My biggest pet peeve as an INFP is when people underestimate me. And for some reason, they still do it all the time. I've proved perfectly competent and have been working and living on my own since I was 18. Yet my parents will still act surprised when I can handle things as an adult, people around me constantly question me. It irritates me to no end.
Yep I have been underestimated my whole life especially family, work colleagues. Same time though I play up to it to my advantage - like Claudius in I Caligula. Then when you win at something that you put your heart and soul into the victory is even sweeter.
My parents/others didn't give me chance to handle things or do things. When someone else gives me that opportunity & I do well . They act surprised 😑 The most annoying thing is that don't give me chance
To me criticism becomes insulting when the person claims to understand me, and what is wrong with me, when they actually don't. If they actually understand and are not looking down on me, then I love receiving constructive criticism.
Caleb Crawford I totally agree. Constructive and criticism done “in a loving matter” makes it soooo much easier to handle and doesn’t cause me to react defensively or in a negative way
It’s because we are so good at taking criticism (we’re perfectionists, why wouldn’t we want criticism?) that we can see through it, see if it’s intended as a sincere criticism or as a put down
Insert Bird man rubbing his hands together meme. I love when people underestimate me. Only because I know I will have the satisfaction of proving them wrong
One of the most motivating things for me is when someone says I am unable to do something. I feel awesome when I have accomplished it even if they never see me....lol
When someone says we cant do something... oh man does that fuel us. My friends/family don't want to support me in this? Good.They don't think I have what it takes? Good.They openly say I'll never make it? Good. They feed the motivation of a sleeping giant.
When someone makes me feel uncomfortable, my reaction to them is razor sharp. So sharp, I often retreat and rethink what I've said, then I eventually feel sorry for them.
You know what sucks? When you need a passion to follow to be able to function properly, but you can't find that passion. You can't make your beliefs strong enough. I think in that situation, people need to let the searching person search for their passion.
Yes!!! I am trying to decide on a career path, but I don’t have a strong interest in much of anything which is so frustrating! I just would like to work a high paying job, save money, invest and retire early so that’s what I’m going back to community college for even after getting my bachelor’s. The key is making a decision and finding a motivation, following through and knocking out those goals! 🙏🏾🤎
That's the thing heard at (tbh can respect it) they wanted in a previous job of mine when they said they wanted security yeah best of luck with that in the current job market, you're going to find a safe job thats secure in this world outside of public funding ones rather (in the private sector). But yeah I like the things you work for and really get going by yourself it's yeah amazing, like want to work for myself it's the yeah fact that I created that, or whatever it is haha, like someones sites flourishing and bringing them an income and I helped them least start that off or their online presence haha in the more technical sense that is, then the things I can possibly do with that that's going to be the fun part it's not just for me it's for others that's what makes me want to do those kinds of things!
Micromanagement is one of my biggest pet peeves. A coworker sat next to me at my desk while I was trying to solve a problem in data analysis. And I got extremely frustrated because I don't like someone breathing down my neck even though she just wanted to learn something new. I just like to be left alone to solve problems. And once I have a solution, I will share it with other people
Hely I agree! Especially when someone has past experience of others pointing out their mistakes when they’re just trying out new strategies. I love to work alone because of people’s tendencies to point out mistakes like that
Yes, looks like when someone it's watching me, I got nervous and make more mistakes than the normal. Then, the person assume that I suck and start to give me advices that I already know (but of course I pretend that everything is fine and listen to the person to avoid conflicts).
As an INFP I would add 6) Don't get pissed off if we don't want to see you or talk to you as often as you think is appropriate, especially if you're extroverts. We probably love you and appreciate you, we just need a lot of silence and personal space to concentrate and get on with life 7) Don't take advantage of our empathy. When we know you've taken advantage of our empathy, we'll just probably disappear from your life, forever 8) Don't rely on us to turn up on time and meet deadlines unless it's for something we really really believe in
This is all spot on. The number 7 especially. I’m not going to argue or call you out because I understand that there might be a deeper reason as to why you would take advantage of another person especially in this dog eat dog word but if it happens time and time again then you’ve just exhausted all the chances I’ve given. And Im usually really patient and will observe the heck out of a person. Once I know a person is being manipulative, I observe, confirm their behavior a few times, feel disgust if they keep taking advantage, and finally gradually start avoiding. Because there is just something morally reprehensible in a person taking advantage of someone’s kindness.
Number six bothered a friend of mine and I'm sure other people like my extroverted cousin. 🙃 I feel somewhat bad now in my 30s. But at least now it's easier because everyone is busy with their life.
@@eval4495 I'm not sure if this will be true for you as it is for me as you get older, but my friends, colleagues, and long-term acquaintances accept this part of me. When I bow out of invitations to socialize by saying, "No thank you. I won't make it." They accept it (and one person says she envies my ability to say "no thank you" without excuses). I'm in my 50s, and it took me a long time to get to this point. Side note: I mentioned to a friend that I like being invited to social events (makes me feeling included). And, when it comes up, I tell people I don't overfill my schedule: one event in a day max (if possible). I don't take pride in being busy. LOL
When i feel misunderstand i make music and poetry....crazy thing is that i feel like half the time people dont understand my art...infp are so unique an i hope you can use your character to help people see that. Be blessed
I think my daughter is an infp. When she was 5 she told me "I'm an artist " then I never thought much of it. I have never done anything to encourage her drawing and characters. I'm going to support her now. She is 11 but her creations seem to be very important to her.
Im an INFP, and im a teen, one more thing that triggers me is that my friends think that Im really naive and cant take care of myself most likely because I usually keep on a light and happy (some may call it childish XD) facade at school. They would set out these examples of like “When you go to college, I can’t imagine how you will be without me, you’ll get bullied and how am i going to save you!” Like gurl, i can take care of myself, just because i dont bring out the fire when im with my friends doesnt mean i cant defend myself when i really need to! 😂 please excuse my rant
I’m also an INFP teen, and the best thing to do (in my opinion) is come out so that you might find other INFP’s. It’s gonna get really frustrating later when they keep on doing that. Don’t be afraid to show anger when you feel it.
Can confirm: probably the #1 way to make an INFP feel loved/happy is to somehow get them to overhear people say positive, validating things about them behind their back. (excluding obligatory praise from grandparents X'D)
I love that you aren't begging for likes and subscriptions at the end of the video. Classic INFP. So glad to meet people who share the same personality as I do. Fun fact: As an INFP, I can't grasp the idea behind people liking their own comments or posts, especially on Facebook. Lol
I feel that those type of people are most likely desperate to make themselves feel better about themselves by doing those types of things. I understand how low self-esteem can really affect how a person acts, but I definitely agree that if you truly respect yourself, you will not take such a dishonest course of action just because you want to feel better about yourself.
I like my own posts because I don't care lol so many people would never like their own posts because of how it looks if someone sees it- like yeah only six people liked it and I was three of them from my other accounts- I don't care- I like the picture
The way I found (thanks to this channel) to encourage my INFP partner to be her best - since I don't wanna make her feel pressured and manipulated in any way ever - is just doing things enthusiastically in a way that she wants to do it with me. For example, she used to love drawing and had stopped for quite a while - I started drawing and showing her my crude sketches, she suddenly picked up drawing again and hasn't stopped since.
I think this is a perfect response. Nothing will delight an INFP more than watching someone else unabashedly and genuinely get excited about something, and then have the opportunity to participate in that with them. I think when it comes down to it that’s all we want from anyone, including ourselves.
Couldn't agree more...except that last piece of advise. INFPs can sense when someone patronizes them in regards to their passion/purpose. It's fake and and one of my biggest pet peeves. Either wholeheartedly support me or get lost...don't play games!
I find people can really brush off INFP's, but that can be said for any personality like ours. There's something truly annoying about people who have to tell you how amazing they are, be aggressive and try to dominate. Those people are usually the same people who brush us off, think we're simple and act as if we aren't important. It's kinda funny at this stage in my life. Those people feel the need to make you know what they are, what they are capable of and be the leader are so annoying. Their personality type really has to spread themselves onto others. INFP's however couldn't be farther from these people and if there's any personalities I can't stand most, it's these types. At the same time, we are great at reading people and really getting into their head. So while they're trying to be the big man, we are sitting quietly and observing them. INFP's are highly skilled people with an innate ability to understand people. We really could spin a web around these people and let them know, hey, I'm just as strong as you, dominate and skilled as you. I just don't feel the need to display it all the time. Mess with an INFP though and you will see just how strong we can come at you. We have plenty of reserved energy, ready to pounce on anyone messing with our friends, morals and beliefs.
I grew up the oldest in an abusive household. My parents never realized how fine a line they were walking. The only reason I stayed was to protect my siblings. Unfortunately, I could take no more, and escaped when I was 19. I don't think people realize just how much of our competency we hide just to try and fit in.
I dunno when exactly on our life we have developed this personality or is this innate at born or what? But reading at your comments somewhat makes me conclude that we became INFPs because of our family settings. I'm also like passive as what they describe me tho i know myself that I'm not. But whenever I get too much insult or underestimation or i feel I've been trespassed, I can really feel that I have this ability to bring the hell out of this Earth and rip the flesh of whoever the person.
You are so right about everything. With the way things are with no privacy I find myself physically ill as an INFP. INFP' s really need there alone time and there privacy. People just don't understand us and were written off as weird and mysterious. I have really struggled as an INFP for years. My advice to young INFP' s is to find out who you really are and to stay away from alcohol. Be true to yourself and embrace being an INFP which is only 4% of the population.
It’s interesting you say stay away from alcohol that has been my go to and I feel like it’s because I’m misunderstood and feel so much and not one person gets it or tries to
@@bri7625 Yeah, i'm having some trouble with alcohol right now. Interestingly, if I drink heavily during the evening, the day afterwards, i'm filled with confidence and have an optimistic outlook, as well as I can more simply stop myself from being trapped in my own head/thoughts. It's annoying, but it really has helped me a lot. I do have a problem with alcohol though, i'm trying to quit :/
What frustrates me the most is my Mother is so outgoing and she tells her friends all my problems when I’m a very private person. I guess to a degree it’s okay but she tells people when I’m off work. People are like “but she’s fine” no I’m not. This world is so bass. I don’t belong here. Another thing about INFPs they show so much emotion through their face. You will know if they don’t agree with someone. I am also going to university for three years. I need space . I need space before this. Just want to reinforce that
Just a gentle word of warning ⚠️ steer clear of your mother if you ask her politely to stop talking about you and she keeps opening her mouth. Believe me that if she ignores your request you will regret letting her in your life in your future.
Oof I can relate, sometimes an aunt or something I don’t even talk to would bring up a really personal problem of mine randomly to ask me about it and it’s so off putting
What do you think happens to an INFP when they've lost their fire? Looking back at all the unfinished tasks and naysayers that I have collected from the past creates a big monster within yourself. I remember the fire when I was a kid, then a teenager and finally young adult. I never knew where or why it was there. I used to think it was God inside me trying to come out. Maybe it was. After all the things that never came to be and all the things big or small that I couldn't make happen I feel as though I've lost the spark. Now i'm trying to revive it with exploring new places and people. It's like I'm a rock and my reality is the other rock and i'm hitting myself against it trying to bring the flames back. Trying my hardest to keep hope. Why am I posting this here...no idea. Chase your fire people; it's vital to your survival.
True. I felt broken through my upbringing because my principles weren't heard, and I was forced to conform to external values that I had no say in. I got really bad depression for years because I wasn't myself, and I had trouble finding people who understood the complexity I'd inadvertently created within myself. My journey has been long but one significant step back to empowerment was following advice from a healer who told me to listen to my intuition every day when it popped up and drew me towards something. No matter how small it was eg. If I suddenly felt like cutting my toast into triangles, to put aside the naysaying mind voice, and just do it. She said that if I followed it through I would feel a burst of excitement inside - and it was true. My trust in my intuition is now really strong - it always directs me the right way even if it might not make logical sense, and it helps me be in touch with myself. I've also had to look at a lot of layers of hurt and coping mechanisms, and through this I've learned so much about the path away from and back towards the self. I don't know if any of this helps to hear; losing yourself is not an easy path to walk back from - but there are loads of hidden gifts along the way x.
I know this is hard to hear, but take steps, small ones, one at a time. I relate to this so much and feel your pain. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. There is still time to fulfill dreams. I have to tell myself these things all the time and have loved ones help me choose hope when I’m in that dark place of longing and regret and self-loathing. God loves each one of us exactly how we are, right now.
@@lightawake I'm not sure why I'm just seeing this after 2 years! Anyways, I'm glad I saw it. Thank you for your response to my comment. It was a nice reminder to follow the positive and sometimes random inclinations. What kind of healer did you speak with?
Thank you Annie, that is where I am right now. I’m so broken. I have 2 children with deep needs and I pour into them and have nothing left to give. I. Hurt. Trying to heal while celebrating my children but give them all of myself. I almost have nothing left. I do have Jesus and ask him to get me through each day. I guess I’m sowing right now. Sowing with tears.
This video is intimidatingly spot on... from being publicly called out, to finding out that people i've known for years believed I was somehow naive or unintelligent. It frustrates me especially the fact that the people ive known the longest even fail to understand me, but this video is very reassuring that I am not the only INFP out there that is misread time and time again. Thank you for making this
Cesar M people always think quiet people are dumber I don’t know why even as an INFP I completely used to underestimated this friend I also found out was also INFP! For some reasons our society wires us to think chatty people are more automatically intelligent or something? it’s stupid ._. I feel bad now and it made me realise to be careful of first impressions.
5:28 Yes I hate when ppl sugarcoat! Or when they're superficially nice. I CAN SEE STRAIGHT TROUGH YOU! and it just makes it worse. Just be real it's much better.
For me I would dream of doing so many things yet I would have no idea how to reach them... So I've learned I have to take small steps or I will go no where... Especially since I tend to procrastinate 😅 tho I feel a bit stuck sometimes still because I'm impatient and fear failure.
I am an INFP & I relate to what u are saying so so much.......when I get that 'deer in the headlights' look, they think nothing is going on inside of me, (that's when they think I might be a little slow, & if I walk away or they walk away, having not said anything, they begin to treat me as if I'm a child or something, & then, I don't even want to talk to them again; I will avoid them)but they don't realize that so much information is racing thru my head, as I try to zero in on, & find what the truth of the situation really is....hahaha......
I couldn’t agree more. People around me think I’m just always in deep thought because I do respond slower than most people. It’s because im absorbing feelings and not words. When most people talk to me, I feel them first and hear them second.
Man, I would show this to my mom so fast if she were the kind of person open to correction. This is literally everything she has done to me my entire life. INFPs are probably some of the most open people to criticism. We can pick up on others feelings easily, but we don't always guess their thoughts with accuracy. If we aren't told directly what the problem is (and it's not obvious), we don't know how to help solve it. We will just feel awkward tension and be at a loss as to where it's coming from. We just want to get rid of the tension, and if that means we fix ourselves, we are more than happy to do so! I also think under the umbrella of "we're not stupid" is that people typically don't take us seriously. They may not know much about us, but the moment they discover one thing that seems slightly unexpected because we're not afraid to show it, we get written off. It becomes more difficult to get to know us because it's assumed we are [insert stereotype here] and that's all we are interested in, when actually we turn out to be very well-rounded individuals. We can easily connect with all sorts of people as long as they allow themselves to connect with us. Since we are introverted, we have no desire to force any walls down. If they don't open up when we politely knock, we close the investigation. When someone politely knocks on us though, we likely invite them into one of our many guest rooms prepared with 5-star perks.
Extremely well said. Unfortunately some jerks tend to use their preconceptions, prejudices, and biases when dealing with us and start slapping labels on us (most likely not just on us, but on others as well) and also attempt to shame us for what we are.
As an INFP, I can say I relate on a whole another level to when you said people think we are stupid. I’ve lost the count of how many times people thought I wasn’t capable of doing simple tasks and executing a project because I was “too slow”. It has happened so many times that I ended up building this wall to show that I’m capable and I’m not stupid at all. I think it has to do with the child-like aspect of my personality but as you said, it’s not that we are slow, we are just processing things. I’m actually analyzing the task first, that’s how my brain works. My dad even though I had ADHD because he told me I was too slow and didn’t really pay attention. My whole life I’ve been misunderstood and I feel so relieved knowing I am not the only one who goes through this.
As an INFP the only person that understood me and I felt safe with was my father. My mother would put me down and call me stupid, my husband I found out was like my mother. I felt lonely my whole life, now that I know about these different functions I can be kinder to myself.
Great relatable video! One thing I've had trouble with as an INFP that might go along with #3 is that people sometimes assume I'm immature and naive because I come off agreeable, unassertive, spacey, and silly at times even though I honestly just want to keep things low drama and don't enjoy assuming authority over others. I'm a 6w7 which can make things a bit different though.
Oh my gosh.... thanks to this I just realised why my dad and I had so much friction growing up. He used to be quite micro-managey when teaching me to do simple tasks and always wanted me to do them exactly the way he did them and he'd get frustrated if I did it differently which made me sulky and frustrated towards him lol
I know the feeling plus I had problems with writing when I was little and my mom just kept forcing do things she wanted it to be and sometimes get angry because she thought that I was doing it on purpose
Wow. Around 7 minutes in, I really relate. I am friends with a young woman who is 20 years younger than me and for everything I say when relating my experiences on just about anything, she always has to say something contrary or is trying to impart some great wisdom or advice (implying as to how I can change.) You helped me realize that she is just in a very different place in life and is more social and doens't understand me and my acquired discernment. I decided to cut my time with her because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to change her either,, so I'd rather not try and make that friendship fit for either of us. I am learning that if I start feeling uncomfortable or drained by people, that I need to move on, limit time with them, or have boundaries around what I will share or how and where I will interact with them. As an INFP, my circle of trust gets smaller with age.
I just realized that...every single close person to me has many many times expressed they dont believe I can do xyz... Im turning into an angry fiery dragon just thinking about it
Being a infp whom also has adhd… I completely understand how people act like they don’t believe in your abilities… I’m sorry you are suffering from this.. and just know you are amazing.
#3 Heaven forbid someone tries to project their own agenda and value system on an INFP instead of respecting their best interest and core values and and allowing them to live their lives accordingly. That's a good way to get shut out for good.
The problem is, as an ENTP I can read your world view and value system like a book. Often times your actions and beliefs will contradict your core values. Pointing that out tends to yield the same reaction from the INFP as the situation you described.
@@OnizukaKakashi47 I dont need to understand the depth of your soul to understand that your values are incongruent with your actions. I don't need to know how each piece of a system was produced to be able to tell you that the system isn't working properly.
@@YHLGguitargeek Are you saying that pointing out to an INFP a specific action they did, which contradicts what you personally believe that individual's core values are, results in that INFP forcing their ideals and core values onto you without respecting yours and allowing you to live your life according to your own?
@@OnizukaKakashi47 No, I'm saying that demonstrating to an INFP contradictions within their moral framework leads them to react as though an agenda is pushed on them when it isnt. And of course keep in mind this is a massive generalization and is coming from my personal experience with two specific INFPs.
I didn’t realize I was an INFP until I cut alcohol out of my life. I didn’t have an addiction, but I get hangovers super easily and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. When I drank, I was definitely an extrovert! Happy to be discovering and understanding my true self now at almost 50.
I turn into an extravert when I'm drinking too! It's nice to have a little liquid courage sometimes, but mostly its the best to embrace your true self xx
Same, the first time i got my mbti test result and check some videos about INFP and even read INFP stories and memes on reddit , i felt so touched i literally cried.... I always thought that no one can understand whats going on inside my head, even my own parents... Im so glad i am not alone
Great video. INTJ here... its remarkable just how on point this is to my INFP wife. Over the years I've accidentally stepped on the toe of many of these points but I've learned the lessons. I find the individualistic authenticity and passion of INFPs to be what draws me to them the most.
I'm an INFP and I approve the message. :) Seriously, this all resonates with me on some level. I think it was number 3? Whichever one where you said "Don't assume we are stupid" or whatever..yeah. I totally get that. The school system here in the states, in my opinion, utterly failed me. By the time I was in 5th grade I had gone through 4 schools. I was bored. I was always looking out the window or being a class clown. I doubted the truth of what I was reading. For example, I recall wondering "Who wrote this book? How can I trust that this info is right?" when I was a kid. What kid thinks that shit? My whole life I have felt out of step with the mainstream and felt "stupid" because that's how I was treated more or less. I just felt everything around me and could not focus when I had emotional things going on inside me, which was pretty much daily. In school I was often put in the slower classes or had tutors. But then I'd score so high on an IQ test that my teachers were baffled. I was never driven by competition or some of the shallow "school" rewards of being the teachers pet, having straight A's or whatever. I never saw those things as have merit. I always saw those things like a game of sorts. I just did not want to play the game. I always questioned things. I still do. I no longer think of myself as stupid because I understand myself better now and how I process things. I still struggle to focus on reading and watching movies because my mind is often wandering. Yet I write songs and can evidently express myself in such a way that people are marveled by it. And I don't know how this stuff happens. It's like I just get inspired and get clarity one day and out pops a few tunes. Thanks for you channel. You're super hot by the way. Especially the kiwi accent. Keep on putting this stuff out there. We appreciate you. :)
Well when I was around ten years I would loathe and hate educational system I mean I have to wait for 20 years of education to do a job ??? I mean what skills do I have???One thing more we infps have another ability which far surpasses any other and that is seeing multiple solutions to one problem
Sean Showalter is infps are the creative type and never feel fulfilled in life unless we are creating something in the performing arts, visual arts, architecture, sciences, literature etc
@@Dancestar1981 good for you but for me it has been one hell of a ride I am surrounded by istjs and estjs,isfj and esfjs in my family and at my workplace I have yet to see another INFP the closest is isfp and man he is much better than any boss I have ever known.
It's funny and might be presumptuous, but you remind me so much of myself. I guess because we are both infps. I see that same intense, dreamy, gaze. The feeling of almost motivating yourself by teaching others.
I'm INFP. This video is one of the most accurate and intelligent insights to the type. I really appreciate your insights as they help me to understand myself better. We're one type who needs a support group because most of the other types misinterpret what is really going on with us and we're often left out of consideration, even despised by the majority and invalidated when in fact we're making very important contributions to the effort at the time. We're busy, okay?
I love meeting other INFP people. We tend to be very genuine, caring, intense and somewhat socially anxious. When around other INFP it feels safe to be awkward and passionate and I get to learn so much about new things. :)
My mom is an INFP while I am an INFJ, we will got along amazingly on some thing but on others we won’t. The main thing is how we act when we are angry or upset. My mom wants to prove that she is right, she doesn’t want anyone questioning her or her actions. She wants to be left alone to think about her situation and act accordingly (while she is fixing the problem she isn’t in a good mood.) For me I also like to be alone in these situations, but the reason I want to be alone is because I can’t take feeling things for everyone. I don’t care if people think I’m wrong because my mind is set on my goal and not anyone else around it, but if they start bad mouthing my cause that’s when I get angry. So we both collide in this situation. As soon as she walks in the room I can tell she is upset/mad, and apparently I stare at her. That makes her even more mad because she doesn’t want any sympathy for she mistakes that as an insult/me mocking her. When she gets mad at me it deeply offends me, since I take the opinions of my loved ones seriously. So we get in a huge argument and leave each other to get alone time. So the best thing to do for them when they are mad is to stay out of their way, they will act according to their plan and apologize afterwards.
Build in secret, what people don't know, they can't destroy at seed level. Leave the room and their lives forever if they treat you with contempt. Zero tolerance alongside zero reaction to people's vile utterances works for me. Very few have lasted the distance in my life and good riddance to them all. I'm healing and now at peace with myself and God. I rely now on nothing else. Its all an illusion. Great video, beautiful person, thank you for lighting the way. Best of luck fellow INFPs x
Everything that was said in the video was very true, especially for me.. Not too long ago, I had an incident with a few friends where I was caught unprepared for a scenario/situation that she told me to respond to. I understand that she wanted me to practice my social skills by posing as if she were an interrogator who was questioning me, but she made me feel on edge because I wasn't expecting it. I tried to answer as best that I could, but I was left feeling terrible about myself. The thing with INFPs that most people tend to overlook is that we often overthink things we feel that we didn't do right in the past over and over again to the point that we obsess and stress out over our mistakes. It only took me 10 minutes of overthinking until I couldn't handle it any longer and I broke down crying. Sometimes, it's very difficult for others to understand why we are so sensitive to such small things, and that's exactly what happened in my case. To make matters worse, my friends expected me to get over the matter in no time, which put even more pressure on me because they tried to force me out of the car and into a public place when I was still crying. At this point, I admit that I did act like a baby during this situation, but unfortunately, there are most likely INFPs who act in a similar way. This is mainly because people don't understand that when an INFP breaks down, they need a lot of time and a lot of space in order to sort out their feelings themselves and cool down. The friends of INFPs need to develop more patience than friends of most other types when it comes to matters such as these. This doesn't mean that my friends are bad friends, they simply didn't understand or know how to properly deal with this situation (I've never broken down in front of them). INFPs could be very good natured people, but they are often misunderstood because almost everyone else doesn't understand how to "handle" us properly.
This. If I break down, run for the hills, don't look back, and leave me alone. The only person I allow to see me like that is my husband, and even then I just want him to hold me and not say a word. XD
This situation is very relatable. I find it frustrating when people throw me into situations and expect me to succeed/learn. It’s like throwing me under the bus, especially if they’ve been teaching me a certain way from the beginning and I’ve already shown that I am more than capable of learning/processing on my own. Don’t rush me and don’t underestimate me. I’d rather be talked to than forced into a situation😐 do what you need to and once I’m ready, I will certainly step up. Trust.
You sound so determined, which is so different from me (INFP) who is more soft spoken. I hope to develop that side of me too. And, I saw a princess inside you :)
Watching this video and scrolling down through the comments has been so encouraging. I'm an INFP, and it's really nice to see such a good description of it, as well as everyone connecting over it since it's so hard to find people of this type.
Only recently found out I was an INFP and for sooooo long I question if I was okay mentally, being so overly emotional about things whether it involve me or not. Being insanely passionate about morals and feelings and individuality. I thought I was the square puzzle piece trying to be forced into a round hole. Since finding out that their are people around the world exactly the same I have felt this immense feeling of community and understanding. That feeling you feel when someone truly understands how you feel cause they feel the same. That shit is awesome, I know now that my emotions and morals are my strengths. They are the gift given to me to enhance the world in someway. In such an extroverted and cookie cutter world our individuality is going to be the key to our success
Is it a common thing for INFPs to not just give out compliments easily? Not in a sense that we look down on people, but that if we don't genuinely feel it we won't go around praising people because it's just....cringe? (Compliments like "oh I like your shoes" "omg that is so cool!")
Omg, the Change + stupid + Dreams parts.. 😧😧😧 Yes !!! Totally !!!! Thank you !!! They ALWAYS made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Saying all those things out loud & expecting me not to be ( deeply ) hurt by it.. 😭 They all thought they already knew me, when I didn't even know me 😒😡😡😡. Most of the times I never even knew what to say back.. 😓
Omgosh yes! I just left a job where my lead coworker was an ESTJ and she continually micromanage me. It was awful! She also talked over me which is similar to the calling out because it felt so disrespectful. I couldn't be my authentic self and that very important to me. It takes me some time to sort out what I'm trying to say and often it felt like she assumed I was stupid too. Checking off all the things here.
As an INFP male, I actually like criticism. If there's something I can do differently to produce a more ideal product, I'm all for it. I know I don't have all the answers, and neither does anyone, so a deep, heartfelt and mindful CONVERSATION is something I absolutely LOVE. Now, that is not to say I like feeling like my character is compromised, or made to feel incapable or doubted. I hate being doubted so much. Also, on being called out in public, I don't need to be gently told things. That being said, it's all about respect. Attack me or my loved ones personally, expect a punch to the face and make best friends with the ground. I'm a bit more direct. Passive has it's uses, but to me (I guess it's because I'm a male who adheres to certain male 'norms' like being tough, not taking sh*t from people and standing up for myself and my loved ones) be direct, but be respectful. Respect me, I respect you, plain and simple. As always, Lex, great video :) I love your education about us to outsiders. We can be quite tough to figure out, so this is very productive, insightful and educational. Will show this to my girlfriend xD Thanks!
Hi :) yes, agreed 100%, criticism comes in different shades, which, in turn, can be perceived differently from individual to individual, from day to day. Some days, I can be the happiest, most "half-full" person around; other days - DON'T talk to me. LOL. Definitely a product of 'F'. Fully agree on criticism possibly being destructive, to me, doubt is the biggest destructor of my confidence. To some, doubt can be a major driving force (a trait that I envy) for that person to accomplish their goals. Me, I tend to respond better to positive feedback, motivation and constructive criticism. Currently trying to learn how to convert doubt/negativity to motivation. I mean, sometimes doubt can push me, sometimes it brings me down, so I'm trying to learn how to make more use of my 'F' and drive that towards desirable outcomes, depending on the scenario, involving self-doubt and doubt from others. To be frank, I watched this video and commented in spite of being in a slump - pretty pissed off even LOL. Reading my comment again and it sounds full of douchebaggotry -___- sorry about that. Anyway, I might not have been clear. Thanks for clearing up the muddy waters for me
I usually like constructive criticism too but I do find that if worded carelessly I do get a bit defensive. I have to keep reminding myself that a lack of vocabulary doesn't mean they are trying to be mean or hurtful. They are just having difficulties explaining what they see in their heads and trying as hard as they can with the vocabulary they currently have...it's tough stuff talking to me it seems.
She literally said in the video if the critisism comes private and in a meaningful conversation with encouragement, it is good for INFPs. Micromanaging is different
I am a leo. A 33 life path in numerology and an infp. And ive felt alone my whole life. Betrayed and abused by everyone. No human family. But darling i have to salute u and thanku for living. I have hope because u spoke. Thankyou....you beautiful soul.
As an INFP myself, I am very encouraged by your videos. Your videos make me feel like I have a chance of succeeding in this world. Your channel is my first pick if I need INFP advice. Thank you so much for making these videos, and I will continue to keep watching them for years to come!
This video is SO comforting as a fellow INFP, thank you so much. One thing I've struggled with lately is my more open friends criticising or picking out things to 'help' me but I just crumble when they do. I only ask for opinions on things if I need it, especially for work, but if someone has some 'honest' opinion they want to say that doesn't matter, I'd rather not know?! I would never think to do this for someone else! Am i alone?! xoxo
Your videos have helped me understand my INFP son. I so appreciate your down to earth and candid approach to this. You generalize just enough, but your own, personal examples illustrate living as an INFP so eloquently.
I am an INTP, I have 4 children, from oldest to youngest they are INFP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ. Of all my children my INFP has been, by far, the hardest for me to connect with. We can have some very deep convos but I always feel like I’m missing the forest full of trees with him. It kills me to watch this video and know that I have done every one of those things to him. I read all your comments and see how these things have so negatively affected you all. As a parent I would like to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we don’t understand, that we underestimate and micro manage. I’m sorry that we crush your dreams and put you down. I truly am. But I can guarantee it isn’t for lack of trying to understand. We truly only want good things for you. I can’t speak for all parents but I can say that most of us really are trying. When we do these things all we are trying to do is communicate with you. We are trying to understand something that is foreign to us and sadly when we can’t then we try to make you fit. Thank you for posting this video and showing us outsiders a glimpse into your passionate and colorful worlds. Your advice is golden. I, in turn, would like to leave some advice for any INFP who struggles with all these things...communicate. As an INTP my whole life has been one giant bunched up knot of no communication or miscommunication and if I can learn to communicate better ANYONE can. Always strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Thank you for posting.
Your videos mean so much to me and other infp's, thank you for making them. They're one of the few things in life that help people like us feel understood and accepted.
I am so overwhelmed at all of the information I am receiving..Watching ur videos and reading these comments can I say THANK GOD.. This new information has put me in a state of creation and newness. I'm so happy to know all of u are out there and it's so amazing to have that sharp lonely feeling taken from me.
I am an INFP forced to be an extrovert. "The world doesn't need weird shy people" My mum taught me that and I took it seriously. Soon I found myself chained behind a wall of other people's criticism and ideas.
Lex, I love your considered thoughts on how our personality type ticks. I'm sure you fully understand what I mean when I say that I just listen to you talk and fall in and out of introspection as I hear your words. Entire spans of time are spent thinking about my current thoughts, my past thoughts/actions, and how those may be misinterpreted or well interpreted by the people around me instead of what you're actually saying. You're amazing at throwing my mind into a tangent. This really is a compliment from me as it lets me watch your rants more than once because there legitimately is novel ideas on even the third viewing of your content. Time spent lost in my conscious mind is time well spent and you are one of the best people at stimulating that process. I'm almost always left with a smile after getting to think to myself quietly at your musings. I'm certain that what you do has an overall benefit to everybody that comes into contact with it so don't lose sight of your ideas and keep at it. Much appreciated.
All those are so true.. My mother has bad tempered. I really cannot take it when my mother shouts and the neighborhood knows the issue. Bang the gates and everything. I hope my mother knows that I just love to be alone where no one keeps eyeing, giving instructions and where no one is there to change me.
As an INFPI like constructive criticism if it’s coming from someone who has my best interest at heart. I get hurt at first but I internalise it and 9/10 try to improve myself.
Good advice from an ACTUAL INFP, not a mistyped ESFJ, ENFP or INFJ. Real INFP's are somewhat less common than is commonly thought, you'll know one when you meet one, and we are always socially traumatized and anxious.
I am surrounded by people who don’t have a single clue about different personalities and just view being quiet is not an ideal type of person, that’s why I feel depressed most of the time.
Very well said!!! I relate to all 5 but numbers 1 and 3 are absolutely spot on for me. When people micromanage me and/or ask me to change, it seriously almost feels like the death of me. I'm not being overdramatic either. I seriously feel like a shell of myself when those things happen and I either shrivel up and become useless or I go to the other extreme and become enraged and rebel. Needless to say, I'm working on how to find a better way to respond in these situations.
Great video on INFPs and being myself an INFP, I tend to have low self-esteem because of constant discouragements and criticism. Does having low self-esteem is a normal thing for INFP people or it is not? I'm confused. Help please.
Sabari ram develop your self awareness, and believe in your infp superpowers. And watch GaryVee if you have to and become silently unstoppable. Prove yourself and the others around you wrong
I'm an INFP male and it has always been very hard for me to really explain what I'm thinking. And as live in Franve and my english isn't perfect, it makes it even harder for me right now. But OMG i'm so glad for having passed the mbti test, found out i'm and infp, checked some infp memes and most of all, found your videos (and also their comment sections). I found every single things I saw here soo true. It's also very weird that people that never saw me and don't even know I exist, can understand what I think or how I think better than my closest friends or even my parents (my mum make these 5 mistakes all day everyday by the way, my dad too but I literally ran away from him since a bit more than 2 yers, but that's an other problem). Thanks for making these videos, you can't imagine how much it helped me and made me understand some things. (EDIT: I was wrong, in fact you're surely the one who has the bigget chances to understand it).
Great video. I can relate to everything you said. I haven't found my purpose yet and I've so many interests, but when I found my ook purpose in life I'll fight for it.
Jolanda de Jong I’m turning 50 this year and still seeking my purpose. Professionally, I’m finally in a position to focus on how I feel rather than the amount of my paycheck, and I’m so thankful.
I'm an ISFP guy and I have an INFP twin sister, so videos like these are really interesting! I do get her "slow" thinking process as I'm similar. We both take a while to consider a response and won't come back right away with something, but that doesn't mean we're slow or less intelligent. I appreciate how she can be really passionate and dedicated about certain things, because that's something I've always struggled with. She also enjoys academics and discussing her views on things, whereas I can start to tune out and get disinterested after a certain point. I do think she sometimes is very sensitive and once she sees things a certain way, it's very hard to bring her to reality. She is well-intentioned and tries to do the right thing, but sometimes she thinks some wild things that are just not close to right and isn't self-aware enough to know how that is coming across to others. I think ISFP's are very aware and can sense what others are feeling and thinking, whereas sometimes INFP's are a little too caught up in their own feelings and misinterpret other people.
Micromanagement for sure is annoying I hated when a co-worker told how to cut pizza properly in their mind. I felt embrasseed as I was in front of another co-worker, I asked them if I could do it on my own, I surprised myself when I said “you want to cut it you’re way then you cut it.”
omg yeah honestly sometimes I suprise myself cause there are times where I become a bit badass and then my friends will be like "oh shit 👀 pop off" and hyping up lol anyways I just wanted to say I relate :D
Loved this video! It's so soothing to know that so many fellow INFPs are together in the struggle of being misunderstood most of the time by the rest. Also, you are soooo beautiful. Thanks again for this video ☺
I am so glad I found this channel, I’m with you on all of these points. You’re excellent at explaining yourself and the processes you go through. Fairy land is a particularly relatable one 😂
Really relate to this. I have tested as both infp and infj - never anything other than those - but this description is convincing me I'm probably infp! Subscribed:)
I just found your channel , and you made my day :) like i never had anyone who understand me but with you and all INFP out there i know i'm not alone by having this personality haha same like you my close friend just telling me to not day dreaming, be realistic and a lot , its just insult me but he is my only close friend , i don't really close with my family because since i kid they always pushed me to do "thing" while i have no choice , and i always cover up and build a protective barrier and day dreaming .. i don't have a lot of friend , and my close friend is an INTP , wich mean he won't get my Introverted Feeling , my F and his T will never get it , and yeah it make me sick when he telling me to change , but then i pushed him to understand me wich in the end he just gone and keep away like other INTP do , and it sickening me , i can't stop feel bad for it and make me overthink everyday (this just happen last week and he still not reapond to me) .. and when i watch your vid its just telling me "Hey you are not alone" or something like that haha , i can get my function back and not really overthink and give him space till he showed up(or never maybe) sorry i just want to tell a story , its just sickening me and i can't hold it, sorry i don't know who or where should i tell my story.. Thank you so much for all of this ! really love how you talk and your accent ! ❤️
Hi! Omg I can't believe it, I'm a kiwi and an infp too! ...and I'm gonna quietly binge watch all of your videos tonight because your words just speak to my souuuuuul :')
Develop your extroverted thinking, especially your logical reasoning skills, and learn about psychology. This will help you be less impulsive, use your feelings in a more rational manner to solidify and ground your values, and see things more clearly. Be sure to challenge peoples assertions and claims and have your mind blown by the fact that most people do and say what they do almost totally unconsciously, without any real logical understanding or reflection, and usually can't explain to you why they do and say the things they do. Peoples thinking and behavior turns out to be insanely shallow and I think this is a place where the INFP can really connect with people or help them understand things more clearly. God knows there's far too much projection and hate in the world today.
I really liked the video. I recently had taken the MBTI test and learned I was an INFP. Been looking up many videos even ones mentioning differences between INFP and INFJ. I fall somewhere between the two but lean more to INFP. I decided to listen to the video for more in site and if possible, more explanation of how to explain things to friends. Something you said also really hit home with me. I have always had dreams of being a writer. Even as a child who wouldn't even read picture books (Even such things as Anime / Comic books) till middle school much less chapter books... I always wanted to write. Even to this day I remember being a kid wanting to write a book about a special yet misunderstood horse. As a teen I was asked by family and other adults what my hopes and dreams for the future was. When I mentioned that I wanted to write.. I was strongly discouraged by them. Many gave the example of J.K. Rowling and her struggles to find a publisher for Harry Potter. Even Stan Lee and his struggle with publishing X-Men. I have always had a massive imagination and quick thinking as well. I've always had a voice inside me and a fire telling me to write. Like it is what I am meant to do. Yet due to doubt and over thinking I end up trying to ignore it. Due to this it puts me in a depressed mood and I emotionally will shut down and block people, even who are close to me. Eventually I block it out enough that I can try moving again in life even if it seems very dull to me. It works, I guess, until I see something and accidentally let my imagination run off again and it comes up with book ideas or possibilities. Suddenly the fire is ignited once again and I may try to write again until someone discourages me. Then it all repeats. I am sorry for writing so much. I usually wouldn't and I don't like rambling, though its so easy... I do want people still reading to understand something. As an adult or child it doesn't matter. Kids, while they might not be old enough to understand or remember, Can sometimes remember more than you realize or would think. Even as a child I held memories of times I had strong emotions. I remembered words I didn't understand and I learned them later, making it so I understood what was said. It was negative feelings I got from others and the emotions I got in return caused the memory to stick. The time I am really happy and living a better life is the time I have the fire inside me. When people believe in me and encourage me. Most of all in the times that I feel self doubt. I am exited and happy to the point of shaking when I am talking about a book I was planning or am working on. Never discourage them because doing that may be like diming the color in a vibrant painting or may make them push you away because they wont accept their colors fading.
im 46 years old now, but in school i was quiet and rebellious. i knew instictively that i didnt fit in with any groups like the jocks or the smart kids, and after awhile didnt even try.i was more of an artist and musician back then. i was awful at public speaking so people didnt get to know me unless they spent some time really talking to me.they would be surprised to learn i was a wise soul that just didn't want to talk about trivial crap all day long.i thrived when i left school,which really surprised people.
It's really refreshing to see how accurate your analysis is because I've only recently learned that I'm an INFP and a lot makes sense now. Grew up with low self esteem thinking no one understood me and feeling a bit like an alien, pretending, to fit in. And even in the workplace recently I've felt extremely attacked when i was told to change the way I am (!) and being micromanaged by a new boss was just my cue to quit my job and pursue an independent carreer. Which is totally INFP.
Very interesting points made, hitting on some characteristics that I didn't know were infp. I am a concert-trained pianist and subjected myself to decades of intense training. Although most people would find that demoralizing, sitting for hours and being critiqued, I wanted it because the tradeoff was worth it. I was focused on the goal, and I trusted my teachers. But criticism without purpose is really hard for me to take, because I perceive it as ego. I'm definitely different, and difficult to understand. I'm not sure why, but 50 years of being an infp has shown me clearly that most people don't get me. I just don't worry about it anymore.
My biggest pet peeve as an INFP is when people underestimate me. And for some reason, they still do it all the time. I've proved perfectly competent and have been working and living on my own since I was 18. Yet my parents will still act surprised when I can handle things as an adult, people around me constantly question me. It irritates me to no end.
Yep I have been underestimated my whole life especially family, work colleagues. Same time though I play up to it to my advantage - like Claudius in I Caligula. Then when you win at something that you put your heart and soul into the victory is even sweeter.
My parents/others didn't give me chance to handle things or do things. When someone else gives me that opportunity & I do well . They act surprised 😑
The most annoying thing is that don't give me chance
I can't tell you how much I relate to this. People always dumb me down
Spot on
Korina same here:(
I feel like as an INFP Im not taken seriously by many people
MHM!!
However, they are surprised why we won't talk to them any more. Just cannot understand why... [/irony]
same, i feel like bc we r more emotional oriented than facts and logic tht we are invalid. sad
Exactly
I feel like that constantly too. I’m trying to believe in myself and disregard other people’s feelings and comments it’s not easy
To me criticism becomes insulting when the person claims to understand me, and what is wrong with me, when they actually don't. If they actually understand and are not looking down on me, then I love receiving constructive criticism.
Caleb Crawford I totally agree. Constructive and criticism done “in a loving matter” makes it soooo much easier to handle and doesn’t cause me to react defensively or in a negative way
It’s because we are so good at taking criticism (we’re perfectionists, why wouldn’t we want criticism?) that we can see through it, see if it’s intended as a sincere criticism or as a put down
Caleb Crawford
My old therapist needs to see this.
ESPECIALLY gas lighting is unacceptable
Yes!!!!!!
I like it when they underestimate me. I let them. I'll encourage it. Let them be surprised by their own lack of good judgement later.
Lmao don’t you love proving people wrong without having to say a word ??
Insert Bird man rubbing his hands together meme. I love when people underestimate me.
Only because I know I will have the satisfaction of proving them wrong
One of the most motivating things for me is when someone says I am unable to do something. I feel awesome when I have accomplished it even if they never see me....lol
Or use these people as step stones if they were really mean to you ;) I do that all the time and hit my successes in their stupid faces
When someone says we cant do something... oh man does that fuel us.
My friends/family don't want to support me in this? Good.They don't think I have what it takes? Good.They openly say I'll never make it? Good.
They feed the motivation of a sleeping giant.
The problem is that only INFPS will watch this, not my parents or my friends :(
You know what ? Just send them this video. You deserve to be understand. I think I will.
I'm an INFJ and love learning about my INFP friends ♥
Since I tested as an INFP I deeply understand what you are saying!
@@bobinnm3786 damn everyone needs someone like u in their life, lucky gal
Just use the language they know. It’ll have to be a direct conversation unless you take the time to set up the environment where you can show this.
When someone makes me feel uncomfortable, my reaction to them is razor sharp. So sharp, I often retreat and rethink what I've said, then I eventually feel sorry for them.
Infps are great at seeing as anyone's truth can be possible. It's easy for us to find the truth in everyone's truth, to an extent.
Because of that, even ppl who hurt us, we could think about why they did, and how we shouldn't be so hard on others because they too have issues.
Yeah same, I can get called 100 different names, and then respond with one measly insult back, and they go mental. Lol people can give but not take.
ApaChe yea why is that? Seems like a major problem for infps
So true
You know what sucks? When you need a passion to follow to be able to function properly, but you can't find that passion. You can't make your beliefs strong enough. I think in that situation, people need to let the searching person search for their passion.
Yes!!! I am trying to decide on a career path, but I don’t have a strong interest in much of anything which is so frustrating! I just would like to work a high paying job, save money, invest and retire early so that’s what I’m going back to community college for even after getting my bachelor’s. The key is making a decision and finding a motivation, following through and knocking out those goals! 🙏🏾🤎
Same
Not all those who wander are lost.
This is so true, I cannot function on a project unless I am passionate about it.
@@SuraDoes I'm stuck in good paying career that is not fulfilling and in fact most days I do not like my job...
As silly as it seems, To be chasing crazy dreams, Is better than a cozy life without them.
The chase itself is the real treasure.
Dinah Nicest absoeffing-lutely
That's the thing heard at (tbh can respect it) they wanted in a previous job of mine when they said they wanted security yeah best of luck with that in the current job market, you're going to find a safe job thats secure in this world outside of public funding ones rather (in the private sector). But yeah I like the things you work for and really get going by yourself it's yeah amazing, like want to work for myself it's the yeah fact that I created that, or whatever it is haha, like someones sites flourishing and bringing them an income and I helped them least start that off or their online presence haha in the more technical sense that is, then the things I can possibly do with that that's going to be the fun part it's not just for me it's for others that's what makes me want to do those kinds of things!
Thank you for saying that means a lot
Yet think of the dreams don’t even know of because we was too busy on another
Christina Bowman how so?
Micromanagement is one of my biggest pet peeves. A coworker sat next to me at my desk while I was trying to solve a problem in data analysis. And I got extremely frustrated because I don't like someone breathing down my neck even though she just wanted to learn something new. I just like to be left alone to solve problems. And once I have a solution, I will share it with other people
Oh the same thing happened to me, they criticised me and kept telling me what to do.. I quit that job
@@fact-u3650 glad you went the hell out of there
Hely I agree! Especially when someone has past experience of others pointing out their mistakes when they’re just trying out new strategies. I love to work alone because of people’s tendencies to point out mistakes like that
P
Yes, looks like when someone it's watching me, I got nervous and make more mistakes than the normal. Then, the person assume that I suck and start to give me advices that I already know (but of course I pretend that everything is fine and listen to the person to avoid conflicts).
As an INFP I would add 6) Don't get pissed off if we don't want to see you or talk to you as often as you think is appropriate, especially if you're extroverts. We probably love you and appreciate you, we just need a lot of silence and personal space to concentrate and get on with life 7) Don't take advantage of our empathy. When we know you've taken advantage of our empathy, we'll just probably disappear from your life, forever 8) Don't rely on us to turn up on time and meet deadlines unless it's for something we really really believe in
Yeeeeeessss!!!!! So true!!!
This is all spot on. The number 7 especially. I’m not going to argue or call you out because I understand that there might be a deeper reason as to why you would take advantage of another person especially in this dog eat dog word but if it happens time and time again then you’ve just exhausted all the chances I’ve given. And Im usually really patient and will observe the heck out of a person. Once I know a person is being manipulative, I observe, confirm their behavior a few times, feel disgust if they keep taking advantage, and finally gradually start avoiding. Because there is just something morally reprehensible in a person taking advantage of someone’s kindness.
Yes!!! All of these and the ones lex mentioned!!!
Number six bothered a friend of mine and I'm sure other people like my extroverted cousin. 🙃 I feel somewhat bad now in my 30s. But at least now it's easier because everyone is busy with their life.
@@eval4495 I'm not sure if this will be true for you as it is for me as you get older, but my friends, colleagues, and long-term acquaintances accept this part of me. When I bow out of invitations to socialize by saying, "No thank you. I won't make it." They accept it (and one person says she envies my ability to say "no thank you" without excuses). I'm in my 50s, and it took me a long time to get to this point.
Side note: I mentioned to a friend that I like being invited to social events (makes me feeling included). And, when it comes up, I tell people I don't overfill my schedule: one event in a day max (if possible). I don't take pride in being busy. LOL
i'm an infp raised by parents who committed all these mistakes, and continue to do so. it's a wonder i'm not dead tbh
That shit hurts 😭
marbletrouble infp strength to push through?
When i feel misunderstand i make music and poetry....crazy thing is that i feel like half the time people dont understand my art...infp are so unique an i hope you can use your character to help people see that. Be blessed
One of the reasons I detached as a child and feel like I raised myself.
marbletrouble I've had so many detailed daydreams about putting my dad in a choke-hold its insane.
I think my daughter is an infp. When she was 5 she told me "I'm an artist " then I never thought much of it. I have never done anything to encourage her drawing and characters. I'm going to support her now. She is 11 but her creations seem to be very important to her.
Zzul Ma this is a great comment. Your daughter is still extremely young so you’re not too late. I never knew I loved art until I was 34. 😼
Vitalllllllllllll
💕
I wish my parents encourage me too
Or at least tried
She is lucky to have a mother like you💗
Im an INFP, and im a teen, one more thing that triggers me is that my friends think that Im really naive and cant take care of myself most likely because I usually keep on a light and happy (some may call it childish XD) facade at school. They would set out these examples of like “When you go to college, I can’t imagine how you will be without me, you’ll get bullied and how am i going to save you!” Like gurl, i can take care of myself, just because i dont bring out the fire when im with my friends doesnt mean i cant defend myself when i really need to! 😂 please excuse my rant
same
i just get trick by my friends and they say that i am naive but it is just that i trust them
Yeah... and when you do something „dangerous“ they are like overprotective and just don’t let you do it as if you needed their permission 🤦🏼♀️
I’m also an INFP teen, and the best thing to do (in my opinion) is come out so that you might find other INFP’s. It’s gonna get really frustrating later when they keep on doing that. Don’t be afraid to show anger when you feel it.
Yunah Kwon yea, thanks for the advice ❤️
Can confirm: probably the #1 way to make an INFP feel loved/happy is to somehow get them to overhear people say positive, validating things about them behind their back. (excluding obligatory praise from grandparents X'D)
Hush - kun this could apply to everyone❣️
Brilliant
Hush - kun I will literally feel like the best in the world
Yep!
That would be nice
I love that you aren't begging for likes and subscriptions at the end of the video. Classic INFP. So glad to meet people who share the same personality as I do. Fun fact: As an INFP, I can't grasp the idea behind people liking their own comments or posts, especially on Facebook. Lol
I feel that those type of people are most likely desperate to make themselves feel better about themselves by doing those types of things. I understand how low self-esteem can really affect how a person acts, but I definitely agree that if you truly respect yourself, you will not take such a dishonest course of action just because you want to feel better about yourself.
I agree completely. Desperation infused with arrogance is the most respulsive thing, in my opinion.
Agreed, and INFJ here. I have quite a few INFP friends and acquaintances. :)
I like my own posts because I don't care lol so many people would never like their own posts because of how it looks if someone sees it- like yeah only six people liked it and I was three of them from my other accounts- I don't care- I like the picture
Omg, I feel the SAME WAY about the likes. I accidentally liked my own comment once and I was repulsed 😂 I had to unlike as fast as possible lol
The way I found (thanks to this channel) to encourage my INFP partner to be her best - since I don't wanna make her feel pressured and manipulated in any way ever - is just doing things enthusiastically in a way that she wants to do it with me. For example, she used to love drawing and had stopped for quite a while - I started drawing and showing her my crude sketches, she suddenly picked up drawing again and hasn't stopped since.
I’ll pray for someone like you to come to my life
you are such a sweetheart
May I ask what is your MB type is?
I think this is a perfect response. Nothing will delight an INFP more than watching someone else unabashedly and genuinely get excited about something, and then have the opportunity to participate in that with them. I think when it comes down to it that’s all we want from anyone, including ourselves.
Couldn't agree more...except that last piece of advise. INFPs can sense when someone patronizes them in regards to their passion/purpose. It's fake and and one of my biggest pet peeves. Either wholeheartedly support me or get lost...don't play games!
Damn right!
Word!
This is true
Omg yess 💯💯
Couldn’t agree more. Phony attempts to curry favor are very transparent me. In fact it becomes hard to trust anyone who does that.
I find people can really brush off INFP's, but that can be said for any personality like ours. There's something truly annoying about people who have to tell you how amazing they are, be aggressive and try to dominate. Those people are usually the same people who brush us off, think we're simple and act as if we aren't important. It's kinda funny at this stage in my life. Those people feel the need to make you know what they are, what they are capable of and be the leader are so annoying. Their personality type really has to spread themselves onto others. INFP's however couldn't be farther from these people and if there's any personalities I can't stand most, it's these types. At the same time, we are great at reading people and really getting into their head. So while they're trying to be the big man, we are sitting quietly and observing them.
INFP's are highly skilled people with an innate ability to understand people. We really could spin a web around these people and let them know, hey, I'm just as strong as you, dominate and skilled as you. I just don't feel the need to display it all the time. Mess with an INFP though and you will see just how strong we can come at you. We have plenty of reserved energy, ready to pounce on anyone messing with our friends, morals and beliefs.
five5x 100% seriously
I grew up the oldest in an abusive household. My parents never realized how fine a line they were walking. The only reason I stayed was to protect my siblings. Unfortunately, I could take no more, and escaped when I was 19.
I don't think people realize just how much of our competency we hide just to try and fit in.
I dunno when exactly on our life we have developed this personality or is this innate at born or what? But reading at your comments somewhat makes me conclude that we became INFPs because of our family settings. I'm also like passive as what they describe me tho i know myself that I'm not. But whenever I get too much insult or underestimation or i feel I've been trespassed, I can really feel that I have this ability to bring the hell out of this Earth and rip the flesh of whoever the person.
Ed Charles Pasia lol you nailed it
@@kobron1559 hell yeah. You're right. We are nice until we're not!!
You are so right about everything. With the way things are with no privacy I find myself physically ill as an INFP. INFP' s really need there alone time and there privacy. People just don't understand us and were written off as weird and mysterious. I have really struggled as an INFP for years. My advice to young INFP' s is to find out who you really are and to stay away from alcohol. Be true to yourself and embrace being an INFP which is only 4% of the population.
On point.
Thanks for the advice, i am glad i never drink alcohol, or take drugs, even tho sometimes when everything is so stressful, i am attempted to...
Thank you .
It’s interesting you say stay away from alcohol that has been my go to and I feel like it’s because I’m misunderstood and feel so much and not one person gets it or tries to
@@bri7625 Yeah, i'm having some trouble with alcohol right now. Interestingly, if I drink heavily during the evening, the day afterwards, i'm filled with confidence and have an optimistic outlook, as well as I can more simply stop myself from being trapped in my own head/thoughts. It's annoying, but it really has helped me a lot. I do have a problem with alcohol though, i'm trying to quit :/
What frustrates me the most is my Mother is so outgoing and she tells her friends all my problems when I’m a very private person. I guess to a degree it’s okay but she tells people when I’m off work. People are like “but she’s fine” no I’m not. This world is so bass. I don’t belong here. Another thing about INFPs they show so much emotion through their face. You will know if they don’t agree with someone. I am also going to university for three years. I need space . I need space before this. Just want to reinforce that
Yes I had the exact same thing! And now I am obsessed with having space.
Just a gentle word of warning ⚠️ steer clear of your mother if you ask her politely to stop talking about you and she keeps opening her mouth. Believe me that if she ignores your request you will regret letting her in your life in your future.
Oof I can relate, sometimes an aunt or something I don’t even talk to would bring up a really personal problem of mine randomly to ask me about it and it’s so off putting
omg same. but instead of my mom it's my dad. it's so frustrating that I quietly angry-cry and pace around in another room.
What do you think happens to an INFP when they've lost their fire? Looking back at all the unfinished tasks and naysayers that I have collected from the past creates a big monster within yourself. I remember the fire when I was a kid, then a teenager and finally young adult. I never knew where or why it was there. I used to think it was God inside me trying to come out. Maybe it was. After all the things that never came to be and all the things big or small that I couldn't make happen I feel as though I've lost the spark. Now i'm trying to revive it with exploring new places and people. It's like I'm a rock and my reality is the other rock and i'm hitting myself against it trying to bring the flames back. Trying my hardest to keep hope. Why am I posting this here...no idea. Chase your fire people; it's vital to your survival.
True. I felt broken through my upbringing because my principles weren't heard, and I was forced to conform to external values that I had no say in. I got really bad depression for years because I wasn't myself, and I had trouble finding people who understood the complexity I'd inadvertently created within myself. My journey has been long but one significant step back to empowerment was following advice from a healer who told me to listen to my intuition every day when it popped up and drew me towards something. No matter how small it was eg. If I suddenly felt like cutting my toast into triangles, to put aside the naysaying mind voice, and just do it. She said that if I followed it through I would feel a burst of excitement inside - and it was true. My trust in my intuition is now really strong - it always directs me the right way even if it might not make logical sense, and it helps me be in touch with myself. I've also had to look at a lot of layers of hurt and coping mechanisms, and through this I've learned so much about the path away from and back towards the self. I don't know if any of this helps to hear; losing yourself is not an easy path to walk back from - but there are loads of hidden gifts along the way x.
I know this is hard to hear, but take steps, small ones, one at a time. I relate to this so much and feel your pain. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. There is still time to fulfill dreams. I have to tell myself these things all the time and have loved ones help me choose hope when I’m in that dark place of longing and regret and self-loathing. God loves each one of us exactly how we are, right now.
Thank you for posting, Annie ♡ I often feel the same way.
@@lightawake I'm not sure why I'm just seeing this after 2 years! Anyways, I'm glad I saw it. Thank you for your response to my comment. It was a nice reminder to follow the positive and sometimes random inclinations. What kind of healer did you speak with?
Thank you Annie, that is where I am right now. I’m so broken. I have 2 children with deep needs and I pour into them and have nothing left to give. I. Hurt. Trying to heal while celebrating my children but give them all of myself. I almost have nothing left. I do have Jesus and ask him to get me through each day. I guess I’m sowing right now. Sowing with tears.
This video is intimidatingly spot on... from being publicly called out, to finding out that people i've known for years believed I was somehow naive or unintelligent. It frustrates me especially the fact that the people ive known the longest even fail to understand me, but this video is very reassuring that I am not the only INFP out there that is misread time and time again. Thank you for making this
Cesar M people always think quiet people are dumber I don’t know why even as an INFP I completely used to underestimated this friend I also found out was also INFP! For some reasons our society wires us to think chatty people are more automatically intelligent or something? it’s stupid ._. I feel bad now and it made me realise to be careful of first impressions.
It is like they are only hanging around coz they pity and worry about you.
5:28 Yes I hate when ppl sugarcoat! Or when they're superficially nice. I CAN SEE STRAIGHT TROUGH YOU! and it just makes it worse.
Just be real it's much better.
For me I would dream of doing so many things yet I would have no idea how to reach them... So I've learned I have to take small steps or I will go no where... Especially since I tend to procrastinate 😅 tho I feel a bit stuck sometimes still because I'm impatient and fear failure.
BcOriginal THAT. It summs it up beautifully! If that makes sense. Now, excuse me. I'm going off to dreamland 😀 literally
This is literally me
I have the same issue 💜
I own my own business. I have to make lists to keep on task. Emotionally need to keep motivated with projects.
SO TRUE. But I'm learning to tell myself to just do what i want and accept failure as a chance to learn.
I am an INFP & I relate to what u are saying so so much.......when I get that 'deer in the headlights' look, they think nothing is going on inside of me, (that's when they think I might be a little slow, & if I walk away or they walk away, having not said anything, they begin to treat me as if I'm a child or something, & then, I don't even want to talk to them again; I will avoid them)but they don't realize that so much information is racing thru my head, as I try to zero in on, & find what the truth of the situation really is....hahaha......
Exactly!
This happens to me a lot.
I couldn’t agree more. People around me think I’m just always in deep thought because I do respond slower than most people. It’s because im absorbing feelings and not words. When most people talk to me, I feel them first and hear them second.
Man, I would show this to my mom so fast if she were the kind of person open to correction. This is literally everything she has done to me my entire life.
INFPs are probably some of the most open people to criticism. We can pick up on others feelings easily, but we don't always guess their thoughts with accuracy. If we aren't told directly what the problem is (and it's not obvious), we don't know how to help solve it. We will just feel awkward tension and be at a loss as to where it's coming from. We just want to get rid of the tension, and if that means we fix ourselves, we are more than happy to do so!
I also think under the umbrella of "we're not stupid" is that people typically don't take us seriously. They may not know much about us, but the moment they discover one thing that seems slightly unexpected because we're not afraid to show it, we get written off. It becomes more difficult to get to know us because it's assumed we are [insert stereotype here] and that's all we are interested in, when actually we turn out to be very well-rounded individuals. We can easily connect with all sorts of people as long as they allow themselves to connect with us. Since we are introverted, we have no desire to force any walls down. If they don't open up when we politely knock, we close the investigation. When someone politely knocks on us though, we likely invite them into one of our many guest rooms prepared with 5-star perks.
I totally like how you put it. An INFP here.
Extremely well said. Unfortunately some jerks tend to use their preconceptions, prejudices, and biases when dealing with us and start slapping labels on us (most likely not just on us, but on others as well) and also attempt to shame us for what we are.
As an INFP, I can say I relate on a whole another level to when you said people think we are stupid. I’ve lost the count of how many times people thought I wasn’t capable of doing simple tasks and executing a project because I was “too slow”. It has happened so many times that I ended up building this wall to show that I’m capable and I’m not stupid at all. I think it has to do with the child-like aspect of my personality but as you said, it’s not that we are slow, we are just processing things. I’m actually analyzing the task first, that’s how my brain works. My dad even though I had ADHD because he told me I was too slow and didn’t really pay attention. My whole life I’ve been misunderstood and I feel so relieved knowing I am not the only one who goes through this.
As an INFP the only person that understood me and I felt safe with was my father. My mother would put me down and call me stupid, my husband I found out was like my mother. I felt lonely my whole life, now that I know about these different functions I can be kinder to myself.
Aww I felt a deep connection with my dad too, we were so similar. Unfortunately he died in 2014. I miss him a lot.
I'm glad you had someone
The exact same for me. But my father was the one always putting me down. It was such a bizarre up-bringing
My Dad is an ISFP and we are very close too...
Great relatable video! One thing I've had trouble with as an INFP that might go along with #3 is that people sometimes assume I'm immature and naive because I come off agreeable, unassertive, spacey, and silly at times even though I honestly just want to keep things low drama and don't enjoy assuming authority over others. I'm a 6w7 which can make things a bit different though.
Whats a 6w7?
Oh my gosh.... thanks to this I just realised why my dad and I had so much friction growing up. He used to be quite micro-managey when teaching me to do simple tasks and always wanted me to do them exactly the way he did them and he'd get frustrated if I did it differently which made me sulky and frustrated towards him lol
I had this issue with my dad too, and INFJ here
yep- If I do things differently and my parents would tell me it should be the other way I would get all mad
I know the feeling plus I had problems with writing when I was little and my mom just kept forcing do things she wanted it to be and sometimes get angry because she thought that I was doing it on purpose
His way was the right way
Wow. Around 7 minutes in, I really relate. I am friends with a young woman who is 20 years younger than me and for everything I say when relating my experiences on just about anything, she always has to say something contrary or is trying to impart some great wisdom or advice (implying as to how I can change.)
You helped me realize that she is just in a very different place in life and is more social and doens't understand me and my acquired discernment. I decided to cut my time with her because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to change her either,, so I'd rather not try and make that friendship fit for either of us. I am learning that if I start feeling uncomfortable or drained by people, that I need to move on, limit time with them, or have boundaries around what I will share or how and where I will interact with them. As an INFP, my circle of trust gets smaller with age.
I just realized that...every single close person to me has many many times expressed they dont believe I can do xyz... Im turning into an angry fiery dragon just thinking about it
Me too .
pookie pie prove them wrong ❤️
Just ignore those people they don't know anything about you and don't deserve your time and attention.
Being a infp whom also has adhd… I completely understand how people act like they don’t believe in your abilities… I’m sorry you are suffering from this.. and just know you are amazing.
#3 Heaven forbid someone tries to project their own agenda and value system on an INFP instead of respecting their best interest and core values and and allowing them to live their lives accordingly. That's a good way to get shut out for good.
Sarah Ferguson totally
The problem is, as an ENTP I can read your world view and value system like a book. Often times your actions and beliefs will contradict your core values. Pointing that out tends to yield the same reaction from the INFP as the situation you described.
@@OnizukaKakashi47 I dont need to understand the depth of your soul to understand that your values are incongruent with your actions. I don't need to know how each piece of a system was produced to be able to tell you that the system isn't working properly.
@@YHLGguitargeek Are you saying that pointing out to an INFP a specific action they did, which contradicts what you personally believe that individual's core values are, results in that INFP forcing their ideals and core values onto you without respecting yours and allowing you to live your life according to your own?
@@OnizukaKakashi47 No, I'm saying that demonstrating to an INFP contradictions within their moral framework leads them to react as though an agenda is pushed on them when it isnt. And of course keep in mind this is a massive generalization and is coming from my personal experience with two specific INFPs.
I didn’t realize I was an INFP until I cut alcohol out of my life. I didn’t have an addiction, but I get hangovers super easily and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. When I drank, I was definitely an extrovert! Happy to be discovering and understanding my true self now at almost 50.
I turn into an extravert when I'm drinking too! It's nice to have a little liquid courage sometimes, but mostly its the best to embrace your true self xx
Welcome to our private secret little club. ;-)
I’m so glad I found out about the mbti test and your videos! I can finally realize I’m not totally alone in this world
Same here. The first time I read the official infp description, I was shocked.
Same, the first time i got my mbti test result and check some videos about INFP and even read INFP stories and memes on reddit , i felt so touched i literally cried....
I always thought that no one can understand whats going on inside my head, even my own parents...
Im so glad i am not alone
Great video. INTJ here... its remarkable just how on point this is to my INFP wife. Over the years I've accidentally stepped on the toe of many of these points but I've learned the lessons. I find the individualistic authenticity and passion of INFPs to be what draws me to them the most.
You married an INFP as an INTJ. WHY? like legitimately they are my favorite platonic wise, but what attracted you to them romantically.
My hubby is an INTJ and I am an INFP 🥰 together 13 years and still madly in love. IDK what it is about you INTJs.
I'm an INFP and I approve the message. :) Seriously, this all resonates with me on some level. I think it was number 3? Whichever one where you said "Don't assume we are stupid" or whatever..yeah. I totally get that. The school system here in the states, in my opinion, utterly failed me. By the time I was in 5th grade I had gone through 4 schools. I was bored. I was always looking out the window or being a class clown. I doubted the truth of what I was reading. For example, I recall wondering "Who wrote this book? How can I trust that this info is right?" when I was a kid. What kid thinks that shit? My whole life I have felt out of step with the mainstream and felt "stupid" because that's how I was treated more or less. I just felt everything around me and could not focus when I had emotional things going on inside me, which was pretty much daily. In school I was often put in the slower classes or had tutors. But then I'd score so high on an IQ test that my teachers were baffled. I was never driven by competition or some of the shallow "school" rewards of being the teachers pet, having straight A's or whatever. I never saw those things as have merit. I always saw those things like a game of sorts. I just did not want to play the game. I always questioned things. I still do. I no longer think of myself as stupid because I understand myself better now and how I process things. I still struggle to focus on reading and watching movies because my mind is often wandering. Yet I write songs and can evidently express myself in such a way that people are marveled by it. And I don't know how this stuff happens. It's like I just get inspired and get clarity one day and out pops a few tunes. Thanks for you channel. You're super hot by the way. Especially the kiwi accent. Keep on putting this stuff out there. We appreciate you. :)
Sean Showalter keep exploring Ne Sean! I think that’s where the magic is 👍
Well when I was around ten years I would loathe and hate educational system I mean I have to wait for 20 years of education to do a job ??? I mean what skills do I have???One thing more we infps have another ability which far surpasses any other and that is seeing multiple solutions to one problem
Sean Showalter is infps are the creative type and never feel fulfilled in life unless we are creating something in the performing arts, visual arts, architecture, sciences, literature etc
muhammad umair zia I won a national poetry competition in Australia when I was 15
@@Dancestar1981 good for you but for me it has been one hell of a ride I am surrounded
by istjs and estjs,isfj and esfjs in my family and at my workplace I have yet to see another INFP the closest is isfp and man he is much better than any boss I have ever known.
I hate it most when my mother tries to comfort me by saying, "the problem with you is..." It really undermines my self esteem.
It's funny and might be presumptuous, but you remind me so much of myself. I guess because we are both infps. I see that same intense, dreamy, gaze. The feeling of almost motivating yourself by teaching others.
Gaia Same! The most prettiest eyes! I love them!
I'm INFP. This video is one of the most accurate and intelligent insights to the type. I really appreciate your insights as they help me to understand myself better. We're one type who needs a support group because most of the other types misinterpret what is really going on with us and we're often left out of consideration, even despised by the majority and invalidated when in fact we're making very important contributions to the effort at the time. We're busy, okay?
Joe Mourer sooo true Joe 👏
I love meeting other INFP people. We tend to be very genuine, caring, intense and somewhat socially anxious. When around other INFP it feels safe to be awkward and passionate and I get to learn so much about new things. :)
My mom is an INFP while I am an INFJ, we will got along amazingly on some thing but on others we won’t. The main thing is how we act when we are angry or upset.
My mom wants to prove that she is right, she doesn’t want anyone questioning her or her actions. She wants to be left alone to think about her situation and act accordingly (while she is fixing the problem she isn’t in a good mood.)
For me I also like to be alone in these situations, but the reason I want to be alone is because I can’t take feeling things for everyone. I don’t care if people think I’m wrong because my mind is set on my goal and not anyone else around it, but if they start bad mouthing my cause that’s when I get angry.
So we both collide in this situation. As soon as she walks in the room I can tell she is upset/mad, and apparently I stare at her. That makes her even more mad because she doesn’t want any sympathy for she mistakes that as an insult/me mocking her. When she gets mad at me it deeply offends me, since I take the opinions of my loved ones seriously. So we get in a huge argument and leave each other to get alone time.
So the best thing to do for them when they are mad is to stay out of their way, they will act according to their plan and apologize afterwards.
Build in secret, what people don't know, they can't destroy at seed level.
Leave the room and their lives forever if they treat you with contempt.
Zero tolerance alongside zero reaction to people's vile utterances works for me.
Very few have lasted the distance in my life and good riddance to them all. I'm healing and now at peace with myself and God. I rely now on nothing else. Its all an illusion.
Great video, beautiful person, thank you for lighting the way. Best of luck fellow INFPs x
Everything that was said in the video was very true, especially for me.. Not too long ago, I had an incident with a few friends where I was caught unprepared for a scenario/situation that she told me to respond to. I understand that she wanted me to practice my social skills by posing as if she were an interrogator who was questioning me, but she made me feel on edge because I wasn't expecting it. I tried to answer as best that I could, but I was left feeling terrible about myself. The thing with INFPs that most people tend to overlook is that we often overthink things we feel that we didn't do right in the past over and over again to the point that we obsess and stress out over our mistakes. It only took me 10 minutes of overthinking until I couldn't handle it any longer and I broke down crying. Sometimes, it's very difficult for others to understand why we are so sensitive to such small things, and that's exactly what happened in my case. To make matters worse, my friends expected me to get over the matter in no time, which put even more pressure on me because they tried to force me out of the car and into a public place when I was still crying. At this point, I admit that I did act like a baby during this situation, but unfortunately, there are most likely INFPs who act in a similar way. This is mainly because people don't understand that when an INFP breaks down, they need a lot of time and a lot of space in order to sort out their feelings themselves and cool down. The friends of INFPs need to develop more patience than friends of most other types when it comes to matters such as these. This doesn't mean that my friends are bad friends, they simply didn't understand or know how to properly deal with this situation (I've never broken down in front of them). INFPs could be very good natured people, but they are often misunderstood because almost everyone else doesn't understand how to "handle" us properly.
This. If I break down, run for the hills, don't look back, and leave me alone. The only person I allow to see me like that is my husband, and even then I just want him to hold me and not say a word. XD
This situation is very relatable. I find it frustrating when people throw me into situations and expect me to succeed/learn. It’s like throwing me under the bus, especially if they’ve been teaching me a certain way from the beginning and I’ve already shown that I am more than capable of learning/processing on my own. Don’t rush me and don’t underestimate me. I’d rather be talked to than forced into a situation😐 do what you need to and once I’m ready, I will certainly step up. Trust.
You sound so determined, which is so different from me (INFP) who is more soft spoken. I hope to develop that side of me too. And, I saw a princess inside you :)
Jasmine Lee it depends how many times the fire has been crushed in you
INFPs can be so passionate and not at all soft spoken in things that they really believe in and care about. :)
She is not an INFP, IMO
She was screaming to be let out. ;)
Awwwh that's so sweet of you to say, thank you. Well, I think it's great you can be soft-spoken -- that's a quality I do admire
Watching this video and scrolling down through the comments has been so encouraging. I'm an INFP, and it's really nice to see such a good description of it, as well as everyone connecting over it since it's so hard to find people of this type.
You understand me so well, im a INFP-T.
Armyyyy.. Infp-t here too :)
ARMY wow me too!!! INFP-T
I am an INFP-T too!
Perfect. Describes me spot on. And from the comments I am glad to see that there are so many INFPs who can relate to this.
I'm really loving seeing a growing INFP (and other types too) community in the comment sections. Luuuuurve all around xxx
All of us INFPs need to collaborate together!
So refreshing :) i forget I'm not the only person that is like me
So hard to get people to understand, sometimes I'd rather say nothing
Only recently found out I was an INFP and for sooooo long I question if I was okay mentally, being so overly emotional about things whether it involve me or not. Being insanely passionate about morals and feelings and individuality. I thought I was the square puzzle piece trying to be forced into a round hole. Since finding out that their are people around the world exactly the same I have felt this immense feeling of community and understanding. That feeling you feel when someone truly understands how you feel cause they feel the same. That shit is awesome, I know now that my emotions and morals are my strengths. They are the gift given to me to enhance the world in someway. In such an extroverted and cookie cutter world our individuality is going to be the key to our success
Skasgard common For INFPs to feel this way
Skasgard many great actors are INFPs
Is it a common thing for INFPs to not just give out compliments easily? Not in a sense that we look down on people, but that if we don't genuinely feel it we won't go around praising people because it's just....cringe? (Compliments like "oh I like your shoes" "omg that is so cool!")
I just watched the video, and yeahhh that's totally like me.
Thank you Lex. I'm an Infp and needed this although I knew this. Nice to hear it laid out especially how we are not stupid!
No problem! I'm glad you can relate to my content xxx
Omg, the Change + stupid + Dreams parts.. 😧😧😧 Yes !!! Totally !!!! Thank you !!! They ALWAYS made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Saying all those things out loud & expecting me not to be ( deeply ) hurt by it.. 😭 They all thought they already knew me, when I didn't even know me 😒😡😡😡. Most of the times I never even knew what to say back.. 😓
Omgosh yes! I just left a job where my lead coworker was an ESTJ and she continually micromanage me. It was awful! She also talked over me which is similar to the calling out because it felt so disrespectful. I couldn't be my authentic self and that very important to me. It takes me some time to sort out what I'm trying to say and often it felt like she assumed I was stupid too. Checking off all the things here.
As an INFP male, I actually like criticism. If there's something I can do differently to produce a more ideal product, I'm all for it. I know I don't have all the answers, and neither does anyone, so a deep, heartfelt and mindful CONVERSATION is something I absolutely LOVE. Now, that is not to say I like feeling like my character is compromised, or made to feel incapable or doubted. I hate being doubted so much. Also, on being called out in public, I don't need to be gently told things. That being said, it's all about respect. Attack me or my loved ones personally, expect a punch to the face and make best friends with the ground. I'm a bit more direct. Passive has it's uses, but to me (I guess it's because I'm a male who adheres to certain male 'norms' like being tough, not taking sh*t from people and standing up for myself and my loved ones) be direct, but be respectful.
Respect me, I respect you, plain and simple.
As always, Lex, great video :) I love your education about us to outsiders. We can be quite tough to figure out, so this is very productive, insightful and educational. Will show this to my girlfriend xD Thanks!
Hi :) yes, agreed 100%, criticism comes in different shades, which, in turn, can be perceived differently from individual to individual, from day to day. Some days, I can be the happiest, most "half-full" person around; other days - DON'T talk to me. LOL. Definitely a product of 'F'. Fully agree on criticism possibly being destructive, to me, doubt is the biggest destructor of my confidence. To some, doubt can be a major driving force (a trait that I envy) for that person to accomplish their goals. Me, I tend to respond better to positive feedback, motivation and constructive criticism. Currently trying to learn how to convert doubt/negativity to motivation. I mean, sometimes doubt can push me, sometimes it brings me down, so I'm trying to learn how to make more use of my 'F' and drive that towards desirable outcomes, depending on the scenario, involving self-doubt and doubt from others.
To be frank, I watched this video and commented in spite of being in a slump - pretty pissed off even LOL. Reading my comment again and it sounds full of douchebaggotry -___- sorry about that. Anyway, I might not have been clear. Thanks for clearing up the muddy waters for me
I usually like constructive criticism too but I do find that if worded carelessly I do get a bit defensive. I have to keep reminding myself that a lack of vocabulary doesn't mean they are trying to be mean or hurtful. They are just having difficulties explaining what they see in their heads and trying as hard as they can with the vocabulary they currently have...it's tough stuff talking to me it seems.
She literally said in the video if the critisism comes private and in a meaningful conversation with encouragement, it is good for INFPs. Micromanaging is different
I am a leo. A 33 life path in numerology and an infp. And ive felt alone my whole life. Betrayed and abused by everyone. No human family. But darling i have to salute u and thanku for living. I have hope because u spoke. Thankyou....you beautiful soul.
Sayre Stone H omg same here
"And now I'm starting to ramble...." Soooo adorable! INFPs always melt my heart.
As an INFP myself, I am very encouraged by your videos. Your videos make me feel like I have a chance of succeeding in this world. Your channel is my first pick if I need INFP advice. Thank you so much for making these videos, and I will continue to keep watching them for years to come!
This video is SO comforting as a fellow INFP, thank you so much. One thing I've struggled with lately is my more open friends criticising or picking out things to 'help' me but I just crumble when they do. I only ask for opinions on things if I need it, especially for work, but if someone has some 'honest' opinion they want to say that doesn't matter, I'd rather not know?! I would never think to do this for someone else! Am i alone?! xoxo
Your videos have helped me understand my INFP son. I so appreciate your down to earth and candid approach to this. You generalize just enough, but your own, personal examples illustrate living as an INFP so eloquently.
I am an INTP, I have 4 children, from oldest to youngest they are INFP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ. Of all my children my INFP has been, by far, the hardest for me to connect with. We can have some very deep convos but I always feel like I’m missing the forest full of trees with him. It kills me to watch this video and know that I have done every one of those things to him. I read all your comments and see how these things have so negatively affected you all. As a parent I would like to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we don’t understand, that we underestimate and micro manage. I’m sorry that we crush your dreams and put you down. I truly am. But I can guarantee it isn’t for lack of trying to understand. We truly only want good things for you. I can’t speak for all parents but I can say that most of us really are trying. When we do these things all we are trying to do is communicate with you. We are trying to understand something that is foreign to us and sadly when we can’t then we try to make you fit. Thank you for posting this video and showing us outsiders a glimpse into your passionate and colorful worlds. Your advice is golden. I, in turn, would like to leave some advice for any INFP who struggles with all these things...communicate. As an INTP my whole life has been one giant bunched up knot of no communication or miscommunication and if I can learn to communicate better ANYONE can. Always strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Thank you for posting.
My parents sadly did all of these to me
Your videos mean so much to me and other infp's, thank you for making them. They're one of the few things in life that help people like us feel understood and accepted.
I am so overwhelmed at all of the information I am receiving..Watching ur videos and reading these comments can I say THANK GOD.. This new information has put me in a state of creation and newness. I'm so happy to know all of u are out there and it's so amazing to have that sharp lonely feeling taken from me.
I am an INFP forced to be an extrovert. "The world doesn't need weird shy people" My mum taught me that and I took it seriously. Soon I found myself chained behind a wall of other people's criticism and ideas.
I can definitely relate to the 5 points, especially that people think that we're stupid. Ouch. Thanks for the encouragement Lex!
Lex, I love your considered thoughts on how our personality type ticks. I'm sure you fully understand what I mean when I say that I just listen to you talk and fall in and out of introspection as I hear your words. Entire spans of time are spent thinking about my current thoughts, my past thoughts/actions, and how those may be misinterpreted or well interpreted by the people around me instead of what you're actually saying. You're amazing at throwing my mind into a tangent.
This really is a compliment from me as it lets me watch your rants more than once because there legitimately is novel ideas on even the third viewing of your content. Time spent lost in my conscious mind is time well spent and you are one of the best people at stimulating that process. I'm almost always left with a smile after getting to think to myself quietly at your musings. I'm certain that what you do has an overall benefit to everybody that comes into contact with it so don't lose sight of your ideas and keep at it. Much appreciated.
feel free to enjoy your subconscious enjoyment from the ENFJ within you from my high praise. Because I mean it. ;)
This is so shockingly relatable and relevant to me. Weird to feel this understood.
All those are so true.. My mother has bad tempered. I really cannot take it when my mother shouts and the neighborhood knows the issue. Bang the gates and everything. I hope my mother knows that I just love to be alone where no one keeps eyeing, giving instructions and where no one is there to change me.
Maryam Jameelah you are my husband.
I'm a kiwi INFP and I smiled when I clicked onto your video. I learnt alot about myself. Well done!
That's awesome! Where are you from?
God, I felt so understood listening to you decription! You're as beautiful as you are insightful. I saw a lot of heart in this video.
I'm an INFP and an enneagram 4 with a 5 wing, so when you talked about people trying to change us I could not agree more!
I'm a 4w5 too... that part was certainly a nod to the enneagram :)
What?? Daydreaming is part of my personality?? I feel like I just had an epiphany, thank you so much!! Amazing and very informative vid!
Thanks for a great video Lex! Nice fuel for self reflection in regards to how I behave with others and how others treat me.
As an INFPI like constructive criticism if it’s coming from someone who has my best interest at heart. I get hurt at first but I internalise it and 9/10 try to improve myself.
Good advice from an ACTUAL INFP, not a mistyped ESFJ, ENFP or INFJ. Real INFP's are somewhat less common than is commonly thought, you'll know one when you meet one, and we are always socially traumatized and anxious.
I am surrounded by people who don’t have a single clue about different personalities and just view being quiet is not an ideal type of person, that’s why I feel depressed most of the time.
Very well said!!! I relate to all 5 but numbers 1 and 3 are absolutely spot on for me. When people micromanage me and/or ask me to change, it seriously almost feels like the death of me. I'm not being overdramatic either. I seriously feel like a shell of myself when those things happen and I either shrivel up and become useless or I go to the other extreme and become enraged and rebel. Needless to say, I'm working on how to find a better way to respond in these situations.
Great video on INFPs and being myself an INFP, I tend to have low self-esteem because of constant discouragements and criticism. Does having low self-esteem is a normal thing for INFP people or it is not? I'm confused. Help please.
Sabari ram, for me, it's a normal thing. It's just something we adjust to after time, I suppose. (=
I think for most it’s normal. INFP’s are some of the most sensitive types. Praying for your self esteem! God will be with you!!!
Same here tbh
Sabari ram develop your self awareness, and believe in your infp superpowers. And watch GaryVee if you have to and become silently unstoppable. Prove yourself and the others around you wrong
@@kobron1559 infinite agreement!
I'm an INFP male and it has always been very hard for me to really explain what I'm thinking. And as live in Franve and my english isn't perfect, it makes it even harder for me right now.
But OMG i'm so glad for having passed the mbti test, found out i'm and infp, checked some infp memes and most of all, found your videos (and also their comment sections). I found every single things I saw here soo true. It's also very weird that people that never saw me and don't even know I exist, can understand what I think or how I think better than my closest friends or even my parents (my mum make these 5 mistakes all day everyday by the way, my dad too but I literally ran away from him since a bit more than 2 yers, but that's an other problem).
Thanks for making these videos, you can't imagine how much it helped me and made me understand some things. (EDIT: I was wrong, in fact you're surely the one who has the bigget chances to understand it).
Great video. I can relate to everything you said. I haven't found my purpose yet and I've so many interests, but when I found my ook purpose in life I'll fight for it.
Jolanda de Jong I’m turning 50 this year and still seeking my purpose. Professionally, I’m finally in a position to focus on how I feel rather than the amount of my paycheck, and I’m so thankful.
Jolanda de Jong pick the one your strongest with and run with it and keep the other interests as hobbies
I'm an ISFP guy and I have an INFP twin sister, so videos like these are really interesting! I do get her "slow" thinking process as I'm similar. We both take a while to consider a response and won't come back right away with something, but that doesn't mean we're slow or less intelligent.
I appreciate how she can be really passionate and dedicated about certain things, because that's something I've always struggled with. She also enjoys academics and discussing her views on things, whereas I can start to tune out and get disinterested after a certain point.
I do think she sometimes is very sensitive and once she sees things a certain way, it's very hard to bring her to reality. She is well-intentioned and tries to do the right thing, but sometimes she thinks some wild things that are just not close to right and isn't self-aware enough to know how that is coming across to others. I think ISFP's are very aware and can sense what others are feeling and thinking, whereas sometimes INFP's are a little too caught up in their own feelings and misinterpret other people.
Micromanagement for sure is annoying I hated when a co-worker told how to cut pizza properly in their mind. I felt embrasseed as I was in front of another co-worker, I asked them if I could do it on my own, I surprised myself when I said “you want to cut it you’re way then you cut it.”
Wow, can certainly relate to that (and the embarrassment part). I'm glad you could tell them to cut it themselves... badass!
omg yeah honestly sometimes I suprise myself cause there are times where I become a bit badass and then my friends will be like "oh shit 👀 pop off" and hyping up lol anyways I just wanted to say I relate :D
Loved this video! It's so soothing to know that so many fellow INFPs are together in the struggle of being misunderstood most of the time by the rest. Also, you are soooo beautiful. Thanks again for this video ☺
I am so glad I found this channel, I’m with you on all of these points. You’re excellent at explaining yourself and the processes you go through. Fairy land is a particularly relatable one 😂
Really relate to this. I have tested as both infp and infj - never anything other than those - but this description is convincing me I'm probably infp! Subscribed:)
Lex, this is really good. Thanks for taking the time to post it.
As an ENTP with an INFP partner , this has been quite insightful !
I just found your channel , and you made my day :)
like i never had anyone who understand me but with you and all INFP out there i know i'm not alone by having this personality haha
same like you my close friend just telling me to not day dreaming, be realistic and a lot , its just insult me but he is my only close friend , i don't really close with my family because since i kid they always pushed me to do "thing" while i have no choice , and i always cover up and build a protective barrier and day dreaming ..
i don't have a lot of friend , and my close friend is an INTP , wich mean he won't get my Introverted Feeling , my F and his T will never get it , and yeah it make me sick when he telling me to change , but then i pushed him to understand me wich in the end he just gone and keep away like other INTP do , and it sickening me , i can't stop feel bad for it and make me overthink everyday (this just happen last week and he still not reapond to me) ..
and when i watch your vid its just telling me "Hey you are not alone" or something like that haha , i can get my function back and not really overthink and give him space till he showed up(or never maybe)
sorry i just want to tell a story , its just sickening me and i can't hold it, sorry i don't know who or where should i tell my story..
Thank you so much for all of this !
really love how you talk and your accent !
❤️
Hi! Omg I can't believe it, I'm a kiwi and an infp too! ...and I'm gonna quietly binge watch all of your videos tonight because your words just speak to my souuuuuul :')
Develop your extroverted thinking, especially your logical reasoning skills, and learn about psychology. This will help you be less impulsive, use your feelings in a more rational manner to solidify and ground your values, and see things more clearly. Be sure to challenge peoples assertions and claims and have your mind blown by the fact that most people do and say what they do almost totally unconsciously, without any real logical understanding or reflection, and usually can't explain to you why they do and say the things they do. Peoples thinking and behavior turns out to be insanely shallow and I think this is a place where the INFP can really connect with people or help them understand things more clearly. God knows there's far too much projection and hate in the world today.
I really liked the video. I recently had taken the MBTI test and learned I was an INFP. Been looking up many videos even ones mentioning differences between INFP and INFJ. I fall somewhere between the two but lean more to INFP.
I decided to listen to the video for more in site and if possible, more explanation of how to explain things to friends. Something you said also really hit home with me.
I have always had dreams of being a writer. Even as a child who wouldn't even read picture books (Even such things as Anime / Comic books) till middle school much less chapter books... I always wanted to write. Even to this day I remember being a kid wanting to write a book about a special yet misunderstood horse. As a teen I was asked by family and other adults what my hopes and dreams for the future was. When I mentioned that I wanted to write.. I was strongly discouraged by them. Many gave the example of J.K. Rowling and her struggles to find a publisher for Harry Potter. Even Stan Lee and his struggle with publishing X-Men.
I have always had a massive imagination and quick thinking as well. I've always had a voice inside me and a fire telling me to write. Like it is what I am meant to do. Yet due to doubt and over thinking I end up trying to ignore it. Due to this it puts me in a depressed mood and I emotionally will shut down and block people, even who are close to me. Eventually I block it out enough that I can try moving again in life even if it seems very dull to me. It works, I guess, until I see something and accidentally let my imagination run off again and it comes up with book ideas or possibilities. Suddenly the fire is ignited once again and I may try to write again until someone discourages me. Then it all repeats.
I am sorry for writing so much. I usually wouldn't and I don't like rambling, though its so easy... I do want people still reading to understand something. As an adult or child it doesn't matter. Kids, while they might not be old enough to understand or remember, Can sometimes remember more than you realize or would think. Even as a child I held memories of times I had strong emotions. I remembered words I didn't understand and I learned them later, making it so I understood what was said. It was negative feelings I got from others and the emotions I got in return caused the memory to stick. The time I am really happy and living a better life is the time I have the fire inside me. When people believe in me and encourage me. Most of all in the times that I feel self doubt. I am exited and happy to the point of shaking when I am talking about a book I was planning or am working on. Never discourage them because doing that may be like diming the color in a vibrant painting or may make them push you away because they wont accept their colors fading.
im 46 years old now, but in school i was quiet and rebellious. i knew instictively that i didnt fit in with any groups like the jocks or the smart kids, and after awhile didnt even try.i was more of an artist and musician back then. i was awful at public speaking so people didnt get to know me unless they spent some time really talking to me.they would be surprised to learn i was a wise soul that just didn't want to talk about trivial crap all day long.i thrived when i left school,which really surprised people.
Don't know if you pick this up after all those years but you speak my language and I'm crying
my teachers constantly looks over my shoulder and it makes my feel uncomfortable and I can't work correctly
It's really refreshing to see how accurate your analysis is because I've only recently learned that I'm an INFP and a lot makes sense now. Grew up with low self esteem thinking no one understood me and feeling a bit like an alien, pretending, to fit in. And even in the workplace recently I've felt extremely attacked when i was told to change the way I am (!) and being micromanaged by a new boss was just my cue to quit my job and pursue an independent carreer. Which is totally INFP.
Joan of Arc was an INFP. If she can do it so can I
👏🏽🤩but also😬😵
Very interesting points made, hitting on some characteristics that I didn't know were infp. I am a concert-trained pianist and subjected myself to decades of intense training. Although most people would find that demoralizing, sitting for hours and being critiqued, I wanted it because the tradeoff was worth it. I was focused on the goal, and I trusted my teachers. But criticism without purpose is really hard for me to take, because I perceive it as ego. I'm definitely different, and difficult to understand. I'm not sure why, but 50 years of being an infp has shown me clearly that most people don't get me. I just don't worry about it anymore.
Girl! You have absolutely nailed it 💜
Always rooting for the underdog :) This was great, thanks from Sweden!