I just wanted to take a moment to thank Mark so much for allowing me to share my story. The week since this was posted has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had no idea how many people would see this video and the response that it would get. I've tried replying to as many comments as possible to thank all the kind, supportive, amazing people and survivors who have left encouraging words and shared their stories with me as well. I want to continue sharing, growing and learning from my past. As well as bring awareness to these issues and help others that are going through similar situations. It's ok to talk about what you have been through, it's ok to ask for help, it's ok to forgive yourself and others. Most importantly it's never too late to change your life for the better. Thank you again ❤
Powerful interview. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are so proud of how you turned things around. Wishing you and your daughter nothing but the best ❤
If you’re gonna leave a narcissist - it’s almost always something you have to prepare for. You play stupid, you play helpless, you play naive. And you plan. Then once you’re out - NEVER LOOK BACK
It’s so hard not to get emotional & frustrated then in* anger etc you yell out everything you’ve been planning then said plan is ruined & you have to start all over & try even harder
Thing is, narcissistic abuse from a partner is so bad that words can’t even describe it. As sad as her story is, it doesn’t come close to what she actually went through.
Facts... because it's NOT just the narcissist... the system continues to re-victimize those of us who have already endured more than what most would imagine is "too much". Hence suicide uptick which isn't just about the biased idea of "mental issues" or "addiction". Victims of narcs don't inherently have mental issues. Crazy world... but I love this channel because it SHOWS from personal accounts, the veracity of variables.
You're absolutely right. I ended a 5 yr relationship with a narcissist and moved back to my home town. He had never met most of my family so he couldn't find me. I haven't dated since. It's been 9 years.
That's the truth, you're lucky if we can even explain everything we have went through etc she did an amazing job but her story is barely even half of it you're absolutely right
She’s the definition of the lotus flower, she fought through all the mud and shit, through elements designed to kill her, to grow into the most beautiful (inside and out) flower the sun could shine its light on. You’re incredible and deserve all the happiness in the world ❤
@kyliebaby1391 Before reading your comment I was going to write something similar; then I said nope; Your comment/words are the most beautiful..and poignant. I hope Deanna reads your comment.
@@hitzoneproductions7858 I’m sorry was there a video with all the ppl who abandoned and abused her? I must’ve missed it. I’d almost think this channel was for us to take a glimpse into someone’s life. It’s easy to show outward beauty but hard to come across as authentic when your faking internal beauty. I stand by my initial thought and if I’m wrong I’ve hurt nobody. Here’s a hug you obviously need it 🤗
I've actually learnedand listened to God. He does not forgive narcs and neither should we. Some unintentionally hurt others. They can be forgiven. Narcs seek to destroy you. Ask me how I know
@@rppope1006 god forgives everyone.......god is beyond human and not bound by the same petty rules. Human find it hard to forgive, god does not. Do not make god out to be as petty as the average human...... You can just as easily be a narc and not know it, thats how being a narc works....
@@jacobus57…that’s reconciliation, its different. Forgiveness isn’t transactional at all. From God, it is freely given through Christ, when we do it, it is with humility and to imitate Christ….and it usually takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears.
The fact that you endured so much with your adopted parents but didn't blame your biological mom shows what an amazing women you are. You could have been bitter towards her, but you chose to show her grace and kindness. It speaks volumes about you as a person. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. 🙏🏾💛
Narcissist = a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. I guess I’m an narcissist. This word is used by bitter women who couldn’t control an man
For anyone who's never been sucked up into the net of a narcissist, it's almost impossible to understand why people "fall for it". Dating a narcissist is a whole different experience that scars you and changes you for ever.
Amen! My ex wife did massive damage to my mental state and I’m still working on putting the pieces together. The scars she left behind will last a lifetime. It’s difficult to imagine you’d ever be in that place until you’re in it. Then you wonder how you got there.
I dated a narcissist when I was 18-21back in the 90's. I was very naive and also low self-esteem. He was handsome, outgoing, told me I was pretty, etc... but he was very possessive, took my virginity, played games, always accused me of lying (when he was the liar), threatened to commit suicide if I left him, hired people to watch me, etc... He made me believe that his happiness was wrapped up in me. I was able to get out of the relationship finally when some friends did an intervention. It's a miracle that he didn't show up with a gun to kill me because he was capable, I shudder to realize. I was so naive. My friend took me for group counseling at the battered woman's shelter. That's how I began to heal from it because I was learning that this is not all that uncommon for people to suffer from abuse in relationships.
@@HeedGodsWord thank God you got out! Best of luck to you. I really hope you can finally find some peace and contentment now that you are free. Just keep going, keep believing in yourself and never give up on yourself. Try to remember the manipulative ploys that were used to gain favor and get things, whatever it was that he took from you. Whatever it was, you can get it back and more. Take care of yourself. First. 💛🥀💜
@@teressamckinnie6878 Aw, thank you for your kind words! That is so true that I should not forget the manipulative ploys because I have encountered it a few times in people and my red flags go up. Thank the Lord, because I am very happy to say that I have found healing in Jesus Christ. Took me 20 years to finally surrender to the gospel that saves. I never knew I was lost until the Lord convicted me by His word and He delivered me....I mean, He really delivered me from all the junk I was carrying for years that cost me a divorce and never having kids. Now, I have a godly husband who knows he has to answer to God for how he treats me. (And the same for me too!) God's been very good to me. You seem wise, I bet you've experienced a few things. Take care!
Sounds JUST like my ex boyfriend. He cheated on me all the time and started to become abusive. He left me for another girl after 4 years who was my friend and I tried to warn her, I’m just happy I got away. It was always a weird compliment and then a stab like “you’re book smart but you’re not common sense smart” or “you’re pretty but you’re too skinny”. I FEEL for this woman, I can only wish her and anyone else who has been through this HEAL ❤
That’s exactly the type of things my ex-husband used to say. You are nobody without me, no one likes you, you’re fat (I weighed 120 lbs). He cheated but blamed it on me. I was broken and finally threw him out but it took 17 years
I am a PTSD therapist at a domestic violence/sexual assault crisis center and your story is one that I will share with my clients. You so eloquently describe how people become vulnerable to abusers. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery. and thank you for fighting to leave so your daughter and the child in you can heal. You are amazing
Can people just have traits of narcissism? Sometimes it rubs off from The narcissist who is in your life. That's what happened to me! It took a long time to heal however, I did pick up a lot of his narcissistic traits and I have to be very mindful because that's not who I am.
@@winros Absolute everyone can have narcissistic traits. But the difference is that a true narcissist has almost all the traits and it’s the core of who they are.
@@winros everyone can have symptoms of most disorders, but for a diagnosis, the person has to have a certain number of symptoms/criteria that the DSM-V lists. Also, what most don't know is that cluster B personality disorders, like npd, are usually a trauma response from childhood and sometimes is treatable. The therapist, though, almost always has to be very skilled in DBT before progress can be made
How he managed to convince her she isn't beautiful is beyond me. Even with her childhood and her mindset, the very first thing I noticed in this video was how gorgeous she is. I thought it throughout the whole video, she's so so pretty. Everything about her is beautiful, and I'm so glad she can see that about herself now.
@@itsjust_deanna Absolutely there is, your inner strength is the most beautiful thing about you, it shines through and makes your surroundings lighter. Congratulations for getting yourself through everything, it sure wasn't easy.
Everybody tells me this too, but I disagree. That's what men like that do. They always pick the most beautiful, strong, intelligent, creative, and talented, good hearted women. That's their specialty. And they play mind games, gaslight, and twist all we say because they can't communicate, and tell us we're the problem. It's all our fault. They hate our whole family and we're just like them but they only love us. I never was taught that people can and will do this to people they"love". Nobody taught me, that the one person you trust me than anyone else, and are supposed to be protected by could do things like that. Now I know the truth. And you can only recognize these things in others if you've been through it all yourself. I hate this world, not just because of the greed, the hate, and the broken systems. It's because for some reason, a person can be screaming at the top of their lungs in a crowded place and nobody cares to help. They only point, laugh, and judge, and join in with the abusers. Treat us like we're crazy. And he always used the word, "dillusional", which was not in my vocabulary. Now I know, the only people that do have that word in theirs and use it, are the type that traits attention from themselves, and then it to others. 😢 There are famous women this happens to also. Sharon stone. Shania twain. Sandra bullock. And they also cheat and bring stuff back to us, when we're being loyal and not cheating. 😢 it's the hardest thing to keep yourself, I'm but a shell now. Just because the outside is gorgeous, doesn't mean we're not tainted. Please remember this. ❤❤❤
@@WillBlindYouWithLight I completely get what you are saying. It’s all so true especially the part about people watching instead of helping. That’s why I keep speaking out about all this. I want people to be aware of what is going on and how deeply it affects people. The more educated people are the more they are willing to help. Unless they are part of the problem too of course.
She mentioned at one point she didn’t leave him because she was too weak at the time. I think we so often see our survival instinct as weakness. But every single moment of her story shows her incredible strength and resilience.
@@VinascoXperienceThe fact that you would leave such a vile comment like this says a Lot about the kind of person you sadly are. To say someone “deserves” abuse because they made bad decisions is absolutely disgusting. But guess what? Without those bad decisions I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t have an amazing friend like his “first wife” who wasn’t his wife but you missed that part and I would be the incredibly strong woman I am today who is sharing her story and trying to help others. I learned from everything I went through so I can teach others not to make the same mistakes. I’m thankful for every lesson and I’m thankful for the life I have today. I want to help and be a light to others. What kind of legacy do you think you are leaving behind with this behavior? Do better
@@VinascoXperience You said I “deserved what I got” which is the fact that I was in an abusive relationship. So twist it around as much as you want that’s exactly what you said. I also never said I was weak. Most of the decisions we make as adults are based on how we grew up. You obviously don’t want this channel much because it’s the most common theme here. I never made excuses or didn’t take responsibility for anything. I explained why my mindset was the way it was. I was only 17 when I met him with the mindset of probably a 12-13 year old because of how I was raised. Turning 18 makes people adults by law, it doesn’t mean they are emotionally adults unless they are raised to be. People who look to understand instead of just judge get it. You never will and that’s ok. I also would never judge anyone who is in an abusive situation man or woman. I listen and try to understand. The fact that you make it about me being a woman also tells me a lot about your character. You not agreeing with someone else’s decisions doesn’t make you a bad person. But the way you react and treat others does.
The worst part about sharing one’s narcissist encounter is how difficult it is to explain to others. Especially those who have never had a relationship with a narcissist. In the end your still the one that sounds crazy.
@@rv706noone gets formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder unless they seek out therapy themselves AND their narcissism is objectively ruining their own lives (that they can't keep a job, they mess up their finances, they're unable to sustain relationships with other people etc). Most narcissists will never admit to being "the problem", as being unable to even think of that as a genuine possibility is part of the diagnose. They will not seek help for their own sake. They will only use therapy as a weapon against their "loved ones" if they ever decide to go. They will also easily manipulate psychologists who are not specifically trained to spot narcissistic traits and spot narcissistic abuser-victim dynamics in couple's therapy. Check out Dr Ramani on youtube if you'd like to learn more about narcissism from a clinical point of view.
My mother was a malignant narcissist. I was probably 60-something before I began to realize how ill she was, and what the effects had been on me. I was 56 when she died, and my reaction was sheer relief.
@@sloftyIf you don't mind...What do you think or know narcissistic personalities to fall under then? If not a mental condition? Deliberately Abusive? Intentional Harm & Hate ? Just Simply Evil? That sure is what it feels like ... just curious...
It’s sad my mother just passed this year and I found out a few months before she passed that she was covert and she didn’t even know why she was the way she was…. I believe it is a demon.
I can't get past her complete beauty, inside and out. I also was raised by narcissists and then married (now divorced from) a sociopath. life is such a head trip.
Same, this is one of the stories that hit every single one of my traumas, raised by narcissists, married a sociopath, divorced and now I’m married with a beautiful family, a peaceful home, a college education and a job I love. Going back to school too for a doctorate’s since it’s always been a dream of mine.
Just left a 6 yr relationship with a NPD I’m so damn messed up. Never thought I’d let myself just disappear. More attention needs to be put on this type of abusive relationship
One of the most beautiful people you have interviewed both inside and out. A truly inspirational story for so many people to learn from. Thanks for sharing Deanna
I can relate to being in a relationship with a narcissist. After 23 domestic violence cases, 6 trials, 6 restraining orders, and he was sentenced to 5 years in prison, I left. The final year was the hardest because I had to file police reports against him contacting me via phone calls, letters, his family contacting me for him via emails and text messages. That final year I had to testify in 4 trials. He still continues to harass me. Because of the physical abuse I took gun safety classes. It’s not easy but getting out is worth it. My saving grace is my parents. You’re a strong mama and I’m proud of you for walking away and sharing your story.
why do you women choose men like that then? is it hard to just choose a guy who is nice? smh, always the same with women.. you admire k1llers as well. it's pathetic
@@hollig9963 Im sorry to hear that, don't you have someone you can reach out to? Move somewhere else or such... what is stopping you from leaving? if police doesn't do anything, contact organizations that work with such cases, as well as churches or politicans - so they may give you shelter or help. No man should act like that towards their partner.. or don't you have those type of organization in US?
@@itsjust_deanna nothing in this world is going to stop you. I'm sorry about so many things. I hope one day you get to know the true Christ. A toxic church can be very destructive and a good one can be very healing. You are so intelligent and beautiful. I hope one day you can use these horror stories to help others heal. Thank you for sharing.
It's so wild to me how you truly can never tell somebody's struggles. This woman is perfect, she looks perfect, she speaks perfect. And to know when she was a child she was sad, scared and isolated just breaks my heart. Ultimately these struggles must have really created a diamond because I can't see how anybody wouldn't love this woman. I love her.
Yes, she is very well read and seems very articulate in her speech to have not been educated. I see her parents hiding them inside to cover up the abuse...not wanting the kids to speak to anyone. I don't think it was "racism", or why adopt kids of other races? In this case it sounds like the boyfriend and his parents were the ones who were the racists..
@@paulalowery7411sounds like she adopted these kids of different races so that she looked like a Saint "helping the poor black babies"...it was for attention.
This broke my heart and almost had me in tears. My mom went through the same thing. My mom had the same mindset "Wait until they turn 18". If any of you relate to her story, please listen. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT. Your children know and see the abuse that is going on. My mom didn't see the light until my sister and I told her that we rather be without a dad than see her be hurt every day. Honestly, it is better to be alone than have your child in that harmful situation because 9/10 times the cycle will continue as we see.
I’m so sorry you and your family went through this. You are 100% right! As parents we think we are doing the right thing staying with an abuser to our kids can have “Both parents” “A normal life” etc. But we are just teaching them that abuse is normal and acceptable so the cycle continues and they end up in abusive relationships. We have to break the cycle and show them that it’s never ok to let anyone abuse them. I have made it my mission to enforce that in my daughter. To never accept anyone who treats her badly. Even if it’s just a friend. We teach them from our experiences ♥️🙏🏼
Mark, no lie, this is one of your best interviews. You hardly had to aak anything but you gave this strong, intelligent, beautiful woman a platform to share this compelling story of her life, her survival and her outlook for the future. Well done! This is why I keep coming back to your channel. I never know who you will meet that will teach us something new, give us hope, or help us process. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing with us your heartbreak, your triumphs and your fortitude. You are an inspiration and I hope we see more of you as an advocate and as a leader in the coming days, your light can be a positive influence in this dark world. All the best to you and your daughter, always.
@@infinitejest.4994 Thank you so much. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this interview. When I discovered this channel and ones like it and heard other people’s stories I didn’t feel alone anymore either. I sometimes felt like I was the only one with a story like mine. But hearing from others who went through the same and made it out and are happy and healed inspired me so much. I wish you so much love and continued healing ❤️
You go girl! Leaving the narcissist is the hardest task, especially when kids are invading. I have been through and relate to all. Power to you. You are strong and beautiful, your daughter is lucky to have you. ❤
How she did not use substances to escape her reality is a miracle. What a well adjusted person especially after all of that. The chances of a person with her life experiences turning out to be this smart, lovely, well mannered, empathetic, sane, and responsible are very minute. Good for her! I feel so awful about her as a child and having to go through so much toxic abuse. We need to monitor foster & adopted children better as a community. Something needs to happen..
Thank you so much for your kind comment. Because I knew both my parents had substance abuse problems I always had a fear of becoming addicted myself. The odds of it happening are very high when you have addicted parents. So I always stayed away from substances.
my narcissistic husband blames my drug addiction for his behavior… I use BECAUSE of his behavior!! but a narcissist will never take accountability for their actions. my husband’s abuse has scarred me for life.
When she said the nice woman from the adoption agency broke rule, and reached out to her grandmother... I teared up. Cause I knew, that was a huge, positive turning point for her... to know her origin....and I just wanted her to win so badly... Her story touches my heart so much. Thank you, Young Lady. Thank you for sharing your Truth
A great interview. The picture - with her arms crossed, and a determined look, made me smile. She's strong, battle tested, I have confidence in her. I bet she's a great mother. She's beautiful, as well. I hope she gets the life she deserves ( I bet she will )...
Her trauma kept her waiting for someone else to rescue her every time she was hurt and abused. I am glad she finally came to her own rescue. Well told story!
I've been there and I think her brain was pretty much scrambled. I left after being in her situation. I got through it by hanging out with positive people and watching comedy. I filled my time with laughter. I still don't date because a narcissist will never stop
I had an affair w/ someone I believe to be narcissistic. I feel for you just as I felt for his wife. He made me feel like we had a special connection but really when push came to shove he wasn’t going to leave his wife. I feel u r that wife and I am not in competition or envious of u. I pray from both of u to grow…. To know when people r loving u in a possessive way vs a unconditional way. And for the narcissist, to know the difference between attention and true love.
I started crying when she was speaking about meeting her biological mother and telling her that her life was good, just to protect her mothers feelings. I wish her all the best in life going forward. She deserves it. ❤
@@itsjust_deanna that moment when you mentioned not hurting your biological mom really hit home. I have a good relationship with my mom… and I would never want to be cause of her pain. Like her ended up with a narcissist and thought abuse was normal. To this day I just want to protect her and not let her know any hurt.
As an adoptee with abusive adoptive parents, this really resonated with me on so many levels. The isolation, the constantly being torn down, the church garbage, one parent covering for the other's abuse. Even not feeling bad when my dad passed, and getting caught up in a narcissistic relationship.i understand so much of this
I so get that. Both my bio parents are dead and there's not a day that oes by that I actually miss their presence. I was abused, gaslit and conditioned into constantly trying to connect to them and tolerating their spirit crushing abuse until the day they died. It took years after their deaths to even begin the "deprogramming" stage of life and start to see them in their truth... a process that is excruciatingly painful to go through. Imo, there's no shame at not feeling sad, and even feeling legit happy, when an abusive parent (finally) dies.
@@itsjust_deanna Awwwww... thank you so much Deanna! That means the world to me. If what I posted resonated with you due to your own abuse and/or neglect, then I am sorry for what you have gone through as well. In any event though, big virtual hugs to you Deanna and thanks again for your loving and supportive post to me!💗💟😊
My goodness, she is stunningly beautiful! Edit: that was just my initial thought in the beginning of her story but wow! She's been thru SO SO much! Strong and beautiful. Impressive she can still stand so tall n have such a strong presence and speaking voice. The confidence
I’ve been waiting for soft white underbelly to cover narcissism. Please more narcissistic content. It’s so prevalent and the source of a lot of the issues that people on the channel face, narcissistic abuse. I’m so thankful for this brave women sharing her story.
@@NoBoxingNooLifeNo I asked how so. I am a complete stranger who you don’t know from a hole in the wall. So what evidence do you have to support such a claim?
As I sat here listening to her story it shook me to my soul. Brought tears to my eyes. So glad to see she's in a better place now. I've been there and I'm still on my journey back.
I would say GOD!!! Just like everyone no the difference between night and day! Just like Satan exist GOD does as well. He created everything and everyone. He has no beginning or ending. The Alpha and Omega. Jesus is coming soon.
it might be pessimistic, but tbh I think she's a narc. She shaped the story to avoid certain things you can infer she was doing. The same way she describes the husband and mother doing when talking to others. A key to me is looking from the daughter's perspective. Did she ever do what was best for her daughter? f no. Oh I'm staying with this abusive narc because of my daughter? Remember before the daughter was born she used a different excuse? She cares about her daughter in so far as it affects how she looks to other people. She wanted things from that relationship and didn't care if it affected someone else so long as she could make it appear she wasn't being selfish. Like any narcissist. So the answer I would guess is she's not such a nice person.. she is a narc, a product of other narcs, and unless she is self aware and counteracting that behavior she is as bad as any of them. The irony on narcissism is that narcs hate other narcs more than anything, and they completely miss the irony because everyone believes they're a good person. That's why there's so much evil in the world, all humans are innately blind to their own evil. Even if people claim to want to be good, how can they be.. as far as they know, they are.
Because you don’t want to be anything like the son of a bitch who abused you. But in the end it screws you to be so empathetic and you have to learn a bit of the coldness that you’ve never wanted to be or have in your life again. And you honestly feel sorry for the miserable ppl who do this to you because you know they are sick. It’s a real weird dynamic. All you want to do is give & feel love that you never got.
As someone who stuck by a narcisist girlfriend for almost decade, stealing all my teen age years and the early part of my 20s who only recently is recovering, I can say that the worst thing about being with a narcissist is the constant guilt you feel while you are the one being victimized. Narcissists are so selfish and evil that they won't even allow you to pull yourself back up since you are in a constant swing between the pain they cause you and the suffering they make you go through thinking you are the one hurting them and so they justify their behavior. Thanks Deanna for making me feel less lonely while I go through my journey hoping to fully heal one day ❤
You describe it so accurately. You definitely aren’t alone. There are so many in these situations or healing from them. You will get there in time, just keep moving forward and never look back. Wishing you the best.
@@itsjust_deannaThank you so much for giving me strength throughout your story. You are a wonderful human being that didn't let her terrible experiences overshadow everything awesome you had inside. I will try my best to use my own trauma to become the best version of myself too. Wish you and your daughter the best, you deserve it ❤❤
The number 1 thing when leaving a narcissist or abuser: Dont tell them that you are leaving! Make a plan, protect money, keep evidence of abuse before they know what you plan to do! Leaving is the most dangerous time in these relationships. It is when they snap and could even kill you.
Her childhood groomed her to be abused. Even though he was horrible, it was familiar to her. I’m so happy she got her life & she’s still working on herself.❤
@@sweetcaroline7107 most times we marry people with similar characteristics (unconsciously) because it feels familiar & we grow comfortable with the feeling quickly
You put it perfectly. Her childhood did groom her to be abused. I have lived that life a thousand times and I still struggle. It’s the utter disbelief that your flesh and blood could be your biggest enemy and downfall. It’s a hard pill to swallow and a heavy load to bear.
6 minutes in and I am ptsing myself. Sounds a lot like my childhood growing up. I also ended up with a narcissist but broke free. Love and strength to you.
While listening, I kept thinking: if I'd had a child with my narc husband, this is what my life would have been. You are so strong, Deanna! I am cheering for you!
Thank you so much! Yeah having a child definitely makes things harder and more complicated. I’ll never regret having my daughter as she is my entire world. But I never recommend having a child wish this type of person.
Deanna's story of surviving a marriage to a narcissist offers a glimpse into the psychological abuse and trauma victims endure, and highlights the importance of healing and self-love. This is an inspirational content, this should be featured on Off the Record.
So much of what she says resonates. My mother is a narcissist and i had a string of abusive adult relationships because i knew no different and thought that behaviour was normal. The damage, trauma, confusion and bewilderment done should never be underestimated. What an amazing, beautiful woman. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
This was my favorite one . I was raised by a narcissist and I kept dating narcissistic men until I stop the cycle by going to therapy… I can relate just like Deanna I’m beautiful inside and out but with a lot trauma to work through… may God bless her beautiful soul❤
@@vt1764 I've dated narcissists and they often manipulate you into thinking they are "nice" guys . I've even had them put me in a pedestal. Read about the characteristics and when you see the first red flag ....run . They tend to run after you and stalk but just keep running and get a restraining order if need be .
@VT, learn to love yourself. I believe this is key. We may be magnets to this disordered kind, due to being raised by them. But you will no longer fall prey to these predators once you begin to have boundaries, and self love and respect the minute they try to cross your boundaries or disrespect you. Another thing I’ve learned to do is, watch and see if a persons actions match their words. If not, that’s enough for me to move on.
Being raised by a narcissist will lead you to being a magnet to spouses that are narcissistic. So many echos in this story. You are beautiful and this is so brave of you to share with the world. Thank you! I learned so very much from this.
@@itsjust_deanna I did. It took a couple of years of court cases and counseling to regain my health, but it was so worth it. Getting free of these malicious people is a gauntlet we need to walk, but there is peace and health on the other side, my friend!
When i left my ex he fought me endlessly thro the courts, trying to empty every cent we had in the bank. I got a will written, as i expected he would kill me. I had our 6 yr old son, that his mother wanted. It was hell. We made it out alive.
Deannna Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You are a beautiful young, strong woman. You are an absolute super role model for your daughter.. Peace and love ❤
She's had it so tough and you can tell she's nice person with a lot of hurt, I just really hope that she gets to live happily and peacefully from now on. Be extra kind to her if you ever meet her she deserves it!
@@itsjust_deanna You, my friend, are a diamond, in a mountain of rock. You're beautiful, you sparkle, I can't stop looking at you, and I know first hand how hard narcissism makes a person. I wish I could offer hope about meeting someone, I know it is possible, but it sure feels like standing on the sidewalk in front of the Empire State building, and looking up, when the only place worth getting to, is the very tip. And, I'm just talking anyone, friends even. I don't want to talk to anyone in my family, I went dark on all my friends, overnight, any work I am experienced in is surrounded by people, so I feel I can't do those jobs, and that leaves me with no work value.... ALL narcissists. .... It's our culture. I think NOT being a narcissist is a personal spiritual achievement. The only advice I can give, is to really learn what it means to be comfotable in your own skin, to not need anyone else to validate you, to not need a person you can be coupled with and say you love them, in order to feel love. You are from nature, that's where your healing will start and end. And, only Truth shall set you free. Something a narcissist never experiences. Good luck, princess. Lots of love. Peace
Videos like this are important. This is so common. People need to learn what to do when in these situations. Being with a narcissist is dangerous and you can't just leave like it's with a normal person.
Wow!! This is so well narrated and such a powerful story. You are such a strong and resilient soul and this story has the power to make great impact. Thank you so much for sharing your story❤❤❤
Deanna’s story hit so close to home with me. My mother and ex husband are both narcissists and I’m cleaning up the emotional mess they both made of my life. I don’t know how Deanna has the courage to be in a relationship because I’m so traumatized that I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I’m terrified to get close to anyone. The hard part with being a victim of narcissistic abuse is that most people don’t believe you since the narcissist acts like an innocent angel in front of others. When a victim tells you their story please believe them no matter how much of a good person the perpetrator is.
Such a strong message here. I’m so sorry for everything you have endured. If you aren’t in therapy already, it truly does help. I’m sending you so much love and wishes for healing ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for the well wishes Deanna and I send them right back at you. I’ve been in therapy for 10 months now and I don’t know what I’d do without it. The catalyst that got me into therapy was finding out my husband was a fentanyl addict. A narcissist under the influence of fentanyl is scary and it turned him into an absolute monster. I don’t miss him one bit and have realized how precious peace is. You are very courageous to have come forth to tell your painful story, but it’s not all painful. You seem to be on the right track to living a life free of toxicity.
I’m currently going through a separation/divorce from a narcissist and your story has brought me many tears but has also brought me some strength. I hope I can be as strong as you one day. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing your story.
This is exactly why I wanted to share. I want people who are going through similar things to know there is hope and you can make it out. Stay strong and keep going 🙏🏼♥️✨
When you’re done with a narcissist NEVER announce it to them! Behave as if nothing has happened and ESCAPE AND GO TOTAL NO CONTACT to another state if possible (there, I just described my escape fantasy to you)
Yup. That’s exactly what I had to do myself years ago. He was going to end up k*lling me, or I was going to unalive myself. He was horrible and obsessive.
@@goblinfood9786. I married someone like that. I had family who seemed to think I should just wait for him to die, so I could get something out of it, financially. They didn’t know that the chances of surviving the abuse and someone squeezing you for all your energy and labor are low. By the time I got out, I didn’t even know who I was. Getting out of the black hole was the best choice I ever made! He was not about to let me get out alive, with “his” money, none of which he would ever have had without my labor and endless support. If someone doesn’t value you, leave if it can. It’s not worth it!
I cried during several parts of Deanna 's story. If I saw her in a restaurant, I would have thought to myself, "That gorgeous woman must have it all...just a perfect life." I work with families in crisis, so hearing that her adopted mother created a cottage industry by taking in children in need reinforced my worst fears. All of the abuse committed by both the adoptive parents is heartbreaking. Then, to hear what she experienced from her narcissistic partner made me cry more. The victims of DV with whom I work and their children so often choose to return to their abuser. That has been one of the hardest aspects of my work to understand. Deanna, like others who have shared their stories with Mark and us, is helping me be more empathetic and less judgmental of those who choose what is familiar to them or who know what the abuser is capable of doing. A young man who murdered a lovely teen-aged mother and their baby boy in 2017 was just given two life sentences without the possibility of parole. I see Deanna and think of what that sweet girl could have been had she survived. I wish for Deanna many years of joy and may her pain and memories diminish with each passing day. Thank you, Deanna, for being a survivor and an inspiration!
Thank you so much fir your kind words. It’s so sad that young woman lost her life to her abuser. One if the biggest reasons I wanted to speak out. People see victims of domestic abuse and all they can say is “Why don’t they just leave.” They have no idea how complicated it is and the reason why so many people end up in those situations to begin with. I want educate people so they can have more empathy and understanding. Also to help people know what to avoid when choosing partners and to help others that they see in bad situations. We can’t fix the problem ourselves. But bringing awareness is definitely a start. Thank you for the support 💖
All those tatts you really would have thought she had a perfect life😒 I swear the world is stoopid🤦🏽♀️ Anytime folks have all those tatts, lip piercing etc they had a shitty life🤷🏽♀️
@@TSM-tv8hy I don't share your insight into the psychology of ink or piercings. I didn't have my ears pierced until I was 40 because my evangelical mother believed only gypsies had pierced ears and I wanted my first pair of real diamond studs. I have no ink or other piercings because I loathe needles and pain. That doesn't mean I lack my share of emotional baggage. Your premise is flawed, IMHO.
Why is it hard to understand why people return to their abusers? If you are working with this population, have you not been trained on all of the forces acting on the abused that push them back to their abusers? It surprises (and disappoints) me that you would have trouble understanding the people you are working with. You can learn all about these forces without too much effort. I hope you will.
Thanks again, Mark. I could listen to Deanna tell her story for hours. What an amazing woman. Her daughter is so lucky to have such a brave mother that loves her so much.
I always try to prepare myself to hear an absolute horror story as soon as the person says they went into foster care or was adopted. The system is either totally overwhelmed or run by absolute perverted pedophiles. I think its 50/50.
I think its unfortunately both. Lackluster foster parents are accepted at this point because our society has gone through such moral decay, more and more (women especially, which is sick) are caring less and less about babies and children..Which creates broken adults who bave no good coping skills. So, we end up with a world full of instant gratification wrapped addiction just trying to feel better at all! If you didnt have abuse, you cant truly understand why someone would throw obvious warning bells out the window just to have a break from your head.. This is how we create addicts, abusers, murderers....Its infrastructure gets built between 0-5 yrs, then crafted through the rest of adolescence...Its a moral and family unit issue. But look... We've pissed on the truth and value of family unit roles and angrily ripped God from everything. Its pretty clear what the problem is. But, have we become too selfish to change it?
@itsfreshitsanne I completely agree. My brother and I were adopted and we were the very lucky few who got a great home and loving parents. It breaks my heart others weren't given this opportunity, but its due to many factors including what you stated. I hope to one day adopt children and give them all the home they deserve.
I work in social services. Social workers are overwhelmed, there isn’t adequate funding, many of the people drawn to fostering and adoption have ulterior motives, and the few people that really care for the wellbeing of the children are quickly burned out.
I am so proud of you. Where the world is baring its fangs; your story of survival is a reflection of my journey on some levels, & survival is possible. (narcissists devalidate, they gaslight. They are so petty and materialistic.) I am truly only about 20% healed. Seeing another survivors story is like seeing Shacari Richardson win. Heroic.
This is one of my FAVORITE interviews!! Deanna, you are an inspiration.... and I hope you know that. All the bullshit that others did to you was just fertilizer for the beautiful growth that you've seen in your life. Thank you for sharing your story!
God Bless you and your daughter and thank you so much for sharing your story is so inspiring and you are definitely stronger than you fault.Continue to shine always❤.
Deanna, this is a Masterclass in what a narcissistic spouse does. Except for your earlier years, you described what I experienced nearly Word. For. Word. It is bizarre when you recognize the very textbook behaviors and finally realize your situation is not unique. You are not alone. Never forget that. ❤
Thank you so much! I think I’ve become an expert on their behavior now. That’s why I want to speak out so that people know they aren’t alone and aren’t crazy. Listening to other survivor’s stories helped me immensely and now I want to to my part to help 🙏🏼
EXACTLY! I went thru lots of the same with my EX. All I can say is THANK GOD he's dead! Yep, I found out he O.D'd/Suicide about 4 years ago. He was up on charges for another DUI and had struck his elderly mother (he was mad because she wouldn't give him money and multiple witnesses saw he do it) so he was up on charges for Elder Abuse. He can't stalk me any more!
I just finished watching your interview. I don't know how I ended up with a narcissistic husband the first time around, because I grew up with parents who treated me VERY well! They were so proud of me, and let me know how precious I was to them; that they loved me dearly, (despite the fact that initially, my mother wanted to abort me. I was "Oops baby" #3). I didn't know what a Narcissist was, but I knew I was in a mostly miserable marriage. I was emotionally and verbally abused for over 20 years. I didn't even know I was being abused, because the abuse was insidious and covert. My self esteem dwindled down to very little over the years but it's back, and I'm re-married to a man who values me, treats me right and is NOT a Narccissist ~:0). I didn't have to deal with my husband having multiple affairs, but I dealt with his jealousy, manipulation, and insecurities. I lost myself as I was guilted into giving up friends, activities and jobs that I loved. Then one day a parent of a child that I cared for gave me the book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, written by Christian Author, Patricia Evans. We seemed to be on every page! Thank you for sharing your story. I want EVERY young girl/woman to watch it and learn from it. Narcissism and abuse should be discussed in schools, starting at the Middle School Level. And in regards to your childhood, SHAME on Social Services for allowing those so called, "Parents" of your's to adopt at all! They didn't deserve you, nor your siblings. Your daughter is blessed to have you for her Mama. And your boyfriend is blessed to have you for his companion. I pray you get to enjoy the rest of your life and that you NEVER end up in a similar situation again!
Mark, this is probably the best interview you've ever done. The other one that stands out is the guy who was molested as a kid, overcame his demons and ended up marrying his childhood sweetheart. Please do a part 2 with Deanna. Very inspiring! Her story gave me much needed hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can't stop looking for the switch.🙏♥️
What an INCREDIBLE woman! To be so humble and forgiving after a childhood of hell is incredible! Those around her should see themselves as blessed! Bless her soul!!! ❤
I was raised by a narcissist, then spent 26 years married to one before finally getting out. Then quickly found myself in a relationship with another one. I’m finally narc free, and alone. The healing needed from living with a narcissist is an ongoing process, and I expect I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life. I found the best answers came from HG Tudor’s channel, here on UA-cam. I highly recommend his videos, they were most helpful to me beginning this journey. Narcissists are just the WORST people, and they destroy so many lives. Thank you for this video, I’m so happy for this lovely lady now that she’s out. ☮️💖🙏
The PTSD of narcissistic abuse runs deep. Causes us to make poor decisions based on a false reality. Narcissistic people make their victims dependent on them. The victim relies on the narc to stop the pain that the narc created. Its a twisted co-dependency that is difficult to break.
That’s what people don’t understand. That’s why it’s so damaging when people victim blame or say Why didn’t you just leave? To domestic violence victims and survivors.
Being w/ a narcissist myself for 23 years… Deanna’s story hit hard on my heart. I wish her and her daughter all the very best. May God bless and keep them both safe always.
I was lucky enough to have great parents and a wonderful childhood. But, my life mirrored Deanna’s from the point of meeting her husband. I was with a narcissistic abusive man for 16 years who did so many of the exact same things. I now have PTSD. Thank you for sharing this!
Quite honestly the best interview I have ever seen on here..and I've seen a lot. I think just her honesty and communication is amazing. It lets me understand that forgiving yourself is part of growing up.
Well said. 👍🏽💯💝🌹 Sadly, you only know this when you know the abuse yourself. For you to recognize the absolute beauty in this means you’ve probably experienced it yourself. You are probably a badass woman warrior too, Ruby.
She is pretty inside and out. Also, her mind is clear, and her speech is coherent, and that makes her more intelligent than many college grads I've met. When her birth mom asked her if she had a good life, she responded with yes, that really touched me. I wish her a very happy life, and she WILL!
@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmeto it’s not debatable, it’s subjective, your opinion doesn’t matter move around hater w/ your “not even a hint of picture”having behind 🙄
You are such a beautiful person inside & out. My first husband was narcissistic, and unless anyone has been in that position on the receiving end, it’s hard to describe because that toxic behavior really starts to mess with you & it’s hard to break from & heal. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hugs & love to you ❤
You are so right. People don’t understand the toll it takes on your mental health. You stop trusting yourself because they make you feel like you aren’t seeing what you are seeing and experiencing what you know deep down you are. It takes so long to heal and find yourself again. I hope you are doing much better now. Thank you so much for the kind words 🙏🏼♥️
This woman helped me connect the dots for the person in my world who i believe has this disorder and so I will continue to steer clear of that person's influence for my own wellness. Thanks Deanna.
This is literally my life, adopted from foster by a narcissist who was in control of the household. I was quiet and obedient to stay safe but there was still the emotional, verbal abuse, and extremely controlling. I dated a narcissist for almost 4 years that behaved exactly as her ex husband. Only difference is that I didn’t marry him or get pregnant. It took several times but I left him for good. I also set boundaries with my adoptive mother and am now no contact because she controls her entire family. I’m so much better for it all and am happily married 😌❤. Thank you Deanna, for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for telling your story! I lived with a narcissist for 33 years before I saw the light. Comes from my mom, my childhood. Bullying at school, no self-esteem and then meeting this man that i looked up to. Toxic from the start but I thought if I try really hard things get better. They didn't. Tension and stress all the time. And when I was about ready to leave he would change instantly and become the nicest man again. Looking back I still wonder how I got sane out if this. My biggest regret is not sticking up for my kids more. They grew up like I did and worse. My oldest went into addiction to forget and I almost lost him. He is clean now for 8 years and my other son 6 years. So proud of them! But the thought of what my kids went through is the only thing that gets me to cry every time. I am proud of getting my life back after him and at 50 years of age I met this beautiful man. Which was scary at first because I was never used to someone being so nice. I emigrated and literally left my old life behind me. Have great contact with my boys and love them to the moon and back. I forgave everyone that caused me harm, including him. Forgiving doesn't mean you don't hold them responsible, but it allows you to move on.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s all so relatable. You truly feel like you are crazy at times. I have the same regret of not protecting my child more. But all that matters is that we are no longer in those relationships and we have better lives and relationships with our children. I hope you continue to grow and be happy 🙏🏼♥️
Never heard anyone tell a story like mine. Almost everything relates to my own story in some way. Being an adopted, homeschooled kid raised by a narcissistic mother is certainly not a tale commonly shared. Thank you for talking about this
I am also adopted, homeschooled, raised by a mother with narcissistic traits and a victim complex. She wasn’t horrible, but she did have a habit of weaponizing our vulnerabilities as kids and love had a savior complex attached to it. Even though is was not nearly as extreme as this case, not by a long shot, I still find myself having trust and self esteem problems, and have a difficult time talking about my feelings.
@PatDaBaker just being adopted is traumatic. You could have the most loving, wonderful adoptive parents and still have severe abandonment issues. Then place on top of that your parent is not loving and is just making all of the abdomen trauma ways worse whole adding more complex layers of trauma and then in my case being trapped with that mother 24 hours a day with no relief or ability to go anywhere and just be her own personal narcissistic supply farm. Your mother didn't have to be as bad as hers to still cause you harm. Just the foundation of the situation is harmful itself. I was adopted by my step grandmother. She took all of her hatred for her husband's ex out on me. All of the details may be different in each of our stories but the harm and the pain is the same ❤️
I needed to see this video. Not only to hear Deanna’s story but to gain courage to leave my own abusive relationship with a narcissist. It will be 8 years this July and I’m so ready to leave but so far from it. It’s all I can think about and all I want to do it run from it all. Thank you so so so much Deanna for sharing your words and strength with us.
It doesn't get any better. Start small start getting rid of small things. You will be surprised little makes a lot. THEY will age you and take your health
I am in the same boat. I totally understand the want to run. We can do this no matter where in the process we are. Stay strong and tell yourself, this too shall pass. My prayers to you for you are not alone. 🙏
I left a narcissist eight years ago this month. We were only together for two years, but it felt like a lifetime. I still have issues with anxiety and trauma from the verbal abuse, gaslighting, lying, etc. that went on and I’m in therapy. I would encourage you to slowly make a plan and not alert your partner if you plan to leave. Narcissists tend to retaliate in a huge way. I was cut off from all of my friends and social scene because he lied to everyone and told them terrible things about me when I finally left. I always had my family there for me though, and I couldn’t have gotten out without their support. I wish you the best of luck.
This resonated so much. Leave slowly, and sadly (but not for your own safety, really consider that, along with pets, children, any close relationships etc) be absolutely calculated. That's who they are, calculating, and it may go against your nature to be like that. It's the only way, they think so little of you, so quietly planning your escape, there are organisations all around (find them), won't even register. Plan quietly, stealth organise, and then go. Never look back. As best as you can cut ALL CONTACT. Even it means close friends who enable them, getting authorities involved. Been there, wish you luck🙏
This is why I've always told my daughters from a young age, be selective with who you entertain in your life. It's extremely important. Because one rushed decision can cause ultimate confusion.
I’m glad you educated them to make good decisions from a young age. Unfortunately I wasn’t as blessed with parents who prepared me for the real world. But I made sure my daughter is.
Thank you!! At the end of my similar ordeal, a psychologist wrote about me..... "she is unable to entertain even a thought independent of his, his control is so complete." That was in 1986, I was 28, my sons were 6, 3, and 1 and I was granted a divorce from a narcissistic, religious misogynist. Just like you, I had to hit rock bottom in order to pull myself together and move forward. And just like you I did it! It does take a lot of hard work and effort, but I promise you it will be worth it. Congratulations Deanna on your effort to take back your life....I wish you much success!!
I just ended a 3 year relationship with a narcissist it was mentally emotionally and physically abusive. I didn’t realize he abused me mentally and emotionally until I left. It was like being in a black whole you can’t get out of. Thank God He saved me and my daughter
This is wonderful news! Please know they always need their "supply " and will try to get you back, don't do it. A Narcissist DOES NOT change. Stay strong!!
Wow... Deanna, I'm soooo sorry your early years have been very difficult for you, your story is a simular story that so many people have gone through, but the difference with yourself is that you have come through this traumatic time through your own strength and determination to want a better life for yourself and to make sure your daughter does not go through a terrible time as you did, the strength you radiated on screen with you story will give others strength to get the best out of their lives too, your story is one of the best interviews Mark has ever done, you are such a beautiful person inside and out, you have come along way in your life and this is all your doing, Deanna you should be soooo proud of yourself, what an amazing lady you are, now go enjoy the wonderful life you have made for you and your daughter and hold on to that strength you built for yourself, Thank you so much, much love, Jenny from the UK x
I just wanted to take a moment to thank Mark so much for allowing me to share my story. The week since this was posted has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had no idea how many people would see this video and the response that it would get. I've tried replying to as many comments as possible to thank all the kind, supportive, amazing people and survivors who have left encouraging words and shared their stories with me as well. I want to continue sharing, growing and learning from my past. As well as bring awareness to these issues and help others that are going through similar situations. It's ok to talk about what you have been through, it's ok to ask for help, it's ok to forgive yourself and others. Most importantly it's never too late to change your life for the better. Thank you again ❤
We’re all here for you! My heart is with you. I’ve been divorced from mine for 7 years, but we have a child so I’ll never be rid of him. Much love!
Got me wanting to be a better person 🥺🫶🙏🏽🫂
❤❤❤
Powerful interview. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are so proud of how you turned things around. Wishing you and your daughter nothing but the best ❤
@@teeners8889 Thank you so very much 💖
If you’re gonna leave a narcissist - it’s almost always something you have to prepare for. You play stupid, you play helpless, you play naive. And you plan. Then once you’re out - NEVER LOOK BACK
Agreed.
It’s so hard not to get emotional & frustrated then in* anger etc you yell out everything you’ve been planning then said plan is ruined & you have to start all over & try even harder
Karen Rollins: I agree! And people after you leave, Never look back entails NOT calling them, STAY AWAY!!!! Many blessings to you🙏
Yep
💯💯💯
It’s time to start holding these adoption agencies accountable
I was privately adopted. Records sealed. Decades later my mother said if I was a boy, the doctor would keep me, if a girl, he'd give me to them.
This 👏 there is something deeply wrong with this system.
Amen
@@christonpo2336 yeah MONEY!!! ALL FOR THE MONEY!!!!!
Couldn’t agree more 🙌🏽
She's telling my story. I'm 4 years narc free and still healing from the trauma. So happy she found the strength to break free as well. ❤
I’m so happy for you 🙏🏼♥️
7 years free and never ever looked back 🙏🏾
@@itsjust_deanna ty🙏🏻❤️
@@mzkj1972 Yes girl!!! ❤️🙏🏻👏🏻
Thing is, narcissistic abuse from a partner is so bad that words can’t even describe it. As sad as her story is, it doesn’t come close to what she actually went through.
Facts... because it's NOT just the narcissist... the system continues to re-victimize those of us who have already endured more than what most would imagine is "too much". Hence suicide uptick which isn't just about the biased idea of "mental issues" or "addiction". Victims of narcs don't inherently have mental issues. Crazy world... but I love this channel because it SHOWS from personal accounts, the veracity of variables.
You're absolutely right. I ended a 5 yr relationship with a narcissist and moved back to my home town. He had never met most of my family so he couldn't find me. I haven't dated since. It's been 9 years.
That's the truth, you're lucky if we can even explain everything we have went through etc she did an amazing job but her story is barely even half of it you're absolutely right
True
So very true
She’s the definition of the lotus flower, she fought through all the mud and shit, through elements designed to kill her, to grow into the most beautiful (inside and out) flower the sun could shine its light on.
You’re incredible and deserve all the happiness in the world ❤
Omg, that is so beautiful! Will you please marry me?
@kyliebaby1391 Before reading your comment I was going to write something similar; then I said nope; Your comment/words are the most beautiful..and poignant. I hope Deanna reads your comment.
You don't know her. You watched an hour of a story that she told you only her side of.
@@grottoserpentina9342 they came to mind watching her. She could be so angry at the world but instead shows her beauty.
@@hitzoneproductions7858 I’m sorry was there a video with all the ppl who abandoned and abused her? I must’ve missed it.
I’d almost think this channel was for us to take a glimpse into someone’s life. It’s easy to show outward beauty but hard to come across as authentic when your faking internal beauty. I stand by my initial thought and if I’m wrong I’ve hurt nobody. Here’s a hug you obviously need it 🤗
"You have to learn to forgive ppl who aren't sorry." Powerful words
I've actually learnedand listened to God. He does not forgive narcs and neither should we. Some unintentionally hurt others. They can be forgiven. Narcs seek to destroy you.
Ask me how I know
@@rppope1006 god forgives everyone.......god is beyond human and not bound by the same petty rules. Human find it hard to forgive, god does not.
Do not make god out to be as petty as the average human......
You can just as easily be a narc and not know it, thats how being a narc works....
@@rppope1006facts
💯💯💯💯💯💯RS
@@jacobus57…that’s reconciliation, its different. Forgiveness isn’t transactional at all. From God, it is freely given through Christ, when we do it, it is with humility and to imitate Christ….and it usually takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears.
The fact that you endured so much with your adopted parents but didn't blame your biological mom shows what an amazing women you are. You could have been bitter towards her, but you chose to show her grace and kindness. It speaks volumes about you as a person. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. 🙏🏾💛
Thank you so much for listening to my story and for your kind words ♥️😊
I like how you worded that. I cannot type what I think because I am very empathetic for adoptive children although I am not. Good job. 😂❤
This was great. If you've never been with a narcisist it's almost impossible to describe how insane you feel, and how hard it is to know whats real.
So are 100% right!
💯💯💯💯
Narcissist = a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. I guess I’m an narcissist. This word is used by bitter women who couldn’t control an man
@@johnpeters1053 That’s exactly what a narcissist would say. Congrats on exposing yourself 😘
@@itsjust_deanna 🤣😂😂🤣😂 Exactly
For anyone who's never been sucked up into the net of a narcissist, it's almost impossible to understand why people "fall for it". Dating a narcissist is a whole different experience that scars you and changes you for ever.
Professor Sam Vaknin breaks it down very well.
💯
!!!!!
Amen! My ex wife did massive damage to my mental state and I’m still working on putting the pieces together. The scars she left behind will last a lifetime. It’s difficult to imagine you’d ever be in that place until you’re in it. Then you wonder how you got there.
Thank you for that statement... I was married to a narcissist for 10 years. It was hard, and still is.
Anyone who has dated a narcissist understands. Stay strong! You are amazing!
I appreciate your kindness 💖
Melania Trump?
I dated a narcissist when I was 18-21back in the 90's. I was very naive and also low self-esteem. He was handsome, outgoing, told me I was pretty, etc... but he was very possessive, took my virginity, played games, always accused me of lying (when he was the liar), threatened to commit suicide if I left him, hired people to watch me, etc... He made me believe that his happiness was wrapped up in me. I was able to get out of the relationship finally when some friends did an intervention. It's a miracle that he didn't show up with a gun to kill me because he was capable, I shudder to realize. I was so naive. My friend took me for group counseling at the battered woman's shelter. That's how I began to heal from it because I was learning that this is not all that uncommon for people to suffer from abuse in relationships.
@@HeedGodsWord thank God you got out! Best of luck to you. I really hope you can finally find some peace and contentment now that you are free. Just keep going, keep believing in yourself and never give up on yourself. Try to remember the manipulative ploys that were used to gain favor and get things, whatever it was that he took from you. Whatever it was, you can get it back and more. Take care of yourself. First. 💛🥀💜
@@teressamckinnie6878 Aw, thank you for your kind words! That is so true that I should not forget the manipulative ploys because I have encountered it a few times in people and my red flags go up. Thank the Lord, because I am very happy to say that I have found healing in Jesus Christ. Took me 20 years to finally surrender to the gospel that saves. I never knew I was lost until the Lord convicted me by His word and He delivered me....I mean, He really delivered me from all the junk I was carrying for years that cost me a divorce and never having kids. Now, I have a godly husband who knows he has to answer to God for how he treats me. (And the same for me too!) God's been very good to me.
You seem wise, I bet you've experienced a few things. Take care!
Sounds JUST like my ex boyfriend. He cheated on me all the time and started to become abusive. He left me for another girl after 4 years who was my friend and I tried to warn her, I’m just happy I got away. It was always a weird compliment and then a stab like “you’re book smart but you’re not common sense smart” or “you’re pretty but you’re too skinny”. I FEEL for this woman, I can only wish her and anyone else who has been through this HEAL ❤
I’m sorry you ever had to deal with anyone like that. You are smart because you got away and now you know what to look out for. ❤
I really hate when a person tells me I lack common sense it's really the deepest dig
Girl, did we date the same guy? That book smart comment, word for word, exactly what he said to me.
That’s exactly the type of things my ex-husband used to say. You are nobody without me, no one likes you, you’re fat (I weighed 120 lbs). He cheated but blamed it on me. I was broken and finally threw him out but it took 17 years
I am a PTSD therapist at a domestic violence/sexual assault crisis center and your story is one that I will share with my clients. You so eloquently describe how people become vulnerable to abusers. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery. and thank you for fighting to leave so your daughter and the child in you can heal. You are amazing
@@itsjust_deanna Wow...that is extremely thoughtful. I sent you an email
Can people just have traits of narcissism? Sometimes it rubs off from The narcissist who is in your life. That's what happened to me! It took a long time to heal however, I did pick up a lot of his narcissistic traits and I have to be very mindful because that's not who I am.
@@winros Absolute everyone can have narcissistic traits. But the difference is that a true narcissist has almost all the traits and it’s the core of who they are.
@@itsjust_deanna Thank you! ✌🏼
@@winros everyone can have symptoms of most disorders, but for a diagnosis, the person has to have a certain number of symptoms/criteria that the DSM-V lists. Also, what most don't know is that cluster B personality disorders, like npd, are usually a trauma response from childhood and sometimes is treatable. The therapist, though, almost always has to be very skilled in DBT before progress can be made
How he managed to convince her she isn't beautiful is beyond me. Even with her childhood and her mindset, the very first thing I noticed in this video was how gorgeous she is. I thought it throughout the whole video, she's so so pretty. Everything about her is beautiful, and I'm so glad she can see that about herself now.
Thank you. Most importantly I’ve learned there is so much more than that. ❤
@@itsjust_deanna Absolutely there is, your inner strength is the most beautiful thing about you, it shines through and makes your surroundings lighter. Congratulations for getting yourself through everything, it sure wasn't easy.
@@monysugardogs8959 Thank you 🙏🏼
Everybody tells me this too, but I disagree.
That's what men like that do. They always pick the most beautiful, strong, intelligent, creative, and talented, good hearted women. That's their specialty. And they play mind games, gaslight, and twist all we say because they can't communicate, and tell us we're the problem. It's all our fault. They hate our whole family and we're just like them but they only love us. I never was taught that people can and will do this to people they"love". Nobody taught me, that the one person you trust me than anyone else, and are supposed to be protected by could do things like that. Now I know the truth. And you can only recognize these things in others if you've been through it all yourself. I hate this world, not just because of the greed, the hate, and the broken systems. It's because for some reason, a person can be screaming at the top of their lungs in a crowded place and nobody cares to help. They only point, laugh, and judge, and join in with the abusers. Treat us like we're crazy. And he always used the word, "dillusional", which was not in my vocabulary. Now I know, the only people that do have that word in theirs and use it, are the type that traits attention from themselves, and then it to others. 😢
There are famous women this happens to also. Sharon stone. Shania twain. Sandra bullock. And they also cheat and bring stuff back to us, when we're being loyal and not cheating. 😢 it's the hardest thing to keep yourself, I'm but a shell now. Just because the outside is gorgeous, doesn't mean we're not tainted. Please remember this. ❤❤❤
@@WillBlindYouWithLight I completely get what you are saying. It’s all so true especially the part about people watching instead of helping. That’s why I keep speaking out about all this. I want people to be aware of what is going on and how deeply it affects people. The more educated people are the more they are willing to help. Unless they are part of the problem too of course.
She mentioned at one point she didn’t leave him because she was too weak at the time. I think we so often see our survival instinct as weakness. But every single moment of her story shows her incredible strength and resilience.
Thank you so incredibly much. I honestly never looked at it from that perspective.
Say it sister.
@@VinascoXperienceThe fact that you would leave such a vile comment like this says a Lot about the kind of person you sadly are. To say someone “deserves” abuse because they made bad decisions is absolutely disgusting. But guess what? Without those bad decisions I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t have an amazing friend like his “first wife” who wasn’t his wife but you missed that part and I would be the incredibly strong woman I am today who is sharing her story and trying to help others. I learned from everything I went through so I can teach others not to make the same mistakes. I’m thankful for every lesson and I’m thankful for the life I have today. I want to help and be a light to others. What kind of legacy do you think you are leaving behind with this behavior? Do better
@@VinascoXperience You said I “deserved what I got” which is the fact that I was in an abusive relationship. So twist it around as much as you want that’s exactly what you said. I also never said I was weak. Most of the decisions we make as adults are based on how we grew up. You obviously don’t want this channel much because it’s the most common theme here. I never made excuses or didn’t take responsibility for anything. I explained why my mindset was the way it was. I was only 17 when I met him with the mindset of probably a 12-13 year old because of how I was raised. Turning 18 makes people adults by law, it doesn’t mean they are emotionally adults unless they are raised to be. People who look to understand instead of just judge get it. You never will and that’s ok. I also would never judge anyone who is in an abusive situation man or woman. I listen and try to understand. The fact that you make it about me being a woman also tells me a lot about your character. You not agreeing with someone else’s decisions doesn’t make you a bad person. But the way you react and treat others does.
It's the trauma bond playing out too not exactly weakness
Such a beautiful, well-spoken lady. I hope she has found peace and happiness ❤
Thank you, I truly have ✨♥️🫶🏼
@@itsjust_deanna💕🙏🏻💕
She’s absolutely stunning. Even her hands are pretty. 💕
The worst part about sharing one’s narcissist encounter is how difficult it is to explain to others. Especially those who have never had a relationship with a narcissist. In the end your still the one that sounds crazy.
I couldn’t agree more.
Was your abusive ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?
@@rv706 Are you speaking to me or the person who left the original comment?
@@rv706noone gets formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder unless they seek out therapy themselves AND their narcissism is objectively ruining their own lives (that they can't keep a job, they mess up their finances, they're unable to sustain relationships with other people etc).
Most narcissists will never admit to being "the problem", as being unable to even think of that as a genuine possibility is part of the diagnose. They will not seek help for their own sake. They will only use therapy as a weapon against their "loved ones" if they ever decide to go.
They will also easily manipulate psychologists who are not specifically trained to spot narcissistic traits and spot narcissistic abuser-victim dynamics in couple's therapy.
Check out Dr Ramani on youtube if you'd like to learn more about narcissism from a clinical point of view.
Right 😔
My mother was a malignant narcissist. I was probably 60-something before I began to realize how ill she was, and what the effects had been on me. I was 56 when she died, and my reaction was sheer relief.
I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that type of parent. I completely understand how you felt when she passed. I hope you have been able to heal ♥️🙏🏼
Malignant narcissism is not an illness. A psychiatrist cannot treat it.
Still, I am sorry what you went through.
@@sloftyIf you don't mind...What do you think or know narcissistic personalities to fall under then? If not a mental condition? Deliberately Abusive? Intentional Harm & Hate ? Just Simply Evil? That sure is what it feels like ... just curious...
@@sloftyit is a mental illness… what do you mean it’s not an illness? Some cancers are malignant and aren’t treatable
It’s sad my mother just passed this year and I found out a few months before she passed that she was covert and she didn’t even know why she was the way she was…. I believe it is a demon.
I can't get past her complete beauty, inside and out. I also was raised by narcissists and then married (now divorced from) a sociopath. life is such a head trip.
She is seriously so gorgeous
Same, this is one of the stories that hit every single one of my traumas, raised by narcissists, married a sociopath, divorced and now I’m married with a beautiful family, a peaceful home, a college education and a job I love. Going back to school too for a doctorate’s since it’s always been a dream of mine.
@@Lowdermoomoo I’m very happy for you. Congratulations, honey. ❤
Isn’t it…
It seriously is. I hear you about marrying a sociopath
Just left a 6 yr relationship with a NPD I’m so damn messed up. Never thought I’d let myself just disappear. More attention needs to be put on this type of abusive relationship
It truly does. I’m so glad you made it out. I hope you are able to heal and move on to have a beautiful life 🙏🏼♥️
You hang in there; You will over come and be ok 😏
yes, you are correct. Narcs need to be outed, asap!
She is so grounded and strong. Dealing with a narcissistic partner is extremely exhausting. Especially when children are involved.
Tell me about it its absolute madness 😫
Currently there are no issues because I haven't started dating and trying to heal first. But I know once I do start dating it's gonna go downhill
But you CHOSE your partner!
@@PardonMyPresence maybe look up info on narcissists
@@L8bloomerrIt always takes 2. You should look up vulnerable narcissists as well.
I've been nodding my head the entire time she described the narcissist. Spot on.
she’s a soldier for not telling her mom so that she wouldn’t feel bad. i would have done a whole monologue. like girl you left me to the WOLVES
Me too 😂
OMG girl yes, she said they lived on a lake too. Seems like they were in a better situation. “Mama, save me”.
no but same! lol! Deanna is such a sweetheart! Thinking of everyone but herself!
😂 Right! And I’m bringing ALL the receipts too 😤….TF lol
it shows how empathetic she is. caring about her moms feelings more than her own 🥺❤
One of the most beautiful people you have interviewed both inside and out. A truly inspirational story for so many people to learn from. Thanks for sharing Deanna
Thank you so incredibly much for those kind words 🙏🏼✨♥️
I can relate to being in a relationship with a narcissist. After 23 domestic violence cases, 6 trials, 6 restraining orders, and he was sentenced to 5 years in prison, I left. The final year was the hardest because I had to file police reports against him contacting me via phone calls, letters, his family contacting me for him via emails and text messages. That final year I had to testify in 4 trials. He still continues to harass me. Because of the physical abuse I took gun safety classes. It’s not easy but getting out is worth it. My saving grace is my parents. You’re a strong mama and I’m proud of you for walking away and sharing your story.
Congratulations on getting out and on the chance for a new and better life.
Wow I can’t imagined. I’m pleased with you
I tend to substitute the word ‘proud’ with please bc of my faith. I’m happy for you tht you got out
why do you women choose men like that then? is it hard to just choose a guy who is nice? smh, always the same with women.. you admire k1llers as well. it's pathetic
At this point I hope he kills me, 9 police reports with photos, tro and all and it still won’t end. I’m tired. My heart sings for your happy ending.
@@hollig9963 Im sorry to hear that, don't you have someone you can reach out to? Move somewhere else or such... what is stopping you from leaving? if police doesn't do anything, contact organizations that work with such cases, as well as churches or politicans - so they may give you shelter or help.
No man should act like that towards their partner..
or don't you have those type of organization in US?
Deanna is breaking generational curses and setting a new course for herself and her daughter. I hope her life just keeps getting better and better❤
I’m trying to 🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna nothing in this world is going to stop you. I'm sorry about so many things. I hope one day you get to know the true Christ. A toxic church can be very destructive and a good one can be very healing.
You are so intelligent and beautiful. I hope one day you can use these horror stories to help others heal.
Thank you for sharing.
You can do this your so beautiful and God has a plan for you
It's hard
@@itsjust_deanna ❤❤❤
It's so wild to me how you truly can never tell somebody's struggles. This woman is perfect, she looks perfect, she speaks perfect. And to know when she was a child she was sad, scared and isolated just breaks my heart. Ultimately these struggles must have really created a diamond because I can't see how anybody wouldn't love this woman. I love her.
This is the comment I was looking for. I agree. Love her
Nobody is perfect that’s the only thing i disagree with
Yes, she is very well read and seems very articulate in her speech to have not been educated. I see her parents hiding them inside to cover up the abuse...not wanting the kids to speak to anyone. I don't think it was "racism", or why adopt kids of other races? In this case it sounds like the boyfriend and his parents were the ones who were the racists..
@@paulalowery7411sounds like she adopted these kids of different races so that she looked like a Saint "helping the poor black babies"...it was for attention.
This broke my heart and almost had me in tears. My mom went through the same thing. My mom had the same mindset "Wait until they turn 18". If any of you relate to her story, please listen. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT. Your children know and see the abuse that is going on. My mom didn't see the light until my sister and I told her that we rather be without a dad than see her be hurt every day. Honestly, it is better to be alone than have your child in that harmful situation because 9/10 times the cycle will continue as we see.
I’m so sorry you and your family went through this. You are 100% right! As parents we think we are doing the right thing staying with an abuser to our kids can have “Both parents” “A normal life” etc. But we are just teaching them that abuse is normal and acceptable so the cycle continues and they end up in abusive relationships. We have to break the cycle and show them that it’s never ok to let anyone abuse them. I have made it my mission to enforce that in my daughter. To never accept anyone who treats her badly. Even if it’s just a friend. We teach them from our experiences ♥️🙏🏼
Mark, no lie, this is one of your best interviews. You hardly had to aak anything but you gave this strong, intelligent, beautiful woman a platform to share this compelling story of her life, her survival and her outlook for the future.
Well done!
This is why I keep coming back to your channel. I never know who you will meet that will teach us something new, give us hope, or help us process.
Thank you, Deanna, for sharing with us your heartbreak, your triumphs and your fortitude. You are an inspiration and I hope we see more of you as an advocate and as a leader in the coming days, your light can be a positive influence in this dark world.
All the best to you and your daughter, always.
Thank you so, so much for your encouraging and kind comments. They are so appreciated and mean so much 🙏🏼
@@infinitejest.4994 Thank you so much. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this interview. When I discovered this channel and ones like it and heard other people’s stories I didn’t feel alone anymore either. I sometimes felt like I was the only one with a story like mine. But hearing from others who went through the same and made it out and are happy and healed inspired me so much. I wish you so much love and continued healing ❤️
Indeed indeed 🥂🤌🏾🦋
She is so beautiful. You never know what people go thru. I’ve learned a lot from this channel. Deanna has a heart of gold.
Hahahahahahahahahaahah you are so stupidly naive 😂
She is absolutely stunning! Serious natural beauty. The assholes in her life were most definitely jealous. 💯
Deanna has no idea how her story will impact others. What a beautiful soul. God bless her!
Thank you 🙏🏼
You go girl! Leaving the narcissist is the hardest task, especially when kids are invading. I have been through and relate to all. Power to you. You are strong and beautiful, your daughter is lucky to have you. ❤
It is so hard! I’m so glad you were able to make it out as well 🙏🏼♥️✨
How she did not use substances to escape her reality is a miracle. What a well adjusted person especially after all of that. The chances of a person with her life experiences turning out to be this smart, lovely, well mannered, empathetic, sane, and responsible are very minute. Good for her! I feel so awful about her as a child and having to go through so much toxic abuse. We need to monitor foster & adopted children better as a community. Something needs to happen..
Thank you so much for your kind comment. Because I knew both my parents had substance abuse problems I always had a fear of becoming addicted myself. The odds of it happening are very high when you have addicted parents. So I always stayed away from substances.
my narcissistic husband blames my drug addiction for his behavior… I use BECAUSE of his behavior!! but a narcissist will never take accountability for their actions. my husband’s abuse has scarred me for life.
No lie
@Deanna You were super smart to avoid substances, but I currently still struggle. I'm trapped, but planning my escape 🙏🏾
@@ab7523 Same here, Sister! We will preservere! Please start working out a master plan & escape! It's what I'm doing
When she said the nice woman from the adoption agency broke rule, and reached out to her grandmother... I teared up. Cause I knew, that was a huge, positive turning point for her... to know her origin....and I just wanted her to win so badly...
Her story touches my heart so much.
Thank you, Young Lady.
Thank you for sharing your Truth
NEVER tell a narcissist that you are leaving. Just leave quietly.
That’s what I tell everyone now. Never let them know your plans.
That's what my mother had to do and my cousin's mom
That’s what I had to do, but he continues to try to make my life hell 1 year later…
Why?
@@Zara-r5m1rBecause that’s when they will get the most violent and controlling to stop you from leaving. So many have lost their lives due to this.
A great interview. The picture - with her arms crossed, and a determined look, made me smile. She's strong, battle tested, I have confidence in her. I bet she's a great mother. She's beautiful, as well. I hope she gets the life she deserves ( I bet she will )...
Thank you so very much. I love the life I have now and I’m grateful every single day ♥️🙏🏼
Her trauma kept her waiting for someone else to rescue her every time she was hurt and abused. I am glad she finally came to her own rescue. Well told story!
Absolutely spot on
💯% and she seems like a beautiful person who's been through some of the ugliest things.
I've been there and I think her brain was pretty much scrambled. I left after being in her situation. I got through it by hanging out with positive people and watching comedy. I filled my time with laughter. I still don't date because a narcissist will never stop
I had an affair w/ someone I believe to be narcissistic. I feel for you just as I felt for his wife. He made me feel like we had a special connection but really when push came to shove he wasn’t going to leave his wife. I feel u r that wife and I am not in competition or envious of u. I pray from both of u to grow…. To know when people r loving u in a possessive way vs a unconditional way. And for the narcissist, to know the difference between attention and true love.
This is so key!
I started crying when she was speaking about meeting her biological mother and telling her that her life was good, just to protect her mothers feelings.
I wish her all the best in life going forward. She deserves it. ❤
Thank you 💖
I know, such a heartbreak of a story. I hope she finds happiness ❤ She is such a sweet person and gorgeous looks
same here, you are so strong and I hope that you stay with with people who make you happy 🥰🥰🥰
@@itsjust_deanna that moment when you mentioned not hurting your biological mom really hit home. I have a good relationship with my mom… and I would never want to be cause of her pain. Like her ended up with a narcissist and thought abuse was normal.
To this day I just want to protect her and not let her know any hurt.
@@FlowerGrl20 No matter what we always get to protect those that we love ❤️
As an adoptee with abusive adoptive parents, this really resonated with me on so many levels. The isolation, the constantly being torn down, the church garbage, one parent covering for the other's abuse. Even not feeling bad when my dad passed, and getting caught up in a narcissistic relationship.i understand so much of this
I’m so sorry you also experienced this. I hope you are at a place of happiness and healing now.
I hope things are going good for you. you deserve it. get yours.
I so get that. Both my bio parents are dead and there's not a day that oes by that I actually miss their presence. I was abused, gaslit and conditioned into constantly trying to connect to them and tolerating their spirit crushing abuse until the day they died. It took years after their deaths to even begin the "deprogramming" stage of life and start to see them in their truth... a process that is excruciatingly painful to go through. Imo, there's no shame at not feeling sad, and even feeling legit happy, when an abusive parent (finally) dies.
@@movingonandup322I felt every bit of this in my soul. I’m so sorry for what you must have endured. I wish I could give you a hug ❤
@@itsjust_deanna Awwwww... thank you so much Deanna! That means the world to me. If what I posted resonated with you due to your own abuse and/or neglect, then I am sorry for what you have gone through as well. In any event though, big virtual hugs to you Deanna and thanks again for your loving and supportive post to me!💗💟😊
My goodness, she is stunningly beautiful!
Edit: that was just my initial thought in the beginning of her story but wow! She's been thru SO SO much! Strong and beautiful. Impressive she can still stand so tall n have such a strong presence and speaking voice. The confidence
Thank you so much ♥️🙏🏼
I’ve been waiting for soft white underbelly to cover narcissism. Please more narcissistic content. It’s so prevalent and the source of a lot of the issues that people on the channel face, narcissistic abuse.
I’m so thankful for this brave women sharing her story.
Yes! I have some narcissist abuse to share as well. 5+ years…
Can relate.
‘You have to forgive people who aren’t sorry’. Wow. No truer words spoken.
If not you will never be able to move forward.
This made me cry when she said it but it’s so hard
For me that seems impossible. But the older I get, the more this statement is true
Easier said than done 👍
@@maryelyearick7572 For sure.
The fact that I see Deanna replying to almost everyone in the comments tells me what a beautiful, sweet, kind soul she is!
Thank you! I love interacting with everyone and so many people have shared their stories with me as well ❤️
Or maybe shes a narcissist too
@@NoBoxingNooLifeReally, how so?
@itsjust_deanna since u asked I'd say your more of the vulnerable narcissist.
@@NoBoxingNooLifeNo I asked how so. I am a complete stranger who you don’t know from a hole in the wall. So what evidence do you have to support such a claim?
As I sat here listening to her story it shook me to my soul. Brought tears to my eyes. So glad to see she's in a better place now. I've been there and I'm still on my journey back.
Thank you so much, I’m glad you are as well 🙏🏼
How does someone turn out to be so nice after going through such horrible childhood and younger years is beyond me. I am wishing her all the best ❤
I would say GOD!!! Just like everyone no the difference between night and day! Just like Satan exist GOD does as well. He created everything and everyone. He has no beginning or ending. The Alpha and Omega. Jesus is coming soon.
it might be pessimistic, but tbh I think she's a narc. She shaped the story to avoid certain things you can infer she was doing. The same way she describes the husband and mother doing when talking to others.
A key to me is looking from the daughter's perspective. Did she ever do what was best for her daughter? f no. Oh I'm staying with this abusive narc because of my daughter? Remember before the daughter was born she used a different excuse?
She cares about her daughter in so far as it affects how she looks to other people. She wanted things from that relationship and didn't care if it affected someone else so long as she could make it appear she wasn't being selfish. Like any narcissist.
So the answer I would guess is she's not such a nice person.. she is a narc, a product of other narcs, and unless she is self aware and counteracting that behavior she is as bad as any of them. The irony on narcissism is that narcs hate other narcs more than anything, and they completely miss the irony because everyone believes they're a good person. That's why there's so much evil in the world, all humans are innately blind to their own evil. Even if people claim to want to be good, how can they be.. as far as they know, they are.
Nah . Don’t bring a sky daddy into it
@@brwynn Daddy God has and continues to help me through so much. He got me to safety from a narcissist. A junkie who had physical abused me.
Because you don’t want to be anything like the son of a bitch who abused you. But in the end it screws you to be so empathetic and you have to learn a bit of the coldness that you’ve never wanted to be or have in your life again. And you honestly feel sorry for the miserable ppl who do this to you because you know they are sick. It’s a real weird dynamic. All you want to do is give & feel love that you never got.
Mark please bring her back & keep us updated on her story. Well spoken ❤ love this
Thank you ❤️
@@itsjust_deanna I can relate to all this, in one way or the other.
@@itsjust_deanna your welcome 🙂 we loved it
As someone who stuck by a narcisist girlfriend for almost decade, stealing all my teen age years and the early part of my 20s who only recently is recovering, I can say that the worst thing about being with a narcissist is the constant guilt you feel while you are the one being victimized. Narcissists are so selfish and evil that they won't even allow you to pull yourself back up since you are in a constant swing between the pain they cause you and the suffering they make you go through thinking you are the one hurting them and so they justify their behavior. Thanks Deanna for making me feel less lonely while I go through my journey hoping to fully heal one day ❤
You describe it so accurately. You definitely aren’t alone. There are so many in these situations or healing from them. You will get there in time, just keep moving forward and never look back. Wishing you the best.
@@itsjust_deannaThank you so much for giving me strength throughout your story. You are a wonderful human being that didn't let her terrible experiences overshadow everything awesome you had inside. I will try my best to use my own trauma to become the best version of myself too. Wish you and your daughter the best, you deserve it ❤❤
I just away from mine, same situation. All my teens and early 20s. She’s a soulless monster
Finally left my extremely narcissistic ex so grateful..
M m pp
To the lawyer who listened to this woman, and helped her, thank you.
He’s an angel in disguise truly 🙏🏼
I’m so glad she’s forgiving and chose not to be a product of her environment. I’m rooting for you!
Thank you so much! ❤
This woman is an amazing storyteller. I was hooked the whole time. She is extremely inspiring.
DITT0 !!!!❤❤❤❤
Me too. I thought I'll check it out for few minutes but I watched her whole story.
The number 1 thing when leaving a narcissist or abuser: Dont tell them that you are leaving! Make a plan, protect money, keep evidence of abuse before they know what you plan to do!
Leaving is the most dangerous time in these relationships. It is when they snap and could even kill you.
Yes because if not they will make u react record keep track of your reactions and use it against u
Agreed
Thats how i left w 6$, i realized i dont need nothing just me alive for my son
❤
Don’t tell him that your daughter told you things.
You deserve an amazing life, thanks for sharing your story, you bring a lot for people. Have fun now.
Paris here.
Her childhood groomed her to be abused. Even though he was horrible, it was familiar to her. I’m so happy she got her life & she’s still working on herself.❤
Yup the right wing Christians are the real groomers despite them screaming that word at everyone else
Can you please explain how?
@@sweetcaroline7107 most times we marry people with similar characteristics (unconsciously) because it feels familiar & we grow comfortable with the feeling quickly
@@theshytshow2159 You hit the nail on the head. It wasn’t until I was out of it and looking back that I realized how normal the dysfunction was.
You put it perfectly. Her childhood did groom her to be abused. I have lived that life a thousand times and I still struggle. It’s the utter disbelief that your flesh and blood could be your biggest enemy and downfall. It’s a hard pill to swallow and a heavy load to bear.
She’s so beautiful inside and out. The fact that she still had grace while describing her adoptive parents.
6 minutes in and I am ptsing myself. Sounds a lot like my childhood growing up. I also ended up with a narcissist but broke free. Love and strength to you.
So many of us share the same story. I hope you are happy and healed today ❤✨🙏🏼
Same
It was the first time for me to hear someone else's experiences so hurtfully relatable to my own
They all play from the same play book! It’s insane, completely resonated. So glad you are free now as well! 💛
They literally are all carbon copies of each other. Thank you 🙏🏼
While listening, I kept thinking: if I'd had a child with my narc husband, this is what my life would have been. You are so strong, Deanna! I am cheering for you!
Thank you so much! Yeah having a child definitely makes things harder and more complicated. I’ll never regret having my daughter as she is my entire world. But I never recommend having a child wish this type of person.
so you do have a narc husband? leave!!!
I did! Thanks!@@gamigam2718
@@gamigam2718it's not your place to tell someone to leave a relationship.
@@mschellylove3588
And it's not your place to tell someone they can't say what they want.
So there's that
Lefty
This story was so deep and necessary to hear. Would definitely appreciate hearing more narcissistic survival stories.
Deanna's story of surviving a marriage to a narcissist offers a glimpse into the psychological abuse and trauma victims endure, and highlights the importance of healing and self-love. This is an inspirational content, this should be featured on Off the Record.
So much of what she says resonates. My mother is a narcissist and i had a string of abusive adult relationships because i knew no different and thought that behaviour was normal. The damage, trauma, confusion and bewilderment done should never be underestimated. What an amazing, beautiful woman. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Narcisistic parents have zero empathy they should not be allowed around kids.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. I hope you are in a much better place today 🙏🏼♥️
This was my favorite one . I was raised by a narcissist and I kept dating narcissistic men until I stop the cycle by going to therapy… I can relate just like Deanna I’m beautiful inside and out but with a lot trauma to work through… may God bless her beautiful soul❤
You like what you like..may god give you a man you can handle.
Sending ❤
What is the 1 thing you can suggest to stop attracting narcissistic men to me?
@@vt1764 I've dated narcissists and they often manipulate you into thinking they are "nice" guys . I've even had them put me in a pedestal. Read about the characteristics and when you see the first red flag ....run . They tend to run after you and stalk but just keep running and get a restraining order if need be .
@VT, learn to love yourself. I believe this is key. We may be magnets to this disordered kind, due to being raised by them. But you will no longer fall prey to these predators once you begin to have boundaries, and self love and respect the minute they try to cross your boundaries or disrespect you. Another thing I’ve learned to do is, watch and see if a persons actions match their words. If not, that’s enough for me to move on.
Being raised by a narcissist will lead you to being a magnet to spouses that are narcissistic.
So many echos in this story. You are beautiful and this is so brave of you to share with the world. Thank you! I learned so very much from this.
Same, we even look alike
For myself it was emotional neglect. Took me a long time to understand td and parental rejection sets you up to meeting narcissistic people.
True. I did this myself
I left a narcissist 4 years ago. I was told the next step for him would be to kill me. I was terrified. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so glad you made it out. Thank you for listening ❤
4 years ago, I also ran for my life. He literally threatened to kill me.
@@karenk2409 I’m so sorry! I’m glad you made it out 🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna I did. It took a couple of years of court cases and counseling to regain my health, but it was so worth it. Getting free of these malicious people is a gauntlet we need to walk, but there is peace and health on the other side, my friend!
When i left my ex he fought me endlessly thro the courts, trying to empty every cent we had in the bank. I got a will written, as i expected he would kill me. I had our 6 yr old son, that his mother wanted. It was hell. We made it out alive.
Deannna Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You are a beautiful young, strong woman. You are an absolute super role model for your daughter.. Peace and love ❤
Thank you so much for your kindness 🙏🏼♥️
She's had it so tough and you can tell she's nice person with a lot of hurt, I just really hope that she gets to live happily and peacefully from now on. Be extra kind to her if you ever meet her she deserves it!
Thank you I truly appreciate your kind words ❤
I believe that's how we should treat every person, because we simply don't know who they are, or what they have been through, or going through.
@@itsjust_deanna You, my friend, are a diamond, in a mountain of rock. You're beautiful, you sparkle, I can't stop looking at you, and I know first hand how hard narcissism makes a person. I wish I could offer hope about meeting someone, I know it is possible, but it sure feels like standing on the sidewalk in front of the Empire State building, and looking up, when the only place worth getting to, is the very tip. And, I'm just talking anyone, friends even. I don't want to talk to anyone in my family, I went dark on all my friends, overnight, any work I am experienced in is surrounded by people, so I feel I can't do those jobs, and that leaves me with no work value.... ALL narcissists. .... It's our culture. I think NOT being a narcissist is a personal spiritual achievement.
The only advice I can give, is to really learn what it means to be comfotable in your own skin, to not need anyone else to validate you, to not need a person you can be coupled with and say you love them, in order to feel love. You are from nature, that's where your healing will start and end. And, only Truth shall set you free. Something a narcissist never experiences.
Good luck, princess. Lots of love.
Peace
@@blackopal3138 Completely agree ❤️
A
A
Videos like this are important. This is so common. People need to learn what to do when in these situations. Being with a narcissist is dangerous and you can't just leave like it's with a normal person.
Thank you. I just wanted to share so I can help bring awareness about these things.
@@itsjust_deannayou did a great job. Very relatable
@@lisapizza6494 Thank you ❤️
@Broski Snowski how do you tell
@@janiahhill7758 Brosick Sosick is Trolling, just ignore him.
This girl is telling my story, I feel her pain. Bless her for learning from everything and escaping alive.
I hope you are ok now too ❤
This! No one believes it because it is so crazy you literally can’t make it up….
Same here sweetheart
Wow!! This is so well narrated and such a powerful story. You are such a strong and resilient soul and this story has the power to make great impact. Thank you so much for sharing your story❤❤❤
Thank you for listening ♥️
Deanna’s story hit so close to home with me. My mother and ex husband are both narcissists and I’m cleaning up the emotional mess they both made of my life. I don’t know how Deanna has the courage to be in a relationship because I’m so traumatized that I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I’m terrified to get close to anyone. The hard part with being a victim of narcissistic abuse is that most people don’t believe you since the narcissist acts like an innocent angel in front of others. When a victim tells you their story please believe them no matter how much of a good person the perpetrator is.
Such a strong message here. I’m so sorry for everything you have endured. If you aren’t in therapy already, it truly does help. I’m sending you so much love and wishes for healing ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for the well wishes Deanna and I send them right back at you. I’ve been in therapy for 10 months now and I don’t know what I’d do without it. The catalyst that got me into therapy was finding out my husband was a fentanyl addict. A narcissist under the influence of fentanyl is scary and it turned him into an absolute monster. I don’t miss him one bit and have realized how precious peace is. You are very courageous to have come forth to tell your painful story, but it’s not all painful. You seem to be on the right track to living a life free of toxicity.
Same , Narc mom and Narc recent ex husband. He also acts like the good guy. He makes me feel crazy but so does my mom.
@@ZFern9390 I’m sorry. Just know that you aren’t and what you are experiencing is real and your feelings are valid.
Were your mother and ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?
I’m currently going through a separation/divorce from a narcissist and your story has brought me many tears but has also brought me some strength. I hope I can be as strong as you one day. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing your story.
This is exactly why I wanted to share. I want people who are going through similar things to know there is hope and you can make it out. Stay strong and keep going 🙏🏼♥️✨
Yesss same!!! ❤❤❤
When you’re done with a narcissist NEVER announce it to them! Behave as if nothing has happened and ESCAPE AND GO TOTAL NO CONTACT to another state if possible (there, I just described my escape fantasy to you)
The best thing to do if possible.
You can escape!!
Yup. That’s exactly what I had to do myself years ago. He was going to end up k*lling me, or I was going to unalive myself. He was horrible and obsessive.
@@goblinfood9786. I married someone like that. I had family who seemed to think I should just wait for him to die, so I could get something out of it, financially. They didn’t know that the chances of surviving the abuse and someone squeezing you for all your energy and labor are low. By the time I got out, I didn’t even know who I was. Getting out of the black hole was the best choice I ever made! He was not about to let me get out alive, with “his” money, none of which he would ever have had without my labor and endless support. If someone doesn’t value you, leave if it can. It’s not worth it!
Unless theres a child invovled and the plot thickens 😢
What an amazing inspiring woman. Sounds like she has broken generational trauma and I wish the best for her and her daughter. ❤
Thank you so much ♥️
I cried during several parts of Deanna 's story. If I saw her in a restaurant, I would have thought to myself, "That gorgeous woman must have it all...just a perfect life." I work with families in crisis, so hearing that her adopted mother created a cottage industry by taking in children in need reinforced my worst fears. All of the abuse committed by both the adoptive parents is heartbreaking. Then, to hear what she experienced from her narcissistic partner made me cry more. The victims of DV with whom I work and their children so often choose to return to their abuser. That has been one of the hardest aspects of my work to understand. Deanna, like others who have shared their stories with Mark and us, is helping me be more empathetic and less judgmental of those who choose what is familiar to them or who know what the abuser is capable of doing. A young man who murdered a lovely teen-aged mother and their baby boy in 2017 was just given two life sentences without the possibility of parole. I see Deanna and think of what that sweet girl could have been had she survived. I wish for Deanna many years of joy and may her pain and memories diminish with each passing day. Thank you, Deanna, for being a survivor and an inspiration!
Thank you so much fir your kind words. It’s so sad that young woman lost her life to her abuser. One if the biggest reasons I wanted to speak out. People see victims of domestic abuse and all they can say is “Why don’t they just leave.” They have no idea how complicated it is and the reason why so many people end up in those situations to begin with. I want educate people so they can have more empathy and understanding. Also to help people know what to avoid when choosing partners and to help others that they see in bad situations. We can’t fix the problem ourselves. But bringing awareness is definitely a start. Thank you for the support 💖
All those tatts you really would have thought she had a perfect life😒 I swear the world is stoopid🤦🏽♀️ Anytime folks have all those tatts, lip piercing etc they had a shitty life🤷🏽♀️
@@TSM-tv8hy That’s definitely not accurate whatsoever. Body art doesn’t equal a hard life. But interesting comment.
@@TSM-tv8hy I don't share your insight into the psychology of ink or piercings. I didn't have my ears pierced until I was 40 because my evangelical mother believed only gypsies had pierced ears and I wanted my first pair of real diamond studs. I have no ink or other piercings because I loathe needles and pain. That doesn't mean I lack my share of emotional baggage. Your premise is flawed, IMHO.
Why is it hard to understand why people return to their abusers? If you are working with this population, have you not been trained on all of the forces acting on the abused that push them back to their abusers? It surprises (and disappoints) me that you would have trouble understanding the people you are working with. You can learn all about these forces without too much effort. I hope you will.
Thanks again, Mark. I could listen to Deanna tell her story for hours. What an amazing woman. Her daughter is so lucky to have such a brave mother that loves her so much.
Right!!!! I DIDN’T WANT HER TO STOP!!!!!❤❤❤❤
I always try to prepare myself to hear an absolute horror story as soon as the person says they went into foster care or was adopted. The system is either totally overwhelmed or run by absolute perverted pedophiles. I think its 50/50.
I think its unfortunately both. Lackluster foster parents are accepted at this point because our society has gone through such moral decay, more and more (women especially, which is sick) are caring less and less about babies and children..Which creates broken adults who bave no good coping skills. So, we end up with a world full of instant gratification wrapped addiction just trying to feel better at all! If you didnt have abuse, you cant truly understand why someone would throw obvious warning bells out the window just to have a break from your head..
This is how we create addicts, abusers, murderers....Its infrastructure gets built between 0-5 yrs, then crafted through the rest of adolescence...Its a moral and family unit issue. But look... We've pissed on the truth and value of family unit roles and angrily ripped God from everything. Its pretty clear what the problem is. But, have we become too selfish to change it?
@itsfreshitsanne I completely agree. My brother and I were adopted and we were the very lucky few who got a great home and loving parents. It breaks my heart others weren't given this opportunity, but its due to many factors including what you stated. I hope to one day adopt children and give them all the home they deserve.
Correct. I was in foster care back in the 70s, and my foster father always had his hand down my pants...
I work in social services. Social workers are overwhelmed, there isn’t adequate funding, many of the people drawn to fostering and adoption have ulterior motives, and the few people that really care for the wellbeing of the children are quickly burned out.
@Alexis H I believe it...there needs to be a fully funded system with extremely high oversight. It can happen if you have the right people in place...
I am so proud of you. Where the world is baring its fangs; your story of survival is a reflection of my journey on some levels, & survival is possible. (narcissists devalidate, they gaslight. They are so petty and materialistic.)
I am truly only about 20% healed. Seeing another survivors story is like seeing Shacari Richardson win. Heroic.
This is one of my FAVORITE interviews!! Deanna, you are an inspiration.... and I hope you know that. All the bullshit that others did to you was just fertilizer for the beautiful growth that you've seen in your life. Thank you for sharing your story!
God Bless you and your daughter and thank you so much for sharing your story is so inspiring and you are definitely stronger than you fault.Continue to shine always❤.
She is a strong person.
Thank you so, so much 💖
Deanna, this is a Masterclass in what a narcissistic spouse does. Except for your earlier years, you described what I experienced nearly Word. For. Word.
It is bizarre when you recognize the very textbook behaviors and finally realize your situation is not unique.
You are not alone. Never forget that. ❤
Thank you so much! I think I’ve become an expert on their behavior now. That’s why I want to speak out so that people know they aren’t alone and aren’t crazy. Listening to other survivor’s stories helped me immensely and now I want to to my part to help 🙏🏼
The way you describe your mom is exactly how my wife's behavior is. I've tried hard to protect my kids. Very hard to leave a person
EXACTLY! I went thru lots of the same with my EX. All I can say is THANK GOD he's dead! Yep, I found out he O.D'd/Suicide about 4 years ago. He was up on charges for another DUI and had struck his elderly mother (he was mad because she wouldn't give him money and multiple witnesses saw he do it) so he was up on charges for Elder Abuse. He can't stalk me any more!
I just finished watching your interview. I don't know how I ended up with a narcissistic husband the first time around, because I grew up with parents who treated me VERY well! They were so proud of me, and let me know how precious I was to them; that they loved me dearly, (despite the fact that initially, my mother wanted to abort me. I was "Oops baby" #3). I didn't know what a Narcissist was, but I knew I was in a mostly miserable marriage. I was emotionally and verbally abused for over 20 years. I didn't even know I was being abused, because the abuse was insidious and covert. My self esteem dwindled down to very little over the years but it's back, and I'm re-married to a man who values me, treats me right and is NOT a Narccissist ~:0). I didn't have to deal with my husband having multiple affairs, but I dealt with his jealousy, manipulation, and insecurities. I lost myself as I was guilted into giving up friends, activities and jobs that I loved. Then one day a parent of a child that I cared for gave me the book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, written by Christian Author, Patricia Evans. We seemed to be on every page! Thank you for sharing your story. I want EVERY young girl/woman to watch it and learn from it. Narcissism and abuse should be discussed in schools, starting at the Middle School Level. And in regards to your childhood, SHAME on Social Services for allowing those so called, "Parents" of your's to adopt at all! They didn't deserve you, nor your siblings. Your daughter is blessed to have you for her Mama. And your boyfriend is blessed to have you for his companion. I pray you get to enjoy the rest of your life and that you NEVER end up in a similar situation again!
Mark, this is probably the best interview you've ever done. The other one that stands out is the guy who was molested as a kid, overcame his demons and ended up marrying his childhood sweetheart. Please do a part 2 with Deanna. Very inspiring! Her story gave me much needed hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can't stop looking for the switch.🙏♥️
What an INCREDIBLE woman! To be so humble and forgiving after a childhood of hell is incredible! Those around her should see themselves as blessed! Bless her soul!!! ❤
♥️♥️♥️
I was raised by a narcissist, then spent 26 years married to one before finally getting out. Then quickly found myself in a relationship with another one. I’m finally narc free, and alone. The healing needed from living with a narcissist is an ongoing process, and I expect I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life. I found the best answers came from HG Tudor’s channel, here on UA-cam. I highly recommend his videos, they were most helpful to me beginning this journey. Narcissists are just the WORST people, and they destroy so many lives. Thank you for this video, I’m so happy for this lovely lady now that she’s out.
☮️💖🙏
Thank you so much for sharing and your kind words . I’m sending you so much love and continued healing ♥️🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna right back atcha! 💖😊🙏
The PTSD of narcissistic abuse runs deep. Causes us to make poor decisions based on a false reality. Narcissistic people make their victims dependent on them. The victim relies on the narc to stop the pain that the narc created. Its a twisted co-dependency that is difficult to break.
SOOOOO DEEP 😢UGH
this is so true and my reality 😞right now 😊
@@WLSIV73 ❤❤❤
True facts
That’s what people don’t understand. That’s why it’s so damaging when people victim blame or say Why didn’t you just leave? To domestic violence victims and survivors.
Being w/ a narcissist myself for 23 years… Deanna’s story hit hard on my heart. I wish her and her daughter all the very best. May God bless and keep them both safe always.
I was lucky enough to have great parents and a wonderful childhood. But, my life mirrored Deanna’s from the point of meeting her husband. I was with a narcissistic abusive man for 16 years who did so many of the exact same things. I now have PTSD. Thank you for sharing this!
I’m so glad you got out of it though. I hope you are able to heal and have love and happiness in your life ♥️🙏🏼✨
I hope Deanna's story can inspire you the way she inspires me. Stay strong.
Quite honestly the best interview I have ever seen on here..and I've seen a lot. I think just her honesty and communication is amazing. It lets me understand that forgiving yourself is part of growing up.
Thank you so incredibly much 💖🙏🏼
Nothing's more beautiful than seeing a woman who's been through narcissistic abuse, shine
Thank you! I agree and I celebrate them so much!
💯
Well said. 👍🏽💯💝🌹
Sadly, you only know this when you know the abuse yourself.
For you to recognize the absolute beauty in this means you’ve probably experienced it yourself.
You are probably a badass woman warrior too, Ruby.
She’s dressed like a soldier and she is a hero to her daughter.
it feels like being reborn again 🥹
She is pretty inside and out. Also, her mind is clear, and her speech is coherent, and that makes her more intelligent than many college grads I've met. When her birth mom asked her if she had a good life, she responded with yes, that really touched me. I wish her a very happy life, and she WILL!
Eh… that’s debatable. Her eyes look like they’re going thru a separation.
@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet Wow! Beauty is debatable? lol
@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet let’s see what you look like
@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmeto it’s not debatable, it’s subjective, your opinion doesn’t matter move around hater w/ your “not even a hint of picture”having behind 🙄
@@Ash2beauty Exactly! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
You are such a beautiful person inside & out. My first husband was narcissistic, and unless anyone has been in that position on the receiving end, it’s hard to describe because that toxic behavior really starts to mess with you & it’s hard to break from & heal. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hugs & love to you ❤
You are so right. People don’t understand the toll it takes on your mental health. You stop trusting yourself because they make you feel like you aren’t seeing what you are seeing and experiencing what you know deep down you are. It takes so long to heal and find yourself again. I hope you are doing much better now. Thank you so much for the kind words 🙏🏼♥️
A true testament to human resiliency and strength of spirit. Narc abuse is especially difficult to recover from. Wow, what an inspiration.
Thank you ❤
This woman helped me connect the dots for the person in my world who i believe has this disorder and so I will continue to steer clear of that person's influence for my own wellness.
Thanks Deanna.
Thank you ❤
@@itsjust_deanna Your bad experiences with the "cult" churches is so different than your relationship with your Creator❤ True love Deanna
This is literally my life, adopted from foster by a narcissist who was in control of the household. I was quiet and obedient to stay safe but there was still the emotional, verbal abuse, and extremely controlling.
I dated a narcissist for almost 4 years that behaved exactly as her ex husband. Only difference is that I didn’t marry him or get pregnant.
It took several times but I left him for good. I also set boundaries with my adoptive mother and am now no contact because she controls her entire family.
I’m so much better for it all and am happily married 😌❤. Thank you Deanna, for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️
There is HOPE. THANK YOU
Thank you so much for telling your story! I lived with a narcissist for 33 years before I saw the light. Comes from my mom, my childhood. Bullying at school, no self-esteem and then meeting this man that i looked up to. Toxic from the start but I thought if I try really hard things get better. They didn't. Tension and stress all the time. And when I was about ready to leave he would change instantly and become the nicest man again. Looking back I still wonder how I got sane out if this. My biggest regret is not sticking up for my kids more. They grew up like I did and worse. My oldest went into addiction to forget and I almost lost him. He is clean now for 8 years and my other son 6 years. So proud of them! But the thought of what my kids went through is the only thing that gets me to cry every time.
I am proud of getting my life back after him and at 50 years of age I met this beautiful man. Which was scary at first because I was never used to someone being so nice. I emigrated and literally left my old life behind me. Have great contact with my boys and love them to the moon and back. I forgave everyone that caused me harm, including him. Forgiving doesn't mean you don't hold them responsible, but it allows you to move on.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s all so relatable. You truly feel like you are crazy at times. I have the same regret of not protecting my child more. But all that matters is that we are no longer in those relationships and we have better lives and relationships with our children. I hope you continue to grow and be happy 🙏🏼♥️
Classic
It’s crazy how trauma can break your mind and leave it open for others to prey.
It is! It’s a vicious cycle that will never end until we break it.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
On the same note its crazy how other people learn to be predators that pick out the vulnerable prey. And how they can be so evil
This needs to become a popular quote, and to end with something like "don't tell what trauma you've been through, they could use it to hurt you more"
I swear!!
Never heard anyone tell a story like mine. Almost everything relates to my own story in some way. Being an adopted, homeschooled kid raised by a narcissistic mother is certainly not a tale commonly shared. Thank you for talking about this
Facts narcissists make us feel worthless or like a betrayer if we called out their wrongs
Right?! I finally feel less alone to know I'm not the only homeschooled person raised by a narc mom.
@@Lauren-vw3cn You are not alone! I felt that way too until I started seeing stories like mine. That’s why I wanted to share.
I am also adopted, homeschooled, raised by a mother with narcissistic traits and a victim complex. She wasn’t horrible, but she did have a habit of weaponizing our vulnerabilities as kids and love had a savior complex attached to it. Even though is was not nearly as extreme as this case, not by a long shot, I still find myself having trust and self esteem problems, and have a difficult time talking about my feelings.
@PatDaBaker just being adopted is traumatic. You could have the most loving, wonderful adoptive parents and still have severe abandonment issues. Then place on top of that your parent is not loving and is just making all of the abdomen trauma ways worse whole adding more complex layers of trauma and then in my case being trapped with that mother 24 hours a day with no relief or ability to go anywhere and just be her own personal narcissistic supply farm. Your mother didn't have to be as bad as hers to still cause you harm. Just the foundation of the situation is harmful itself.
I was adopted by my step grandmother. She took all of her hatred for her husband's ex out on me. All of the details may be different in each of our stories but the harm and the pain is the same ❤️
I needed to see this video. Not only to hear Deanna’s story but to gain courage to leave my own abusive relationship with a narcissist. It will be 8 years this July and I’m so ready to leave but so far from it. It’s all I can think about and all I want to do it run from it all. Thank you so so so much Deanna for sharing your words and strength with us.
It doesn't get any better. Start small start getting rid of small things. You will be surprised little makes a lot. THEY will age you and take your health
I am in the same boat. I totally understand the want to run. We can do this no matter where in the process we are. Stay strong and tell yourself, this too shall pass. My prayers to you for you are not alone. 🙏
I left a narcissist eight years ago this month. We were only together for two years, but it felt like a lifetime. I still have issues with anxiety and trauma from the verbal abuse, gaslighting, lying, etc. that went on and I’m in therapy. I would encourage you to slowly make a plan and not alert your partner if you plan to leave. Narcissists tend to retaliate in a huge way. I was cut off from all of my friends and social scene because he lied to everyone and told them terrible things about me when I finally left. I always had my family there for me though, and I couldn’t have gotten out without their support. I wish you the best of luck.
This resonated so much. Leave slowly, and sadly (but not for your own safety, really consider that, along with pets, children, any close relationships etc) be absolutely calculated. That's who they are, calculating, and it may go against your nature to be like that. It's the only way, they think so little of you, so quietly planning your escape, there are organisations all around (find them), won't even register. Plan quietly, stealth organise, and then go. Never look back. As best as you can cut ALL CONTACT. Even it means close friends who enable them, getting authorities involved. Been there, wish you luck🙏
Also they've been lying about you, to whoever will listen, from the very start.
This is why I've always told my daughters from a young age, be selective with who you entertain in your life. It's extremely important.
Because one rushed decision can cause ultimate confusion.
I’m glad you educated them to make good decisions from a young age. Unfortunately I wasn’t as blessed with parents who prepared me for the real world. But I made sure my daughter is.
This was such an amazing interview. She’s truly a strong minded individual and I admire her for that.
Thank you!! At the end of my similar ordeal, a psychologist wrote about me..... "she is unable to entertain even a thought independent of his, his control is so complete." That was in 1986, I was 28, my sons were 6, 3, and 1 and I was granted a divorce from a narcissistic, religious misogynist. Just like you, I had to hit rock bottom in order to pull myself together and move forward. And just like you I did it! It does take a lot of hard work and effort, but I promise you it will be worth it. Congratulations Deanna on your effort to take back your life....I wish you much success!!
You are amazing, af! Just a quick read on your comment and I am floored. Strength to you, darling.
I just ended a 3 year relationship with a narcissist it was mentally emotionally and physically abusive. I didn’t realize he abused me mentally and emotionally until I left. It was like being in a black whole you can’t get out of. Thank God He saved me and my daughter
You are such a strong and beautiful person. Keep being a bad ass survivor!
Jesus loves you
This is wonderful news! Please know they always need their "supply " and will try to get you back, don't do it. A Narcissist DOES NOT change. Stay strong!!
Wow... Deanna, I'm soooo sorry your early years have been very difficult for you, your story is a simular story that so many people have gone through, but the difference with yourself is that you have come through this traumatic time through your own strength and determination to want a better life for yourself and to make sure your daughter does not go through a terrible time as you did, the strength you radiated on screen with you story will give others strength to get the best out of their lives too, your story is one of the best interviews Mark has ever done, you are such a beautiful person inside and out, you have come along way in your life and this is all your doing, Deanna you should be soooo proud of yourself, what an amazing lady you are, now go enjoy the wonderful life you have made for you and your daughter and hold on to that strength you built for yourself, Thank you so much, much love, Jenny from the UK x
Thank you soooooo incredibly much for all your support and kindness!!! ♥️♥️♥️