How To Guide Enneagram Type 9 in Coaching
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- Опубліковано 9 бер 2012
- Taken from the 6 DVD set, 'Guiding the 9 Enneagram Types to Change' this example reveals how to do coaching or therapy with an Enneagram Type 9. The DVD set shows how to work with all 9 Enneagram Types.
Sometimes I say "I don't know", when I don't really care about the outcome, or when I know full well what my opinion is, but I do not want to expend the energy of defending/explaining my position.
Yes, I feel much the same way. Additionally I’ll say I don’t know when I am still working through my opinion and don’t want to explain that it can take time for me to form one, for fear of a separation emerging.
As a nine, I do say "I don't know" a lot. The reason, from my point of view, is that I don't trust myself to really know anything. If I do express myself there is a good chance I will be wrong, so I don't say anything.
I am an INFP 9w1 and I so often say 'I don't know'. Expressing how I feel in words and pictures is something that really helps me unjumble everything i'm keeping in my head!
Tilly Carsons same! The indecisiveness is real
So spot on. Wow. "I dont know" is something I say very regularly and that resistance with allowing people in comes so naturally. I have to explain to people that its an instinctual reaction - one I can do without much thought at all.
@@user-jb2dd2hd8i I say "I don't know" a lot as well.
Wow
Thank you. Your words spoke to my heart. The last suggestion you gave by asking a 9, “If it did matter, what would it be?” put me into tears. We so used to think our feelings or preference don’t really matter, and keeping the peace is what matters. Your suggestion reminded me that I’m also human after all...and how I feel do matter
I’m a 9W1, INFP by the way
I have so often talked with a friend who also knows Enneagram & said that 'I don't know' is a phrase I overuse... Really useful insights, thank you.
This has been extremely helpful. I have a type 9 client right now and we haven't made much progress because of his tendency to say, "I don't know" or "Maybe". To identify that as a defense and resolve it through gentle and non-commital challenging sounds like a brilliant solution!
How did that go?
Absolutely to the point(s)!!! Yes, please don't "badger" nines, because they need time, as you pointed out, to evaluate their feelings in some situations. It comes from the ability to see all the issues involved at once, and having empathy for everything, and the time needed to take all that in and then focus. Hence these fluctuating, hazy boundaries that have to be re-evaluated from time to time.
I might send this video to my friends so they can understand me. And just wait when I seem to hesitate when they ask me "Hi, how are you today"? LOL
ChristacheLaPistache Excellent comment!
Yes, we LOVE to have insights intellectually and may even have them regularly, but there is no structure or process available that can bring an experience of that insight. It happens for me when I put aside time to really "LOOK" at a process that is causing me to suffer ON PAPER. When I can see the structure in place, and how stressful the thoughts and beliefs are associated with it, it begins to fall away with awareness... This was a helpful video...thank you.
As an INFP enneagram 9w1 sx, I can definitely relate to this a lot.
This is great material!
A fourth, less discussed, response to trauma is called fawning, or people-pleasing. The fawn response is a coping mechanism in which individuals develop people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict, pacify their abusers, and create a sense of safety. So for 9s people pleasing could be a strong childhood trauma response.
Wow this is incredible, thank you
i also a INFJ 9w1
Same
Really helpful. Especially two things.
In a therapy session, a breakthrough could be made but it has no significance, or lasting effect, during the week because uncomfortable information, even if its important, is tucked away somewhere where I can't see it, because my defense systems are not geared towards finding problems, but rather internal peace.
The idea of attaching words to my inner world. I've just noticed this recently that when I directly observe my inner world, it's very hard to describe. I think, "well how is this possible, do I not think in words." No not really. I know a lot of things on an instinctual level, much like a child learns English way before understanding the mechanics of language
I was home educated, and I am a type nine but able to have some presence when I am with people, so I think having time to slowly develop my charactor in a fairly low conflict environment must of helped tremendously.
I am a natural leader, but very nine in the sense that if another leader is willing to take the lead I am okay with stepping back and allowing that. I am not in there for a power struggle. However, if it is a personal project, I may feel a bit sad if my job is replaced by another.
Is there a video specifically about coaching for a 4? I don’t own a DVD player. Is there a download I can get somewhere?
Wow, this helpful. I need to get the DVD set. Are you selling it as on online course? I just started working with a 9 and you hit the nail on the head ... or for a 9... a hammer hitting the ocean surface creating a meaningful ripple, that once subsides is forgotten about. (Even though it was a profound life-changing insight.) I spent 30 minutes after the session reviewing their values and stated goals to create a step-by-step Q & A email series to ground our next session with collaborative focus and agreed upon intent. Then came searching on the interwebs to understand the 9 enneagram type better. The title and insights in this video is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. Very helpful :)
What's with the combination of pictures and words strategy? Is that because of how we think? DogSlice?
Would you post a link to where people can get the DVD?
www.katherinefauvre.com/products/how-to-coach-each-of-the-9-enneagram-types
9s are often over looked. I always thought it was just me. Like what's wrong with me that people never hear me.
From my pov others are not listening and think that they have better decision for what im saying,im infp 9w1,945 and talk unconventionally but most ppl look from conventional perspective
hello,I'm a Chinese researcher of enneagram,what you said in this video really changed my pointview about Nines,I really wanna listen to every word that you said clearly,but my listening of English is not so good.so could you by any chance tell me what words you exactly said in this video,like a word that between "conflict"and"makes a situation worse",put them "what"?Any reply would be appreciated sincerely.
Hello Maureen, I suggest you add the English subtitles to the video (click on the little "cc" box at the bottom right of the video screen). I did this for me and it helped, I hope it will give you the information you need. Good luck!
where can I get these DVDs ?
As a type 9 I have no problem with others being direct.
Type nines are always overbooked? Hardly.
overlooked :)
Overlooked in a sense that they wont listen to me and always want to command my life and use me as tool for their gain and i should be grateful for that.Even if i explain my thoughts,feelings,wants and needs don't matter.We live in a world where ppl want to save somebody so they can feel good about themselves but not leave them to their own devices
Is there a way to get the contact info for this woman? I'm a 9 (INFJ 9w8) ... and I'd like to talk to her.
thehotavocado jj
Knowing one thing I know is a type 9 is not a good leader. I work with one in my college small group and our teacher had our type 9 classmate become the leader. Being a type 564 i and the rest of the team had a concern that if we were going to get a good grade we had to change our leader things were not getting done.
One example is hardly a good indicator of the whole.
Idk man, a majority of past presidents have been 9's.
It's entirely dependent on the particular 9 and the health level. Of course and unhealthy 9 isn't getting shit done. A healthy 9 is probably one of the best leaders there is.