Do I plan to have kids?
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You know what is ACTUALLY selfish? Having kids when you don't actually want kids. Children deserve parents that want them. Be honest with yourself and your partner.
Having kids when the person is not willing to invest the time, effort and money they require.
Like children were dolls you put away when you're tired of them, and take them out when you want people to congratulate you on having a beautiful family.
@@lesath7883 people who forgot what it is like to have kids think of all the good times they had. They never think about the crying in your arms part while on the bus without knowing how to make it stop, while also having your carriage be in the disabled section taking up space and blocking people from leaving/boarding said bus, when you already get anxiety from holding up a line in a grocery store when the cashier finished scanning your items and you still haven't put them all away
@@Edzter If you can't go to the grocery store without having a breakdown, you certainly should not be having children.
@@lesath7883 Anxiety does not equal panic attack you muppet
Nah, whats ACTUALLY selfish is to expect to have hospitals and a power grid for your old age when you've been accumulating money, real estate, and have given back no kids to replace the workforce, and have actively diminished the available resources for those who do have kids.
Others deal in opiniated moral systems, whereas I ground myself with physical, quantifiable realities.
What's actually selfish is to have children and then neglect them.
nah i think just in general having kids is selfish ... but its ok to be selfish sometimes xD
@@toukoenriaze9870 Why would having a child be selfish?
@@ckicken946 your bringing people into this world without their consent ... And confining them to 18 years of being less than human no matter how kind of a parent you are
@@ckicken946It is selfish because there is already enough people on this planet and so producing more is mostly just about the ego of wanting ones that have your own genes. Even the countries that have declining birthrates don't really have any need for more yet, they are just afraid of ethnic dilution and attempting to sustain unsustainable economies.
@@elio7610 Economically, every country is scared of the declining birth rate. An aging population is damaging to the economy. People exit the workforce, they stop paying taxes and start receiving pensions. We need to at least match replacement rate to keep public services running, so there's always a new generation of labor to work and pay taxes.
Having children keeps society running.
But the country does have to do things to make it easier to raise children, financially and time management.
I think it's interesting how often childfree people get called selfish when the absolute top reason I hear for people not having kids is "I know what it takes to raise a child in the way they deserve, and I'm not in a place to provide that."
If you have kids to make your own life more interesting, and you don't even consider your ability to raise that child well, you might be the selfish one.
Almost every parent has kids to give their own life more meaning. Having kids is basically the most selfish thing a person can do.
@@TP-pq9xx
I think it's a still just a tad more selfish to insist that others must have kids, and then act like any other choice is wrong and shameful.
To be fair, I've never in my life heard people who don't want to have children being referred to as selfish. Not once.
Some people think it's just something you do at some point in a relationship, but beyond mild irritation I've never seen anybody have any harder feelings about it.
@@TP-pq9xx this 100%
Yep.
Don’t have kids if you don’t want them. My wife and I have a baby because we after 12 years still wanted a baby even though my wife is a teacher. We love being parents, it fits us like a glove. For people who want a kid just to check off something in a list, then it’s not for you. Kids are an incredible amount of work, we are waking up every two hours to feed and change an innumerable amount of diapers and that’s just the beginning. I’m glad you know yourself Josh, nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all.
This. Your baby is your purpose in life and you're doing everything for it because of the purpose it gives you.
People who have other life priorities may have found purpose elsewhere and raising a child would hold them back from the purpose.
Exactly. Got two god-kids. Helped to raise them. Got some greaaat memories when occasionally i had to spend a day with them.
Now at 33 excited about my goals, a burden, of my own ideas etc,. but, life has a purpose, for whatever time that there's left. It's so easy to wake up. The scariest moments were when there was nothing to wake up for.
And the first thing that comes into mind if having one of your own, - me sitting at a bench, 50 years later, happy, but full of regrets that i never tried to achieve any of those, plus, despite of being natty for 20 years, at 33 i already can feel that energy is becoming a resource and you have to manage it properly. Time, as well. @@petresko1041
@@oatscylonbecause not everyone can afford to raise kids or have the ability to or just because they don't want to
@@petresko1041you can have a child even if not your "purpose in life"
@@oatscylon Because there aren't as many adoptable kids in the world as you would think. Some relatives of mine looked into adoption after struggling to have a child themselves. The wait list was 3+ years just to maybe, possibly, potentially, have a chance at adopting a kid. And on top of that the cost to adopt was more than several rounds of IVF. And before you say it, yes there's plenty of kids in foster care and no most of them are not up for adoption. The government prefers to keep the option of reuniting foster kids with their bio-families open, only adopting out the kid if the family is really, really, extra awful.
As somebody who works with very troubled kids/teengers who came from extremely broken families, you would not belive how badly negecful and bad parenting can destroy a life.
Don't have children if you can't provide for them or don't want them, its that simple.
but people who that is capable of making a conscious decision to have or not have a child should be the ones who SHOULD have a children. Otherwise we will always end up with parents who didn't want to have a children but they had it by accident.
@@v44n7 plz stop guilt-tripping smart people into reproducing and start saving children from neglectful parents because it is not the child's fault the parents are idiots
There are so many children in foster care and if you really care about the future you would think of them
@@v44n7 the very fact that they make the conscious decisions to not have kids is the most vital evidence of why they should not have one. They literally don't want it and they know it, what child would benefit growing up in a family like that?
"I would forget their name so I'd default to calling them Timmy"
lmao
As a mom, I think it's way more irresponsible to have kids if you know you don't want to or can't give EVERYTHING of yourself to them. You no longer matter for a very long time and so many people can't handle that and the resentment goes into that child. I think it's selfish to have kids and know you don't want them, just to fulfill some weird social construct. I think that NOT having kids should be the standard, and having kids should be an important choice you make for your life and theirs.
Unfortunately, that means, that the responsible and selfreflected people don't put these important characteristics into the gene pool out there anymore. And we really need these genes to be passed on if you look around in the world.
@@grieveromega6060 I don't think responsibility is determined by genes. I'm pretty certain it has to be nurtured by everyone else. Which is why if your a teacher you probably shouldn't feel bad about not wanting to have kids. You are participating in the raising of thousands of children. Your doing plenty.
@@Mandus_The_Mad I grew up with 6 siblings which came from different parents with different issues. All of these kids had no contact with their original parents after they were 2 years old and all of them nearly copied the lifes, behaviours, mimics, gestures and also drug affinities and crimes of their related genetical parents.
Genes have huge influence on peoples characteristics. I would say only 10-20% of someones personality is decided by upbringing.
@@Mandus_The_MadHigh inhibition and high IQ are pretty much genetic traits. And yes, sadly this world is not made for favoring passing those genes on forward. Irresponsible and hive-minded ones tend to procreate more than these.
@@grieveromega6060 were these parents taught and offered effective birth control? Just a question. Because I wasn't and I'm very lucky that I ended up capable to raise my child, but it only took once to learn lol
As I’m getting older, many parents around me have decided to be more honest about having kids. On many occasions, they have told me that they’re envious of my childless lifestyle. I have also noticed that when my girlfriend is asked by her female friends when she will have kids, there is a sense of bitterness from them because she don’t share their suffering and difficulties of raising younglings.
Oh yeah, for sure. I can totally see that happen with women, especially
I went through some hard times as a kid and it made me very shy and withdrawn. Now I'm an adult and I'm trying to make up for lost time. I literally cannot see where a kid fits into that. I value my own time too much.
I'm in the exact same boat. We should all just do what makes sense for each of us personally depending on our own journey in life, and not all try to fit in the same societal standard.
I don't even have one life in control. Now you expect me to have another one?
control is an illusion
This is reflected on his Skyrim playthrough with Rufus. Please don't have kids, Josh.
To be fair, that kid was created to be neglected.
My answer when they ask me that question: "In this Economy? No."
That is a great answer to almost everything.
"I've seen enough Disney movies to know what happens to parents, I'm good."
I would add "and society".
Feel the same way. My body has also been having trouble and I've been contemplating just getting a hysterectomy and be done with it. I'm also selfish with my time because I want to do my own thing.
My best friend is a single mom and she has a severely autistic child and although she's a great mom, her finances are always tight and she talks about how she'd like to get back into singing, acting, and so on but she can't.
Another friend she's in a position of basically doing everything and her husband is like oh you've been home all day with the kid but why isn't the house clean. She also started going to school at night, she barely sleeps.
That's not a life that I want. And if, down the line, I decide differently, and I make the personal changes, then I'll adopt a kid.
I look at having kids the same way I look at enlisting in the military.
If you go into it, knowing it'll be a challenge that'll test you and push you, and make certain periods of your life absolute hell, but decide to do it anyway, that's admirable.
If you go into it, awash in unrealistic fantasies, expecting to have a great time, or expecting it to somehow fix all your personal problems for you, you're a fool.
People who take a good hard look at either and decide it's not for them are just being reasonable, not to mention, sparing some poor child the burden of being raised by someone who's not ready for them.
Look mate I'm 31, and I still need approximately 0.2 seconds of thought for that exact same answer, for the last 10 years.
"Hell no. Too selfish, too sad, don't want to have a child that grows up with a dad who's depression is a constant factor, can't even begin to fathom what the global temperature will have risen to by 2055, can't even begin to fathom how many hundreds of thousands of dollars a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house with no back yard will cost, electric vehicles are a luxury and not anything that will save the planet, money is more abundant and worthless than ever, my kids rent after 18 years old will be 2500 dollars a month for a ROOM at a landlord/tenants house, politics have become a hellscape of money over human rights..."
TLDR The Big Millenial Sad prevents me from bringing another life into the world that will be just as cynical as I, and my selfishness makes me not the slightest bit guilty
You summed up a huge reason for marriage rates to be declining... and child birth rates.
This is gonna sound weird, but have you ever played Cities Skylines? When you raise the tax rate up really high you earn tons of money for a while... and then everyone leaves... and the city is thrashed... and youre left with nothing after a short while.
Thats WAY more accurate than people think. When money becomes a hydraulic press that crushes our souls into a fine powder... we don't really feel the need to sign up children for the same struggle amplified even harder in 19 years... and we have a harder time bonding with others because we're too depressed and apathetic to care.
I am of the opinion that not having kids is going to lead our entire economy to come crashing down. We will have too many houses to rent and not enough people to rent them. We will have procured so many resources we couldn't use them before they spoil. Every industry will be hit hard in the next 50 years and prices will be forced to drop to stay competitive. That's fine with me too. F*** around and find out, right politicians?
Amen to that mate.
Future generations will probably just start living together in larger families to account for the economical climate shift. I have a friend who's entire family and extended family essensially lived in an apartment complex that they owned, previous generations has just been too greedy and selfish to build this sort of core family collaboration
@@jeppe9821 Why would it be preferable or in any way less "greedy and selfish" for a family to own an entire apartment complex, and house themselves within that complex, rather than just working separately and owning their own individual houses? I see no difference between those two things, other than that they'd see each other every day and presumably run it as a family business.
@@jeppe9821 We will literally have to return to tribes of families for survival and be as independent and self-sufficient as possible, as soon as possible. The problem is that still takes a stupid amount of money, time and effort.
I mean, giving up your dreams for your kids isn't really a good thing. As a parent the healthiest times are when you bring the kid along with your life not when you stop your life for them. Make them important but they also need to learn that life isn't centered on them or any individual. We all have needs and wants that have to be balanced against each other.
Things like that become complicated for people who are single parents and etc. My best friend is a single parent, she has a severely autistic kid, and although she wants to sing, act, and so on, she can't. Her support system and finances would not even remotely allow her to have the time to go to rehearsal and so on. Whatever dreams that she has, they are on hold until further notice.
@@infinitecurlie I get it. I mean more that we need to, ideally, find ways to integrate the two lives. Not sacrifice one for another. And yes, obviously the world doesn't allow ideal outcomes. But at the theoretical level we can at least get a concept of what would be healthy for everyone as opposed to obvious and on its face trash. Such as the idea a parent must necessarily and by course give up their own life for that of their offspring. No, lack of support from society doesn't alter what would be best for all parties. But of course we have to take material circumstances into account. I mean, I'd imagine you'd also say a parent should not abuse their offspring, foster independence and critical thinking, want the world easier for them than they had it, and in general provide a more positive life than was given them. This ideal almost never happens in total. Doesn't mean we don't aim for it. Failure doesn't undo the attempt.
Too many people I feel have children because society told them to
It's the same thing with getting married. Theres a reason divorce rates are so high, and while thats not the only factor, societal pressure has something to do with it. But hey, we learn that lesson in like high school that we should not be doing something so others think were cool or so others like us. Just do what you want to.
It's such a weird take when absolutly every living things wants to reproduce
Is the plant society told the plants to grow seeds ?
Does animal society told the animals to reproduce ?
Does society orders your cells to reproduce to keep you alive ?
@@MadScientistSid Wanting to reproduce and taking care of your offspring are two different things. It also differs based on sex. In most of the animal kingdom (humans fit in here) males just pump and dump; give the seed, and done. Humans are bit unique, so the best we can do in that regard is just have sex without actually creating a new life. Like getting the urge out of the way, and not deal with the responsibility later.
@@MadScientistSid "absolutly every living things wants to reproduce"
No. Source: Me, a living thing that does not want to reproduce.
@@MadScientistSid i kinda see what you are saying but you are saying it very poorly like wtf is plant society? they arent humans like come on man. we in our HUMAN society do have a lot of weird things we tell people they have to do or putting people into roles. People wanting to not be ostracized from our society might succumb to peer pressure.
Its very responsible, to know you're too selfish to have children.
Well done josh.
To be fair, it's a lot more selfish having children than abstaining from having children.
This is me. I've known for nearly 15 years that I'm too selfish to have kids. If the doctors would've let me, I'd have had a hysterectomy 10 years ago when I became more certain in that decision. Now I'm turning 34 n it doesn't rly matter anymore. Luckily my bf doesn't want any either.
@@kapparaaliach EXACTLY! We have too many people on this planet, not too few.
@@kapparaaliachNo. Having children means sacrificing a LOT of your own wants and desires and prioritizing the well-being and needs of little ones who just as often throw tantrums at you as show you love. No parent would ever agree with you.
@@Dogg1982of course parents would disagree. They want to be glorified and called martyrs.
What is unselfish is sacrificing your time and effort and well-being for someone else that already exists. Not for something that you yourself made. Why should anyone call you selfless for giving your resources and time on something YOU CREATED. It is your fault. You made a kid to make yourself feel complete because you can't achieve anything meaningful. You made a kid to pass down your name. THAT is selfish.
I really dont get the "its selfish to not have kids" thing it makes absolutely no sense
Because you don't want to invest your time to bring life as you're intended to do as every living beeing and you instead want to play video games instead of changing diapers i guess ?
Arguably it's selfish to have kids. You're dragging them into existence while they have no say in the matter
it's easy: not having kids puts your own interests before the interests of for example your family or society. => selfish
however: selfish is not inherently negative. stuff like self-care and personal development are also important. and having a kid might be what society expects you to do but it might still be a net negative, for example if you are unable to care for it. In that case selfish also means responsible.
having kids in this day and age is more akin to having an expensive pet because their are no future prospects for the kid and with the housing crisis bëing what it is your most likely gonna be stuck with the kid till he/she is somewhere around age 40 before they move out and all that time your gonna be stuck having to take care of them and support them so i dont think its selfish to not want a kid, its the right way to think considering the times
A lot of people who say that are mostly parents, who are jealous that they have less freedoms and probably question their life choices, so they are trying to validate them.
It's great to be the cool uncle
yeah sure is, both my nephwes are already hooked on gaming, once they become mature enough to start playing some more adult games ill just turn them towards the dark side.
@@patrickpol6156 I'm waiting for them to grow up to teach them how to play Dark Souls, it's gonna be so fun (for me)
i love being the cool uncle
Dink lifestyle is super worth it. Gaming until I'm dead and selfishly spoiling ourselves with sleep, gaming, and going wherever I want to go.
exactly you get it👍
I don’t think wanting sleep, hobbies and a life are selfish. I am childfree too
There's nothing inherently wrong with having children but "Not having children" is not selfish. Having children is. No person has ever asked to be born. They just have life thrusted on to them no matter their circumstances; Made worse if those circumstances are not adequate for raising a well rounded, stable and healthy child.
I've had parents see me interacting with their kids and expressing surprise that I don't have kids of my own.
I think its actually more selfish to have kids just for the sake of it and have them raised by a mix of tv, school and antisocialmedia.
I don't even have a romantic partner, but if I ever do and she is interested in having children, it would ONLY be under these circumstances:
1) Either she becomes a housewife or I become a househusband. Our kid MUST have a parental figure present in their live. No way in hell I'll accept leaving them abandoned on a nursery or with a babysitter.
2) Whoever of us works MUST earn AT LEAST 3 times the legal minimum wage. We are not living with less than that.
3) The kid MUST have medical insurance. I will not put my kid's life at risk just to save up money.
If we can't manage even that, there is simply no way I'll accept having children.
The decision not to have children is not selfish, rather it should be viewed as a mature and conscious choice. Knowing what you want in life is fantastic. On the other hand, my own decision to have a child was difficult, but thought through. And although it's hard to plan anything with a three-year-old jumping around, I still pursue my career as an artist & creator. It's by all means possible when you have a supportive partner, but indeed harder. But I knew it would be like this, and I don't regret a thing. The most important thing is to make this decision with your eyes wide open.
Not having kids: selfish. Having kids: selfish. Adopting: not selfish.
The problem is, people who objectively should not have Kids never ask whether they should have them. They just keep getting them - is if there were'nt more than enough options to avoid that. Thus humanity is bound to stay stupid, it's sad but you cannot argue against the statistics. Fact is fact.
As someone who deals with abused children, etc. ... Don't have children if you don't want them - and only have children if you want them (and can take care of them [parenting, etc.]).
Otherwise they become my patients :)
Also just because you don't want them - doesn't make hating them okay. Emphasis on hating.
Just live your life :)
Very responsible, well said, Josh.
Aside from the hyperbole, I completely resonate with you.
Ppl say to me not wanting a child is selfish.
I say to them divorcing your husband/wife and leaving your child without parents is selfish.
There, that's my answer.
As a cool uncle and nothing more I approve this message.
Father to a 6 year old girl here. A child is a human being. It's not a toy, it's not your 'means of fulfilment'. It's a human being with needs, wants, personality, idiosyncracies and, really, generally annoying most of the time. They are also lovely and worth living and dying for. Don't have a child because 'its the thing to do'. Do it because you want to. Having written that, no one is ever 'ready', to have children. If you're waiting for that time, especially as a man, it'll never come. 'Sure' and 'why not', will be as 'ready' as you're going to be. :)
I was always a hardcore gamer. I believe that I'm still kinda addicted. I also work really hard (being self employed) but my rule in aldult life was to work really hard, bring in money, do chores so when I finally have some free time I could loose myself in games and nobody should have any issue with it. For a long time it worked fine. Until I got a kid. I always wanted kids, knew that it's gonna wreck my time management. But BOY, I didn't expect that it will siphon almost every free hour I got. It really messes with your head. Messes with any plans you had before that. (for example posting some overly analytic game reviews) So I can 100% understand you Josh. Still, while I'm looking at my toddler I would'nt have done anything differently. My point isn't to berate anyone who doesn't want to have kids. My point is to illustrate those of you who think about having kids that it's a hard work. Work that's gonna take a lot of your time and energy. It's extremely gratifying though.
Been trying for a kid for almost three years, and we'll keep trying regardless. We're not the perfect couple, we probably won't be perfect parents, but we will rise to the occasion if we are blessed and meant to have a baby.
Didn't mean to make it deep or personal 😅 That's the honest take
I'm in the same boat. My husband and I struggle with infertility, and now the question has become, are you willing to go through x,y, & z to be able to have a kid. And I just haven't figured out yet if I'm willing to put my body through all the medical procedures it'll take to have a baby. Not only would it be ridiculously expensive, but it would take a heavy mental and physical toll as well. Either way, whenever I get asked by near strangers when I'm having kids feels extremely intrusive.
Edit: The same is true for adoption and fostering. Adoption has a steep cost in America. Both processes are extremely hard mentally.
I like how in this whole hypothetical, Josh just "has a kid" with no wife
I love being a wife and mother. I have no problem with someone not wanting kids. I DO have a problem with deciding that a child's value has anything to do with whether it's wanted by its parents.
My own mother still occasionally reminds me that she never wanted me, and follows with "but don't get me wrong, I love my grandkids." I've been told to my face that my children and I shouldn't exist, and that I ruined my mom's life because she didn't ab0rt me. I've been told that because we're just above the poverty line, my kids would've been better off dead. I've been told that because of the trauma and abuse I suffered as a child, that I would've been better off dead. That my life has no value because my mother doesn't love me. What a twisted, hateful concept. I'm blessed to be here, blessed to have my own family. My parents' lack of wanting to be parents has zero bearing on my worth, and I'm thankful I wasn't killed before understanding that.
I ask everyone here to take that into consideration when thinking that killing the unborn is an acceptable alternative to unplanned parenthood. If you don't want children, do your absolute best to never create any. If you do create one, step up and care for it, or give it to someone else who will.
You could argue that having them is selfish. This world can be an incredibly cruel and miserable place, and bringing children into the world is sentencing them to a life time of dealing with that. All becuse you want to feel good about yourself, or peer pressured into doing so.
We raise this question because we know what a big chore is to raise a kid.
Now the question is, if we are so reluctant to have kids, how the hell isn't our species extinct yet?
I'm 35 and I keep getting asked when I've repeatedly stated I have no desire for children. Kids are great, I just do not want them because I value my free time to play games and create, along with other very personal reasons. The expectation to have kids at a certain age is honestly extremely weird to me
Well, it is a social pressure because people think getting kids is normal, but also a social pressure because our society gets older and older because we have too less kids and this will be a big issue in the future.
@Hoto74 true, but then there's the fact kids are expensive as hell and jobs refuse to pay living wages, combined with an out of control housing market and rent prices. Doesn't really make me want to subject a child to that
@@shaneh6707 Yep, that are all problems on the other side and not even limited to one country, it's a global problem in many countries. Something is going very wrong here.
Because past a certain age you can't have em,especially for women.
And you will feel miss an integral part of human life.
@hieroprotoganist3440 maybe for you, sure. But I do not want kids. Ever. I know myself well enough to know I would not be the parent a child deserves. Uncle? Yes. Parent? No. Some people aren't meant to be Parents for a multitude of reasons. Treating kids a something on a checklist is how you end up with abused kids.
Josh is Gon's Dad.
man, we're so screwed... all the smart people i know have come to the same realization, so the only ones having kids... well, lets just say idiocracy was supposed to be a parody but it's rapidly becoming a documentary
I can confirm being the cool uncle is very fun and easy
it is selfish to have kids also, not that easy not being one anyway
As a dad myself, I say - "Don't have kids" ! 🤣🤣🤣
Your life, your choice.
And damn like, the way Josh is, being self aware and cognizant of this sort of stuff to say he doesn't want kids - ironically I think is what would make him a good dad 😂 Everyone's choices are theirs though.
What’s really selfish is having kids just because you want them in the way you’d want a kitten.
That’s a whole human life being born without any input from their non-existent selves. You can’t just think of them as an accessory with the purpose of giving *you* fulfillment in *your* life because *you* want to cross off ‘having a ‘real’ family’ on *your* list of what ‘normal’ people are expected to do.
A 26yo friend of mine (who had the snip) is going through what I've been going through; we're both childless and now we're trying to find the answer to "Is this it?".
There's definitely trade-offs to both sides. If you do have a kid you've lost your autonomy for the next 20+ years, but you have the strongest reason to keep going that you'll ever have. If you don't have a kid, you've got your autonomy but you'll have to find another reason to keep going...which is way harder than it sounds.
I feel exactly this way but with marriage
its all the same, people think they need to get married and have kids because that's the traditional thing to do but times have changed, people did'nt and now their having a hard time razing kids and not understanding the lack of future prospects for those kids.
Yeah even if you have a partner you really don't need to get married in the traditional sense. It's just a piece of paper for the government and people to see, maybe you'll get some benefits or protections with it, but overall it's not actually anything important.
What matters is if people love and commit to eachother. Signing a document and having a wedding can never truly "prove" your love nor make it last forever. There's people who actually just don't ever get "traditionally" married but they live together for the rest of their lives, care for eachother, sometimes even have a child, ect. Sounds like they're married lovers to me why would I expect them to waste money on trying to "prove" that to everyone else with a piece of paper?
"the food I left on the side is still there, nothing is randomly broken"
I thought you had a cat tho xD
A couple days ago the french president told the french people he needs more workers and unironically asked them to make more babies because of the decline in birth rates, and of course he said that after successfully ignoring the increasing poverty, unemployment and homelessness problems in the country. So apparently kids can also be state property i guess ?
At least he admits it.
Generation's suport each other.
To break the line deliberately overtly expects others to contribute where you refused.
About the uncle thing, Josh I agree 100%.
As an Uncle, the second best part of it is that at the end of the day I get to go home and relax without kids. The best part of it is spending time(limited thank god) with my nephews. It's the same reason I love working with kids in my current job. Because at the end of the day I don't also have to go home to even more kids.
I'm pretty sure I could never hold down my current job for long if I had kids. I would have had to do something else that wasn't related to children.
I'm 100% a great uncle. I know this because I have 1 brother myself, and my brother-in-law has his own 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Yet I'm still the favorite. Competition was harsh, but I prevailed. And I still do. But I could never handle being a dad. Because as an Uncle, I can always leave whenever I feel like it. I don't need to be around and available 24/7.
So the answer to the "Is not having kids selfish" question is a yes. Society needs to at the replace or at the very least come close to replacing all adults to not cause a huge issue with aging populations in the future. To not have kids is to say that it's the problem for the next generation to handle and you don't want to contribute to the solution to pursue self satisfaction, which is selfish. Should you have kids just to not be selfish? Of course not.
You’ve exactly articulated my feelings about having kids- fun uncle/aunt/etc and give them back!
what's really f***ed up to me that I realized recently is how anyone cool and interesting and decent I know doesn't have kids and doesn't wanna have kids and all the people ranging from Mid, to horrible people have kids, it is depressing
Ideocracy.
Might aswell laugh about it before it's too late.
Its because nothing in life will make you feel like a bigger piece of crap than being a parent. Nothing you do will be good enough and you will tell yourself that everyday. Plus if your kid goes on to do something bad you will blame yourself even if its not your fault. Its literally a constant cycle of trying so hard and still blaming yourself when it goes wrong.
I ain't selfish, I just don't feel like raising new slaves for the system.
... So what I'm hearing is that your kid will be kidnapped by bandits, rescued by a Paladin and then turned into a hideous ghoul?
Children are a blessing, if you see them as such. Otherwise, take care not to let family or social pressure lead you into a life time commitment you cannot take back. A child is not an experiment, or a bucket list objective. It is not something to make you happy, it’s a little person who’s happiness depends on you. Ultimately, the choice is yours and it will have consequences for the rest of your life, on you, your partner and your child. Choose wisely.
PS: I had forgotten Josh had a brother. 🤔
Giving them back is the best part of kids.
im 42, never been married never had a long term relationship. Ive gone full blown lone wolf mode and have zero desire for children.
One of my sisters has 5 kids, which is 5 kids too many. My other sister and I have none, which is precisely the correct amount.
I can barely take care of myself and the world has made it abundantly clear that my genes are not wanted.
Also I am really annoyed when something wakes me up on the weekend.
So even if I had the choice I would pobably decide against it.
the downfall and end of humanity folks
I feel the same way Josh. I am lucky though, I get to live out the cool uncle dream
It’s OK to not want kids, I don’t see this world getting better and would not feel comfortable bringing someone into it- if I had a choice of course.
"selfish" is such a strange descriptor for someone who doesn't want to have kids. like, do you need me to have kids? do you want me to have kids?
Preach brother. Current teacher and got my vasectomy a few months ago. The day may come when I'll adopt, but that is it.
Unloading the gun is so much more effective than putting on a bulletproof vest. Good on you for making that decision for yourself and your future partners!
I think it is selfish, but aren't we all selfish in our own way? I think we are entitled to be a little selfish and take care of ourselves first.
That said, I found an amazing person to tackle life with, and by raising a couple kids I can bring more amazing people like her into this world. Give someone else the opportunity to experience the same love that I have been lucky to have, rather than hoard that experience all to myself.
What a beautiful way to look at it.
To whom even would not having kids be selfish against?
The kid that doesn't exist?
Certainly not myself.
Parents? They already had kids.
That's an incredibly responsible thing to believe
Man, you have no idea how much I agree with you in all you said.
I want to be a dad so badly but i know im nowhere near ready for that responsibility. I have so much fun being the cool uncle, but when it's time to help out with actual parent stuff i just fall flat. My sister recently having kids made me realize i do have potential when it comes to raising a kid but I'm not even close to ready for the responsibility yet. Probably wont be for a very long time.
its not selffish, just not a good longterm call.. lonely when you are old & less and less people caring about u
The only reason people without kids get called out on it, is because the people WITH kids are jealous.
Some call his child...
...
Tim.
100% on point.
0:35 sounds more like Josh doesn’t want a spouse 😂
I can't believe he'd just walk out on Abercrombie like that 😔
Some people say having kids is great. Then you go to the market and some useless flesh lump the size of a ball starts screaming their incoherent lungs out, while another begs for something they won't be given and that becomes a nuisance. And that will be it for a good 8 years if you are lucky. If caring for my sanity is selfish, then damn...I'll GLADLY never have kids.
In this economy, with this society? That's a big fat fucking NO.
As a father of three who has a pathetically small amount of time to game, I wholeheartedly support this.
Kids are great. My son is coming to the right age, so I finally have somebody to play couch coop games!
Preach!! 👏🙌🙌
We are Josh's children. Hello family
It's selfish for other people to expect you to have kids.
If you're thinking about having kids, don't. Adopt a dog first, see if you can deal with that responsibility first, and then maybe think some more about having kids.
"Good evening children. So what did you learn at school today...err... Jesus is a cu..."
I'm selfish af with my time also, I like doing shit on my terms, when I want to. Not being forced to take care of a child, or give up my freedom for one. I'd rather also not bring another life into this world with the state it's in, even if I gave them the best chance possible, this life sucks and is harsh. Might as well just keep gaming and doing things on my term. Like it's ok to be, "selfish" enough to realize you'd be selfish by bringing a child into the world.
I actually respect people who don't wanna have kids and commit to it. Too many suffering children in the world with parents who didn't really want them.
Yes it is selfish, and Selfishness is a good thing! Doing what's in your own best interest is your sole responsibility.
There's nothing selfish about it.
What's selfish beyond belief is insisting that other people have kids, or thinking that it's in any way one's business to begin with regarding others.
Something people often fail to realize when considering having children is that those children are human beings. So many people go into having kids the same way they adopt a pet and it's just not the same thing. Josh seems to understand how much of a life changing responsibility it is. It definitely isn't for everybody.
I feel like most people look at kids as all the same. No, some kids are easy and some kids are nightmare mode. Thank the Lord I was blessed with well behaved kids but some people will have it harder than others. Also I can’t say it enough but having kids is a whole different experience than being around other people’s kids. I don’t like being around other people’s kids but I get excited to go home and see mine.
i was considering having kids but I had to babysit my half brother for a few times and in just a few hours he managed to break a bunch of my stuff i really had to look at him 24/7. so imagine that 24/7 for 18 years so i am doubting if i should do this
Love how Josh never acknowledges the mother of said hypothetical child. Pretty based
That me. I like kids and I'm actually pretty good at being patient and understanding with kids while speaking to them at a level they can understand... at least when it's other people's kids, mostly younger cousins or my niece, but yeah, it easy to be the "cool" adult when I don't have to be responsible for taking care of those children 24/7.
It less selfish to admit the things I'm not capable of than it would be to try and take on a responsibility where my failings could screw up someone's entire life.
Kids were never a consideration in my life. Me and my partner own two houses, holiday when we like, do spontaneous things anytime we like and just enjoy our lives and it just wouldn't be possible with kids. I've never regretted not having kids and I never will.
Think what you can give. Dont think what kid will give or take you.
It's a sad day for who ever wanted to call you daddy
Yes, people are allowed to be selfish, imagine that.