The Subtle Art Of NOT Caring What People Think
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- Опубліковано 22 лис 2024
- 90% of people care too much about what other people think... This video reveals the fastest way to overcome this!
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JULIEN's INSTAGRAM: / julienhimself
Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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The Subtle Art Of NOT Caring What People Think
How to be confident in any situation! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals how to stop caring about what others think about you... This will allow you to feel confident and be confident in any social situation!
Discover how to be confident in any social situation, how to be confident around people and how to be grounded during social interactions!
#julienblanc #julienhimself
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🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
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- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: ua-cam.com/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/v-deo.html
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Grima Wormtongue!
Who is seriously addicted to this channel lately? 😂
I love this channel!!
Me too❤❤
Meee 😩
Me
but excess of everything is bad same goes for this channel
The “you’re so stupid why do you do that again? You never change” really got to me.
Powerful ❤
I was in tears for the most of this. My heart was broken and repaired several times during this video.
What a brave soul she is. ❤💝
"Comfort zone isn't always comfortable". Real. Sometimes we're so exposed to the bad things that our mind is telling us that it's easier to feel bad, suffer and just blame ourselves than to find peace
anger is such a hard one for women ... after generations of being told never to show anger alot of us cant even connect with it and get stuck in the grief area
I didn’t know that was something women specifically experienced, I thought it was just random. That’s interesting, and a problem I really really have a struggle with. I just can’t access the rage that Ive been forced to suppress over decades and I am sick all the time. I literally don’t know how to even express anger anymore and just cry instead.
The irony of all this is that the less you care about what others think of you, the more authentic you come across and then counter intuitivley people care more about you.
I don’t think it’s so black and white. Once you achieve true self confidence you can then value what others think about you however the value from others isn’t the only thing fueling your self worth.
Yeah cuz they feeeel the change that you consciously made and really your frequency (yo energy Mayne)
@@XxKINGatLIFExX are you aware of why?
@@specialone6731 I am aware of my drive my motivating action to understand to be compassionate to be aware of awareness of your generosity your intention your energy your breathing when you get to the place that weed gets you too then you are there and you are at peace because you are connected and your connected because you are nothing and you are everything and that's duality and that's where you end once you try to start noticing when your insulting yourself because your being too harsh on yourself but it doesn't matter because it's an action but your too fixated on what you feel and not enough on what is happening in the moment your noticing your breathing your thoughts your energy your drive your motivation, if you say to yourself in your mind as a thought with any voice doesn't matter it could be multiple it could be one it's all the same because some of your negative and degrading thoughts are just you attacking and abusing yourself and your not even aware of it and that will show you and others where you are at in the journey and it will show others everything that you believe everything that you think that is a positive thought, your heart is the way your mind is the receiver and the transmitting and the message and the meaning and the watcher, now try saying everything that you see on this comment message, and replace every you and your in your head as a thought because then you'll feel at peace so try it out and let me know what you feel if you have the courage and the willingness and knowledge and knowing and awareness of everything you are sensing, if your aware of what your feeling then you can be whole unified peace peaceful, that's what I think but you may disagree with me and that okay I am me and you are you always.
@@adienbrooks8281 Yes, I believe it's down to replacing your own people pleasing behaviour with your authentic genuine self. It's scary to do this as it means you have to be willing to be rejected and outcast. Although people intuitively know when your are putting on an act to please them. That's the irony, and I think it comes down to the false upbringing in our lives where we were supposed to sit down and be quiet. We were supposed to be nice to women, we were supposed to not offend others.
Life is not a safe as this, that's why it's ironic. Because you have to make things dangerous so people feel comfortable with you and know what you truly stand for.
Brought a tear to my eye. Only over-thinkers can relate to this. What a video. Thank you
❤
I think nearly everyone can relate to this!
Once, I had friends. We laughed, we shared moments, but gradually things changed. I was born into a vegetarian family, raised with values that shaped my choices-no drugs, no drinking. I found joy in simple pleasures, content with who I was.
But my friends didn’t understand. They pushed me to try things I wasn’t comfortable with. They called me boring, mocked my choices. It hurt. So, I distanced myself. At first, solitude was daunting. I missed the camaraderie, the laughter.
Yet, in that solitude, I discovered a newfound strength. I rebuilt my relationship with myself. I embraced my values, held onto my beliefs. It wasn’t easy, but I persevered.
Now, I stand tall, stronger than ever. I’ve cultivated a deep bond with myself, finding peace and happiness within. Life tested me, and I emerged resilient. I cherish this journey, grateful for the opportunity to define my own path.
Today, I radiate positivity and kindness. I’ve learned to be humble, to appreciate the beauty in every moment. My story isn’t about loneliness; it’s about growth, self-discovery, and the courage to live authentically.
@manjotsingh Your family sounds amazing and I am quite happy for you that you grew up in such a loving environment. Your friends may have been doing things that you did not want to do and at a very young age, you declined. That took such strength on your part. I would love to like solitude like you, but that is not me.
Fuck yeah keep at it , everyone should try to strive to achieve what you have acquired, I know how comforting that Peace within the inner world is.
@@DonnaGibbs-b6o hey I know that you are so sad and I know that your spirit is just craving to have you aware of it , so pay attention to what your feeling and sit with it and you'll find bliss within your own self because that will be gone and your presence of just being is enough, that's what God just told me to tell you but if none of it resonates within you then just take what clicks or what ever gives you those ah ha moments and what doesn't disregard because only you and you alone know what's best for you and what's for you, anyway I hope you have a day that only you can make happen
Thank you for sharing. Wise words.
I'm not perfect but my life had changed watching your videos and I'm proud of myself ❤🎉 thank you sir
Amazing to hear! Congrats on your progress so far! 🙌
Me too 👌
I've finished my therapy recently and it's really all about remembering who you are.
Julian, you were right 💜
Wow, I so deeply empathize with Martina. She's wonderful. I cried with her, really. When she said :"I'm very bad at self-discipline", my first reaction was "Me too!". And my second thought was:" Actually I have a perfect self-discipline. I disciplined myself to contempt myself, my skills and to believe I am worthless." When she said she's lazy...... oh yeah, I believe she was told so, since she was born. TRULY lazy people never accuse themselves of being lazy. They celebrate that fault.
I was a tutor of "helpless cases of talentless, lazy students". And you know what? Except of one who was really lazy, the rest was not. They were neglected, lonely, unseen and unheard by their parents. I made a deal with them - we will learn our stuff, and then you can talk with me whatever you want to talk about. And guess what? All those "stupid hopeless cases" graduated from school, with great results. The "worst case" passed a final exam so well, that all the teachers were shocked. And those teens were incredibly motivated to learn, work, achieve more. ONLY by being accepted, treated with kindness, curiosity and respect.
This girl doesn't have a problem with laziness and self-discipline at all. She just doesn't feel loved for who she is. Once she'll be loved like that, she's ll be unstoppable. I saw that happening in real life.
does it mean she needs to be loved by someone else to be fully herself? that might never happen. or do you think she will e a le to love herself enough?
@@nanameta5356we can only get so far on our own. Our abuse happened in relationship, and a lot of healing happens from someone holding space for our pain.
Bruh, Martina must be exhausted after that, great work!
It's Martyna
"I care about you but don't care what you think about me." I don't know why this never crossed my mind.
Bro you're making such a positive difference in the world-thanks for your efforrs man 🙏
You're so welcome! I'm glad this resonates! 🙏
I think the difficult part is finding what to fill the void with. When you stop letting approval from other people run your life, you have to take responsibility for giving yourself that approval. This is difficult when you're not used to thinking positive things about yourself or inferring positive things about yourself from the world esp when your beliefs about what is good and what is important are also not conducive to you being satisfied with where/who you are right now (and not your own). I'm currently in this process - trying the find ways to accept the things I felt I could not and also rewrite the beliefs I have. One example is that I think I look and probably appear very young and childlike (rather than masculine) and this makes me think I'll be less attractive to women. Even though I know it (my appearance) is something I must accept since I can't do much to change it, the actual doing of accepting something like this is very challenging and will probably take a great deal of time and commitment given that I either need to change my beliefs about what is attractive, whether I am attractive, or whether it even matters at all if I'm attractive or not...all I know is repeatedly staring at myself in the mirror doesn't change the thought I have that I do look very youthful.
When I reflect on these things, I realise deep down this is still me wanting approval from other people in a more subtle way (being attractive garners more approval). After all, approval (or lack thereof) from others gives us feedback. If we do something unattractive (e.g., pick our nose) we can learn from others that we need to change that behaviour. Whilst this is good, the trap is wanting to change every aspect of yourself and using that as a motivation to be happy rather than being content with who/where you are. On what basis, should we be happy just as we are when there's plenty we need to change? That's what I'm grappling with right now.
Julien's advice on letting go definitely helps. I've also found dissociating yourself from the you you are struggling to accept helps too (you are the internal controller/observer but the external self is not under your control and does things you don't mean). Imagine the you is actually a friend or some other person external to you. You like them despite their appearance don't you? Even if you don't, you still acknowledge and respect them. Why can't we do that for ourselves?
Amazing comment !!
Your thoughts here are great, I feel like you truly understand these concepts and have valuable input! Intelligence is even more important than looks in a long term relationship. Also, I think the belief to change is "what is attractive." Every single person in the world is attractive to somebody. Of course there is a spectrum of traditional attractiveness, but just looking youthful does not detract from that. If you have good hygiene, dress well, have a nice haircut, and stay in relative shape, you're already more attractive than a LOT of men (plus it's good for your health and self esteem!). So focus on those things, the things that ARE easy to change. Present yourself with your social skills, intelligence, and ideas. Humor and success are also possible to improve upon. I PROMISE you that all these things and confidence literally make men more PHYSICALLY attractive to women. For real. I can be attracted to a wide range of looks if I like the "vibe and energy" he gives off, and the way he talks to me.
All this to say, looking youthful is not inherently bad either - many women prefer it! Have you seen the explosion in kpop in recent years? Do they look youthful/less masculine to you? Same with a lot of the popular social media stars. It's all relative, but looking youthful is not a top reason for someone to not be attractive to a wide audience. But you have the right idea already that looks are just another way to care what people think about us. You're correct that it's normal to an extent, like learning not to pick our nose. If you choose to stay in shape, dress well, etc for yourself as well as to improve your appearance, there is nothing wrong with that either! Taking care of yourself is a form of self esteem - you deserve to look how you want to look with what you can change, and you have the discipline to go out and do it.
Lots of love and healing for that brave heart woman ❤
The woman at 11 minutes got me good. Crying and praying for her. She's so pure and maaaaaan.... I wish her all the best, TRULY. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for this. I have lived my life trying to do the right thing but instead have failed. I have taken the ‘easy option’ instead of pushing through difficulty and yet the last few years have been the most difficult of my life. I’ve had a mid life crisis I guess it could be seen as and some of that arises from caring too much what others have thought both in the past and still today. I’ve been working on learning about myself, pushing to be better and it’s only thanks to your work and others like you, provided for free here, that help my self work and hopefully lead me towards being in a better place. Thank you for providing this support for free to so many of us that need this. It is very much appreciated.
Julien is such a gift to all of us!
Wow… I don’t think I EVER sat through an entire 40 minute UA-cam video before… until now. Amazing!
I aspire to be more like you, Julien. I just turned 30 and still struggle with interpersonal skills. Really frustrated with myself for letting anxiety hold me back throughout my 20s. Your content really helps. Anyway, congrats on your success brother. You deserve it.
good job to the woman upstage. it takes REAL courage to be vulnerable and people respect that. I respect that deeply. people who are vulnerable and ask for help are those who GET BACK UP
It's so real, so many times I just think wtf is my life where I can't think and move freely how I want because I care too much what others think and don't do the things that I am supposed to do
Most important lesson for most of us watching your channel... Care for you but not your opinions.... Wow what an insight
We are a product of what we learned growing up. I've been told I need to heal my inner child and I wish I knew how to do that.
I LOVE YOU JULIEN YOU'RE SAVING MY LIFE
My issue is that I’m happy with myself, my appearance, I’m a good person, emotionally stable, in a relationship but it’s other people that put me down about my appearance, and try to make me feel insecure etc. and this takes up all my time mentally, going over and over what people have said to me to put me down. I feel I need therapy to help me deal with other people who actually need therapy!!! It’s consuming my life.
Exactly!! So basically the negativity has affected your countenance. We have to learn by practicing to still speak loud and clear and keep being ourselves even if we feel the negativity.
You go girl..thanks for the vulnerability.
I love these videos, seeing real emotion and seeing people get real advice that builds them up in their own power, as opposed to enforcing their feelings of lack or doubt about themselves.
You're doing transformative work! It feels so satisfying to see genuine emotion being evoked - the barriers of one's limiting having their foundations rocked.
how you got yourself that level of confidence without watching your videos???
Fair question 😂
Lolll
Hahaha
You are amazing! I've been learning so much through your videos.
When she said, I don’t know how to value all the good things about me… that’s everything. I think this is what most people feel unless you have NPD
Well said.
Amazing display of courage and vulnerability, Martina... ❤️
Well if I can say something it’s that I think she had a really efficient way to express herself, I mean, her choice of words, the way she tried to elaborate, I liked that.
I'm doing my PhD and a part time masters degree and feel lazy all the time. I've learned not to beat myself up about it but I wish I could be 100% happy with my work.
Thank you for these videos. I wish I had found you years ago but now is good too. I am at a major life change, starting a full time school at 46 to better my life and your videos have been incredible. Especially the one about dabblers. I'm not even there at those events but your message is powerful enough to feel like a slap or two in my face. Thank you.
Tell him to F off!!! Had enough. Done with it…so done with reacting to my negative emotions. Angry an understatement. My mind is either helping or is it hindering? If hindering STOP IT…! Then visualise your goals and tell yourself you love yourself and get taking action! ❤
If no one understands you, you could try to understand yourself
Yes! You ALWAYS have "you" 🙏
Changing you core believes and letting go is the key
Wow I don't think I've ever gotten angry at myself just the grief and fear
Martina is HSP. Real empath. Don't give up on yourself. I feel with you in everything and i feel you❤️🍀 everything will be fine. Please study, educate yourself agains dark triad people and put your love in yourself and start to build the most important relationship - with yourself. Don't let people to use you anymore too. You are a gem 🦄☀️☕
The best video I have seen in a very long time. Thank you
This is extremely powerful Julian! Thank you so much🙏 I'm going to add this to my morning motivation album and rewatch it
I love this!!!
Thank you so much
Omg this just got to me. Thank you Julien for shedding light on things I never knew. But one thing I find difficult to understand is how can you not care about how someone thinks of you and if that someone is somebody you love and care about? For example I love my family members, thus I care what they think of me, no? I understand that you shouldn’t care with strangers and people that are not close to you.
Every video is having something that helping me every time l questioning my lself and want to give up in self growth.Thanks a lot💌
Thats a beautiful video. I havent seen Lord of the Rings, but it reminded me of the movie Harry Potter 5, which begins to show a lot about Voldemort being able to acess Harry’s mind and influence it. He gets many nightmares, including people getting attacked by the snake Nagini, and he doesnt know whats true anymore. At that point Harry wakes up in fear, sweating, alarming the professors about the attack, and interestingly enough, he shout in anger: “Look at me! Whats happening to me?”. Then Snape is assigned to teach Harry how to protect himself from his own mind and thoughts. That’s fascinating to me. Thanks for the video!
iv been watching these videos and trying to apply it when i go into the outside world...
Solid man, how's it been going?
Nice physique btw
@@shakthivel5602 good compliment!
@@Kingsley_Shat Thanks!
Don't know if it's really you who reads the comments Julien but just wanted to say thanks. Today, I tried the assertiveness tip you gave to her and it has worked. Was not easy but remembered you said it will be sneaky to survive so still said "NO I DON'T CARE SHUT UP".
I think why we are caring what others think is they are a mirror how we are perceived. I don't think we could and should stop caring completely. But I agree we should care less. Other people think less about us as we think they do.
This channel is life-changing 👌🏾Ty for your work
Apppathy
Grief
Fear
Anger
Courage
Desire
Purpose
Love
brave soul
This woman is so amazing and so brave she’s an inspiration much love to this girl. So many great things are on the way for her 💪🏼⚡️🩵
Beautiful.
She’s so gorgeous
*Simple yet powerful ideas are always the best* 😀
This is my favorite channel on UA-cam. Seriously amazing content
It wasn’t David versus Goliath, it was a pendulum
Eternally swaying from the dark to the light
And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it casts
It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance
And like a dance, the more rigid I became, the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps, the more I struggled
So I got older
And I learned to relax, and I learned to soften, and that dance got easier
It is this eternal dance that separates human beings from angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings
-Ren from the song "Hi Ren"
How can you sit there and listen to them so carefully without judging? It is something someone can accomplish but I have never met a person who can really just sit there and listen.
You somehow can make jokes, laugh and do stuff like that but when it's time for them to open up about something related to them, you completely focus on them and only them and listen to them carefully without judging.
Sorry for writing a comment that big😅
I am bad at self discipline and keeping in touch too girl
Thank you ❤❤❤
robin williams not will smith lmao
🙃
I want you to know that I watch you from Argentina, and I wish you came here some time
Amazing video...❤
Thank you!
This is the stuff I need so I can break free in my newish job where I run around like an injured mouse all of the time lol
Hi Julien brother thank you 🎀❤️
Man, It was Hard and Scary for Me 30 Years ago, but I Learned that If I can't get Mad at Myself then I have No Right to get Angry about anything else. I LOVE Your Approach in Teaching Others. 😎💪
I’m hooked
How about when you hear someone talking negatively about you and not being so quick to get defensive.
Thank you for this.❤
It was truly amazing 👍👍👍
This video is so good. I have exactly the same as her. I am so tired of it!
It was so helpful ❤ thank you ❤❤❤❤
We are almost there most people are just not aware yet and that's okay they'll get there in due time it's their responsibility and I am mine
Hi julien i remember you post about body pain trauma. And one of the ways to relase trauma is to feel. For example being shirtless so that you can feel yourself where can i find that video? Thank you julie. It would greatly help me.
Beautiful artwork Julien! ❤
Thank you so much for sharing that
She's so lucky
My heart is beating already
Look strength being win
Men you’re jacket go crazy bra Jules 🎉
what a breakthrough
@JulienHimself It seems like what we all chase is not approval, but the favourable treatment and effortless connection and vibe that comes when someone approves of us. That is deeply essential for our survival right?
Technically yes, but what Julien is talking about is a little bit different. @staypositivenomatterwhat4383 .
I mean yes, we're looking for effortless connection, but there again with the behaviour described " caring " of what others think, the connection you're aiming for isn't effortless. With that I don't mean you shouldn't make efforts, but effortless connection has to do with authenticity. By " caring " of what other people think of you and changing your behaviour accordingly you're giving up that authenticity, your connection stops being effortless and you start attaching your self worth to other peoples beliefs about you. Because what happens if you change according what someone " thinks " of you is, that you give them power over you. You are basically telling your subconscious mind " I'm not suitable for that person the way I am, I need to change " . This will feel like you are not enough, as if you are lacking.
Why can't you be together with someone EXACTLY the way you are? Otherwise you will always change and be hypervigilant and anxious because the thought arises that " you're not enough" or that " they are not gonna like me " but the thing is, that in this world love SHOULD be effortless meaning, if someone is meant for you they will want to stay. You will decide who you are and you will act like your best version and they will stay. But you have to be your best version without caring of others opinions, that would make you inauthentic again. You have to put yourself in a room, with clothes that you picked, with a mood that you picked and accepting the things that you can't control about yourself like your face and know " I am presenting my best version. I am enough. I am loveable. The right people will find me. "
If you truely believe those things about yourself, the desire to be liked will vanish anyways, just as it should. Because you as you are already think you are likeable
Thank u for upload so much content here ❤
how can I let go, after "years"? how can I do it effectively.
This is so inspiring ❤
People want to feel accepted loved … and know that they mean something to someone.
They want to be approved of ….
dang this went deep, i love 🤗
The fact he mentioned bill gates in the way he did was awesome. Much respect all around though i love it
I’ve been thinking how confident you acually are if you’ve only been told (I mean by Julien) to say it out loud because that’s how you become more authentic and of course confident. Isn’t it some kind of conformity constraint too? In my opinion this whole “say it out as loud as u can” think COULD definitely work, but only if that was your intention. As far as I can see, that’s not the common case on stage with Julien 😊 Though they should definitely expect a bit of shouting when they go on stage, so… actually, maybe that’s their intention, only buried deep inside 😅
That was SO COOL OMGGG
I am interested in online coaching
I can honestly relate to the beautiful foreign woman with an accent. It takes guts to admit you struggle with laziness like a lot of us do
This is so great.❤❤❤
Such important work. 🚀
🙌🙌🧿🌚🌝🌟☮
the guy in the beginning looks like junior julien :D
Being codependent or having codependent tendencies can be a part of this too.
Shes too unique n bubbly
Hello There!🙌🏼
Hey! 👋