0:02 Stating Today's Topic 1:55 What Does It Mean To Be Trauma Bonded? 4:18 How Can You Break The Trauma Bond? 9:18 You Have To Regularly Acknowledge How You Feel 15:29 You Have To Move Away From The Story 16:28 Why You Need To Heal Your CPTSD Part 1 21:14 Why You Need To Heal Your CPTSD Part 2 22:28 If You Do The Work, You'll Have Your Results 25:48 Wrapping Up
How awesome that you posted times for the different segments, as links. Never noticed if you do this on your other videos, but it was great for me with this one, as I wanted to re-listen to parts of it.. Thank you for making it so easy.
RICHARD GRANNON ...Thank you. I am ready. I watched this video (and many others) several years ago but wasn’t quite there. Despite your suggestion, I did not unsubscribe. This time round, I really heard you, it all made sense, I know I Am Ready. To Infinity and Beyond 🗽
What broke the bond for me was realizing that he could not change. He was physically and mentally unable to be any different than he was. We would never be able to grow, we couldn't move past it together, he would never change. He couldn't give me closure. He couldn't actually love. It just was what it was and I could go on like that forever or accept the way he was and walk away. Clean break.
Same here. He WAS the break. end of story. once we realize that we can save ourselves from endless misery and years of suffering. so, what then holds us back? that's something that needs to be examined. with brutal honesty.
Same here. For a second I thought you lived my experience and transcribed my thoughts. It was exactly at the moment I realised that he wasn’t going to step up, he wads t going to grow up, I left. That was then I realised I’ve wasted a decade of my life waiting around patiently.
I cant actually talk to anyone about how my relationship is with a narcissist. Because, they wouldn't understand or believe me. And if they did, I'd look like a fool for having stayed in it so long. So. I look at videos like yours to confirm my sanity. You have been an awesome help!!!!
Validation does help. Knowing you're not weak, you're not naive, the usual suspects we get IF anyone even listens. I gave up trying to get anyone to understand. They ain't been there they ain't gonna get it and they ain't gonna care. It's cost me friends but after what I've been through I don't much care. You're so not alone and vulnerable narcassists dont have much interest in those who are weak-willed or boring. It was tough and humbling to have to tell my family Hey, that amazing guy who thought I was so incredible and wanted to marry me, yadda yadda yadda? He was abusive. I'm done with him and oh, I'm badly damaged on top of it. The response has been basically, Huh, of course nobody that great would want you, get over it, and you can't possibly be that damaged. We are all we have. Ourselves and those others who have stepped in this minefield of pretty flowers. Be well, love yourself, let go of anyone ain't getting it. We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty!
The quick inhalation and posture shooting upright as soon ss they " start" the pan goes from cool to scalding in a flash..complete mentsl scramble..impulse if you haven't figured this brain cooking out yet..and the adrenaline..oh the sauce really takes its toll on the adrenals, processing capabilities, mental state..all of it, no?
"The way you're living now, is the way you'll be living in one years time". Wow that hit me. I don't want to be half dead anymore, one year has turned into 10 for me, time to wake up. Thank you Richard for the truth and reality check. This has been revelatory.
One year has turned into 4 and although I’ve done some work “some” is not enough! Half-alive isn’t enough. so thank you, “Infiniteriver93” for sharing! You contributed to me personally🙏🏼
Right on! infiniteriver93. I feel half dead to and it's been going on TOO long. Been stuck here for 5 years WTF. Just this last winter, I knew I needed to to work on myself and get down to the nitty gritty, I just didn't know how, where, and when. This pandemic, ironically, has allowed me to delve into my mental health because of social distancing. I couldn't be more happy. On the other hand, this pandemic has ruined people's lives and I feel for them. Thank you for posting and much love and healing to you and all.
Wery similar here. 48. Mum was a litlle baby narc in conparance with my "partner" with whom I am in 32 yrs in "partnership" and 20 yrs in marriage...ENOUGH!!! I really finaly want to live!
For me, the most important thing to understand and accept is that when a PD person treats you badly, those are _calculated and deliberate_ actions (mostly). The concept of a person looking directly into your eyes, professing their "love", briefly doing VERY nice things only to later suddenly bury a knife in your back, _REPEATEDLY,_ was previously unimaginable to me. The FATAL flaw in my thinking was that it was all due to a "situational awareness" problem for her, that she behaved nasty at times and just didn't realize it or see it. With me as a "fixer" and always trying to be cool & understanding, my heartfelt discussions about how hurtful and cruel she could be at times served PURELY to further educate her on my underlying psyche and taught her precisely how to deepen the already gaping and infected wounds. The astounding disorientation and confusion that arose within me later on when she again was acting nasty, and like we had never spoken a single word about it, is nearly indescribable. Looking back, I now see that *THE KEY* to it all, the answer to all of my "why? why? WHY'S?" was that it was simply premeditation. The one-sidedness of "our" discussions, her lack of response to ANY of it (aside from her weaponization of any new knowledge) - every bit of it is explained away when I tell myself that it was all on purpose. She had been like a cat nudging a half dead mouse, trying to get it to run, the ENTIRE time we were together. Flat out worst experience of my life being married to her for 10 years, but that shit will happen to me NO MORE. EVER.
BluntForceTrauma666 I totalny understand you. The same thing happened to me. I have been married to PD person for 33 years. It was just a relief to find all this material on you tube and educate myself.
Dude you just explained my exact bewilderment..!! I was married to her for 5 years but the damage is serious! It's been 15months since the split but my lizard brain still finds it hard to accept that she was a dick...
I just became very confused with my narcissist. I believe he was psychotic too. It was like I was the mirror and he would say back what I was doing as advice or he would project his inner anger. It was the most terrible. There was no sense to it. I thought he was a normal guy until I had daily exchanges that were loopy. So bizarre but I couldn't extract myself not knowing fully what it was and me, Ms logical. I soon had to go cold turkey, no contact. This included religious and sexual abuse. He thought he was Gods gift and one time when drunk said he was the voice of God. But of course it was my fault for not being Ms obedient no talk woman. I got out of that pretty fast but it's my long term narcissists, sister and brother that emerged surprisingly as my narcissist abusers, Jekyll and Hyde trauma bonded abusers. I still think cold turkey is the way to go with them as they verbally abuse me with Hyde and my ptsd gets bad and then tell me it's my fault. I can't seem to let go of the hope. And memory of my brother before his mind split. I am scapegoat. Obsessing.
That explains where I was and how I feel today. Very awesome comment that describes my 14 year and prior 10year relationships. I thought the last one would kill me. It didn't, I has made me learn, first about me, I had developed Narc behaviors so, I was pretty sure I was flawed badly, Then I learned the level of abuse I had been through and exactly how it happened. How I made things worse for myself and now I am working on me. Forgiveness for myself has been important. My renewed relationship with God has been most important. I put these men , even before God.
I worked in sales for many years. Thought I had met every type of person God created. And then I met her. She was everything. I was so vulnerable. What you describe is still SO gut-wrenching. No one is taught or trained or prepared for someone to love you and hate you at the same time. Life has to make sense. People have to make sense....and be authentic with all their gifts and flaws. To meet someone who is a truly a gift, who gets you, who offers an intimacy that is beyond the pale, who says beautiful things without saying anything, and then one day, changes. Her words became cold and without emotion. She disappeared without explanation. She seems distant. My world became dark. And there was no reason, no sense, no answer to the many why's. No explanation, no one to talk to about, and no way to overcome emotion even though it objectively makes no sense. I still cant believe what has happened, all because I cared and became very fond of someone who I believed needed to be loved.
Thank you for addressing the whole group/tribal toxicity that exists between many people who end up just bitching and enabling each other. I tried to join a few narcissist recovery forums and they were so terrible. It was a big glob of whining and nowhere dead-endedness. There is a time for empathy and compassion, but if all you're doing is sitting in a hole with a bunch of other people who are as damaged and lost as you are, it's silliness. So, thanks for addressing this, Richard.
"I'm really more of....I'm an engineer. I want to get inside of the engine, and I wanna fix it! I don't want to talk vague concepts and circle jerk bubble wanks about unicorn chi and quantum leaping for the rest of my days." 🤣🤣🤗 Thank you Richard. We appreciate your passion and commitment to pushing us through the hard stuff.
He truly is a genius who doesn't give himself enough credit....he deserves appreciation & gratitude from us.... especially making the course FREE! I've studied this stuff all my life & therapy is worthless (in the US). No matter the skill of the therapist, the system isn't set up to heal people, mentally or physically. This is a tremendous gift to anyone who truly wants to heal & move on in life! Peace&love❤❤✌✌
If someone is scared of pain after breaking up I can tell you from my own experience, pain is enormous after you left but it is incomparably light to the one you were going through every day in that abusive relationship. Do it for yourself, I did and it is long time to my full recovery but I know I'm on the right path and with help of friends and Richard and whoever you think can support you, do it! Richard, you opened my eyes and kicked my ass to move on and thank you will never be enough! But...thank you so very much!
Yes, every victim of narcissistic abuse has to get to the point where the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving. Dealing with flashbacks and residual confusion is far easier than the daily verbal and emotional abuse, cheating, etc.
Listen to him!!! The Power of your mind can Heal your Heart!!!!! Take your control back!!! When you’re ready you’ll do it!!!💪🏻Tough Luv it works.... Stop living in the past in pain and live in the present in happiness 🤗
YOU ARE TRULY F'ING AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO!! you've given me strength. You've given me clarity. You've given me hope. Thank you, with all my heart and soul 🤗
connectingTheDots - yes! A lot of them are filled with codependents who need to get out and heal completely. If they leave and do not do the work to heal they will get into another one. Trauma bonded.
It’s infinitely harder to overcome the bond when you were the one discarded. Because you keep feeling the rejection more than the fact that the person was utterly immature and disrespectful. The way someone leaves you tells you everything about them.
Yes, I think being discarded is harder to get over than being the one that walked away… I agree, the the rejection is very hard to get over because it makes you feel like YOU were the one to blame for the break up but that’s what the narc wants you to feel!! They walk away as if they are innocent when in all reality they caused the argument/fight that ended in them discarding you. We, the discarded have to remember and keep telling ourselves that we did nothing wrong other than be a normal person, it’s the narcs that aren’t normal… they can’t take the slightest of criticism, and the idea of them being a failure in anything is horrific to them, they have to be admired, centre of attention, always right and they will hold a grudge for eternity, punish you for the slightest thing that they believe you’ve done wrong to them… silent treatment is a favourite or withholding things from you ie, if you share a car they won’t let you use it until they say you can. I spent 37 years married to a narcissist, suffered mental and physical abuse, the cruelty of these people is inhumane… but, it gives them great pleasure and power to see their partners/spouses suffering. These so called people deserve to rot in hell for the pain they inflict on others for pleasure, they have no feelings whatsoever, so, I have to keep reminding myself of all these terrible things when I start to doubt myself about who’s to blame for the discard. They don’t deserve to be happy, they actually don’t know how to be truth be told, they are never satisfied with what they’ve got. ESPECIALLY if they can’t control it. Sorry for the long comment, there’s a lot more I could write but I’ll stop now, anyone who has lived with or has had a relationship with a narcissist will relate 100% with this comment.
@@Oceansgreenthank you for your comment ! I appreciate your strength. I’m 26 YEARS into this marriage and it’s disaster. Fml But I will get over it and love again.
It’s an addiction like any other addiction and can be treated the same way Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over other people . Our life had become unmanageable Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
Thanks for all you do Richard! Your material is a life saver and got me through the toughest time of my life. Emotional literacy and grieving is hard work but it really pays off because it works! I'd still be lost and maybe dead if I'd never found your work. Still healing but damn it feels good to be living and not just surviving.. Much love and respect
Richard that may have been the best vid I've seen on the context of what you were speaking. Thank you. Been struggling with this now almost 2 years. I feel that knowing what it is and what caused it is not enough anymore...( I feel highly educated on the subject yet I still feel "stuck"). I really appreciate the fact that I stumbled across your Channel today.
Richard, having viewed this video yesterday I was pondering on whether the emotional literacy problem could not only be the result of overanalysis & but also gaslighting. Perhaps some people concentrate on analysing their thoughts instead of dealing with their emotions but could it be that, after being subjected to gaslighting & not being able to trust metacommunication from others, a person with CPTSD could be unclear as to the intentions & signals of those around them so struggle with emotional literacy?
yeah, the emotional flashbacks will make it hard to know how you actually feel about something, if that makes any sens lol. The gaslighting creates cognitive dissonance. We end up doubting ourselves over everything, including what we feel.
Feeling my feelings. Right on. I have finally let myself cry. I cry at the drop of a hat now and I don't give a fuck. I laugh too and that is much more acceptable outwardly. I just decided that I refuse to carry this shit around and stuff it down. I refuse to self medicate to keep it from escaping. If I process the things that make me cry when they happen I'm free. I've spent my life stuffing feelings and they are kicking my ass. Done! Richard you are fucking refreshing! You make me think. Like about being an adult. I realized I'm a pissed off teenager and I'm almost 60. That isn't working too well for me. I will consider what an adult looks like and try it. I appreciate the time and effort you put into your videos. You are someone I can relate to on many levels!
THEY CANT BE SAVED! Geez. It's amazing from the beginning how this predatory person paints themselves as a victim. It's insane how intelligent I am and yet how this fucking works on me over and over
Sad, isn't it. They're capable of tricking anyone. It's up to us to absolve ourselves of shame in order to recover. They win us over by looks or charm or responsiveness, then play the victim card, then beat you with a stick (hopefully metaphorically) and keep you there as you're feeling sorry for them. You can't leave because they said they fear being abandoned. You either want to prove them wrong or not prove them right (kinda different things in my mind), so you tolerate the misery in hope they'll get better. But they don't.
Thank you Richard !! After realizing at age 60 that my father, brother and sister are all covert narcissists I then realized how messed up I am. I very much appreciate the healing tools your providing for free.
I was surprised by how comforting it was to hear that you ended up with a narcissist twice. I felt a lot of shame from being with one (and even taking him back once), thinking that I had learned, and then the next relationship was with another narcissist. They seemed like opposites in some ways, yet they were uncannily similar with regards to their reactions to things and ways of making me feel like less than I am. Thanks. While I still feel like I've "lost my muchness" in some ways, my shame feels like it has lightened considerably.
JoRiver11 Big hug! So hard to deal with them. But you are so big, you’re an empath! Never forget how big you are while you work thru this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you’ll find it’s you, always has been🙂
JoRiver thank you for sharing! I too had the same experience I went from one Narcissist to an even worse one exactly like you described! It's mind blowing!
I’m pretty sure my mom is a narc so all I can think is a toxic situation was normal for me. I got married to two narcs. I didn’t know what one was. I’m divorced now thank god. I’m just trying to heal now. It’s been quite a journey.
It’s been 2/3 months since I’ve completed the emotional literacy course and when there are times I fall back into old habits my subconscious is ready to whip me back into reality. I’m so fascinated looking at the comments and seeing the people from all walks of life and backgrounds attesting to the horrors of co-dependancy and coming through the other side. I’m so proud of the fact that I can feel my feelings without freaking out that they’re actually there, or freaking out in general, freezing and fawning. Everyday I’m in awe of the person I was a year ago compared to who I am today and I owe it all to you.
LaLabutterfly I'm still looking(ish) into psychology. I'm just glad to know what I'm feeling and why. Sometimes I feel certain ways and can't understand why. Now I can see "oh, that person said that which caused that which I interpreted as this etc." Now I can see it as its happening and defuse whatever situations before they happen. The only negative is the internet throws a broad net for narcissism so it's easy to get lost in that. Instead I just understand no one is perfect and "live and let live so of thing"
Did this really happen to me? These videos and reading articles and learning more about narcissistic abuse makes me feel like it did, but I still have feelings of me being delusional or emotional crazy and obsessive.
14:58 - You just hit the motherlode Richard! Thank you for all your hard work, you're a recovery hero and you deserve loads more recognition for your insight & approach. Think I'm a fangirl! X
Thank you Richard. You will never know me and know what this video has done for my life. I have been searching you tube every day watching videos on narcissism and nothing hit me like this. I was still looking for stuff to put on the map!!!!!! I get it now, it has NOTHING to do with the map. No one gave a shit about me growing up which led to me falling victim to these narcs over and over. Trying to erase what happened to me as a kid by filling these soulless narcs up with a never ending supply of love just to watch them keep flushing it down the shitter. When the answer ALL ALONG was to keep giving MYSELF!!!!!!! a never ending supply of love and kindness and to steer clear of anyone who didn’t treat me with that exact same love and kindness!!!!! Tables have turned people it is not egotistical or selfish or arrogant to love yourself when you are a kind, caring, empathetic, beautiful human being. Thanks again Richard!!
Heather B People get stuck in the rut of rehashing and repeated analyzing. Myself included. Press forward, sail/fly through the storms. Chop off the dead weight.
Bloody hell! I had never even heard of CPTSD before. I've been looking for this stuff for years. I think there might actually be a way out. Thank you very much indeed.
Thanks Richard for being consistently rooted in reality and ownership. Can’t blame others for hurting us, more than blaming ourselves for NOT protecting one’s self.
DBT worked for me. But I had to do the program (seriously) for 2 years and spent time in the psych ward in the middle. I think I have an unhealthy attachment to Richard since he’s been “with me” the whole time... especially in the beginning before I “grew up.” I still flashback and feel that inner teen. But now I’m aware. And it’s just annoying and something I will work on for life. Including the shame of feeling like I’m still a teenager since I have to work hard to feel and act like a sovereign adult... still. Radical acceptance ✊🏻
ANTIJPUG ... no. DBT was developed with borderline PD in mind, but it’s now used to treat lots of conditions with core problems linked to emotional regulation and self harm including mood disorders, substance abuse disorders, eating disorders, and PTSD
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Face the truth. Brutal honesty. Acknowledge the pain. Radical acceptable will lead to real lasting healing. Growing up is hard to do go for it or stay stuck.
This is the truth. I didn’t want to face the fear & do what I have to do because of my own shame & very real cptsd, but enough damage has motivated me now. Don’t wait for the damage to motivate. I am a serial truster & my hope dies hard. I was lucky to have a healthy romantic relationship for decades but fell right into the old patterns of getting trapped by covert narcissists as soon as I was single again. The crimes against me are so bad that my ptsd has kept me from seeking justice. I must stop him. These videos & comments help.
Even when they breakup, they can't say, yeah I can't do this anymore, all the best for the future. They have to make it ugly with trauma, hoping you will respond with aggression to get their final narcissistic supply.
The illustration of Hannibal Lecter and the psychopath with the fake broken arm are both VERY apt. This was exactly how I was conned into his snare. Made to feel like he was someone to be pitied, someone that I could trust and feel empathy for... someone human and flawed. My heart went out to him from the start and that is how he reeled me in.
Amy Kitchens It was truthful genius. I had to watch it twice and just signed up for the course. This stuff is science surreal fiction. I wish there was a way we could all meet and support each other besides over the fiber. Hang in there.
Yes me too-pitiful childhood and the biggest victim in the room. Impeccable persona, despicable person. Well known lawyer in Denver. Consider yourself warned.
Silence, hesitation, diverting the convo - these were the signs for me to realise the narc was sleeping with the ‘ex’ and led to my radical acceptance and moving on with my life...your material over the last 4 months been immensely useful I feel empowered to progress one day at a time knowing that I’m free from lies, desertion and disrespect 🙏🏻
Absolutely raw and brilliant. So tired of forums where people rant and complain about what has been DONE to them. Unsubbed to all of them. The work on self is where it’s at! You rock! We all need a wake up call and tough productive love.
Thank you so much for making this video. Your straightforward and honest "I can't save you from pain" really helped me find the courage to move forward and accept all my feelings. I'm definitely ready to process my grief and thank you for emphasizing that it's not a one time fix but something we must choose to do everyday.
Thanks for this video* Thank you for sharing and being blunt, I needed this and i think there are a lot of others out there who also do.Most videos on narcissistic abuse healing are all about compassion etc and yes thats necessary but ive felt stuck in the victim mentality so long and watchinng videos like this has sort of become an obsession though i never feel healed. I just feel my reality validated, relieved that im not crazy, and then i go back to victim state. Sometimes you need someone to just bluntly tell you, stop sulking and do something abt it 😋 Anyway. Thanks
Thank you so much Richard. I can't express how moved I am right now, but I'm crying from a sense of expansive relief at the willingness I feel to truly move forward, suffering and all. You have laid it out with such powerful clarity. I appreciate you! (edit) Ps.. I'm signing up right now :)
Thank you Richard, I stayed with you throughout this video, you were ‘speaking’ to me and I ‘heard’ you, I listened and I understood- several ah ha moments ! I looked for the free course the other day but will try again. Loved the presentation today ( because you are so passionate you go off on a tangent and loose me usually) Thank you for all your videos I really appreciate your work and the time you must put into them. X
Can’t even tell you how much this helped me. I am in so much pain but carry on like a soldier pretending I am completely fine. Love the honesty. I have been watching you videos for a year now and like this one the best. Thank-you Richard!!
“Spiritually speaking my hair and my teeth are falling out”-brilliant. It’s sometimes hard to pinpoint what the hell is missing or atrophying during/after an experience like that. You can’t say you’re dysfunctional necessarily, or *seem* different at any given point. The person experiencing it /knows/ they’re hair and teeth I’d falling out but no one need notice: it could actually lead to emotional crippling and maybe no one would know. You could simply fade away.
Thank you ever so much Richard for sharing your enormous knowledge and profound wisdom!! And thank you equally as much for your crystal clear no shit straight forwardness as well genuine compassion!! All the best!!
..but look at the map.. so made me laugh. It has been important for me to see the map. I am an idea oriented individual. So for me my ideas / words are the door to my emotions. And I can step back through and close the door if I feel unsafe. Damn my defence mechanisms are good.
Science based.. YES! I was once sent to a religion based counseling center where I was basically told I should be happy because I am a human and humans are inherently special. Didn’t really help my self loathing and binge drinking that I was self medicating with.
ok, i'm new to your channel, i am just now looking into my narcissistic family, even tho they drove me insane... i guess i just didn't know where to look into the seeming myriad problems i have... and to stop thinking about ONE person? my whole family was trying to destroy me! so i can't do the trauma bond with just one person right, coz there are many lol... i'll go and look for that free course, coz my PTSD is bad, i'm triggered by seemingly everything, all the time. i would very much like to relieve that, you're right. thank you so much... just curious tho, why can't one pray?
I respect your hard honesty about no more handholding, we do the work or go home. I have spent decades trying to heal my monstrous child abuse, and I am as sick of working for nothing as you are! I can't believe the number of therapists I have gone through and NOT ONE figured out even the basics of my childhood trauma. As a child I vowed to never be mistreated again, so my relationships have been short because I disengage at first sign of abuse. I've had a couple Narcs get me (because they come in different forms) but not for long. So my problem is getting worse because of severe loneliness because each man I attract shows his fangs and I'm outa there! I want to heal my trauma so I am no longer a "creep magnet". I don't know why I trip their radar, but I do. I'm great about turning them away, which is fortunate, but I have NEVER gotten a "good guy". What's weird is I have wonderful, healthy platonic friendships, some lifelong. I have great friends that are normal with non-toxic lives. But the minute a man likes me, I think "okay, what's wrong with this one." Damn I hate being right all the time. Richie, bring it hon, give me your worst. I will do any work you say, doing a headstand while dangling naked from the town clock while singing the national anthem and plucking feathers from a goose. Best client EVER!
Wildrose12. Same here about narcs men that seems to know im an empath besides others so I just stay alone with my cats ,daughter and I rather that than be victim again was to too many I learned from experience from my so call insane family which most majority are so criminally insane
I thought I was over my narc I was 1 and half years no contact he died and I am still grieving he died 5 months ago when i was made aware he died I felt that trauma bond break. My world felt completely different.
I think the map phase is an important early stage to healing before you can get to the "feeling your feelings" part. Many people leaving a cult of a family or a religion go through this phase of intense study. I believe it is the mind trying to adapt to a completely different worldview. It's very important to the mind to be able to make logical sense of the world. Before you go through it, you feel like you don't even have the right to have feelings, like "Why should I be mad at the [truly abusive] cult leader? He's the representative of God!" Only when you are convinced with logic that he is abusive by nonbiased widely accepted standards do you feel like you have the right to feelings of anger or sadness.
Ruki Sar the map phase describes the problem rather than fixing it. Eg my motorbike crashed because blah blah but the fixing it is another matter. The map comes before the decision to change I feel
Can a narc heal? If so, how can I tell if he's really doing the work? I'll be getting the course, so I'm guessing this would take care of itself if I do the work?
Yes, it is important to note the map thing (great metaphor) is a necessary phase, of leaning and understanding. But then there comes a time to heal Self 💗
Richard, straight up, thank you. It is about taking responsibility for your self- healing. Commit to this, drop the story, feel the pain, grow yourself up ... Thanks for the tools, and the talks. Life saveing. Big thank you.
OMG! Minute 16:13 and on hit me hard with the pouring love, more love into them to soothe their childhood and how they play the hurt victim and not knowing what love is. That is my story!!! This video has been so eye opening for me, wow! Thank you so much because when we are in it, we don’t see it. I am watching it over and over again, and this is helping me towards healing. Thank you Richard for this video! 💕
I had to pause the video at around 15.15 to process tears. The lambs had not stopped screaming in my head from the childhood trauma. I tried to help him with his pain. All I did was hurt myself more. The only way out is through was my mantra for everyone but myself. Thank you for everything you do.
Thanks Richard for what you do! Now that I have escaped my oubliette, and my hair is coming back in, and my teeth are getting fixed, I can learn to love again; and, I really LOVE that watch! LOL! Best short to date ...Really like your StrengthOfMind stuff too. Keep up the great work. Peace.
Pour more love into the gargling drainpipe!!😜lmao!! Have been ruminating a lifetime trying to understand and make sense of it all...heard somewhere..."you cant understand or make sense their behavior cause....IT'S CRAZY AND I DON'T THINK THAT WAY... SO WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND "🤔 Very freeing after a lifetime trying to understand what i said/did/didn't do to deserve such treatment!!.😖 I was there...if it wasn't me it would be someone else...not REALLY personal...though it feels like it was😏
RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH I've been researching NAS and complex CPST for about two years. I'm literally starting to cry because I'm so happy to find some common sense work that can be done. I use to be a nurse,of course 18 years married to cerebral narcopath just destroyed everything I worked so hard for. But no stories. Over him but he's still got financial crap I depend on now that narc abuse caused me so much mental anguish that I am now on social security. He got my kid two years ago because of my inability to be there for him emotionally. At the time my son left (suicidal and blames me, mothers worse than worst nightmare), in such despair asked a person whom was not working if he could sit w me. Five months later dating off and on two years. Malignant somatic covert dark tetrad. If that's even possible. = toxic shame, triangulation, blackouts, flashbacks, well, c-Ptsd worse than ever. Four years of simultaneous re victimization, tons of grief, police uneducated and victim shaming to the point of laughing at me as they walked away. Physical crap and the worst gaslighting ever, stolen iPhone x3 broken damage to properties. AND I AM STILL GOING BACK TO HIM.can't press charges I'm too gooey. 4of 5 trauma bonds. I am an hour just existing living a dreadful life. And I am elated and can give my poor worried mother a respit. The loneliness I think keeps me going back. I had to get rid of everyone in my life who was toxic. So all . And all family has abandoned me except for my mom who I haven't seen because anxiety agoraphobia and social anxiety rule my life. God bless yu Richard. Quick question. I have such avoidance behavior grief anger and self sabotage behaviors that I can see me screwing this up royally. I have literally no one! To even yell at me to get it done. I mean it's so bad I already know. So do u have anything I can do about that so I can get this shit done. I'm ready to live my life.
Dear Richard, Would you consider doing even a short vid on WHY you do what you do now? I came to know your work in trying to discover what I'd learn from you was a NPDisordered headf*ck. I purchased some of your work. However, I am BPD, you have nothing good to say about my kind (only the mercy to acknowledge it as merely an Emotional Response Dysregulation) yet ignorantly & incorrectly deem us ALL narcs. In truth, it seems to me you've been "butthurt" (phrase just current colloquialism, not intended to invalidate your experiences✌🏻) by-as you admit 2ex's- with, I anticipate BPD women, as you're keen enough to talk of Tudor, or work with Vaknin, self proclaimed narcs. Never however with other "Cluster B's" as you insist on calling them. You're a pretty narcissist man yourself, it's part of your magnetism. Maybe you're not so self aware though, don't you understand to completely reject something within the human condition is to reject it within yourself?, so are you prepared to do the work? Or are you just going to carry on charging high prices to vulnerable people based on the experiences of 2 bad relationships with girls who just so happened to be mentally ill? That's the Raven Paradox Richie; 'I went with 2girls who had personality disorder conditions, & it was a bad experience for me, therefore, ALL ppl with personality disorder conditions will be /are a bad experience.No! Just... NO! I have BPD, I don't have any of the other disorders under the Cluster B category; so quit telling everyone I'm a narc to be avoided-it's ignorant slander! I actually like you, been a loyal fan & customer for years but of course; I'm Cluster B so f me right? 😒 Making a profit on how to handle getting over a Cluster B ex, career catharsis huh, except you're not over it yourself, it's your day job, you're a witty, more grandiose Angie Atkinson. Guess your videos aren't for me no, most tell me I'm "cold blooded" & to be avoided. Who's the cold blooded 1 there? C'mon Richie, truth time...✌🏻😕.. With genuine curiosity, concern & love, Gilly🕊️
20:23 "must feel your feelings" What if at some point I shut my true feelings down within my limbic brain and started simulating 'feeling' within my neo-cortex as a control mechnism. How to really truely feel your feelings and clear blocks to fully feel again? Is there a course or technique for that?
Hi Richard : I cant believe those lunkheads try to feed you crap for whatever reason . Your youtube channel has most likely had the biggest impact in identifying the narcissistic abuse that had enslaved and tormented me for years and most likely help save my life. practically gone is the inner critic along with most of the Complex PTSD Response . To be free from all that crap is almost beyond belief but it can be done . thank you ever so much : bother of the snake
Dear Richard, I want to to purchase the Seminar "Break Trauma Bond With Enhanced Emotional Literacy". The link doesn't seem to work. Is it the same as the "Emotional Literacy Course"? Thank you.
Great video Richard! I don't think we hear nearly enough about how our own character and grit work to heal us. Appreciate all that you do and have done to bring clarity to a problem that thrives on confusion.
I want to heal, I do. And I know he was sick and that I am a reasonable and empathic person, and that the things that happened were not my fault. But what if you made a choice, pushed and manipulated by the narcissist, that meant an enormous change and sacrifice for you? What if you lost something you can never get back, because you can't turn back time? I think I could have healed from the abuse itself, even if it is so difficult to acknowledge the existance of people who don't care how you feel, when you loved them. But having sacrificed my own happiness for someone like that... How does one ever heal from there?
EscargoTouChaud no one can actually take your happiness from you, you have to do the work. I don’t believe happiness is in the hands of others it’s up to you if you want to do something about it .
To help yourself heal look up Dr Joe Dispenza It is more work on loving your self . It takes commitment just as Richard-work does I love love both of them !
Not angry at all!! Actually in first part of active healing process and in fact quite proud of myself with my (your) new tools and now addicted to you (oh dear!)😂
I'm having trouble accepting and processing my jealousy towards other women, basically any one who is my peer, as she could be a competitor for my ex's attention while he is out making the rounds (the truth of why he left me, which he tried to disguise as "going to be alone to work on himself" HA!). And I know this jealousy has to do with my own insecurity, and not actually wanting to be one of the girls he is now using for supply.
Thats where im at, 43 yrs of him doing and saying horrible insensitive things,then when i say something he calls me names and then switches the subject to him, my being so young 13 he was 21 then i was so confused it killed me when he would say i wasnt doing xyz yet i was running in circles. so then after it happeneing over and over abuse breaking my nose choking me knocking me to the ground tackle style ifi tried to leave, then the silence like you dont matter. using his buddies as a shame tool. im just about to turn 56 and want out he wont ever be a real loving man, im stuck in a tiny town surrounded by his minions.no one knows the hell ive been through well my kids know some ,but he made me feel so guilty or shame me i was worried to even say anything . how do i get stronger in my mind to leave to not worry about what he will do.
JAYNEmM1962 If you fear for your physical safety, connect with friends, family, law enforcement, etc. Make a plan and be very careful who you tell. Only those who need to know and you trust implicitly. If he’s physically violent with either of you already, definitely contact law enforcement for a possible order of protection. Battered women’s groups are also a place you can contact for resources. Don’t let him know of your plans in advance. Good luck!
Thank you so much you have given me the techniques and skills to grow up at last !!! Very “pretty cool!!!!” Since you “magically” appeared on my UA-cam feed I have developed a awareness of where my fear anxiety which has incapacitated and disempowered me since childhood arose I.e emotional flashbacks. Trying to deal with this condition on an intellectual level through self help spiritual searching philosophical thinking did not touch the fundamental damage causing only more frustration and confusion. Obviously much I had learnt up to your videos prepared me for acceptance and understanding of your teachings so the pup 🙏🧘🏻♀️xx
Hi...this is your best yet!! Watched you for a while, and have got your stuff..however, today was a red flag day for me. Yeh ive been abused physically and mentally..and ive just admitted it now, sat on the bus going to the gym..wow..!! So brainwashed i couldnt admit it..this raw, but you made me laugh and feel tearfull..not through sadness, but through the "curtain" being pulled back..thanks Richard, keep it real, you say it as it is..and if people just need a constant prop, well they will never move on..Take care
Thank you. Im getting better. Im relieved to find this help after so many wrong fits, this fits... cptsd pete walker helped a great deal as well. I tell everyone about the channel. THANK YOU for the endless hours you devote and genuine compassion you have for this.
0:02 Stating Today's Topic
1:55 What Does It Mean To Be Trauma Bonded?
4:18 How Can You Break The Trauma Bond?
9:18 You Have To Regularly Acknowledge How You Feel
15:29 You Have To Move Away From The Story
16:28 Why You Need To Heal Your CPTSD Part 1
21:14 Why You Need To Heal Your CPTSD Part 2
22:28 If You Do The Work, You'll Have Your Results
25:48 Wrapping Up
How awesome that you posted times for the different segments, as links. Never noticed if you do this on your other videos, but it was great for me with this one, as I wanted to re-listen to parts of it.. Thank you for making it so easy.
WHAT is the website to which u r referring?
So excited! Thank you!!!
Susan Washington yeah I didn’t catch the website either
RICHARD GRANNON ...Thank you. I am ready. I watched this video (and many others) several years ago but wasn’t quite there. Despite your suggestion, I did not unsubscribe. This time round, I really heard you, it all made sense, I know I Am Ready. To Infinity and Beyond 🗽
What broke the bond for me was realizing that he could not change. He was physically and mentally unable to be any different than he was. We would never be able to grow, we couldn't move past it together, he would never change. He couldn't give me closure. He couldn't actually love. It just was what it was and I could go on like that forever or accept the way he was and walk away. Clean break.
Same here. He WAS the break. end of story.
once we realize that we can save ourselves from endless misery and years of suffering.
so, what then holds us back?
that's something that needs to be examined. with brutal honesty.
Same!..... but didnt broke the bond yet 🥲
Same here. For a second I thought you lived my experience and transcribed my thoughts. It was exactly at the moment I realised that he wasn’t going to step up, he wads t going to grow up, I left. That was then I realised I’ve wasted a decade of my life waiting around patiently.
Exactly.
😢
I cant actually talk to anyone about how my relationship is with a narcissist. Because, they wouldn't understand or believe me. And if they did, I'd look like a fool for having stayed in it so long. So. I look at videos like yours to confirm my sanity. You have been an awesome help!!!!
People don't understand it , you look and sound like a lunatic
Validation does help. Knowing you're not weak, you're not naive, the usual suspects we get IF anyone even listens. I gave up trying to get anyone to understand. They ain't been there they ain't gonna get it and they ain't gonna care. It's cost me friends but after what I've been through I don't much care. You're so not alone and vulnerable narcassists dont have much interest in those who are weak-willed or boring. It was tough and humbling to have to tell my family Hey, that amazing guy who thought I was so incredible and wanted to marry me, yadda yadda yadda? He was abusive. I'm done with him and oh, I'm badly damaged on top of it. The response has been basically, Huh, of course nobody that great would want you, get over it, and you can't possibly be that damaged. We are all we have. Ourselves and those others who have stepped in this minefield of pretty flowers. Be well, love yourself, let go of anyone ain't getting it. We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty!
You are so right. PTSD is real. The abuse made my brains scrambled eggs.
Michaela Dalton that’s so crazy you said scrambled eggs because that’s exactly the words I use to describe it!!!!! Ugh!!
I feel you!! I hope you'll become better...
Me too!! We’re all going mad together 🤪😭🤪😘
Same. Uplifting vibes to you from us who've known it
The quick inhalation and posture shooting upright as soon ss they
" start" the pan goes from cool to scalding in a flash..complete mentsl scramble..impulse if you haven't figured this brain cooking out yet..and the adrenaline..oh the sauce really takes its toll on the adrenals, processing capabilities, mental state..all of it, no?
Thank you:
1. Healing from codependency
2. Healing from CTPSD
3. Healing emotional flashbacks
I’m with you!!
Me too...horrendous dreams
God is dreaming part of it it's been 5 yrs and I'm bascksesting my relationship with actually pnlt normal good guy and doesn't feel good to me xx
"The way you're living now, is the way you'll be living in one years time". Wow that hit me. I don't want to be half dead anymore, one year has turned into 10 for me, time to wake up. Thank you Richard for the truth and reality check. This has been revelatory.
One year has turned into 4 and although I’ve done some work “some” is not enough! Half-alive isn’t enough. so thank you, “Infiniteriver93” for sharing! You contributed to me personally🙏🏼
infiniteriver93 it’s incredibly true... 😖
one year turned to 14 as of 7/2020
PRO FOUND quote "The way you're living now..."
Right on! infiniteriver93. I feel half dead to and it's been going on TOO long. Been stuck here for 5 years WTF. Just this last winter, I knew I needed to to work on myself and get down to the nitty gritty, I just didn't know how, where, and when. This pandemic, ironically, has allowed me to delve into my mental health because of social distancing. I couldn't be more happy. On the other hand, this pandemic has ruined people's lives and I feel for them. Thank you for posting and much love and healing to you and all.
About time !!!! I am 56, had a demanding mom and now a narcissist husband for 30 years !! ENOUGH ! E N O U G H !!!!!!
I want to live !
God bless you 🙏
Wery similar here. 48. Mum was a litlle baby narc in conparance with my "partner" with whom I am in 32 yrs in "partnership" and 20 yrs in marriage...ENOUGH!!! I really finaly want to live!
His 30 day challenge is remarkable.
Sorry ma’am ......
For me, the most important thing to understand and accept is that when a PD person treats you badly, those are _calculated and deliberate_ actions (mostly). The concept of a person looking directly into your eyes, professing their "love", briefly doing VERY nice things only to later suddenly bury a knife in your back, _REPEATEDLY,_ was previously unimaginable to me. The FATAL flaw in my thinking was that it was all due to a "situational awareness" problem for her, that she behaved nasty at times and just didn't realize it or see it. With me as a "fixer" and always trying to be cool & understanding, my heartfelt discussions about how hurtful and cruel she could be at times served PURELY to further educate her on my underlying psyche and taught her precisely how to deepen the already gaping and infected wounds. The astounding disorientation and confusion that arose within me later on when she again was acting nasty, and like we had never spoken a single word about it, is nearly indescribable. Looking back, I now see that *THE KEY* to it all, the answer to all of my "why? why? WHY'S?" was that it was simply premeditation. The one-sidedness of "our" discussions, her lack of response to ANY of it (aside from her weaponization of any new knowledge) - every bit of it is explained away when I tell myself that it was all on purpose. She had been like a cat nudging a half dead mouse, trying to get it to run, the ENTIRE time we were together. Flat out worst experience of my life being married to her for 10 years, but that shit will happen to me NO MORE. EVER.
BluntForceTrauma666 I totalny understand you. The same thing happened to me. I have been married to PD person for 33 years. It was just a relief to find all this material on you tube and educate myself.
Dude you just explained my exact bewilderment..!! I was married to her for 5 years but the damage is serious! It's been 15months since the split but my lizard brain still finds it hard to accept that she was a dick...
I just became very confused with my narcissist. I believe he was psychotic too. It was like I was the mirror and he would say back what I was doing as advice or he would project his inner anger. It was the most terrible. There was no sense to it. I thought he was a normal guy until I had daily exchanges that were loopy. So bizarre but I couldn't extract myself not knowing fully what it was and me, Ms logical. I soon had to go cold turkey, no contact. This included religious and sexual abuse. He thought he was Gods gift and one time when drunk said he was the voice of God. But of course it was my fault for not being Ms obedient no talk woman. I got out of that pretty fast but it's my long term narcissists, sister and brother that emerged surprisingly as my narcissist abusers, Jekyll and Hyde trauma bonded abusers. I still think cold turkey is the way to go with them as they verbally abuse me with Hyde and my ptsd gets bad and then tell me it's my fault. I can't seem to let go of the hope. And memory of my brother before his mind split. I am scapegoat. Obsessing.
That explains where I was and how I feel today. Very awesome comment that describes my 14 year and prior 10year relationships. I thought the last one would kill me. It didn't, I has made me learn, first about me, I had developed Narc behaviors so, I was pretty sure I was flawed badly, Then I learned the level of abuse I had been through and exactly how it happened. How I made things worse for myself and now I am working on me. Forgiveness for myself has been important. My renewed relationship with God has been most important. I put these men , even before God.
I worked in sales for many years. Thought I had met every type of person God created. And then I met her. She was everything. I was so vulnerable. What you describe is still SO gut-wrenching. No one is taught or trained or prepared for someone to love you and hate you at the same time. Life has to make sense. People have to make sense....and be authentic with all their gifts and flaws. To meet someone who is a truly a gift, who gets you, who offers an intimacy that is beyond the pale, who says beautiful things without saying anything, and then one day, changes. Her words became cold and without emotion. She disappeared without explanation. She seems distant. My world became dark. And there was no reason, no sense, no answer to the many why's. No explanation, no one to talk to about, and no way to overcome emotion even though it objectively makes no sense. I still cant believe what has happened, all because I cared and became very fond of someone who I believed needed to be loved.
Thank you for addressing the whole group/tribal toxicity that exists between many people who end up just bitching and enabling each other. I tried to join a few narcissist recovery forums and they were so terrible. It was a big glob of whining and nowhere dead-endedness. There is a time for empathy and compassion, but if all you're doing is sitting in a hole with a bunch of other people who are as damaged and lost as you are, it's silliness. So, thanks for addressing this, Richard.
"I'm really more of....I'm an engineer. I want to get inside of the engine, and I wanna fix it! I don't want to talk vague concepts and circle jerk bubble wanks about unicorn chi and quantum leaping for the rest of my days."
🤣🤣🤗 Thank you Richard. We appreciate your passion and commitment to pushing us through the hard stuff.
He truly is a genius who doesn't give himself enough credit....he deserves appreciation & gratitude from us.... especially making the course FREE!
I've studied this stuff all my life & therapy is worthless (in the US). No matter the skill of the therapist, the system isn't set up to heal people, mentally or physically.
This is a tremendous gift to anyone who truly wants to heal & move on in life! Peace&love❤❤✌✌
@@gymnast2890 I agree! Tried really a plenty of stuff (France).
This guy is pure gold!
@@strukled8590 And so humble about it. Really, he could charge so much. It would revolutionize therapy for PTSD ❤❤✌✌
@@gymnast2890 Exactly my thoughts! The word - revolution comes to mind!
If someone is scared of pain after breaking up I can tell you from my own experience, pain is enormous after you left but it is incomparably light to the one you were going through every day in that abusive relationship. Do it for yourself, I did and it is long time to my full recovery but I know I'm on the right path and with help of friends and Richard and whoever you think can support you, do it! Richard, you opened my eyes and kicked my ass to move on and thank you will never be enough! But...thank you so very much!
Yes, every victim of narcissistic abuse has to get to the point where the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving. Dealing with flashbacks and residual confusion is far easier than the daily verbal and emotional abuse, cheating, etc.
🎉❤🎉❤
Amen 🙏🏽
Listen to him!!! The Power of your mind can Heal your Heart!!!!! Take your control back!!! When you’re ready you’ll do it!!!💪🏻Tough Luv it works.... Stop living in the past in pain and live in the present in happiness 🤗
YOU ARE TRULY F'ING AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO!!
you've given me strength.
You've given me clarity.
You've given me hope.
Thank you, with all my heart and soul 🤗
Cults are usually also headed by narcissists.
connectingTheDots - yes! A lot of them are filled with codependents who need to get out and heal completely. If they leave and do not do the work to heal they will get into another one. Trauma bonded.
Yes you are a million percent right.
It’s infinitely harder to overcome the bond when you were the one discarded. Because you keep feeling the rejection more than the fact that the person was utterly immature and disrespectful. The way someone leaves you tells you everything about them.
Honestly it feels like a grave injustice.
@@simpatico4004 yeah kinda sucks your soul dry. I lost the will to live for about a year.
Yes, I think being discarded is harder to get over than being the one that walked away… I agree, the the rejection is very hard to get over because it makes you feel like YOU were the one to blame for the break up but that’s what the narc wants you to feel!! They walk away as if they are innocent when in all reality they caused the argument/fight that ended in them discarding you. We, the discarded have to remember and keep telling ourselves that we did nothing wrong other than be a normal person, it’s the narcs that aren’t normal… they can’t take the slightest of criticism, and the idea of them being a failure in anything is horrific to them, they have to be admired, centre of attention, always right and they will hold a grudge for eternity, punish you for the slightest thing that they believe you’ve done wrong to them… silent treatment is a favourite or withholding things from you ie, if you share a car they won’t let you use it until they say you can. I spent 37 years married to a narcissist, suffered mental and physical abuse, the cruelty of these people is inhumane… but, it gives them great pleasure and power to see their partners/spouses suffering. These so called people deserve to rot in hell for the pain they inflict on others for pleasure, they have no feelings whatsoever, so, I have to keep reminding myself of all these terrible things when I start to doubt myself about who’s to blame for the discard. They don’t deserve to be happy, they actually don’t know how to be truth be told, they are never satisfied with what they’ve got. ESPECIALLY if they can’t control it. Sorry for the long comment, there’s a lot more I could write but I’ll stop now, anyone who has lived with or has had a relationship with a narcissist will relate 100% with this comment.
@@Oceansgreenthank you for your comment ! I appreciate your strength. I’m 26 YEARS into this marriage and it’s disaster. Fml
But I will get over it and love again.
@@Oceansgreen totally agree
"they cannot be saved Clarice" 😂 Fabulous vid. Thanks Richie!
That was pure genius
Best video out there... Thanks Richard
Omg yes. Exactly how he hooked me.
It’s an addiction like any other addiction and can be treated the same way Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over other people . Our life had become unmanageable Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
Thanks for the 12 step remimder! This is the Only way! ❤
This worked for me. I'm in AA. If it wasn't for recovery and the fellowship I'd be a goner
Thanks for all you do Richard! Your material is a life saver and got me through the toughest time of my life. Emotional literacy and grieving is hard work but it really pays off because it works! I'd still be lost and maybe dead if I'd never found your work. Still healing but damn it feels good to be living and not just surviving.. Much love and respect
Richard that may have been the best vid I've seen on the context of what you were speaking. Thank you. Been struggling with this now almost 2 years. I feel that knowing what it is and what caused it is not enough anymore...( I feel highly educated on the subject yet I still feel "stuck"). I really appreciate the fact that I stumbled across your Channel today.
You are not alone!✌
Richard, having viewed this video yesterday I was pondering on whether the emotional literacy problem could not only be the result of overanalysis & but also gaslighting. Perhaps some people concentrate on analysing their thoughts instead of dealing with their emotions but could it be that, after being subjected to gaslighting & not being able to trust metacommunication from others, a person with CPTSD could be unclear as to the intentions & signals of those around them so struggle with emotional literacy?
G L Great question! Seems I'm right there with you on this. God bless and heal you G L
yeah, the emotional flashbacks will make it hard to know how you actually feel about something, if that makes any sens lol. The gaslighting creates cognitive dissonance. We end up doubting ourselves over everything, including what we feel.
So true, the fucking gaslighting makes me loose it!
"Loose it" meaning getting mad as FUCK and sends me into a rage
G L great question. Hits home for me
Feeling my feelings. Right on. I have finally let myself cry. I cry at the drop of a hat now and I don't give a fuck. I laugh too and that is much more acceptable outwardly. I just decided that I refuse to carry this shit around and stuff it down. I refuse to self medicate to keep it from escaping. If I process the things that make me cry when they happen I'm free. I've spent my life stuffing feelings and they are kicking my ass. Done!
Richard you are fucking refreshing! You make me think. Like about being an adult. I realized I'm a pissed off teenager and I'm almost 60. That isn't working too well for me. I will consider what an adult looks like and try it.
I appreciate the time and effort you put into your videos. You are someone I can relate to on many levels!
THEY CANT BE SAVED! Geez. It's amazing from the beginning how this predatory person paints themselves as a victim. It's insane how intelligent I am and yet how this fucking works on me over and over
Same I guess...
You don't see it coming because you are NOT LIKE THAT. Thank God for you.
Sad, isn't it. They're capable of tricking anyone. It's up to us to absolve ourselves of shame in order to recover. They win us over by looks or charm or responsiveness, then play the victim card, then beat you with a stick (hopefully metaphorically) and keep you there as you're feeling sorry for them. You can't leave because they said they fear being abandoned. You either want to prove them wrong or not prove them right (kinda different things in my mind), so you tolerate the misery in hope they'll get better. But they don't.
I know this video is old, but I just discovered this channel...it helped me so much...Got a new subscriber.
Thank you!
As always, Richards sprinkling of comedy still cracks me up.....
so true 🥳🙏
Thank you Richard !! After realizing at age 60 that my father, brother and sister are all covert narcissists I then realized how messed up I am. I very much appreciate the healing tools your providing for free.
I was surprised by how comforting it was to hear that you ended up with a narcissist twice. I felt a lot of shame from being with one (and even taking him back once), thinking that I had learned, and then the next relationship was with another narcissist. They seemed like opposites in some ways, yet they were uncannily similar with regards to their reactions to things and ways of making me feel like less than I am.
Thanks. While I still feel like I've "lost my muchness" in some ways, my shame feels like it has lightened considerably.
Aw, hun. I took him back 3 times. There is no shame. Took me 8 years. It doesn't matter. Better to eventually understand it, than never :)
JoRiver11 Big hug! So hard to deal with them. But you are so big, you’re an empath! Never forget how big you are while you work thru this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you’ll find it’s you, always has been🙂
JoRiver thank you for sharing! I too had the same experience I went from one Narcissist to an even worse one exactly like you described! It's mind blowing!
I’m pretty sure my mom is a narc so all I can think is a toxic situation was normal for me. I got married to two narcs. I didn’t know what one was. I’m divorced now thank god. I’m just trying to heal now. It’s been quite a journey.
@@crinishorela yes....I am so embarrassed it went on for 20 years
....which she gets off on!
Richard brings the balls to healing. I always got helped the most by him because he is challenging. I dig it 💗💗💗
It’s been 2/3 months since I’ve completed the emotional literacy course and when there are times I fall back into old habits my subconscious is ready to whip me back into reality. I’m so fascinated looking at the comments and seeing the people from all walks of life and backgrounds attesting to the horrors of co-dependancy and coming through the other side. I’m so proud of the fact that I can feel my feelings without freaking out that they’re actually there, or freaking out in general, freezing and fawning. Everyday I’m in awe of the person I was a year ago compared to who I am today and I owe it all to you.
LaLabutterfly
I'm still looking(ish) into psychology. I'm just glad to know what I'm feeling and why. Sometimes I feel certain ways and can't understand why. Now I can see "oh, that person said that which caused that which I interpreted as this etc." Now I can see it as its happening and defuse whatever situations before they happen.
The only negative is the internet throws a broad net for narcissism so it's easy to get lost in that. Instead I just understand no one is perfect and "live and let live so of thing"
Did this really happen to me? These videos and reading articles and learning more about narcissistic abuse makes me feel like it did, but I still have feelings of me being delusional or emotional crazy and obsessive.
14:58 - You just hit the motherlode Richard! Thank you for all your hard work, you're a recovery hero and you deserve loads more recognition for your insight & approach. Think I'm a fangirl! X
Thank you Richard. You will never know me and know what this video has done for my life. I have been searching you tube every day watching videos on narcissism and nothing hit me like this. I was still looking for stuff to put on the map!!!!!! I get it now, it has NOTHING to do with the map. No one gave a shit about me growing up which led to me falling victim to these narcs over and over. Trying to erase what happened to me as a kid by filling these soulless narcs up with a never ending supply of love just to watch them keep flushing it down the shitter. When the answer ALL ALONG was to keep giving MYSELF!!!!!!! a never ending supply of love and kindness and to steer clear of anyone who didn’t treat me with that exact same love and kindness!!!!! Tables have turned people it is not egotistical or selfish or arrogant to love yourself when you are a kind, caring, empathetic, beautiful human being. Thanks again Richard!!
Awesome video! I'm happy that you and a select few are moving toward self healing and away from beating a dead horse explaining narcissism!
Heather B
People get stuck in the rut of rehashing and repeated analyzing. Myself included.
Press forward, sail/fly through the storms. Chop off the dead weight.
Heather B
As you said, and video implies, the dead horse keeps getting beat.
Learn from what killed the horse.
Dispose of the corpse.
Bloody hell! I had never even heard of CPTSD before. I've been looking for this stuff for years. I think there might actually be a way out. Thank you very much indeed.
2:14 - MK Ultra is the ultimate trauma bonding. Psychiatrist use trauma bonding the most.
We experience daily whole body pains discomfort emotionally discuss of blockages heartaches.
Breakout. Break the dependency!!!
Thanks Richard for being consistently rooted in reality and ownership. Can’t blame others for hurting us, more than blaming ourselves for NOT protecting one’s self.
NEEDINESS is really UNTRUE INSECURITIES & Need for ATTENTION & SELF-CARE to creating SOOTHING UPSETS.
DBT worked for me. But I had to do the program (seriously) for 2 years and spent time in the psych ward in the middle. I think I have an unhealthy attachment to Richard since he’s been “with me” the whole time... especially in the beginning before I “grew up.” I still flashback and feel that inner teen. But now I’m aware. And it’s just annoying and something I will work on for life. Including the shame of feeling like I’m still a teenager since I have to work hard to feel and act like a sovereign adult... still. Radical acceptance ✊🏻
ANTIJPUG ... no. DBT was developed with borderline PD in mind, but it’s now used to treat lots of conditions with core problems linked to emotional regulation and self harm including mood disorders, substance abuse disorders, eating disorders, and PTSD
Being a targeted Individual I can't trust any counselor so this shall be my therapy...ty.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Face the truth. Brutal honesty. Acknowledge the pain. Radical acceptable will lead to real lasting healing. Growing up is hard to do go for it or stay stuck.
This is the truth. I didn’t want to face the fear & do what I have to do because of my own shame & very real cptsd, but enough damage has motivated me now. Don’t wait for the damage to motivate. I am a serial truster & my hope dies hard. I was lucky to have a healthy romantic relationship for decades but fell right into the old patterns of getting trapped by covert narcissists as soon as I was single again. The crimes against me are so bad that my ptsd has kept me from seeking justice. I must stop him. These videos & comments help.
@@karifoto I'm going for it now. I had 4 cycles of abuse,,, that I allowed. I'm finally convinced I have to Stop this
@@stevenflores972 that’s good. I talked a good game 2 years ago but ended up going through more hell. Don’t be a me! ;) Best of luck to you
Even when they breakup, they can't say, yeah I can't do this anymore, all the best for the future. They have to make it ugly with trauma, hoping you will respond with aggression to get their final narcissistic supply.
The illustration of Hannibal Lecter and the psychopath with the fake broken arm are both VERY apt. This was exactly how I was conned into his snare. Made to feel like he was someone to be pitied, someone that I could trust and feel empathy for... someone human and flawed. My heart went out to him from the start and that is how he reeled me in.
Amy Kitchens It was truthful genius. I had to watch it twice and just signed up for the course. This stuff is science surreal fiction. I wish there was a way we could all meet and support each other besides over the fiber. Hang in there.
My experience is the same! I appreciate you sharing🙏🏼🌹
Yes me too-pitiful childhood and the biggest victim in the room. Impeccable persona, despicable person. Well known lawyer in Denver. Consider yourself warned.
Silence, hesitation, diverting the convo - these were the signs for me to realise the narc was sleeping with the ‘ex’ and led to my radical acceptance and moving on with my life...your material over the last 4 months been immensely useful I feel empowered to progress one day at a time knowing that I’m free from lies, desertion and disrespect 🙏🏻
Absolutely raw and brilliant. So tired of forums where people rant and complain about what has been DONE to them. Unsubbed to all of them. The work on self is where it’s at! You rock! We all need a wake up call and tough productive love.
7:00 competitive teenagish 11:00 mapping maze 14:30 rescue/fix complex /spider
I don't want my golden bobbles anymore. Thanks Richard.
Thank you so much for making this video. Your straightforward and honest "I can't save you from pain" really helped me find the courage to move forward and accept all my feelings. I'm definitely ready to process my grief and thank you for emphasizing that it's not a one time fix but something we must choose to do everyday.
Powerful... Be your own light, your own saviour, stand up to save ya... 🙏🌠
Richard - you are bloody marvelous!
Thanks for this video* Thank you for sharing and being blunt, I needed this and i think there are a lot of others out there who also do.Most videos on narcissistic abuse healing are all about compassion etc and yes thats necessary but ive felt stuck in the victim mentality so long and watchinng videos like this has sort of become an obsession though i never feel healed. I just feel my reality validated, relieved that im not crazy, and then i go back to victim state. Sometimes you need someone to just bluntly tell you, stop sulking and do something abt it 😋 Anyway. Thanks
Yolande Sharpley omg this is me as well
Oh I’m crying your so right, so much trauma for so ,long yes competition 27 years I need this heard it’s good therapy there thanks richard💕
Thank you so much Richard. I can't express how moved I am right now, but I'm crying from a sense of expansive relief at the willingness I feel to truly move forward, suffering and all. You have laid it out with such powerful clarity. I appreciate you!
(edit) Ps.. I'm signing up right now :)
Thank you Richard, I stayed with you throughout this video, you were ‘speaking’ to me and I ‘heard’ you, I listened and I understood- several ah ha moments ! I looked for the free course the other day but will try again. Loved the presentation today ( because you are so passionate you go off on a tangent and loose me usually) Thank you for all your videos I really appreciate your work and the time you must put into them. X
Can’t even tell you how much this helped me. I am in so much pain but carry on like a soldier pretending I am completely fine. Love the honesty. I have been watching you videos for a year now and like this one the best. Thank-you Richard!!
“Spiritually speaking my hair and my teeth are falling out”-brilliant. It’s sometimes hard to pinpoint what the hell is missing or atrophying during/after an experience like that. You can’t say you’re dysfunctional necessarily, or *seem* different at any given point. The person experiencing it /knows/ they’re hair and teeth I’d falling out but no one need notice: it could actually lead to emotional crippling and maybe no one would know. You could simply fade away.
My physical hair and teeth falling out too
@@lilgorgo I hope at least dear ones notice and try to offer help somehow
Happening physically too.
Thank you ever so much Richard
for sharing your enormous knowledge and profound wisdom!!
And thank you equally as much for your crystal clear no shit straight forwardness as well genuine compassion!!
All the best!!
11:50 goddamn it.
21:26 "diddly dee"
YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS
sofa king precious
..but look at the map.. so made me laugh. It has been important for me to see the map. I am an idea oriented individual. So for me my ideas / words are the door to my emotions. And I can step back through and close the door if I feel unsafe. Damn my defence mechanisms are good.
Wow, this is so relatable for me, I've just discovered this channel and it's AMAZING!!!!!!!
Also, the New Zealand accent was spot on 😊🙏🙏🙏🙏
Love your hard truths. I have felt I needed a good dose of “smack me upside the reality” lately. I am ready to heal and I’m coming along. 🌸
I have already suffered enough pain by the 2 Narcissists involved to last me a LIFETIME!!!
Science based.. YES! I was once sent to a religion based counseling center where I was basically told I should be happy because I am a human and humans are inherently special. Didn’t really help my self loathing and binge drinking that I was self medicating with.
ok, i'm new to your channel, i am just now looking into my narcissistic family, even tho they drove me insane... i guess i just didn't know where to look into the seeming myriad problems i have... and to stop thinking about ONE person? my whole family was trying to destroy me! so i can't do the trauma bond with just one person right, coz there are many lol... i'll go and look for that free course, coz my PTSD is bad, i'm triggered by seemingly everything, all the time. i would very much like to relieve that, you're right. thank you so much... just curious tho, why can't one pray?
I respect your hard honesty about no more handholding, we do the work or go home. I have spent decades trying to heal my monstrous child abuse, and I am as sick of working for nothing as you are! I can't believe the number of therapists I have gone through and NOT ONE figured out even the basics of my childhood trauma. As a child I vowed to never be mistreated again, so my relationships have been short because I disengage at first sign of abuse. I've had a couple Narcs get me (because they come in different forms) but not for long. So my problem is getting worse because of severe loneliness because each man I attract shows his fangs and I'm outa there! I want to heal my trauma so I am no longer a "creep magnet". I don't know why I trip their radar, but I do. I'm great about turning them away, which is fortunate, but I have NEVER gotten a "good guy". What's weird is I have wonderful, healthy platonic friendships, some lifelong. I have great friends that are normal with non-toxic lives. But the minute a man likes me, I think "okay, what's wrong with this one." Damn I hate being right all the time. Richie, bring it hon, give me your worst. I will do any work you say, doing a headstand while dangling naked from the town clock while singing the national anthem and plucking feathers from a goose. Best client EVER!
Wildrose12. Same here about narcs men that seems to know im an empath besides others so I just stay alone with my cats ,daughter and I rather that than be victim again was to too many I learned from experience from my so call insane family which most majority are so criminally insane
Wildrose12. Lol
I feel the same. However, I'm a man. Now 59.
I feel like a fool. Gave my whole heart. When will I learn
Thank you for your dedication to helping others.
With whom to break the bonds if he has disappeared in thin air?? I think I am the lucky one.
I thought I was over my narc I was 1 and half years no contact he died and I am still grieving he died 5 months ago when i was made aware he died I felt that trauma bond break. My world felt completely different.
Wow. Blessings to you.
lmao i love the humor , but im still going to quantum physically leap out of my body into another , i dont want to feel my feelings 😞😞
Rumination! That's me!! constantly looking at the map 🙄...I need to burn it. Great video thankyou x
I think the map phase is an important early stage to healing before you can get to the "feeling your feelings" part. Many people leaving a cult of a family or a religion go through this phase of intense study. I believe it is the mind trying to adapt to a completely different worldview. It's very important to the mind to be able to make logical sense of the world. Before you go through it, you feel like you don't even have the right to have feelings, like "Why should I be mad at the [truly abusive] cult leader? He's the representative of God!" Only when you are convinced with logic that he is abusive by nonbiased widely accepted standards do you feel like you have the right to feelings of anger or sadness.
Ruki Sar the map phase describes the problem rather than fixing it. Eg my motorbike crashed because blah blah but the fixing it is another matter. The map comes before the decision to change I feel
Yes a phase... but it becomes sick when ppl do it for a decade and have a poor me ... attitude...
I totally agree! Matches up with him saying you have to be "ready" too.
Can a narc heal? If so, how can I tell if he's really doing the work? I'll be getting the course, so I'm guessing this would take care of itself if I do the work?
Yes, it is important to note the map thing (great metaphor) is a necessary phase, of leaning and understanding. But then there comes a time to heal Self 💗
Richard, straight up, thank you. It is about taking responsibility for your self- healing. Commit to this, drop the story, feel the pain, grow yourself up ...
Thanks for the tools, and the talks. Life saveing. Big thank you.
OMG! Minute 16:13 and on hit me hard with the pouring love, more love into them to soothe their childhood and how they play the hurt victim and not knowing what love is. That is my story!!! This video has been so eye opening for me, wow! Thank you so much because when we are in it, we don’t see it. I am watching it over and over again, and this is helping me towards healing. Thank you Richard for this video! 💕
I had to pause the video at around 15.15 to process tears. The lambs had not stopped screaming in my head from the childhood trauma. I tried to help him with his pain. All I did was hurt myself more. The only way out is through was my mantra for everyone but myself. Thank you for everything you do.
Same...
Malignant Optimism - Awesome!
Thanks Richard for what you do! Now that I have escaped my oubliette, and my hair is coming back in, and my teeth are getting fixed, I can learn to love again; and, I really LOVE that watch! LOL! Best short to date ...Really like your StrengthOfMind stuff too. Keep up the great work. Peace.
" It can't work for you, you have to make it work" ouuf yes XD
Love your passion in this video. I needed a kick in the ass!
Giving to the needy crier. Stop Rescuing the deadly TOXIC Parasite USER COMSUMER. KILLING their prey
Allow me to spew my unconditional gratitude in the comments: Thank you, Richard
Pour more love into the gargling drainpipe!!😜lmao!! Have been ruminating a lifetime trying to understand and make sense of it all...heard somewhere..."you cant understand or make sense their behavior cause....IT'S CRAZY AND I DON'T THINK THAT WAY... SO WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND "🤔 Very freeing after a lifetime trying to understand what i said/did/didn't do to deserve such treatment!!.😖 I was there...if it wasn't me it would be someone else...not REALLY personal...though it feels like it was😏
spartanlifecoach.com/break-trauma-bond-with-enhanced-emotional-literacy/
RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH I've been researching NAS and complex CPST for about two years. I'm literally starting to cry because I'm so happy to find some common sense work that can be done. I use to be a nurse,of course 18 years married to cerebral narcopath just destroyed everything I worked so hard for. But no stories. Over him but he's still got financial crap I depend on now that narc abuse caused me so much mental anguish that I am now on social security. He got my kid two years ago because of my inability to be there for him emotionally. At the time my son left (suicidal and blames me, mothers worse than worst nightmare), in such despair asked a person whom was not working if he could sit w me. Five months later dating off and on two years. Malignant somatic covert dark tetrad. If that's even possible. = toxic shame, triangulation, blackouts, flashbacks, well, c-Ptsd worse than ever. Four years of simultaneous re victimization, tons of grief, police uneducated and victim shaming to the point of laughing at me as they walked away. Physical crap and the worst gaslighting ever, stolen iPhone x3 broken damage to properties. AND I AM STILL GOING BACK TO HIM.can't press charges I'm too gooey. 4of 5 trauma bonds.
I am an hour just existing living a dreadful life. And I am elated and can give my poor worried mother a respit. The loneliness I think keeps me going back. I had to get rid of everyone in my life who was toxic. So all . And all family has abandoned me except for my mom who I haven't seen because anxiety agoraphobia and social anxiety rule my life. God bless yu Richard.
Quick question. I have such avoidance behavior grief anger and self sabotage behaviors that I can see me screwing this up royally. I have literally no one! To even yell at me to get it done. I mean it's so bad I already know. So do u have anything I can do about that so I can get this shit done. I'm ready to live my life.
YES, YES and FUCKING YES to ALL OF THAT! 💪🏼👊🏼
Dear Richard, Would you consider doing even a short vid on WHY you do what you do now?
I came to know your work in trying to discover what I'd learn from you was a NPDisordered headf*ck. I purchased some of your work.
However, I am BPD, you have nothing good to say about my kind (only the mercy to acknowledge it as merely an Emotional Response Dysregulation) yet ignorantly & incorrectly deem us ALL narcs. In truth, it seems to me you've been "butthurt" (phrase just current colloquialism, not intended to invalidate your experiences✌🏻) by-as you admit 2ex's- with, I anticipate BPD women, as you're keen enough to talk of Tudor, or work with Vaknin, self proclaimed narcs. Never however with other "Cluster B's" as you insist on calling them.
You're a pretty narcissist man yourself, it's part of your magnetism. Maybe you're not so self aware though, don't you understand to completely reject something within the human condition is to reject it within yourself?, so are you prepared to do the work? Or are you just going to carry on charging high prices to vulnerable people based on the experiences of 2 bad relationships with girls who just so happened to be mentally ill? That's the Raven Paradox Richie; 'I went with 2girls who had personality disorder conditions, & it was a bad experience for me, therefore, ALL ppl with personality disorder conditions will be /are a bad experience.No! Just... NO!
I have BPD, I don't have any of the other disorders under the Cluster B category; so quit telling everyone I'm a narc to be avoided-it's ignorant slander!
I actually like you, been a loyal fan & customer for years but of course; I'm Cluster B so f me right? 😒
Making a profit on how to handle getting over a Cluster B ex, career catharsis huh, except you're not over it yourself, it's your day job, you're a witty, more grandiose Angie Atkinson. Guess your videos aren't for me no, most tell me I'm "cold blooded" & to be avoided. Who's the cold blooded 1 there?
C'mon Richie, truth time...✌🏻😕..
With genuine curiosity, concern & love, Gilly🕊️
Awesome... love your message! Are you single?
Thoroughly enjoyed in gratitude!
20:23 "must feel your feelings"
What if at some point I shut my true feelings down within my limbic brain and started simulating 'feeling' within my neo-cortex as a control mechnism.
How to really truely feel your feelings and clear blocks to fully feel again? Is there a course or technique for that?
Hi Richard : I cant believe those lunkheads try to feed you crap for whatever reason . Your youtube channel has most likely had the biggest impact in identifying the narcissistic abuse that had enslaved and tormented me for years and most likely help save my life. practically gone is the inner critic along with most of the Complex PTSD Response . To be free from all that crap is almost beyond belief but it can be done . thank you ever so much : bother of the snake
This made me cry it was so accurate. Reading and learning to STOP my emotional flashbacks
Dear Richard, I want to to purchase the Seminar "Break Trauma Bond With Enhanced Emotional Literacy". The link doesn't seem to work. Is it the same as the "Emotional Literacy Course"? Thank you.
So true. It's hard work and painful. I love the gym analogy. So funny.
Efforts! Actions!
Teachers,. Student. Pity for the handicapped mother. Predator & prey emotionall weak wishing for Rescue unrealistic view. 😥😓
Great video Richard! I don't think we hear nearly enough about how our own character and grit work to heal us. Appreciate all that you do and have done to bring clarity to a problem that thrives on confusion.
Interests in person emotions / feelings/ etc. Wishing for!!! 😈 Fantasy?
Honest EASY? GROW UP!
I want to heal, I do. And I know he was sick and that I am a reasonable and empathic person, and that the things that happened were not my fault. But what if you made a choice, pushed and manipulated by the narcissist, that meant an enormous change and sacrifice for you? What if you lost something you can never get back, because you can't turn back time? I think I could have healed from the abuse itself, even if it is so difficult to acknowledge the existance of people who don't care how you feel, when you loved them. But having sacrificed my own happiness for someone like that... How does one ever heal from there?
EscargoTouChaud no one can actually take your happiness from you, you have to do the work. I don’t believe happiness is in the hands of others it’s up to you if you want to do something about it .
To help yourself heal look up Dr Joe Dispenza
It is more work on loving your self . It takes commitment just as Richard-work does I love love both of them !
Wow so helpfull so recognizable so overmountening !! Thank you
Not angry at all!!
Actually in first part of active healing process and in fact quite proud of myself with my (your) new tools and now addicted to you (oh dear!)😂
I'm having trouble accepting and processing my jealousy towards other women, basically any one who is my peer, as she could be a competitor for my ex's attention while he is out making the rounds (the truth of why he left me, which he tried to disguise as "going to be alone to work on himself" HA!). And I know this jealousy has to do with my own insecurity, and not actually wanting to be one of the girls he is now using for supply.
Thats where im at, 43 yrs of him doing and saying horrible insensitive things,then when i say something he calls me names and then switches the subject to him, my being so young 13 he was 21 then i was so confused it killed me when he would say i wasnt doing xyz yet i was running in circles. so then after it happeneing over and over abuse breaking my nose choking me knocking me to the ground tackle style ifi tried to leave, then the silence like you dont matter. using his buddies as a shame tool. im just about to turn 56 and want out he wont ever be a real loving man, im stuck in a tiny town surrounded by his minions.no one knows the hell ive been through well my kids know some ,but he made me feel so guilty or shame me i was worried to even say anything . how do i get stronger in my mind to leave to not worry about what he will do.
I don't know but keep trying. Never give up. Love
JAYNEmM1962 If you fear for your physical safety, connect with friends, family, law enforcement, etc. Make a plan and be very careful who you tell. Only those who need to know and you trust implicitly. If he’s physically violent with either of you already, definitely contact law enforcement for a possible order of protection. Battered women’s groups are also a place you can contact for resources. Don’t let him know of your plans in advance. Good luck!
Thanks for layering the truth with some humor. So right on. Sad but true. Funny but true. Appreciate it.
Im so grateful I stumbled across you here on UA-cam .. Your knocking it out of the park here.. thank you SO much for doing the work you do
Thank you so much you have given me the techniques and skills to grow up at last !!! Very “pretty cool!!!!” Since you “magically” appeared on my UA-cam feed I have developed a awareness of where my fear anxiety which has incapacitated and disempowered me since childhood arose I.e emotional flashbacks. Trying to deal with this condition on an intellectual level through self help spiritual searching philosophical thinking did not touch the fundamental damage causing only more frustration and confusion. Obviously much I had learnt up to your videos prepared me for acceptance and understanding of your teachings so the pup
🙏🧘🏻♀️xx
Hi...this is your best yet!!
Watched you for a while, and have got your stuff..however, today was a red flag day for me.
Yeh ive been abused physically and mentally..and ive just admitted it now, sat on the bus going to the gym..wow..!!
So brainwashed i couldnt admit it..this raw, but you made me laugh and feel tearfull..not through sadness, but through the "curtain" being pulled back..thanks Richard, keep it real, you say it as it is..and if people just need a constant prop, well they will never move on..Take care
The bitter sweetness of finally pulling back that curtain and really seeing clearly! The first step in healing! Good luck 😊
Thank you. Im getting better. Im relieved to find this help after so many wrong fits, this fits... cptsd pete walker helped a great deal as well. I tell everyone about the channel. THANK YOU for the endless hours you devote and genuine compassion you have for this.
Rich, you are a blessing