How to deal with an AVOIDANT partner - 7 communication tips
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- Опубліковано 14 бер 2024
- In this video, I discuss 7 strategies for dealing with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, including how to communicate with them to encourage them to open up and stop stonewalling you.
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Avoidant behavior is an enforcement strategy. Important topics are not discussed, otherwise the partner will break off contact. Even gentle treatment doesn't help if the partner sees no reason to change. Why? She asserts herself with silence.
Thanks. I've been in this situation and ended sick of it , tired ,and the other person running away from me. Dont try to "save" anyone. I was asking myself what was i doing wrong, until I found your videos. My advice: wait until someone ask for help. Don't try to hel someone wh don't ask first. You'll do better in life in general.
What GREAT wisdom, Francesca!!! So many people these days are hurting and lonely because of so much trauma in their backstory. Such wonderful tips on how to truly love any avoidant loved one in our lives! ❤ Thank you dear one. You are a gifted teacher!!! ❤
Been with an avoidant and trust me, if they don’t work on themselves - even a secured attached person who is with them, can turn anxious and these avoidants always will try to push themselves away from any situation. We can’t fix anyone, it’s only them who can fix themselves. And if they won’t they’ll eventually leave, not realising how much they hurt you.
Thanks for making a video on this topic. Your videos really help me a lot 😇
I guess the takeaway from this is to just become an avoidant yourself and get everyone to pander to you ! 😂👍🏼
This was really really helpful,my bf is an avoidant so this helped.
thanks it was helpful to me.
"Finding the balance between standing up for yourself and being respectful when addressing a complaint about someone can be tough. How to Remember to choose your words carefully and focus on the issue, not the person.
There’s only one step..
don’t be in a relationship w a DA or FA ..
they can’t love !
It is your responsibility to figure them out and save them, because if you have good boundaries then their insecurities will result in unacceptable behaviour. Take codependency. You cannot enable dependency, therefore must fix it or you yourself are abusive for enabling.
how you go about fixing needs to be subtle and the person has to be willing to see their errors, take responsibility and do something about it. So by figuring out and fixing you also filter out the narcissistic and entitled people who have no self awareness. Its a win-win I M O. If you have not figured them out, it becomes more difficult to be subtle and give them what they need to hear in a way that they will be receptive to.
If you do not do the figuring out, you IMO just aren't giving them a chance. As a man I will always put in the effort to do what is best and right for my partner - even if my partner does not see it in that way. But I do understand that how I go about this really really matters. I still will always go for it. I might fail and they might hate me for that - but that is there ignorance and I can live with that.
There is something very interesting in this comment. I understated that if i have example emotion life in better condition, and my partner don’t have it. And maybe don’t know how to have it. I have responsible to teach and tell this things. If i don’t tell and i just leave this person who is my partner. I’m doing then wrong. Did you mean something like that?
Francesca I need your help too like litterly i don't know what should i do?
will you hear me out too?
i need your advice
So how they can become more normal with emotions?
Love YOur videos
Would you be 50 50 with a murderer (assuming you're emotionally/mentally stable)? No. I make my own 50.💀
What you mean?
It's the responsibility for both the partners to give their best for each other.
But it has to be fair, otherwise it can become toxic.