Annnnd you just described my every day life. I didn’t realize this had names. Especially “memories disappearing as they are happening” I frequently feel like, I’m doing something but I’m forgetting it as it happens. Like I’m aware it’s currently happening but ask me about what I did 30 seconds ago and I’m like idk, but I’m doing it. Smh
We're an OSDD1b system so all this is happening to us 95-100% of the time. The self-puzzlement, or identity confusion, is honestly the worst part. We've had spells of identity confusion last for years where our host/cores didn't understand who they were because of our accidental influence. And even now, our host has a lot of self-doubt since he can influence the rest of us to act and think like him. It's really great you guys are talking about this so more people can begin to heal from the pain it can cause.
@@all_is_well_Mara There are 4 types of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder, but only type 1 deals with the formation of alters. The easiest way to explain it is: DID = at least 2 distinct alters + amnesia barriers while switching. OSDD1a = no distinct alters (instead they usually all identify as the same person, or they may all be fragments) + amnesia barriers while switching. OSDD1b = At least 2 distinct alters + no or very little amnesia barriers at all.
Oh my God...that's me. I am the 'host' and am in that exact position...which lead me to question my diagnosis of DID. And just over the last couple weeks, the idea that I may not be the' actual' core person....crisis going on. I've even contacted another DID dr to give me a 2nd opinion. Yet, now I feel abit more calm.
WE ARE THE SAME HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! Do you know what Covert means? It's like when a system is a lot more sneaky about their symptoms and alters, instead of an Overt System who has a lot of outward symptoms and alters. Our main four alters even look incredibly similar in the mindspace/innerworld. Also some of us dislike that we are "separate" in the fact that, we are uncomfortable with acting different or being exposed like that. Also we have a really hard time with inner voice and thoughts. It's so hard to even hear what we need to hear.
OH MY GODS. Yes. Experience this very often. This just reminds me of an incident that occurred a few years back. I was with my friends at an event. My friend started walking away, and honestly I really don't remember where she was going, all I know is that I don't think I wanted her to go. I was holding a muffin in my hand, and all of a sudden, to my utter horror, I whipped the muffin at the back of her head as she was walking away. It was so confusing because I hadn't ever decided to do it, in fact I had no idea why I would ever do something like that. It was literally as if my arm had acted all on it's own (with very precise aim, I might add). My friend was understandably super pissed at me and I felt awful and totally helpless because I had to take responsibility for something that I never actually did. Understanding passive influence makes it make a ton of sense. And I'm also super used to my thoughts being randomly taken away mid sentence or mid explaining something. It's so embarrassing. I'm lucky I have such understanding friends.
We get this _a lot_ with our little. Anytime he's anywhere close to the front, whoever's out will start acting a bit littler. It was really confusing for us back before we realized he existed 😅 I'll also sometimes get one of the others' accents leaking into my speech or find myself using my left hand. Actually, I have a really good physical example of this! Jake & Loki played D&D together recently, and I wrote their names down for them on our character sheet, and I _know_ it was me who wrote it, but when I went back to look at it later I realized both of their names were in their own handwriting. None of us even realized it had happened at the time lol
I'm fairly certain I have OSDD and my alters only really affect me through passive influence, or something like that since they can front it's just... Weird. That said experiencing the effects of passive influence with no words to describe what you're going through and no idea what could possibly be doing this to you is hell, I had so much identity confusion through all of high school, my sense of style and my hobbies and my gender and sexuality and even my name changed so many times that by the time it was over I had no idea who I was. This current state of identity only appeared because I became so burdened by the emotional impact of this confusion that I could no longer function, so it got seperated off into a persecutor and I got to keep going. I'm honestly really glad for this video because even now I was still worried that I was "faking by accident" somehow because how could I have alters if I was so aware of my differences in behavior and feelings and stuff, passive influence apparently is how
This this this!! Passive influence is a major part of our lives, more than co-fronting or switching. Sometimes I confuse passive influence with sickness, pain, dizziness, irritability, being moody... until one of the system clearly states their thoughts "It's just that I'm tired of being around people." Alexia may say or "I really need to stretch and work out! Is it time for the gym yet???"
I'm part of an OSDD system, passive influence is a huge part of our every day lives. Maybe it makes sense that passive influence is more common in OSDD systems?
We're also OSDD. Since we're all kind of close to front at all times we have more passive influence than our partner who is more of DID. At least that's our explanation of it
I, or rather we, feel the same. We experience a lot of passive influence, but aren't affected by switches in any way, which is making me, Maria, doubt if we even have an identity disorder. We have never talked to anyone about these kinds of feelings, and they aren't causing us trouble in any way. But I don't know if thoughts are mine or someone else's, and it's bothering me sometimes. But most of the time, I forget them. Are these people alters or just imaginary friends? -Maria But there must be a reason for a ~4yo to look in the mirror and think: "This is not what I look like. My hair should be blonde and curly." Or when the boys flat out hate how big our boobs are. -Baylea
This is such a big mood I mean that literally because I feel that alot and have for YEARS. This is part of why I haven't thought for sure why I was a system. I thought it was me subconsciously faking.
I so relate to the dysphoria. I can look in the mirror and be like "when and how did I get so tan and old? What happened from point A to point B that I suddenly look this way?"
This video terrified me, there were so many lightbulb moments going off. There has to be a reason I’m attracted to videos on DID. Another video you did gave me insight on why I always have to have noise around me. I tried to read an article about bringing out your alters, but my internal argument wouldn’t let me read it. My mind is fighting against itself, how do you know when you’re ready to face the possibility of having DID?
I'm not officially dx yet but my drs think DID or OSDD.. I experience this almost daily more than any actual full switch. Like I could be me and be fine and see a person and suddenly my mouth will ask something in a different voice and I'm like why the hell did I say that? Especially like that I sounded so weird and not me.... thanks for you guys doing these vids for the whole system. So helpful and educational
My host has told us once, while in class, he heard a little kids voice calling his name. This was a few months ago. There has been more events such as this but this is the one most fresh in our mind. He was in class and heard our little calling his name. I believe he wanted to tell him that he finished drawing a picture for him but Edward was so focused on the school work he had to block him out. Which upset the little but he understood that we were at school. -Simon.
Passive influence makes a lot of sense of you think about how even normative people might, for example, say a totally different sentence that what they mean to say because they're thinking about a sentence someone just said to them, or how someone might start slipping into an accent if they hear going around them speaking with that accent. When you have so many people in your head it's inevitable that they would influence you simply by when's being exposed to them constantly, and that's before even taking into consideration all of the stuff about sharing the same brain, the same body, adding trauma in there etc
I like that you mentioned Freudian slips! Especially when it comes to so-called neurotypical people! I like to thank that everybody has a form of DID it's just a matter of how covert is it!?
Being non-DID, I definitely could relate to the intrusive/made thoughts. I have intrusive thoughts often and for so long, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me because I kept thinking things I would never willingly think. I can't imagine how much more complex it gets when you add in alters.
I deal with Speech Insertion all the time. It's probably my biggest issue, ya know, besides having D.I.D. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and one of my alters will just start "talking" instead on a completely different topic. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to tell anyone I know personally about my system, so everyone just thinks I'm scatterbrained. Luckily, the same issue doesn't happen very often with texting or typing! But, oh boy, when it does, everyone's confused. P.S. I'm so glad I have been able to find your channel, as well as a few others across the web, that have all helped me so much to realize that we are a valid system, and that I'm not alone. It truly means so much to be able to hear other people talk about D.I.D. in a way that isn't dismissive. All the love in world to the Entropy System
ive been diagnosed with osdd (the evaluators were fairly bad at their job and couldnt even tell me what type of osdd.) and i experience almost no direct contact. when you talked about the childs voice i literally went pale. i have been hearing a child laugh in my room for months i experience every single symptom of passive influence you mentioned. as someone whos denied the reality of the alters for years, it was soooo validating and was a big eye opener edit: this scared me a lot. i also found a comment on this video from a year ago thats from my account. i think a different alter commented that. due to it i now know two names of the alters, mark and natalia
I definitely get the “saying thing you didn’t mean to say” thing. I remember one time I was talking to my parents about my mental health, and my dad was being skeptical, which he does quite a bit. Yet, I said to him “and you wonder why I don’t come to you about stuff like this” with a smug *smile* and I regretted it immediately. I’ve also had thought withdrawal where I was in the middle of a sentence thinking something when it felt like it was snatched away. Yeah I’ve definitely had that feeling multiple emotions and perspectives at once. I remember once time my dad said something that was particularly upsetting to Erika. I remember her being very angry, and myself being “oh no here we go” and I also remember Simon trying to calm Erika down. Temporary loss of skills haha yuppp. I remember some days I would just... straight up forget how to play the saxophone. Even though I was in a jazz band for years. I wouldn’t even be able to hold the damn thing properly. Also all of us have varying fluency in French. Yeah, I’ve definitely had dysphoria when certain alters are close.
Holy shit, I think passive influence might describe my entire existence tbh. I’m undiagnosed but I’m starting to realize just how serious my dissociation has been. It feels really good to have someone describe experiencing the same thing I’ve been unable to put into words for so long. 😭
I actually experience this a lot more than actual and full fronting (I have osdd) and it was super helpful to hear more about it, because I also never heard of this term before. Thanks for the video! :)
yup. this is sooo relatable for us. Especially out of place thoughts or feelings that seemingly pop up out of nowhere. Internal conversations I used to think everyone experienced buuut turns out it’s not when it’s quite literally a full on internal debate😂
Yep, definitely hit most of those! The dysphoria was always the most confusing, it happened in different ways from eye color, to chest size, to tone of voice.. I actually had no idea it was considered a passive influence! Your Mistletoe sounds like our Seth(he was quite the bully, pre-awareness), and ironically enough at some point Amy also thought Seth was the ghost of a 7 year old boy... The price on her face was pretty priceless, but finding out about our DID definitely answered a lot of questions we had in our lives! Thank you for this video Kit! -Chelsea
Wow! Thank you so much for giving me words to describe feelings I regularly experience. I have an important therapy appointment tomorrow, so fantastic timing too.
Kit I have DID and ive never been diagnosed and the docs in Newfoundland are not good. And dont have a clue about DID. i have over 10 personalities and ive never told anyone before. This is my first time saying it outloud to someone. I change and switch quite a lot... i have men and women and fairies and witches in my system and others i prob dont know about. They wont give me names .... i feel their all me in diff ways but i lose a lot of time but then im co conscious most of the time. Do i just carry on as best i can ? I feel pulled in many directions and sometimes my body doesnt function at all. Im not afraid and i love myself fully..... but theres a lot of me i feel spread out into these personalities and ive been like this as long as i can remember. No one ever noticed or said anything..... i for the first time asked my mom who isnt accepting of much, how many personalities she thinks i may have ..keep in mind she doesnt even know what DID is. She said you have at least ten.... I feel 12 personalities . When she answered me i just said okay interesting and we left it at that. It was like i wanted the validation that i am different and switch a lot. She noticed but she has no idea. She thinks that i just have a wide variety of mind issues. She doesnt relize the trauma i endured through my life split me into many people. I love u all and im grateful your here. Thank you♡
I get this a lot. I am not diagnosed but heavily suspicious and this is uh... telling. I was getting a bit angry with myself for not being able to be straight with people (because I seem to lack a singular perspective on everything). This video was extremely helpful so thank you! I may not have a reason to beat myself up after all 😅
I think this happened to me yesterday 😭 (disclaimer: im not diagnosed with did or osdd) but yesterday i was eating strawberries, and i LOVE strawberry leaves. I always just eat them with the strawberry. So then, i take a bite of strawberry with the leaves and i immediately spit it out on the ground and i was so confused and i heard a voice in my head like "we both know that was disgusting, why would you eat that" and i was so confused and so were my friends who i was eating with 😭 and my friends were like "what was that about" and i was like "idk i guess i just dont want strawberry leaves rn" and they were like "did we just see character development in real time" and i was just so so confused
The hair just gets better. Absolute fire you guys 🔥👌 Hi Kit, thank you for yet another awsome and very educational video! Sending lots of love to everyone ❤ Also shout out to Daniel, you're great and we love you...!
I definitely experience this a lot. Some of the most awkward moments have been, for example, when I'm having an intimate moment with my wife and I suddenly feel either a gay alter or a female alter passively influencing me and suddenly feeling like I'd rather be with a man. Another thing that happens is less awkward but extremely inconvenient. I might be at work and suddenly lose the skill to do the task at hand. It's all my years studying and my work experience just vanishes. I once lost an important client because of that!
This is so incredibly interesting to me, as someone without DID. Your insights are very enlightening to me with regard to my beliefs on the nature of consciousness and the like. I'd love to hear more of y'all's perspective on consciousness and how you view its ability to split and merge, etc. I think a big reason why mainstream science seems to resist DID and related conditions is because they don't want to acknowledge consciousness itself, your thoughts on that would be super interesting to hear if that's something you're comfortable discussing. Just a suggestion 🙂. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with the UA-cam public, I think it does a lot to spread awareness and understanding of these conditions.
Alex: ...oooh. That. Explains so much about the auditory hallucinations I’ve been having over the past several months. That makes so much more sense now. We also had a big issue with thought withdrawal early on. Sloan would be so close to front when I was fronting in the early days of knowing us as a system that they would pull back and suddenly half my day was gone and I was left confused and kinda bereft. W: Kit I relate so much with that speech insertion issue. I think my thoughts very loudly and can be a sarcastic shit so. Sometimes things are said that Alex does not want said in that particular moment. I’m working on it 😅. Thanks for the wonderful video as always! I never knew there was a term for this and the explanations given are so helpful for explaining shit to my friends.
I just discovered I have OSDD-1 and this video was pivotal in my journey to realization. I've been watching your videos for months and way back then a nagging fear started that I might have DID...after all I'm an abuse survivor and it's one of those things that you can't exactly pin down. After months of this off-and-on anxiety, my system started getting VERY active due to other events. If I hadn't watched your videos (especially this one, as it's how my alters primarily influence things), I'd have had no idea what was happening! Thank you so much for all you've done to educate people and spread awareness
omg yes. Passive influence is actually what we've mainly used, and actually started fully fronting maybe 6 months ago. The best way I've found to describe it is almost like a VR gaming livestream. Whoever is playing, let's say Person A is wearing the straps to control the character, is the one who is fully up front, playing the role of the body. But it turns out, Person A is still standing in the control room (inner world) and if Person B decides they want to watch the other play, instead of watching the gameplay (outside world) and now person B can surprise Person A by grabbing their arm, or yelling into the microphone. But remember, that comment stream is also still going, and that's just thought transfer. Person A has to make the choice constantly to see if the comments are getting upset or angry, make sure any one who wanted to watch and focus on Person A, rather than the game (outside world) is entertained enough, or content enough, while playing a game. Life: the hard level For us, the one who is usually "person B" is our little. Also, our host can only really be in the "control room".
I had no idea there was a name for it, and it explains so much as that's how our DID manifests the most. My alters don't actually front all that much, unless there's an emergency or just generally moments where they are needed the most, as they prefer to be - what we call - backseat driving. 90% of my day to day life I'm in a state of consciousness where I am still me, and in control of the body, but my personality, thoughts, mannerisms, taste, likes and dislikes is slightly different and similar to that of one of my alters. I'm guessing that's passive influence? This is why my alters tend to refer to me as a shifter, or a chameleon, or a Ditto (from pokémon), cause my personality is always shifting around because of their influence. And oh gods, the number of times they've had me do things I'd never even consider doing, just because THEY wanted to do it. In the past, it's been even more confusing and scary than actual switching. We're more used to it now, so now it can be more annoying than scary, especially if I don't want them backseat driving. Thanks for this incredibly enlightening video! It really explains things in a very unterstanding way that's really helpful.
It's been a little month I used terms like DID or OSDD 1b....... Yet, it't will be 10 years of being several people in one body at the end of june 2019 for us. So I didn't know "passive influence"..... Yet, even as a OSDD 1b (always co-conscious) I have some passive influence which can sometimes make my boyfriend feel weird : If he want's to kiss me, at a very moment one of my alters want to front to do something else,... it's still me, I'm just about to lend the body to someone, and I can refuse the kiss, just because someone else is around to take control. I always show my system to my boyfriend as a group of ten totally seperate personalities, but sometimes, there are things mixed up. Passive influence for our OSDD1B is kinda different than with DID. Our memory troubles are not the same. And "hearing voices" and "internal conversation" are totally natural. Don't know if all OSDD1B have an "innerword", but when I close my eyes, while I let the body lay in my bed for exemple, and not only I can hear them there, but I also can see them there. The innerworld never disappear, mine is 4 walls with sky upon, and a "window-to-physical-world" I call "la Fenêtre des yeux" (eyes-window, but I'm french ^^). I can connect to physical world, and if nobody controls the body, then it falls on the ground, like soul-less (We totally avoid to do it somewhere else than a bed ^^). While I'm connected to this window, I still can here them talking. But I can, with some effort, focus enough on the physical world to ignore them (at university for exemple). And they still can steal the body sometimes, or parts of it. It's when I can't communicate with them that is weird..... it happened only once. With a severe depression. We're a crew, a team, like a family in one head ^^. Also, I used to have "passive influence" only when I was young, only inner- conversations and inner-visualizations. It took time for some of them to success to front. Especially at the begining (between 2009 and 2013). It's since Roberto came from nowhere and front (in 2013) that the other tried.... and now, switching, internal-talking, everything is kind of a routine to us ^^
I would say as someone with the same (OSDD1b), try imagining the place in your head that you've always seemed to know. That's your innerworld/mindspace. Mindspaces are also spiritual places, where you can connect to the astral world. I am certain everyone has one, but don't know it because they haven't had the need to unlike others. But yeehaw.
That makes so much sense! When I get into an argument with someone Ashur always comes forward and it's like him talking while I'm the one fronting, then I'd have no recollection of what was said after it was over. Just like you said! Thanks for clearing up what was happening! -Tony
Our host is (so far) almost always at least slightly conscious when the body is awake. He is always just so confused by us having passive influence. He's actually writing this for the rest of us. He doesn't know my name, so he probably will sign this as "unknown alter" (I will lol -Cairo). He only recently learned the name of Alice, the first alter to openly be co-con with Cairo and tell him her name. While looking for face claims, we keep switching in and out of co-consciousness and Cairo gets so confused. It personally makes me laugh because he is only now, after almost five years of being the host, expressing his confusion in this sense. Cairo had identity crises almost everyday before learning that he wasn't alone in the body, but now that he knows we exist, he just doesn't know where he ends and we begin. Thanks for the vid! -an unknown alter, and Cairo, host of the Zephyr System :)
This makes a lot of sense. I could always see Rayne around in the room. This is how he protected me. He would make sure that he would wrap his arms around me in an embrace every single time I felt scared. When he would do this I would feel his touch, and he would help me calm down.
OMG the intrusive feelings and actions so accurately described my life! I experience all of these, but the worst symptom for me is this. I’ll lie in bed at night just bombarded with different urges, such as writing, mediating, pulling some tarot cards, reading, doing more homework, drawing, going to the store, getting a cat, texting someone, and literally just everything/anything you could think of. And it’s all at once. I’ll literally go from one activity to the next and get no sleep because my brain is just so scattered. It’s like it’s in a game of tug a war but with a million ropes. At first I thought it was ADHD, but I’ve had ADHD nearly my whole life and it was never like this. The urges were just so strong, intense, dire, urgent that I couldn’t shake them from my mind. Thank you so much for describing this in a video! 💕
Wow this explains so much. I especially have been experiencing some of these a lot lately. The sad thing is I can’t hear my alters anymore since my dr. had me start taking anti-psychotic medication. I HATE that I can’t hear them but I can still feel them there. And I would stop taking the medication but it helps my anxiety so much I don’t want to live my life with that horrible anxiety again. But then I feel bad because it’s not just my body and now they don’t have a say in anything anymore. And I miss them all so much. I’m just so confused.
I was on antipsychotic medication as a teenager after I told a counselor about... idk if they count as alters... "the girls". I stopped taking them years ago though. Hated the side effects! I usually don't tell anyone about them anymore. The shrink I've been seeing (I confided in my former bf and he made me see one) says it's normal for people to have different sides to them. After each thought-stream quit cooperating after he tried hoovering me back, she suspected there could be "a split". I must ask further. I don't know what they are.
Merciful goddess! Yes, I have experienced this before. It was so weird. I remember hanging out with my best friend (thankfully supportive and has some knowledge of DID) and we were talking about my ex, and out of nowhere I ended up calling her the c word, which is not a word I use AT ALL. It shocked me that something like that could come out of my mouth. My best friend was surprised, too since he rarely if ever hears me curse. I later found out it was our protector in a mood.
I experience passive influence often and especially if I am really relaxed and having a good time or if I am feeling very anxious. Thank you for explaining and covering this as well as your many other videos. It has really helped me to come to grips with being a system. Most of my life I was saddled with the label "Undefined Mood Disorder" and left just to wonder what was wrong with me. Turns out nothing was wrong with me I just have DID which makes me different sure, but not wrong. My alters passive influence me a lot and watching this video just hit so many check boxes again it shocks me.
i have complex ptsd and i was never able to explain a lot of the symptoms your described so accurately to my experience as well!! thank you so much for making these videos!!
I have this so much... i haven’t been diagnosed but can relate to what you’ve said I don’t think I have DID I don’t lose time or switch But I do have little voices who talk to me on the inside, and sometimes have intrusive thoughts pop in that I know aren’t me I didn’t know there was a word for it so this is super helpful for my upcoming assessment
I'm struggling with denial currently as I just found out that I might have osdd and so many of things you said are really validating for me thank you for making this wonderful content.
My mother has a dissociative disorder and so do I, and we were watching the video together and both going "oh that happens all the time!" While we were watching this. Neither of us had heard that there was a word for these expiriences, and we were very excited to hear about it!
This is like our everyday day! Lmao we’re almost always influencing each other. We’ve learned self soothing whatever alter is influencing you can help and grounding but gosh it confusing sometimes!
I watched these in 2019, pre system awareness. About two years ago we realized we’re a system too (osdd-1b) and rewatching these… yeah.. we understand why we connected so deeply to y’all’s videos a few years ago. You put into words what we were experiencing before we knew that’s what it was and gave us the knowledge to seek out a trauma informed therapist that changed our lives for the absolute best. Thank you all.
We had this job at an inbound customer call center years ago, and mainly it was Alex who was responsible for doing that to such a degree that when something upset him one week so much that he completely vanished for several days, the rest of us spent those hours at work scrambling and putting in three times the effort to do half as much as Alex could do. It was such a huge relief when he finally came back.
Omg this hits soooooo close to home!!! Hi Canary system here! Lydia suffers from this A LOT! Mostly from Jay Jay but a little from other alters as well. She said that this video helped explain so much of her life to her. We have had it pertty rough, especially with our parents and not knowing we had DID up until a year ago almost now. Lydia said that the most common thing she noticed was the fact that Jay Jay would offten want to do self destructive things and that would leak onto Lydia. Also Jake doesn't feel comfortable in our feminine body.
This video is SO IMPORTANT. Most of these things we have experienced, and as we tend to constantly analyse anything that's happening, we had our own words for some of these things! I did know about passive influence, but all these experiences with their own names helps A LOT. During the whole video I was "oh so THAT'S what it was"! Thank you so much for this!!
the saying things without meaning to is a huge thing for us. i never will forget being in maths class back when i was younger and we were doing trigonometry and as the teacher explained tangents, our little piped up and asked "isn't that a type of orange?" we can look back and laugh now, but i was so confused and embarrassed when it happened!!!
woah! I had to pause the video when you were just a few seconds into explaining self alteration. I don't know if I have really understood it 100% right, but "the feeling that the body is not yours, but you're still like in the body and attached to the body" is 100% something I've experienced several times!
OMG! The temporary loss of skills or knowledge thing. I was trying to find a bus stop that I'd gone to like a million times before, but as a totally DIFFERENT alter, and I couldn't find it! I was so frustrated I wanted to sit down on the pavement and cry! Every time I turned a corner I kept expecting to see it and it wasn't there! I finally found a memorable landmark and there it was... I was like, what is going on!?? -Holly
We’ve known a lot about passive influence for a long time but though withdrawal was something I’ve never heard of, before? Every time I have a strong argument with someone I would forget it completely afterwards and I wouldn’t know what we talked about? It’s so hard because because would ask me why we argued about and I wouldn’t be able to answer, and it happens a lot so much with other things and it’s just awful,, I don’t know who could be taking these memories (if it is thought withdrawal) though so that will be something scary to look forward to for now
Rowan same also!! It’s kind of embarrassing when I lose memory of what just happened a few seconds ago and they ask me about what just happened jhjsbsks
Wtf I get this all the time aaahhh Im so glad Im not alone. Its so frustrating dealing w an abusive mother and then shes like "ok how am i abusive" and i cANT REMEMBER
OMG YES! I'm so happy you posted this. Speech insertion has happen to me so many times. I even told someone that the reason why people don't interact with her when she is holding her baby is because she has a resting bitch face. I normally would never say that to anyone face. On countless occasions Speech insertion has happened and its been frustrated when trying to communicate to family. By the way your channel is so informative and extremely helpful. Thank you all! We appreciate you all and what your doing here.
Alot of what is shared here resonates. I'm no longer dissociative, meaning that parts came together but when we weren't yet, so much passive influence took place. It's really validating to watch these vids. Thankyou.
OK, this makes so much sense! I definitely get this, especially with Kitty! The way I described it was a thought or emotion that felt foreign. It was the first thing I really felt was wrong with me and I honestly thought I was going insane. Thank you for making this video ❤️
holy heck all of this stuff are things we relate to heavily, thanks for making this video! also your comment on how self alteration is something that trans people experience a lot really made me think about how my experience as a trans person has influenced my experience as part of a system, and vice versa
I’m a newly diagnosed DID system, so I’m still learning. This was so helpful. These things happen a lot to us and they have been confusing, scary and difficult to deal with. Thank you for explaining it.
Honestly at this point I'm watching your entire channel 😅💙 still undiagnosed but I've experienced almost every point you've presented in this vid, and I'm honestly just so happy to feel not alone in this stuff. Like thought withdrawal is so so common for me, and Ive never had an inner monologue, my whole life I've had inner conversations, many chiming in, not even a dialogue. It's comforting seeing your channel 💙
Ohhh gotta call myself out Kit! I was ALMOST going to make a comment about you being “human” 🤦♀️about not being Daniel’s super fan. (I imagine of you guys as a family, and family doesn’t always get along and I see the respect there, so good on you!) You are rocking that purple lip stick! I really enjoy the videos, I learn so much! ❤️
A bit late to the party, but I've just watched this video and literally said "omg, yes!" to everything said here. I've only recently come across your channel, but we're enjoying it very much! Thank you for all you do to reduce stigma for DID/OSDD systems! 😊💫
Thank you all for posting this video! This really helped broach the subject with our partners in another system, and helped us begin to better understand what we all are going through.
This reminds me of a short sci fi story I read, Hallucination. In that, there was a being who could only communicate with others through passive influence. interesting video as always!
12:10 - I try telling that to myself everytime I'm catched in the feeling that I'm faking it. Like, if you imagine the perspective of someone who don't actually have that, it must be really hard to understand it all. and I relate to absolutely everything I hear in every video.
A lot of this makes sense. It explains a ton. The voices and loss of court of my body. Had my arm acting up one day, I realize now it was Alistair clenching my right arm tight.
Oh my gosh! HUGE eye opener. I have not heard of this term. But yes, i have experienced many of these descriptions. It explians alot. How does this differ from co- consciousness? And could this be the basis of a lot of ddnos? Gotta tell you, this is a HUGE revelation. THANK YOU for doing this video.
Co-consciousness is two or more alters being aware of what is going on outside during a single moment. Passive influence can result from a close co-consciousness though. DDNOS isn’t actually a diagnosis any longer. Instead, they have OSDD which is broken into subcategories that are much better defined than DDNOS ever was. -Wyn
Well, this explained a lot of my experienses. For example, sudden loss of skill I had aquired just one week ago. And I don't mean that it had gone hazy, I mean I had no clue whatsoever what I was suppose to do, even if I knew for certain that I had learned it. You know, I felt really frustrated because I knew I was suppose to know, but there was absolutely nothing. So, I re-learned. Several times. Untill I realised that it was because I had different alt co-con with me. I had to teach them all, how to do the things. As a gamer... rrrreally confusing and really frustrating.
OH MY GOODNESS! THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. so many emotions. Feeling crazy for so long and hearing that what im experiencing is NORMAL and MAKES SENSE is so validating. I want to cry because it feels so good to understand myself better. THANK YOU. Just talked to my therapist this past week about thinking i had OSDD and she confirmed that as i finally was able to have some symptoms in front of her. Thank you. If it wasnt for you channel i wouldnt be starting the journey to understand my osdd.
omg thank you so much for covering this. I didn't know there was a word for it. I experience this near constantly. It really had me doubting what it was i even had. its extremely confusing but I at least can handle it a bit more calmly that i know its not just me, instead of fretting about it.
I’m so glad I found this video! This puts so many of my thoughts into context, I’ve been trying to figure out what was wrong with me for days! My alters almost never take over but I feel passive influences all the time, I was beginning to think I’d made the whole thing up or that I had something else entirely.
Yeah having the WHOA moment... Didn't know there was a word for it! We're so grateful for your system and all the help you've been giving us over the short 6 months sine our "awakening" moment. With so little info out there in a relatable and kind way for those of us starting out the journey and fighting to find correct help, your videos has been an amazing help, source of comfort, and a light when things got dark and confusing. You all are SUPER!
This is all super helpful as many of your videos are and we thank you all for helping everyone, us included. i never realised how many of these i'd get so often. i'd usually get auditory hallucinations of a man either saying my name or saying something in general, i havent figured out who yet but i have feelings of who it may be, i get other influences often too most of which i'd figure out who it was pretty quickly.
Just when I think I’ve seen every video, another suggested shows up just when I need it most! ❤️ So, so grateful for The Entropy System’s content, knowledge and candidness. The world needs more people like you!
Good morning entropy! Its a lil early today but i just wanted to let u know i really like ur videos. Ur really good at explaining all the simple and complicated terms and examples at how u see and interact with the world; and what your perception is of the world, and how u interact with it. I used to date someone with d.i.d. and paranoid schizophrenia. Its was very confusing and alot of drama. Not even her family really knew what she had, so i had to learn on my own, and then teach her own family about it. It seems like you have no problem explaining to the world about it, with no ill will and i thank you for sharing the experiences of the condition with me.
I love how informative your (and the rest of your system's) videos are~ A lot of these resonate with a lot of what I've experienced through the years but haven't really had definitive terms to call them by. Like the temporary loss of skill/knowledge. There've been a couple of times I've gone into the kitchen to grab a snack, and I'll get to the cabinet only to realize that I can't for the life of me remember how to open the cabinet. Like the 'reach up with hand' and 'grip door handle' actions just weren't there anymore. It took my friends asking why I'd been staring confusedly at the cabinet for numerous minutes for me to come out of it and explain that I couldn't remember how. Then, it was like I suddenly remembered my hands existed, and it all came back to me. If they hadn't jogged my brain, I'd probably have eventually given up on trying to figure out how to open the cabinet. Internal conversations is a really big one for me, as well. After I discovered who/what one of my scarier alters really was, it was like everyone wanted to be active and gathered near the front for a while. It made grocery shopping interesting, our little kept alerting us when we passed by something he wanted (coloring books, markers, anything Pooh Bear or Disney related). He usually stays pretty quiet when we're out and about.
Omg your channel is just a breathe of fresh air i love how you explain everything so, well and in detail with every word you really takwe your type to put into contexts and try your very best to show and get into what DID is and what it is all about thank you so much.
I've been binging videos on DID cause we've finally decided it's time to know more about what we have. This video appeared in my recommendation. Recently one of our Others (what we call Alters) recently withdrew a thought from our 12yo Other to keep him innocent. We know this is was possible but it was never done publicly to our Void/System before with everyone near the front. Normally he's only done it to either stop an argument or lock a negative thought from one of the older of us. Never the youngest. He was later told what had happened and seems okay with having the thought taken though it gave him a sort of amnesia at least for a little bit. That thought is the reason I'm here but still. Glad to know theres a wire for the things that's been going on inside our head
I'm finding it really difficult to be in denial about possibly having OSDD when this is so damn relatable to my own experience and explains so much. I still feel like I'm faking.
oh my word!!! Thank you for that amazing explanation of something that happens to me every day and I cannot seem to figure out what's going on much love to you great job!!!
You know, I have known and worked with my alters since the body was 14. We have a vast and interesting, to me, inner world... it is a space ship, however, I have never thought about the influences that you mentioned, looking back, I can think of several times that we have influenced each other... Great video! And like Kris said, I gave up driving because I could drive from Colorado to Kentucky, as the host being the only one fronting, but get to Kentucky and someone else remembers the drive and all the interesting things we saw, but I don't :( so now, maybe, I know why.
Annnnd you just described my every day life. I didn’t realize this had names. Especially “memories disappearing as they are happening” I frequently feel like, I’m doing something but I’m forgetting it as it happens. Like I’m aware it’s currently happening but ask me about what I did 30 seconds ago and I’m like idk, but I’m doing it. Smh
Meeee toooo. My poor family thinks I'm ditzy, even though they know Im extremely smart.
Or speaking to someone and forgetting the whole conversation mid-sentence. Passive influence explains most of my minute-to-minute life.
This man. Omg. Its the worst. Like people always get annoyed with me when i forget whats happening as it happens.
That has been happening constantly...
Think about a text, start saying it.
What did I just say?
What was I saying?
What was I going to say?
don't know
gone
We're an OSDD1b system so all this is happening to us 95-100% of the time. The self-puzzlement, or identity confusion, is honestly the worst part. We've had spells of identity confusion last for years where our host/cores didn't understand who they were because of our accidental influence. And even now, our host has a lot of self-doubt since he can influence the rest of us to act and think like him. It's really great you guys are talking about this so more people can begin to heal from the pain it can cause.
How is OSDD different from DID? And what does 1b stand for? I’m very interested in this 😃
@@all_is_well_Mara There are 4 types of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder, but only type 1 deals with the formation of alters. The easiest way to explain it is: DID = at least 2 distinct alters + amnesia barriers while switching. OSDD1a = no distinct alters (instead they usually all identify as the same person, or they may all be fragments) + amnesia barriers while switching. OSDD1b = At least 2 distinct alters + no or very little amnesia barriers at all.
Oh my God...that's me. I am the 'host' and am in that exact position...which lead me to question my diagnosis of DID. And just over the last couple weeks, the idea that I may not be the' actual' core person....crisis going on. I've even contacted another DID dr to give me a 2nd opinion. Yet, now I feel abit more calm.
Nitewulf thank you so much for this explanation 😃😃
WE ARE THE SAME HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! Do you know what Covert means? It's like when a system is a lot more sneaky about their symptoms and alters, instead of an Overt System who has a lot of outward symptoms and alters.
Our main four alters even look incredibly similar in the mindspace/innerworld. Also some of us dislike that we are "separate" in the fact that, we are uncomfortable with acting different or being exposed like that.
Also we have a really hard time with inner voice and thoughts. It's so hard to even hear what we need to hear.
OH MY GODS. Yes. Experience this very often. This just reminds me of an incident that occurred a few years back. I was with my friends at an event. My friend started walking away, and honestly I really don't remember where she was going, all I know is that I don't think I wanted her to go. I was holding a muffin in my hand, and all of a sudden, to my utter horror, I whipped the muffin at the back of her head as she was walking away. It was so confusing because I hadn't ever decided to do it, in fact I had no idea why I would ever do something like that. It was literally as if my arm had acted all on it's own (with very precise aim, I might add). My friend was understandably super pissed at me and I felt awful and totally helpless because I had to take responsibility for something that I never actually did. Understanding passive influence makes it make a ton of sense. And I'm also super used to my thoughts being randomly taken away mid sentence or mid explaining something. It's so embarrassing. I'm lucky I have such understanding friends.
Noelle Hussein I had a similar experience before I knew there what I was experiencing. I slapped my best friend in the face. I was mortified!!
Wait a second... I feel like I might've done that too o_o
We get this _a lot_ with our little. Anytime he's anywhere close to the front, whoever's out will start acting a bit littler. It was really confusing for us back before we realized he existed 😅 I'll also sometimes get one of the others' accents leaking into my speech or find myself using my left hand. Actually, I have a really good physical example of this! Jake & Loki played D&D together recently, and I wrote their names down for them on our character sheet, and I _know_ it was me who wrote it, but when I went back to look at it later I realized both of their names were in their own handwriting. None of us even realized it had happened at the time lol
Whenever our British alter is close we start using British slang like bloody, mate, etc
Is Loki an introject?
Lol
I haven't been diagnosed with OSDD but I've had random accent switches. It used to drive my boyfriend (well, former boyfriend now) up the wall.
there should really be a heart button
I'm fairly certain I have OSDD and my alters only really affect me through passive influence, or something like that since they can front it's just... Weird. That said experiencing the effects of passive influence with no words to describe what you're going through and no idea what could possibly be doing this to you is hell, I had so much identity confusion through all of high school, my sense of style and my hobbies and my gender and sexuality and even my name changed so many times that by the time it was over I had no idea who I was. This current state of identity only appeared because I became so burdened by the emotional impact of this confusion that I could no longer function, so it got seperated off into a persecutor and I got to keep going. I'm honestly really glad for this video because even now I was still worried that I was "faking by accident" somehow because how could I have alters if I was so aware of my differences in behavior and feelings and stuff, passive influence apparently is how
This this this!!
Passive influence is a major part of our lives, more than co-fronting or switching. Sometimes I confuse passive influence with sickness, pain, dizziness, irritability, being moody... until one of the system clearly states their thoughts "It's just that I'm tired of being around people." Alexia may say or "I really need to stretch and work out! Is it time for the gym yet???"
I'm part of an OSDD system, passive influence is a huge part of our every day lives. Maybe it makes sense that passive influence is more common in OSDD systems?
We're also OSDD. Since we're all kind of close to front at all times we have more passive influence than our partner who is more of DID. At least that's our explanation of it
I think this 2
Same here.
I, or rather we, feel the same. We experience a lot of passive influence, but aren't affected by switches in any way, which is making me, Maria, doubt if we even have an identity disorder. We have never talked to anyone about these kinds of feelings, and they aren't causing us trouble in any way. But I don't know if thoughts are mine or someone else's, and it's bothering me sometimes. But most of the time, I forget them. Are these people alters or just imaginary friends?
-Maria
But there must be a reason for a ~4yo to look in the mirror and think: "This is not what I look like. My hair should be blonde and curly." Or when the boys flat out hate how big our boobs are.
-Baylea
@@MariaMusling definitely sounds like OSDD 💜
This is such a big mood
I mean that literally because I feel that alot and have for YEARS. This is part of why I haven't thought for sure why I was a system. I thought it was me subconsciously faking.
This is how I feel now and this video cleared up a lot (and now I feel less angry and scared).
I so relate to the dysphoria. I can look in the mirror and be like "when and how did I get so tan and old? What happened from point A to point B that I suddenly look this way?"
This video terrified me, there were so many lightbulb moments going off. There has to be a reason I’m attracted to videos on DID. Another video you did gave me insight on why I always have to have noise around me. I tried to read an article about bringing out your alters, but my internal argument wouldn’t let me read it. My mind is fighting against itself, how do you know when you’re ready to face the possibility of having DID?
Did you end up getting anywhere?
I'm not officially dx yet but my drs think DID or OSDD.. I experience this almost daily more than any actual full switch. Like I could be me and be fine and see a person and suddenly my mouth will ask something in a different voice and I'm like why the hell did I say that? Especially like that I sounded so weird and not me.... thanks for you guys doing these vids for the whole system. So helpful and educational
My host has told us once, while in class, he heard a little kids voice calling his name. This was a few months ago. There has been more events such as this but this is the one most fresh in our mind.
He was in class and heard our little calling his name. I believe he wanted to tell him that he finished drawing a picture for him but Edward was so focused on the school work he had to block him out. Which upset the little but he understood that we were at school. -Simon.
Passive influence makes a lot of sense of you think about how even normative people might, for example, say a totally different sentence that what they mean to say because they're thinking about a sentence someone just said to them, or how someone might start slipping into an accent if they hear going around them speaking with that accent. When you have so many people in your head it's inevitable that they would influence you simply by when's being exposed to them constantly, and that's before even taking into consideration all of the stuff about sharing the same brain, the same body, adding trauma in there etc
I like that you mentioned Freudian slips! Especially when it comes to so-called neurotypical people! I like to thank that everybody has a form of DID it's just a matter of how covert is it!?
Being non-DID, I definitely could relate to the intrusive/made thoughts. I have intrusive thoughts often and for so long, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me because I kept thinking things I would never willingly think. I can't imagine how much more complex it gets when you add in alters.
I deal with Speech Insertion all the time. It's probably my biggest issue, ya know, besides having D.I.D. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and one of my alters will just start "talking" instead on a completely different topic. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to tell anyone I know personally about my system, so everyone just thinks I'm scatterbrained. Luckily, the same issue doesn't happen very often with texting or typing! But, oh boy, when it does, everyone's confused.
P.S. I'm so glad I have been able to find your channel, as well as a few others across the web, that have all helped me so much to realize that we are a valid system, and that I'm not alone. It truly means so much to be able to hear other people talk about D.I.D. in a way that isn't dismissive. All the love in world to the Entropy System
ive been diagnosed with osdd (the evaluators were fairly bad at their job and couldnt even tell me what type of osdd.) and i experience almost no direct contact. when you talked about the childs voice i literally went pale. i have been hearing a child laugh in my room for months
i experience every single symptom of passive influence you mentioned. as someone whos denied the reality of the alters for years, it was soooo validating and was a big eye opener
edit: this scared me a lot. i also found a comment on this video from a year ago thats from my account. i think a different alter commented that. due to it i now know two names of the alters, mark and natalia
This was definitely a "woah everything makes sense now" for me
This put words to so many feelings I have, and things that I experience and couldn't explain. Thank you so much for this!
I definitely get the “saying thing you didn’t mean to say” thing. I remember one time I was talking to my parents about my mental health, and my dad was being skeptical, which he does quite a bit. Yet, I said to him “and you wonder why I don’t come to you about stuff like this” with a smug *smile* and I regretted it immediately.
I’ve also had thought withdrawal where I was in the middle of a sentence thinking something when it felt like it was snatched away.
Yeah I’ve definitely had that feeling multiple emotions and perspectives at once. I remember once time my dad said something that was particularly upsetting to Erika. I remember her being very angry, and myself being “oh no here we go” and I also remember Simon trying to calm Erika down.
Temporary loss of skills haha yuppp. I remember some days I would just... straight up forget how to play the saxophone. Even though I was in a jazz band for years. I wouldn’t even be able to hold the damn thing properly. Also all of us have varying fluency in French.
Yeah, I’ve definitely had dysphoria when certain alters are close.
Holy shit, I think passive influence might describe my entire existence tbh. I’m undiagnosed but I’m starting to realize just how serious my dissociation has been. It feels really good to have someone describe experiencing the same thing I’ve been unable to put into words for so long. 😭
I actually experience this a lot more than actual and full fronting (I have osdd) and it was super helpful to hear more about it, because I also never heard of this term before. Thanks for the video! :)
yup. this is sooo relatable for us. Especially out of place thoughts or feelings that seemingly pop up out of nowhere. Internal conversations I used to think everyone experienced buuut turns out it’s not when it’s quite literally a full on internal debate😂
I literally JUST got the "entropical fish" name and that is adorable and clever.
Yep, definitely hit most of those! The dysphoria was always the most confusing, it happened in different ways from eye color, to chest size, to tone of voice.. I actually had no idea it was considered a passive influence! Your Mistletoe sounds like our Seth(he was quite the bully, pre-awareness), and ironically enough at some point Amy also thought Seth was the ghost of a 7 year old boy... The price on her face was pretty priceless, but finding out about our DID definitely answered a lot of questions we had in our lives! Thank you for this video Kit!
-Chelsea
Wow! Thank you so much for giving me words to describe feelings I regularly experience. I have an important therapy appointment tomorrow, so fantastic timing too.
Lol same here! Perfect timing :)
Me too..noon 🙋♀️
Kit
I have DID
and ive never been diagnosed and the docs in Newfoundland are not good. And dont have a clue about DID.
i have over 10 personalities and ive never told anyone before.
This is my first time saying it outloud to someone.
I change and switch quite a lot... i have men and women and fairies and witches in my system and others i prob dont know about. They wont give me names .... i feel their all me in diff ways but i lose a lot of time but then im co conscious most of the time.
Do i just carry on as best i can ?
I feel pulled in many directions and sometimes my body doesnt function at all.
Im not afraid and i love myself fully..... but theres a lot of me i feel spread out into these personalities and ive been like this as long as i can remember.
No one ever noticed or said anything..... i for the first time asked my mom who isnt accepting of much, how many personalities she thinks i may have ..keep in mind she doesnt even know what DID is.
She said you have at least ten....
I feel 12 personalities .
When she answered me i just said okay interesting and we left it at that.
It was like i wanted the validation that i am different and switch a lot.
She noticed but she has no idea. She thinks that i just have a wide variety of mind issues. She doesnt relize the trauma i endured through my life split me into many people.
I love u all and im grateful your here. Thank you♡
I get this a lot. I am not diagnosed but heavily suspicious and this is uh... telling. I was getting a bit angry with myself for not being able to be straight with people (because I seem to lack a singular perspective on everything). This video was extremely helpful so thank you! I may not have a reason to beat myself up after all 😅
I think this happened to me yesterday 😭 (disclaimer: im not diagnosed with did or osdd) but yesterday i was eating strawberries, and i LOVE strawberry leaves. I always just eat them with the strawberry. So then, i take a bite of strawberry with the leaves and i immediately spit it out on the ground and i was so confused and i heard a voice in my head like "we both know that was disgusting, why would you eat that" and i was so confused and so were my friends who i was eating with 😭 and my friends were like "what was that about" and i was like "idk i guess i just dont want strawberry leaves rn" and they were like "did we just see character development in real time" and i was just so so confused
The hair just gets better. Absolute fire you guys 🔥👌
Hi Kit, thank you for yet another awsome and very educational video! Sending lots of love to everyone ❤
Also shout out to Daniel, you're great and we love you...!
I think shades of blue would be cool :)
Tried it myself and failed haha
I definitely experience this a lot.
Some of the most awkward moments have been, for example, when I'm having an intimate moment with my wife and I suddenly feel either a gay alter or a female alter passively influencing me and suddenly feeling like I'd rather be with a man.
Another thing that happens is less awkward but extremely inconvenient. I might be at work and suddenly lose the skill to do the task at hand. It's all my years studying and my work experience just vanishes.
I once lost an important client because of that!
This is so incredibly interesting to me, as someone without DID. Your insights are very enlightening to me with regard to my beliefs on the nature of consciousness and the like.
I'd love to hear more of y'all's perspective on consciousness and how you view its ability to split and merge, etc. I think a big reason why mainstream science seems to resist DID and related conditions is because they don't want to acknowledge consciousness itself, your thoughts on that would be super interesting to hear if that's something you're comfortable discussing.
Just a suggestion 🙂. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with the UA-cam public, I think it does a lot to spread awareness and understanding of these conditions.
"oh. Why am I female?" That's us all the time omg 😂. -Baz from the Spinach System
SPINACH SYSTEM
i lOVE that
Alex: ...oooh. That. Explains so much about the auditory hallucinations I’ve been having over the past several months. That makes so much more sense now.
We also had a big issue with thought withdrawal early on. Sloan would be so close to front when I was fronting in the early days of knowing us as a system that they would pull back and suddenly half my day was gone and I was left confused and kinda bereft.
W: Kit I relate so much with that speech insertion issue. I think my thoughts very loudly and can be a sarcastic shit so. Sometimes things are said that Alex does not want said in that particular moment. I’m working on it 😅.
Thanks for the wonderful video as always! I never knew there was a term for this and the explanations given are so helpful for explaining shit to my friends.
I just discovered I have OSDD-1 and this video was pivotal in my journey to realization. I've been watching your videos for months and way back then a nagging fear started that I might have DID...after all I'm an abuse survivor and it's one of those things that you can't exactly pin down. After months of this off-and-on anxiety, my system started getting VERY active due to other events. If I hadn't watched your videos (especially this one, as it's how my alters primarily influence things), I'd have had no idea what was happening! Thank you so much for all you've done to educate people and spread awareness
omg yes.
Passive influence is actually what we've mainly used, and actually started fully fronting maybe 6 months ago.
The best way I've found to describe it is almost like a VR gaming livestream.
Whoever is playing, let's say Person A is wearing the straps to control the character, is the one who is fully up front, playing the role of the body. But it turns out, Person A is still standing in the control room (inner world) and if Person B decides they want to watch the other play, instead of watching the gameplay (outside world) and now person B can surprise Person A by grabbing their arm, or yelling into the microphone. But remember, that comment stream is also still going, and that's just thought transfer.
Person A has to make the choice constantly to see if the comments are getting upset or angry, make sure any one who wanted to watch and focus on Person A, rather than the game (outside world) is entertained enough, or content enough, while playing a game.
Life: the hard level
For us, the one who is usually "person B" is our little. Also, our host can only really be in the "control room".
I had no idea there was a name for it, and it explains so much as that's how our DID manifests the most.
My alters don't actually front all that much, unless there's an emergency or just generally moments where they are needed the most, as they prefer to be - what we call - backseat driving. 90% of my day to day life I'm in a state of consciousness where I am still me, and in control of the body, but my personality, thoughts, mannerisms, taste, likes and dislikes is slightly different and similar to that of one of my alters. I'm guessing that's passive influence? This is why my alters tend to refer to me as a shifter, or a chameleon, or a Ditto (from pokémon), cause my personality is always shifting around because of their influence. And oh gods, the number of times they've had me do things I'd never even consider doing, just because THEY wanted to do it. In the past, it's been even more confusing and scary than actual switching. We're more used to it now, so now it can be more annoying than scary, especially if I don't want them backseat driving.
Thanks for this incredibly enlightening video! It really explains things in a very unterstanding way that's really helpful.
It's been a little month I used terms like DID or OSDD 1b.......
Yet, it't will be 10 years of being several people in one body at the end of june 2019 for us.
So I didn't know "passive influence".....
Yet, even as a OSDD 1b (always co-conscious) I have some passive influence which can sometimes make my boyfriend feel weird :
If he want's to kiss me, at a very moment one of my alters want to front to do something else,... it's still me, I'm just about to lend the body to someone, and I can refuse the kiss, just because someone else is around to take control.
I always show my system to my boyfriend as a group of ten totally seperate personalities, but sometimes, there are things mixed up.
Passive influence for our OSDD1B is kinda different than with DID. Our memory troubles are not the same. And "hearing voices" and "internal conversation" are totally natural. Don't know if all OSDD1B have an "innerword", but when I close my eyes, while I let the body lay in my bed for exemple, and not only I can hear them there, but I also can see them there. The innerworld never disappear, mine is 4 walls with sky upon, and a "window-to-physical-world" I call "la Fenêtre des yeux" (eyes-window, but I'm french ^^). I can connect to physical world, and if nobody controls the body, then it falls on the ground, like soul-less (We totally avoid to do it somewhere else than a bed ^^). While I'm connected to this window, I still can here them talking. But I can, with some effort, focus enough on the physical world to ignore them (at university for exemple). And they still can steal the body sometimes, or parts of it.
It's when I can't communicate with them that is weird..... it happened only once. With a severe depression. We're a crew, a team, like a family in one head ^^.
Also, I used to have "passive influence" only when I was young, only inner- conversations and inner-visualizations. It took time for some of them to success to front. Especially at the begining (between 2009 and 2013). It's since Roberto came from nowhere and front (in 2013) that the other tried.... and now, switching, internal-talking, everything is kind of a routine to us ^^
I would say as someone with the same (OSDD1b), try imagining the place in your head that you've always seemed to know. That's your innerworld/mindspace. Mindspaces are also spiritual places, where you can connect to the astral world. I am certain everyone has one, but don't know it because they haven't had the need to unlike others. But yeehaw.
That makes so much sense! When I get into an argument with someone Ashur always comes forward and it's like him talking while I'm the one fronting, then I'd have no recollection of what was said after it was over. Just like you said! Thanks for clearing up what was happening! -Tony
Wonderful video! It was super helpful and worth the watch
Our host is (so far) almost always at least slightly conscious when the body is awake. He is always just so confused by us having passive influence. He's actually writing this for the rest of us. He doesn't know my name, so he probably will sign this as "unknown alter" (I will lol -Cairo). He only recently learned the name of Alice, the first alter to openly be co-con with Cairo and tell him her name. While looking for face claims, we keep switching in and out of co-consciousness and Cairo gets so confused. It personally makes me laugh because he is only now, after almost five years of being the host, expressing his confusion in this sense. Cairo had identity crises almost everyday before learning that he wasn't alone in the body, but now that he knows we exist, he just doesn't know where he ends and we begin. Thanks for the vid! -an unknown alter, and Cairo, host of the Zephyr System :)
This validated so much for me. Thanks for your education!!! Love your channel so much!!!
This makes a lot of sense. I could always see Rayne around in the room. This is how he protected me. He would make sure that he would wrap his arms around me in an embrace every single time I felt scared. When he would do this I would feel his touch, and he would help me calm down.
OMG the intrusive feelings and actions so accurately described my life! I experience all of these, but the worst symptom for me is this. I’ll lie in bed at night just bombarded with different urges, such as writing, mediating, pulling some tarot cards, reading, doing more homework, drawing, going to the store, getting a cat, texting someone, and literally just everything/anything you could think of. And it’s all at once. I’ll literally go from one activity to the next and get no sleep because my brain is just so scattered. It’s like it’s in a game of tug a war but with a million ropes. At first I thought it was ADHD, but I’ve had ADHD nearly my whole life and it was never like this. The urges were just so strong, intense, dire, urgent that I couldn’t shake them from my mind. Thank you so much for describing this in a video! 💕
Just like you I had no idea what passive influence was like a named thing, but we experience it heaps.
Wow this explains so much. I especially have been experiencing some of these a lot lately. The sad thing is I can’t hear my alters anymore since my dr. had me start taking anti-psychotic medication. I HATE that I can’t hear them but I can still feel them there. And I would stop taking the medication but it helps my anxiety so much I don’t want to live my life with that horrible anxiety again. But then I feel bad because it’s not just my body and now they don’t have a say in anything anymore. And I miss them all so much. I’m just so confused.
I was on antipsychotic medication as a teenager after I told a counselor about... idk if they count as alters... "the girls". I stopped taking them years ago though. Hated the side effects! I usually don't tell anyone about them anymore.
The shrink I've been seeing (I confided in my former bf and he made me see one) says it's normal for people to have different sides to them. After each thought-stream quit cooperating after he tried hoovering me back, she suspected there could be "a split". I must ask further. I don't know what they are.
Merciful goddess! Yes, I have experienced this before. It was so weird. I remember hanging out with my best friend (thankfully supportive and has some knowledge of DID) and we were talking about my ex, and out of nowhere I ended up calling her the c word, which is not a word I use AT ALL. It shocked me that something like that could come out of my mouth. My best friend was surprised, too since he rarely if ever hears me curse. I later found out it was our protector in a mood.
I experience passive influence often and especially if I am really relaxed and having a good time or if I am feeling very anxious. Thank you for explaining and covering this as well as your many other videos. It has really helped me to come to grips with being a system. Most of my life I was saddled with the label "Undefined Mood Disorder" and left just to wonder what was wrong with me. Turns out nothing was wrong with me I just have DID which makes me different sure, but not wrong. My alters passive influence me a lot and watching this video just hit so many check boxes again it shocks me.
i have complex ptsd and i was never able to explain a lot of the symptoms your described so accurately to my experience as well!! thank you so much for making these videos!!
speech influence! thank you for giving us these words to help us communicate much more effectively! -noel
I have this so much... i haven’t been diagnosed but can relate to what you’ve said
I don’t think I have DID I don’t lose time or switch
But I do have little voices who talk to me on the inside, and sometimes have intrusive thoughts pop in that I know aren’t me
I didn’t know there was a word for it so this is super helpful for my upcoming assessment
I'm struggling with denial currently as I just found out that I might have osdd and so many of things you said are really validating for me thank you for making this wonderful content.
My mother has a dissociative disorder and so do I, and we were watching the video together and both going "oh that happens all the time!" While we were watching this. Neither of us had heard that there was a word for these expiriences, and we were very excited to hear about it!
This is like our everyday day! Lmao we’re almost always influencing each other. We’ve learned self soothing whatever alter is influencing you can help and grounding but gosh it confusing sometimes!
I watched these in 2019, pre system awareness. About two years ago we realized we’re a system too (osdd-1b) and rewatching these… yeah.. we understand why we connected so deeply to y’all’s videos a few years ago. You put into words what we were experiencing before we knew that’s what it was and gave us the knowledge to seek out a trauma informed therapist that changed our lives for the absolute best. Thank you all.
We had this job at an inbound customer call center years ago, and mainly it was Alex who was responsible for doing that to such a degree that when something upset him one week so much that he completely vanished for several days, the rest of us spent those hours at work scrambling and putting in three times the effort to do half as much as Alex could do. It was such a huge relief when he finally came back.
I've been doing research on this stuff and your videos are very helpful.
Thank you :). I hope you all are doing good.
Omg this hits soooooo close to home!!! Hi Canary system here! Lydia suffers from this A LOT! Mostly from Jay Jay but a little from other alters as well. She said that this video helped explain so much of her life to her. We have had it pertty rough, especially with our parents and not knowing we had DID up until a year ago almost now. Lydia said that the most common thing she noticed was the fact that Jay Jay would offten want to do self destructive things and that would leak onto Lydia. Also Jake doesn't feel comfortable in our feminine body.
This video is SO IMPORTANT. Most of these things we have experienced, and as we tend to constantly analyse anything that's happening, we had our own words for some of these things! I did know about passive influence, but all these experiences with their own names helps A LOT. During the whole video I was "oh so THAT'S what it was"!
Thank you so much for this!!
I experience this all the time... and I think I might have osdd. But my therapist said “that's normal“ and I was just like “Nooooo?“
the saying things without meaning to is a huge thing for us. i never will forget being in maths class back when i was younger and we were doing trigonometry and as the teacher explained tangents, our little piped up and asked "isn't that a type of orange?"
we can look back and laugh now, but i was so confused and embarrassed when it happened!!!
woah! I had to pause the video when you were just a few seconds into explaining self alteration. I don't know if I have really understood it 100% right, but "the feeling that the body is not yours, but you're still like in the body and attached to the body" is 100% something I've experienced several times!
OMG! The temporary loss of skills or knowledge thing. I was trying to find a bus stop that I'd gone to like a million times before, but as a totally DIFFERENT alter, and I couldn't find it! I was so frustrated I wanted to sit down on the pavement and cry! Every time I turned a corner I kept expecting to see it and it wasn't there! I finally found a memorable landmark and there it was... I was like, what is going on!?? -Holly
We’ve known a lot about passive influence for a long time but though withdrawal was something I’ve never heard of, before? Every time I have a strong argument with someone I would forget it completely afterwards and I wouldn’t know what we talked about? It’s so hard because because would ask me why we argued about and I wouldn’t be able to answer, and it happens a lot so much with other things and it’s just awful,, I don’t know who could be taking these memories (if it is thought withdrawal) though so that will be something scary to look forward to for now
This happens to me a lot too! Not only with arguments but other conversations too.
Rowan same also!! It’s kind of embarrassing when I lose memory of what just happened a few seconds ago and they ask me about what just happened jhjsbsks
Wtf I get this all the time aaahhh Im so glad Im not alone. Its so frustrating dealing w an abusive mother and then shes like "ok how am i abusive" and i cANT REMEMBER
THANK YOU!!!
Had no idea that this was an actual thing.
So much more makes sense now!
👍🙏❤️
OMG YES! I'm so happy you posted this. Speech insertion has happen to me so many times. I even told someone that the reason why people don't interact with her when she is holding her baby is because she has a resting bitch face. I normally would never say that to anyone face. On countless occasions Speech insertion has happened and its been frustrated when trying to communicate to family. By the way your channel is so informative and extremely helpful. Thank you all! We appreciate you all and what your doing here.
Wow I didn’t realize that I had passive influence so much till now thanks for the video it helped me alot
Alot of what is shared here resonates. I'm no longer dissociative, meaning that parts came together but when we weren't yet, so much passive influence took place. It's really validating to watch these vids. Thankyou.
OK, this makes so much sense! I definitely get this, especially with Kitty! The way I described it was a thought or emotion that felt foreign. It was the first thing I really felt was wrong with me and I honestly thought I was going insane. Thank you for making this video ❤️
holy heck all of this stuff are things we relate to heavily, thanks for making this video! also your comment on how self alteration is something that trans people experience a lot really made me think about how my experience as a trans person has influenced my experience as part of a system, and vice versa
I’m a newly diagnosed DID system, so I’m still learning. This was so helpful. These things happen a lot to us and they have been confusing, scary and difficult to deal with. Thank you for explaining it.
Honestly at this point I'm watching your entire channel 😅💙 still undiagnosed but I've experienced almost every point you've presented in this vid, and I'm honestly just so happy to feel not alone in this stuff. Like thought withdrawal is so so common for me, and Ive never had an inner monologue, my whole life I've had inner conversations, many chiming in, not even a dialogue. It's comforting seeing your channel 💙
Ohhh gotta call myself out Kit! I was ALMOST going to make a comment about you being “human” 🤦♀️about not being Daniel’s super fan. (I imagine of you guys as a family, and family doesn’t always get along and I see the respect there, so good on you!) You are rocking that purple lip stick! I really enjoy the videos, I learn so much! ❤️
A bit late to the party, but I've just watched this video and literally said "omg, yes!" to everything said here. I've only recently come across your channel, but we're enjoying it very much! Thank you for all you do to reduce stigma for DID/OSDD systems! 😊💫
Thank you all for posting this video! This really helped broach the subject with our partners in another system, and helped us begin to better understand what we all are going through.
This reminds me of a short sci fi story I read, Hallucination. In that, there was a being who could only communicate with others through passive influence. interesting video as always!
12:10 - I try telling that to myself everytime I'm catched in the feeling that I'm faking it.
Like, if you imagine the perspective of someone who don't actually have that, it must be really hard to understand it all.
and I relate to absolutely everything I hear in every video.
wow; there's a label for a drawer full of weird phenomena, all of which I experience!
Still gotta dance that denial dance, tho. *nervous laughter*
A lot of this makes sense. It explains a ton. The voices and loss of court of my body. Had my arm acting up one day, I realize now it was Alistair clenching my right arm tight.
Oh my gosh! HUGE eye opener. I have not heard of this term. But yes, i have experienced many of these descriptions. It explians alot.
How does this differ from co- consciousness? And could this be the basis of a lot of ddnos? Gotta tell you, this is a HUGE revelation. THANK YOU for doing this video.
Co-consciousness is two or more alters being aware of what is going on outside during a single moment. Passive influence can result from a close co-consciousness though.
DDNOS isn’t actually a diagnosis any longer. Instead, they have OSDD which is broken into subcategories that are much better defined than DDNOS ever was. -Wyn
Well, this explained a lot of my experienses.
For example, sudden loss of skill I had aquired just one week ago. And I don't mean that it had gone hazy, I mean I had no clue whatsoever what I was suppose to do, even if I knew for certain that I had learned it. You know, I felt really frustrated because I knew I was suppose to know, but there was absolutely nothing.
So, I re-learned. Several times. Untill I realised that it was because I had different alt co-con with me. I had to teach them all, how to do the things.
As a gamer... rrrreally confusing and really frustrating.
OH MY GOODNESS! THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. so many emotions. Feeling crazy for so long and hearing that what im experiencing is NORMAL and MAKES SENSE is so validating. I want to cry because it feels so good to understand myself better. THANK YOU.
Just talked to my therapist this past week about thinking i had OSDD and she confirmed that as i finally was able to have some symptoms in front of her. Thank you. If it wasnt for you channel i wouldnt be starting the journey to understand my osdd.
omg thank you so much for covering this. I didn't know there was a word for it. I experience this near constantly. It really had me doubting what it was i even had. its extremely confusing but I at least can handle it a bit more calmly that i know its not just me, instead of fretting about it.
You help me so much I almost cry every time I understand something going on in my head! YOU ARE SO GREAT!
I’m so glad I found this video! This puts so many of my thoughts into context, I’ve been trying to figure out what was wrong with me for days! My alters almost never take over but I feel passive influences all the time, I was beginning to think I’d made the whole thing up or that I had something else entirely.
I didn't know there were set terms for these things! Thank you for talking about it.
Yeah having the WHOA moment... Didn't know there was a word for it! We're so grateful for your system and all the help you've been giving us over the short 6 months sine our "awakening" moment. With so little info out there in a relatable and kind way for those of us starting out the journey and fighting to find correct help, your videos has been an amazing help, source of comfort, and a light when things got dark and confusing. You all are SUPER!
This is all super helpful as many of your videos are and we thank you all for helping everyone, us included.
i never realised how many of these i'd get so often.
i'd usually get auditory hallucinations of a man either saying my name or saying something in general, i havent figured out who yet but i have feelings of who it may be, i get other influences often too most of which i'd figure out who it was pretty quickly.
Just when I think I’ve seen every video, another suggested shows up just when I need it most! ❤️ So, so grateful for The Entropy System’s content, knowledge and candidness. The world needs more people like you!
Good morning entropy! Its a lil early today but i just wanted to let u know i really like ur videos. Ur really good at explaining all the simple and complicated terms and examples at how u see and interact with the world; and what your perception is of the world, and how u interact with it.
I used to date someone with d.i.d. and paranoid schizophrenia. Its was very confusing and alot of drama. Not even her family really knew what she had, so i had to learn on my own, and then teach her own family about it.
It seems like you have no problem explaining to the world about it, with no ill will and i thank you for sharing the experiences of the condition with me.
I watch the ads all the way through so yall get them AD CENTS HONEY!
I love how informative your (and the rest of your system's) videos are~
A lot of these resonate with a lot of what I've experienced through the years but haven't really had definitive terms to call them by.
Like the temporary loss of skill/knowledge. There've been a couple of times I've gone into the kitchen to grab a snack, and I'll get to the cabinet only to realize that I can't for the life of me remember how to open the cabinet. Like the 'reach up with hand' and 'grip door handle' actions just weren't there anymore. It took my friends asking why I'd been staring confusedly at the cabinet for numerous minutes for me to come out of it and explain that I couldn't remember how. Then, it was like I suddenly remembered my hands existed, and it all came back to me. If they hadn't jogged my brain, I'd probably have eventually given up on trying to figure out how to open the cabinet.
Internal conversations is a really big one for me, as well. After I discovered who/what one of my scarier alters really was, it was like everyone wanted to be active and gathered near the front for a while. It made grocery shopping interesting, our little kept alerting us when we passed by something he wanted (coloring books, markers, anything Pooh Bear or Disney related). He usually stays pretty quiet when we're out and about.
Omg your channel is just a breathe of fresh air i love how you explain everything so, well and in detail with every word you really takwe your type to put into contexts and try your very best to show and get into what DID is and what it is all about thank you so much.
I've been binging videos on DID cause we've finally decided it's time to know more about what we have. This video appeared in my recommendation.
Recently one of our Others (what we call Alters) recently withdrew a thought from our 12yo Other to keep him innocent. We know this is was possible but it was never done publicly to our Void/System before with everyone near the front. Normally he's only done it to either stop an argument or lock a negative thought from one of the older of us. Never the youngest. He was later told what had happened and seems okay with having the thought taken though it gave him a sort of amnesia at least for a little bit. That thought is the reason I'm here but still.
Glad to know theres a wire for the things that's been going on inside our head
I'm finding it really difficult to be in denial about possibly having OSDD when this is so damn relatable to my own experience and explains so much. I still feel like I'm faking.
I have passive influence all the time but never knew the vocabulary for it.
5:43 so that's what keeps happening to my train of thought, that makes a lot more sense now. -Julian
Yay! So many uploads, this is a gift :)
oh my word!!! Thank you for that amazing explanation of something that happens to me every day and I cannot seem to figure out what's going on much love to you great job!!!
Im late but dang this is helpful as heck. We have been super struggling with these symptoms. This is a great presentation. 💯
You know, I have known and worked with my alters since the body was 14. We have a vast and interesting, to me, inner world... it is a space ship, however, I have never thought about the influences that you mentioned, looking back, I can think of several times that we have influenced each other... Great video! And like Kris said, I gave up driving because I could drive from Colorado to Kentucky, as the host being the only one fronting, but get to Kentucky and someone else remembers the drive and all the interesting things we saw, but I don't :( so now, maybe, I know why.
Omg so many terms i didn't know the word for but expierenced. Thank you so much for your wonderful videos!