and his adult children want nothing to do with him. This is a beautiful, sad and particularly insightful documentary.
True Narcissists are not aware in the real hard sense that they are narcissistic and will meet any attempt to tell them so with 'contempt' 'anger' or treat the suggestion with a roar of fake laughter. What makes this abuse painful is battling with people who miss an emotional chip in their brains.
Thank you, Richard. I've known this at an instinctual level, since childhood, that narcissism is a fearful, lonely place for the person who lives inside of it. What I didn't know is that my love for my sick father would NEVER help him. The same for any person who reminds me of him. As my mind heals, after decades of trauma - familial home and subsequent relationships - I recognize that I became "less than" I am, in order to appease every narcissist in my life. While I take responsibility for my part in my adult relationships, I recognize that I was "set up" by the original narcissist and my appeasing mother. Your documentary brought up deep sadness for any narcissist, and a deeper sadness for SELF, considering what each part of the relationship has experienced to get to this place of knowledge and understanding. I'm grateful for my healing. I remain sad for the pain (and rage/deep sadness) within each narcissist. I've paid my dues. Moving on!
Thank you so much for being a voice for us who have been subjected to this kind of cruelty. I have suffered severe NAVS since my early teens and its been a rough journey. I have now finally come to understand what its all about and Iam looking forward to a bright future living my life free from the heavy weight that this silent and totally detremental abuse has caused me. Thank you again
I see the narcissist as a weak-minded insecure human being that has an ego with an inferiority complex. The ones that were a couple years older they would pick on me when I was Young. But when I got older you realize there nobody's and then you smack them around a little bit and they cry like babies
I wish someone would smack my husband around, because I can't, he's 3 times bigger than me. ...and the pain he's put me through, physical and emotional is unmeasurable.
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Very well done, Richard. Good stuff. I watched your videos for 3 years and it saved me. I am still with my narcissist, he has not changed at all, unless you count he sometimes doesn't even care that I don't believe him. But staying helped me work through a lot of my issues, and now, he can't gaslight me. I always know what he's doing. He thinks I'm still in the dark, but that is because he's a narcissist. He never, speaks out of the way to me, he's never been physically abusive, not even slightly. There might be real danger if I did decide to leave, but, thanks to you, I have my feet back under me, and I have most of my confidence back. I had to work through a lot, but I am much stronger now, than I have ever been. Gotta hit bottom before you can bounce back up..
I can't thank you enough for the work you do. I've recently ended a relationship with a covert narcissist and your videos have been what has gotten me through the worst times. Sometimes I still feel like contacting him, but I play one of your videos instead. Your no bullshit approach mixed with humour makes it easier to connect with. I don't bother trying to explain the abuse anymore, I just get strange looks, but I feel safe with your videos. Some nights have been so hard I've slept with them on auto-play. So again, thank you! Without your videos I'm sure I would've ran back by now and continued the cycle.
Just some tech notes on video: subtitles in certain parts would enhance the viewers experience as audio is lacking clarity in parts. Good content.
It has subtitles in 14 different languages just click the wheel in the bottom right
@@RICHARDGRANNON copy that my bad.
RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH Actually,the English subtitles are terribly off and doesn’t make sense grammatically,I believe they are automatically generated..in particular,the part where the narcissist guy with the heavy accent is speaking..really hard to make out what he’s saying..Great video
Thanks for this. I think it deserves a much longer documentary. This is a very rich subject. The comment on Nazi Germany could open a serious study on humanity today, stile truthstream media. Any help for the actual npd? This focuses strongly on its prey....
@@RICHARDGRANNON thank you for subtitles...greetings from Kroatie
Narcissists are demons who walk amongst us. Their lack of empathy and compassion is truly terrifying. They're monsters. Run and never look back.
Lilly Pilly, i agree with each and every word you said, may you and all who have suffered from their evil plots and schemes find peace and healing from the Lord. sending love and light to all.
They are dark energy!!
Narcissists are broken people. Abuse takes a healthy child and turns them into a reflection of that abuse. Under the layers of defense mechanisms, each layer nastier than the last, is a small traumatized child. This isn't to say that you should coddle them or stay with them, just to understand that they're people too. If a narcissist seeks help they can learn to recognize their behaviors and to see them for what they are. Also, it's important to see that there are different levels to narcissism. There are borderline narcissists, and there are people like the guy in this video. Keep an eye out, protect yourself, and do not get enmeshed, but know that they aren't demons.
@Turquoise Cheetah Spew? Don't spew things you cannot prove. I have seen people recover from mental illness. Recovery is a choice and it takes dedication. It's a slow process, but one that should not be dramatized or overlooked through literal demonization.
My ED is one. Better off without her.
*All of you who escaped* Listen to as many healing voices and videos as you can, that build you up and have love and creativity and beauty....only this will eventually overwrite the abuser's voice running in your head...
Save Hope thank you for this.
Absolutely!!!
Thank you for this! I’m writing this on a postit and putting in my bathroom right now!
Save Hope so true! Because 16yrs in, I still have that voice x
Laura Hernandez bless you Laura x
As a survivor of severe narcissistic abuse I honestly believe that there is no cure for narcissism. Once a damaged person CHOOSES to embrace the darkness of narcissism, there is no turning back. I realize that many people will often display narcissistic traits, but I am talking about true narcissists (NPD's), which is a heart condition and a soul/spirit condition. The best solution for dealing with these things (human imposters) is total separation or going no contact. Trying to help these people will only lead to your demise!
Yes- you have to go no contact and save yourself
Just try to remember, many of these people are born, or were made. If they were made, in my Narcs case (yes I still had to Go No Contact) is that when they were small, they only had the capacity to choose for survival. My ex's mother was very abusive and spanked him until he would not cry. Child abuse is the gift that just keeps on giving in these cases, and it is utter despair. N's are like are walking dead, not people, and they don't see people. It is like people born without limbs, or a legs, and that is why there is no cure. We can have compassion and forgiveness, they cannot, who is the real winners? We really are, for the grace of god, there go I.
@@IndigoDisco My mission when I finish school is to work with women in DV situations to get free when the children are smaller, before the children are turned into walking dead people, just to clarify.
Let them Waller in their own stew juice.yuck.
@@robertataylor5794 ..AMEN - is some cases.
I've had a horrible, traumatizing experience with a narcissist.
All I can say is, they are pure evil.
@Melissa Faye I'm so sorry to read about your ordeal. It's unimaginable that someone could be that cold, evil and call themselves a man.
Your situation is much more serious than mine.
You have to muster up the courage to leave, for your very own sanity.
Just leave him, don't say anything, you will be ok.
He is damaging you, he wants to break you down.
You must get away from him!
It's long overdue.
He does not love anyone but himself.
You have the strength within you.
Pray to God, he will guide you and open a way for you, I promise.
Just listen to him, you will feel the urge and thr courage.
There will be a drive within, you will know when to act.
Just get everything ready that you need.
Don't let him become aware of what you are doing.
God bless you and protect you ❤️
Same baby I hope one day it will not bother us anymore ❤️
I believe that this should be taught in school. Warning people of these type of people because of the damage that they can cause is absolutely mind blowing.
Same. I still wonder if I will ever truly be me again. I still haven’t been with anyone since him. It’s been years since I left him after being w him for over 15 years I have ptsd and a ton of health issues that stemmed from the stress he put on me w mental emotional and physical abuse.
I’m still running away from my ex. I’m going insane.
I sent this video to him while ago and now he’s accusing me of being a narcissist and send me the same things.
This is definitely the worst experience I ever had.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist becomes a haunted house of hell.
Prisoner of war.
OMG. I know, I'm about to start divorce action against an N Wife who emotionally abused me for most of my marriage, and allowed her elderly NMom and NDad to abuse me as well. She is also heavily codependent with her mother & brother and expected me to throw my life away for them too. They didn't like me standing up to them or refusing to let them control me and my wife retaliated against me harshly for speaking against her family's treatment of me. NC for 4 months and am so much healthier.
NoPCsHere Good job dont need evil people like that
NoPCsHere in your life
Happy Life You're right. It took me years to wake up to the reality that they were abusive. My wife's elderly NMom is thoroughly abusive to my stepdaughter as well as to me but my wife would defend her mother and tell me to put up with her behavior. It feels so much healthier not having these people around me.
Because of living with abuse from narcissistics in childhood..I suffer from being overly sensitive, depression, and anxiety. In a positive light, I have gone to the other end of the spectrum.
I refuse to become bitter and selfish. 💙✌
Me too. Hugs.
Same here Lacy. Sadly I had to cut the chord with my Dad and Brothers because they refuse to acknowledge how they've been abusive towards me. I've finally gotten the courage to truly stand up for myself and cut them out of my life so that I can heal and move forward. Like yourself, I refuse to let anyone turn me into a bitter hateful person. I will lose the world just to have myself.
I allowed people to walk all over me for years. While it was happening, I didn't really notice it. There were times that I questioned my severe need to be nice and kind. I'm confident that is where my anxiety and depression took root. Now I'm able to (most of the time) refuse doing something, I don't want to do. I'm still learning that "I" am actually enough. These videos build confidence. They let us know. What we experienced, was in fact real. I used to think to myself, I really like who I used to be. That person is who I'm working to get back to. Take care of yourselves.
@Milton Stapler You shouldn't deny yourself the beauty of love because of a few bad apples. You're allowing them and fear to win. You have to see the patterns that you've created related to trauma bonding and make different choices. When we take the stance that we're never going to love again, we punish ourselves. It's almost like carrying around the burden of abuse when you were the victim. That angst and shame isn't yours to carry. Give yourself credit for how strong you are and how far you've come. Alot of people never get out and you've made it out. Get counseling and learn how to trust again. You deserve better but you have to allow better to come. Not everyone will hurt you and there are some genuinely good people out there. You just have to learn how to set boundaries and not give your all to the wrong people.
same here god bless🙏
When he explained that they will actually become more abusive in their next relationship because they have MORE rage since their partner left them, instead of becoming more humble (like a normal human), I actually got chills. I know this is true. After you experience Narcissistic abuse, you are traumatized when you finally realize the entire relationship was a complete lie. You lived a fake life for years, and the other person never truly loved you; just wanted their supply until the next one (he had many). I could have cured cancer and it still wouldn't have been enough for him. He was, and never will be satisfied no matter who he is with. I used to tell my ex that I do not believe he ever loved anyone in his life - he was TERRIFIED to become close to anyone (and then would blame me). I feel such sadness for him that he lives such a sad, awful life inside his head. I have so much more knowledge after this experience, but I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
Amen.
Well said! Wow!
as an empath it was one of that hardest things in life i ever went through,,,still in recovery
CC,
Bless You!
Peace ; )'
thanks 4 comment- I want to be glad 4 what is but the society seems to ask something else- how to tell if these narcissistic traits are there or not- and is it me or someone else- who to stop being a victim- when looking back into past it confuses and it happens that I live in imaginery world- the world kinda fell all over and now I'm quite isolated- not sure where to go- only these imaginations (what would be etc)- also tend to over-analyse but but but-
Family court has got to see this abuse as just as serious as physical abuse.
Thank you.
That will never happen
Family court encourages this abuse. They know it’s wrong but they don’t care.
Worse than physical abuse because it scars for life. Takes years...
Yes !! I think the UK and France recognizes various levels of financial and psychological abuse as crime.
In addition, psychologists should be instructing students high school regarding narcissistic abuse.
5:19 "You can be punished by a narcissist simply for existing without needing them". Jesus Christ, I'm surprised that I didn't die from exhaustion.
Exactly! Well said
That was so weird that you wrote that because my sister is wealthy and I am not and every once in a while she would swoop down and proffer handouts. Because I was occasionally struggling and it for my dog, I accepted. There were always strings usually involving some form of humiliation etc. Then one day I told her I'd love to see her occasionally but was financially responsible and would not longer accept $. One week later her e-mail informed me we had a toxic relationship, I was ungrateful .... the usual drill and haven't heard from her since. Didn't know it was that easy!!!
I can soooo relate!
My ex was so upset that I didn’t “need” her in her eyes. I wanted her but that wasn’t enough…
I agree
I watched this... and I FELT this... Narc survivors are great warriors ... and we aren’t crazy... I’m so grateful and blessed to have left my Narc before it got worse... I feel for these victims who lost so much more💕
I was with my for 3 years.. I'm so hurt emotionally and mentally and physically..
Same here. I consider myself very lucky to have gotten out, when I did.
Please heal... some don't
Yessssss!!
My Daughter is batteling her Narcissist ex boyfriend ,who for 17 years has Mentally and Physically Abused her, she finally left him but the scars are still there. And to make things worse she had Children from him and so now he Controls everything, even though she doesn't want Child Support, he still Threatens her to take the kids away.
He sees them every other week, but it's not good enough. The kids are afraid of him but the 2 older kids stay with him out of fear. The 2 younger ones he lets my daughter see every other week, because they are too little for him to take time for. He does whatever he wants, the kids are failing in School now, it's Terrible. My Daughter has done nothing wrong, she was the care giver and did everything with the kids. Now they are out of Control, when the kids are at her place for the week, she notice how relieved they are in a normal place. He is Chaos and never home when he gets home from work he goes out and Drinks and Parties. Leaving the kids alone ,with no supervision,expects the older kids to watch the younger kids. He brainwashes the kids that he'll put them in Foster Homes if they tell anybody, like their Mom. It's Sad. I want to help, but how can I my Daughter is so Afraid of him.
But yet he Harrasses her and still Controls her. He Threatens her, he has everything. My Daughter has nothing. He even has a Women Attorney that just sent her a letter, he wants Full Custody of the kids. And she doesn't know what to do. It's like she's shellshocked. I told her to get an Attorney but she tells me , Mom he will win, he always wins. My Heart is Broken for her. She doesn't Deserve this. He is so Cruel. How can I help my Daughter?
This I believe CANNOT be understood unless experienced. Shocking once grokked.
True. Try to explain it to someone, and they cant grasp that sort of evil. They just give that blank look, of confusion.
Agree one hundred percent, you must have experienced to believe there are Demons amongst us
Mlcblog Media I believe that too. Ppl look at me like I’m crazy
we dont live on a spinning ball and our cruel narcisistic rulers have been abusing us for 100s of years and playing sick jokes on us. all royalty are secret trans. everyone on tv is secret trans.. most people can't handle the truth
Mlcblog Media absolute true!!!!!! People think I am mad because he is so nice... thank god that I have a friend which I talked to since the beginning and when I actually found out he was very narcissistic I made a mindmap of all he said and my friend recognised all of it.
“this is the best man I’ve ever known....and then they become your worst nightmare”
And you become theirs by WALKING AWAY for eternity.
We thought they were they best prehaps even 2 go to be true smh
Facts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they are average pieces of liars and cheaters.
He was so cruel to me. He ruined my life. It's been five years and I still think about him a hundred times a day. I wish my recovery was faster.
RVS I hear you..I'm always triggered.. ( I hate that word..lol) ..it's been 2 years later..have trouble sleeping..when sleeping.. the nightmares bring it all back. Desperately want to move on..and not think of myself as a victim..but a survivor
I hear you
i’m 4yrs out. i feel like i’m finally less depressed, anxious and traumatized but i still haven’t been able to bring myself to start dating again. devastating that i lost my best yrs to him and that finally got away but now i’m battling debilitating health issues.
you’re not alone ❤️ we will heal!
@Turquoise CheetahI feel your pain, me too This is what is so sad. Kids are not better for us staying with abuse for their benefit.
We need to go far and fast with our kids.
Needs to be no contact for our safety. No joke
You need to reprogram your brain. Look up Dr. Joe Despenza on YT, books or seminars. Also can try Anraham Hicks.
6 weeks on my own after nearly 17 years with a narcissist. My spirit is broken through the help off prayer and counciling i can get through each day.
Yes be strong and fly...
Stay strong
stay strong sister,
Trisha Rundle god bless you love I know it’s hard listening to some healing meditation videos on UA-cam get some healing crystals as well ❤️
You can do this. If you have the strength to make your issues public. You have more than enough strength to see yourself through this.
"they could be paying you a compliment but somehow you feel threatened, they could be doing something for you but you feel ripped off" ; thank you immensely for saying this. I thought I was crazy. So many times I tried therapy and went to doctors and was told it was all my fault. It was only when I started learning about narcissistic abuse that I began to understand what was being done to me. It's so sad and disappointing that so many mental health "professionals" are so ignorant about this.
For me when they pay me a compliment, I feel like a punishment is looming ahead to knock me back down a peg.
It’s as if the therapists are flattered by the Narc. Most therapists can’t delineate disorders and blame the big mouth victims for being outspoken.
"They will make a project of punishing you." Wow. Yep.
If you're not giving them adoration while they put you to the side for more important things like hobbies.. theyll get new supply and punish you. Your job is to sexually satisfy them.. and that's never enough.. to take a bk seat to their hobbies.. to never confront them when they're clearly talking to another woman.. to never have any goals or dreams( their dreams are the only ones). Never require them to do anything.. you're to wait on them hand and foot and work full time.. oh.. and raise the kids alone while they pursue new supply
Lynn sounds like my dad sadly and I chose one just like him and worse a loser. My dad makes money
Narcs only ambition, life goal is to bring the target down.
You become their project
I know i have been a project for one of them for years especially since my ex partner and i bought a house they didnt want me to keep, even though tbey told us to buy it.
I didn't leave the abusive relationship.
I was dropped for someone else.
Indescribable pain, I blamed myself for far too long. I was mentally abused and sexually assaulted by this person, but I still blamed myself.
It pains me to know that others experience this or worse.
I feel grateful that I've finally acknowledged that it wasn't my fault... now I look at her and feel... pity.
She's living her life in a shallow state, and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
To anyone reading this, you are worth a lot more than you think.
71 days out. What gives?
You are worth more than you think as well. Peace to you. Prayers for us all
You are in my prayers. And you are right!
I had a similar experience. Sadly their new partner will most likely suffer the same.
Thank you.
I’m starting to believe it.
"Healing is difficult, abusing people is easy". Yes. I went from abused child, to abusive teenager and adult, to beginning the journey towards healing and recovering from my Narcissism. I've been working on healing for the past 10 years. Even now, my anger boils under my skin and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from verbally castrating people who upset me. I ruminate for ages afterwards, criticising myself for not putting them in their place. My ego is so fragile that even a misplaced emoji can drive me into a fury. I have empathy, so I don't have NPD, just narcissistic traits, so for me it feels like my narcissism and empathy are fighting inside me like the old two wolves metaphor. I'm doing my best to feed the empathy and not the other wolf.
"[Narcissists are] like psychological ninjas trying to dodge the laser beams of responsibility"... Holy shit! I have NEVER heard it described so accurately! Brilliant!!
"real love doesn't just treat you like crap after it's treated you well." so true ❤️
“They could be saying something like they love you, or be paying you a compliment, but yet the way you feel is different, or ripped off......”
Agreed, the "double-speak" with covert narcissists especially, is EXTREME
How can we legally put these bastards away for good? I understand being a Narc isn't a crime but destroying someone psychologically should be of some evidence in court that it's 100% abuse and there should be repercussions. They ruin lives. Some legislation or law needs to be passed. It is a MUST!✍
Mel Marin it is in the UK, but not in the US.
You didn't get it. Not all assholes are abusers. An NPD person is a psychopath that feeds on afflicting abuse (by definition: treat a person with cruelty or violence, either physically or psychologically, especially regularly or repeatedly). ABUSE (no matter its form) should NEVER be allowed. That's why I agree with Mel Marin: laws have to change. To my knowledge, physical abuse is the only form of abuse recognized by law. We need to include the other forms of abuse, which are the bast majority.
I think the better solution is for people to wake up to reality and critical thinking. Once an individual can identify the signs of narcissistic behavior, they have to make the choice to walk away. Self love and strong boundaries are the best weapons against narcissism.
Look, we can't start sending people to jail because they broke our hearts. I can understand in cases of physical abuse, of course there needs to be repercussions. But we can not lock people up because they hurt our feelings or lead us on. That is not the path to creating normal functioning adults. We are accountable for our own actions (with exceptions obviously). It's tough, I understand that. I have dealt with people with undiagnosed personality disorders before (boss, ex's and family) and am in the process of healing but I've realized that I can choose to give my power away or not and I wouldn't have learned this or how to set boundaries if I focused on locking them up.
We aren't talking about heart breakers, liars, or cheaters or selfish asholes (though these can be narcissistic behaviours), we are talking about people who systematically destroy another's sense of reality and self for their own edification... to the point where you are broken or suicidal or cannot function in society anymore. That is far, far more damaging than violence. Sadly it seems that society is bent on providing the environment for young people to develop this way.
Im in a narcissistic abusive relationship, I've been diagnosed with depression, aniexty and ptsd. Im just turned 21 he is 28, this man has completely destroyed me. I don't know who I am anymore and the worst part is I have a child with him.
Shay B get away from him
How are you now?
It is hard to deal with these people all our lives! I would love to "live" a serious dream, instead of just dreaming it!
You're only 21, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make the same mistake I did by staying with him, no matter what you think, your child is better off without him! They don't change for the better, they continue to get worse and the older they get, the more they abuse you
I have been back and forth with one since age 29; 53 now, one child with him and I feel sad that he won't accept change 💔
i’m happy i’m no longer in the relationship but the long term effects are really taking over and i still think of him everyday. he totally broke me.
I understand completely.
I've been no contact for 9 months..they both, my wife and the son are malignant narcs..after 2 yrs it got worse..with research and Quora I concluded something else emotional incest...a double whammy,,..it was so surreal, it was the absolute nightmare that became the Stephen King novel that never got written...Just run...and in retro..I see now that they are cowards I only live 6 miles away from their house...now they never come to the town I live in..they travel 10 extra miles to do their shopping...Good luck and God will be with you(us)
Learn about BOUNDARIES. Work to forgive yourself for losing so much time.
The only way to ever get over this type of abuse is to leave, go no contact and NEVER EVER look back!
I'm looking back, and I'm going back. With a f.........g law suit called " INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS" F.......k him. I want Justice!!!!!!
B Belizy 😢😢😢
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
I did this with my abusive family as an adult. It took me 34 years but now that they are gone, I feel so much peace. It's so positively different than before. I didn't know what life could be like without the abuse. Freedom!!!
They are CRUEL out of nowhere
There CRUEL then NICE out of nowhere.
Fixed it for ya🤣
Zenith Astrology know what you mean. When they're nice it's a complete surprise.
@Claudia Vlahović yes they need help a bullet to their head is the antidote.
Baffling part of it and so confusing. Yes.
Childhood Trauma isn't out of "nowhere". These people are sick for a reason.
Narcissts are also very cowardly.
Be strong, recognise them fast and tell them no.
Then put distance between you and them.
I"m a therapist working with men and women who are trying to recover from Narcissistic Abuse. Your work and Sam's is invaluable for those wanting to understand this form of abuse. Great work!
Thanks you for your service to others 🌺
@Teela Tequila they will never change. There is No cure, no treatment, no medication. They become worse over time.
Worse, to the point of physical abuse, maybe murder but in a way where they are not obviously at fault. Very calculating. Very Secretive. Always LIARS.
You’re amazing.
Also - please watch Dr. Carter & Dr. Ramani. Both on UA-cam - both with decades of Clinical experience & an incredible understanding of all facets & types of Narcassism & Narcassistic behaviors.
@@mdee860 I love them too
The pain of the invisible and visible abuse was relentless. I thought I could reason with the person(s). I was wrong! I hurt myself so much with my own malignant optimism. Thank you for your work. Very Very well done. Sharing!
Yes yes! Malignant optimism is a great term.What that says is "THIS is my problem , and I am responsible for it. " It shakes off that victim mentality .
Bravo!
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻❤️
I kept praying, fasting, believing, do the right thing no matter what trying anything I could ,being supportive trusting God. Failing to realize that I was married to a heartless, angry demon.
@@blackbutterfly6914 I send you out as sheep amongst wolves. Yes Jesus, you certainly did
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
The clinical narcissist is only so open about himself because it’s giving him attention and makes him feel so powerful. You can see it on his face how he feels prideful even though he’s admitting
@Soul's Anchor Tarot Agreed. His need to brag and self inflate (regardless the motivation) has yielded the rest of us a glimpse beyond what any standard text can offer.
I don't believe him when he says he has no emotions though .... He is married I think as well or in a long term relationship I bet if something happened to his paramore he would elicit emotions
I was horrified because I've listened to his channel without realising. 😮
He look off
@@anthonyderryberry i dont think its helpful for victims really. I think he tries to torment and lay blame at the victims feet.
to describe the abuse. its like death by a million papper cuts.
& Degrading. They take Away Your Life, Without Actually Taking Your LIFE PHYSICALLY. They Leave No Suspicious, Visible, Clear EVIDENCE of Abuse. & Most people around me didn't Know Anything about This ( EVIL ) TYPE of ABUSE. I felt Really ALONE 😔
scowls Mcjowls .......with a salty knife!
And it makes you wonder if you'll ever recover. My abusive parents, narc dad, had battered down my self worth for so long, even making me verbally repeat out loud that "I'm nothing, I'm nobody", even though I've broken contact, I'm struggling to build my self worth. But I feel like that damage is so ingrained, it feels permanent
To hear it out loud makes it real.
DIDO!!!!! ; )'
People, if someone you have only known for a short period of time lies to you and tries to explain it away as a mistake, they forgot or whatever lame excuse they have, run. No matter how perfect they seem to be. Run quickly and never look back. This small amount of advice would have saved me from 27 years of emotional, mental, sexual, and financial abuse.
Yes, my ex was the biggest liar. His mom and step mom even admitted to me it was a problem. I should have turned and ran in the first year after I found out about his lies. I also think that this has made me a better person, now that I’m unpacking all of it, reading back on my journals. I can see his abuse clearly now and I won’t make the same mistake again. I learned and grew. But it would be nice to help warn others so they don’t have to go through it for over a decade like I did.
It is so heartbreaking how much genuine love I poured into him. He couldn’t take it in. He showed me contempt. He swears he loves me. I’m sure he loves all his other girlfriends too! He was a serial cheater and would constantly accuse me of doing what he was doing! Leave. And, love yourself!
How did you know he was cheating
Good for you. People like you, speaking up about their lives. Helps other people, including myself.
Based on your specific comment. I'm starting to feel something positive about all of this. Thank you
I had to look at your name, I wondered if I wrote this. PAINFUL AND MOST CRUEL.
He Planned on retirement, stole my money, traveled, had affairs, lied, Betrayed in every way. I am past the age to recover financially.
He searched out and got a wealthy widow.
Whole Spirit I’m sorry you had to go through that
@@wildhorses6817
Mine Was Trying To Find One Too😊😊
THANK YOU DEMONS FOR TEACHING ME THAT YOU ARE NEVER WORTH MY TIME.
YOU WILL NEVER GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO EVER HURT ME EVER AGAIN
Precious Gems I wouldn’t treat a dog the way narcissists treat people.
it's funny, but not funny, but I noticed my physical being is affected when they are near, my heart races in my throat for no reason, but I guess their is a reason, great job! Protect yourself. =)
Amen
Hope u ok now
EF DW ly Ty xxxx
This video is so accurate. Sad and scary to have survived a narcsisitc relationship, but now I am lost, paralyzed, depressed and feel stripped of my joy and direction in life. These narcsisist are monsters and vampires.
They take a piece of you without you even realizing & it’s really awful. If you see someone doing well on their own & you’re not ready to add to their life wholeheartedly than leave them the fuck alone‼️
It takes ages to get through it,no one who hasn't been through it can understand but you get less tearful as the years go on,I think anger is my main for tay these days,not great but better than crying everyday for lost hopes dreams etc,employment has been my hardest hurdle as a single parent with little help. Someone said to me that I'm organised and done well but they dont see how much it took just to survive,narcs are horrible and there are many of them and many who lack empathy and morality too so its easy for these narcs to get away for ages with the abuse. God sees
@@karriesaunders8597 Hi Karrie, Thank you for your reply. It's been a year since I left that comment and thank goodness, I am doing great now. I am not interested in a relationship, but am very happy alone. I never thought the sun would shine again, because I was so stripped of my essence, but the sun came out for me and I am grateful beyond words that I didn't give up.
I hope you get good work soon. May God bless you and your kids.,❤️
Put raw eggs in his closets....inside of hoodies and pockets. Just let them rot. Trust me. Yes. You must be gone and the relationship over, do the egg thing, and walk on.
@@karriesaunders8597 why the fuck doesn't God fix it? Where's God? Where?
I had a narcissist Father. I haven't spoken to him in 7 years and it has been a peaceful 7 years. Hearing this video says "cut all communication off now" it hurts hearing it. I know it is the right thing, I know I have no choice. But it hurts because I love my Dad, and I wish in this world we could have had a normal relationship. I miss him. And I mourn the Dad I could have had if he had been given a normal childhood. This is the second parent I have lost before they have actually died. One to addiction, and the other to NPD. It's painful.
My mom was a narcissist I should have went no contact but couldn't. She was jealous and envious of me and hated me with contempt. Recently she died, the sad part is to the very end she remained the same. My sister who lived with her became her and thought she'd continue the process of abuse after the death of our mother. I stood up for myself and have gone no contact, and it feels great.
@SarahSmiles Maybe your mom went on drugs to help her cope with being with a narc. It often happens that way.
I’m confused, you say you haven’t spoken to your dad but don’t want to cut off communication. I guess you mean emails, cards etc. Yes to finalise and cut everything off must be very very hard. But you must protect yourself if he’s still hurting you badly. Hope the situation improves for you
If Nice Daddy was real then Horrible Daddy would never appear. The Nice Daddy you thought you loved was just a puppet show presented by Horrible Daddy to keep you loyal. There is no "Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde". There is only Mr Hyde.
People will ALWAYS fail you. But you do have a loving Father! God will never forsake you! What's important to you, is important to Him.
Thank you for this. You don't realize until you've fallen victim (in love) with someone with NPD. But when you finally get out of it - whether they dumped you or you break it off with them - you realize that they've been setting you up for it the whole time and have already gotten many people to think you're the crazy and abusive one. So that when you speak out, no one listens. Also, just as they made you think they were wonderful, until you got close enough to see the mask drop, they have everyone else under the same spell...and those people rarely if ever see the mask drop because they're not around enough. So, this kind of video is important - because many people don't have someone else who has had this experience to turn to afterwards for support. People who haven't experienced a narcissist or sociopath in a relationship will just say "you need to get past this" or "just get over it" with no idea what trauma you've experienced.
True there
narcs are punished every single day of their lives by not being human..full of jealousy of others
exactly. They are human/demon hybrids.
So jealous
@@thaistomp They are fully human. Humanity is capable of horrible things, both on an individual and group basis. You do not have to look very far through history to see that. It's tempting to relegate sociopaths and NPDs to an otherworldly plane, that is almost comfortable, compared to the idea that human beings can be configured this way.
@@joed180 You would be devasted to know that I am a front line soldier in Christ, there IS a war on, it IS being FOUGHT!
Pick up yourself and carry your cross! Trudge for TRUTH, FORGIVENESS AND L...O...V...E...
@@murraymachado401 I'm not particularly concerned about your military career, no.
..Nothing left for connectivity, interrelativity, nothing left ..... being with a narcissist is truly like a walk through hell.
Oh, yes, It is TRULY HELL ON EARTH
Add your family that is on his side and you want to die. I honestly believe they wantwd me to commit the unthinkable. I would not wish this treatment on anyone.
Thank you Richard Grannon for this documentary and for giving survivors a voice. Narcissistic abuse is insidious, all pervasive, and evil.
When that woman said "I would really wanna rip him physically apart little by little" I felt that in my soul!!!!!!
"You will have a complete traumatic break with reality" ... did it for me
Wow she has pain. Breaks your heart.
Me too. I'm dangerous as all hell now. Poor souls. It's my turn to be cold for a change.
That’s my experience I wanna hurt them bad reaaaaallllllllll baaaaaad.
@@mrcheese7042 don’t. You will be rewarded for taking the high road
Narcissistic partners are bad, but narcissistic parents are worse. Just not having the ability to leave the situation, and that abuse being the norm is just so hard and I hate to see people go through it.
I don't know if I'll ever recover
And trying to tell people/other family members what’s happening - “oh that’s just normal family relationships.” NO.IT’S.NOT. It’s abuse.
I truly wish you the best.
Yes, as a child, where do you have to go? I was lucky to have two grandparents. Without them I don’t think I would have survived.
I had to decide to try and stay and referre for my children (qnd take the brunt) or leave and leave them exposed during his time.
I realized I'd never break the ysle if I stayed, IF i survived. I am out and teaching my children to respect others, to care and empathize qnd give them a voice at least when they are here. It's tricky at times because they are learning his traits and coping. I can only hope I help them 🙏 qnd as they get older I'll introduce them more and more to tactics people do to manipulate... but not in a way to alienate them from him but to empower and give them better skills.
14:03 Prolonged contact will make you go insane.. that is exactly what it feels like. Exactly!!
My mother is a narcissist and always targeted me. Later, in my adult life, I entered multiple narcissistic relationships.
They just smell it.
All the talking, discussing, the pleading: without any effect.
The gaslighting, don’t get me started!
I could hear myself jelling and screaming, going all crazy at her. She just sat there, enjoying it.
I left. Best decision ever.
Update: I found out my mother has a borderline personality disorder with narcissistic treats. But it overlaps each other I think.
Knowing this did help me (us in a way) to deal with her behavior, the last year.
I feel sorry for her emotional imbalance and insecurity. But I can’t forget how she used this as an excuse to target me all those years.
Everyday you can make a decision how to live that one in a new way. But maybe she has less freedom of choice… and that is sad.
I,too, suffer with a narsisisstic mother. Life is a living hell with her. Thank God for His Son or I wouldn't be able to have a great life.
The society should get awareness that a narc parent is a terrible sentence to pain for a child. Nobody seems to care about this ruth of evil. I’d be curious how a bunch of narcs would get along if left together on an empty island.
Lizzy 22 years, two mental health institution stays, severe drug abuse.... I’m now 54 days free from him.... changed my life. Best. Decision. Ever.
MARIA JANE Best Decision Ever! Well done and keep going! You Deserve It ♥️
C O LOL that I would like to watch on a television show!
During our last argument I asked narc "Why would you want to be with someone who no longer loves you?" he replied "That's not of your concern, MY concern is that I really love you and you need to get better" implying that I was too mentally ill to make decisions without his input.
OMG my ex always used to say those exact words!! Thank you for sharing your comment. It’s like he was on an endless mission to force me into his delusion, and it worked. It’s like we have to completely lose our minds and sanity in order to wake up. 😔
E N sounds familiar. When I left a narcissist decades ago he was saying your not well mentally. You must be suffering post natal depression. Just admit to yourself your not thinking clearly and are crazy. Write it down and send it to me in a letter. They must think we are stupid. I did write him a letter but I said I left you because you are a violent abuse pig , he couldn’t use that in court to try and get custody.
Wow! I left my ex after living together for a year. Took a plane from sydney didnt even say goodbye. Out situation wasnt that bad, but he would never apologize, and accept my feelings and felt skmething is not OK. Anyways since then we emailed and he woukd never apologize, keep saying, admit that you left because you have issues!!! He keeps going around and telling people i need to find myself and i am troubled! Wtf🤔
I think thats called projection, I was told also I had to see a therapist, its what they do, project their shit onto you.
Wow
"Abuse without ever been wrong" Well said!
A narcissist has no soul therefore no love,empathy etc etc. We end up with the burden of all the pain and fear etc that they should of had. No wonder we crack under the pressure when we are in effect carrying two peoples negative weight and not just our own.
They have a soul but a very dark and damaged one.
I agree, I don't think they have a soul. They seem to be "empties".
They have souls just that their personalities are damaged and modelled on bad behaviour.
They are far away from their centers, their souls. Every human life is a soul. Like a car needs a driver, a body needs a consciousness. However some souls are sleeping and damaged or disregulated.
You r bang on I had exact same with female
When they are drunk, actually they show real emotions. And open up.
Apparently. It’s really weird though.
Oh😔 said he hated me thought he had anger issues..
True, I had a narcissist friend who was a total peice of shit. He raped girls. Used people. Did all sorts of awful things. I hated the guy, I was just using him for drug contacts. But he got drunk one night and just started crying in my arms saying hes such a horrible person and hates that he destroys people but cant stop. And just freaking out. Then out of nowhere he just snapped back to his usual self like nothing even happened. He denied he even cried. It was a crack in their weak ass armor. They're the most truly pathetic people on earth.
@@ayoutubecommenter1827 and mine called me pathetic all the time....just maybe then nothing but projection
And they telling some part of truth, they still adding lies.
When another times same subject come up in like chit-chat ( without gossip they can't live) they say different.
When you say "you remember we had drink 🍸 in that-this bar at that time you said like this like that" they tell you "you got wrong or i didn't mean that way or I never said that or you remembering wrong.
In time my ex narc wife did stop drinking with me.
omy lord ..this is heartbreaking ..I fell deeply in love with a bipolar narrcicist ..he abused me manipulated me controlled me and broke my heart and soul..I'm a empath and codepandant that believes in true love and am very verbal about love anf emotions and my feelings drove him even madder..I finally let go of him..I was decieved by him from the beginning ..I was fooled in to believing he was my soulmate..I'm still trying to get over the pain and heal .this video is eye opening..I pray no one has to go through what I went through with him..
solae lee I went though the same thing
solae lee it's been a year since you responded to narcissistic abuse UA-cam video. I hope you're healing:)
solae lee
The lovebombing stage in the beginning they mirror you.
Narcsissit are empty soulless and I believe it is a spirtual war by demons/satan to get rid of GODS children.
Satan's time is short.
Blessings
victoria Laidlaw im a man and just out of a 12 week relationship with s narcissist and It felt like I woke up from a car crash....horrific stuff
Same here too. No more though!
Sam's lack of emotions and directness about how he actually "feels or acts" reminds me so much of my ex narc husband. He did everything he could to emotionally hurt me, consistently pushing buttons, talking about and hurting me when it came to my family whom i love more than anything - what made it even worse, was that he was also an alcoholic....Healing is a long road, but i know i will never ever settle for someone like that again - eventually i will open my heart again, but when i do - i will no longer allow anyone to treat me so poorly - I AM ENOUGH!
I am very impressed that Richard Grannon and Sam Vaknin came together to work on this documentary. This was well done and could have gone much deeper in order to explain the extent of the emotional disconnect that exists between narcs and the people they target for their fix. I think Sam Vaknin does great explaining the perspective from inside the narc mind. I've often thought that many people grow up, molded to become monsters from the inside, and it is up to us/them (sometimes I think I'm a narc because I've had to survive them) to simply practice compassionate emotions -- precisely what was lacking in the early emotional environmental via the caregivers' repertoire with their child, and then repeatedly throughout the lifespan. We could have a great planet if people could have permission to say, as they become adults, "I need more time to work on being human before I go out into the population to attract a mate and produce children. I know I have this darkness within me and I need to spend time learning to generate my own light before attaching and ultimately wounding a person I know I ultimately want to love".
"You can be punished by a narcissist for simply saying 'No, I don't want to do that.'" I fucking convulsed due to the realness of that statement.
Yup. Saying NO is the biggest attack to their ego.
It's called a narcissistic injury. You will be punished for example silent treatment, stonewalling, gaslighting, smear campaign against you etc..... My first introduction to a Narc was my EVIL mother. I didn't know she was a Narc until way later into my adulthood. I always knew something wasn't normal. She had No empathy. There was drama, chaos, Night raids, physical, emotional abuse, rage was always in the household etc............. I was a Miserable child with severe depression and eating disorder. This creature stole my childhood away from me and my siblings. Narcs are future faking, crazy making, hollow, robotic machines. l haven't spoken to her in 9 years.
NO CONTACT FOREVER!!!🍾
D Rider, you sound a little like me....are you sure yours is not a sociopath with narc traits like my mother? THESE are the true - "go NC" ones!!
and Yvonce, lol are you sure you are not talking about an evil entity posing as a a lil old lady from the slightly upstate NY area LOL. the old freak still breathes. but literally killed off her husband and my sister who were desperate for help. I cannot even imagine what fate awaits her when she finally puffs out of this life. .. NC forever - and for those of you in early stages, I started out with LC. As long as you give NO INFO keep any responses extremely short. and NOTHING personal whatsoever, answer NO QUESTIONS.. and DO NOT ENGAE when they try and argue, attack or rage, simply walk away, do not even let your voicebox utter even a sound, give nothing on your face that shows sadness or pain. they feed off this. KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY. I only got back in contact to attend the funerals. Still get texts ugh, but NC is the best route for healing from sociopath of a mother. She more than once put me in physical danger as well...
hugs D Rider....hey if you do want to make chit chat here and there...Im a good listener, ha at least I have that ;) Yvonce, etc. I am fairly low profile online now since she tried stalking my social media in an attempt to feed off my child for further supply, seems funerals proved to be a huge loss for her - NOT in the way for us normals, neurotypicals experience REAL authentic loss, the lack of tears or grief was a huge identifier. bless you in your journey
I spent the entire time crying over this documentary. I went through 12 years of narcissistic abuse, was dumped for new narcissistic supply over night and lost all that I had. I got help from a psychokinesiologist but I am still traumatised. Thanks for bringing this topic up.
i did to. i feel for you...mine was 20 years, i ended up in a mental hospital and im about to lose everything..... i am not healed in anyway yet, i wasn't mentally ill in any way, now i am and have lost all my friends and have little family or support, most people would say one of two things to me all the time, "your the happiest person we ever met" and "you are always smiling" its so impossibly hard
Ann Katheryn, my son and I also have had help with the Emotion Code, kinesiology. Trapped emotions are released. An amazing technique so ww can move forward.
@@brianjcpierson8534 i don’t know your story or any diagnosis, but based off what you’re sharing- you are not mentally ill. You’re hurt and trying to deal with the trauma. The fact that people see you as so happy and smiling is a good thing. Sure, you’re in pain and hiding that but you’re also so very much resilient. I’m proud of you. You could lose your partner, your belongings, your job but your soul you can never lose. And I pray that you find your way back to it. Listen to your intuition. You’re greater than any of your experiences. Love and light to you 💞
I went for 24 years, I literally lost everything now "it" says everybody I invented all! they are PURE EVIL.
1:50 That is the most self-aware narcissist I have ever seen.
He is Sam Vaknin-a very famous professor who is now able to help victims and not hurt them. He’s done more to help victims of narcissist abuse than perhaps any other person.
Right !!
@Ujuani Abelsen yeah right, he is helping millions of people...lets kick his ass because he tells the unpleasant truths
Or he is pretending and saying exactly what we want to hear. We all wish narcissists to admit wrong so he is the hero of narcissists and getting his supply.
@@cnmuchina00 Good point. But admitting he is a narcissist gives away his game and lets people know to stay away from him.
I have a hard time believing this guy is a true narcissist. Never have I ever met a narcissist with such clear insight to their own behavior, and so eloquently expressed verbally by himself.
Jonathan Lee God is Good.
Most of them would never admit to it or think anything is wrong
As they become older, the ones that are intelligent know that they're different, and not in a good way.
I would have to agree. These type of people never realize it and see everything as just fine from their standpoint.
My therapist admitted he was a narcissist. At first he gave me pointers to get thru my divorce but then I realized my sessions we're only to make him feel empowered lol...but some do realize it logically.
My mother would never admit to being a narcissist. She is always right and nothing wrong with her. I'm the defective one
That's really sad.
run!
@@BvsMAcosh duuununununununn
Narcissists r useless people they hurt and degrade others. I saw my parents abnormal behaviour right from my childhoods. They never appreciated me in any good work day. They think they r superior to others.they often boasted about themselvs
My mother was perfect .. she told me so .. often
This makes so much sense Thank you ... I have spent the last few years of my life being loved & discarded ... trying time & time again to make it up & apologise , being told my X’s friends hated me .. being spoken about behind my back, gossiped about by my X about personal matters ... I should have been grateful apparently that I had to wait for hours on end ... grateful that I should be screamed at and called a c**t ... I had enough , never in my life have I ever known anything like it .. I’ve been rejected discarded called all the names under the sun & some ... I’ve been called a psychopath , a narcissist , told I have bipolar disorder, all sorts ... it nearly destroyed me ... I don’t know how someone can say they love you one day & they hate you & walk out the next .... I would like to understand stand how the love of my life turned into the worst nightmare. I ever had ! 😔
Your story sounds exactly like mine. The gossiping, the gaslighting, and the discard.. it really hurts. Especially when you have invested years into this person who could treat you so callously.
Omg!! Thankyou for this video! I lived with an NPD for 17yrs! He was nice at the beginning but as soon as I got pregnant he changed. I was beaten, raped & every other abuse that you can think of that at the time, I didn’t know was abuse! I thought it was normal, I thought I could make him better again. I eventually got out barely with my life after having 3 boys with him. I could never leave, he would threaten to hunt me down & kill me. If I tried to leave I was beaten, one time I managed to get up the road & he tried to knock me down with his car. I’ve been kicked out of the car on the motorway just all sorts these examples don’t even scratch the surface of the daily hell I lived through, I actually thought I was going insane, I thought there was something wrong with me!. He still had some power over me years later when I was with my husband now, he still managed to hurt me in regards to my youngest son. I’ve been with my 2nd husband 16yrs & he’s my angel here on earth. “The evil one!” (As I call him or ‘dickhead’😂hasn’t changed, and he never got help he never will because he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him, it’s everyone else! I’ve been able to not have any contact for over a decade but I still have nightmares & I still have internal scars. I was so near to being killed hundreds of times & it’ll never go away but I’m a survivor & I want to help others become survivors, I just don’t know how. I thought I would write a book, I will at some stage. If my words help one other person to be a survivor, my job will be done!
I need your help...i am in the midst of this abuse after 34 years i finally left...
Please write the book. It will be the best gift that u can give the world.
@@wansangoh4951 Thank You 🙏🏻 I hope to one day help as many people as I can through my words. I’m just not sure how to start but I’m willing to & that’s the first step. Bless you x
@@tracyholliday6518 I hope you are doing good Tracy! I haven’t seen your reply until now. So forgive me xxx
Hey guys thanks for watching, please share this, we are trying to get the word out about the truth of narcissistic abuse.
Any suggestions as to how we can do that?
Hello richard, I don't know how to contact you. I have story you might be interested in and hopefully I can share it to you. It is weird how I made the video and the content of the story but it is what I was feeling at the moment so I did not change the way i express things in the video I made, pls. check it out. I am starting to think I am going to have NPD. There are things I cannot express as well. I've been watching your videos and it is what helped me understand narcissism it also helped me get through rough times. Right now things have start to transpire and it seem to affect people around me. I hope you notice this message. I believe I can help with my get your story out there because I think my story is quite rare and a whole town and belief system is involved. there is a scheme involved or a system designed to destroy another person. A normal person can follow it and destroy another person, I think the origin of this action turned into a belief is made by a narcissistic psychopath.
Thank you for bringing attention to invisible abuse. It will be wonderful when people can be held accountable for what are essentially the looms of crime themselves and place the proper perpetrators behind bars, (or some form of recidivism) This is "evolution."
me too!
this is great work Richard! Thanks :)
I'd share any one of your vids Richard!
"...then he stared rejecting me sexually"
"i have no home because he promised me ....you are gonna get it with me"
I just cant stop crying...
"he ruined my life"
No! Get your life back one step at a time..take small steps and giant leaps...push thoughts of him out consciously every single day until he has faded..
@@MAhmed-zs2vp thanks this is great advice.
@@LivingInKerala you're most welcome...I've eradicated the narc since October. Now the only time he comes to mind is when I think of his trial in July for assault towards me and his 'tag' electronic device attached to his leg until then. Bye narc. You will be like me...don't look back..all of u are worth much much more.
Always follow your own dream and when you meet someone that can enhance your life, great.
Great point! At last smo who can think of their own here
iv been someone's narcissistic supply. ..until I found out what narcissism was/is...and im glad it did. ..went no contact and that's how it's staying forever! !!
Great advice, Richard, I totally cut off contact with exnarc and even most of his friends and my life improved beyond my wildest dreams. There's no point in thinking about revenge, the worst possible revenge is that he is who he is- a joyless, loveless, hungry vampire constantly desperate for supply. I cannot imagine a worse punishment.
Sonali Raqs
They are rebels of the lord thy god.
That first woman, oh my word, I want to hug her so bad.
yes i cried with her
Me too
Thank you so much for this. I'm at a period in my life where I am dealing with having been abandoned by family who went along with my narcissist abuser (my mother), because I did the unthinkable in the narcissist's mind - I publicly came out about her abuse and what she was. I seriously felt something in me crack when you called them "angry gods" - that's precisely what my mom was, an angry god I had to appease or else she'd attack me. I'm dealing with trying to explain to my now boyfriend why I can't get past the fact that he abandoned me at the time I was doing this and how trust is a big deal with me now, because following my narcissist mom, I had narcissist partners who also eroded my trust. I'm a recovering codependent.
if you have to move to another town to get away then do it..
Yes and don't have a kid with them!
Good luck with that one
@@sagi1142 I say that everyday. I love my son but regret his Mother😱
scowls Mcjowls absolutely! Changing your name which is what I’m thinking about so I can’t be found.
Or another country!!!!!
I had TWO narcissistic parents and then a whole family full of them. It set me up for a lifetime of being battered brutally in every way possible. I’ve lost an eye, been in a wheelchair from extreme mental trauma (conversion disorder), been in atrocious living situations, jobs, with a alcoholic, sociopathic partner and more. It got me living in mental institutions and E.R.’s from constant suicide attempts. I was always an empath and I wouldn’t want to be a narcissist for anything. To inflict that much harm and pain on another living being is unthinkable to me. I still hope that they are somehow paid back for what they do to others. Ideally they should not be allowed to live in society and confined to mental institutions or jails.
I hear ya!
At 7:43, I gain huge satisfaction knowing that me cutting her off & deleting/blocking her on all forms of social media & out of my life without notice has pissed her off & as I thought would have her sitting there thinking, "How dare that peasant/prick has walked away from me. I'm the best he'll ever have, he obviously never cared for me, blah blah blah".
Thankful that I only put up with her rollercoaster treatment of narcissistic abuse for just 9 months or so. Pure evil.
These videos are helping me so much, keep up the good work!
Stay prayed up!! That is the way to heal!! Put God first in your life, let his voice be the one your listening to. This to shall pass, it will....😇💖
This has been the only thing really helping me. To Yahusha (Jesus) be the glory!
It was ABBA that delivered me from a death wish lifestyle bcuz of being a NPD victim. The Scriptures refer to it as Insolent Pride. I had never hear of NPD until well after I was victimized for about 5 yrs....it took ABBA YAHUAH (god) to lead me out & I'm still healing. ..mostly bcuz like my grand babe's. ...I can't totally avoid the NPD...She's married to my son! Plz pray for me & my family! Ty & SHALOM!
Amen!!
That Is The Only ReaSon I am Not Only Still Standing But I Have Also Been Healed While In The Abuse Of Hell
@@lucygoose6237
Amen!
BARUCH HASHEM!
I Went InTo This Marriage Broken AlReady Tho Abba Had Healed me Of A Lot
I Was Then Broken Down Even More Thru This Systematic Abuse But Then Abba Started Taking me Step By Step Thru Some Deeper Healing
Still In The Situation But I Am Now Fully Aware An unMoved Most Of The Time By The Garbage
It Feels Good To Be Whole!
Shalom!
Correct, because narcissism is like a demon hold in your life. It slowly strips your soul away from you. Only God can restore that for you
"by force or by guile you will play this game with me" THIS! When you realize that this is the narc's game (of abuse and destruction), it's time to pack up and never look back.
But supply isn't just attention as Vaknin claims. It comes in many other forms, e.g. the feeling of satisfaction they obtain from verifying that they can emotionally manipulate you.
Three months of day and night research on NPD and sociopathy made me finally somehow understand these twisted individuals and what happened to me. Somehow grateful for the last one, who ruined my life and my sons life which force me to do this research and understand the cycle of abuse, used to being a supply since birth. Proud to say I am a survivor. My son saved my life many times. I now hope to someday win the battle of healing to be able to save his life.
This shit is inhumane. Thankful to have found two survivors closeby. We each fight our own war but we understand eachother and that is a crucial thing. Nobody who hasnt been through this can possibly understand. How many times I tried and got answers like 'u have chosen this' or 'u should've known', 'just forget it and move on', etc. You dont make choices when it comes to traumabonding, you dont expect people living their life in a secondary created new self, you dont just forget one who has broken everything you ever believed in, crushed everything you ever stood for and sucked your soul out of you.
Awareness is needed. Nowadays society breeds these people. Help (in my area at least) is very hard to find. People have no-fucking-clue. This vid and NPD traits, examples of gaslighting/conditioning/lovebombing-discarding/traumabond/blameshifting/... should be force fed to youngsters in school.
Painful to watch, because it is so true. I was raised by a narcissist who enjoyed beating me and neglecting me, then married a narcissist. Because of my long-term childhood traumas, I thought the abuse I received in my marriage was just par for the course, because it was I who was evil. That my wedding night was rape, that he slapped me across the face the second day we were married, then demanded absolutely obedience on the third day all made sense to me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong with me, because I am an intelligent, kind, empathic, and shy bookworm, who would never deliberately hurt anyone. I just knew I was bad, though I couldn't figure out why. Now at age 74, thanks to therapy and youtubes as painful as this, I finally have the full picture. Narcissist or not, my gratitude to Sam Vaknin.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the severity of NPD. I almost died two years ago and luckily I have gotten out of this horrible nightmare.
This public documentary makes me feel both validated and vindicated.
full-circle moment. satisfying.
I've dealt with people who are narcissists my entire life and it has hurt me Greatly... I have gone to a lifetime
of energy Healing, therapies of all kinds. It wasn't until I finally learned how to see narcissists almost immediately that I felt
at least a little bit of safety and confidence on this planet!
Around 4:23, "They're really wonderful in the beginning." That's exactly how he was. After a while his behavior started to change. I wasn't so perfect in his eyes. That creeped me out, so I sent an email to him stating we shouldn't keep seeing each other. He responded as if no more contact was his idea.
I very much admire Sam Vaknin for what he does. He must be a very intelligent man to actually be able to not only identify this situation but also seek his supply in a fashion that actually gives back some good. Some of what he says is extraordinarily self-aware for a narcissist. I know people have this knee-jerk reaction to him, disliking him at the get-go, and I was taken aback at first, about 4 years ago when I first watched that BBC documentary with him, and I first realized what was happening to me. But I truly believe that in his own way, he really is trying to help. I mean, seriously, he called narcissists a mistake, that's not something you'd expect to hear from one. I would absolutely love to see the whole documentary when it comes out. Thank you Richard (and everybody else) for this.
Completely agree
After 28 years finally had a psychotic break and he’s still here but I got help and I became more ashamed than ever I had thought I deserved it. He’s still abusing but I don’t engage. I’m waiting for a miracle. Just grateful that I’m still here and healing. I want to thank you for exposing the truth of narcissism. We all deserve better. This should be taught in mental health classes in junior and senior high. I feel chewed up and spit out by this. There’s always light we may have cracked but it lets the light in. Stay safe and get back to peaceful life 🕊
No contact. Absolutely perfect. That's why I'm so glad my narcissists are either dead or a thousand miles away. 😊
This is beautifully well done. So happy for you, Richard! Proud to be a subscriber and a listener. You are a true mentor to me. These videos help me to get through life every single day. I live with one and have been destabilized to the point of financial dependency on this individual. My life has been ripped apart on purpose. Thank you, Richard. I have love in my heart for you.
I could not agree more. I believe there are no coincidences... When I came across his videos he validated exactly what I already knew. He just nailed it! Since then my life has grown by leaps & bounds. I'm learning to take care of me now. It's ok to be me. He has saved my life & given me the courage to go "No Contact" with my parents. I no longer am my mothers victim nor will my son ever feel the way I did as a child. Thank you Richard for putting a name onto what I've experienced since birth. Hugs to you my friend!
Kris01 1118 Stay strong!!
Hope Sherman Thanks Hope!!! I am STRONG LIKE BULL!! Beat a PE, B Cancer, I got this.. or so I think lol
Hope Sherman I'm trying. 2yrs no contact & I look back at pictures where I was happy. I wonder if I'll ever get there again. They've stolen a chunk of who I am. It's my turn to figure out who this shell is now. I suffer from somatic symptoms. That's led to addiction. I'm sober. Sometimes I wonder is this worth it? My head says YES! & while I grieve (never learned how... mom gave me Xanax at 10 @ my aunts funeral) for 2 people who "moved to this state for me" Yea right! Are now moving! My life was full of triangulation & double binds. Richard is so right when he says "We are left with their voices playing over & over again. They go on... We're left a shell. I'll get through this. As you can tell some days are better than others. I'm 44 fn yrs old! I have no concept of looking in the future. I live day to day. They kept me so sheltered.... They won't win!!
no they wont win, you will win and thrive, you have support Kris01...
I just got out of a malignant narcissistic relationship. I was nearly becoming mentally disturbed and financially and emotionally bankrupt. Thanks God Almighty my family ,colleague and friends support me
i am in so much emotional pain i loved this person so much but they only love themselves
Jemma C
Me too. I know him more than anyone and he left and starting new life with someone else.
Me, too. It's been five years for me and I'm still trying to recover. He truly ruined my life.
Jemma C
Bottom line they are soulless and have 1 objective and that is to destroy good.
Stand strong.
Blessings
Jemma C they actually don't love themselves at all. They are selfish absolutely... But they do not like themselves.
They are unable to love. They can only mimic at best. Mine I felt was trying to kill me as well. Several times I thought he was poisoning me while married. Trying to divorce him was pure hell. We had a check together...and 6 years later still afraid of his power to control me.
I extremely enjoyed this video, 3 months out of a narcissistic relationship and yes like the woman in the video my life has been almost completely destroyed. At the age of 58, and being retired for 7 years I am seeking full-time employment to recover from the financial distruction this man has left me in. I do have a great support system, and actually am excited to move forward with the next chapter of my life, but I learned a lesson that will never be forgotten. I still have a lot of healing to do from this experience, but videos like the one I just viewed are helping me along my path. Thanks Again
Thank you I needed this today I cried like a baby. I spent ten years with one and lost my life became a hardcore drug addict and I am just now finally crawling back out of the mud a year with no contact.
My father is an extreme narcissistic. I was the scapegoat and it was a living hell.
Sam Vaknin is unusual inasmuch as he's brutally honest about his narcissism and takes ownership of it, which much be difficult for those who must be "perfect." I salute him for that. Most with NPD refuse to admit there's anything wrong with them, it's everybody else. 17 years have gone by since I cut off the supply and left my ex, taking with me our three small children, and I can now pity those with this condition because they are so horribly broken. These people will never feel the real emotions of love and comfort and compassion, which are what make life worth living. My ex is alone and pathetic and his adult children want nothing to do with him. This is a beautiful, sad and particularly insightful documentary.
Right so strange they like attention but not attention for that. lol
they should play this video at schools from day one in whole world.
True Narcissists are not aware in the real hard sense that they are narcissistic and will meet any attempt to tell them so with 'contempt' 'anger' or treat the suggestion with a roar of fake laughter. What makes this abuse painful is battling with people who miss an emotional chip in their brains.
orinoco webster not necessarily
Yep, that fake robotic laugh. Ugh
Thank you, Richard.
I've known this at an instinctual level, since childhood, that narcissism is a fearful, lonely place for the person who lives inside of it.
What I didn't know is that my love for my sick father would NEVER help him.
The same for any person who reminds me of him.
As my mind heals, after decades of trauma - familial home and subsequent relationships - I recognize that I became "less than" I am, in order to appease every narcissist in my life.
While I take responsibility for my part in my adult relationships, I recognize that I was "set up" by the original narcissist and my appeasing mother.
Your documentary brought up deep sadness for any narcissist, and a deeper sadness for SELF, considering what each part of the relationship has experienced to get to this place of knowledge and understanding.
I'm grateful for my healing. I remain sad for the pain (and rage/deep sadness) within each narcissist.
I've paid my dues. Moving on!
32 years, with the 'golden handcuffs' on. Getting ready to make my break.
Thank you. Shared. Narcissists destroy lives.
"Narcissistic Personality Disorder is like a Haunted House. You have to have Ghostbusters, not therapists." 🤔😆 Rings so true
True! In some cases, Love them anyway! and prove your own self worth.
Christine Goodwin More like exorcists than ghostbusters!
I really think that are demon possessed.
This seems accurate
Thank you so much for being a voice for us who have been subjected to this kind of cruelty. I have suffered severe NAVS since my early teens and its been a rough journey. I have now finally come to understand what its all about and Iam looking forward to a bright future living my life free from the heavy weight that this silent and totally detremental abuse has caused me. Thank you again
I see the narcissist as a weak-minded insecure human being that has an ego with an inferiority complex. The ones that were a couple years older they would pick on me when I was Young. But when I got older you realize there nobody's and then you smack them around a little bit and they cry like babies
You perfectly described em.
good insight but why to smack if they are already wounded
I wish someone would smack my husband around, because I can't, he's 3 times bigger than me. ...and the pain he's put me through, physical and emotional is unmeasurable.
The narc I want to smack around is 70 year old man, I’d end up in a ton of trouble
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"I believe that you believe it. It is completely irrelevant what you believe."
Ana Luiza this is so absolutely accurate
Wow yup
THIS IS SUMS IT UP PERFECTLY. This phrase made me feel so small when my boyfriend would say it to me.
Very well done, Richard. Good stuff. I watched your videos for 3 years and it saved me. I am still with my narcissist, he has not changed at all, unless you count he sometimes doesn't even care that I don't believe him. But staying helped me work through a lot of my issues, and now, he can't gaslight me. I always know what he's doing. He thinks I'm still in the dark, but that is because he's a narcissist. He never, speaks out of the way to me, he's never been physically abusive, not even slightly.
There might be real danger if I did decide to leave, but, thanks to you, I have my feet back under me, and I have most of my confidence back.
I had to work through a lot, but I am much stronger now, than I have ever been. Gotta hit bottom before you can bounce back up..
I can't thank you enough for the work you do. I've recently ended a relationship with a covert narcissist and your videos have been what has gotten me through the worst times. Sometimes I still feel like contacting him, but I play one of your videos instead. Your no bullshit approach mixed with humour makes it easier to connect with.
I don't bother trying to explain the abuse anymore, I just get strange looks, but I feel safe with your videos. Some nights have been so hard I've slept with them on auto-play.
So again, thank you! Without your videos I'm sure I would've ran back by now and continued the cycle.
Exactly how I feel
It's just easier being alone... That's my choice people are just so cruel. "Why cant we all just get along".
LOL AS IF YOU'RE THE ONE CAUSING ISSUES.
It's never the toxic behavior that is the issue...it's our human reaction/response to it
When I watch such videos where my feeling resonates, my anxiety increases for not doing anything against them, and I feel like loser.