Yep, unless a girl has genuine desire for you, why bother? And yes, understand and be able to gauge attraction levels. You want a girl who is a wee bit more into you than you are into her.
Yep, and that's so sad. Whatever happened to sincere people (like me) who don't put up walls and allow themselves to be vulnerable when they meet someone awesome with whom they click?
If you have to chase because chase means the drive for something, chase power and authority. Although I am a college kid but I do understand the biological and evolutionary categorical imperatives. First, you can't be someone who has all the women in option, there is no such thing. But you can have Socio economic status comprising a good income, better lifestyle, health and yeah a decent car. It will open more doors from the women. And if you have GAME and plus the Socio economic status and you are Verile then my lad you will get laid everyday. But you wouldn't want that would you? Because you seem like a good guy, but too good makes you a doormat.* Pet a Dog * Make eye contacts with strangers men women both * Learn to be ALONE and not Lonely. ( if you aren't blissful alone then you are in a wrong company ) *Have a routine, You may look average but with muscles it will enhance your Attraction * Have a decent Scent * Last but make sure you follow through, if you have a kind face and a nice guy, throw hints of Evil and devilish nature. I said hints not the whole pretended face. Balance like yin yang. ( Cheerios, just a geek making conversation )
Yea. Lotta dudes never think about that part. You chasing implies that but we are so focused on the chase that we don't stop and think "Wait. She's running. This is stupid." *goes home*
@@eshwarashawn4493 No not true, Yeah money can be a predictor or marker for Hardwork, utility and Intelligence. But will any woman be attracted to man who inherited a massive wealth from his parents and is on no use? Is dumb, not hardworking, not intellectual, not persistent, hence bearing inexperience of life but is 6 feet tall great looking and good shape. Believe me, apart from Niki minaj and Cardi B types, no woman will stand him of his money for a single day. Don't take women lightly They can sniff anything out of you.
1. One-itis, hyper-fixated on one girl. Know when to walk away. 2. No self respect. Know when to walk away. 3. You're wasting your time. 4. You're not chasing what REALY matters.
If a girl is not interested in you the moment she first meet you, no amount of care & concern, gifts, money etc will make her attracted to you no matter what.
Correct, old school dating coaches like Doc Love focus on attraction levels. Before she meets you a girl has 50% attraction in you. She neither likes or dislikes you, cos she doesn’t know you. When she meets you if she’s attracted she is now at >50% and that’s good, because with game you can boost that and get it to 80-90% (any more than that is unhealthy obsession and suggests she has issues and is in fact a red flag). But here’s the flip side. If she doesn’t like you from the jump or you do something to turn her off and her attraction dips to below 50%, YOU ARE OUT. There is NOTHING you can do long term to recover back to >50% and you should walk away and put your energy elsewhere. This is why you should never chase an Ex, or pursue a girl who has flaked on you, or a girl who is “confused” and doesn’t know what she wants. If her attraction is good she’ll make it easy for you, if not you are circling the drain!
@@jleano609 this maybe generally true, woman's sub conscious and conscious are emotionally tied... there have been girls attached to guys and then see them with other women and fall in love with them after pushing them away...
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 Indeed, but there I would argue that either..... 1. Attraction was initially only 50-60%, i.e. still fairly neutral (and maybe she had a better option at the time) but then the 3rd party validation of another girl being with him spiked her attraction level higher. 2. It dipped to
Unless you are lucky enough to have meet a woman like the women I've had significant relationships with, who loved the way I treated them "like a celebrity" and treated me equally well. Unfortunately, they all wanted different things in life (children) or had issues I couldn't deal with. But yeah, I recognize that women like them are the rare exceptions, sadly
Only if you're good looking. An average looking or ugly man shouldn't even bother with attractive women most of the time, because they will only get insulted or talked badly about behind their back.
@@Dude-oh8vq unless he's hitting on a female cosplayer. For some reason, I found the hot girls in that community had a thing for average or less than average looking guys, as long as they were also geeky/nerdy. My theory is that some women like to be the center of attention (in all walks of life, for that matter), so they "date down."
I think men so rarely find a connection with women that when it happens (for them) that it feels like magic. Couple this with the lack of attention women give men and the falsehood that women want to be pursued and this is what you end up with.
OMG!!! So true. No one ever was attracted to me and I never found a connection with anyone. I know my shortcomings and I’m below average in the looks department. However one day a woman showed an interest in me and it was literally magic for me.
pretty much true, its when someone might show interest as a lot of men dont get any kind of attention from women. not like with women who get a lot of attention from men,
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay". --Will Smith
I wasted a year and a half chasing a girl that was just playing, I regret it so much because I ignored many opportunities just because I was "in love". Don't chase kings we are worth of more.
@@DeividZomberGuy i feel You bro, iv been a year and a half chasing a girl whos only playin around... Today i decides to quit.... And yeah, i don't know what hurt the most: chasing her or stop chasing her😓
The same can be said for platonic relationships not just romantic ones. When you're always the one to initiate contact and it's rarely or never reciprocated, there comes a point when you have to ask yourself, "is this even a friendship worth having?" You try to make plans but they're always busy when you suggest something, but their social media is filled with them doing things with other people. It sucks, but it's another trap to watch out for.
If there is no response or reciprocation, you are wasting your time and life. Don't ever do it. Your life is too precious to waste on some body who is not bothered about you.
Why waste time on women that just want simps orbiting them as ‘platonic friends’ anyway. Men need to wake up to that shit. They don’t give a rats arse about their simps, it’s all about getting validation to feed their narcissistic egos
Yes, she does. But she didn’t expect to hear about the MGTOW disasters… she’s only 25. She doesn’t even realize how spiritually connected she is to her boyfriend of three years who is actually her common-law husband. She IS a do-gooder and really does care about doing the right thing.
@@alivensyde5484 Overly whiny and cynical. I feel sorry for you. You redpillers spend all this time bitching about women never understand you but the second that a women shows up and attempts to make an effort to sympathize with you, you defame her. Clowns.
Another great video. I stopped chasing a long, long, time ago because it shows that a man has no self respect, no value and no goals for his life. Don’t chase because it’s a waste.
actually part of the problem is most women are overweight now days so if she is even remotely cute she is going to have an insanely high ego. What is a 7 today was common as dirt 50 years ago. That goes for both genders. Both genders have a lot to answer for when it comes to taking care of themselves.
When I stopped chasing recently, it was definitely full of withdrawal symptoms. But little by little, the things that really matter in life seeped to the surface. Confidence up, salary up, body and aesthetics up, MENTAL HEALTH AND INNER PEACE up. I tried my best, and second-guessed everything. Was I perfect? Hell no. But look at it this way, how much did YOU put up with THEIR flaws and mistakes because you loved them? If they felt the same way, they’d do the same for you, so no need to second-guess. I stayed a gentleman, treated her right and tried to be VERY empathetic and communicative. That’s ALL you could do. DON’T stick around, my men. Focus on yourself. Don’t storm out the door. She’ll come back, but by then . . . Will it matter? 😏 They get ONE shot, if they waste it, they might get another set of rounds in the bedroom, but that’s where it STOPS.
I stopped chasing for a year. Lost 40 lbs, got in shape and finances improved. Who would of thought huh? Lol. Every guy should do that. Take breaks from women, and focus on YOURSELF! 👍🏼
@@restless821 buddy, that sounds like you’re coming from a place of pain. I’m sorry you’re going through that. But bitterness is one of the most weakening and unattractive habits to develop. Stop that.
Very well said! If she’s not reciprocating any of the energy or emotions you’re putting towards her, then you are wasting your time. One thing I will not tolerate personally is the games. If she’s interested, she needs to be honest about it, or she will lose my interest very quickly
for some this meand waiting their whole life. One needs to be strategic about your idea, then your idea works. For example founding a group where you invite 10 men and 10 women and you teach everyone bow and arrow skills. This will autimatically pull the most suiting female towards you. But without this, it could take VERY long.
The main reason you shouldn't chase women is because in today's times most women don't know what they want. With the access to social media and dating apps, women have so many options to choose from with men that they are all over the place, and you chasing after her will only lead to you becoming another ONE amongst MANY. In addition, many girs don't even know what they want out of life, so why deal with someone like that?
I have something better: Dont chase AT ALL. Use that time to improve yourself, expend your money on YOU, and do the thinks you like. YOU are the most important person on Earth.
this one girl I am talking to for like 1.5 months now. she speaks nicely every time we speak but it seems reactive all the time. Thing is she has not called or messaged me once even If I do not call for a week. This time its been 4 days. Earlier I gave in thinking may be she is shy, may be she wants to be pursued but now enough with the bull crap. Its her loss, I had the best feelings for her but I feel like a lesser person if I bend again. Best of luck to her if she doesn't call. Stay strong and proud y'all!
It's hard to hear but when someone really likes you (male or female) its effortless, they want to be with you and make sure they are available. You really don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you! Block her number and move on.
Definitely went through oneitis a while ago. Was the most cringist things I’ve ever done looking back. After that I told myself I’m not doing that again. Ever.
Same here. I put my ex on a pedestal and bent over backwards for her when she was going through hard times. Apparently, I did too much and she left. Tried really hard to win her back. Turns out, she pulled back because she was looking to monkey branch. I wish I would have kept my dignity and accepted the loss. No person is worth unreciprocated effort.
Yup...I'm a 64 year old guy that was fixated for a while on this late forties exotic beauty that works with me....she's never been married.....after getting to "know her" better...I realized she is/was just a Chad chasing egomaniac.... I just shifted back to my passions....I learned to close the door...feels great..
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. Cardi B. artist & role model for black Americans (Latinas & Whites aren't far behind): “My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.” Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier." Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous 🕊💚🙋🏻♂️
This comes from a place of scarcity. Unfortunately men have less options than women so many of them resort to this. But Courtney is right, focus on you and your goals. That will make you high quality and allow you more options
Chasing anyone is a waste of time. Display initial interest but everything after that needs to match up with HER RECIPROCITY. If she doesn’t match your energy then her answer is clear. Move on.
Omg I think about me as a 20 year old in college before I woke up after a chick I was with for 1.5 years “destroyed me” and thank god I had a friend who snapped me out of it quick. Never acted like that again.
Dude, I'm 29 and I fucked up in this was a few months ago, and this is after years getting to know this aspect of life better. It was so vary cringe. The worst part is I should have know better. Gah, I learned my lesson in a bad way. At least I won't forget it.
I stopped this by the time I was 20. I started chasing at the end of 4th grade I was stuck on this girl until the end of 6th grade! 😂🤦♂️ After that I got over her and went after other girls. I’d stay hooked on them for months until switching to another. But the last straw came at the end of high school. On my 20th birthday I found out she already had a bf. At that point I started becoming more aware and try to be more knowledgeable about who is worth my time and effort and who isn’t. Believe me, I’ve ran into many who weren’t
I love how you are a soft spoken , intelligent , easy to talk and listen to girl. Instead of these modern girls who shout at guys, demanding this that from him , curse him, talk down on him in front of his friends , other guys. They have anger, hate, spite when they talk to guys , try to shame him for her not getting what she wants. Which is why many guys, including myself, no longer approach girls , try to talk to them or get to know them. In fact of given up on the dating game , I thought I could meet a nice girl , for a wife, to have a family, kids , and leave some kind of legacy behind. Alas, I have given up on that goal, I'm disappointed , and sad as well. I DON'T want a girl with masculine traits , I want a girl with FEMININE traits , but where are they , I don't see them !!! You are a classy lady and your man must be a very lucky guy ,that's all I have to say ,bye, bye !!!
I don't chase anyone. If someone wants to be a part of my circle, great. Think it's to the point now that i've deleted every dating app and I just do whatever I want to do. If she happens to pop up along the way that's a bonus.
I literally did the "the ball is in her court now" after getting a no recently. Though I know it's foolish, I still have a glimmer of hope that dies hard because before I asked her out she showed most of the signs of attraction like turning full body when talking, seeking and keeping eye contact, getting close, touching. But a no is a no whatever the reason, maybe she's just flirtier than i realised and liked the attention i gave her. She knows how I feel now and i backed off.
I started doing this and a friend of mine told me to do this too. I did notice my confidence go up and I can now talk to women and men a lot more casually and easily. I also noticed I've gotten an increase of attention from women. It is pretty much a game of chicken to see who cracks first but for now, I'm just enjoying the prospects that have come with not chasing anymore.
I acknowledged a young woman who showed interest in me. Then she played hard to get. So I immediately dropped her. Then she showed interest in me. Repeat ad nauseum. Then I decided to let her have it. I chased her about four days. Not because I was interested in her, I was interested in telling her off! I finally got her on the phone and unloaded on her. Never done that to a woman before or since (it was 1979) but it was a necessary action. About that same era, time I asked a young lady (just friends) to a concert. She was acting weird about the invite. No problem I thought but it was last minute and I had two tickets. Asked my sister if she wanted to go. Back then she looked a lot like a young Elizabeth Taylor. When we walked in, the young lady I had asked was in the lobby. She had no idea who my sister was (home from school for the summer and we traveled in different circles) and her jaw literally HIT THE FLOOR! Get weird on me? Well go and figure that one out! It was wonderful.
Yes had a couple actually get mad “bc I gave up” or at least that’s what I was told lol If you aren’t interested when I initiate contact, I move on. Don’t need friends I have plenty, and don’t have time to play games. Btw if they drop some stuff like “I’m just looking for a friend” just know they want to keep you around bc they are lonely and probably banging at least one other guy who won’t commit.
When I was young I went through a bad case of oneitis. It was terrible. Fortunately, I got over it and moved on to a far-more mature and healthy outlook on relationships. Your advice about focusing on oneself to become the best version of yourself is excellent advice. Courtney - you are wise beyond your years - keep up the good work!
It’s easy to say to focus on your goals and purpose but hard to do when you are a teenager without any support or help or anything like that. But love the videos and appreciate you helping us guys out
For most of my life, every attractive woman I've met that was genuinely nice to me and showed she cared even a little bit I had oneitis for. Now I know no woman is worth pursuing that much. I have to become a better person that women will want to pursue me. And yes I know that's not a reason to better myself and even if I do better myself, I don't care whether a woman wants anything to do with me or not. Having oneitis for every attractive woman I've met has definitely messed me up a bit. Its no wonder why my mental health is such a mess and I hate myself.
My guy first what you need to do is "stop forgetting about yourself" and learn to love and respect yourself better!, you too are amazing too you just been giving attention and focusing on other unnecessary things that you forget about yourself. but.. the reality of it is you come first then women are extra just be yourself I know, because I do this the more you don't care the more things come to you the less attention you give them the more they'll want you. And just so you know women's weakness is being ignored it don't matter who ignores them it drops and destroys their ego rapidly try it it's fun to do and watch they can't handle being ignored.
Great advice...a wake-up call. She gives a lot of the same advice I hear from the "Red Pill" guys, but without the anger...and she has a pleasing voice and "female" perspective that doesn't totally "side" with either the men or the women.
Oh Lord do I know this feeling. I'll say this though. When you've had moments with a girl like me; "Is it okay if I rest my head on your shoulder", or she randomly walks beside you in the hallway saying "I want to see what it would be like to walk next to you" or showing her you know some ballroom dance and she agrees to dance with you and ect... It's kind of hard not to focus on her. And then you start getting mixed messages and realize she doesn't like you, she just likes that you feel that way about her.
Some women just enjoy the attention for an ego boost (same for men). When I was in college I had a male roommate I was good friends with, he was getting obsessed with this one girl and even buying her random gifts "just because". So I went to a venue with friends and where she was and watched her and then watched her with my friend. Then I laid it on the line for him: she is using you. She is doing NOTHING except laughing and flirting with you and giving you a short ego boost but everything is about her. She doesn't really care about you and there is NO romantic interest. She had plenty of male attention all the time. I think I told him to ask her to do a very simple easy thing FOR HIM. Of course she didn't do it and she also got annoyed wirh him for not being at her beck and call. He finally cut the cord and stopped constantly trying to please her (he always went to her apartment for example to see her, she never came to ours). Anyway, he was mad for a while and then met a great girl who really liked him and they had a great relationship. I hated that she was giving him the run around and getting his hopes up when it was clear she wasn't interested.
I think if you concentrate on yourself and your own goals and dreams, the right girl will pop up somewhere, I find if you chase, you chase for ever. Live your life boys, she’s out there somewhere....
Do this after you’re with them though. Remember after you get then, they love shit like this. Don’t do much boyfriend stuff before you’re at least going on some steady dates
I’m dealing with a situation with a woman giving me clear signs of disinterest even after our first date where I enjoyed myself and I thought she did. I used to let situations like this crush me and do anything to try to “win her over”, but I honestly just don’t care anymore. I have much more respect for myself now in my 30s than I did in my 20s. As soon as I get any sign of a woman pulling away or playing games, she is no longer an option for me. There are too many women out there to be so fixated on one and I need to find someone who does enjoy hearing from me and reciprocates my interest.
I have been in this situation before where I chased a woman. I absolutely pampered her and spent a ton of money on her. I treated her like a queen and gave every bit of my time and energy towards meeting her needs. She cheated on me with a guy who treated her like crap and told her he didn’t love her. Being the “nice guy” completely backfired. Women like assholes they have to chase. I hate that about female psychology and I wish women would wake up to what they’re doing. Oh and I’m done chasing too as it’s a waste of time. The whole thing is just so depressing when you truly want to find your companion in life.
If she wants to see you, she will make the effort to see you. If she doesn't want to see you, she will make the effort to avoid you. Everytime you are asking out a girl, always observe on where she is focusing her effort, so then you can decide to continue pursuing or to move on.
definitely been there. its when you became too attached to someone yet they dont show any kind of interest back. the hardest part is trying to break that attachment. could be attached to someone looks or personality and you end up being afraid of letting that go or some people think there might not be too many people out there for them so they get attached to someone they like. but todays world is so focused on fooling around and not so much based on having relationships that its much harder for people today who are loyalists and want committed relationships.
That's very true what Courtney says about finding things to do with yourself instead of sitting around crying and obsessing over your lost lover. Of course if someone the caliber of Courtney breaks up with you then you can expect to be blubbering, wearing sack cloth, and writing poetry for at least two months, but then it's time to pick yourself up and find things to do that will improve your future experiences.
I think chasing only worked possibly prior to the 1960s. You hear these stories about how initially she wasn’t interested but he kept pursuing and she eventually relented. I don’t think that’s worked in years
I agree with your perspective. Women (and men, for that matter) are too savvy and sophisticated (thanks to 24-hour news and social media) to be naive enough to be snared by such a chase. They simply know too much and have a game to match any game you may come up with.
For me it was around 28, I discovered I like making money and being on my own. I am now 42 and nothing has changed. No Interest in dating, sex or allowing anyone into my space.
Sometimes if they do pursue, they aren’t worth it. May even be crazy. Happened to me. I wasn’t interested in her, but took a chance anyways to see if maybe I might grow on her. Thought I did for while but friends and family noticed she was bad news. It took a time of her being jealous of me spending time with my friends and other drama that enough was enough.
This happens with every lady I approach, and it's very frustrating, demoralizing, and sad. Because we're missing a great opportunity. I don't know if it's just a wrong type that I keep going for, or if there's something about me that I'm missing but others see as a less than desirable quality. It's gotten to the point, where I don't even try anymore.
Even if you get a women she'll always be looking to trade up. Most women go after the top 5% of guys. The next 15% of guys get a little action. All the other guys get crumbs. It's just not worth it.
The same exact thing happens to me. I dress nice, smile, well kept and showered etc. Still, whenever I try to talk to women it's all superficial. None of them are even slightly curious about me. I'm a good catch for someone out there but haven't run into anything worthwhile yet. I'm 42, own my business, have good income and a lot of nice toys to play with such as motorcycles and boats. I've given up looking too. Tried Bumble, match, okcupid, tinder, none of them produced anything. This swipe right if you like my first picture game is a bunch of garbage. Even after you send them a message 99% of the time I still get ghosted. Not sure what I'm doing wrong here but something's gotta give.
I had “oneitis” for my HS sweetheart that I allowed myself to be disrespected w/ to much on & off til she got pregnant by another dude, that was the final straw but I think we all need to go through some sort of situation that it forces us to work on & become the best version of ourselves! Btw love how you’re content is not biased on one sex & just keep it real
Great stuff as always Courtney! Even tho im already in a healthy relationship watching these vids keeps me grounded and reminds of what I have learned from when I was young and stupid lol. Also, good advice for younger guys who are more prone to mistakes (we all make 'em, nothing to be ashamed of).
You should make a video regarding how to get your crush and chase the right way. Girls has chased me through time and if they had given me a more direct sign I would know for sure they was into me. Now I feel stupid because I did nothing, but also know when she is into me or not. If the signs is there go for it ! - When meeting the right one you can feel it in your body and feel their presence when they are around. You can feel they wan't you without any words between you.
Before UA-cam existed, before coaching existed, before the Big Bang, I was never chasing because it never made sense to me. I am transparent and you immediately know if I am interested in you. If you don’t show interest or if you say no, I simply go away. Just because it is what makes sense to me. Don’t do it as revenge, or to hurt, or to play. Do it because you feel you don’t want to bother people. “Oh, but maybe the person is playing and testing if I will really show interest “. Do you want to date a person like that?
It’s happen to men in my family. It’s ruined their life chasing and being heartbroken over a woman. It almost happened to me but thank God I battled through Courtney. Great share.
Hi Courtney, i have only just discovered you on the 11th July and may i just say, that you articulate your wisdom in an engaging and thoughtful manner. I look forward to hearing your UA-cam live next week with a great deal of anticipation.
I dated a girl for a month since Valentine's. We went eating in a nice restaurants, kissed and at the end because she had 2 failed relationships then there was a wall which didn't make her able to move on, then she said we can be friends, which is something I didn't mind. Long story short, we had some misunderstanding words with texts, and it bothered us, at the end she said I'm awkward and weird and didn't she's happy she won't talk with me again. I'm a hard-working person, I go to the gym and work out a lot and take care of my body, also I'm moving from nyc to NJ and having my own apartment! But I'm hurt but I'd never contact her anymore and I'm moving on.. just moving with pain and focusing on getting my shit done and ready! I'm just saying.. thank you and take care.
Wasting your time is the perfect way to put it. Putting in the effort for any woman or girl is a genuine waste if your time and resources. Even if she does like you , let's be honest , she will change her mind very very soon. Avoid the relationship and commitment at all costs
I'm in this situation right now. I just subscribed and thank you for this video. I have so many good things in my life to pour myself into. And that's exactly what I will be doing from this moment on!
Great advice. I’m an older male 🙄 so I should have known all of this. Good thing I already followed this unknowingly that it’s not a good idea to chase anyone regardless if you are a guy or a gal doing the chasing.
Really pleased to see the counsel you're providing converging with solid advice coming from the men's community. "Chase personal excellence, not another person!"
I can relate, I have been chasing a girl for two years and every day I run after her, things get worse. Now that I have given up on her, I felt more confident and happy. And I have just realized that it’s irritating her 😁
Thank you so much for these amazing tips and valuable advice, Courtney. I stopped chasing a person who literally made me feel worthless. She was poisoning my heart instead of filling it with love. Thank God I noticed it on time. I’ll focus on my goals.🙏
I didn't chase. I haven t been chased. My Wife and I met as a casual acquaintance at my Sisters birthday party. Good conversation. Ran into her a few weeks later eating lunch. Struck up another friendly conversation. I would say it turned out well.
I agree with not putting all of your eggs into one basket too soon, but how short is "too soon?" This is the problem with some people who are too scared to ever put all of their eggs into one basket until it's too late and the other person is either no longer interested or has met someone else. This happened to me a few years ago, where I was casually dating someone whom I liked a lot and would have gotten exclusive with after a handful of good dates. But she was not at that point, yet, so I kept myself on the market. Well, 2 months later, when SHE finally wanted to take things to a different level, I had met someone else I liked a lot more. So if you snooze, you might lose. I've found that when I have gotten into a good relationship, we know after about 3 to 5 dates that we want to get exclusive and not tempt ourselves with others. Things didn't work out with the second girl, of course, because she was also emotionally unavailable and a workaholic who made even less time and effort for me than the previous girl did, lol.
Great advice! Once I stopped pursuing, I was able to feel confident in myself, and found the woman who became my wife a few months later. New subscriber here who came to your channel by way of Teddy's channel. I enjoyed watching his elaborate scheme to gift you with that Rado Captain Cook.
The ironic part about this is that women of the 1950-60s actually used to chase men. My grandpa told me all kinds of stories of how women from childhood would literally knock on a man’s door and ask to be married. This advice used to be obvious to men who were genuinely busy with trying to earn a good income. Now that women make their own money and spend their twenties in college, men are stuck in a society where otherwise prospective wives are just too busy to enter into relationships/marriages and raise children.
@Mike Simms It's the 80/20 rule my dude. 80% of the women chase the top 20% of men, it's 90/10 in some cases. If you're not one of the top 10-20% of men, most (not all but most) women won't even give you a passing glance. Just don't even chase women to begin with, chase excellence and be the best version of yourself that you can be and the women will follow if you know what you're doing.
@Mike Simms Also don't forget the rise of the internet, social media, and smart phones that have dating apps that make finding a Chad literally a swipe away. An attractive woman nowadays has a number of guys in her phone that she's dealing with guaranteed.
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. Cardi B. artist & role model for black Americans (Latinas & Whites aren't far behind): “My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.” Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier." Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous 🕊💚🙋🏻♂️
This really helped open ma eyes Seein alotta vids like this but there's something about hearing this from a woman that really un-bewitches you,thank you for the advice 🙏🤍 And shout out from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦
If a women isn’t totally committed to a relationship with you move on and she will respect you more, you never know she may make contact with you later in life, then the decision will be yours!
I stopped chasing overall. Not just in romantic relationships but also friendly ones. I used to put in all the work and ‘water dead plants’ so to speak. People make time for things that are important to them and if you’re not on that list they won’t put in extra effort when it counts the most.
Love your honesty in your message Courtney. I'm a middle age man that has struggled with this situation the past several months. I'm learning to trust advice from sources like you and have patience and determination in the process of letting go. Confidence will grow from that. Thank you for always giving us the insider on this chaotic world of dating.
Men should level up, focus on their purpose, expand your knowledge to have a strong mind, and work out and stay in the gym and get fit focus on that not the women they will come anyway.
Men do the selecting and women do the choosing if anything will happen. Still up to men to make the first moves (selecting) and it's the women who will decide if they want anything to happen (reject or accept).
Courtney, good morning. I am aware of what you are presenting. I am "not chasing" after any lady. I am doing my own self development. A lot of people are complementing me indirectly. Why? I am listening to them, but not acknowledging them. I am not being disrespectful. I am being mutually respectful. I won't chase after a woman who does not have my mindset or wants my to be unhappy. She is history. She is the one chasing after me to tear me down and watching me. My career is still alive. She, her relatives or cronies won't black list me. Thanks for the update. Nice catch! You see the light!
Thanks for more great content Courtney. These videos help us through life. Watching this and others tells me I am not making the mistakes that you mention and is a breath of fresh air. Many men need to hear these things, and especially from a young, positive woman like yourself. 🙂
The one who cares the least runs the relationship. get with the girl that adores you the most. Not the one you breakin your neck for.
look who's here!!
Yep, unless a girl has genuine desire for you, why bother? And yes, understand and be able to gauge attraction levels. You want a girl who is a wee bit more into you than you are into her.
That attitude will land you with an unattractive girl.
@@jleano609 I never find that with attractive girls.
L Lance it did happen to me when I was younger I had hotties wanting me. It’s changed as I’ve got older not so frequent.
Dating nowadays is literally a game of “who can pretend to care the least?”
You are correct about one thing, it is a game!
exactly
Sad but true. Unless rare cases where the other person is mature enough to not need to play games because they are self confident.
Yep, and that's so sad. Whatever happened to sincere people (like me) who don't put up walls and allow themselves to be vulnerable when they meet someone awesome with whom they click?
@@tkleo2006 amen!!
"One woman I was dating said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over, nobody was home." - Rodney Dangerfield.
🤣🤣🤣
Love Rodney
Who was Nobody?
Bruh
wow
My brothers you don’t become the king by chasing after the queen, The queen comes naturally as a by product of you being the king.
Never tell a girl you like her
Well said...
And what makes you a king?
@@rascal211 focusing on yourself and your purpose, do that and the ladies follow
So true
It took me a long time to realize that me chasing her means she's running from me.
Spot on!!!
If you have to chase because chase means the drive for something, chase power and authority. Although I am a college kid but I do understand the biological and evolutionary categorical imperatives. First, you can't be someone who has all the women in option, there is no such thing. But you can have Socio economic status comprising a good income, better lifestyle, health and yeah a decent car. It will open more doors from the women. And if you have GAME and plus the Socio economic status and you are Verile then my lad you will get laid everyday. But you wouldn't want that would you? Because you seem like a good guy, but too good makes you a doormat.* Pet a Dog * Make eye contacts with strangers men women both * Learn to be ALONE and not Lonely. ( if you aren't blissful alone then you are in a wrong company ) *Have a routine, You may look average but with muscles it will enhance your Attraction * Have a decent Scent * Last but make sure you follow through, if you have a kind face and a nice guy, throw hints of Evil and devilish nature. I said hints not the whole pretended face. Balance like yin yang. ( Cheerios, just a geek making conversation )
Yea. Lotta dudes never think about that part. You chasing implies that but we are so focused on the chase that we don't stop and think "Wait. She's running. This is stupid."
*goes home*
Just show what you have.....money , she will chase you.
@@eshwarashawn4493 No not true, Yeah money can be a predictor or marker for Hardwork, utility and Intelligence. But will any woman be attracted to man who inherited a massive wealth from his parents and is on no use? Is dumb, not hardworking, not intellectual, not persistent, hence bearing inexperience of life but is 6 feet tall great looking and good shape. Believe me, apart from Niki minaj and Cardi B types, no woman will stand him of his money for a single day. Don't take women lightly They can sniff anything out of you.
1. One-itis, hyper-fixated on one girl. Know when to walk away.
2. No self respect. Know when to walk away.
3. You're wasting your time.
4. You're not chasing what REALY matters.
If a girl is not interested in you the moment she first meet you, no amount of care & concern, gifts, money etc will make her attracted to you no matter what.
Correct, old school dating coaches like Doc Love focus on attraction levels. Before she meets you a girl has 50% attraction in you. She neither likes or dislikes you, cos she doesn’t know you. When she meets you if she’s attracted she is now at >50% and that’s good, because with game you can boost that and get it to 80-90% (any more than that is unhealthy obsession and suggests she has issues and is in fact a red flag).
But here’s the flip side. If she doesn’t like you from the jump or you do something to turn her off and her attraction dips to below 50%, YOU ARE OUT. There is NOTHING you can do long term to recover back to >50% and you should walk away and put your energy elsewhere.
This is why you should never chase an Ex, or pursue a girl who has flaked on you, or a girl who is “confused” and doesn’t know what she wants. If her attraction is good she’ll make it easy for you, if not you are circling the drain!
@@jleano609 this maybe generally true, woman's sub conscious and conscious are emotionally tied...
there have been girls attached to guys and then see them with other women and fall in love with them after pushing them away...
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 Indeed, but there I would argue that either.....
1. Attraction was initially only 50-60%, i.e. still fairly neutral (and maybe she had a better option at the time) but then the 3rd party validation of another girl being with him spiked her attraction level higher.
2. It dipped to
BOOM!
Except teasing her.
Guys : If you treat her like a celebrity she will treat you like a fan. You will win a lot more with dating women if you don't care about the outcome.
Which completely ruins the whole thing because you basically have to just not actually love her in order to not be stepped on.
Unless you are lucky enough to have meet a woman like the women I've had significant relationships with, who loved the way I treated them "like a celebrity" and treated me equally well. Unfortunately, they all wanted different things in life (children) or had issues I couldn't deal with. But yeah, I recognize that women like them are the rare exceptions, sadly
@@rickterrance4981 exactly, and that's not a healthy relationship, at all
Only if you're good looking. An average looking or ugly man shouldn't even bother with attractive women most of the time, because they will only get insulted or talked badly about behind their back.
@@Dude-oh8vq unless he's hitting on a female cosplayer. For some reason, I found the hot girls in that community had a thing for average or less than average looking guys, as long as they were also geeky/nerdy. My theory is that some women like to be the center of attention (in all walks of life, for that matter), so they "date down."
I think men so rarely find a connection with women that when it happens (for them) that it feels like magic. Couple this with the lack of attention women give men and the falsehood that women want to be pursued and this is what you end up with.
Broken society....promiscuous alpha widows, chads, and bulk of sexless men. Look into the mouse experiment.
OMG!!! So true. No one ever was attracted to me and I never found a connection with anyone. I know my shortcomings and I’m below average in the looks department. However one day a woman showed an interest in me and it was literally magic for me.
pretty much true, its when someone might show interest as a lot of men dont get any kind of attention from women. not like with women who get a lot of attention from men,
Facts. Definitely agree
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay".
--Will Smith
Somewhat ironic……..
@@Jsinebdjsmdbej Will Smith ain't no simp.
What if you in the girl live by this quote? I guess both of you won’t chase each other lol
Says the man who simped over an unfaithful wife.
WORD
Love is like a fart- if you have to force it.. it's probably shit lol
YOOOO LMFAOOOOO!!! WHY IS THAT SOO TRUE!
HAHAHAHA
What..lmfao
If you got a laugh out of Courtney, you're on the right track.
So true LOL.
I wasted a year and a half chasing a girl that was just playing, I regret it so much because I ignored many opportunities just because I was "in love". Don't chase kings we are worth of more.
Damn I know you feel a certain way about her
That's limerence guys. It ain't easy to "stop chasing." I feel you.
Lol why would you do that? 😂
@@josephmontezuma5089 and this is why men don't share their feelings ._.
@@DeividZomberGuy i feel You bro, iv been a year and a half chasing a girl whos only playin around... Today i decides to quit.... And yeah, i don't know what hurt the most: chasing her or stop chasing her😓
The same can be said for platonic relationships not just romantic ones. When you're always the one to initiate contact and it's rarely or never reciprocated, there comes a point when you have to ask yourself, "is this even a friendship worth having?" You try to make plans but they're always busy when you suggest something, but their social media is filled with them doing things with other people. It sucks, but it's another trap to watch out for.
If there is no response or reciprocation, you are wasting your time and life. Don't ever do it. Your life is too precious to waste on some body who is not bothered about you.
Why waste time on women that just want simps orbiting them as ‘platonic friends’ anyway. Men need to wake up to that shit. They don’t give a rats arse about their simps, it’s all about getting validation to feed their narcissistic egos
I love the fact that she has genuine concern for men who are really struggling...
she doesnt, shes just trying to profit off u losers
Yes, she does. But she didn’t expect to hear about the MGTOW disasters… she’s only 25. She doesn’t even realize how spiritually connected she is to her boyfriend of three years who is actually her common-law husband. She IS a do-gooder and really does care about doing the right thing.
She is hustling my G. 🤷🏻♂️
@@alivensyde5484 Overly whiny and cynical. I feel sorry for you. You redpillers spend all this time bitching about women never understand you but the second that a women shows up and attempts to make an effort to sympathize with you, you defame her.
Clowns.
Hahaha dont fool yourself. She dont care about you at all or any of us. She is just making profit and playing games with other man in her life.
Another great video. I stopped chasing a long, long, time ago because it shows that a man has no self respect, no value and no goals for his life. Don’t chase because it’s a waste.
It’s simple, you ask her out, if she says no then you walk away. None of this obsessing stuff guys. There are so many attractive women out there.
If she likes my friendlies I'll ask her out if she can't I won't speak to her again
No is the easy part. The problem is when they say yes. They don't really want you, but they'll let you spend money on them.
actually part of the problem is most women are overweight now days so if she is even remotely cute she is going to have an insanely high ego. What is a 7 today was common as dirt 50 years ago. That goes for both genders. Both genders have a lot to answer for when it comes to taking care of themselves.
"Thier are so many attractive women out there".
Lol. Not even close the majority are overweight so your statement would be false.
I’m in the U.K. not obese America. I see attractive women every day.
When I stopped chasing recently, it was definitely full of withdrawal symptoms. But little by little, the things that really matter in life seeped to the surface. Confidence up, salary up, body and aesthetics up, MENTAL HEALTH AND INNER PEACE up. I tried my best, and second-guessed everything. Was I perfect? Hell no. But look at it this way, how much did YOU put up with THEIR flaws and mistakes because you loved them? If they felt the same way, they’d do the same for you, so no need to second-guess. I stayed a gentleman, treated her right and tried to be VERY empathetic and communicative. That’s ALL you could do. DON’T stick around, my men. Focus on yourself. Don’t storm out the door. She’ll come back, but by then . . . Will it matter? 😏 They get ONE shot, if they waste it, they might get another set of rounds in the bedroom, but that’s where it STOPS.
Hey you dropped this my guy 👑
I want her to come back not because I love her but so that I can take my revenge.
I stopped chasing for a year. Lost 40 lbs, got in shape and finances improved. Who would of thought huh? Lol. Every guy should do that. Take breaks from women, and focus on YOURSELF! 👍🏼
@@restless821 buddy, that sounds like you’re coming from a place of pain. I’m sorry you’re going through that. But bitterness is one of the most weakening and unattractive habits to develop. Stop that.
WORDS there Saul!
I am in the same process now so :)
Very well said! If she’s not reciprocating any of the energy or emotions you’re putting towards her, then you are wasting your time. One thing I will not tolerate personally is the games. If she’s interested, she needs to be honest about it, or she will lose my interest very quickly
"I don't CHASE, I ATTRACT. What belongs to me will simply find me."
That’s right! 👍👏
for some this meand waiting their whole life. One needs to be strategic about your idea, then your idea works. For example founding a group where you invite 10 men and 10 women and you teach everyone bow and arrow skills. This will autimatically pull the most suiting female towards you. But without this, it could take VERY long.
What do you guys think is more common? Like attracts, or opposites attract?
@@marrtin.macias Likes attract for LTR, opposites attract for sex.
@@marrtin.macias for ONS it’s opposites. For marriage it’s like attracts like.
The main reason you shouldn't chase women is because in today's times most women don't know what they want. With the access to social media and dating apps, women have so many options to choose from with men that they are all over the place, and you chasing after her will only lead to you becoming another ONE amongst MANY. In addition, many girs don't even know what they want out of life, so why deal with someone like that?
Yeah dating is obsolete
I'm not over religious but can I get an amen for that!
Walked away from women around my late 30's, really did NOT like dating. I wasn't bad at it, it just seems like a hassle.
I have something better:
Dont chase AT ALL.
Use that time to improve yourself, expend your money on YOU, and do the thinks you like.
YOU are the most important person on Earth.
What if I don’t wanna improve myself anymore and actually wanna start dating? 😔
@@Spicy3ango that's true. At some point, you want a relationship, sex as it is a basic human need.
True dude! Nothing more important than your self! Carve it on your mind.
Diego, you're right 1000% 👌
Yeah but…..🙄
I only chase after my purpose. Nobody else matters to me except for myself, and the only person I respect is myself.
Your video encourages me to keep cultivating my self-respect and walk away from those who make me feel like I’m not enough. Thank you.
this one girl I am talking to for like 1.5 months now. she speaks nicely every time we speak but it seems reactive all the time. Thing is she has not called or messaged me once even If I do not call for a week. This time its been 4 days. Earlier I gave in thinking may be she is shy, may be she wants to be pursued but now enough with the bull crap. Its her loss, I had the best feelings for her but I feel like a lesser person if I bend again. Best of luck to her if she doesn't call. Stay strong and proud y'all!
It's hard to hear but when someone really likes you (male or female) its effortless, they want to be with you and make sure they are available.
You really don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you! Block her number and move on.
Definitely went through oneitis a while ago. Was the most cringist things I’ve ever done looking back. After that I told myself I’m not doing that again. Ever.
Same here. I put my ex on a pedestal and bent over backwards for her when she was going through hard times. Apparently, I did too much and she left. Tried really hard to win her back. Turns out, she pulled back because she was looking to monkey branch. I wish I would have kept my dignity and accepted the loss. No person is worth unreciprocated effort.
Hey man, it happens to most of us. It sucks but its a good lesson. Good luck moving forward!
Yup...I'm a 64 year old guy that was fixated for a while on this late forties exotic beauty that works with me....she's never been married.....after getting to "know her" better...I realized she is/was just a Chad chasing egomaniac....
I just shifted back to my passions....I learned to close the door...feels great..
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
Cardi B. artist & role model for black Americans (Latinas & Whites aren't far behind):
“My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.”
Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook:
"My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."
Isaiah 3:12
*Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road.
Proverbs 31:3
Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
*Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin
*The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
*The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
*The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
*The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
*Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
*Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
*Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
🕊💚🙋🏻♂️
@@SSGTA440what's that
This comes from a place of scarcity. Unfortunately men have less options than women so many of them resort to this. But Courtney is right, focus on you and your goals. That will make you high quality and allow you more options
Believe me friend. As a man ages the odds turn in his favor. If you take care of yourself and your finances women will flood to you.
Chasing anyone is a waste of time. Display initial interest but everything after that needs to match up with HER RECIPROCITY. If she doesn’t match your energy then her answer is clear. Move on.
True true true!
This video has great points especially for younger guys. Did a lot of this my freshman year of college and it’s super cringy to look back on it today😂
LOL we have all been cringy at some point I imagine 😂😂
Omg I think about me as a 20 year old in college before I woke up after a chick I was with for 1.5 years “destroyed me” and thank god I had a friend who snapped me out of it quick. Never acted like that again.
Dude, I'm 29 and I fucked up in this was a few months ago, and this is after years getting to know this aspect of life better. It was so vary cringe. The worst part is I should have know better.
Gah, I learned my lesson in a bad way. At least I won't forget it.
I stopped this by the time I was 20. I started chasing at the end of 4th grade I was stuck on this girl until the end of 6th grade! 😂🤦♂️ After that I got over her and went after other girls. I’d stay hooked on them for months until switching to another. But the last straw came at the end of high school. On my 20th birthday I found out she already had a bf. At that point I started becoming more aware and try to be more knowledgeable about who is worth my time and effort and who isn’t. Believe me, I’ve ran into many who weren’t
I love how you are a soft spoken , intelligent , easy to talk and listen to girl.
Instead of these modern girls who shout at guys, demanding this that from him , curse him, talk down on him in front of his friends , other guys.
They have anger, hate, spite when they talk to guys , try to shame him for her not getting what she wants.
Which is why many guys, including myself, no longer approach girls , try to talk to them or get to know them.
In fact of given up on the dating game , I thought I could meet a nice girl , for a wife, to have a family, kids , and leave some kind of legacy behind.
Alas, I have given up on that goal, I'm disappointed , and sad as well.
I DON'T want a girl with masculine traits , I want a girl with FEMININE traits , but where are they , I don't see them !!!
You are a classy lady and your man must be a very lucky guy ,that's all I have to say ,bye, bye !!!
Nothing like having your morning coffee and listening to Courtney call you a simp.. #morningvibes
😂 rise and shine
In my country, Courtney's video are at 17pm
😅😅😅
Nothing like a hottie telling you to get your crap together.
@@blindluck3643 she won’t reply bro
@Mesut Özil she might. Might not. Either way, that's not why he commented.
I don't know why this video appeared just when I got rejected by my crush. But I'm grateful for this piece of wisdom.
I don't chase anyone. If someone wants to be a part of my circle, great. Think it's to the point now that i've deleted every dating app and I just do whatever I want to do. If she happens to pop up along the way that's a bonus.
I agree with you. Same for me. I’m single and do my own thing. No one to stress about either. If it’s meant to happen, it will.
I literally did the "the ball is in her court now" after getting a no recently. Though I know it's foolish, I still have a glimmer of hope that dies hard because before I asked her out she showed most of the signs of attraction like turning full body when talking, seeking and keeping eye contact, getting close, touching. But a no is a no whatever the reason, maybe she's just flirtier than i realised and liked the attention i gave her. She knows how I feel now and i backed off.
Yea I gotta do that. Same shit. It hurts to know that but it's damaging to myself Esteem to chase
I started doing this and a friend of mine told me to do this too. I did notice my confidence go up and I can now talk to women and men a lot more casually and easily. I also noticed I've gotten an increase of attention from women. It is pretty much a game of chicken to see who cracks first but for now, I'm just enjoying the prospects that have come with not chasing anymore.
This golden advice is such a time saver. Chasing people who don't like you is mark of low self-esteem. I wasted months now that I think about this.
If a woman likes playing "hard to get", why bother with a woman who plays games? Walk on...
I acknowledged a young woman who showed interest in me. Then she played hard to get. So I immediately dropped her. Then she showed interest in me. Repeat ad nauseum. Then I decided to let her have it. I chased her about four days. Not because I was interested in her, I was interested in telling her off! I finally got her on the phone and unloaded on her. Never done that to a woman before or since (it was 1979) but it was a necessary action.
About that same era, time I asked a young lady (just friends) to a concert. She was acting weird about the invite. No problem I thought but it was last minute and I had two tickets. Asked my sister if she wanted to go. Back then she looked a lot like a young Elizabeth Taylor. When we walked in, the young lady I had asked was in the lobby. She had no idea who my sister was (home from school for the summer and we traveled in different circles) and her jaw literally HIT THE FLOOR! Get weird on me? Well go and figure that one out! It was wonderful.
They all play games. OK, maybe somewhere there is one that doesn't.
Yes had a couple actually get mad “bc I gave up” or at least that’s what I was told lol If you aren’t interested when I initiate contact, I move on. Don’t need friends I have plenty, and don’t have time to play games. Btw if they drop some stuff like “I’m just looking for a friend” just know they want to keep you around bc they are lonely and probably banging at least one other guy who won’t commit.
When I was young I went through a bad case of oneitis. It was terrible. Fortunately, I got over it and moved on to a far-more mature and healthy outlook on relationships. Your advice about focusing on oneself to become the best version of yourself is excellent advice.
Courtney - you are wise beyond your years - keep up the good work!
It’s easy to say to focus on your goals and purpose but hard to do when you are a teenager without any support or help or anything like that. But love the videos and appreciate you helping us guys out
For most of my life, every attractive woman I've met that was genuinely nice to me and showed she cared even a little bit I had oneitis for. Now I know no woman is worth pursuing that much. I have to become a better person that women will want to pursue me. And yes I know that's not a reason to better myself and even if I do better myself, I don't care whether a woman wants anything to do with me or not. Having oneitis for every attractive woman I've met has definitely messed me up a bit. Its no wonder why my mental health is such a mess and I hate myself.
dont hate ur self, theres a lotta girls out there man why give up ?
@@marekhiandbye5363 most are narcissistic, egotistical 304s so why should bother if I'm going to get screwed over. I'll just worry about myself
My guy first what you need to do is "stop forgetting about yourself" and learn to love and respect yourself better!, you too are amazing too you just been giving attention and focusing on other unnecessary things that you forget about yourself. but.. the reality of it is you come first then women are extra just be yourself I know, because I do this the more you don't care the more things come to you the less attention you give them the more they'll want you. And just so you know women's weakness is being ignored it don't matter who ignores them it drops and destroys their ego rapidly try it it's fun to do and watch they can't handle being ignored.
Having oneitis > you put her on a pedestal > you treat her like a star > she treats you like a fan > You become a doormat.
Spot on
Great advice...a wake-up call. She gives a lot of the same advice I hear from the "Red Pill" guys, but without the anger...and she has a pleasing voice and "female" perspective that doesn't totally "side" with either the men or the women.
Oh Lord do I know this feeling. I'll say this though. When you've had moments with a girl like me; "Is it okay if I rest my head on your shoulder", or she randomly walks beside you in the hallway saying "I want to see what it would be like to walk next to you" or showing her you know some ballroom dance and she agrees to dance with you and ect... It's kind of hard not to focus on her.
And then you start getting mixed messages and realize she doesn't like you, she just likes that you feel that way about her.
Some women just enjoy the attention for an ego boost (same for men). When I was in college I had a male roommate I was good friends with, he was getting obsessed with this one girl and even buying her random gifts "just because". So I went to a venue with friends and where she was and watched her and then watched her with my friend. Then I laid it on the line for him: she is using you. She is doing NOTHING except laughing and flirting with you and giving you a short ego boost but everything is about her. She doesn't really care about you and there is NO romantic interest. She had plenty of male attention all the time. I think I told him to ask her to do a very simple easy thing FOR HIM. Of course she didn't do it and she also got annoyed wirh him for not being at her beck and call. He finally cut the cord and stopped constantly trying to please her (he always went to her apartment for example to see her, she never came to ours). Anyway, he was mad for a while and then met a great girl who really liked him and they had a great relationship. I hated that she was giving him the run around and getting his hopes up when it was clear she wasn't interested.
@@beautifulspirit7420 😢 How can people be so cruel?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 same happend to me, don't know why people do this, its better to walk away, and improve youre self
I think if you concentrate on yourself and your own goals and dreams, the right girl will pop up somewhere, I find if you chase, you chase for ever. Live your life boys, she’s out there somewhere....
So much wisdom in one person. Thanks Courtney 🙏 you’re saving a lot of people time
Can we just say Courtney's content is sooo relevant to EVERYONE!
This was needed! I had written 4 large paragraphs to send them to my crush.. Thank god I watched this before sending them
You wrote a thesis paper for a girl? She ain't worth it dawg😆😆
@@tfkvng3187 Now I know
Do this after you’re with them though. Remember after you get then, they love shit like this. Don’t do much boyfriend stuff before you’re at least going on some steady dates
I’m dealing with a situation with a woman giving me clear signs of disinterest even after our first date where I enjoyed myself and I thought she did. I used to let situations like this crush me and do anything to try to “win her over”, but I honestly just don’t care anymore. I have much more respect for myself now in my 30s than I did in my 20s. As soon as I get any sign of a woman pulling away or playing games, she is no longer an option for me. There are too many women out there to be so fixated on one and I need to find someone who does enjoy hearing from me and reciprocates my interest.
Agree
I have been in this situation before where I chased a woman. I absolutely pampered her and spent a ton of money on her. I treated her like a queen and gave every bit of my time and energy towards meeting her needs. She cheated on me with a guy who treated her like crap and told her he didn’t love her. Being the “nice guy” completely backfired. Women like assholes they have to chase. I hate that about female psychology and I wish women would wake up to what they’re doing. Oh and I’m done chasing too as it’s a waste of time. The whole thing is just so depressing when you truly want to find your companion in life.
You're right but why do they always ignore the good ones
I had oneidice. You are so right. Sometimes rejection is a good thing. Better off to cut your losses, and move on.
If she wants to see you, she will make the effort to see you. If she doesn't want to see you, she will make the effort to avoid you. Everytime you are asking out a girl, always observe on where she is focusing her effort, so then you can decide to continue pursuing or to move on.
definitely been there. its when you became too attached to someone yet they dont show any kind of interest back. the hardest part is trying to break that attachment. could be attached to someone looks or personality and you end up being afraid of letting that go or some people think there might not be too many people out there for them so they get attached to someone they like. but todays world is so focused on fooling around and not so much based on having relationships that its much harder for people today who are loyalists and want committed relationships.
I chase books. I chase knowledge. I chase dreams. I dont chase women anymore.
That's very true what Courtney says about finding things to do with yourself instead of sitting around crying and obsessing over your lost lover. Of course if someone the caliber of Courtney breaks up with you then you can expect to be blubbering, wearing sack cloth, and writing poetry for at least two months, but then it's time to pick yourself up and find things to do that will improve your future experiences.
Go spend a day in family court watching divorce proceedings. You'll quickly learn why women should be the absolute last priority in your life.
Correct
Exactly
Been there done that!!!
A woman you just met/ are dating for a short time, absolutely. If your WIFE isn’t your priority, that’s why you’re in family court lol
Your videos are part of my process in reinventing myself/finding myself again. Thanks Courtney, you're a badass.
Thats true... Im solely focused on chasing my vision👍
God bless Courtney Ryan shes a really sweet , humble down to earth girl. Great work!!💖
I think chasing only worked possibly prior to the 1960s. You hear these stories about how initially she wasn’t interested but he kept pursuing and she eventually relented. I don’t think that’s worked in years
I agree with your perspective. Women (and men, for that matter) are too savvy and sophisticated (thanks to 24-hour news and social media) to be naive enough to be snared by such a chase. They simply know too much and have a game to match any game you may come up with.
When you realized there are better things to do than chasing women.
They are also thinking similar about chasing men, lol.
Working hard & being a good person is what's truly important.
For me it was around 28, I discovered I like making money and being on my own. I am now 42 and nothing has changed. No Interest in dating, sex or allowing anyone into my space.
If a women is not pursuing you, she probably isn’t worth perusing.
Or crazy. Just be smart about things and watch out for red flags.
Sometimes if they do pursue, they aren’t worth it. May even be crazy. Happened to me. I wasn’t interested in her, but took a chance anyways to see if maybe I might grow on her. Thought I did for while but friends and family noticed she was bad news. It took a time of her being jealous of me spending time with my friends and other drama that enough was enough.
@@Dj.D25
true.
I guess the main point I was trying to get across was to not waste time on a woman who clearly has no interest.
This happens with every lady I approach, and it's very frustrating, demoralizing, and sad. Because we're missing a great opportunity. I don't know if it's just a wrong type that I keep going for, or if there's something about me that I'm missing but others see as a less than desirable quality. It's gotten to the point, where I don't even try anymore.
Even if you get a women she'll always be looking to trade up.
Most women go after the top 5% of guys. The next 15% of guys get a little action. All the other guys get crumbs. It's just not worth it.
The same exact thing happens to me. I dress nice, smile, well kept and showered etc. Still, whenever I try to talk to women it's all superficial. None of them are even slightly curious about me. I'm a good catch for someone out there but haven't run into anything worthwhile yet. I'm 42, own my business, have good income and a lot of nice toys to play with such as motorcycles and boats. I've given up looking too.
Tried Bumble, match, okcupid, tinder, none of them produced anything. This swipe right if you like my first picture game is a bunch of garbage. Even after you send them a message 99% of the time I still get ghosted. Not sure what I'm doing wrong here but something's gotta give.
I had “oneitis” for my HS sweetheart that I allowed myself to be disrespected w/ to much on & off til she got pregnant by another dude, that was the final straw but I think we all need to go through some sort of situation that it forces us to work on & become the best version of ourselves!
Btw love how you’re content is not biased on one sex & just keep it real
Great stuff as always Courtney! Even tho im already in a healthy relationship watching these vids keeps me grounded and reminds of what I have learned from when I was young and stupid lol. Also, good advice for younger guys who are more prone to mistakes (we all make 'em, nothing to be ashamed of).
You should make a video regarding how to get your crush and chase the right way. Girls has chased me through time and if they had given me a more direct sign I would know for sure they was into me. Now I feel stupid because I did nothing, but also know when she is into me or not. If the signs is there go for it ! - When meeting the right one you can feel it in your body and feel their presence when they are around. You can feel they wan't you without any words between you.
Before UA-cam existed, before coaching existed, before the Big Bang, I was never chasing because it never made sense to me.
I am transparent and you immediately know if I am interested in you. If you don’t show interest or if you say no, I simply go away. Just because it is what makes sense to me.
Don’t do it as revenge, or to hurt, or to play. Do it because you feel you don’t want to bother people. “Oh, but maybe the person is playing and testing if I will really show interest “.
Do you want to date a person like that?
Agreed!!
This is so on point!
Direct game is the best game, it was my style back in my 20s before Mrs Leano arrived. You need pretty high SMV but it sure saves a lot of time.
It’s happen to men in my family. It’s ruined their life chasing and being heartbroken over a woman. It almost happened to me but thank God I battled through Courtney. Great share.
Hi Courtney, i have only just discovered you on the 11th July and may i just say, that you articulate your wisdom in an engaging and thoughtful manner. I look forward to hearing your UA-cam live next week with a great deal of anticipation.
I dated a girl for a month since Valentine's. We went eating in a nice restaurants, kissed and at the end because she had 2 failed relationships then there was a wall which didn't make her able to move on, then she said we can be friends, which is something I didn't mind. Long story short, we had some misunderstanding words with texts, and it bothered us, at the end she said I'm awkward and weird and didn't she's happy she won't talk with me again. I'm a hard-working person, I go to the gym and work out a lot and take care of my body, also I'm moving from nyc to NJ and having my own apartment! But I'm hurt but I'd never contact her anymore and I'm moving on.. just moving with pain and focusing on getting my shit done and ready! I'm just saying.. thank you and take care.
Wasting your time is the perfect way to put it.
Putting in the effort for any woman or girl is a genuine waste if your time and resources.
Even if she does like you , let's be honest , she will change her mind very very soon.
Avoid the relationship and commitment at all costs
I'm in this situation right now. I just subscribed and thank you for this video. I have so many good things in my life to pour myself into. And that's exactly what I will be doing from this moment on!
One good way to think of it is this.......
Why would you want to waste time on someone that doesn't want you?
Great advice. I’m an older male 🙄 so I should have known all of this. Good thing I already followed this unknowingly that it’s not a good idea to chase anyone regardless if you are a guy or a gal doing the chasing.
I stopped chasing girls a long time ago after the restraining order. Best thing I've ever done.
Really pleased to see the counsel you're providing converging with solid advice coming from the men's community. "Chase personal excellence, not another person!"
Great video finally a woman's point of view on this topic love this content you are doing a amazing job 👍🏿
Thank you so much!
Know your worth. Respect yourself.
I can relate, I have been chasing a girl for two years and every day I run after her, things get worse. Now that I have given up on her, I felt more confident and happy. And I have just realized that it’s irritating her 😁
Yea I feel I'm starting to do that
4:39 you kept the best for last. That’s a gem of advice. Hard to Stay on purpose when this whole world keeps distracting us
I'm at the point where unless a girl tells me she's interested, I'm not going to bother. I'm incapable of reading choosing signs.
Thank you so much for these amazing tips and valuable advice, Courtney. I stopped chasing a person who literally made me feel worthless. She was poisoning my heart instead of filling it with love. Thank God I noticed it on time. I’ll focus on my goals.🙏
i love ur honesty from a female perspective.
🥰
I didn't chase.
I haven t been chased.
My Wife and I met as a casual acquaintance at my Sisters birthday party.
Good conversation.
Ran into her a few weeks later eating lunch.
Struck up another friendly conversation.
I would say it turned out well.
I agree with not putting all of your eggs into one basket too soon, but how short is "too soon?" This is the problem with some people who are too scared to ever put all of their eggs into one basket until it's too late and the other person is either no longer interested or has met someone else. This happened to me a few years ago, where I was casually dating someone whom I liked a lot and would have gotten exclusive with after a handful of good dates. But she was not at that point, yet, so I kept myself on the market. Well, 2 months later, when SHE finally wanted to take things to a different level, I had met someone else I liked a lot more. So if you snooze, you might lose. I've found that when I have gotten into a good relationship, we know after about 3 to 5 dates that we want to get exclusive and not tempt ourselves with others.
Things didn't work out with the second girl, of course, because she was also emotionally unavailable and a workaholic who made even less time and effort for me than the previous girl did, lol.
Great advice! Once I stopped pursuing, I was able to feel confident in myself, and found the woman who became my wife a few months later. New subscriber here who came to your channel by way of Teddy's channel. I enjoyed watching his elaborate scheme to gift you with that Rado Captain Cook.
The ironic part about this is that women of the 1950-60s actually used to chase men. My grandpa told me all kinds of stories of how women from childhood would literally knock on a man’s door and ask to be married. This advice used to be obvious to men who were genuinely busy with trying to earn a good income. Now that women make their own money and spend their twenties in college, men are stuck in a society where otherwise prospective wives are just too busy to enter into relationships/marriages and raise children.
@Mike Simms It's the 80/20 rule my dude. 80% of the women chase the top 20% of men, it's 90/10 in some cases. If you're not one of the top 10-20% of men, most (not all but most) women won't even give you a passing glance. Just don't even chase women to begin with, chase excellence and be the best version of yourself that you can be and the women will follow if you know what you're doing.
@Mike Simms Also don't forget the rise of the internet, social media, and smart phones that have dating apps that make finding a Chad literally a swipe away. An attractive woman nowadays has a number of guys in her phone that she's dealing with guaranteed.
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
Cardi B. artist & role model for black Americans (Latinas & Whites aren't far behind):
“My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.”
Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook:
"My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."
Isaiah 3:12
*Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road.
Proverbs 31:3
Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
*Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin
*The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
*The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
*The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
*The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
*Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
*Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
*Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
🕊💚🙋🏻♂️
This really helped open ma eyes
Seein alotta vids like this but there's something about hearing this from a woman that really un-bewitches you,thank you for the advice
🙏🤍
And shout out from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦
If a women isn’t totally committed to a relationship with you move on and she will respect you more, you never know she may make contact with you later in life, then the decision will be yours!
Great point
I stopped chasing overall. Not just in romantic relationships but also friendly ones. I used to put in all the work and ‘water dead plants’ so to speak. People make time for things that are important to them and if you’re not on that list they won’t put in extra effort when it counts the most.
It's 2021 kings, no more chasing.
👑
Love your honesty in your message Courtney. I'm a middle age man that has struggled with this situation the past several months. I'm learning to trust advice from sources like you and have patience and determination in the process of letting go. Confidence will grow from that. Thank you for always giving us the insider on this chaotic world of dating.
"Chase excellence, not girls!" R.C
Haven't watched the video, but this is easily the best advise. This saves so much headaches.
👏🏼👏🏼
Men should level up, focus on their purpose, expand your knowledge to have a strong mind, and work out and stay in the gym and get fit focus on that not the women they will come anyway.
Courtney, this is by far the best advice You have given to Younger Men. Good work.
Guys listen to this advice. I used to have this desperate looking oneitis. Once you unlearn that behavior things are much easier and better.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
You taught me to no longer chase but pursue. Don't be a simp by focusing on one woman and making a fool out of yourself.
Men do the selecting and women do the choosing if anything will happen. Still up to men to make the first moves (selecting) and it's the women who will decide if they want anything to happen (reject or accept).
Please stop making such bullshit points,anyone can do selecting and choosing.
Courtney, good morning. I am aware of what you are presenting.
I am "not chasing" after any lady. I am doing my own self development.
A lot of people are complementing me indirectly. Why? I am listening to them, but not acknowledging them.
I am not being disrespectful. I am being mutually respectful.
I won't chase after a woman who does not have my mindset or wants my to be unhappy.
She is history. She is the one chasing after me to tear me down and watching me.
My career is still alive. She, her relatives or cronies won't black list me.
Thanks for the update. Nice catch! You see the light!
well im here for courtney , doent matter first or last , I WIN
Winning!!
Thanks for more great content Courtney. These videos help us through life. Watching this and others tells me I am not making the mistakes that you mention and is a breath of fresh air. Many men need to hear these things, and especially from a young, positive woman like yourself. 🙂