5 Things To Remember When A Friendship Ends
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- Опубліковано 8 тра 2024
- Navigating the end of a friendship can be emotionally challenging, but it's also an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. In this video, we discuss five essential things to keep in mind when facing the end of a friendship.
From understanding that friendships evolve to recognizing the signs of a toxic friendship, we offer practical insights to help you navigate this sensitive time with grace and resilience. Whether you're experiencing a natural drift or dealing with the fallout of a toxic relationship, these strategies can provide comfort and clarity. If you're struggling with the complexities of friendship dynamics or coping with the end of a relationship, this video is here to offer support and guidance.
#friendship #friends #friend
Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Editor: Sidney Thompson
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Sarimopi (IG: sarimopi)
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES:
Benson, C. K. (1992). Forgiveness and the psychotherapeutic process. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 11(1), 76-81.
Gregory , A. A. (2022, August 26). Embracing Bitterness: The Benefits of Resentment [web log]. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/simplifying-complex-trauma/202208/embracing-bitterness-the-benefits-resentment
Eisenberger NI. The pain of social disconnection: examining the shared neural underpinnings of physical and social pain. Nat Rev. 2012;13:421-434.
King, Alan R.; Russell, Tiffany; and Veith, Amy C., "Friendship and Mental Health Functioning" (2016). Psychology Faculty Publications. 21. commons.und.edu/psych-fac/21
Vermersch, Pierre. (1999). Introspection as practice. Journal of Consciousness Studies. 6. 17-42.
Waxman, J. (2015). How to break up with anyone: letting go of friends, family, and everyone in-between. Seal Press.
Bukowski, W. M., Hoza, B., & Boivin, M. (1994). Measuring friendship quality during pre- and early adolescence: The development and psychometric properties of the Friendship Qualities Scale. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11(3), 471-484. doi.org/10.1177/0265407594113011
Who has ended their friendship before?
Me! Let’s see *literally counting irl* like 6-7 months ago?!
multiple times🫡
😭
It's never pleasant, but sadly yes.
I ended mine with a fake friend and learned she was using me like a prop and I was her biggest target
It's really rough when you don't just lose one friend, but an entire group by default.
Agreed - though everyone's situations are different.
Yes thank you for bringing up this very real issue
It really hurts that everything you built with that group just suddenly disappear.
Sometimes, you dont lose a friend at all.
A secret hater is just gone.
You dont lose a friend when that person was never your friend to begin with.
That’s exactly what i think. People found me too harsh, when I annihilated a friendship with a toxic person saying it has never been a friendship. I could learn from it and had good times, too, but this doesn’t make a friendship.
It was only after a friendship with someone I loved ended, that I realized how toxic they had become by the end of it, and how everyone was right in telling me to let go of this person.
@@Suedetussy I just "annihilated" a friendship because there was not enough reciprocity. I am not sure if that's valid or not but I couldn't do it anymore.
Friendships cant end if you dont start one
It's better to lose a friend, than to lose yourself. Sometimes, a friend wants to fix you according to his/her idea, when you yourself feel that there is nothing wrong with you.
Yep certainly. Social situations and relationships are sometimes complicated.
These posts are getting personal omg
0:15 It's Okay to Grieve the Loss and Accept Your Emotions
0:55 Letting Go Of Resentment Will Help You
1:55 This is a Time for Reflection and Learning
3:03 No one Can Look After You Like You
3:50 You Are Capable of Moving On
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I’ve lost very dear friends lately, this makes me feel a little better :) thank you!
Sorry to hear that. It's never easy. I hope this video helps you!
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your recover.
I'm really sorry that you had to go through this. But i believe you can recover from this because you can !
Sorry to know you're going through this 🙏 I'm sure things will get better.
People don't want to lose, they always want the best for themselves.
I'm lucky to have never experienced a "friend breakup". Mostly I've just kinda drifted out of peoples' orbits due to moving away, changing interests, our own lives leaving us little time to hang out, etc. But the silver lining there is that you don't truly stop being friends. if nothing else, you can always laugh and reminisce about old times when your paths do cross
Well yes, I think everyone's situations are different from one another, and while I've lost a bunch of friendships over the years; the thing that will typically be fundamentally constant is your set of beliefs and values (however one's belief system can change if so desired depending on the circumstances) and as somebody that really likes sports and drawing; I can see the through the lens in ways that many people might not be able to. Other things like cooking, music, video games, internet history, and so forth have been able to broaden my horizon in the sense that as long as I'm comfortable with my diverse set of hobbies and realize my own true self; I will attract all the right people and hopefully in the time to come, it will manifest into something even more fulfilling. That's not to say friendships aren't important, but at least knowing thyself and how self accepting anyone can be of themselves is an invaluable concept for realizing that friendships are necessary; but arbitrary at the same time - as ridiculous as it might seem. However, depending upon aspects like introversion and/or extroversion; the value of friendships and beliefs can be up for debate...however at this point, I might as well be writing a novel 😅 lol. Even if it means just having a few really good friends, sometimes that's all that really matters....although I have had good fortune of making a bunch of friends, even though I've lost some friendships over the years - whether it was economically related, academically related, geographically related, psychologically related, emotionally related, spiritually related, and so forth.
Wish I had your experience. Cause I have a tendancy to be friends with anyone who seems mildly interested in sticking around, but in the long run, realize they never really wanted to be friends.
I could tell you a long list of wrong doings, but I don't really see the point of being negative about bygone friendships, when I know the real problem is that I should be pickier about who I befriend.
Cause sometimes, there are people who are only friendly to you because they want something from you or make themselves look good. And I always find that kind of mindset to be weird, but it happens a lot.
I never saw it like that before with friends drifting apart, that's a really positive way to look at it! Makes me feel better about friends I've drifted from and considered to not be friends with anymore but when our paths have crossed again, we've had a laugh and reminisced
I’ve lost friends this past couple of months and now I’m learning to move on and I’ve met new people too
Im glad :) how are your new friends?
Good for you. Keep learning and moving on.
Props to you 💯
@@Inlovewithmyself374 they’re amazing and I genuinely feel good about these new friendships I’m in
@@awesomelegs & @LtRee96se Thank you🫶🏾
I lost a best friend due to “growing apart” so it wasn’t on bad terms. I’m convinced it’s because she didn’t know how to say she didn’t want to be friends anymore & let the passage of time along with un-replied texts do the talking for her. It is immensely heartbreaking as we were so close that I valued her as a sister, apparently she didn’t feel the same in the end.
When a friendship is that deep moving on is absolutely harder than people tell you it is. It’s not a break up in your 20s, it’s deeper than that. She was really the only person along with my partner that could really open up and be vulnerable with on a level I don’t show anybody else. I feel like I’m never gonna find another best friend or a friend at all as being open and vulnerable takes time and trust for me which doesn’t bode well as Finding a friend is an adult is never a walk in the park due to us having more responsibilities & priorities, and people these days are more often about prioritizing themselves than relationships. Hanging out with someone and never talking to them anymore happens a lot faster. You’re either friends with someone far older than you or someone much younger and one of the two always has to have kids of which I can’t relate.
I’m not saying I won’t find another friend, I hang around a lot of people, but there was a click in me when I first talked to her and I never felt that click with anyone else ever after that. Unless that rare feeling happens again every “friend” I make is just gonna be “A person I get along fine with” but never an actual friend.
Wow, it sounds like you've experienced quite a bit in terms of relinquishing a friendship and discovering who you feel you should be (and believe me , I'm no stranger to this sentimentality either). And as somebody who's educated on these issues; I'm probably not qualified to give any advice that would seem a bit subjective idk lol....all I can say is that friendships and the way trends are is complicated sometimes - however it should never stop us from living the lives we all desire; but I realize there is only so much we can control in society, and I believe with all of the right resources; we can educate one another - and help out one another if we choose...and believe that anything is possible if we choose to believe, no matter the obstacles or circumstances.
I can understand what you're going through.
I have had a friend since the last 7.5 years or so. And he was the best possible friend one could have. I can't emphasize how important he was in my life. In some cases, friendships which have so much depth turn into romance, but that didn't happen for us. In a platonic way though, he was much more than a friend. The lengths to which he would go for me were unimaginable. He was the one I went to for everything - be it stinging memories of an ex, family issues, relationship shenanigans, work pressure and whatnot. The list is unending.
And he always turned up wherever I needed him - both physically and virtually. It sounds too good to be true but it was.
I was also the one he shared his deepest secrets with. I'm not taking any names here, so I guess it's safe to say this. Last year, he fell in love with someone already in a relationship. He confided in me initially, but stopped after a few months. And not just about that issue, about everything. He just stopped talking to me. And I had literally no clue what I did wrong. I did ask him eventually, but he only said he was going through a difficult phase and needed to close off from everyone.
Except that he did not. I was the only one he withdrew from. He declined to meet me or talk to me, but went on outings with many other friends, including those he used to complain to me about. And most shockingly, even _that_ girl herself.
I was hurt but I tried my best to give him the space I wanted. But after a few months I reached my limit. I finally asked him for an explanation regarding his attitude towards me. And he just said some traumatic events (related to the girl) had happened to him, and since I knew about it a little, I became a trigger for him. So he was avoiding me while mingling superficially with others. And he needed more time before he could meet me.
Well we finally met a couple weeks ago. It was bittersweet; while I was finally glad to see him, he didn't want to share what happened. He only told me he's still quite worn out and struggling. And I could see he wasn't his former self.
It's just that - it's been more than a year now since our distance grew. And it _still_ hurts the same. I know he can't be blamed but I've not been able to come to terms with how he treated me. And how undesired he made me feel. And all those past years, all the memories of how different things were keep causing me a lot of pain.
I've tried everything - giving him space, trying to talk about other stuff, trying to help. At this point I gravely doubt that our friendship can go back to how it was.
I'm worried about him too, but even talking to him and getting those one-liner responses hurts too much now. He has also hidden his stories from me.
And so a few days back, I told him that I'm done carrying this burden of one-sided friendship. I told him that not speaking at all would hurt less than the fake and superficial way we speak now. I told him I'm cutting him off, something he had already done to me long ago without even bothering to let me know. I told him if he ever wanted to come back, he had to take the effort.
He said he would when things are better in the future. We haven't spoken since.
But I still think and dream about him everyday. But I'm not waiting for him. I'm not.
:)
You hit the nail right on the head bcos, I’m going through the same thing.
I just ended a friend ship with someone. She was always stressing me out with her actions. I finally just lost it and said enough is enough. She actually reminded me of an ex boyfriend with the way she acted. Had to walk away for my sanity.
Good job man, glad you took steps forward!
same bro I literally have a weekly breakdown from a friend of mine that was always stressing me out 😭 I blocked left and never looked back
I've had plenty of similar situations as well, and there comes a point in which anyone who understands boundaries and can separate right from wrong won't allow themselves to be taken advantage anymore by a friendship that becomes toxic and manipulative ... if it even was a real friendship to begin with.
I’m going through a pretty bad breakup and she was my best friend, so this video had perfect timing. Thank you 🙏🏽
I just wanted to say hang in there. The pain will lessen, and you will be okay. Please don't feel like you have to blame yourself. Grieve and remember the good times. Take care of yourself.
Blessings 🙏 sorry you're dealing with such an unfortunate situation.
I just stopped talking to my closest friend a week ago. At first, things were great between us. We just clicked and did a lot of fun stuff together. But one day, I had a feeling that they were gradually pulling away from me. I was always ready to make an effort, but they wouldn't reciprocate anymore. There's nothing really I could do about that. When I mentioned any inconvenience that hurt me, I always got disrespected in return. But I took all of that in, just because I wanted to be a good friend. To protect my mental health, I had to do it, end it. I wish them the best in their life but I'll never speak to them again.
I'll admit; that's quite messed up, but I'm glad you're standing up for yourself and taking the initiative.
God bless 🙏 and good luck 🤞
My friend from 9th grade just broke our friendship yesterday😢 it really hurts so thank u very much for this, it really helped me out🥹✨God bless u all✨
I lost my bff about a year or two ago,. Been bff’s since 8th grade! Just feels weird! I’ve always said this is my bff so in so,. U know? Now she’s gone!
God bless you. That must have been a hard break-up. You will feel better. While it takes two to make a friendship, it only takes one to break it.
Sorry you're going through this.
@@jimcowan8770 I get ya..... sometimes things change and we just need to move forward in the best way possible. I wish u the best and tht ur able to move forward 👍
@@LtRee96se @awesomelegs
Thx for the support, It is a hard situation to deal with but wether I like it or not I must move forward.
I hope y'all have a good day/night
My favorite friend I’ve ever had died 2 years ago and I just found out. We fell out a while ago but I’ve always missed him. This has been devastating so I’m thankful for the timing of this video.
🙏🙏🙏
1. It's okay to grieve the loss and accept your emotions 0:16
2. Letting go of resentment will help you 0:55
3. This is a time for reflection and learning 1:55
4. No one can look after you like you 3:03
5. You are capable of moving on 3:50
I'll admit I tend to drop people and isolate very often when my mental state gets bad. Some people I can come back to after a few months without them acting like I hurt them for disappearing. They know me well enough to know if I leave, I need space. I'm not a good person, and I have a hard time maintaining friendships. So even when I'm not just ghosting people for months because of a bout of severe depression, people get sick of me. I don't blame them. I just don't let myself get too close, so when they do leave, it doesn't bother me as much. Sure, it's lonely. Cripplingly so, but I have my cat, and I have books and movies, so I'm not just left with my thoughts when I'm not working.
omfg I'm actually ending my friendship with my boy bestfriend rn. I needed this.
Hope this video helps you!
I had to move away, we still talk but I'm expecting us to drift apart at some point
What happened?
@@Modernsour19isn't that life?
feeling like the “boy best friend” rn 😭
I’ve learned that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t keep friendships. People’s lives do change though. I grew tired of being hurt all the time and the best remedy for me is to just make myself as unavailable as possible to others. I’ll still be cordial and say hi 👋 and bye 👋. But I won’t invest anything anymore in anyone. At work I just go in, do my shift and get out. I wave 👋 to my neighbours and I just live my life. I realize I don’t really need friends. You have to look after yourself caz nobody else will. You really do have to live for yourself. I just learn to make loneliness work for me.
I'd rather my friendships have an abrupt end then slowly drifting apart and becoming strangers to each other
Sometimes it's for the best.
That happened with all mine, i dont want any friends anyway
I’ve never have had lasting friendships in my life. Luckily, I’m married & my husband & I will stay best friends & soul mates forever!
It is so great to hear
a self-help UA-cam
with human voice.
Yes definitely ^_^
I lost almost all those I considered friends due to ideology butting in. Instead of being understanding, they were toxic.
Wow ... blessings 🙏
Losing my best friends all at once was the most painful experience of my life. I was trying to get better for years, but they labeled me a narcissist and all blocked me all at the same time. The grief had me a mess for an entire year.
But it also helped me better understand the things I needed to change. I believe they misunderstood my behaviors, my therapist keeps telling me I'm not a narcissist, and the more I learn about narcissism the more I understand the differences between me and a narcissist.
But I still worked on those traits and I still miss my friends. I wish they could see all the work I put in to change.
I don't think I will ever stop grieving their loss, I saw them as family
I've had similar experiences like these, and there's no shame into admitting these sorts of things. Wherever you're at in the world 🌎 I hope that you continue to heal from a situation that shook you to your core (because that's what it's felt like for me in past friendships) and for better or worse, I've had to take steps to making sure my overall well-being was never in jeopardy, and I would hope you took the same path as well. Blessings 🙏
Friends come & go... Its only natural that we lose them
I had a brutal break up with a friend once. I'm mostly over it by now. It no longer makes me feel uncomfortable to think about and no more haunting dreams. I do definitely still miss the moments we used to enjoy together, and sometimes I wish we could get along again some day.
But as of now, these are just memories. At least I dearly hope they were able to move on too. I could tell us splitting hurt them a lot too.
This was definitely needed a year ago. Sort of.
Its more for my two friends breaking up and splitting our trio. The way they broke it off, felt like two parents divorcing, where i get word from one of them, that they wont be best friends anymore. Nothing ever gets said for those in the middle who have to watch and cant do anything to stop it or fix it. Even one of my best friends whos a bro to me told me there was nothing i could do to fix it. So im left there with feelings of resentment and almost like im just forced to move on, cuz everyone else did. Best i had was my bro and our dnd group. What he meant was how it seemed they were settled on splitting
I play D&D as well. I wanted to tell you that you can't fix something that others have broken. Take care.
Blessings 🙏
This sounds like the same thing that happened to me last week while playing DnD. The worst part is I still feel blindsided cause my friend just randomly got mad. I still don't know the reason why he got mad. That's the main thing that bugs me about this fallout.
The funny thing is, there are two friend groups i had. Both love anime, dnd, video games, and animation. But with the trio i had, we mostly just chilled and relaxed and went with things and watched anime. My dnd group, we hadnt had any problems. It was the trio where we just chilled and relaxed. Thats the friend group that broke it off. Bro said he needed to for his mental health, which he barely ever brought up or talked with me about, compared to the other in our trio. When I thinkabout the trio i lost, i often think about how, we barely connected or communicated. Cant even say i knew their families well. I loved them dearly, but barely knew them. Maybe thats why it fell apart. Or maybe im still looking for an answer. Regardless, reminds me of how ive come to think that if we had morr patience with each other, reallly tried to empathize and not just sympathize, and communicated better, we could at least try to patch it up
This was needed 7 years ago. My friend was pregnant we were supposed to meet up for lunch, but we have lives and I was adapting to being a new mom myself and we forgot to communicate. I told her sorry about not reaching out, she didn't respond for a week and then I asked her if she was OK and she blew up on me and said hurtful things and made it about her. I tried to reach out a few times to see if she was ok, no response. So i said screw it, i dont need this negetivity inmy life and deleted her number and cut her out. I'm still upset about it sometimes. But now I'm awesome friends with my homeboy and his girlfriend and they are amazing people and I'm grateful for them
Sounds like you've been through a lot - but props to you on how far you've come along 🙏 💯
It's been complicated for me, back in middle school I started straying away from my best friend. I didn't feel the same talking to him anymore. He was kinda controlling, judgemental, and honestly quite obnoxious, on top of that I was getting bullied for my friendship with him. I was hesitant to end it because we'd see each other every single day. Overtime I started treating him the same way he was treating me so I could get my getback, but looking back that's probably one of the most immature things ive done in my life; one day we had a big argument and HE ended up ending the friendship, and blackmailed me for months. I felt terrible about it for years and couldn't even hear his name without getting filled with negative emotions, but in recent years, I don't really feel bad anymore because I realized that friendship was legitimately going nowhere anyways.
Thank you...
I REALLY needed this...
Twenty seven years ago...
Better late than never!
This was uploaded when my friends and I really needed it..
We made a hard decision to get a friend out of the group. She has caused all of us emotional distress, and her mental health is bad. We hope she will find people who will help her with her issues or even seek help.
Wow ...
Blessings to all involved 🙏
Peace on 🌎 ❤
For anyone who reads this- I also had a "friend breakup" last year, and it's been a rough time, but I'm starting to get out of it and find genuine new friends. You will find friends. Life will go on. The hard times will pass. You will look back at how broken you felt, and be proud of yourself, as you totally deserve to. You will be happy again❤
I have been needing this video... it has been over a year since ut happened, but it still feels like a stab to the heart sometimes. Reflecting on it, it was literally the worst emotional pain I have ever gone through in my life. I liken it to breaking up with your first deep love, because it kinda was.
I am much better now, but it still feels like i had lost a part of my self. I an atill healing
losing and making friends is hard.
Lord, you are so right. Most of my friendships ended in them betraying me or my family moving away. I'm working on being a better friend. It's taken me 60+ years to learn how to be a good friend, and I am still working on myself. You can do it, but it is hard.
Yep for sure 💯
Something that happened to me quite unexpectedly during Covid, was reconnecting with old friends. Several of them, actually. Ofc this can't always be the case, but if you've drifted apart from friendships you still value and miss, sometimes reaching out, can be worth it. And if they still don't respect you, or appreciate you, maybe you're better off without them.
I’m going to send this to a friendship that ended it helps so much thank you
(First comment)
I recently ended frnship with a good friend after lots of horrible arguments.i think in the start we dont rlly realise the overall behaviour pattern and the toxic traits they have like it took me 2 yrs but slowly with time it starts to affect us in a negative way (for a long time i had self doubts about my abilties coz that person has let me down a hell lot of times), and sometimes we can let go off the things but if it keeps repeating,its time to cut that person off frm ur life and save ur energy n time for urself and ur personal development.
To anyone reading this have a grt day 😊
I experienced a friendship break-up two years ago. Man, that hurt. It was worse than any break-up I've ever had (because you don't expect that to happen with a friend). But everything ever since confirmed that I was right to end that relationship. And though I really miss him and a lot of people tried to help us mend fences, I have yet to see any reason why I should.
I ended a friendship recently due too what I felt was a serious betrayal, and honestly I feel like I may be outgrowing another one. So I definitely needed this at the moment Psych2Go. Thank you.
Thanks for posting this. This is one I might need to watch a time or two again just to keep things in perspective and be reminded that there can be some positives to reach and hold onto.
I had a very difficult situation with a friend recently: inappropriate things said, boundaries not respected or stated enough. And while the friendship isn't lost, I feel like the healing process is helped by being better able to accept whatever path we end up on. Whether that's remaining friends or moving on.
Never lose faith.
Never allow others to push you around or walk all over you.
Be kind to yourself 💯
Blessings 🙏
I lost a friend recently, and it honestly REALLY hurt, she was honestly a toxic friend all the way through, but I can't stop thinking that it was my fault and that I wanna be her friend again, but one of my other friends, who lost her too, she doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all. Of course, I thought this was odd because why wouldn't she care, like not even a little bit, so I started asking questions, and even asked her if she was okay about the loss of the friendship, she said she was not hurting that much because she knew she was a toxic friend, and it just feels good to have that weight off her back. I'm really happy that she has been able to move on. For me, not so much, but I'll eventually get there. This shows how different friends can be from one another.
Nothing better than having a person that you consider your best friend for more than 5 years and suddenly getting replaced because he made other friends and just discards you without saying anything. Great feeling, I'm very happy!
...honestly I'm starting to think life is just better when you're alone, because there will be no people to hurt you anymore.
Yes certainly 💯
As a natural introvert myself, I feel you on this one.
I entered first semester of my undergrad degree in a new city, I don't know anyone, and on the first week I met this girl I had instantaneous affinity with. We were friends for the some weeks, I felt so comfortable with her, but lately she met this new girl from our semester and they have a lot of connection. Now she's not talking to me anymore (she talks to me just for college issues)
That has made me feel really terrible these days. Today I was doing an assignment and they were in the same classroom, they were singing and laughing together
I honestly don't know what to do, but this video helped a lot ❤️🩹
Omg! Nearly this same thing has happened to me and I know it feels awful!
Friendships, I find, are surprisingly ephemeral, and even the people I'm closest to can simply disappear on me. Friendship often seems like a fleeting part of the here-and-now, and not something enduring.
Some people are only in your life for a season. I lost a friendship of over 20 years almost 3 years ago. We don’t speak anymore.
Wow this video is so insightful. I recently had a falling out with a friend too except i dont harbor resentment towards them, nor do i blame myself because i feel like we both made a lot of mistakes. My only regret is that when we ended things, she couldn't understand why i was miserable. I tried so many times to explain my point of view, yet it was always about her. The last i saw her she claims she tried looking at things from my perspective, but she never did. She just blocked me before giving me a chance to reply to her assessment. I do miss her because i feel she's the only person i didn't have to censor my humor around, but she gave up on our friendship ages ago before our falling out, so its probably for the best.
Yes, I agree this vid was extremely insightful and probably one of Psych2Go's best vids in recent memory...although most of the content is good most of the time.
Anyways, yea it can be really frustrating when certain friends or old friends or whoever - just really aren't willing to hold themselves accountable or see your viewpoint even if they say so otherwise. I'm sorry that you had an unfortunate experience as it seemed you really did like this friend and really wanted what was best for you both (I'm assuming) ... but yea sometimes friendships and reflecting upon old friendships or letting go of a specific one (even when you don't really want to) can be super difficult. Blessings 🙏 to you and good luck on this so called journey we call 'life'.
@awesomelegs I do want what's best for both of us. Part of me wants to try to get her back as a friend, but I don't see that happening. It's funny. Her boyfriend told me that since we had our falling out , she's been talking a lot of trash about me behind my back, or she never talked about me at all. I'm not sure how true any of that is, but if it's true, I wonder what that says about me and her. If that's true, then I have to assume she probably hopes I drop dead. Meanwhile, I hope for nothing but the best for her, and I can't bring myself to hate her no matter what she does. It's crazy thinking about it.
@@thewolfofwallstreet627 yea that's actually an incredibly complicated situation (at least I think it is anyway) but it sounds like you're very compassionate and you really truly want your friend or ex-friend to be at peace with themselves, although if it were up to me, I'm not so sure I'd really want what's best for them, but you have an amazing heart, and even if it's broken 💔, at least it's not gone in the sense to where you are rooting for something really bad to happen to her ... but don't get me wrong; it sounds like she did you dirty in many instances. Here's to hoping what her boyfriend said to you was reasonably accurate and not some far-fetched BS story (for lack of a better word or phrase).
@@awesomelegs either way, I'm not sure I want to know.
A lost a friend of mine 2 months ago, we were friends for no more then 8-9 months. But it was great and felt amazing, but when she ended it, It felt like my world came crashing down and that was one of the worst heartbreaks I felt in a LOOONG time. And it hurt like hell. I’ve been still trying to recover from it but it’s been really hard, because she was just great, flaws and all….
Yapping about my ex bestfriend:
My ex best friend ghosted me, and I didn’t even notice anything different until soon before when she stopped responding as much or really dryly. I have no clue why she ghosted me. And then she's apparently now besties with one of my least favorite which I told her why I disliked and she also often said she disliked too. I honestly might've preferred her just yelling at me or something, because I stressed for months about keeping my friendships, especially with her, because I was leaving the school, and basically everyone I knew was going somewhere else, but I also have social anxiety, which made it ten times worse. I don’t know what reasons she would’ve ghosted me especially so out of the blue. I think I was a pretty good best friend to her, obviously I had some faults, but I genuinely think that I'm a good friend in general. Heck, the last time I saw her in person, she brought me multiple souvenirs from Japan. I thought that everything was fine, and we had a great time, or at least I did. I can't figure out what I did wrong and what I need to improve about myself if she doesn’t tell me. After a lot of thinking (unfortunately I have a horrible memory) I realized that she had a lot of faults as a friend and person in general. She has gone through a lot, so it's partially understandable, but I've realized how much she and some others have hurt me without me having realized before. I have mostly moved on, and honestly, don't think about her all too often anymore, usually only every 2 weeks or so, sometimes less. Its been about 9 months since I gave up on trying to get her to give me a genuine response or a response at all, and I've healed a lot, though it obviously still bothers me. I wish she would've just talked to me and explained stuff, maybe we could've even worked it out. Although, looking back, I'm kind of glad that she ended our friendship, though obviously not the way she did it. She was sometimes a negative influence or made fun of some of my interests that I was already insecure about (from previous experiences) and rarely praised me (she did sometimes, though) among other things. I still harbor resentment, unfortunately, but I'm a lot less angry and sad about it than I used to be, so I'm getting there. I honestly feel bad for her, but she's kind of a dick now. Obviously from ghosting me (and most of our old friend group), but also for becoming besties with aforementioned rude girl and being rude together. I haven't talked to her since we stoped being friends (obviously), but from trusted friends (part of old friend group) I'veheard bad things. She's pretty rude now and kinda acts like one of the popular girls, whom she used to claim to hate. I don't understand why she suddenly changed so much and without talking to me at all. I want to say I wish her well, but part of me hates her for hurting me so much, and I know I'll eventually be able to say that completely truthfully, but not yet. I'm still healing. She was my first bestfriend and one of my first deep friendships. I didn’t know what was the minimum was yet. Dispite what I've said, I do hope that she's okay. I still care about her despite everything, and while I do still resent her, I hope she's okay. She's been through a lot, and while she didn't vent to me often (neither of us did), I know that she's delt with and is dealing with a lot of shit. So no, actually, I take it back, I hope that's she doing well as a better person away from her new "bestie". I hope that she grows as I have and more. I wonder what she's been up too. I still have her number, but there's no way I'm going to text her, even if I did, I doubt that she'd respond anyway, lol.
That was a lot, lol. Thanks for this. I needed to be reminded of a lot of this, especially about resentment. I will keep this in mind. :)
Wow ... I'll admit that this is a very compelling yet heartfelt 💕 story. Sounds like you experienced so many ups and downs through your friendship(s) but always know that peace and worth ✌ 🙏 are right round the corner 😊
@@awesomelegs Lol, I forgot I posted this. Thank you!!
@@Simplyatiredfrog no problem ;) I actually replied to several other comments as well and I probably won't remember half of what I said 😂 but like I mentioned, your story is very compelling and relatable and most of the comments I read seemed to involve a lot of passive-aggressive behavior in many of the mourned friendships...though I suppose it's not uncommon for that sort of aspect to be prevalent in such friendships because I've been through it myself...and I'm glad you saw my comment and acknowledged it - even if it was in the slightest yet nicest way possible.
Thanks!!
@@awesomelegs Of course!! :)
Thank you so much the voice artist... For again giving the voice In this video!!! For a long time I wasn't hearing Ur voice in any video.... so I was So upset...!!! Ur voice makes me feel so comfortable, relax, warm nd Happy... Ur voice feels so close to me... it can melt my heart so easily.... I don't know your name... but I was literally missing ur voice so badly!!! Thanks for coming back!!! Nd lot's of love for you dear sister... 🥺❤️✨
I’ve found it tough in the past addressing issues and walking away from unhealthy friendships because I don’t like the thought of hurting people I care about. But there’s only so much I’ll put up with before enough is enough and I start to push back and stand up for myself.
Friendship breakups are tough, it’s usually the people I hangout with the most that I end up walking away from so it’s a big change to my social life. And when I’m feeling tired or lonely then I end up thinking back on things, questioning the choices I made then and questioning whether it’s worth trying to patch things up now. It’s being on your own, whether it’s out of choice or circumstance, you have all this extra time on your hands but don’t know what to do with it and it feels like you’ve have to start all over again with making new friends.
Yes a lot of this can be difficult to face head on - and especially difficult to talk about ... but I believe we all have different ways of grieving and handling certain things ... though I'm sorry if you've seem rather conflicted on how you view friendships...because I've never really been the greatest with it either ... but I feel like with each passing minute, hour, week, month, year, etc...things eventually get better when old and past friendships are mourned ... but again, everyone grieves differently. I believe that time heals many wounds...and letting go (however not completely forgetting certain friendships) is no exception either. Nevertheless; blessings 🙏 and peace ✌ on 🌎 ❤
My former friend has quite low self esteem and started to use my to feel better about herself. Always trying to bring me or others down. Saying mean things, mean jokes. Never bad enough to make me stop loving her but enough to make me feel sad. The first time I addressed her behavior I never heard anything meaningful again. It was a bit traumatic because we grew up together. But other friendships in my life are a source of joy and lift me up instead of bring me down and that's what helped me move on.
I needed this, a friend and I just ended a friendship, possibly temporary but could be permanently, we were causing trauma and stress for each other, and we were having communication issues to bring it up, so we didn't know until it blew up today. I'm sad, I'm hurting a lot, and I feel like I'm lost because I haven't had any of my other friends reach out. So I'm trying to walk a lonely road to the next venture.
Sorry you're dealing with this...blessings 🙏
I just ended a friendship for the 1st time and when it happend i lost 2, a few months ago. It was the 1st time something like that had happened to me, and i went through these exact stages. Watching this video made me realize that it is a part of life and people change, plus i cant keep all my friends and will eventually have to let some of them go.
Would just like to say thank you for this video. My BFF was dealing with losing a friend that was treating us all badly and this came out right as I was talking with my BFF about it. Though they didn’t watch it until last night, they said it really helped them out and realize that things will get better over time and that they still have other friends to help them through it. So thank you all for this perfectly timed video
I love this! I had my longest friendship end recently. And it hurt so much, but I carried on. And now I feel even better! I learned so much about it. I have so much time for me!
Yesss 💯
It's like the song 🎶 by the band 'Kansas' ; "Carry on my wayward son".
This video is very helpful for me right now. I’m going through a friendship that’s drifting apart. Thank you so much 😊
I had a rough falling out with some friends recently and fell into a pit of sadness and anger. Thank you for this video! It really helped me reflect and sort my feelings.
I have ended a few friendships a few months ago and I’m still grieving… They were very close friends and this video keep me aware of what they did and what I did. This was very informative and I’m thankful for that!
I ended my friendship and leave my ex. Sometimes I blame myself thinking that maybe I'm just toxic person... But then I remember why I end it all at the first place. 😮💨
Your videos truly are a sorce of comfort whenever I am going through a hard time. You have the answere to everything. Thank you :)
My best friend of almost 13 years left me a few months ago.
To cut a long story short: he lied to his girlfriend about who he was out and about with and she caught him hanging out with me. they almost broke up and he apparently blames me for it. Dude didn’t even give me the courtesy of allowing me to say goodbye. A real „Dick move“ but I still wish them all the best even though it really stings
Needed this.
Three weeks ago, I cut ties with a friend because he was quitting something. When I asked about exceptions, he told me there were none. I was crying so much and it all happened at the worst time possible.
I can’t quite disclose everything, so this is the short of it.
I've been dealing with an ended friendship for about 6 months, so this couldn't come at a better time, so thanks! 👍
The timing of this video couldn't be better...thanks a lot!!
I really needed this one, perfect timing 🙏
I don't know how you guys always have the best timing with these videos but I appreciate it every time. thank you :)
It's amazing for sure 💯
I really needed this, I just recently lost a lot of high school friends. I went through everything in this video before seeing it. I'm happily growing and moving on
This hit me hard, so thank you for making a video about this.
Just a few months ago, I broke friendships with a few people from a small fandom that I was in online. It was all because I chose to voice some opinions I had that they extremely disagreed with, so they all chose to unfollow & block me for good because of it. One of them even messaged me in such a mean way, that it made me wonder if I truly was their friend to begin with... and it really hurt my soul to read it. To think that they thought I was such an evil person now, when only a year or two ago, they adored my work & enjoyed talking to me...
Luckily, time has moved on & I have done the same - I've focused on my true friends that have stuck by my side & honestly, I left most of that fandom behind, even though I am still a fan of it (I'm just not a fan of most of the people in it). It's been difficult, but I feel happier with the newer friends that I'm making & what I choose to focus on now.
I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad you were able to find genuine friends in the end. Fandoms can be very sticky. I can definitely relate to your story as mine happened recently. I recently joined a Discord server dedicated to 2 fandoms (the creator of the group creates his own show the server is mostly dedicated to that which isn’t that popular and also works on a show that’s much more popular) I joined the server a couple of years ago but I felt like I never fit in so I left and recently rejoined a few weeks ago in hopes things would be different. Unfortunately it wasn’t. Every time I’d ask a question I’d either get ignored or get an aggressive and snarky response. I got banned after asking a few questions and saying something (I admit was not a good way to say it. If I could go back in time I would’ve definitely said things differently) and the whole server clowned me and started to insult me.
That’s when I learned the hard way that this particular fandom (the bigger one) was infamous for entitled fans and fans who work on the newer episodes of the show. I knew the server wasn’t even worth coming back to and I already have a bunch of family and friends (sone non-toxic fans of the fandom) who love me for who I am and understand and accept my flaws. I’m now focusing on them. I’m kinda taking a break from the big fandom so I don’t think of the toxic people much.
So sorry that you're dealing with a lot of hardships and what not...but yea human relationships/friendships are complicated sometimes...and (me) having replied to almost every comment in this chat; I feel I have an arbitrary duty to want to help others going through experiences that me or all the rest of us are going through. None of us are alone in this journey we call 'life'.... and there's absolutely no shame at all to having these sorts of conversations and knowing that while friendships are important in certain instances; so is our own mental well-being along with our goals, aspirations, and being able to self-regulate; even when the going gets tough. Blessings 🙏 and good luck 🤞 to whoever you are...and like the song 🎶 by the band 'Journey' ; "Don't stop believing".
*Juuchan17 👍 👍 🙏 ❤
Five of my best friends died too early. I really have no friends left now.
I literally had a fight with my roommate last night and she left the room today. This video couldn't have come at a better time.
my friendship with this channel is irreplaceable
I had to end a friendship with one of my really longtime best friends about 7 years ago due to how toxic she was becoming. Not exactly her fault but she kept choosing to be with unhealthy people who were warping her mind and behaviors. I’m still struggling with the anger and grief of the loss but it’s getting better slowly, day by day.
Thank you so much! I am currently recovering from my Best Friend leaving me, I was really struggling.
I lost a friendship 17 months ago that still makes me wanna cry and get drunk just to numb the pain.
I've lost more friends since then. Basically for the same reason. A constant source of drama and pain in my life that I can't ever seem to walk away from because without it, I have nothing.
I was alone without a friend in the world for many years and I'm too afraid of going back to that loneliness and isolation even though the alternative is clinging to a constant source of negativity that is ruining good things in my life over and over again.
No,. You don’t need that friendship! Not if it’s ruining things for you! Number One Rule,. Keep people in your life who help you,. Who are Positive & Good to you! People who are there for you!
@@jimcowan8770 I'll politely ask you to chill, since you seem to have misunderstood what I said. You didn't come off very good in that reply. Given the nature of this channel, please don't be getting on people's case like that. It's the last thing any of us need.
@@commie_maybe What? What Are You Talking About? How did I get on your case? Please Explain!
@jimcowan8770 The excessive use of exclamation marks is obnoxious. Perhaps you meant well, but with that punctuation, you may as well have used ALL CAPS!!!!!
@@commie_maybe There’s 4! And That’s Your Problem? Seriously? I was just trying to be nice to you! (Needed!). That’s All I was doing trying to help you out! Btw,. I normally always use exclamation point! Always! That Shouldn’t bother you. 🙄. I think you need help if That’s what bothers you! (Needed!).
This was timed so perfectly
I really needed to hear this thank you guys
I was the one who ended a very important friendship of almost 7 years. I genuinely thought we would be friends forever but something happened that made me feel terrible and while we could have stayed friends, I did not want to cause problems to her when she was finally getting a better life, since I realised I would probably hurt her at one point and so I thought it would be better if I ended our friendship right there when she was doing good instead of doing bad. She still does not know exactly why I walked away and I know I hurt her upfront, but I hope she is now doing better. I do not know if one day I will be able to forget her because I still feel bad about it and I think of her all the time and miss her terribly but sometimes we have to do things that are unpleasant to keep people we care safe, even if it means safe from us.
Yep lessons & growth!! ❤
I needed this sm rn thanks!
I’m here!! Also this is very relatable.
I lost many of my best friends and one I considered a brother it’s sad but have to let it go and move on
A good friend of mine since high school decided to end our friendship of 6-7 years out of nowhere. I still find myself asking what happened but I know that the only thing I can do is move on. I still think of her daily and wish she gave me closure but that’s not I’m entitled to and she doesn’t need to go into detail if she doesn’t want to. Moving on is the best thing that I learned
The fact yesterday my friend said she don't wanna be friend with me and this video pops up
Wow ... lol
I needed this.
perfect timing 🤠
I figured at a young age that certain friends don’t stick around or help you be a better person.
I have only four friends that I’m still in contact with that I’ve known since elementary/middle/highschool. And two of them I reconnected with after I moved away and got married.
You don’t need a ton of friends. It sucks when things don’t work out, but be true to yourself. And some people really aren’t good to be around anyway. I’m far happier with my four friends that I’ve know. For over a decade than a bunch I’ve kept a hold of for no reason.
thank you sister i feel much better after watching this❤
Wow I can’t believe the timing of this video I had what I thought was the perfect relationship a lover soulmate best freind I thought we’d be together forever I wrote poetry we sang we were so compatible we knew each other for many years and no one else existed outside our relationship then I lost my daughter 8 years ago and he left with out a reason why which was so out of character for him nothing would have kept him away he was 20years older than me and his health was failing him but I don’t know if that was the reason he left he was such a big part of my life and I still grieve for him I love him one day and hate him the next but that’s how we were couldn’t live with him couldn’t live without him but ido wish him well and hope he’s happy and well thanks for the video 😊❤️
Sheesh, just when a friend dumped me because she feels a resentment with a person we know in common. I chose to not cut the relationship with the other person (rule: not my drama). She was ok with it since it was a neutral condition and time after that condition was clear (to avoid placing me in an awkward position and her in a painful one), she comes saying that she's still hurt for stuff that hasn't happened (I remain neutral and don't incline to her nor the other person's side) because she's sure that "I'm laughing, enjoying, living and sleeping peacefully with people that actually hurt her on purpose while she's hurting in a corner".
Much much resentment, so much that it even splashed me when I have nothing to do with the other gal
The grieving, i litterally cried for more than 20mins yesterday from not being able to talk with one of my online friends, i havent seen him for a while and i just hope he isnt dead
I hope that was just catastrophising, i cant remember how i distracted myself to stop crying
I miss the familiarity of his presence
I don't have any friends from childhood I just stayed at the sidelines 🙂 peoples only come to me when they want something.
I just felt numb in my memories.
I need this so thank you!
Hope this video helps you!
@@Psych2go it will, so thanks!
What I've learned from my "friendships" is to not trust people. I have ended my last friendship and this was the last one for me. Not gonna wish them well either. I'm done with being nice no matter what.
the absolute video which i need for noww...!! perfect timing didi ☺ thanks😛
I went through years of abuse by someone I called my best friend. I used to beat myself up for not being able to move on from the pain. I severed the relationship after all. She told me that abuse like that can take a long time to heal but I’m already doing better. I give myself some rest if I go back to dreaming about her or if I go into a whiplash of flashbacks. I used to hide when I went to Raising Canes cause I was that afraid and thought she was there. Haven’t been able to return. But reflecting, I realize I’m in a way better place than I ever been
Thank you❤️🔥
Our friendship ended last year though I’m still having relapses of what I should have done to save our friendship. I continue to blame myself and up to now I feel lost. I think I won’t find a person like her. I hope I can heal in time and learn from the mistakes I’ve made.
Back in January, me and my best friend got into a argument on messages. It was a while ago but I am still grieving about him. Something about that friend just clicked, I made the happiest moments in my life. But all good things must come to a end. I’ve tried moving on but I can just never get rid of the fact that he is never coming back. Now my friends said that he was a toxic friend. I didn’t understand why, but I knew now. He would talk behind peoples back, insult his own friends, make people embarrassed, etc. Now I’m not saying he is the worst person, I’ve also done my fair share of bad stuff, but it was toxic and prone to ends soon.
I got reminded of that one time when both of my closest friends suddenly started hating each other and claiming that they wanted to make it up, but the other side refuses to. Despite all this, both decided to remain close to me. Eventually, I attempted an unsuccessful mediation of both sides, which caused me to take the difficult decision to temporarily cut off my relationships with the two friends until they repaired their bonds. By some miracle, they eventually did and we remain besties to date.