One thing we do, since we work in a restaurant, when we dont know who's fronting, we taste something while saying "THE PERSON WHOS IS TASTING THIS HAVE CONTROL! everyone else, back up please!" if the alters cooperate that day, the person whos is frontong have clearity over his/her actions for a while. For exemple when we're at work, when operationg a sewing machine or when cooking. Basicly any task that can cause us injuries if we're not carefull.
@@caringbrit7cups537 for our system, the taste is fhe last sense to be share while co-conscious! :) We cutted, burned, scratched ourselves to often so we agreed on soing this ;p
Note: we just learned that the body have type 1 diabetes( not enough sugar in my blood), so, from a medical point of view it makes sense: the low blood-sugar level triggers a "survival mode" to incurage me to eat something. BUT, since i have DID, it triggers fast switches and/or loss of focus. If you are like me ( Minia), someone who likes learning stuff about biology and anatomy AND are in a system: I recommend seeing a "medical" doctor to see if what you think about your DID symptoms are actually physical! 🙌✌
Sounds like that one play through of Pokemon where everyone on the internet had access to the controls and the character ended up just running around in circles on screen and getting nothing done because of the mix of conflicting commands.
We kinda deal with a lot of co-consciousness as an OSDD system. There's usually specific pairs that kinda "tag team" things - one person having most of the control and the other is kinda there. Usually it's our Aiden and he's very easily distracted. We usually keep some Game Grumps going for him. Max is better at staying productive in general. I'm the human embodiment of a confused shrug.
thats kinda us. me and my alter Skye are up at the front most of the time. I am the host, and she is the protector, so she protects me. Its amazing, but kinda like having your mom whispering in your ear 24/7 to say please and thank you. - Lex (and Skye, protector and Host)
I'm feeling less embarrassed playing game grumps to soothe/focus part of me after learning that there is a literal other person needing it and that it's normal for another co-fronting one to feel like it's too silly/stupid. A child that wants his episode of funny-show and the grownup that is very serious and just doesn't get it lol
i found out fairly recently about my DID, and this is a concept that i think my boyfriend was struggling to understand the most: when he asks who’s fronting and we say “i don’t know” this happens fairly often at work, bc i guess our job is so fast-paced that we don’t get a chance to focus on who is fronting? we just try to tell ourselves that in that situation, it doesn’t really matter who is out, as long as our work gets done. -rachel
I wish it was that easy for us. We were doing that when working, but then we got fired for seemingly no reason, they said that we had been talked to multiple times and they were tired of it....we had no memory of this, the whoke time we had thought that we were doing at least adequate if not great, but it turns out some of us were slacking or....whatever they were referring to by "talk"....they didn't specify and we weren't out, so we didn't want to ask. 🍀
I just want to thank you for talking about your experience of blending to the point of not being able to move or speak. This is something we have experienced many times and haven’t seen anyone talking about it. It is so scary and we haven’t been able to explain it to the people around us. When this happens, it’s usually over five of us close to the front and no one can get close enough to speak or move. It is frustrating for people around us and so scary and frustrating for us. We get angry with each other, shouting internally for someone to “just walk!”or “someone say something to her!”. We didn’t know this was something other systems experience and I am so relieved to hear your system having been through it too. You’ve also helped me have a better understanding of blending when it happens with just one other alter. I will be kinder to myself now when I notice these things.Thank you for this video, Wyn. - Maddie. (littles.and.us on Instagram)
We experience this when a child alter is near the front. One time there was a little girl playing with a toy and we just had the strongest urge to ask if we could play too. Spent the whole day wondering why this 25 year old body/system would want to play with a barbie lmao
I'm new with my diagnosis and a lot of things you say are happening to us. Is so hard when we don't stop fighting for the control of the body. Thanks for take your time giving us light. God bless you and yes, all of us are valid.
I got triggered bad today. It's something that doesn't happen often, because I have so few and I keep such rigid control over myself. But they managed to make me feel fat. Despite me being underweight to a point you can see my bones I feel like a whale right now. I was actually about to start working out before I messaged some friends and got it a little under control. But I replayed your ending about 5 times because I needed to hear someone say those words to me. So thank you for making that your ending. I didn't realize I needed it til I started crying at the end of the video
Eleanor, each of us is unique, special, loveable and beautiful. You have a lot of love and joy to give to the world and are very valuable. I feel sad that you were triggered to feel bad, the journey can be a tough one. Please be kind to yourself, there is only one of you and no one wants to lose you. Hang onto hope. Wonderful things are often around the next corner, waiting to surprise you. Just keep stepping forward. Big hugs, Cate
Most of the time when this happens with us it’s too confusing to even know if I’m in control of what’s happening or not. Like sometimes Jake’s emotions will be so strong that I think they’re mine, so I think that the body is doing what I want but really I can just feel what he’s feeling super strongly. It’s so strange. - Danny
@System K Danny thanks for sharring this I relate so much!I think this Can get better when the communication gets better? =) Are you a DID or an osd System? ~ NAOMI
Bro.. 5:11 I experience this a lot, I also have alters or parts that are mute as well, they communicate with me inside but when they front I literally can’t speak. Thank you for helping us feel validated 💜
ohh a few nights ago, i wanted to stop doing something but kept doing it, and i'm so used to this that i assumed it was executive dysfunction but maybe its because i wasnt fronting?? fabian was doing stuff on tumblr and i was like "ok its rare we get to be alone so i want to do something while we are before we get too tired because it's getting late" and he can do what he wants to do any time but i cant, but the body kept doing what he wanted anyway and i later blamed myself and was frustrated but maybe it wasnt my fault at all
This makes so much sense when I'm laying on my bed and I (the host) want to get up and get food or whatever the case may be, and my body is just chilling. And I start to get very irritated because I don't have complete control but I'm still conscious. I never understood why that happened before but it makes so much more sense now that I'm starting to get to know my system after a lifetime of confusion. Thank you!!!
I’m so glad you explained this bc people have definitely asked me this and I just ignore it and move on to something else! I don’t want them to get too confused! But you explain everything perfectly!!
Can you talk more about did and your work? Because you work in a lab I would be interested on how you, you’re co workers and your boss handle your did and what happens when you’re dissociating or have a switch. Eventhough you have this disability you achieve so much that’s why I am curious how you handle you’re career with did
Hey everybody! Love the video so much, I've been so curious about this, and this video helped clear things up so much 😄 Congrats on 30k subscribers, here's to 300k more ^_~
Such an important video. Thank you. It is super important for people to see it's not always black and white. Sometimes it's a big mess of confusion. I'm surprised there aren't more videos like this one because it's so complicated discerning between alters, especially if they have similar likes and dislikes. Sometimes cravings help us know who's more out front. When we are too melty we will be stuck in indecision (we don't often get the tug of war effect for some odd reason) The melty rainbow system
Hi Wyn, thanks for another interesting video. I would like to ask about a phenomenon I've seen plenty of systems talk about, something they refer to as "autopilot". What I understood is that there is no one headmate really in control of the body when the body runs on autopilot, it's more like... the body performs automatic things, I imagine it's like a low energy setting in a way... Based on what I heard from others, it seemed to me that either autopilot could almost _sort of_ be considered a separate alter, or that it's the body itself as a... well, "alter". Idk if any of that makes sense, but if your system experiences something like this, could you please maybe clarify what this "autopilot" is exactly, or make a separate video talking about it? I'd really love that explained. Thanks again, hope you have a good day!
I'm not a system, so no personal expereance, but I wonder if a fragment is in control at these times. As I understand it fragments can just hold the abillity to do a certain task or small range of tasks.
As someone who does not have DID, but PTSD, I can more or less understand what Wyn is talking about, in reference to disassociation leading to a scene of fog and inability to function in an effective way. It is comforting to know that others have this feeling, but how does the system work through it,or how have they in the past? I still struggle with this, and in the past your videos on coping and how to think about mental illness have give me great ideas on how to look at situations or positive coping skills I’d never thought of before.
Most of the time one of us can eventually get control of the body. If someone announces that they’re starting to front we all back up as much as we can to let them through with no issue. It’s hard to know where you stop and another alter begins so as soon as anyone starts gaining more sense of self after a blend we’re happy just to have an escape from the confusion. -Wyn
Thank you for the cold comfort. I've been questioning if I've had OSDD-1b lately. Realized at some point that a lot of my previous frustrated/depressed feelings are reflected by an alter in our system (using that loosely since I'm unsure if it's what we are). And had a *very* stressful day today that resulted in uncertainty about who's in front -- the alter who's usually fronting or said frustrated alter. Our current state labels previous deep depressive/burnt-out throes. As terrible as this experience has been, it's nice in a way that we can label it as blending.
You (maybe Kit, but I think Wyn) said something in one of your videos about how people who are making something up don’t wonder if they are making it up. That has honestly helped me so much. I have anxiety and have always been convinced I’m just making my physical manifestations of that anxiety up, like I’m making myself do it. Since watching that video I have found l am able to speak more kindly to myself. Thank you!
Thank you so much for making this one and all your other videos! We have always struggled to find a way to describe this experience and this definitely explained it the best way possible. Just another one of your videos that helps us feel like we aren't alone and helps us understand ourselves and our experiences. 💜 -Tiffany (co-host) of The Amethyst System
Wow, so much of this video resonated with me! I'm very new to my dissociative disorder (whether its OSDD or DID). About a week ago a new alter showed up that I assume was a little. I was watching them but unable to move or even communicate with them at all. There was a period of time where the body just sat there, not moving or speaking for 20 or so seconds before one of us regained control. I moved my hands around and because it's what I wanted to do to check I was in control, I assumed I was. Turns out one of my other alters was fronting, I was just close to the front. Every once and awhile we'd get that overlap where our actions would line up and I'd think I was back in control but I wasn't. What you described is exactly what I experienced. Thank you for this video. I feel much better about my situation now.
I love your saying loved valuable and valid...I've adopted it as my motto! .... Also, man! That has got to be disorienting when you get blended and you dont know who is controlling the body! Thanks for the video! :)
!! AH IM SO GLAD YOU WENT OVER THIS!! we experience this A LOT. so glad its not a super unusual weird experience for other did/osdd folks!!! aaa this makes me feel a lot better. thank you so much for going over this ;o; -salem
Thank you for bring truth to the internet. This is Jessi btw, current host of our system of 9. There wasn't much info when I was diagnosed, about the day to day stuff, only the medical side. We blend constantly, co conscientiousness is a blessing and a curse. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm living my best life here in the present. Love!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR explanation on blending - I had experienced EXACTLY what you described this morning and I was so confused on what was happening - but I appreciate you taking the time to explain it, I feel so much better now.
I want to say thank you. You are answering the questions I didnt know I had. And it usually ends up being from a "well..... maybe it's not it, it's not from -this- specific perspective."
We blend so much on a regular basis. It’s so hard to tell who’s fronting at any given time. Especially since I, as host, am a bit of a control freak so I freak out when I’m not in control so my alters usually (not always tho lol) kinda do what I would do.
Omg we're so glad we saw this tonight because this has been happening a lot today and we weren't sure how to really feel about it. We also just put out a video talking about having that panic experience earlier this week. So glad it's not just us. We so much appreciate your many lovely and informative videos!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for uploading this! We were wondering about this as well and to see that we're not the only system experiencing extreme sorts of blending sometimes truly helps. Take care xx
I have autism and i experience “shut downs” often when I’m over stimulated by the outside world. My partner has DID and we call them shutdowns for him too but he says it’s because of what’s going on inside his head not outside like with mine. Now after seeing this I kinda understand why it gets so overwhelming that he needs to do nothing for a minute.
Thank you for this video!! I recently played the game Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice and there is a character with DID in one of the cases (Case 4/Turnabout Storyteller) so I was wondering if you guys would do a “DID in media” on it?
Thank you for this, you did a really good job of explaining what it is like to be "blending". It rings very true to what we have experienced. We recently realized that this has been the cause of a lot of the sudden headaches we've been having recently, and that has led us to realize that maybe we need a "gatekeeper" part to help us regulate switches so that we aren't all "stepping on each other's toes" so to speak. Lenore volunteered to be that gatekeeper, and so far she has been doing a great job, and we have been having a lot fewer headaches and a lot less confusion! - Leyna
Great video! It’s so good to learn more about DID since I’m not a system. Few things I was wondering about, are you able to choose if you wanna “leave” your body’s control and go to the headspace? And is it possible that the body has no one up front, as a result that everyone is in the headspace? Thanks for sharing all this knowledge with the world, hugs from Brasil
quick summary answer: 1) yes the body can have no one fronting for a little, that’s kind of what happens when you dissociate strong enough without a switch. Usually it’s brief, but that’s just my and my friends experiences. Who knows. 2) Some alters can choose to “leave” or “go inside”, some alters can’t. Some systems are full of alters who can, some are full of alters who absolutely cannot
Yesss thank you for sharing, it gets so confusing!! We can end up feeling really really tired and like we’re moving through mud or water when we’re all blendy and sound processing just stops 🙉 -Ash xx
I have gone through blending so strongly that I was eventually diagnosed with psychogenic non epileptic seizures (another term for these seizures is disassociate seizures) due to triggers I would get pulled away as the host. Because at the time the situation called for the jobs of various alters all the alters associated with the job tried coming forward and it felt like a lot of people were trying to control the body at once. Going back to the controller analogy its like all the alters who tried taking control had a controller plugged in and all of them worked. All alters didn't really have the same plan involved so my body would shut down. I would get uncontrollably tired to the point of catatonia. I wouldn't be able to move or speak. It was as if there was noone fronting. It got really scary when I disassociate while biking and I ran into a car. I stopped riding my bike for awhile cause of it. The disassociative seizures got so bad I was afraid to go out alone so I made sure to stay with Friends. Eventually I got the diagnosis and when I read up on it I saw it was a common symptom of did. Thats when I tried talking to my therapist about the possibility of did and she disagreed for a number of false reasons s so I just left it alone and did my own research and my own set of therapy within my head until I was able to have a better help in therapy. Unfortunately I am still not in a situation where I could have a Therapist centered around trauma but my new therapist seems promising
Thank you for your honesty in sharing this with the world. I also wanted to just say that I absolutely adore your hair color. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for but was unable to define!
The title of this video keeps making me think of the “Who’s on First” skit. Also, this is super interesting and helpful as I try to write a character with DID.
This was very helpful thank you. Of our system of seven, 3 of us front ~98% of the time, and all are capable of co-consciousness with one another. We also seem to switch really really slowly compared to other systems...??? It seems like most of the times we switch its very gradual and takes place over the course of thirty to 45 minutes and we are blended for the entire duration, so it can sometimes be very difficult to tell who's paying attention and who's in control, but this was definitely helpful thanks.
this video was so very validating to my system - we recently discovered that our system fits best described as an OSDD1-a system and we are starting to vlog our experiences as look for as much information as we can possibly find to help us feel validated. thank you for sharing this video last year, we do really hope you come back to us! #thenoodlesystem #osdd1a #valididmovement #systempride
I love this video!!! It is so interesting to hear about your daily life. We all have different coping methods. All those different ways make people amazing!! ~ Rachel Ann
The best way I can explain blending (to the point of everything slowing down) is that it feels like you are slightly lagging while everything else goes on at a normal speed. That's usually how I explain it to people who don't know what it's like.
I continuously invalidate myself because of how aware I seem to be at most times while my alters are fronting. Thank you for your videos and validating our experiences as not abnormal ❤ it's hard for our therapist to explain this to me so I always feel "fake". Thank you Wynn and Entropy System ❤❤❤❤❤
I have periods of not being able to speak and/or move, and I struggled to attribute to anything specific. I also have an alter who can't speak, so there was some confusion in that regard as well.
Thank you for explaining this! It makes more sense now hearing you say it. DissociaDid just showed us this in an unboxing video with Chloe and Kyle. You could hear them both talking and now that you’ve explained this I feel like I understand it more.
We‘re blending a lot lately - which leads to us spending most of the day on the sofa, not being able to eat properly (or at all) or to tackle the mess in our apartment. It’s awful :-(.
I think I’d might be helpful if you guys decided on a movement or word or something like that to each alter so that when you can’t tell who’s up front whoever is confused about it can let’s say snap 3 times and if the body doesn’t, they know they’re not up front
Heh. We like to call this state "alter soup", and thankfully it doesn't happen that often. And there's like, 70+ of us too, so it gets REALLY confusing, and then one person will only have full control for a few minutes before getting lost again in the swirl, while Les (our gatekeeper) is scrambling in the background trying to get somebody, anybody to stay front for longer than six to ten minutes. Crap, now I really want soup. -Skeet
Thank you for the video, I have DID but my alters and system isnt completely whole and is fragmented(Thank 25 years of nothing but abuse, I am a 25 year old) I have only a few but when they front they are in full control: compassion who is a mother(guardian and gatekeeper), lust, rage (Persacutor) and Insanity(This one is a weird one, we dont know who this is, not even my psych but it is the idea that it is my shattered mind as an alter; he is never allowed to front by even rage who is awful to me and everyone, a representation of my hatred and warped reality) When one fronts is dependant of my mental state and I have now got a degree of control through grounding, when I feel dispair compassion fronts completely and takes full control but as she discribes, put my mask on and uses the way I walk as well as talk and memories to communicate with people. She does this to ease my soul and mind, like a reset button and when I come back I feel calm and at ease
I am starting my own journey into self awareness and healing, and while my initial diagnosis was c-ptsd, I am starting to find a LOT of things that are familiar to me from people with DID... Just the other day, someone wanted control of the arm but couldn't get it, but was able to wiggle the eyebrows... no one in here has a name and we're not sure how to tell ourselves apart yet but it is dawning on me that this is happening and I am a little terrified
I’ve been questioning if I have osdd or did for a while now, (still don’t know which) your videos have helped me so much in figuring it out. I still haven’t been able to get diagnosed as I have been too nervous to even accept my alters! (Is that the right way of wording that?) But I have realized that I have a little named pumpkin and someone else who doesn’t want to tell me their name quite yet (they are still upset with me for trying to block them out) I have an appointment today with my therapist, and I finally have the knowledge and courage to talk about this! Thank you again for being able to post about your journey and everything you know and have learned!! -Elliot P.s. sorry if this is hard to read, I feel like both the others are trying to see what I’m typing
UPDATE: Well. As soon as I walked into my appointment, I told my therapist I thought I might have a dissociative disorder. To which she immediately shook her head, smiled, and said, you do not have a dissociative disorder. I have talked to her for months about pumpkin, and my extreme dissociative episodes where I remember little to nothing, I don’t know what to do
THANK YOU...I never understood why in a therapist session that caused, I guess many feelings....then suddenly like NOBODY'S HOME. I can see out, but cannot talk or move. Inside I'm yelling 'somebody do something'! Fearful I might be stuck like this forever 🥺. I wondered if this was some odd catatonia. Now I know, what I suspected, nobody's was out at all. 🤷♀️ cool to know.
You said its been a long time since you were so blended much of the time. Can you do a video on what someone can learn to help that situation. I dont have DID. Still looking for a specialist in DDNOS but this video makes much sense as is something my parts an i have experienced a huge amount of the time with a craptone of unpredictable amnesia.
I'm learning more about DID and OSDD cuz I've been suspecting that I/we have it for a while and this video really feels on point for a lot of things i experience
This just happened to us and it was weird. Glad there is a video about it because I thought it was a strange thing to not know what was happening XD- michael
This happens a lot with messaging for us. A lot of times I'll be fronting, and someone else will send a text all of a sudden, and then they're gone until the person they messaged replies.
In therapy, where I can get super switchy, the major way we know if the host leaves is when it feels super uncomfortable to refer to her as 'I' and 'me'. Sometimes we say 'Isabel did this, and she felt this way', which freaks out most people who don't understand DID.
This is a great video! As an OSDD-1b, this blend is my regular day. I have to think about it like a soundboard, where I can sorta know who is influencing the body more than others, and who is present, by how high their dial is. So many times I am in the middle of something and suddenly someone doesn't want to do it at all; or someone cranks their dial up high and pulls me lower so that I don't know I'm being heavily influenced. But I know patterns, and sometimes I can get a handle on us. Sometimes, creepy feeling, we all speak like some fucking borg collective and it weirds me out. Sometimes it's sitting on the chair and trying to work out what we need to do. But I always feel like a mix, with the beat, or the horns, or the melody turned up at different times.
I had a rough blending experience a few days ago that lasted for like 3 days. Turned out that at least part of the issue was that my alters wanted to be out but being out was giving them gender dysphoria (I, the core and host, am the only female in both biological and identity sense while all the others are either male or agender). They did not like the fact that I had been wearing bras recently (I am very small breasted so I can often get away with not wearing a bra so they're used to no bras). It was also very interesting the first time two of my boys blended as they did it on purpose to see how well that could potentially help them with some functions. Two heads are better than one, right? Well... That first time they did it it was very uncoordinated but quite amusing to witness from the background. At times, they did okay, but sometimes they would just completely freeze since they'd be putting out opposing commands. It could be very well compared to tug-o-war. Two alters in equal strength pulling in opposite directions only resulted in the rope not moving.
I can see why people would think this disorder is fake. The entire story was a Rollercoaster and almost as if from a movie. That's pretty amazing if you ask me!
My alters seem to blend in my mind's eye too (OSDD-1B, supposedly), like, we have one that has long black hair and a big jawline and another who has blonde spiky hair and is taller. And when they're both close, if I see myself (if WE see ourselves) with my mind's eye imma see spiky dark brown hair, mid height between the two and a little of a jawline but not as much as black hair guy. Is this normal?
Hello win my name is Kelly I just started following u on Instagram love your channel you and your alters are Awesome p.s. thanks for the education about DID
Gosh blending sucks. I usually get blended between 3 or 4 and at times even more. I have OCD and control and autonomy are things I get very distresssed if I don't have to certain degrees so im usually fronting or near fronting. It becomes really bleh at times from it. And like with the couples or tbh couples to be its odd. Blending happens alot when I want to talk with my friends and two alters are very very near front communicating to each other. Even as Im writing this I cam feel Arthur and Francis. (Arthur is near my left temple like right above it and i can feel Francis in the back of my neck kinda moving twords Arthur) i dunno what to do but ill hopefully think of something
I'm a singleton, but I can kind of understand that bit between dreaming and waking because my dreams can be pretty intense - and so mundane that it's like I'm actually living a slightly different life in my sleep. I'd also imagine the confusion of trying to go through a door at the same time as someone else, and feeling a bit dumb and unaware of your environment as you try to do the awkward "you, no you first" dance. I hope that with the increased communication and cooperation that comes with having a "functional" DID system, that you're less likely to spend much time in the fog of blended confusion. That's what I would assume, because instead of fighting amongst yourselves you would hopefully be able to take a moment to figure out who should be in control of the body. Especially if you have an alter that has the role of gatekeeper/protector and deciding who is out. It would be pretty scary if that was happening when you're in a dangerous situation (e.g. trying to cross the street or worse), or when you need to focus on something that could be dangerous if you spaced out (e.g. driving a car).
Communication has definitely decreased the amount of blending we experience but it still happens from time to time. Mostly during periods of high stress or if we try and suppress switching. Even with our gatekeeper, accidental blending occurs. -Wyn
Hello, I found out that I had some form of OSDD or DID(working to get the full diagnosis very soon) quite recently. And I saw this video a few days ago but up until now, I've only had one time where I couldn't control who fronted. My alters(There's 3 of us including me) didn't mean to front in this story and I'm not 100% sure if all my terminology is correct as I'm new to this but I sent this to my friend today explaining what happened. I really hope someone finds this and either learns from it or is able to prepare for such situations if they only found out recently but here it is. Squirell - 6 years old, a female squirrel, Currently my systems coping mechanism for when I go downhill. Harold- 19, english man, Currently the caretaker of squirell and trauma holder as well My mom gave me $30 to do something for her next week. So I went to the vape store but the entire way there I was dissociating and I now realize it's cause Squirell and Harold were both fronting along with me. So on my way back, Squirell was jerking my head to look at the sights while Harold was trying to drive with me but jerking the wheel sometimes(He has never driven before). So when I was almost to my house, they decided they wanted chips with the rest of the money so I ended up going past my house and heading to the store but I took over and did a u turn on the way there. I went home but when I got home, they wouldn't stop bugging me for chips and zaxbys and maybe a beanie for Harold. So I delt with it for a minute before giving in and heading to the store again for chips. They didn't have the fucking chips they wanted. So I went to my car to ask wtf they wanted and I decided I'll buy cigarettes again to please almost everyone. But when I went in, I think Harold decided to help and kinda grounded me and I became a lot more calm and spoke clearly and went home and I was calm while driving too. If anyone has experienced this or something similar, I promise you're not alone. It's my first time having all of us front at the same time, let alone without anyone actually meaning to front. I now realize exactly how scary and dangerous this disorder can be but please stay calm, you can get through this.
When you were talking, I imagined it like wading through water. Secondly, a question: Would blending be like integration (in those moments, but not lasting)?
do you ever have situations when multiple alters are co conscious and have similar/the same intentions and feelings and therefore get confused as to who is fronting? For example the body is hungry and two of you really close to the front both think the same thing sounds good? Does that make things confusing?
One thing we do, since we work in a restaurant, when we dont know who's fronting, we taste something while saying "THE PERSON WHOS IS TASTING THIS HAVE CONTROL! everyone else, back up please!" if the alters cooperate that day, the person whos is frontong have clearity over his/her actions for a while.
For exemple when we're at work, when operationg a sewing machine or when cooking. Basicly any task that can cause us injuries if we're not carefull.
Amazing tip to share a bit of mindfulness tasting love that
@@caringbrit7cups537 for our system, the taste is fhe last sense to be share while co-conscious! :)
We cutted, burned, scratched ourselves to often so we agreed on soing this ;p
@@sergentminia2167 Thats amazing you all agreed though :)
That’s so clever!! What a great coping skill to have in your arsenal 😮 -Wyn
Note: we just learned that the body have type 1 diabetes( not enough sugar in my blood), so, from a medical point of view it makes sense: the low blood-sugar level triggers a "survival mode" to incurage me to eat something. BUT, since i have DID, it triggers fast switches and/or loss of focus.
If you are like me ( Minia), someone who likes learning stuff about biology and anatomy AND are in a system: I recommend seeing a "medical" doctor to see if what you think about your DID symptoms are actually physical! 🙌✌
Sounds like that one play through of Pokemon where everyone on the internet had access to the controls and the character ended up just running around in circles on screen and getting nothing done because of the mix of conflicting commands.
Sounds about right 😂 -Wyn
We kinda deal with a lot of co-consciousness as an OSDD system. There's usually specific pairs that kinda "tag team" things - one person having most of the control and the other is kinda there. Usually it's our Aiden and he's very easily distracted. We usually keep some Game Grumps going for him. Max is better at staying productive in general. I'm the human embodiment of a confused shrug.
I relate. I also have a persona named Ayden! :D
"human embodiment of a confused shrug." I love your phrasing!
thats kinda us. me and my alter Skye are up at the front most of the time. I am the host, and she is the protector, so she protects me. Its amazing, but kinda like having your mom whispering in your ear 24/7 to say please and thank you.
- Lex (and Skye, protector and Host)
I'm feeling less embarrassed playing game grumps to soothe/focus part of me after learning that there is a literal other person needing it and that it's normal for another co-fronting one to feel like it's too silly/stupid.
A child that wants his episode of funny-show and the grownup that is very serious and just doesn't get it lol
i found out fairly recently about my DID, and this is a concept that i think my boyfriend was struggling to understand the most: when he asks who’s fronting and we say “i don’t know”
this happens fairly often at work, bc i guess our job is so fast-paced that we don’t get a chance to focus on who is fronting? we just try to tell ourselves that in that situation, it doesn’t really matter who is out, as long as our work gets done. -rachel
I wish it was that easy for us. We were doing that when working, but then we got fired for seemingly no reason, they said that we had been talked to multiple times and they were tired of it....we had no memory of this, the whoke time we had thought that we were doing at least adequate if not great, but it turns out some of us were slacking or....whatever they were referring to by "talk"....they didn't specify and we weren't out, so we didn't want to ask.
🍀
I just want to thank you for talking about your experience of blending to the point of not being able to move or speak. This is something we have experienced many times and haven’t seen anyone talking about it. It is so scary and we haven’t been able to explain it to the people around us. When this happens, it’s usually over five of us close to the front and no one can get close enough to speak or move. It is frustrating for people around us and so scary and frustrating for us. We get angry with each other, shouting internally for someone to “just walk!”or “someone say something to her!”. We didn’t know this was something other systems experience and I am so relieved to hear your system having been through it too. You’ve also helped me have a better understanding of blending when it happens with just one other alter. I will be kinder to myself now when I notice these things.Thank you for this video, Wyn. - Maddie. (littles.and.us on Instagram)
We experience this when a child alter is near the front. One time there was a little girl playing with a toy and we just had the strongest urge to ask if we could play too. Spent the whole day wondering why this 25 year old body/system would want to play with a barbie lmao
I'm new with my diagnosis and a lot of things you say are happening to us. Is so hard when we don't stop fighting for the control of the body. Thanks for take your time giving us light. God bless you and yes, all of us are valid.
I got triggered bad today. It's something that doesn't happen often, because I have so few and I keep such rigid control over myself. But they managed to make me feel fat. Despite me being underweight to a point you can see my bones I feel like a whale right now. I was actually about to start working out before I messaged some friends and got it a little under control. But I replayed your ending about 5 times because I needed to hear someone say those words to me.
So thank you for making that your ending. I didn't realize I needed it til I started crying at the end of the video
Eleanor, each of us is unique, special, loveable and beautiful. You have a lot of love and joy to give to the world and are very valuable. I feel sad that you were triggered to feel bad, the journey can be a tough one. Please be kind to yourself, there is only one of you and no one wants to lose you. Hang onto hope. Wonderful things are often around the next corner, waiting to surprise you. Just keep stepping forward. Big hugs, Cate
Most of the time when this happens with us it’s too confusing to even know if I’m in control of what’s happening or not. Like sometimes Jake’s emotions will be so strong that I think they’re mine, so I think that the body is doing what I want but really I can just feel what he’s feeling super strongly. It’s so strange.
- Danny
@System K
Danny thanks for sharring this I relate so much!I think this Can get better when the communication gets better? =) Are you a DID or an osd System?
~ NAOMI
Bro.. 5:11 I experience this a lot, I also have alters or parts that are mute as well, they communicate with me inside but when they front I literally can’t speak. Thank you for helping us feel validated 💜
this.... explains so much. wow. thank you
Your lives are so complex. Your ability to cope is outstanding, thank you so much for sharing.
ohh a few nights ago, i wanted to stop doing something but kept doing it, and i'm so used to this that i assumed it was executive dysfunction but maybe its because i wasnt fronting?? fabian was doing stuff on tumblr and i was like "ok its rare we get to be alone so i want to do something while we are before we get too tired because it's getting late" and he can do what he wants to do any time but i cant, but the body kept doing what he wanted anyway and i later blamed myself and was frustrated but maybe it wasnt my fault at all
Thank you Entropy System! Your videos really help us understand ourselves better, and they also help us feel less alone!
This makes so much sense when I'm laying on my bed and I (the host) want to get up and get food or whatever the case may be, and my body is just chilling. And I start to get very irritated because I don't have complete control but I'm still conscious. I never understood why that happened before but it makes so much more sense now that I'm starting to get to know my system after a lifetime of confusion. Thank you!!!
I’m so glad you explained this bc people have definitely asked me this and I just ignore it and move on to something else! I don’t want them to get too confused! But you explain everything perfectly!!
This channel is seriously my safe spot.
This is exactly what I’m sooo confused about. It’s hard to really explain here but I appreciate it. (Sorry for spamming just excited🤦🏼♀️😂)
I JUST WANTED TO SAY YOU'RE ALL GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CUTIES ❤❤❤❤
Can you talk more about did and your work? Because you work in a lab I would be interested on how you, you’re co workers and your boss handle your did and what happens when you’re dissociating or have a switch. Eventhough you have this disability you achieve so much that’s why I am curious how you handle you’re career with did
We actually interviewed our boss on the subject! We’ll be posting that interview in the next few weeks. -Wyn
The Entropy System so excited!
I love how your kitty gets into most if not all of your videos!
Hey everybody! Love the video so much, I've been so curious about this, and this video helped clear things up so much 😄 Congrats on 30k subscribers, here's to 300k more ^_~
Such an important video. Thank you. It is super important for people to see it's not always black and white. Sometimes it's a big mess of confusion. I'm surprised there aren't more videos like this one because it's so complicated discerning between alters, especially if they have similar likes and dislikes. Sometimes cravings help us know who's more out front. When we are too melty we will be stuck in indecision (we don't often get the tug of war effect for some odd reason)
The melty rainbow system
Hi Wyn, thanks for another interesting video.
I would like to ask about a phenomenon I've seen plenty of systems talk about, something they refer to as "autopilot". What I understood is that there is no one headmate really in control of the body when the body runs on autopilot, it's more like... the body performs automatic things, I imagine it's like a low energy setting in a way... Based on what I heard from others, it seemed to me that either autopilot could almost _sort of_ be considered a separate alter, or that it's the body itself as a... well, "alter". Idk if any of that makes sense, but if your system experiences something like this, could you please maybe clarify what this "autopilot" is exactly, or make a separate video talking about it? I'd really love that explained.
Thanks again, hope you have a good day!
Yeah, I've experienced this before. Mundane tasks. I sometimes forget that I've done them too.
I do this! It’s like a kind of muscle memory I guess?
Thanks everyone for your answers! ❤
I'm not a system, so no personal expereance, but I wonder if a fragment is in control at these times. As I understand it fragments can just hold the abillity to do a certain task or small range of tasks.
As someone who does not have DID, but PTSD, I can more or less understand what Wyn is talking about, in reference to disassociation leading to a scene of fog and inability to function in an effective way.
It is comforting to know that others have this feeling, but how does the system work through it,or how have they in the past? I still struggle with this, and in the past your videos on coping and how to think about mental illness have give me great ideas on how to look at situations or positive coping skills I’d never thought of before.
Seriously! Thank you all so much for everything you do!!!
Most of the time one of us can eventually get control of the body. If someone announces that they’re starting to front we all back up as much as we can to let them through with no issue. It’s hard to know where you stop and another alter begins so as soon as anyone starts gaining more sense of self after a blend we’re happy just to have an escape from the confusion. -Wyn
Thank you for the cold comfort. I've been questioning if I've had OSDD-1b lately. Realized at some point that a lot of my previous frustrated/depressed feelings are reflected by an alter in our system (using that loosely since I'm unsure if it's what we are). And had a *very* stressful day today that resulted in uncertainty about who's in front -- the alter who's usually fronting or said frustrated alter. Our current state labels previous deep depressive/burnt-out throes. As terrible as this experience has been, it's nice in a way that we can label it as blending.
You (maybe Kit, but I think Wyn) said something in one of your videos about how people who are making something up don’t wonder if they are making it up. That has honestly helped me so much. I have anxiety and have always been convinced I’m just making my physical manifestations of that anxiety up, like I’m making myself do it. Since watching that video I have found l am able to speak more kindly to myself. Thank you!
Thank you so much for making this one and all your other videos! We have always struggled to find a way to describe this experience and this definitely explained it the best way possible. Just another one of your videos that helps us feel like we aren't alone and helps us understand ourselves and our experiences. 💜 -Tiffany (co-host) of The Amethyst System
Wow, so much of this video resonated with me! I'm very new to my dissociative disorder (whether its OSDD or DID). About a week ago a new alter showed up that I assume was a little. I was watching them but unable to move or even communicate with them at all. There was a period of time where the body just sat there, not moving or speaking for 20 or so seconds before one of us regained control. I moved my hands around and because it's what I wanted to do to check I was in control, I assumed I was. Turns out one of my other alters was fronting, I was just close to the front. Every once and awhile we'd get that overlap where our actions would line up and I'd think I was back in control but I wasn't. What you described is exactly what I experienced. Thank you for this video. I feel much better about my situation now.
I love your saying loved valuable and valid...I've adopted it as my motto! .... Also, man! That has got to be disorienting when you get blended and you dont know who is controlling the body! Thanks for the video! :)
!! AH IM SO GLAD YOU WENT OVER THIS!! we experience this A LOT. so glad its not a super unusual weird experience for other did/osdd folks!!! aaa this makes me feel a lot better. thank you so much for going over this ;o; -salem
Thank you for bring truth to the internet. This is Jessi btw, current host of our system of 9. There wasn't much info when I was diagnosed, about the day to day stuff, only the medical side. We blend constantly, co conscientiousness is a blessing and a curse. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm living my best life here in the present. Love!!!!
Great video!
I love it
- Kai
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR explanation on blending - I had experienced EXACTLY what you described this morning and I was so confused on what was happening - but I appreciate you taking the time to explain it, I feel so much better now.
Loved your blouse, super cute.
I want to say thank you.
You are answering the questions I didnt know I had. And it usually ends up being from a "well..... maybe it's not it, it's not from -this- specific perspective."
We blend so much on a regular basis. It’s so hard to tell who’s fronting at any given time. Especially since I, as host, am a bit of a control freak so I freak out when I’m not in control so my alters usually (not always tho lol) kinda do what I would do.
Omg we're so glad we saw this tonight because this has been happening a lot today and we weren't sure how to really feel about it. We also just put out a video talking about having that panic experience earlier this week. So glad it's not just us. We so much appreciate your many lovely and informative videos!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for uploading this! We were wondering about this as well and to see that we're not the only system experiencing extreme sorts of blending sometimes truly helps. Take care xx
I adore you all❤️
I have autism and i experience “shut downs” often when I’m over stimulated by the outside world. My partner has DID and we call them shutdowns for him too but he says it’s because of what’s going on inside his head not outside like with mine. Now after seeing this I kinda understand why it gets so overwhelming that he needs to do nothing for a minute.
Very timely lol I was just having this issue last night and this morning
Thank you for this video!! I recently played the game Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice and there is a character with DID in one of the cases (Case 4/Turnabout Storyteller) so I was wondering if you guys would do a “DID in media” on it?
This has always been a question for me, thank you so much for addressing it
Thank you for this, you did a really good job of explaining what it is like to be "blending". It rings very true to what we have experienced. We recently realized that this has been the cause of a lot of the sudden headaches we've been having recently, and that has led us to realize that maybe we need a "gatekeeper" part to help us regulate switches so that we aren't all "stepping on each other's toes" so to speak. Lenore volunteered to be that gatekeeper, and so far she has been doing a great job, and we have been having a lot fewer headaches and a lot less confusion! - Leyna
Great video! It’s so good to learn more about DID since I’m not a system. Few things I was wondering about, are you able to choose if you wanna “leave” your body’s control and go to the headspace? And is it possible that the body has no one up front, as a result that everyone is in the headspace? Thanks for sharing all this knowledge with the world, hugs from Brasil
quick summary answer: 1) yes the body can have no one fronting for a little, that’s kind of what happens when you dissociate strong enough without a switch. Usually it’s brief, but that’s just my and my friends experiences. Who knows.
2) Some alters can choose to “leave” or “go inside”, some alters can’t. Some systems are full of alters who can, some are full of alters who absolutely cannot
Thank you!!
Yesss thank you for sharing, it gets so confusing!! We can end up feeling really really tired and like we’re moving through mud or water when we’re all blendy and sound processing just stops 🙉 -Ash xx
I have gone through blending so strongly that I was eventually diagnosed with psychogenic non epileptic seizures (another term for these seizures is disassociate seizures) due to triggers I would get pulled away as the host. Because at the time the situation called for the jobs of various alters all the alters associated with the job tried coming forward and it felt like a lot of people were trying to control the body at once. Going back to the controller analogy its like all the alters who tried taking control had a controller plugged in and all of them worked. All alters didn't really have the same plan involved so my body would shut down. I would get uncontrollably tired to the point of catatonia. I wouldn't be able to move or speak. It was as if there was noone fronting. It got really scary when I disassociate while biking and I ran into a car. I stopped riding my bike for awhile cause of it. The disassociative seizures got so bad I was afraid to go out alone so I made sure to stay with Friends. Eventually I got the diagnosis and when I read up on it I saw it was a common symptom of did. Thats when I tried talking to my therapist about the possibility of did and she disagreed for a number of false reasons s so I just left it alone and did my own research and my own set of therapy within my head until I was able to have a better help in therapy. Unfortunately I am still not in a situation where I could have a Therapist centered around trauma but my new therapist seems promising
Thank you for your honesty in sharing this with the world. I also wanted to just say that I absolutely adore your hair color. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for but was unable to define!
Fascinating stuff.
watched a few of your u tube helpful advice and explanations, thank you for sharing. No pun intended 👍
So good to hear someone describe my reality.
Another great educational video. Thank you for being such a great channel! 💕
The title of this video keeps making me think of the “Who’s on First” skit. Also, this is super interesting and helpful as I try to write a character with DID.
This was very helpful thank you. Of our system of seven, 3 of us front ~98% of the time, and all are capable of co-consciousness with one another. We also seem to switch really really slowly compared to other systems...??? It seems like most of the times we switch its very gradual and takes place over the course of thirty to 45 minutes and we are blended for the entire duration, so it can sometimes be very difficult to tell who's paying attention and who's in control, but this was definitely helpful thanks.
this video was so very validating to my system - we recently discovered that our system fits best described as an OSDD1-a system and we are starting to vlog our experiences as look for as much information as we can possibly find to help us feel validated. thank you for sharing this video last year, we do really hope you come back to us! #thenoodlesystem #osdd1a #valididmovement #systempride
Excellent vid. Thanks. You all rock!
Wow...I hope it doesn't sound insensitive, but this is fascinating! It's amazing what the human mind can do. Thank you for sharing!
I am friends with a did system and I've noticed this between 2 alters mainly so thanks for this
I love this video!!! It is so interesting to hear about your daily life. We all have different coping methods. All those different ways make people amazing!!
~ Rachel Ann
Yes loved valuable valid socks! Gotta get me a pair
Really interesting topic! Also, I love that shirt on y’all!
The best way I can explain blending (to the point of everything slowing down) is that it feels like you are slightly lagging while everything else goes on at a normal speed. That's usually how I explain it to people who don't know what it's like.
I continuously invalidate myself because of how aware I seem to be at most times while my alters are fronting. Thank you for your videos and validating our experiences as not abnormal ❤ it's hard for our therapist to explain this to me so I always feel "fake". Thank you Wynn and Entropy System ❤❤❤❤❤
I have periods of not being able to speak and/or move, and I struggled to attribute to anything specific. I also have an alter who can't speak, so there was some confusion in that regard as well.
Love valuable valid socks are something the world have never thought it needed, but it sure does
Thank you for explaining this! It makes more sense now hearing you say it. DissociaDid just showed us this in an unboxing video with Chloe and Kyle. You could hear them both talking and now that you’ve explained this I feel like I understand it more.
We‘re blending a lot lately - which leads to us spending most of the day on the sofa, not being able to eat properly (or at all) or to tackle the mess in our apartment. It’s awful :-(.
I think I’d might be helpful if you guys decided on a movement or word or something like that to each alter so that when you can’t tell who’s up front whoever is confused about it can let’s say snap 3 times and if the body doesn’t, they know they’re not up front
Heh. We like to call this state "alter soup", and thankfully it doesn't happen that often. And there's like, 70+ of us too, so it gets REALLY confusing, and then one person will only have full control for a few minutes before getting lost again in the swirl, while Les (our gatekeeper) is scrambling in the background trying to get somebody, anybody to stay front for longer than six to ten minutes. Crap, now I really want soup.
-Skeet
Finally got the notification 🎉🎉
Thank you for the video,
I have DID but my alters and system isnt completely whole and is fragmented(Thank 25 years of nothing but abuse, I am a 25 year old)
I have only a few but when they front they are in full control: compassion who is a mother(guardian and gatekeeper), lust, rage (Persacutor) and Insanity(This one is a weird one, we dont know who this is, not even my psych but it is the idea that it is my shattered mind as an alter; he is never allowed to front by even rage who is awful to me and everyone, a representation of my hatred and warped reality)
When one fronts is dependant of my mental state and I have now got a degree of control through grounding, when I feel dispair compassion fronts completely and takes full control but as she discribes, put my mask on and uses the way I walk as well as talk and memories to communicate with people. She does this to ease my soul and mind, like a reset button and when I come back I feel calm and at ease
I am starting my own journey into self awareness and healing, and while my initial diagnosis was c-ptsd, I am starting to find a LOT of things that are familiar to me from people with DID... Just the other day, someone wanted control of the arm but couldn't get it, but was able to wiggle the eyebrows... no one in here has a name and we're not sure how to tell ourselves apart yet but it is dawning on me that this is happening and I am a little terrified
I’ve been questioning if I have osdd or did for a while now, (still don’t know which) your videos have helped me so much in figuring it out. I still haven’t been able to get diagnosed as I have been too nervous to even accept my alters! (Is that the right way of wording that?) But I have realized that I have a little named pumpkin and someone else who doesn’t want to tell me their name quite yet (they are still upset with me for trying to block them out) I have an appointment today with my therapist, and I finally have the knowledge and courage to talk about this! Thank you again for being able to post about your journey and everything you know and have learned!! -Elliot
P.s. sorry if this is hard to read, I feel like both the others are trying to see what I’m typing
UPDATE:
Well. As soon as I walked into my appointment, I told my therapist I thought I might have a dissociative disorder. To which she immediately shook her head, smiled, and said, you do not have a dissociative disorder. I have talked to her for months about pumpkin, and my extreme dissociative episodes where I remember little to nothing, I don’t know what to do
THANK YOU...I never understood why in a therapist session that caused, I guess many feelings....then suddenly like NOBODY'S HOME. I can see out, but cannot talk or move. Inside I'm yelling 'somebody do something'! Fearful I might be stuck like this forever 🥺.
I wondered if this was some odd catatonia. Now I know, what I suspected, nobody's was out at all. 🤷♀️ cool to know.
You said its been a long time since you were so blended much of the time. Can you do a video on what someone can learn to help that situation. I dont have DID. Still looking for a specialist in DDNOS but this video makes much sense as is something my parts an i have experienced a huge amount of the time with a craptone of unpredictable amnesia.
I'm learning more about DID and OSDD cuz I've been suspecting that I/we have it for a while and this video really feels on point for a lot of things i experience
This just happened to us and it was weird. Glad there is a video about it because I thought it was a strange thing to not know what was happening XD- michael
I have felt like this at least a minimum of one time possibly two but I don’t remember when that happened
This happens a lot with messaging for us. A lot of times I'll be fronting, and someone else will send a text all of a sudden, and then they're gone until the person they messaged replies.
In therapy, where I can get super switchy, the major way we know if the host leaves is when it feels super uncomfortable to refer to her as 'I' and 'me'. Sometimes we say 'Isabel did this, and she felt this way', which freaks out most people who don't understand DID.
This is a great video! As an OSDD-1b, this blend is my regular day. I have to think about it like a soundboard, where I can sorta know who is influencing the body more than others, and who is present, by how high their dial is. So many times I am in the middle of something and suddenly someone doesn't want to do it at all; or someone cranks their dial up high and pulls me lower so that I don't know I'm being heavily influenced. But I know patterns, and sometimes I can get a handle on us. Sometimes, creepy feeling, we all speak like some fucking borg collective and it weirds me out. Sometimes it's sitting on the chair and trying to work out what we need to do. But I always feel like a mix, with the beat, or the horns, or the melody turned up at different times.
This is such a great analogy! -Wyn
I had a rough blending experience a few days ago that lasted for like 3 days. Turned out that at least part of the issue was that my alters wanted to be out but being out was giving them gender dysphoria (I, the core and host, am the only female in both biological and identity sense while all the others are either male or agender). They did not like the fact that I had been wearing bras recently (I am very small breasted so I can often get away with not wearing a bra so they're used to no bras).
It was also very interesting the first time two of my boys blended as they did it on purpose to see how well that could potentially help them with some functions. Two heads are better than one, right? Well... That first time they did it it was very uncoordinated but quite amusing to witness from the background. At times, they did okay, but sometimes they would just completely freeze since they'd be putting out opposing commands. It could be very well compared to tug-o-war. Two alters in equal strength pulling in opposite directions only resulted in the rope not moving.
Very interesting 😊
I can see why people would think this disorder is fake. The entire story was a Rollercoaster and almost as if from a movie. That's pretty amazing if you ask me!
My alters seem to blend in my mind's eye too (OSDD-1B, supposedly), like, we have one that has long black hair and a big jawline and another who has blonde spiky hair and is taller. And when they're both close, if I see myself (if WE see ourselves) with my mind's eye imma see spiky dark brown hair, mid height between the two and a little of a jawline but not as much as black hair guy. Is this normal?
Every single morning
thankyou so much for explaining it it sounmds like it was hard to do but yayy you did it :) and i know what you mean by it
BEST VIDEO EVER!!
Hello win my name is Kelly I just started following u on Instagram love your channel you and your alters are Awesome p.s. thanks for the education about DID
ALSO, KIT !!! You need to make Bow and sell them 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️❤️
Gosh blending sucks. I usually get blended between 3 or 4 and at times even more. I have OCD and control and autonomy are things I get very distresssed if I don't have to certain degrees so im usually fronting or near fronting. It becomes really bleh at times from it. And like with the couples or tbh couples to be its odd. Blending happens alot when I want to talk with my friends and two alters are very very near front communicating to each other. Even as Im writing this I cam feel Arthur and Francis. (Arthur is near my left temple like right above it and i can feel Francis in the back of my neck kinda moving twords Arthur) i dunno what to do but ill hopefully think of something
I'm a singleton, but I can kind of understand that bit between dreaming and waking because my dreams can be pretty intense - and so mundane that it's like I'm actually living a slightly different life in my sleep. I'd also imagine the confusion of trying to go through a door at the same time as someone else, and feeling a bit dumb and unaware of your environment as you try to do the awkward "you, no you first" dance.
I hope that with the increased communication and cooperation that comes with having a "functional" DID system, that you're less likely to spend much time in the fog of blended confusion. That's what I would assume, because instead of fighting amongst yourselves you would hopefully be able to take a moment to figure out who should be in control of the body. Especially if you have an alter that has the role of gatekeeper/protector and deciding who is out. It would be pretty scary if that was happening when you're in a dangerous situation (e.g. trying to cross the street or worse), or when you need to focus on something that could be dangerous if you spaced out (e.g. driving a car).
Communication has definitely decreased the amount of blending we experience but it still happens from time to time. Mostly during periods of high stress or if we try and suppress switching. Even with our gatekeeper, accidental blending occurs. -Wyn
Very instresting :-) yet confusing for u guys :-)
Hello, I found out that I had some form of OSDD or DID(working to get the full diagnosis very soon) quite recently. And I saw this video a few days ago but up until now, I've only had one time where I couldn't control who fronted. My alters(There's 3 of us including me) didn't mean to front in this story and I'm not 100% sure if all my terminology is correct as I'm new to this but I sent this to my friend today explaining what happened. I really hope someone finds this and either learns from it or is able to prepare for such situations if they only found out recently but here it is.
Squirell - 6 years old, a female squirrel, Currently my systems coping mechanism for when I go downhill.
Harold- 19, english man, Currently the caretaker of squirell and trauma holder as well
My mom gave me $30 to do something for her next week. So I went to the vape store but the entire way there I was dissociating and I now realize it's cause Squirell and Harold were both fronting along with me. So on my way back, Squirell was jerking my head to look at the sights while Harold was trying to drive with me but jerking the wheel sometimes(He has never driven before). So when I was almost to my house, they decided they wanted chips with the rest of the money so I ended up going past my house and heading to the store but I took over and did a u turn on the way there. I went home but when I got home, they wouldn't stop bugging me for chips and zaxbys and maybe a beanie for Harold. So I delt with it for a minute before giving in and heading to the store again for chips. They didn't have the fucking chips they wanted. So I went to my car to ask wtf they wanted and I decided I'll buy cigarettes again to please almost everyone. But when I went in, I think Harold decided to help and kinda grounded me and I became a lot more calm and spoke clearly and went home and I was calm while driving too.
If anyone has experienced this or something similar, I promise you're not alone. It's my first time having all of us front at the same time, let alone without anyone actually meaning to front. I now realize exactly how scary and dangerous this disorder can be but please stay calm, you can get through this.
Notification Squad!
SO much to relate to! Haha!
When you were talking, I imagined it like wading through water. Secondly, a question: Would blending be like integration (in those moments, but not lasting)?
do you ever have situations when multiple alters are co conscious and have similar/the same intentions and feelings and therefore get confused as to who is fronting? For example the body is hungry and two of you really close to the front both think the same thing sounds good? Does that make things confusing?
It can be really scary when that does happen
For real -Wyn