"What about you, what would you do with a million bucks?" "Nothing" "Well, you don't need a million bucks to do nothing, just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit!"
Aww you beat me to it! That was my first thought after the video too! Can't believe you snuck in there before I could type this! You only beat me by about 6 years too.
In The Sopranos, Tony Soprano's wife nags him to tear his eyes away from the TV for a second and, without looking away from the set, he says: "But it's so much more interesting." Deep.
Worst thing is, I've been on several trips with that boat ("Hurtigruten"). I've actually seen several people sitting inside the boat, watching the boat trip on TV in the restaurant, instead of going to the freaking front of the boat and watch it live. World's going crazy.
We actually DID watch the "front of the boat" video while on the Norwegian Sky cruise ship... We watched it from the bed. (Made a great night light, as well). :D
I agree and I love shows about nothing too. (Assuming Mr. Stanhope isn't sarcastic when he says he does.) I'm perfectly able to watch one of those meditation and relaxation DVDs that just show you a beach or fish in an aquarium for hours and drift off into daydreams and if the DVD or downloaded video doesn't have good music, I just switch on the "Solo Piano Radio" stream and listen to an endless progression of soothing, mellow piano music of the kind they play in the better hotel lobbies. I could do that all day if I had the time. Where I live (Germany) we had a music TV channel for grown ups a few years ago, that would actually only play music and usually the more obscure stuff. During the night they filled the hours with a show called "Deluxe Night Flight". It was all footage shot from a helicopter slowly flying over Las Vegas or New York City at night, with funk and soul music playing over it. I loved that so much. One of the state owned TV stations has a comparable night filler show called "Space Night", which just shows you hours of footage shot from a satellite or the International Space Station, looking down on the planet, with mellow electronic music and sometimes stuff like Bette Midler's "From a Distance" or "Another day in Paradise" from Phil Collins playing over it. And then there is another channel that fills the night with footage of the world's most beautiful train rides. They just strap a camera to the front of some train and film the whole ride from one station to the next in the Alps or New Zealand or the Australian Outback, unedited and all without music.
They always said Seinfeld is a show about nothing. Actually, it’s a show about how sad & pathetic people truly are... Your comedy is light years better than that nothing
So it's basically a cocktease where every viewer's waiting for the train to crash and it just keeps on running in the disturbingly efficient manner it does every day in Germany.
Lol I hella needed this. Coincidentally from politics that invaded my every fiber of being. Even supernatural. The knitting channel, God bless them. There's nothing going on and I'm missing it. Yes!!!
No soy traductor, y posiblemente no sea la mejor traducción, pero quizás ayude a los hispanohablantes: Soy Dough stanhope y por eso bebo. Siempre he dicho que Sendfield era un show acerca de nada. Disfruto ese concepto porque es lo que busco en un programa de televisión, nada. A esta edad no quiero aprender nada, quiero tener que preocuparme o prestar atención y es por eso que intento no leer libros, porque te llevan pensar y esas cosas ¿Quién necesita esas cosas? Pero ni siquiera Sendfield puede imaginar los niveles de entretenimiento vacío que la televisión puede alcanzar. Nadie hace nada mejor que los noruegos, ellos son los maestros del concepto de “slow tv” (televisión lenta). Un programa de doce horas acerca de coser, nada salvo el implacable acto de coser. Eso es un paraíso para mi. “Ellos pusieron cámaras en un crucero en Noruega, y filmaron los seis días, el viaje entero, 113 horas, solo un episodio. Y habría visto ese episodio en mi camarote en ese crucero.(Risas) Dando gracias a dios por no tener que levantar mi cuello todo el camino a la ventana para ver el viaje, por que lo puedes ver en la televisión. ¡Espero que no atraquemos antes de que esto se acabe! Necesito saber como acaba este crucero. Si pudiera poner esos segmentos de nada... Por que esto no es como realmente soy, yo no estoy tan cabreado todo el tiempo ¿Tu piensas que esto lo que hago en casa? Ponerme borracho y (mueve los brazos)¡ah, ah, ha! No eso es solo lo que hago una docena de veces al año, el resto del tiempo soy algo así como tranquilo. Yo no soy como ese (nombre del presentador de televisión) que tiene que estar cabreado todas las putas noches. ¿Como puedes vivir así (nombre del presentador de televisión)? Relajate, solo coge una cerveza y calmate, nada está pasando y tu te lo estás perdiendo. PD, el video no me ha dejado subir subtitulos.
Socialized Insanity I’m a transistorized, transgenederized, transmogrified trans-human A corporatized, commercialized, industrial-strength consumer A goal setting, gym sweating, debt fretting freak A social climbing networker that’s always on heat I got my education, majoring in indoctrination Where they taught me to comply, to never question why And so I’m chasing an illusion, of success that’s a delusion That is sending me insane, exploding my brain And as we teeter on the brink, soon to be extinct I always have a smile, cos' I'm living in denial.
How many Norwegian stand up comics does it take to make you laugh? Answer: 10 One that sucks really bad, and the other 9 out in the newspaper the day after to tell you that he REALLY is funny! (Maybe you have to be from Norway to get that)
I would argue with him about Seinfeld as soon as I remember what it was about. Jokes aside, I've watched only two seasons and can't remember any of the episodes. Like there was the one in which Jerry ruined an expensive jacket because he wore it during the rain for some reason.
I just watched his clip on Oklahoma Christians and tried to rationally explain the Christians bad behavior. Clicked on this video after and the 1st thing he starts talking about is the same thing he was scolding Christians for which was not really giving a shite lol Although at the end of the last clip and to his credit he did say sometimes hate does make him do nice things. Lol Its kinda ironic and it speaks to the hypocricy that we all have (or had) and how hard it is to avoid sometimes but as said in my comment on the other video being a Christian and being a follower of Christ isnt exactly the same thing. As Christ said follow God or what is good rather than following man. This includes a religion/Church. Christ is the Church. G2G 🙌 AMEN 🙏
Like Carlin said, the dude who does nothing, watches tv and jacks off, ain't causing no trouble. It's the highly motivated people, who think very highly of themselves, that are causing all the shit and the incessant and annoying white noise burbling through our lives. Stanhope's a genius. "I hope we don't dock. I wanna know how this ends." Funny as fuck.
hm, seems like he was desperately searching for something to make fun of, but i don't think these 'slow tv' type of things are a good target for that. sure, it's several days long footage of a ship moving along, basically emptiness. funny. but at least they aren't pretentious or manipulating, like 90% of tv. while pointless, it's soothing, relaxing, help you fall asleep, sometimes it's even meditative, besides being hilarious during anyones teen-stoner days. bob ross painting, space night, fireplace flames, early morning mountain weather, ... definitely worse things out there.
I think you need to rewatch this, to me it seemed like he was saying the same thing you are, almost all TV is annoying, people should turn it off and tune into slow-tv for a change.
I found if I sit around and do nothing and allow nothing to get into me within several hours I have a piece in a call about me and I can think clearly and work through problems in my life much more effectively than the manic running around constantly distracted constantly offended iPhone crowd
@@viceroybear6298 that's why everybody is so stupid today, well the kids are, they never got to experience rolling around the floor bored out of their minds.
I have seen da light! Why, oh why, am I on UA-cam, where everybody but me is an idiot, and I'm compelled to argue with them? It's insane! All that work, and I'm a wreck at the end of the day. And, people are so ungrateful for my efforts, I _still_ have less than 500 subscribers. I'm gonna pull down my channel, and spend those hours contemplating my bellybutton instead.
Doug Stanhope? Hmm, I like him, he's OK but sometimes that's how I feel like: 'He's pushing it so hard to be edgy, why don't you watch some Bill Hicks instead, people?' That's all folks! :/
"There's nothing going on... and you're missing it" Jesus, how profound!
I think it's my favorite sentence ever.
Nothing was going on here for the last 5 years, and I missed it.
Non-duality in a nutshell.
An elite one liner
floating in the dark empty non changing vacuum of space for 80 years
From the cult classic movie 'Office Space'
"You missed work yesterday. What did you do?"
"Nothing, and it was everything I dreamed it could be."
"What about you, what would you do with a million bucks?"
"Nothing"
"Well, you don't need a million bucks to do nothing, just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit!"
Shawn Evans So many good lines in that movie!
I wouldn’t say I was missing it, Bob.
Aww you beat me to it! That was my first thought after the video too! Can't believe you snuck in there before I could type this! You only beat me by about 6 years too.
dat knitting, I've never felt more proud to be Scandinavian
Joe Rogan: Look at me! I do a three-hour podcast!
Norway: Hold my akvavit
"Have you ever tried to sleep sober?" - Doug Stanhope
I mean I have plenty of times. It's just more comfortable not. -_-
Yeah, but it's much easier to get it started if I'm not
I don't "fall asleep" rather I pass out. A different kind of sleep waking up not knowing when you went to bed
that last sentence was so deep
To this day…the Beethovens 7th symphony playing in the background always makes me grin because of Doug.
"There's nothing going on, and you're missing it"
I love this guy :)
_"There's nothing going on. And, you're missing it!"_ Excellent.
I dont believe in life quotes,But damn.
"There's nothing goin' on, and you're missing it"
:D
That was awesome
Hearing that sentence was like someone placing a tiny silk pillow for my heart to rest on.
George Mirchev damn that was downright poetic....so..un-stanhope like. i love it...it goes perfectly with him...
"That's why I try not to read books, because it gets you all thinking and stuff... Who needs that?"
Damnnn, that was beautiful.
@Evi1M4chine “The country’s fucked! The planet’s fucked! How could that have happened when I gave a fuck!”
In The Sopranos, Tony Soprano's wife nags him to tear his eyes away from the TV for a second and, without looking away from the set, he says:
"But it's so much more interesting."
Deep.
Isn't it sad as a people. We watch shows on tv about actors watching shows who watch actors watching shows.
There’s nothing going on, and you’re missing it! Stanhope’s a genius.
I love that Brooker describes you as a "shambles" -- that's perfectly apt.
"There's nothing going on, and you're missing it." haha
"Doing nothing means a lot to me" - Bon Scott, another great philosopher.
Worst thing is, I've been on several trips with that boat ("Hurtigruten"). I've actually seen several people sitting inside the boat, watching the boat trip on TV in the restaurant, instead of going to the freaking front of the boat and watch it live.
World's going crazy.
Jan Thore hope the cruise don't end before the shows over! LMFAO
No the world is not going crazy, in fact nothings happening
"There's nothing going on and you're missing it"
Perfect
There's nothing going on and you're missing it. Am I the first to say that?
We actually DID watch the "front of the boat" video while on the Norwegian Sky cruise ship... We watched it from the bed. (Made a great night light, as well). :D
"I'm the slime and the garbage from your TV set"Thanks Frank you nailed it decades ago.
I'm the slime oozing out from your tv set*
Doug is really missing out on a goldmine here. He should open his own clothing line because he has some unique taste.
His clothing line would be clothes people died in picked up from thrift stores in the arse end towns of middle america lmao
That's not taste, that's what Salvation Army sales have to offer :)
ua-cam.com/video/77PL3rxAYvA/v-deo.html
He dresses like a parody of a stand up comedian
It's a 70s look, but he made it his own.
Genius!!
Doug Stanhope is an vanguard of ASMR
I agree and I love shows about nothing too. (Assuming Mr. Stanhope isn't sarcastic when he says he does.)
I'm perfectly able to watch one of those meditation and relaxation DVDs that just show you a beach or fish in an aquarium for hours and drift off into daydreams and if the DVD or downloaded video doesn't have good music, I just switch on the "Solo Piano Radio" stream and listen to an endless progression of soothing, mellow piano music of the kind they play in the better hotel lobbies. I could do that all day if I had the time.
Where I live (Germany) we had a music TV channel for grown ups a few years ago, that would actually only play music and usually the more obscure stuff. During the night they filled the hours with a show called "Deluxe Night Flight". It was all footage shot from a helicopter slowly flying over Las Vegas or New York City at night, with funk and soul music playing over it. I loved that so much.
One of the state owned TV stations has a comparable night filler show called "Space Night", which just shows you hours of footage shot from a satellite or the International Space Station, looking down on the planet, with mellow electronic music and sometimes stuff like Bette Midler's "From a Distance" or "Another day in Paradise" from Phil Collins playing over it.
And then there is another channel that fills the night with footage of the world's most beautiful train rides. They just strap a camera to the front of some train and film the whole ride from one station to the next in the Alps or New Zealand or the Australian Outback, unedited and all without music.
these are pure gold!
These are the best
Totally brilliant.
Doug inadvertently doing the Joe Bob Briggs character, complete with cooler, outdoor easy chair, and bustedass TV.
This is the best thing ever said by a human. Wow god damn!!!
They always said Seinfeld is a show about nothing. Actually, it’s a show about how sad & pathetic people truly are... Your comedy is light years better than that nothing
Doug Stanhope you are funny as funk ..........i love you !
I always looked forward to Doug.
in germany there is a decade old TV show called Bahn TV where they show nothing else than the view out of a train for hours on end.
So it's basically a cocktease where every viewer's waiting for the train to crash and it just keeps on running in the disturbingly efficient manner it does every day in Germany.
I'd totally watch that.
Mar I would watch that...i'm to poor to travel!
He reminds me of beetljuice the way he looks/dresses and his mannerisms. Lol
"Man reads the script for the Bee Movie for 8 hours straight"
Doug is a fucking genius
2:28..." There's nothin goin on, and you're missin it. "
stanhopes a legend and thats why i drink (only tea of course i'm british) i have a red coat too
Lol I hella needed this. Coincidentally from politics that invaded my every fiber of being. Even supernatural. The knitting channel, God bless them. There's nothing going on and I'm missing it. Yes!!!
LOVED IT!!!!! THX 4 UPLOADING!!!!!!
I actually would love to watch that
The Best.
2020 is really driving home the line about how we take nothing going on for granted. Nothing sounds pretty good right about now.
Wouldn't this apply to 90% of sitcoms, though? It's just people talking about some thin plot for 30 minutes to arrive back where they started.
Best bit ever
Can someone tell me the name of the last song? The "instrumental/classical" one at the end. I would appreciate it :)
Beethoven: Symphony 7, Allegretto, movement 2
Doug Stanhope, Steve Van Vandt; the Norwegians can spot America's coolest exports.
No soy traductor, y posiblemente no sea la mejor traducción, pero quizás ayude a los hispanohablantes:
Soy Dough stanhope y por eso bebo.
Siempre he dicho que Sendfield era un show acerca de nada. Disfruto ese concepto porque es lo que busco en un programa de televisión, nada. A esta edad no quiero aprender nada, quiero tener que preocuparme o prestar atención y es por eso que intento no leer libros, porque te llevan pensar y esas cosas ¿Quién necesita esas cosas? Pero ni siquiera Sendfield puede imaginar los niveles de entretenimiento vacío que la televisión puede alcanzar. Nadie hace nada mejor que los noruegos, ellos son los maestros del concepto de “slow tv” (televisión lenta). Un programa de doce horas acerca de coser, nada salvo el implacable acto de coser. Eso es un paraíso para mi.
“Ellos pusieron cámaras en un crucero en Noruega, y filmaron los seis días, el viaje entero, 113 horas, solo un episodio. Y habría visto ese episodio en mi camarote en ese crucero.(Risas) Dando gracias a dios por no tener que levantar mi cuello todo el camino a la ventana para ver el viaje, por que lo puedes ver en la televisión. ¡Espero que no atraquemos antes de que esto se acabe! Necesito saber como acaba este crucero. Si pudiera poner esos segmentos de nada... Por que esto no es como realmente soy, yo no estoy tan cabreado todo el tiempo ¿Tu piensas que esto lo que hago en casa? Ponerme borracho y (mueve los brazos)¡ah, ah, ha! No eso es solo lo que hago una docena de veces al año, el resto del tiempo soy algo así como tranquilo. Yo no soy como ese (nombre del presentador de televisión) que tiene que estar cabreado todas las putas noches. ¿Como puedes vivir así (nombre del presentador de televisión)? Relajate, solo coge una cerveza y calmate, nada está pasando y tu te lo estás perdiendo.
PD, el video no me ha dejado subir subtitulos.
WORD! ^^
They broke the fucking mold after Doug Stanhope.
What's that classical music behind his great speech?
ua-cam.com/video/mgHxmAsINDk/v-deo.html
Never saw Sienfeld..missed nothing..
Your loss
That's actually a really good joke.
Does anyone know the name of the background music on this?
Does the jacket match the chair?
nice
sean hannity rhymes with mental insanity
It also rhymes with sober sanity. And porn manatee.
pawn advancing
It also rhymes with "Inanity"
the Hunter Thompson of comedy
That knitting show looks pure hell and designed by a sadist!
I think it'd be good for when you're coming down from a night out. It's relaxing and reassuring in a way
4 arguments for the elimination of television is a good read.
This is probably the same thing that happened to Myamoto Musashi.
“I only bet with people who are straight” boom roasted
This was the first segment that legitimately had no point
I believe the point was "why should we care? there's nothing worth while out there"
Nothing IS the point.
Doug is America's conscience
whether you agree with him or not you gotta admit that's a really great line
Andy Warhol would love these shows.
Socialized Insanity
I’m a transistorized, transgenederized, transmogrified trans-human
A corporatized, commercialized, industrial-strength consumer
A goal setting, gym sweating, debt fretting freak
A social climbing networker that’s always on heat
I got my education, majoring in indoctrination
Where they taught me to comply, to never question why
And so I’m chasing an illusion, of success that’s a delusion
That is sending me insane, exploding my brain
And as we teeter on the brink, soon to be extinct
I always have a smile, cos' I'm living in denial.
A 12 hour show about knitting, i'm betting Doug is the first and only person to watch an entire episode LOL.
How many Norwegian stand up comics does it take to make you laugh?
Answer: 10
One that sucks really bad, and the other 9 out in the newspaper the day after to tell you that he REALLY is funny!
(Maybe you have to be from Norway to get that)
Schism Chasm Ahahahhah
I would argue with him about Seinfeld as soon as I remember what it was about.
Jokes aside, I've watched only two seasons and can't remember any of the episodes. Like there was the one in which Jerry ruined an expensive jacket because he wore it during the rain for some reason.
Soooo happy this hasn't been reported for the pure unadulterated enjoyable porn it is.
This man is the closest thing we've to Carlin since Carlin.
What does Doug do when a car comes?
Nothing.
Doug Stanhope: Professional Nihilist...and shambles.
I just watched his clip on Oklahoma Christians and tried to rationally explain the Christians bad behavior. Clicked on this video after and the 1st thing he starts talking about is the same thing he was scolding Christians for which was not really giving a shite lol Although at the end of the last clip and to his credit he did say sometimes hate does make him do nice things. Lol Its kinda ironic and it speaks to the hypocricy that we all have (or had) and how hard it is to avoid sometimes but as said in my comment on the other video being a Christian and being a follower of Christ isnt exactly the same thing. As Christ said follow God or what is good rather than following man. This includes a religion/Church. Christ is the Church.
G2G 🙌 AMEN 🙏
Doug is an avid reader
Seems kind of relaxing, certainly better than Duck Dynasty or Fox News. Norway's shows about nothing sound better than America's at least.
0:50
Awesomeness...and nothingness. :P
Doing nothing takes exactly so much time, that you don't get to do anything else.
i aspire to be a shambles
Did Stanhope just get swatted?
Let's jump in am SUV and whoop us some Nori ass!
The only thing i hate about this video is the usa song at the start. But stanhope common sense is great
Hmmm
The beauty of nothingness
Really fucking glad I don't have cable.
Haven't had it for years
I still watch TV, but not network television. Network television is fucking trash.
Why don`t you just admit it Doug, you love Weegies!
Like Carlin said, the dude who does nothing, watches tv and jacks off, ain't causing no trouble. It's the highly motivated people, who think very highly of themselves, that are causing all the shit and the incessant and annoying white noise burbling through our lives. Stanhope's a genius. "I hope we don't dock. I wanna know how this ends." Funny as fuck.
Nothing but relentless knitting
Easily willing to throw his charitys money around... good guy Hannity right there.
I believe he was saying loser pays out of his pocket 10 000 to the other guys charity.
Doing nothing is in my top 5 favorite things to do.
I wish people who did stuff would get out of the way.
hm, seems like he was desperately searching for something to make fun of, but i don't think these 'slow tv' type of things are a good target for that. sure, it's several days long footage of a ship moving along, basically emptiness. funny. but at least they aren't pretentious or manipulating, like 90% of tv. while pointless, it's soothing, relaxing, help you fall asleep, sometimes it's even meditative, besides being hilarious during anyones teen-stoner days. bob ross painting, space night, fireplace flames, early morning mountain weather, ... definitely worse things out there.
I think you need to rewatch this, to me it seemed like he was saying the same thing you are, almost all TV is annoying, people should turn it off and tune into slow-tv for a change.
Norwegnothingness 😴🙏🤣
That’s why I try not to read books, cause it gets u all thinkin and stuff
I don't think people absorbing their lives with nothing is a good thing
I found if I sit around and do nothing and allow nothing to get into me within several hours I have a piece in a call about me and I can think clearly and work through problems in my life much more effectively than the manic running around constantly distracted constantly offended iPhone crowd
@@viceroybear6298 that's why everybody is so stupid today, well the kids are, they never got to experience rolling around the floor bored out of their minds.
Is Doug more of a politican or more of a comedian??
Nothing going on = corporate rapery
I have seen da light!
Why, oh why, am I on UA-cam, where everybody but me is an idiot, and I'm compelled to argue with them?
It's insane! All that work, and I'm a wreck at the end of the day. And, people are so ungrateful for my efforts, I _still_ have less than 500 subscribers.
I'm gonna pull down my channel, and spend those hours contemplating my bellybutton instead.
I'm not doug stanhope and that's why I do drugs
Doug Stanhope? Hmm, I like him, he's OK but sometimes that's how I feel like: 'He's pushing it so hard to be edgy, why don't you watch some Bill Hicks instead, people?' That's all folks! :/
We should watch 20 year old comedy instead of this? Pfff fak off...
You're entitled to your opinion... And unfortunately that's not the point you idiotic troll!
***** You thumbed up your own comment? Why would you do that? You poor little guy. :(
I hope you some day will realise just how fucking stupid this comment is...
Hicks comedy is a lot more thought provoking than Dougs. They have 2 different kinds of comedy. Not all comedians are the same.
Leave it to ol' stanny to figure out how to take weak stand-up material and make it valid... by sitting down!