Shunned Amish Woman interview-Mary
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- Опубліковано 1 лют 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Mary, a woman who was shunned by her Amish community now living in Colorado.
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“You want to keep knitting” “It’s CROCHET”
Every crocheter just fist bumped the air 😁
Haha agree
lol yes 😂😂😂 I was like markkkk noooo
Yeeeesssss
Knitters as well❤
"Knittas stick together" 😂
I love the look she gave him too. I love her. Please bring her back for an update.
This is my friend Mary and I’m so very proud of her!!! I’m so glad she is speaking and educating us.
Please tell Mary how much I appreciated her voice and story. Love and Light to her.
Tell mary she is SO brave, i am sitting in denmark, listening to her story, and learning so much🙏
She is amazing 💖💖🌸🌼 A true inspiration 🙌 Sending my solidarity and gratitude to her from NYC ✨✨✨✨
How lovely it must be to have this beautiful soul Mary for a friend.
This lady's strength and courage is awe inspiring!
What strikes me deeply is Mary's body language and tone of voice. When she's talking about her family and Amish cultures and experiences, she's very soft-spoken and words chosen carefully and gently rocking her body. However, when she started talking about coming out and especially her dress that she made, her light shines. Physically, she sits taller, her face is light and happy, and her tone is full of joy and excitement to show what she made. I was abused as a child, and my mother was abused far worse than me when she was a child. My mother rocks herself that way, too. These things can be very difficult to talk about. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story.
Sending love to you and your mother.
May you both find healing and peace.
Lots of strength and love, shine your light ❤
Man, at 27:00 she caught another gear, lol.
well yeah its pretty easy to tell when shes being dishonest or like picking and choosing what she wants attention for idk her eyes tell the story of someone that doesn't interact with truth very well
@funny2xUS
Hey look, I found the psychic who thinks they know what people are thinking.
Youre the type of person who says someone who was brutally sexually assaulted probably 'wanted it' because they arent showing the exact body language you think someone in that situation should have.
People react to abuse and traumatic experiences in different ways
You are obviously a judgemental person whos had a pretty good life and has never known anyone who has suffered severe trauma.
My Dad was the sheriff in Vernon County Wisconsin when this went down. I just showed my Dad this video and he would love to talk to you, Mary. He is so proud of you and how much you've grown. Reach out if you feel comfortable. He fought so hard for you
Inherently Inherently Inherently
And for what? Some kind of space lesbian?
@@DestroyerOfEvil_69 It is deeply upsetting that you could have so much hatred in your heart for a complete stranger you don't even know. This woman has fought and earned the right to dress and look however she wants, especially as a victim of a culture that fights to keep their women submissive, obedient, and "plain." Your words are ugly and immature. Do better.
You may consider yourself a destroyer of evil, but you're only an enforcer and encourager of evil. Not to understand the overwhelming evil of abusing totally helpless, totally dependent on adults children is a grave moral failure. I hope that you will gather the strength to make the decision to open your mind enough to mature, and allow for wisdom and growth, it will benefit you in the first place.@@DestroyerOfEvil_69
@@DestroyerOfEvil_69yea, only thing worth than child sexual abuse is dressing unusual or being gay…ya loon
"people who are committing suicide... or, perhaps that's not quite the right way to say that, maybe they're dying /from/ suicide because OF the lack of access to appropriate resources" that was a such a profound correction she decided to put in. It really resonated with me as someone who has tried to take my own life, it's a perspective shift I've never seen anyone make before, it's a powerfully helpful way of broaching the topic of suicide.
Yes!!
Deeply insightful.
Thank you for this comment
I’ve heard people use the expression “he/she died from depression” instead of using the word suicide, and that has also help me a lot to gain a different perspective about my trauma and others, we struggle with a disease and without the proper resources, as she said, is incredible hard to overcome
Agreed!
The way this woman walks through all these scenarios and ideas is so leveled headed. It makes my heart happy because it is very obvious that she has gone through a LONGGG road of healing, learning, and understanding. My heart goes out to her.
Mark. Might be the single most compelling interview you've done. The use of color, the use of silence and pauses and just letting her talk with little intervention. A riveting story and experience .Absolutely amazing stuff here.
A work of art.
💯❗
Bravo Beautifully Done👏🏿
Yes, the best.
Absolutely agreed. Strikingly eloquent, in it's brevity.
Shes a perfect example of how soft spoken people can have the loudest voices ❤ i love her
This was fantastic. Her entire demenor changed when she said, "I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in color." She became animated and engaging. I felt included in conversation with her. How powerful!
Some might imply that adversity in her youth is what defined her as an adult. That would be a mistake.
@amaure216 I loved that part! She burst into bloom. It made me so happy!
@@violetxoxoxme too! I’m so proud of her and in awe of her. Warrior.
People who are desperate to affect an appearance of excessive colour and extravagance generally betray a feeling of insecurity, emptiness and rottenness on the inside.
That dress is the most incredible act of rebellion and joy I have ever seen. Truly inspiring.
💯 I teared up as she described her dress. Such freedom in making this dress!!
Her dress is gorgeous.
And her hair!
The grin she had when explaining the stitching. So much purpose put into every detail. Love it.
Yes! I agree, inspiring.
Thank you Mark for allowing her silences and not immediately jumping in with questions. You gave her the space and time she needed. ❤
I agree 💯
An intelligent, experienced, compassionate interviewer. ❤
Mark did an excellent job of allowing her to express herself and tell her story.
Mark's style of letting people talk and speak their story in their way uninterrupted is great. Certainly my favorite style. If you let people talk ... they will tell you their truth.
This is the way to interview a person on a serious subject like this.
Ask a few questions, let them answer in their own words and time.
She's very calm when she speaks. She's beautiful and I love her dress. It was good listening to her story. Very informative.
As a male Mennonite whose grandfather was shunned when he was a barefoot toddler, I was moved to tears by this interview. Shunning does damage generations deep, let me tell you. To fight back against your abusers within an isolated community that shuns you and anyone who associates with you… This woman is a warrior.
I am sorry for the abuse and pain that you have survived, Mary. There is a world of loving people out there for you, just filter for values wherever you go and don’t ever stop embracing your heritage. There are ‘cultural antibaptists’ floating around too, it’s just damn hard to find each other.
Hi Mary, good to know you are now safe. Thank you for enlightening englishers.
I'm sort of part of Michigan community. Very arbitrary, vague and verbal, even unspoken expectations/ordinance @ district.
I've seen on just the subject of visual art, many newcomers to our are are offended by the liberty in our area to paint and draw. Old order Amish from Byrne Indiana feel that drawing is verboten!!!
Hi there, I am wondering about some Mennonite people, a few families that were in a documentary about how they decided to pack up one day, and leave America to go to some jungle in like Cuba or Venezuela I'm not sure, maybe someplace in Asia where they had bought land, but they had to clear the trees to be able to build it was so undeveloped and isolated. This really blew me away because they looked like the last people who would ever be willing to take on such drastic and difficult all encompassing life changes, let alone they wanted to do it, they were not forced . But to go from what looked to me a very outlined and habitual life of routine to an uncertain surprised filled life of risk & chance. Like they were last people on earth I'd expect to find were I trekking threw that jungle . So is this something Mennonite people all do? Like a way to spread their religion to new places? Or do they usually stick within their established communities all their lives ? And have you heard about them within your community, some sort of update on Mennonite activities outside the states? This was the 1st of two part documentary and I never did get to see the 2nd and it would be so fantastic to learn they are thriving and healthy & to see their progress. I think about these people often and pray they are all well & alive.
are you jewish?
Shunned when he was a toddler?
She is being punished for stopping abuse. Wow 🤯
I’m sorry to say I’m cynical enough that I’m not even surprised. When *havent* victims been blamed and shamed thru history? Emphasis on HISstory.
Because she is a woman. All women are punished for asking for their equal rights, freedoms, safety throughout the world. Mary is a voice for millions of women.
@@edvh88Absolutely.
@@edvh88
Why is most women's s*xual fantasy r*pe?
The way you write "history" has nothing to do with males, btw. It's all in your head - like that fantasy.
You know how I know? I'm male. And most of us wouldn't ever r*pe a woman, because we had good mothers.
Does it matter though? Of course not. You'd never mention the skincolor of the perp, because you are "tolerant" enough to be r*ped by someone 2 shades darker than you.
What? Crime stats suddenly disappear in your "grey vision"?
This is common practice in all cultures if you pay attention. ❤
Omgggg this is my ex coworker she is such a BEAUTIFUL PERSON I AM SO PROUD OF U MARY❤️❤️
Mary you're God belief?
You.
Stop being lazy.
@@OutWestRedDirt you stop 🛑 being a demon
@@OutWestRedDirtdamn, what a sad and lonely life if that's what you thought of to this beautiful message about someone she knew.
@@OutWestRedDirtif you love the amish so much get off the internet and go live with them
It is SO COOL that she literally reclaimed her heritage in her own individual way. She is so inspiring.
Yes. This. ☝️💯🎯👍
Mary Byler rocks.
I just hope, that she will get a job and a place to live.
Heritage means you are from something, meaning some aspect of you participates in something. That being the case, how can you do heritage "in your own individual way"? Heritage isn't individual
ok, *interpret their heritage. happy? Lol how unnecessary comment.@@manlikeJoe1010
and also heritage can be anything. Like cultural heritage can be a football pitch. I've studied heritage studies on Master's level so yeah. I have an exam in that.@@manlikeJoe1010
Reporting abuse is VERY DANGEROUS. I relate. I've feared for my life and run for it hiding in shelters wondering if a stalker would kill me. It wasn't Amish... I escaped extremist religious groups as well and neighborhood popular opinion rapists ... 21years later I am still SUFFERING from. IT. The psychic trauma is so much worse than words can describe.
Love your pretty dress! Very unique!
Strong woman!
Luv u!
Hope you stay safe and strong, sending you all the best wishes 💜
I was raised in a Mennonite community and as a young male encountered the edges of sexual abuse. As I am now an old man, I can reflect on the myriad ways in which the lives of men and women in the Annabaptist communities get distorted and perverted, leaving individuals trying to figure out who they are and how to live a meaningful life. I left the church at age 18 and never returned - well, except that I entered a formal Zen Buddhist practice in 2001. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
‘I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in colour!’ This beautiful person has inspired me today. Thank you, Mary.
Just don't let it lead you to the low hot place. Just because Mary may have experienced injustice doesn't mean jumping from the true center group, the bible / love, over to the left or the right side is the answer.
@@TheVirginGaryLovingDemocrats that is the exact opposite of what the OP was saying. And yes it should lead anyone astray when you realize religion and those stupid books are just tools of men to control the masses. Selling hope to the hopeless.
This was also the exact moment in the video when I felt the need to pause and comment. Mary is an unbelievably strong and inspiring person.
@@blueberreez?
agreed, that was a refreshing comment.. when i think armish people .. i think of god fearing people / christians / farmers who live off the land .. it just goes to show - we can find creeps anywhere we go in this world .. god bless mary hope all is well & peace onto you all
Her use of language is so refreshingly precise
English language is racist tho... along with math!
@@jaystat6545English is a bastard language. Math is the language of the Gods. Math is the only thing that is UNIVERSAL!
@@jaystat6545What? Who TF said that? You? 😂
I agree, she is a great speaker and relatable.
Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!@@sugaredviolets2085
I’ve never heard someone speak so softly and so loud at the same time. What a beautiful and intelligent warrior this woman is! One of my favorite interviews so far!! Thank you, Mary! We see you, we hear you, we support you! 🩷
She's a survivor ❤
Mary is one strong woman. Her meditative crocheting, her gentle speech, her rising above a repressive culture. She is courageous.
Can you imagine walking away from the only life you ever knew? Your family,community,church..your entire world! Mary is so brave,refusing to be controlled and abused. It's an honor to listen to this remarkable woman. Being from Pa. amish country myself I promise you none of this was easy for her
“Religious language around crimes affects how we talk about it.” I really appreciate that sentiment. It was healing.
The whitewashing is real.
🙏 💗
This is why I detest the word “r*pey”. As in, “He’s kinda “ra*ey”.
What does that mean
@@paidovi4717 I imagine it means religious people can be overbearing, like seems to happen in any group that has lots of power over others. All that seems to do is cause people to overcompensate to the other side. Notice how the lady here basically joined the opposition.
"I made a commitment i was going to live my life out loud and in color" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible, intelligent, strong and brave woman she is. She deserves so much happiness and peace. This is an incredible interview.❤️
Crocheting really is living whacky 🤪🤣
Agreed, Exactly my thoughts on this interview. Incredible woman.
The bonnet gets to me. 😢
The way she lit up though! So beautifully!❤
Why? Why is it brave to live loud and in color and not just a choice among many choices?
I followed this story , I’m from Indiana and my wife and I taxi the Amish and believe me you can have an Amish girl from a family in a city 200 miles away that have never met one another and there kids look identical ! This lady went thru hell and back and all over again and these people knew the truth and knew that her own brothers were as guilty as sin but thru the court proceedings they actually bused in hundreds of Amish to back the guilty brothers . Filled the entire court room ! The judge felt so bad for her that he all but ripped the family , brothers, and people in the court room about how they backed those boys or men and had zero support for her ! Buss loads ! Sick that’s all I can say just sick . You have our support and keep you positive attitude stand strong and she isn’t letting them get her down ! And that’s way she didn’t elaborate on what they did to her ! Good job !
I could listen to her talk for hours she has a very soothing voice
WOW! She is powerful. Her story is NOT an Amish story; it is a human story, and a woman's story, period.
Well said, even tho it's the Amish who need to be held accountable
That is very well said. Shame and silence are pervasive among almost every culture in the world...where dominance by a few over many who are considered marginal...women and children...face degradation and threat to life everyday.
Amen ❤🎉
What do you mean by “woman’s story”?
Amen
The shock l got when l started this video and realized she was in glorious technicolor clothing with pink hair, despite paying homage to her cultural modest way of dressing. Her speech is so articulate and her pausing is so profound, it really allows you to listen to her. She's a marvel.
Well said
Totally agree
Absolutely ❤
I originally was just listening through headphones…then I saw her dress. 😊
I’m so in awe by the way she puts her words together.👏 very interesting story.
that black and white headshot 33:59, those eyes... there's a profound sadness in those eyes and even as she explained the horrors forced upon her I can't even fathom a single iota of the strength she has to continue living when your LITERAL ENTIRE world conspires against you in malice. I truly do wish the best for her
She's cosplaying the uniform of her former oppression, because she can, out loud and in rainbow colors with forbidden dimensions and stitchery. How subversive and inspiring! Brilliant subject, brilliant interview!!!
"commiting.... I mean dying FROM suicide" ive NEVER heard anyone put it that way, such compassion! 😢
This was a well rehearsed monolog
@@yonikki?? what makes you think that
@@yonikkii think ur right
Terminology is changing, thankfully, b/c "committing" sounds like they did some criminal act - just insensitive & inappropriate. More commonly used now are expressions such as "Died by suicide" or "died from..." or even "died due to mental illness,"
@@norriskpeverything is politically incorrect nowadays. Why is there such an issue with saying committed suicide. Just because we also use the word committed to state a murder had taken place. Does not mean that word has a negative connotation associated with it. If you look up the word committed it actually has a positive definition. “feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.” Committed has a positive connotation too, like I am in a committed relationship. This word is only trying to imply that an individual was 100% dedicated to performing such an activity(suicide/murder). if you want to kill someone or even kill yourself you have to be in a certain mental space for you to carry out those activities. What other word would be best fit to describe that than committed? Devoted? Nahh, that doesn’t sound right. I have no idea why we as human beings are knit picking terminology we have been using for years. Although I don’t agree with some, I really don’t see the problem with saying committed. All it means is that a person has set their mind and is 100% willing to carry out an action, or has already done so. It truly seizes to amaze me that we are this way.
This girl just knew exactly what to say with almost NO questions
*Woman* She is and adult. Adult female humans aren't children. We aren't *girls*. I'm not coming for you - I just want this subtle and pervasive undercutting of the Feminine to be called out. I want us adult women to collectively no longer tolerate being referred to as children.
*Woman
@@dhvinebeauty the ex Amish woman has Girl power. That girl doesn't read ro me as a diminishing "girl" it is acknowledgement that she didn't get to have a proper girlhood.
From other interviews with her it appears she is acting in one of them. Not for me to decide which one is her true persona.
Woman- girl
Girl- woman
Stop looking for things to comment on.
@@dhvinebeauty
One can learn a lot from this woman not just from her words but to also listen between the lines. The best interview I have seen on this channel by far.
Mary is so well spoken ! I could listen to her for hours. This was not only educational but fascinating as well.
Thank you Mary !! And please come back for a part 2 !
She has been on cults to consensus a few times
“That is my culture. That is my heritage. It’s in me, and I can’t outrun that.” Beautifully said
💯
There are a ton of people who think they can do that, but you can't erase your ethnicity. DNA showed we are heavily Hutterite/Haban on one side. We still don't know the details. We knew the family spoke both German and Czech and had been associated with the aristocracy in Germanic Europe before the failed Germanic revolutions of around 1848. Hutterite religion had been outlawed, but maybe they were still marrying among themselves as "ex"/crypto-hutterites, I I don't know. They had been sought as tutors and administrators by the ruling families because in Europe they were highly educated (one of the founders of Hutterites was a teacher, Lehrer). All across the areas they had lived in Europe the govts and govt-approved churches had demanded they stop "being" Hutterite, and on pain of death, exile, losing all their property, etc they "reconverted" however nothing can erase the DNA. In the US and Canada people decide they're not going to "be" Anabaptist anymore, but you can't erase your DNA. It's more than just a religion, it's an ethnicity even if, like Mary said, you were an atheist, with all the aspects that go into that including gene pool, dialect, and every other facet all the way down to how you think etc. The last thing you can't erase is your genes, but maybe also some things at the farthest down level of the Cultural Iceberg (Google that).
also a false dilemma, epigenetics is one way to circumvent, some medicine plants could help her drop the bodily connection....attachment..
I grew up in a big abusive Mormon family with tons of sexual abuse, and she makes me feel so seen and understood. I feel her. I see her. Thank you for this video. She is very diplomatic and fair. She is genuine and honest. In all her grief, she hasn’t hardened her heart, she’s softened it.
Why is abuse in Mormonism so common?
I grew up in a wonderful Mormon household.
Zero abuse.
two households. @@unitedstatesdale
@@unitedstatesdale Why do you feel the need to comment that? I'm glad you didn't experience abuse, but this just feels like you're trying to undermine the above comment.
I mean, it's hard not to see her. She's got the camera focus throughout the entire interview.
Wow, just wow. This interview moved me so much. This woman is one of the most interesting women I have ever listened to. Thank you, Mark, for allowing her to speak. She is truly fascinating. May God bless her❤
Beautiful soul. Wise, articulate, and giving. Best wishes for a happy life.
After all she suffered, she has chosen to maintain her gentle demeanor. I have so much respect for Mary.
She seems like a pot at the verge of boiling over. I think her 'coolness' is scary.
Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!
@@gregsimmons694 I do pray!
The way she lit up and brightened when talking about her clothing, really warmed my heart. In such a dark, enlightening and sad story, it's good to see that she can still find joy.
She pretty much stopped her crochet from that point forward. Her demeanor completely changed!
I was about to comment that, it was a truly special moment in this super interesting interview. My fav so far.
@@julydanielavillalobos9349, yes 💯 agree. A very eye and heart opening interview to say the least. I wish her well in life.
@@ljunodHer posture changed as well. She went from the tight submissive posture she demonstrated to a more proud upright position. Brilliant interview.
@@ljunod I noticed this too. She didn't need her coping method, she was on a roll!
I was just listening to the video, so it actually shocked me how suddenly strong and upbeat she became.
"Is this a thing where religious language around crimes affects how we think about it, and how we talk about it" She is so insightful! I'm grateful she is free to speak her mind.
This is a wonderful interview. It was so nice to see Mary smile and relax when she spoke about her freedoms of expression. Such a beautiful soul.
the rebellious flip on her traditional dress is so cool. lived-in nonconformity. go you, sista
She also shaved the side of her head. Very cool! 💕
Cosmic Amish….
Yesss it's really nonconformist to dye your hair pink!@
Some of my father's rules were no make up or perfume, and absolutely no noise afyer 7 pm. So these days I do myself up as much as I like, I have piercings and tattoos, I love perfume, and I blast music all evening long. Defiance of the abusers' rules, no matter what they were, is one of the singular joys of freedom. The abuser enjoys exacting complete control, instills deep shame in you for the slightest "mistake", and if you don't put insane levels of value and conformity into those rules, the abuser sniffs out your "rebellion" and will grind you into pulp gleefully. If you don't obey and thank them for stealing your autonomy, there is a very good chance you will not make it out alive. I hope the people that hurt her see her now and it eats them up because they have no power over her anymore. Now it's them, sitting small, and they hate that.
@AmmoGus1 for someone from that kind of community, it's tantamount to running naked down the street. She was raised to avoid attracting any kind of attention to herself and pink hair is shouting look at me.
Only the best interviewers can refrain from interrupting. Well done!
only the best interveiwers can get someone in to such a flow that they don't stop talking for half an hour!
Agree, that space between- the silence- is so incredibly powerful. What a remarkable, resilient person
Excellent interviewing.
Club shay shay
He never says anything!
Much respect for her for speaking the truth about her life. No judgement from this corner of the world.
It's man not God that creates our earthly narrative. I learnt this as a Christian woman. I no longer follow my religion to the letter as I once did. I have my own mind in determining between right and wrong, God and man. Mary has enhanced my understanding my view on so many things. Thank you Mary for sharing your story.
This woman is incredible. Her sense of confidence in every single word she spoke and the power in every single subtle intonation. Her community lost a beautiful soul but we the rest of the world gained one.
She still wear the garb.... they haven't ever lost her.
@@TimTrOn3000she doesn’t always dress like that. Cults to conciousness did an interview with her and she wore regular clothing then. She made this dress this way for a reason
She just came ALIVE when she started speaking about her clothes. What an amazing woman.
I came here to say this too. You can see how happy she is to display her freedom and joy❤
Agreed. She did.
She could write a best-selling autobiography, surely. She's eloquent, interesting in appearance and unique in her history which gives insight to a hidden part of America. I hope she considers it.
another biological clown whom has been unfortunately hindered from manifesting the circus existence that all sub-insect creatures strive for 😢
Was she supposed to come dead? Doofy azz
I am incredibly touched to hear her sad experiences, and just want to send her a huge warm hug and tell her what a brave woman she is. I wish her all the best in the future.Wishing her all the best in life and many warm thoughts from Robin from Denmark.
She could not be more well spoken or elegant. This interview was one of the biggest eye openers I've ever had the privilege of seeing. You go girl!!!!!!!
The thing she said: "[it's] more appropriate to say they're dying /from/ suicide."
This hits way different.
2nd leasing cause if death in the under 18 zone.
LEADING
❤
It does hit different. Makes it sound like someone else did the job, not the person who died
@@takyrica The conditions and environment caused the person to die from suicide. Using the word commit implies that suicide should be viewed as a crime than rather a sickness that can be prevented.
A community shunning victims of sexual assault and spending its time measuring the wrist cuff on women's dresses needs to readjust its priorities desperately. Thank you Mary! 💜
In Islam, they STONE women, who have been raped. Because she is then guilty of infidelity, even though, SHE was assaulted!!
Sharia (Islamic law) demands, that 4 witnesses are found. Those can be bought...
This happens in Iran, Somalia, and Nigeria!
@@howardmighty6764 What are you unto?!
And so do those who collectively judge them. This woman despite all she's gone through was, nonetheless, consistently against collectively judging an entire community.
It's also important to grasp that whether one is Amish on one end of the scale or 'woke,' on the other, it is possible to be overly-rigid and insistent on certain things, and to have misplaced priorities. Human nature is human nature, no matter what one's beliefs are.
Howard. See you at the Gate!
God is watching
This was very beautiful to listen to and watch. The pain and heartache came across so clearly and sharply.
Wow. What a powerful interview. She's a remarkable, truly remarkable human being. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story with us. I could truly listen to her talk for hours on end.
Just wow.
I love the sudden burst of passion when she started talking about the dress after she was so calm and understated
Me too. To watch her come alive was to feel her empowerment alongside her
The only time she stopped crouchaing
Same, she was proud of that dress, and she should be.
I know, that was almost bizarre (and I mean that in the least negative or judgemental way possible)! I was not expecting how strong her change in demeanor was lol
One could really feel her energy and strength. Impressive.
1) I love how colorful her dress and hair are. 2) You can feel how much pain this woman carries. I'm glad she made it through it, and I hope she finds peace and happiness.
Happiness and sadness come and go. I know she will be healing her entire life, but she seems content. And contentment after so much abuse, is a huge burden off the shoulders, and what some people never find because they're always chasing happines.
At first I was like what the hell when I saw her appearence. But after watching her interview, and hearing her explanation for her garments, it completely changed my opinion on it and now I really like her dress sense, now that I understand it. I kinda feel bad about my initial negativity tbh
I know I love her whole aesthetic 😭
Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!
Wow! Just WOW! This was the most powerful interview you have ever had on your channel. A lot of food for thought and statements that encourage soul searching. Thank you Mary for your story. Spoken with such grace and wisdom. Mark, well done!
This was so POWERFUL GOD BLESS YOU MARY 🙏🙏🙏
Former amish.. thank you thank you thank you. For putting the experience into the words i never could
Bless you dear❤
Happy u broke free❤
What an evil woman... they were right to shun her.
For reporting crimes?
@@kwimmsTroll.
@@kwimmsObvious bait
I love how you just let her talk. She's so calm and measured.
I wouldn’t say she seemed calm, you can hear the anxiety in her voice with every word she said
she still kept calm. that is impressive and admirable@@actual______criminal
What an amazing , well spoken woman. I’ve learned a lot watching this.
Cool dress. Thats what made me watch this is the unique outfit. The long amish dress with modern prints and the hair dyed with the bonnet. a definite statement.
You must not have watched the whole video….
She literally said “this is not a bonnet “. Lol
She really carried this interview herself, I forgot it was an interview felt like a monologue 👏👏👏 God bless her 🙏
Same. I felt like I was watching a movie.
God bless you! Jesus saves!
I love how how she said "I chose to live my life in color" very powerful. We should all live like that.
Thank you for taking a step back and allowing her to tell her story.
in watching all of this (I commented at the beginning) you are so eloquent; easily the story could be a memoir but this is enough. thank you so much.
OMG. No idle hands here. Precise, thoughtful, analytical, intense, quiet. Reminds me so much of my paternal grandmother who, along with her family, was shunned by her Mennonite Community because my great grandmother attended the funeral of a Roman Catholic friend. (I'm 84 and my grandmother was born in 1878). Family lived in Western New York. Gram always had her bonnet and plain clothes and actually looked very much like Mary. The repercussions of that shunning still reverberate in my extended family with behavioral and mental health issues. Mary is a brilliant and courageous woman.
You were born in 1984 or you are 84 xx
sounds like you’ve got a fascinating story to share too - you should reach out to Mark & do an interview!
Mennonites do not practice shunning.
I want that dress!
@@beyondthedressingtableI can’t believe u said that, if he was born in 1984 , he’d be 40 not no damn 84 smfh
I've never seen an interview where the one interviewed had so much space to think and process. She wasn't bombarded with questions but gently led. Fasinating.
You might also like Mormon Stories Podcast. It's different, (some interruptions), but they are breathtakingly committed to listening to interviewees' whole story.
Very refreshing!
Bravo Mark
I left a Fundie cult when I was 19. I’m also a CSA survivor. My heart goes out to her. She is such a beautiful spirit-so well spoken, too. Deprogramming is hard. I’m in my mid 40s and I’m still struggling with certain issues resulting from the abuse. I still perform hobbies that I learned growing up, such as baking bread, embroidery, and sewing. It’s comforting in some ways.
I was told that I was ab*sed so I could have a strong testimony. I was told I must have done something to cause it. I never asked for a testimony. I was 8. What did I do to cause anything? I was completely let down by how adults responded when I told them what happened. I understand her pain.
I could listen to her talk for hours. Thank you for sharing your story Mary 🫶🏻
She has such a harrowing voice, yet clearly strong enough to carry the evils she's had to face. Theres no room for pity, just solemn respect.
Nailed it
Agreed
Baloney she loves to hear herself talk
She’s a fake
@robinrobinson8989 Why and how in the world could you say such a thing? Your coldness here is astounding. For what reason would you be unwilling to acknowledge realities of sexual abuse within the Amish communities? Or the prevelance of sexual and other abuse, and religious trauma, within human society at large? These are incredibly sad realities that are occurring at a larger scale than we often are willing to look at and acknowledge, and this unwillingness to see or take action leads to the perpetuation of suffering on a mass scale, for so many vulnerable children, women, and yes also men. How can any human look away, fail to cultivate compassion, and speak and act with indifference, or even hate?
@@kristenscheidter720 I’m in no way denying the reality of sexual abuse among the Amish or anywhere else eg trafficking
And that you can to the conclusion is disturbing to me I think you want your point to come across and so you are so enthralled with this person that you missed MY point
She is a phony and a fake I lived among the Amish for years and there were some that left but they didn’t go punk and they didn’t join the arm and they didn’t keep wearing the cape dress and covering
This woman just likes to hear herself yapping
She’s a psycho
I myself grew up Amish in Northern Indiana. Married Amish. After our 5th child was born we had good reasons to leave the Amish way of life and their interpretations of the Word of God.
Just want to say my heart goes out to Mary. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you the hug of a sister and fellow human being. Although by appearance.. no one would be able to tell that I had been Amish for 32 years … the feeling of having been “Amish” is still very much on the inside.
Mary, the past does not define who YOU really are. You have value and you are loved!!
You from middleberry ?
My grandparents were Pennsylvania Dutch and lived in Goshen, Indiana. Mary is a beautiful soul. Thank you for letting her speak - it was a profound interview.
So is Amish a religion, a culture, or both?
@@kmeeks92987both. Christian based but they have no connection with the outside world. Most of them don’t have electricity.
@@Jaime-he2neI was going to ask the same! Barbra miller is a dress maker in middlebury I have many dresses from her
Honestly one of the best interviews on this channel. I wish her nothing but the best!
This person is incredible. The way she speaks is so thoughtful. Thabk you for sharing.
Her calm tone and vocabulary and the structure of her speech is so amazing intelligent and soothing
I agree like a teacher or something. I don't know but it's truely unique.
I could listen to her all day! Very captivating. 😊
She would do well with a channel of her own, just crocheting and telling stories. Like asmr or whatever
@@autumn3703 or audiobooks!
Watch her interview on Cults to Consciousness 5 months ago completely different persona!
There’s no such thing as “just leave”… it goes way deeper psychologically.
Thank you for bravely speaking up and speaking out.
Of course! It’s truly wrong to say “just leave”. Mary’s reaction to “are you in touch with your family” spoke volumes. Her pained face, her silence, her thoughtful answer. It’s not like these are just casual acquaintances she could up and ditch on a whim when things went sideways. It’s complicated.
Yes like leaving an abusive marriage ... "Just leave". Not that simple!
This is one of the most insightful testimonies I've heard. Thank you for being brave enough to share your truth. And educating us all. I hope you have a blessed rest of your life❤
100% your best upload ever! Thanks for sharing!
She perked up after she came out about being gay. She totally changed. All of a sudden she got louder, prouder, a complete 180.
Most sexually abused people turn gay.
20:40 "I got pregnant "
21:36 "got divorced in germany"
25:30 "relationship fine except for"
25:51 "internal homophobic ideas"
Unfortunately she knows it’s wrong.
More importantly, Jesus saves sinners! God bless us all!
@@dcg590Nah, it's not, she just has to unpack years of people like you trying to convince her and others that it is.
She is a whistle-blower. To be one is to be alone. The consequences are for life. She is brave, but also needs family and community. Hope she finds a place in this world where she feels welcomed and accepted.
I was a whistleblower in the Tibetan Buddhist community and was shunned, defamed and harassed. Truly it is lonely and forever.
You are so brave to use your voice!
Are there any articles etc u could link?
Mary, you are so refreshingly wise. Thank you. "Where do you stand on the issue of combatting abuse? What actions have you taken to prevent this from happening? Are you part of the problem or part of the solution? Choose wisely. You can't be both."
What an amazing woman! brave and compassionate in the face of the worst of adversities, this kind of people are who make the world richer, thank you!
Wonderful interview. She’s not angry at the world. She’s angry at the people who deserve her anger for the despicable things that were allowed in what could have been a nurturing environment.
typical lefty, your anger is the only acceptable anger, right ?
@@ericb6048 So, does that make you a "typical righty"? Since when does "anger" have a political ideology behind it?
@dangelo1369 when it's aimed in a particular fashion or way.
@@nicolekb12not with that attitude
@@ericb6048who let grandpa sneak his ipad into the nursing home? 🙄
I loved it when she corrected herself by saying people are dying from suicide.....so poignant and well put. I loved this interview. And I also loved how she made her dress for herself. Good for you my dear.
I'm so sorry for what you experienced. You are brilliant, beautiful, and a warrior survivor. Thank you for sharing your story and for making me stronger and smarter. 💕🙏
Amazing interview on sooooo many levels. Just the sound of the crocheting in the 'silent' sections is mesmerizing... Great job! Bless her!
I love her. Absolutely respect her. I'm a therapist and for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to open a private practice that assists Amish/Anabaptist youth and adolescents.
More of her please!
I am also a mental health counselor interested in this!
@@rachelklenk4850Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!
@@rachelklenk4850 I actually was in communication in 2010-ish with the author Saloma Furlong who is also ex-Amish and experienced abuse within her Amish community in Ohio. She has worked with Dr. Donald Kraybill who has done extensive work with the Amish communities. I wanted to open a practice that assists youths and adolescents in these communities that have suffered abuse and have decided to leave. I suggest looking up Saloma and Dr. Kraybill and getting more information.
She could teach so many girls and women from different walks of life because so many have the same experiences but different stories. Religious rule by men alone has very serious effects upon women.
I have no idea how she completed the entire interview without dropping a single tear. Thank you for sharing your humanity
She’s cried a lifetime of tears…..until she just stops. You recognize that they won’t change anything. SHE had to get up and CHANGE her circumstances…..and she did! 👏👏👏👏👏
Luke 6:22-23
Hence the crocheting. It probably soothes her.
Or stitch.
it appeared that she came close a couple of times.
What a wonderful interview. You did great taking your time with the questions and giving proper silence to let her collect her thoughts and answer. Very brave woman to talk about all the horrors of growing up the way you did. I'm so sorry to hear the aftermath was so bad, to have all your family shun you for speaking the truth. You seem like a wonderful person to have as a friend. Also the shoes. I absolutely love the shoes.
I’ve never been SA’d but I’ve had other forms of abuse and I feel like she would be wonderful to talk to. So calm and articulate and intelligent
So many visual signs of distress. The constant soothing rocking, the unraveling of the yarn. The quivering of her voice. Inherently.
She must have used that word about 50 times. At least.
Inheritantly!
It was very clear many times, just how difficult the interview was. The crochet helps I think.
Yes, absolutely. As a crocheter, I'm pretty sure her tension has gone into her crocheted project. If you're tense while crocheting, your work has very tight stitches and it's very stiff. I'm not dogging her. I'm mostly in love with her gentle and precise speech and I hope the very best for her. 💙🥺✌🏽
Don't add your diagnosis of her movements as a way of seeing her as being stressful. She is just being herself. Any movements she is making are just part of her being herself telling her story and not being afraid to speak out.
Sending 12 men sends a clear message… what we’re dealing with here is an ear drum busting whistle blower who’s not a-scared of religious gang thugs, nor the devil before daylight . Much gratitude for the big bravery! CROTHET ON, SISTER!! You rock.
She’ll answer for this narcissistic betrayal
@@DanielCardin_ATX There are no gods. Only horrible people that use superstition to control others.
@@DanielCardin_ATX Betrayal of the people abusing children you mean? Surely you are not for allowing same…?
@@DanielCardin_ATX Please explain how she’s narcissistic? By not tolerating abuse? By embracing her autonomy? By using her own significant god-given brain to choose how she wishes to live her own precious life? To create a life for herself that celebrates who she is and allows her to bring her best self to the world?
@@nismo2070 I respect your view. Mine is that God is Love, and if we’re on the right path in our lives, no one will get controlled or abused or hurt.
Mary is elegant, intelligent, and very well spoken. 🎉
Awesome interview, she's brilliant, mad respect! Love the way you handled this, Mark 👌🏼🏆
The way she described her life, tribulations, grief, sadness, Self discovery, self acceptance, the sheer joy she took in describing her dress and her bonnet in such a low key rebellious way, and that sigh at the very end… All of it, it just got me. Deeply. Profoundly. She touched my heart. ❤️
“It’s not a bonnet” (in her voice of course)
I♥️💛💚💙💜 the dress!
She looks so sad
she would let her hair down at an Experimental Drum & Bass event if she could use Über to get to whatever warehouse it was thrown in You can always tell the type who go into dance trances by their vibe. She got a repressed "shakeit to the beat " thing goin' on & some wildin' would benefit her,imho
@@GinaFerraro I stand corrected, and love your comment. I can hear her saying that to me in her gentle, somewhat stern, matter of fact voice and she brings me joy telling me so.
I love that Mary is crocheting while talking about her life. Years ago, my therapist encouraged me to bring my quilting to sessions so I had something to do with my hands and eyes while we talked. The things that were so hard spilled out while doing my handwork.
That’s a great idea!! I never know what to do with my hands and start sweating while talking to my therapist
@debmule I always have something in my hands I’m “working on” with my therapist too. I like that she understands and doesn’t mind because it makes me more comfortable.
My therapist when I was living somewhere else as a teen had colouring pages, both adult and children, ranging in difficulty with supplies from kids crayons to pencil, to water colour paints. And I LOVED doing those while talking. Made the sessions themselves less traumatic.
Beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing this with the world. It helped me validate certain traumas of my own.
Mark I enjoyed this video ! I hope Mary continues to involve. GOD BLESS HER!!!!
This woman is a poet, I could listen to her speak all day. Her timbre, cadence, and way with words is nothing short of a pleasure to the ears.
yep
I knew if I looked in the comments I would find others who enjoyed her calm, patient, and thoughtful words as much as I do. I'm sad that she experienced what she did. I'm so grateful that she had the strength to tell the truth and share her story.
Kind of creepy too lol 😆
@@nobueno8652Says more about you, doesn't it?
Very well said. I was thinking the same.
I was a CPS officer in PA. We had so many Amish kids it was nuts!
Yet so few cases are actually helped... It's sad 😢
Very sad
How many catholic? How many Baptist? How many Lutheran? How many Jehovahs Witness? How many Buddhist?
I suspect that you only noticed the amount Amish because they stand out so much
@@paulacontreras6150 It's a very small community, and they don't go outside of that community, which limits sexual partners.
I live in Lancaster County PA. A friend of mine was a nurse in the local hospital. There was a high amount of stillborn, and mentally disabled births from a product of inbreeding.
Unfortunately, sexual abuse is not uncommon.
@@paulacontreras6150So? The interviewee is Amish if you haven’t noticed!
As a former costume/clothing designer, I was struck by her design and color. As a survivor of abuse I was struck by her strength, resolve, and wisdom. I felt inspired by her, I felt connected and we come from very different places. Her eloquence is breath taking.
Thank you both for this interview, my favorite for sure. 🙏❤️