Doug Stanhope - Be Careful What You Wish For - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- After a bad breakup, Doug Stanhope's rebound relationship with a beautiful woman runs into an unexpected obstacle.
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CCsucks. I'll stream Tosh for free.
All kidding a side this man is brutal and funny. And I love brutal!
Ya he has the same head shape that's about it
Doug was not nearly as drunk as he should have been, very unprofessional.
Hahhaha so true for Doug
He's drinkin coffee in his latest special. Dougie boy sold out. Still love him though.
Talal Ahmed Doug probably has liver damage severely by now and has to slow down to save his life. Doug out drank and partied me by 20 years and I have a failing liver now on a downward spiral. I guess all the drinking and rampant drug use for 20 years caught up to me. but i do have good stories. Live fast die young. Difference is hopefully for Doug he can afford a liver transplant lol i can't. So life cut me off didn't have to sell out.
Jonathan Wright stop whining
lol
STOP
PUTTING
SPOILERS, PUNCHLINES, TAG LINES, ETC
AT THE
FRONT
OF THE
VIDEOS
You're ruining the comedic bits!
Stop doing this....it isn't necessary.
Jont Noneya pleeeeease i agree
I beg everyone to listen to this person!!!!
Is it too hard to forward the video manually?
@@zombiemachinery4868 That's what I started doing, but they shouldn't be doing that to begin with...
The story loses none of its funny because of that in fact I want to hear it even more. Hearing the punchline first means I really want to hear what crazy stuff lead up to that. The story is the funny here not the punchline, that is the end.
He looks like Michael Keaton's slightly drunk younger brother
Muffin Monster yes!!!!!!
slightly drunker lmao
Kane Garvey oh shut up
@@tdog1983-v6c ?
Kane Garvey I’m just playin!
The fact that hes Depp's closest friend is the coolest thing I know about Depp.
Bif Webster Johnny doesn’t own The Viper Room anymore
Actually.. Marilyn Manson is depps Best friend..
@Jack MeHoff
Are you trying to speak?
@Jack MeHoff let me guess, youre a "comedian" too? No wonder I never heard of you
@Jack MeHoff let me guess, youre a "comedian" too? No wonder I never heard of you
His audiobook for Digging up Mother is one of the most mind blowing things i have ever heard in my life!I listened to it over 2 days(its almost 13 hours long,well worth the money)at work..it had me laughing AND crying...its a strange light to see Doug in but also its the Doug you know and love.
His podcast is fucking great. It seems totally disjointed and confusing at first but once you get to know everyone and figure out wtf is going on. You get sucked in beyond belief.
@Josiah Alexander DeLeon : From the look of your list, it would seem you haven't really delved that far into the world of comedy...Its all mainstream ppl, who thru luck or talent, made it to movies...
@@Swindel67 he's razor sharp
audiobook? What are you Tom Segura?
Few people can make a room go, "Oh, shit!" like Stanhope. You gotta strap in and absorb the whole thing or he sounds like a rambling drunk, which he is, but it's also genius comedy. Once Renee vanished from the story and it was just Lorka, I knew something was coming. Dougie never fails to make an impression.
I dig the silence... Especially for this story. It doesn't need to be funny or anything... This is a pretty good story.
He's strategically pausing for laughter.... That's not coming.
GamerGamer yeah I’m on Comedy Central because of a good story not because I wanna fucking laugh.
For this particular story I guess I'd agree. I suppose thats why he put it in a book. Did you happen to buy it? Or did anyone else for that matter?
@douchemanextreme That is literally why you pay to see a stand up comic.
Doug has said that he doesn’t try to tell jokes now, he just says what he thinks and makes it funny. I don’t think he really even considers himself a comedian, but he’s still my favorite
Stanhope looks like a substitute teacher
Or a used car salesman.
Funny, because he's actually a Mayor.
Stanhope looks like my dad. True story.
Where did you go to school?
Having been a substitute, I'd wager the alcoholism is more in line with that job than the outfit.
Prince of Monaco. He dated Khrystyne Haje.
@2manysecrets because cheating on someone is no different from getting raped/etc....
r u incel bro?
Silly that they bleep it out but you can just read his lips.
@@heli0s2003 Gotta cover their legal bases. How could they have known there'd be so many lip readers watching?
@@magisterrleth3129 -- Uh, they posted the video on youtube. That's how.
@@swiftslick Whoosh. I'm saying this from a legal perspective. Of course they want you to read his lips, then you get the full story. But legally, all they had to do was bleep it.
STOP PUTTING THE JOKE IN THE PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ease up on the rules, pal
@Erasmus the blasphemous haha he meant in the preview clip before the episode starts, they always play the punchlines before it starts.
@@Chris-P It's UA-cam, skip ahead.
@@6plus6bar oh I know, was just explaining what the poster meant.
@@6plus6bar Yeah, and UA-cam is literally giving people the attention span of a toddler
Leave it to Stanhope to tell story about a moment that lasted a fraction of a second and is terrifying and make it hilarious and meaningful.
Doug Stanhope is the Tom Waits/Charles Bukowski of stand up comedy.
Fucking legend.
tag
the best
I love that he's not afraid of silence and long pauses and everyone is still hanging on every word. KILLER TERMITES!!!
I kinda lost him the entire 2nd half of the show, the whole part about Lorka, it seemed like he just doesn’t know what to say anymore. I’m happy that at least Lorka got hit by a car in the end, it helped him somehow finish the story.
He's still wearing the thrift store price tag on his jacket.
Blingin
That's is homage to Minnie Pearl.
He said once that he spent a lot of time & energy into putting those suits together. Can't figure out why I'm srarting to find them sexy. My father never wore one.
The answer to that is obvious: Doug Stanhope. The guy's got swagger like a god if he puts it on you bet your ass its getting worn hard.
That's the original tags, manufacturer's label! So bling the thing goes 'ting'.
12:40 "...and I don't know how to close the f*kking deal."
[Takes long drink to absolute silence]
Doug Stanhope is a master. An outright artist.
Sure.
My public library doesn`t have this book.
did you request that they get it? If you ask, perhaps they will. Or just buy the damn thing at a used book store.
D.E.B. B I will buy the damn thing at a bookstore, otherwise the Liberians we never talk to me again.
Rum Ham Stop typing when you're drunk, or perhaps you're really going to Liberia.
D.E.B. B Early morning typing is to blame. I spelled librarians wrong so the spell check gave me the closest thing to what I spelled, which was Liberians. Liberians come from the country Liberia. I thought it was odd to leave that in the sentence, given the context, so I left it. Incongruity is a form of hummus.
It's new. But you can ask the library to get it.
"He's the prince of Monaco."
@@AKdaJuiceGuy but cannes is located in france not far away from monaco and monaco it's a principality
@@AKdaJuiceGuy Monaco
I thought he said Prince of Bel-Air...
completely unrelated note, does anyone like racing? i hear MONACO is great.
When he said "All my friends," it reminded me of Bukowski in Barfly.
This. Is why people. Who like Doug. Are priceless.
Oh man this was so good , I give it 11 beers out of a case and 6 puffs outta joint
How big are we going to roll it? I can make some killer joints putting together like 5 papers lol.
I can make Origami type joints like the "Dragon puff"
checkurbrainfly Lets kick it haha
kick "it" you mean like a midget to make a field goal?
checkurbrainfly Where are you from? I guess growing up in Southern Cali' kick it is a normal word for me for lets hang out and smoke. It's legal to just go buy it at the store. Im 31... been smoking herb since i was 13. But your probably just trolling the shit out of me cause of been bar hopping and a lil tipsy
There is nobody like Stanhope.
Bill Hicks was close.
This slowburn routine is well worth the superb payoff at the end.
Started off slow but was killing by the end. Especially that ending. One of the best storytellers around
he actually looks a lot healthier here compared to old videos. less bloated. I think he's cut down on the drinking
no lol this would be him promoting his book tour, he was so fucked up doing this. him and Chad Shank spent a podcast putting together 2 weeks after this. Classic.
"We have a repertoire, we're talking..."
I could sit and listen to Stanhope tell stories all damn day.
The fact he openly admits this was improvised shows why he is in the top 5 comedians of all time
Elliot Brown where does he say this??
On his podcast
It's a story, of course it's off the cuff. Not a part of his act.
How does that show he's in the top 5? Saying it's improvised is more impressive than saying it's not whether it's a good or bad set. That's like saying, "the fact that a battle rapper admitted his battle rap was improvised shows he's in the top 5"....it just doesn't make sense.
Umm, it actually happened.
One of the most honest and sincere comedy sets EVER! Doug leaves his fucking heart on the stage. Couragious. Love ur work, Doug.
Ari..... pleeeeease stop ruining the joke with the sneak peak intro part!!! The intro videos are great, keep them up, but save the best part of the story for when its being told 5mins later.... ruined half the jokes before they started and these stories are gold!
Ari had nothing to do with it there's a technical team at Comedy Central and they edit this shit together
I always skip 40 60 seconds ahead when I start these
The fact that you think ari has anything to do with the editing is comical.
I actually like that they Tarantinoed it.
If the story is told badly the punchline will not be funny. Hearing the end first forces them to make the story telling an event. You do not think they decided on this format by accident do you? These guys know what they are doing. I will assume the paying audience got to hear the punchline last, or is this the format for the live show as well?
Story tellers for a thousand generations have been critical to human development. This man is a walking monument to that impossibly ancient tradition. Here is a human being who would be as important 200,000 years ago as he is today. Telling a tale, surrounded by people simply pleased to be in earshot. Sharing a mind. Excellent.
👍🏻👍🏻
Great to see Stanhope still sharp. Excellent stand-up.
I’ve been a fan for decades. Gotta say I didn’t think he’d be sharper at 2020 than 2010. His last special is HILARIOUS.
Doug is a living legend. I hope to see him live one day.
Saw him in chattanooga a few weeks ago, working on new material, as Doug does. He tore it up as usual, I had the table by the stage door. Got to shake his hand as he went off set. A very real cool guy. You guys are going to love the new material.
Scott Rackley Bro I was there too!
Maybe ill get to shake your hand some day as i got to make my way to Clarksville 😩
I met him a few years ago in Cardiff, he did a set and after me and a bunch of mates decided to go to a back alley bar only to see Doug sat at the table next to us, we spent the night getting shit faced with him and Bingo. Really cool dude
@@TheScottelias yeah, same here, after the set in chattanooga, he went to a bar he alluded to. Everyone who was savvy knew which bar it was. So here's Doug just being regular guy and never paid for a drink, think we pitched in for a limo and the bartender called it in to get him back to hotel. His driver had long called it quits, it was like 4am. Prolly why he likes chattown and keeps coming back, we take care of him.
Chatt town for life!!
Still my favorite This is Not Happening.
It says "Uncensored" but Doug finds a way to get censored.
i was about to give up but glad i didn't and you shouldn't either.
Second time I've watched this, and I still can't believe he just left us like that.. sometimes you let life shape art.
14 minutes not one joke yet still Doug had me entertained every second of it shows his comedic intellect. The ones who hate dirty comedy yet know the structure of jokes or story telling formats they cant denney his abilities
In this uncensored video Doug shows he's really good at making a high pitch mechanical bleep noise twice.
Prince of Monaco
@Chooch Chipperson true facts. Also RIP Norm
Doug is a legend. Just look at how Ari introduced him. He was almost flustered.
This was the best 14 min Shit I ever took.
Ryan from Copenhagen?
I'm taking a shit right now and I totally agree with you
I totally (hhnngg) agree.
7 years after first commenting on this video, and I'm still here.
Any long time fans of Stanhope may recall that he has a bit on one of his specials (I think it was a closing bit) where he describes how envious he is of the incident that happened at seaworld; where the trainer got dragged down into the tank by her hair and held there for 45 minutes, all whilst families with children looked on in shock. "It sounded like the perfect amount of horror meets irony" was, I think, the general gist of what he was getting at. I think he managed to encapsulate that vibe perfectly with this 15-minute story.
The man literally has it down to an art.
Lee Syatt laughing at 13:04
Probably the best one ever. He is a legend for a reason.
he's a cool dude, he gave me a thirty buck tip just for a few pizzas and was really nice
Only the great Doug Stanhope can tell a story with such a big build and such a contrastingly abrupt ending, and have it be satisfying, entertaining, dark, AND funny!
FUUUUUUCK yes. FINALLY they have Stanhope on here who is 1 of the most perfect ideal comics for this show & Drunk History! Got me a blunt ready for this. Doug is so epic!
Something tells me you have blunts ready for almost anything
@@DSPHistoricalSociety very true, but mainly for the great stuff I look forward to.
This bit put me to sleep. Anything not long winded and depressing with this guy?
doug stanhope the underground legend
He’s like a comedy assassin. Favorite comic hands down.
...above ground
Nah. I couldn't sit through ten minutes. It sounds like your washed up uncle's stories of greater days. His older shit was so much tighter, aggressive and more condensed. He's meandering as shit on this.
Just the energy in the room tells me this man is a legend.
Killer termites in the fuckin house
Stanhope will go down with the likes of Pryor and Carlin when the history books are written.
i love dougs shit so much i was wondering where the story was going but once it wrapped up i realize it was told perfectly
Khrystyne Haje was never an A-list celebrity. Not even close.
Fuck yes! Those who dislike, beware of termites.
It took me a while to figure out why this story got to me. In the mid 90s I was at a party. There was a really cute girl there from nowhere Kansas. She was visiting a cousin in Tulsa and even a naive 23 year old like me could tell she wanted to get laid baaaad.. I was doing pretty good chatting her up when this runty little guy I kind of knew named Jeff swooped in and got her. I left that party sick. Girls will never understand what it's like to have that 20 something do-or-die sex drive and not be able to close the deal like Stanhope is talking about in his story. Anyway, about a year later Jeff got killed in a car wreck.
his book is great btw.
Doyle Hodges really? I've asked my mum to get me it for Christmas
There's alot of even funnier stories in the book Digging Up Mother by Doug Stanhope. Available now
Wow, Stanhope is a master of his craft. One of the most underrated comics, one of the best storytellers.
I think he meant rapport, instead of repertoire.
Or repartee
He's slow to get into that one, but you've got to give it to him: That's a wicked Ralphie May impression at 11:40.
IT was spot on wasnt it? 😂😂
If it was a movie I would expect it to end like that but real life should of ended with someone being arrested.
quality over quantity with Doug . That ending punchline was amazing.
It's a comedic sin to put a spoiler at the start of these videos, you'd think Comedy Central would know better.
His Ralphie May impression is spot on!
Doug is the level of comic where his work just breaks your heart... breaks that heart into dust with the pain and the hurt.... but somehow makes you laugh. Laugh hard.
Stanhope is great... the fucking best. My favorite comic at the moment, but I think he is a bit off here.
The show's set up doesnt fit him. He pretty much just told a story while trying to be somewhat funny during it which doesnt go with him. If he wrote a bit around the story it would have been great.
hey why dont you keep writing how the show doesnt fit him
Probably because his current girlfriend Bingo is in a coma.
Chafomon i think this was well before that happened
Will smith ? or Ozzy Osborn ?
He looks so much better.
5:15 He says "So I'm" but it kinda sounds like "some" and is in the exact tone of All Star by Smash Mouth and I kinda freaked out a bit
yeah confirmed
One of the greatest story tellers of all time.
He kind of stutters a lot though? I like his unusual style but it's a bit too slow and repetitive.
Colonel, That's just because he's a raging alcoholic. This show is also different from the standard stand up comedy format. You can find a lot of his specials on youtube to get an impression.
he appeals to people with attention spans, that appreciate a slow build, and don't see a good call back as being repetitive.
Genius visionary revolutionary
He's not any more that's for sure. I couldn't make it 3 minutes.
thats the most romantic story from Doug I've ever heard
What happened with the girl!!!? 😶
she's dead.
read the book!
iirc they ended up dating later on
i think that was with her that he got an abortion too
shit. intense life...
he's making shit up, she died of a drug overdose after being impregnated by a homeless man
Exigentable this supposedly hot girl got pregnant by a homeless and died...? damn, she must've had some issues.
Always look both ways when crossing sunset kiddos
Learn to swim.
Is it me or that story sounded like it popped out of a Bukowski book? Fuckin brilliant
BlackSketchThingy Yep, definitely could be. That's why I enjoyed this. Some people are bitching about this not being very funny but I don't think it was supposed to be. Hearing Doug Stanhope tell a story exposing himself in a vulnerable and pathetic state was great.
some people lack attention spans. I hung on every word. I love his storytelling.
He said Prince of Persia: Jake Gyllenhaal. That's why he couldnt say it in his book because of how big the actor is.
aw man doug doesnt have high self esteem but he looked good when he was young. he had beautiful hair
Erik Rasmussen we all had beautiful hair when we were younger. We were all beautiful.
His name is Doug.
Who does?
I think besides how funny his storytelling is, his unabashed emotional frailty and vulnerability really connects him with with his audience...
YES. YOU NAILED IT.
He did a great job of advertising his book but making it into a bit lol
Doug Stanhope! The one and fucking only...
Khrystyne Haje is her name. In case anybody is curious.
does he look healthier or dead? I can't tell but it's one or the other.
His gut is blowing up, my guess is his liver is the size of a small child at this point.
i get what you mean. makeup or something
Stanhope is a treasure
The look of horror on their faces at the end hahahaha
Its crazy how some of the funniest ppl are so sad
I love Stanhope, but he needs to ditch the Sal Goodman suits!
you're crazy that's his schtick
The Prince of Monaco.
So who was the actress?
Khrystyne Haje
Seth Derrick Damn, thought it'd be somebody more A-list, but she actually was on People's 50 Most Beautiful and dated the Prince of Monaco so it checks out.
This is why I read youtube comments
redhead from head of the class.
the 90's were different beauty standards, not that she wasn't really pretty but it was much more girl next door wholesome hot then, she definitely had millions of dudes jacking it to her back in the day.
The little "teaser" at the start of all these is horrible editing. There's no need for that. you're showing a clip of Doug Stanhope etc, great comedians weaving a story together. This isn't Columbo, I wanna hear the punchline when it's time for the punchline.
he's a master of comedians, or a comedian's comedian, that shit, hes a fantastic storyteller
Such an inspiration. Stanhope has been Sober, Vegan, and Gluten Free for over 25 years now. Stay WOKE like StanHOPE!
Haha
that 360 degree shot circulating around the comic has to be such a waste of time and money. that story was awesome though
Felix Alvarez I think that's exactly why they do that shot..... it was the easiest, fastest, and cheapest intro shot they could do for each comedian while saving the little budget to blow all on the arri intros thought up by the director most of the time. Also how do you not dig that 360 shot... I thought it was a neat idea.
Hey.....what's the name of the book again?
The man is a national treasure.
Then god help you.
@@sunnyjim1355 he did, by giving us Stanhope.
@@sunnyjim1355 why do you have a downs patient sailboat captain for a pfp?
I didn't expect the story to end like that either 😂😂😂
The hottest woman I was with was great... but the rebound I had was a one time thing in Boston and it was like.... How did this happen? ahhahahaha It's almost like life saying hey.... she hurt you good? here you were good so you get this....one time. hahaha.
Jesus, he strugels to speak so much I feel he could star in "The Lady and the Champ"
I FOUGHT SUGAR RAY SO MANY TIMES I GOT DIABETES!
‘Strugels’...?
Nice English! Really brings together that rail on Doug! 10/10
lol is he saying the prince of monaco lolol
The redhead behind Doug is gorgeous!
I'm with you here.
The girl with dark lipstick is way hotter.
the scruffy guy rockin the flannel?
id hit it and let him buy me mcdonalds
That’s Steve Hofstetter, and I agree.
I'm into the blonde with the short hair.
The prince of Monaco, that is what my lip syncing skills tell me.