Hollyn on How to Survive as an Enneagram Type 9 | Coffee Talk
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- Опубліковано 8 січ 2019
- Singer/Songwriter Hollyn explains how she discovered the Enneagram, how it can help you understand yourself more deeply, plus how she's learning to be strong and healthy as an Enneagram Type 9.
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So thankful for the Nines in the world. They have wise and beautiful hearts. God bless you.
Such a kind comment! ❤️
💓💓💓
@Denis such a type nine thing
...self deprecating when we get compliments haha!
Catie Hinkle thank u for saying such a nice thing I really needed that
Thank you💓 you have a beautiful heart too
9w1 here. I’m also learning the difference between showing grace vs automatically excusing someone’s hurtful behavior. Owning that someone IS being crappy toward you and that it DOES hurt and then having the choice to stand up for yourself or let it go...that’s real grace. It’s hard to face the actual hurt and even harder to voice that pain, but I’m learning that it is worth it. My feelings DO matter. Other people DO affect me. I no longer want to keep the peace at the expense of my voice and personhood.
🙌🏽
Amen! I'm in that place! Type 9 and finally realizing I had a narcissistic mother... God has lifted the veil on me this year with recognizing my hurt and my feelings are justified. I feel like you read me!
Audrey Milum YES!! Whenever I hear about someone doing something bad or something and people are criticizing them, I always think about if I was them. Then, I start defending them because of my defensive 8 wing. But I can totally relate to excusing people when trying to show grace.
Audrey Milan! I SO agree and can totally relate to your comment here! Fellow 9 here! And yes, that realization that I have a choice in how I can react when someone hurts me is something I’m now more and more stepping into in my 40’s! It’s never too late to start letting your voice be heard! We can do that as well as keep the peace!! Much love to all the 9’s out there♥️♥️♥️
I’m a 9w1 too.
I feel so stupid when i say that figuring out i was a type 9 is so eye opening. I've felt crazy, like an outsider my entire life.
ME TOO I’m only 16 but I still feel like no one will ever understand why I am the way I am or why I never rlly feel to strongly about anything. These traits that I have annoy me a lot and I feel like I’m an unhealthy 9
Word of wisdom, don't take a personality test when you in a trial or times of stress, because it is during that time that God is shaping your character, and after the fire, you will know who you really are.
I think my wife is a 9. Here trying to understand her more.
Good for you!
Growing up I was always friends with all type of people and it brought conflict between my friendships due to differences. I use to see myself as all over the place and never belonging but I know see myself in a positive light. I can see the similarities in things and want harmony amongst such a divided and chaotic world. Not a bad thing at all my friends. 9s are awesome!
OMG THIS IS SOOO ME!! I’ve never had how I felt explained so well!! Thank you!
Hello fellow nines!
As a four, 9 is one of the enneagram types that I can talk to without an anxiety attack. I believe I've a lot to learn from them. So love them and wish them luck through life with all my heart 💝💖 they have a lot to offer because they sponge a lot from their surroundings. Your opinion matters a lot and you're lovely maybe you need some time to mature as a nine. Sometimes we have to be in dark enough to be unafraid of what light would bring. Learnt that from a lil hard way but I'm grateful to have learnt that. Thank you if you've read this far😂😂😂😂
Hollyn, I love you sis. There is sooo so much in you that reminds me of me, You are such a BIG blessing to my spotify/alone-car-worshipping sessions and theres no music that speaks out of my heart in so many ways, than yours does. 😝 Gorgeous that you’re a 9 as well, just by finding that out right now I feel SO connected...
Be blessed BIG time, I’m in prayers with you. HUGGS!! from Germany 💛
I am re-learning to love being a nine (and becoming a healthy nine) after my eight wife left me.
Stay strong buddy !
Whaaat? Now I know why I love her music
NO ONE IS DRINKING COFFEE! lol
It's true. We broke the rules on this one and went with the sparkling water! 😂 We really do drink coffee in most Coffee Talk segments. haha ua-cam.com/video/-pygkxQ831o/v-deo.html
This is awesome- thanks guys!
aw I loved this and related so much 😩💓
As a 9, I love this 😊
I'm a nine as well and it took a really long time to figure that out. I kind of dismissed the enneagram at first, but when I began reading about core fears and the fixations as a means of staying sane in a broken world, it really began making logical sense to me. When I read about the core fear of type nine, fear of separation, I didn't feel it at first but I look back as a kid, I would go somewhere and pout after being upset, and I needed to eventually go back to my friends because the disconnection was very painful. Obviously, I might discard parts of my self to prevent that pain.
Type 9 here. I've always heard the greatest fear as the "Fear of Conflict," which is true, but I've always felt was to general. I absolutely love how you said "Fear of Separation." That's so much clearer!
I love listening to her music on my Spotify account. I'm an INFJ enneagram 9 wing 1 self preservation type.
Thank you for this video. I'm a 9. I felt understood for the first time after taking the enneagram test. I also cried and was just in awe that it could be so true 👍
I took the meyers Briggs test and it did not seem to fit me much at all. I felt like I was trying to be forced into a box that didn't fit me in it. My family tries to tell me I'm a extrovert among other things, but really I'm NOT what people think I am. I can be an extrovert, but I'm a big introvert also. This is a problem that is very consistent for me. People put me in a category and decide I fit in a certain box, and then they fail to try to get to know me. Do you ever feel this way as a 9?
I am so glad you understand some of what I go through. I feel very unimportant when in a group of people talking. I really care about others and I try to make them feel heard and important, so when they don't listen to me or talk over me....I just give up feeling like i matter at all. This makes me sad 😥
Some of the things you pointed out are very helpful....giving others grace 🙏 is exactly what I need to do .....to realize it isn't about me....it's them and what they are going through.
I can relate to the part about being in big groups. I don’t want to have to fight to be heard and most of the time will choose not to, especially if I’m with people who will talk over me. Screw. That. However, as I’ve grown I’ve let myself off the hook of having to fit in to certain social expectations. At parties (which I used to hate) I give myself permission to go sit outside if I want to, or talk to someone if I want to, or dance if I want to. If my goal is to enjoy myself I will do whatever it is I want to do at that time. It removes the pressure of having to get something from someone else to feel ok with myself. When I’ve done this I’ve actually really enjoyed the parties! One time I sat on the porch by myself because there were too many loud people inside and soon other people joined me and we had really good conversation. It was great!
Something else your comment brings to mind is just how much I wish other people had a 9’s skill of making room for others as a listener and we want people to be able to be themselves with full acceptance. We do it for people ALL the time and it’s something huge that can be so invisible and taken for granted. It’s hard when we aren’t given the same space or receive criticism instead. That’s why having a voice for ourselves and taking up space is important to learn.
Ah to be a 9 😭
can fully relate 🌱
Same! My numbers were all over the place...I'm a 9w1
Hey Rebie! I'm a long-time Money Guy listener. I had no idea this channel existed! I'm so happy to have stumbled upon it! Like fate 🙂
We're so glad you found us. Thanks for watching.
9 here!
I had a narcisstistic mother. I internalize everything, I shouted down my own voice views feelings opinions. Im 9. I do not have separate SELF
Wow I could have Said everything she Said ❤️ thank you
Yessss! Omgosh my biggest artist crush has the same enneagram number as me and she’s Christian 😍
Ikr?
The Enneagram has roots in the occult. Please do some research. Doreen Virtue has a great video on the subject.
I'm a 9 too but in a unhealthy way.
The Enneagram can really help with this, actually! Everyone goes through seasons where they're emotionally healthy or unhealthy. We'd encourage you to dig a little deeper into your personality and start to recognize small steps you can toward being healthier and whole. This podcast and book is a popular resource: www.theroadbacktoyou.com/enneagram/
Well yeah it’s unhealthy don’t take 9 ememas sheesh
6:44 OMG totally agree 😍😍😂
What is the name of the book by Richard rohr
I just took multiple tests and my final results say that I am type 9
I like how I've watched this whole thing and I still don't really know what Enneagram is.... so it's some sort of personality test or...? lol
Also, Hollyn said "I think most people are genuinely good", but how does that line up with the Bible? :O
it's technically a personality system, but it's not just about labeling; it's all about your core motivations and certain patterns that are associated with them. it's really fascinating!
also, not to speak for her, but i believe that even though we have a bad nature, God makes us genuinely good, so it could be something along those lines :)
It is a new age thing and not good for Christians...
@@EveleaSolgos Claim: There is a singular emotional response or fear at the basis of each type
Response: This claim assumes that emotions are the basis for personality and motivates all or most of the behaviors of the personality. This assumption is not made on the basis of observation or a person communicating their emotions, but rather inference from behavior. Certain behaviors are assumed to be caused by this one certain emotion. This theory puts all behavior on the foundation of emotion and feeling, and so reduces or eliminates the role or explanatory value of the intellect or will in human behavior. Intellect and will become dependent upon a “core emotion” or fear for explaining their function. Nevermind the fact that fear in itself is one of many emotions. Thus, every human person’s identity and source of action is inextricably linked to a subjective feeling which colors everything that they do, think and say. Pure acts of intellect or will, apart from subjective emotions are logically impossible in such a scenario, as everything must be explained through a core fear or emotion. The Enneagram does not teach that this emotion eventually subsides or vanishes, but is pervasive throughout life consistently and is something as innate to a person as their biology. However, emotions by their nature are transitory and passing, and are not persistent enough to form the basis of a personality. The claim that there is a core emotional response runs counter to common sense and experience, and additionally has no empirical validation to support it.
@@EveleaSolgos C: There is a core desire at the basis of each type.
R: The claim that there is a singular desire or need for each type is based on a false assumption. This assumes that these desires are detectable through behavior, that behavior consistently has a one to one connection with desires in general. The means for detecting that one has one overarching desire is to look at observable behavior. Behaviors occur in relation to other behaviors, and when a person exhibits enough of certain behaviors associated with a type, then that substantiates a belief that a person is a certain type. However, behaviors in themselves are not proof of a causal relationship to a desire, need or even a fear. The problem with that is that behaviors do not always occur as a result of a specific desire in the consistent way described in the Enneagram. A person may very well experience or have the desires associated with a type, and may even have those desires often, but it does not follow that a person is a type because of it, or has a type as the underlying cause of their desires and subsequent actions. Another problem is that the Enneagram has no other way other than desire and related behavior descriptions to identify types. A person may indeed exhibit all the behaviors associated with a particular type and desire, with no connection to that particular desire whatsoever, and even with an admitted contrary desire. Even supposing the claim of core desires to be true, there is nothing to support the assumption that the original Enneagram teachers identified the correct desire or motivation for the types. There are certainly more desires than described in the Enneagram, and for some those desires can seem to be very influential in behavior.
In short: claiming the Enneagram reveals your "core motivation" is naive. We are claiming a man-made system based on numerology (1-4-2-8-5-7 etc.) reveals hidden knowledge we don't even know about ourselves. This has no empirical basis and is the very definition of divination. Now go read Deuteronomy 18:10 😒
I am nine too...
I'm a nine, just discovered I am. Kind of a lot to take in......
Hope it turns out to be a helpful thing! Remember it's just a tool to become stronger - it does not define you! You are a worthy child of God first and foremost. ❤️
I'm a One with a Nine Wing, I know a few nines - my current girlfriend, best mate and someone at work. I must say they seem to lack energy and see everything as hard work - a real major hard kick up the arse might be an idea 👍
I didn't 'invest' in myself until my early twenties - I blame my Nine Wing. I'm slightly annoyed. A good cure was learning to speak fluent Russian. I forced myself to do it.
Nines could benefit from some self-discipline 👍
I took the test a couple weeks ago and am absorbing being a 9. Is anyone resentful about it? I’m filled with it.
Why would you say you are resentful of being a 9?
Julien Frenette Sloth is the vice
@@spiegeje But the real meaning behind that is 'mental' sloth: not paying attention to our own development - falling asleep to our desires & needs, as opposed to simply imitating a sloth's laziness. All of the types have flaws, but it's exciting to know that everything can be worked on :)
cjadetown Mental sloth is my struggle for sure. I have no problem being physically active. It’s engaging in what would better myself that is the issue.
OMG, I´m nine too
Are you able to recommend a place to find an accurate test?
Here are two to check out:
Paid: ($12) Enneagram Institute tests.enneagraminstitute.com
Free: Your Enneagram Coach www.yourenneagramcoach.com/yecassessment
The free one is great but with the Enneagram Institute test you get a lot more info. But either are a great place to start!
Also, we suggest reading about each type or listening to a few enneagram podcasts. That's how I (Rebie) figured out what number I am!
Here’s some more info: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/girl-whats-your-number-the-enneagram-episode/id1160066385?i=1000439820314
www.christiananswersforthenewage.org/Articles_ChristianEnneagramAuthors.aspx?fbclid=IwAR0piD08tvRk_KjnUJpJ3R4_tVHKrCuQpIgw7uMWdIe9YoUNc96iB5xL2-A
Listen to Talitha and her links. There is no accurate test.
What is Hollyn's Myers Briggs? INFP?
Not sure! We only covered Enneagram in this interview. She did mention that enneagram was the first personality test that she felt explained her personality. We like Myers Briggs, too, though! :)
My educated guess is that she's an ESFP… I mean, you know, I don't know her at all… but my hypothesis is just based off of her music and her interviews (like this one!).
To be specific, if you care, this is my rationale:
It seems
- she possesses the talkativeness that you would expect from an extrovert (E over I preference)
- she is sincerely and naturally concerned regarding people's emotional states (F over T preference)
- prefers talking about subjects having to do with people over subjects having not to do with people (F over T preference)
- she doesn't have very much interest in abstract, metaphysical things (S over N preference)
- she has had to learn in more recent years to become more perceptive of her inner state/world but spontaneous perception (and enjoyment) of her outer world seems very, very natural to her (P over J preference)
- she moves her eyes in a darting fashion across the room, eventually returning to a particular spot (high Se)
- she seems to have a natural fluidity to the way in which she moves her body (P over J)
The first five are conscious behaviors on her part. The last two are subconscious "microbehaviors."
So, yeah, my guess would be ESFP.
Whoa, I did not intend to write that much. Lol.
@@chrismartinez144 Thanks Chris. I think you're right! She reminded me of an ENFP 9w1 that I knew but she has a more in your face demeanor which is probably the extraverted sensing.
I got infp vibes also. My son is an infp 9w1 and she reminds me of him a lot!
Most people are NOT genuinely good at the core. The heart is desperately wicked, how can know it? We have a sin nature. However love believes all thing, hopes all things.
Renewal Creations I grew up believing that we are all inherently bad. I have begun to question this. What if we are good at the core? What role to life’s circumstances and our decisions play?
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. People can't deal with that. The response is not to wallow in self-pity or lie to ourselves about how we are good, but to fall on our knees and thank God for His love for us, and to obey Him. The 2 greatest commandments: love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor (as in be good to them). In that order.
How is it a coffee talk with no coffee???
When you are dealing with conflict, you don't want to get into the other person's head about oh, they are projecting their insecurities onto me. Only God, his word, his spirit can percieve the heart. Think of others above yourself, but ask or wait on the Lord's peace and speak the truth in love I'm confidence with out the fear of man like Jeremiah 1. Or be silent. Jesus knew how to handle conflict. Look at how he handled the Pharisees, disciples, and the crowds. Ask for wisdom, strength, peace and God's will to be done in the conversation.
Well, You shouldn't live life by an personality test or type. It can borderline on astrogeology signs. (Borderline, not always). Because God has created with personalities and differences, but he has also created us with gifts, callings, and abilities for his purpose and glory and they line up in ways beyond our understanding something's. And sometimes he calls outside of what we think in faith, but our gifts are to build up the church, and sometimes what we see as a personality weakness or strength is our flesh. For example, I always thought I was an extravert or sanguine, until the Lord told he would use my selfish talking for intercession, and I had to learn to give my concerns to him first and when to be silent and when to speak. And use my talking to exhort others and teach the word.
breath-of-truth.com/ChristianProfiling.html
I would go so far as to say personality tests should be condemned by churches. After all, in PSYCHOLOGY ITSELF, these tests are considered a joke, and malpractice. It'd be like a doctor prescribing skittles to a cancer patient. Insane.
im a 7w8 lol
Hey, staging crew, two chairs with a little coffee table between would be so much more comfortable looking than this sofa thing.
I couldn't disagree more. It's unfortunate that's all you took from this video. Why not just listen n set ur phone down?
@@luvbuug00 Ask yourself "How can I possibly know the motives and intentions of others?" Good place to start. Keep working on you. 👍
What’s a nine ???🤔
It's a specific personality type based on a personality tool called the Enneagram! There are 9 personality types according to this test and it sparks lots of good conversation. :)
Wha is a enneagram?
Nissi A. Not recommended. It has its roots in New Age practices. Skip forward about 15 mins in this podcast to find out more. podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/girl-whats-your-number-the-enneagram-episode/id1160066385?i=1000439820314
www.christiananswersforthenewage.org/Articles_ChristianEnneagramAuthors.aspx?fbclid=IwAR0piD08tvRk_KjnUJpJ3R4_tVHKrCuQpIgw7uMWdIe9YoUNc96iB5xL2-A
A tool of divination that tries to predict your behavior, just like a horoscope and equally invalid.
Not of God or the Bible. Please seek answers from a man/woman of deep faith, not the internet. You will only be sent down a path of lies and destruction if you follow this Enneagram teaching.
She is an INTP tho
Stopped listening when this chick said, “not in a weird bipolar way” like what did she mean by that.
Wait, wait, wait...all people are good at their core?! Do the terms sin/sinner not mean anything to you? I thought you were a Christian... 🤔🤷
Edit: I realize my tone here is a bit harsh and immature, but I still stand by the heart of my comment; we are born sinners and are not good at our "core".
Agreed. The heart is desperately wicked, who can know it.
That's why Jesus walked around condemning everyone he met. :P
She just meant people have good intention not that their souls are white as snow.
God created us at His own image and ressemblance.
I kind of see it as in people have the potential of being good. They just haven't seen that it's possible for them, they haven't found the answer light ? I don't know if that makes sense lol 😂 but yeh I defs agree we are all sinful and can easily be swayed by our sinful nature. But when you are seeded in God in Christ, his word has the power to change us and the holyspirit it's ups to us to repent and believe and take action . But yeh I don't know 😅
@@ocelot113 Yeah, the comment wasn’t that Jesus condemned people, of course he Never condemns but the Holy a spirit convicts. And all have sinned and need Jesus to be saved. If we are all “good” where’s the need for God in our lives??? 🙄🙄
This is all just feel good propaganda… don’t fall for these lies….