New Approach to Dating
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2023
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As a 25 yo boy, my advice will be to just stay away from the alcohol even at the second date.
I'm 25, but will continue to refer to myself as a girl, thanks to you haha. But yes, it's definitely a good idea to avoid the alcohol👍
If you are 25 don’t call yourself a boy you are a man
@@Sabrina-gf2zk it actually matters ya dumby
@Simon H It was completely unnecessary? The guy can call himself a boy or a man, it makes no difference to his life or the lives of others
@Sabrina If you are 25 years old, you are a man. It's not a big deal. It's a minor correction
I just avoid the alcohol all together. People that use alcohol as a personality trait are insufferable
Same! co workers talking bout they drink and shit all the time and go to clubs and strip clubs im 27 and all i do is work come home and smoke pot and i feel happy lol
@@Krim138 I'm 26 and I work at home so I pretty much never do anything
@@WillyG3234 shit if i worked from home id be the same haha
@KRIM yeah I dont smoke or drink anything, just not my thing. Go out to do hot rod shit and thats it
😂😂😂 A personality trait! That’s the best way anybody has put it
My first date with my wife was a coffee date. We talked for 3 hours straight.
correct
@@des1510wong
That's nice
We are not designed to have multiple sexual partners. It dilutes the soul
No, we were designed for polygamy. Monogamy and soul stuff were invented by religion which contradicts our animal nature
Wow, deep.
Says no human male ever. Men are designed to spread seed. Without that there’s no species. Sorry.
What the? Yes we are, biologically. Remember the body. What you are referring to as a design part, is something we were raised to value, largely due to being in a religious society.
Lol virgin
dont go for dating that ends up sleeping around with random people stop the hook up culture. marry someone you love and sleep with them for the rest of your life.
There is no economic incentive to get married now. Most people now are often too infantile for a commitment like marriage as well.
You're assuming everyone wants boring monogamy.
@@davidz3879 only boring people have boring monogamy. Is that your experience?
@@ev6402 Only boring people want to be monogamous.
@@davidz3879 sorry that's your reality
Celibacy… until you find a friendship growing into something deeper.
If only everyone had that thinking. Dysfunctional families wouldn't exist. Instead people following stupid stereotyped using each other instead becoming best friends following inlove with a heart but now they use good people and sleep around with toxic narcissists
Trad life ftw💪😂
But... no one ever makes out of the friend zone.
Being friends with a woman, lol
that's fairy type shit. no thanks
I cracked the code early on:
- Never sleep with someone who hasn't made it official. I know you're going to wait for a while but it's very worth it.
- No online dating apps.
- View a date as an opportunity to develop your social skills rather than a situation where you HAVE to get someone.
- Stay open within the date conversation but be honest with yourself if something is off/against your values.
This is a very mature approach. Well done.
@@ogrbell8297 Thank you! I'm engaged now 😁
@@suzannescorner199 congratulations, I pray God blesses your wisdom with a fruitful and long marriage. ❤
How did you get dates without dating apps? 😅
@@metanoiate met organically. I do volunteering work, I network a lot and I always ask my friends to introduce me to acquaintances (regardless of gender!).
As a dude. I was on a date and it wasnt going well. Lets say no spark. I presumed she was just not into me, totally fair. I proposed this to my date and said hey let me get one more round in and we go our separate ways. The whole experience changed and we both relaxed. We had another few, found some common ground and decided to try again. 7 months in and we are crazy in love. We are all complicated and pressure can ruin dates.
Very wise advice. People can be nervous about meeting another "jerk/user"(non gender specific). We all have bad days and hopefully we are redeemable before we part at the end of the date. 🌷
As a guy a coffee date is a good idea bc it'll weed out the meal ticket or get hammered for free gals. If they agree to a coffee date theres at least a higher probability that they genuinely want to go out with you
Plus. A cute local coffee shop is an adorable and pleasant atmosphere for a first date!
@@jarastar6499 Who gives a f if it's cute?.
@@cosmancho2959 because dates should be cute right? Do you want to have a date in a trash dumpster or a homeless encampment?
@@jarastar6499 Idk,never had one.
@CosManCho she cares. Relax amiga 😌
People don’t understand that sleeping around a lot can really have negative effects on your future relationships and how you value others.
Dating becomes a habit. You learn strategies that result in what you want in the short term.
The goal ends up being having a good date, getting what you want out of it, instead of vetting a partner.
@James Wayne That's a really common belief amongst certain types of men but it has no basis in reality.
If you're the sort of person who will pass on the love of your life b/c they slept around at some point, you're unlikely to find another one.
When I glanced over this comment I read “really have negative effects on your furniture” 😂😂😂 true tho 🤷🏻♂️
that's why I've stopped dating men who sleep around or watch porn.
@@GiantAsteroid-2024 that’s entirely wrong. Lots of people this generation sleep around, but some don’t.
As a woman who practices celibacy, I have found dating to be extremely difficult. A lot of people are so used to having access to others, that when you aren’t like that. They automatically assume you don’t want to be with them.
Good luck!
Men who are Christians should respect your stance. Just be upfront about it. I'm sure it's difficult to navigate, but IMO that's why you have a better chance IF both partners are Christians. So you both respect God's take on sex outside of marriage. (this is what I've been telling my friends complaining about the opposite sex)
It's unfortunate, but it's because of how rare it is that it is not believable that you are. Plus you weed out all the dudes that are just looking to pump and dump.
BJ
I would love to find a woman like that. I've had enough sex with enough women to know that I'd rather fall in love with a person and not a body. It's not just you if a man tells a woman he's celibate she's going to assume he's got a small pp or he's strange.
Sex always causes an attachment unless your a disconnected person then you have a bigger issue that needs to be fixed before being healthy enough to date another healthy person.
Yeah. Neither men nor women should drink with a stranger.
You know why because you will miss a ton of red flags ,( if there is any) you will not ask important question but you rather will get attached to the good moment shared with that person and it wont work long term
@@noneofyourbuizness more than missing red flags, you will not be able to read body language accurately, and you will not be prepared to make decisions that you wont regret later.
this should really be a no-brainer. If you drink with a stranger (on a date), you're more likely to go home with them. if you go home with them drunk you're more likely to have sex with them. but all this is happening in a state that we know results in almost exclusively bad decisions.
as a man you do not ever want to sleep with a woman that you dont want to sleep with. as a woman you're opening yourself up to date rape.
all initial dates with someone should be 100% sober. always.
Shouldn’t drink together?
Psst people today are sleeping with complete strangers like it’s their job!
It’s really scary how normalized it’s become.
Women have devalued themselves beyond repair.
When something is given away freely it loses value.
Then they go online and cry about being ghosted by a man they actually like after sleeping together.
As if he’s going to see you as wife material when you gave it up after 3 drinks and a meal (or less!!)
Smh.
Feminism LIES to women!!
alcholol in general forbidden for a reason , so don't drink alcohol at all
Hahaha gees, you must have been fun at parties
First dates are interviews. The dinner dates come much later.
This is probably I was bad at dating. I didnt know coffee date was a thing until I started dating again in my late 20s. I started dating in the 90s. In my teens and early 20s, we have dinner, walk together, and movies on the first date. I paid for everything. Sometimes I'll buy her something at the store if I really liked her like a flower or a something to remember the date. It was a nice evening together. Even if I didn't like the girl that much. The dates were usually fun. Sometimes I get to hold their hands and maybe a kiss at the end of the date. I used miss dating, but I now I am completely dreading dating. I'm in a serious relationship again if you were thinking of it. Now is like speed dating in the 90s. Dates are bascially job interviews. When did anybody had fun at a job interview? It also implies I need to be good enough for her which kill any fun at all. They badgered me with questions, I got dressed up for 30mintues of women questioning me if I'm good enough for her, and now I need to pay for the coffee afterwards. They care so much about how much money I making. I want to be with a person I can have fun with the rest of my life and I dont want to be somebody's ATM.
What if she insists on a dinner date for your first date?
@@davidz3879 Sure... that doesnt happen though. They are all about the coffee dates. I'm also in a serious relationship and I'm sure it is going to be way different if I ever date again or when my son dates.
@@alexlilano1931 It happens a lot. When I suggest coffee, they often say "No, you're taking me to dinner".
@@davidz3879then the interview is over right there. Bye.
Take care brother and sister. Remember to choose someone that make you feel at peace when you meet him or her.
Exactly! That's a mistake I made and suffer with being always on edge or anxious
It’s all about looks
My thing with coffee dates is that I feel too vulnerable. Brightly lit, middle of the day, caffeinated conversation sessions that basically feel like an interview. It’s not a vibe. Dinner with or without drinks is a nicer time, and I think the commitment to a dinner together puts more intention towards the date to begin with. Coffee is too casual and doesn’t set an inviting tone. That’s my opinion.
Go for a walk . Coffee dates are super awkward ❤
Poorly aged white ♀️
Stay away from alcohol all together! It’s not worth it…
Finally got clean about a month ago after years of drinking. Crazy to think how different my pov was even a few months ago
Fuck yea stay away from this shiiiit
@@donovan_9794 good for you congrates
💯
A little bit of alcohol sometimes doesn’t hurt. Often times when people have a little buzz going the conversations flow better, people are in an elevated mood, its easier to talk about deeper stuff, people are more open.
The sad part is that most people don’t stop there. They keep going until they can barely stand, vomit, blackout, wake up with a hangover that lasts three days, wreck your health etc etc.
Met my wife when we were both drunk at a holiday party and got introduced by a mutual friend. A little kissing and lots of flirting that night but nothing else. After that our next few dates were sober and also didn't go all the way. We've been together for 18, married for 15, 2 kids together. I wasn't even supposed to go out that night. Glad I did!
👏👏👏👏
Noice
That is not the same as this lady explained 💀💀💀
Crazy how un known forces tend to push us to where we need to be some times. No matter what each individual person believes in weather it's one of the God's out of all the religious we have or fate pushing us in the right direction or just plain ol dumb luck
@@sir3958 exactly. he shared it knowing that a different approach from mikhaila’s could also end up well
Don’t give away something that is valuable, if you do it’s not valuable. At least that’s how every man thinks.
Nah that's if you want to date the guy long term. A lot of times dudes just wanna smash. We don't always want to keep you. I'm always honest about it but thinking not giving it up on the first date will make him stay with you is funny af cuz it's beyond false.
@@codmania6129that’s incorrect if you give it up on the first date there’s a 100% chance he’s not sticking around if he’s a “quality man”. He may not stick around if you don’t but you don’t want that one for long term though. The point is landing a “quality man” if you give it up on the first date and he sticks around you landed a problem that you yourself are not going to want later.
“I still sleep around just not on the first date” 😂
That’s all you grasped? Sorry for you
I can’t believe I put her dad on such a high pedestal and I tried to listen to him, and tried believing in him and downloading his wisdom into my brain believing everything he said, then I find out his daughter fornicates with Andrew Tate and goes drinking with random guys, and then getting piped down by the same random guys. I now know why after 3 years. I can’t respect a man that cannot practice what they preach. She should keep these things in private all she’s doing is tarnishing her dads legacy.
@@DZE457how did her actions affect his name he didnt fuck andrew tate
@@chisomo8088Nc thats what she said.... And,she is run through..
You still sleeps around it's just that she drinks coffee now so she won't make her dad look bad
Reminds of Russian dating - there is no ugly date,
There's not enough alcohol on that date.
will hyping up these mf's ever stop?
@@lasa1211 hyping up alcoholism?
Should be right, for those seeking to break apart the Russian Federation, and milk all of it's people for natural resources, and human talent.
😭
I dated a Russian girl. This is accurate. Except she was horrible.
Or Polish one: Let's leave beautiful women to a guys without imagination. 😄
My grandmother actually gave me similar advice. Your first date should always be in the day for coffee or something light
Dude perfectly said. No alcohol. You both feel better the next day that it was pure af. Nothing compares to intimacy, compassion, flirting looking at the woman's eyes and whatnot, especially when she's into you and likewise. ahh the 90's :))
Sleeping around in youth requires a lot of therapy in your 40’s plus you never settle. Trust someone who’s done it and I’m 40.😮 Now I’m single since 4 years as part of the emotional healing process.
Dang repercussions we didn’t know we’d pay then.
Being single is good marriage is one of many phases of humanity!
Appreciate your amazing honesty & your great comment!
Luv&Peace ❤✌🏼💫
Cheers 🥂⚘
So interesting. On every regrets of your 20s Quora and Reddit posts, many 30+ people said they wish they had more sex. 😂😂😂 A few said comments like yours. Maybe it's balance.
Hook up culture ruined my ability to be in a stable relationship. It’s hard getting over how easily replaceable we are to each other. Working on it tho
Thats feminist indoctrination, men are designed to be able to sleep around, its how our biology is, stop feeling sorry for yourself, smash h*es till you find a pretty virgin to marry and have children with, its that simple.
I don't mean my comment to be critical at all. What I wanted to say is that we are only easily replaceable if we view each other as sex objects. But you must know people, who you don't have sex with, who you view much differently than that. Think about the things that make these people irreplaceable. Maybe it's the way they tell a story, the way they see the best in you, the bonding you've done with them through tough times, etc. You've got to look for and identify these traits in your sexual partner too. And there is certainly more to relationships than sex.
Did you try to become friends with your hookups? I mean, you can enjoy sex multiple times . have multiple friends for sex and multiple friends for sex and non sex stuff. Build some relationships but it doesn't have to be exclusive. You create bonding, emotional connection and also not get bored
I’m with you man.
@@mr.hardtruth8026 thats the worst advice I've ever heard in my life
“When I got older I stopped drinking alcohol. Several years later at 22…” wtf 😂
Nah I was thinking the same thing😂 Like how long was she going on drinking dates before 22?
Yeah I thought the same
She's from Canada, younger drinking age :D
@@willcaywood8362 22 is still a kid basically
She did say when she “got a little bit older”…”and then when I was 22 I started going on coffee dates”. If anyone considers her a kid at that point, then she’s pretty much wiser than most others who don’t figure these things out until their 30+ years old.
I met my wonderful partner after I decided to stop drinking alcohol on dates. I went on many bad sober dates before I met him, and it was easy to end the date early if I didn't like the person because I wasn't drinking myself into thinking I was liking them. I was also able to pick up on red flags more quickly because I had a clear head.
If you keep asking yourself "where are all of the good women/men?" they are everywhere. But if you're clouding your judgement with a poison during a process that leads you to making one of the most important decisions in your life... good luck. You're going to have a much harder time finding them.
At 22 I knew nothing about dating 💀
Idk why any of the dates have to involve alcohol ever 🤷🏻♀️
Agreed. Alcohol is unnecessary.
Because it lightens the mood, duhhh don’t act dumb lol
@@SunnyLovetts makes me nervous and feel stupid and clumsy af. Never lightens my mood.
Alcohol lifts inhibitions.
@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier it usually just lifts my lunch after more than two 🤣🤣🤣 then makes me want to sleep.
I may have an allergy to it honestly. I’ve never been a drinker.
Woman should stay away from alcohol especially on a date.
Its not good for either, alcohol is a doorway to hookup culture for men and women. Just not good. ☮️
@@jaydengilbert5017 true but more for woman. Drunk woman are easy to bed.
yup i made this mistake once and accidentally got blackout lmao was not a good time
Men too! they might start raping.
@@santiago7886 It definitely makes it easier for a man to bed them but same with dudes like an attractive sober chick could def bed most sauced men. 😂 right?
Bottom line, go with your gut
If your gut tells you “there’s something off/wrong” that you can’t quite figure out, that’s enough to know self preservation must step into action
All the "girls" I met at bars or clubs never worked out. Those are low caliber women. Sure, they were physically pretty, but they were very shallow and lacked substance.
I met my [now] wife during my last semester in college and we didn't drink together for the first 3 months. She was also the first woman I was willing to wait 6 months to sleep with. That's when we both knew we were right for each other. It took me a while, but I did marry her and it's been a wonderful decade since.
I did the same thing!!!! I did a coffee date, and I told them beforehand that I only had an hour to begin with so their feelings wouldn't be hurt. I would leave, no harm done. When I met my husband, we chatted for hours! Went on a second date. We are celebrating our 10 year anniversary next month. 💙 The secret is don't waste time with people who are not meant for you. It's easy to fall in love with the wrong person. The second you know it's not going to work..... leave.
Constantly moving FORWARD, never look to the past, and never get attached too easily. I know so many people who get attached quick and even if they miserable and they don't even like or love each other they torture themselves through it for years and sometimes even the rest of their lives. It's absolutely R*TARDED.
Nice story. And, Happy Anniversary to you two. John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8-10 :o) Kent Wilbourne, Ogden, Utah, 2/25/23.
My fiance and I never dated. We were friends for a week and a half and got to know a ton about each other because we clicked hard-core right off the bat. Then he asked permission to begin courting me. Inside of a month later we were engaged. No alcohol, no sex, complete respect for what we each bring to the table/need. 6 months later life is absolutely incredible. We are committed to loving one another purely and selflessly until death do us part.
I hope it stays good. I truly hope the best for you and your partner.
Realistically, 6 months isn’t a long time and being and older person I have seen many highly intense relationships fizzle out after a few years.
Especially ones with very good bedroom chemistry. Definitely don’t want to build a relationship off of that (been there done that) because passion turns to resentment real fast!!
I’ve seen it many times with many couples!
My husband and I have been married over 15 years (together much longer) and are the closest we’ve ever been. A few years ago I truly thought we’d end up divorced when the kids finished school but we stuck it out and so glad we did.
Our love for each other has grown through the hard times.
I hope that you have the same experience. Just don’t ever give up on each other.
Best wishes, xoxo
Yes! Thank you. So many people think this is impossible. I did a similar thing with my husband. We celebrate 15 years of marriage this week.
What kind of wimp asks permission to court a woman? Is this 1920?
Also 6 months?
Lmao. You must be like 15
@@Jay-og4yb Insult us all you wish. It doesn't faze us in the slightest. I hope and pray that if you've not yet found your soul mate, then it happens for you soon. God bless and Happy V-Day 😊
Nice story. Sensible. John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8-10 :o) Kent Wilbourne, Ogden, Utah, 2/25/23.
"When I got a bit older....." There it is 😂
and had a kid is what she should have added
22 is a baby.
Never go on a talk date, like a dinner there needs to be an activity in between so you don’t have to be in conversation for the whole time and it also makes it really easy to not have to drink alcohol to smooth things out
Interesting I like this.
Nah a dinner date can be awful if you find you don’t have chemistry because youre stuck there together awkwardly for a long ass time. And in addition to that youre probably seated across from eachother which isn’t the best for a first date because it feels like a job interview.
@@CamKnoppMusic good advice for sure.
Idk… I think alcohol should only come into play once your officially dating. Get to *KNOW* the person you’re interested in before letting down you inhibitions.
You're right about that but most of the time alcohol will show up unexpectedly.
@@phaihim6248 Have a strong mindset and you wont want it
I rarely drink alcohol when I go out anymore. I want my awareness to be all there. And I want to know if I can be around a person without alcohol.
Beautiful comment friend 🫡🫡
Agreed
Makes sense
What I like about Mikhaila that the only reason of her being relevant is being the daughter of Jordan Peterson. She clearly has some problems. She dated Andrew Tate. She has to die her hair and wear red make up on her mouth for particularly no reason and tries to choose her clothes to be sexually attractive. Plus she has her fathers obsession with performance, power and IQ, but the charisma and the genius is lacking at the same time. So in the end we have an overconfident elitist ruthless woman without her fathers moral compass and insecurity. It's a dangerous combination of traits. Jordan is using social media to save people from a miserable life, Mikhaila is not. She makes me shiver.
Dating as an adult seems terrifying, with so many unwritten rules. I started dating my husband as matching awkward 16 year olds, which was a much easier place to start.
A woman that's self aware is rare. Many women need to get real with themselves like her.
She is right. Alcohol makes one make the worst dating decisions.
gets me laid everytime 😂
Life decisions as well.
The first date should be short simple and split the bill if you don’t like them. It’s a clear signal to me if a girl wants to pay is because they don’t want another date and if the guys says he wants to split it he really had a terrible time.
That's polite social etiquette. There are an increasing number of women who are foodies and will go on dates for decades if they don't have to pay... including my ex lol
How about we split the bill across the board. No point going further with a chick who doesn't have a job and is just using you for a free meal.
I had a nice date and split the bill cuz it's the fair thing to do - barely knew her up to that point, was nice, she can pay her way lol she's a big girl
Lol "if you don't like them".
Winner right here folks
That is not a definite. I had a first date and the woman was adamant that she paid for her own coffee. We went out again and her defenses were lifted. Everyone is different.
Blind/online Dating is such a horrible thing. Dating might be good if you know someone at work or school and then going out to know a bit more.
heres an easier approach, develop a moral compass that is stronger than your situational compass.
Hook up culture is extremely damaging long term ESPECIALLY for woman. Have self respect and men will respect you as well.
Most men are permanently excluded from the hookup culture. It's a subculture.
Lol
Yeah dude you feel disgusting 😂
Sleeping around is disgusting for both genders . Men as well. As a woman with only 2 previous partners. A man who sleeps around is a big turn off
Men who sleep around are f disgusting and don’t deserve a good clean loyal wife.
I would never marry a man that thinks it’s ok to sleep around for men but not women.
I don’t like sleeping around, I believe in loyalty, faithfulness and staying with one man for the rest of my life but women who think like me and are clean would never date/marry men who are already used by other women, we’d rather date a clean faithful loyal man with values.
Men who sleep around have lots of problems, mental health problems, are unstable and they can’t ever be faithful.
I recommend clean faithful women who don’t sleep around to NEVER marry a man that has already sleep around and been used, a man like that could never be a good husband.
That’s some solid advice. I could really have done with someone giving me such valuable information when I was growing up. Being the only girl with five brothers losing my mother at the age of 12 burying her on Christmas Eve and then my dad passing five years later and having no one to help me through the impressionable teenage years into young adulthood.
I’m sorry you had that childhood, that stinks and it wasn’t your fault. I wish you well in life.
@@jonlopez07 that’s really nice of you thank you. Wasn’t ideal but taught me so much going through it.
Trauma dump
@@pietponger4074 you didn’t have to read my comment just like you don’t have to watch the video. I didn’t mean to dump my trauma on anyone so I’m sorry.
@@tinamariewebb4449 It was a nice bit of share, and I know where you're coming from. Please don't listen to the idiots who love to post sour stuff. It's that person's trauma that was dumped with such negativity. Your comment was positively human and very welcome.
My #1 rule. No alcohol pubs or clubs
It is realllly scary to meet up with a stranger and drink. Anything could happen and being impaired is not the best defense.
I think this is a good way to find out who actually has a genuine interest in you and isn't just looking to use you.
It changed everything for me when I became christian.
No sex before marriage. Finally, I'm free!
I don't have to worry about men so much anymore. And spend my energy trying to figure out if there is a potential. No sex before marriage.
No more wasting time on men who are not alligned with my values. It is so easy. I'm finally free!
AND knowing that I am God's daughter... It changed everything. I am valuable. My body is valuable. My soul is valuable. I am not going to waste it. No more hookups and one night stands. I am valuable
Yeeeesssss!!! You are precious and very valuable ❣ #JesusChangesEverything
So you used to have one night stands and hookups but now you expect a guy to wait until marriage for sex? Lmaoooo you can't make this shit up. No self respecting man will accept those terms and conditions. Why wait years for sex when other guys fucked you after chatting for a few hours? Only spineless losers will take a woman like that. Only a virgin can demand a man to wait until marriage and actually be taken seriously
What do you mean 'no more'? Are you now gonna make your future husband wait for something other guys got for free? This is ulimate disrespect for future husband.
😂 too late now. Your past is your past. Men don't forget
Sounds like a lie that you keep telling yourself. Hey, I don't know you nor am I mocking you. It was just my take on what you said here..
Abstinence before marriage, STRICT fidelity during marriage. Never drink alcohol, use illicit or illegal drugs, or tobacco products. Oh, and since you're striving to be healthy, nitz the coffee, too
No alcohol or sleeping around period. Alcohol is for relaxation, 1 or 2 drinks only, sipped slowly. Sleeping around lowers your own self esteem and makes others think you’re a good time girl only and not to be taken seriously.
The pressure to get wasted on weekends is crazy. No matter how you look at it, it is bad for you. I stoped doing that, and it saved me ton of money, headaches, dangerous situations, time and crazy people. I now go out only when invited to house, friends or family gatherings, and those are so much better. I look at younger generations getting more and more wasted in DUI acidents, it became every weekend thing that somebody wreck their car, go to court for fights etc. With alcohol you can ruin yours or someones life in seconds.
Amen!!
My best friend was struck and killed by a drunk 21 year old.
1. Only date people you find physically attractive
2. Get to know them
3. Don’t be stupid and ignore red flags
You win your prize yet.
The way you wrote #3 sounds like two different things... 1) Don't be stupid 2) Do ignore red flags.
@@bscrushy lol whoops. Whelp people gona do what they want anyways
Bars
Dating doesn’t have to involve alcohol at all. Not even on the 5th date. I don’t get why it’s become normal to go out and have drinks. Go to a movie, hike, swim, or meet the other persons friends.
If two people are compatible the attraction should be effortless, almost like an accident, you will feel drawn to the person without knowing why.
True
I remember there was one guy that I only could talk to if I was drunk. That was my sign to change the way approached men.
That's a sign you are an addict. Don't blame alcohol.
30 min coffee dates are great because if you can’t stand the person you’re out of there in 30 minutes but if you like the person and find you can’t stop talking to them you can stay longer or just say hey we definitely should meet up some time again.
My first date with my wife was a bottle of wine and 8hr conversation we talked for so long we missed ordering food "sorry kitchen closed" 😂
The problem for me too is when I have alcohol it then tricks my brain into thinking I like them more than I do. So then I see them again and each time have to have a drink to like them. Sober dates has been game changing for me and what I’ll continue to do!
Another thing that helps: If you don't want to be tempted to get naked with someone, don't shave your legs. It's the only thing that stops me.
Whatever it takes for girls to resist being a 304, I’m all for it!
Seriously? The only way you can keep control of yourself is to have unshaven legs? Honey you need work on self discipline in many areas if you are telling the truth here...
Damn. I didn't even think this was a problem for girls. I've been obsessed with guys before and literally cannot fathom not being able to resist sleeping with them
That's funny and scarry at the same time! lol
Some advice my mom used to give me when I was in my early teens and boys started to get interesting:
"Only date someone you can see yourself marry in the future."
I ended up only having one serious relationship before I ended up in a relationship with the guy who has become my husband.
So basically, you married an ugg dude.
@@mts7274 I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand what you mean with ugg.. (English isn't my first language).
But if you meant ugly.. I most certainly do not think so.
If you meant anything else, feel free to clarify.
What a difference a good Mom makes, eh?
Hold on! How are women gonna get all those free dinners if they do that?!? They won’t have any pics for TikTok and they might need to cook as well!! 😂
I always had coffee dates at barnes &noble. Next date hiking, always daytime date👌
If you were so miserable on a date just call it, no need for excess alcohol
Facts any excuse for bad behavior she’s a fraud get her outta here
@@getmoneychill6462 She's not a fraud. Though I personally have never been drunk, or drank on dates, she did mention she made the change when she was 22, which is still very young and undeveloped (brain doesn't finish developing until 25)
Unfortunately, young men and women tend to be conflict avoidant, and so to avoid conflict young people have unhelpful coping mechanisms (just think of the silliest thing you've done to avoid getting in trouble).
The reality is men, especially
"New" approach
Swipe left in 0.5 seconds yo
Strictly coffee-only sober daters gotta stay even more alert now 😭😭😭😂💀💀
I dont understand why some girls are so against coffee dates. Your time is valuable to u, my money is valuable to me. If we go on a dinner date that will last at least an hour and we arent fit for each other, then both of us have lost.
Don’t drink on a date that’s like going to a car dealership drunk.
When I was young I drank way too much, on anyone’s scale, but over time I drank less and less, and now I hardly drink at all. I can honestly recommend that drinking only a little is the best way to happiness. Alcohol makes nothing better, except maybe watching the Corsican Brothers.
Same. Looking back its quite frightening just how much alcohol I consumed. My mid 20s are literally a blur to me and I got severely depressed during that time. Now if I drink it’s at most two beers with food
@@paulanderson24 I once partied with a New Zealand football team in Hong Kong. I can’t remember hardly any part of it, so it must have been a lot of fun. I remember a wild cab ride. “Did we just run over someone?” “Umm, maybe.” ⚽️
Alcohol is a depressant. Studies have also shown that long time, excessive alcohol consumption can make a person more angry & pessimistic.
This story is Realized : AFTER THE PUMP AND DUMP
Could you imagine dating Mikhaila and being invited to meet her parents..... Jordan begins deep diving into your mind, your faults and your character as soon as you shake hands.... I couldn't do it. He would know what a flawed person I am in less than a minute.
Really good idea. I’m gonna steal this.
Just stop drinking, that’s even better. Then you’ll attract a partner who doesn’t drink. Alcohol is tied to so many bad choices, driving under the influence, etc.
uhh there are people that enjoy drinks without making bad choices
Alcohol is not the problem. It's people [like yourself] who make terrible choices and blame alcohol for the consequences.
I cracked up at the beginning, when she said, she drank to cope with the pain of a bad date 😅. I love how forward she is! And, solid advice on doing coffee instead. I do the same. I don’t like drinking alcohol when dating. That’s an activity for someone you fully trust and feel comfortable around. Not a stranger that you’re just getting to know (aka- a date). You definitely need all your wits about you when screening out whether or not someone would be a suitable potential partner. It’s like doing an interview on a potential employee drunk. You wouldn’t dare. Yet- this is the most important position you’ll ever fill in your life. It’s far too easy to get emotionally attached to the wrong person. And that’s why screening someone before that emotional attachment occurs is key. They will be your future partner in life. Your ride or die. Your best friend. Your trust worthy and reliable human that you can lean on above all others. Sober mindedness is key.
To my brothers, this one is damaged goods.
If you go on a date with someone and you find out they don’t own books , don’t fuck them .
Here is an idea, don’t go on a date with a person you don’t like
If you are on a date with someone you don’t like, make your excuses and leave.
You don’t have to sleep with all of them because they asked you out on a date.
The first date is how you learn whether or not you don't like them you dunce
@@eattoast6378 Your lack of experience of understanding and the world is telling.
@@anthonycraig274 I don't even believe you believe that.
Here's an idea don't eat food you don't like. How would you know if you don't try it?
@@bettedavis45 Do you sleep with everyone you go out on a date with? That’s non of my business but if you do, that’s where you are going wrong.
Good advice, I would also add to not be afraid to ask tough questions on the 2nd or 3rd date. I had a few short-term relationships (time wasting) that could have been avoided if I had asked deeper questions on those 2nd dates.
Lastly, don't settle. You'll regret it really fast.
True!
As someone who's struggling with alcohol addiction how to say the best advice is to not start at all or quit while you're ahead. It is a powerful carcinogen that increases your risk of cancer exponentially in such a dramatic way it's scary. On top of all the bad decisions and addiction life-ruining consequences excetera..
Sleeping around is literally a deal breaker for me... On top of that, I'd never sleep with anyone I'm not committed to spending the rest of my life with.
Great advice. My first date with my now wife was a coffee and a nice walk. Drinks came maybe date 3 or 4. Prior dates were meeting in a bar and you are 100% - if you do not gel with someone’s personality being out for hours is hell. One date was so bad vowed to never do that again and if I wasn’t enjoying myself to just leave and not waste my of her time.
The next person I met was my wife and we couldn’t be happier
Lol u r cheap man taking out a woman for a coffe and walk 😂😂
I've done that my entire life and this has never worked well.
The fact that you chose to go to a bar for your dates says everything about your maturity. Alcohol is not the evil you think it is.
This is the most like her dad she’s ever sounded: profound, yet boldly obvious, introspective, and practical. Awesome.
Lol it's not that deep this is a plain story
@@Sandrica011BGthis is what people do
Make an idol,now worship
We didn’t have dating apps in the ‘80’s. We actually talked to each other in real time. Then we smashed each other in real time…I really miss those aforementioned times.
30 minute coffee dates wouldn't work for me because most of my close friendships have developed over time and started with both of us not liking each other all that much in the beginning, so I want to give people time and need it myself too. But not drinking is definitely a good tip, as is not compromising on the big things (values and goals)
Doing other stuff that doesn’t involve partying, like going to the park, sightseeing local monuments, beach if it’s local. Getting something simple like a pastry or a sandwich
My first actual real date was a coffee date. He took me to Starbucks and I straight up told him, “Your friends told you to take me to Starbucks, because I’m white, right?… Mmmmm, well I’ve never been to Starbucks, so order me whatever you get.” 😂😂😂 We are married now with two kids.
We should start doing hobby dates again, like arts & crafts at a community center or going to the gym together, taking a cooking class together, make the first few dates be communal to establish that strong connection- also communal spaces are safe and comfortable. Do something involving teamwork, a game of chess? Video games? You can literally weed out the cheaters, literally that way! Jk, but you get it. J feel like that’s how you get to know if you’d work well with someone or not tbh & yes as old school as it sounds, unless you’re absolutely sure you won’t regret it- keep the physical intimacy at a minimum for until you’re sure that you work well with a person- as a team, a couple, friends, etc.
This is why i dont do dates its like you're going to a job interview for an internship lmao
I never dated my husband. We had rules for 3 1/2 years until we got married that we were going to talk at my parents house once a week. He complied and so I knew he had the purest of intentions with me. We married and here we are 14 years later with more love and commitment than ever before. He has high admiration and respect for me for respecting myself before marriage. He is 38 and I am 35
How did he manage to get invited to see your parents? So far all women I've met try to avoid me from meeting their parents.
For over 3 y, you did nothing but talk?!
@@gteixeira i was not allowed to date unless my parents knew about it.
@@davidz3879 yep, and our romantic side grew more each day that we waited. We wrote letters and spend the days dreaming about each other. When we married it was the purest of joy and love. Its sad that today's society has never experience this type of love, and thus jumping from bed to bed never feeling that void in their lives. They feel empty and try to feel in that void with money, success and empty things.
@@grupocristianofundamental Did your parents invited him over to your house first so he could meet you?
Coffee dates have been around since there was Tea 😂
Best to avoid dating altogether
Because a guy takes you out doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him. When I’d go on dates I’d go for like 3 weeks or longer without doing anything. I don’t want a stranger inside me. The thought always freaked me out
3 weeks? Wow. I'm more of a 3 year kind of girl.
@@sarahrobertson634 hell yea!! I say three like three at the very least. My sister does stuff on the first dates and it’s never worked well for her.
@BossLady It's gotta be years, girl! You're going to hand over your sacred self to just whomever, that you've only known for several months?
@@sarahrobertson634 I always waited for a long time. My husband tho I only waited for 3 weeks and couldn’t make myself wait anymore. Only person I’ve ever been like that with and we been married goin on 11 years this year!! I get waiting but if you wait for months. Most men are gonna move on along.
@@chandaphillips1337 Let em go. If they won't wait, they're just evil users anyway. I know ladies that didn't wait but only for their husbands, because they really couldn't wait any longer. The connection was stronger than the resistance.
I just go somewhere nice for a walk and if they want the dog to come it's a good conversation starter
That is a good way to meet. I also went cycling with some.
Skank hunt 420 xD
I feel you on the alcohol! But I have soooo many vids on why coffee dates are too platonic and low effort. Vette over text so dating ain’t painful 🙏🏼⚡️
30 minute coffee dates are the GO
Been doing coffee dates ever since I started online dating. Rule was: first match, second text for day or two (longest a week if your both super busy) then coffee date.
If the woman would say “ohh your eager” I would say no just don’t want to waste my time texting like a teenager. plus if we meet in the city for 30mins - an hour worse case days not wasted; I can meet my mates after best case we chat longer and arrange a second date.
You be surprised that more said yes the others I blocked I got on with my life.
I feel as though alcohol is used as an excuse crutch for bad choices….
“I would have never slept with him but I had a little to much to drink…”
Working in the food industry I saw a lot of this behavior. Six month down the road when that woman has now slept with 3 or 4 different men just from that one restaurant you start to see what the real situation seems to be.
I do completely agree with the coffee date with a time restriction!! That’s a fabulous idea for young women. Hook up culture is ruining young women and they don’t even realize it… it’s not doing young men any justice either…
When I got older 22.... tell me you've been around the block without telling me you've been around the block
Coffee dates are the best thing ever. Sometimes I'll recommend a coffee shop that closes @7 or 8pm if the date is during the week. That way I'd plan the date 30min before they close and act like I didn't know. This makes the date short. 30min limit 🤷🏻♂️ If you like them we schedule another date
Genius!
For men as well. Offer the coffee date, if she doesn't think coffee date is enough then end it immediately.
What if- what if they just don’t like coffee 😂 that sounds boring as well, I’d rather do an activity together
@@Las645 I'm down for that, I just think men should protect themselves from people looking for free dinner. See if there are any sparks even before spending a lot is all.
@@Las645 You don't have to drink coffee, obviously. Drink tea or juice if you want. As for finding it "boring," well, that tells me two things: One: I can't just sit and talk with you. You find talking boring. That's bad. Two: I have to continuously find ways of entertaining you, which is also bad.