Dealing With Difficult & Annoying People
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- Опубліковано 6 бер 2016
- Difficult people show up in many different forms. We often have to deal with difficult & challenging people, which can lead to stress and anxiety, drastically affecting your mood.
Difficult people could be within our working environment, extended social circle, or even our own family! Some do all the talking, cutting people off and talking over others, never actually listening. Some are lazy, messy, or unreliable. And others just have to get the last word into every conversation. Difficult co-workers may constantly demean what you say and try to make you look bad, while striving for power and the boss’s attention. In this episode of Ratalyst, we look at the ways in which these difficult and challenging people can appear in our lives, and some effective strategies to try and understand what drives them, and attempt to diffuse or handle them in a positive manner.
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Just remember it's not you, it's them who have the problem.
Control freaks are everywhere these days. It shows they are broken people but bluff a tough exterior.
sometimes some people just need punch in the face
just ignore them
@@alinaderi3953 how? If that person keeps getting in your face and hogging all the conversations?
Correct only works dat why . Stupid n dumb ppl . 100% need punch good lesson
@@alinaderi3953 no punch in face
agreed
Self confidence is key
Keep your cool
Practise selfcontrol
Analyse objectively
Shift the focus on the difficult person by asking constructive questions: what is the solution?
Actively listen, listen to the word, nodding head, repeat what they said, ask questions.
Bodylanguage, arms open, eye contact
Tone of voice
Seperate the person from the subject
Become skilled in handling, what can learn from it
Put a little appropriate humor in
Manage to have empathy, compassion
Sometimes better can walk away if its a toxic environment for less stress
........
Or you can just tell them to get lost..
I try to stay away from difficult people as much as possible, however if it's a work situation I just try to deal with them, I try to count to a hundred in my head and take a deep breath.
Walk away every time is one way (they can't talk to them self is one wày) or if you want to piss them off, (wistle the Laurel and Hardy tune) it's telling them what you think ,,,,
I can't deal with people... everyone is angry all the time for no reason, and judge you for everything, but they don't expect to be judged themselves because they think their better than everyone else. I stay away from people.. their's no point in dealing with anyone their just going to try to ruin my day, and I don't need that.
And that's why I love Nature!!!✌️💗
@@shelll9254 Me too! I adore nature. I go to the woods or cemetery all the time to get away from everyone. It's better there..
It's good that you know how to be happy with yourself, but don't let them get to you, don't become like them ( rude or angry) . It's your life live happily with harmony. I wish you luck ❤️
I'm very very dangerous to bullies, they often underestimate me , and it becomes fun then, but the problem are critisisers and people who talk down and think they are smarter and know everything.
Waleed Akbar yes, they are often annoying
What is yr tips to deal with critisers...
true it's the most annoying thing when they think they know everything and often the ones who make the most mistakes but when they pick on your mistakes they make it look as though you have commited a great crime i hate double standards 😡
@@zainabmoledina8508 yeah
@@zainabmoledina8508 sounds like my annoyjng 15 year old sister
I got in a shouting match w/coworker yesterday and while I apologized later I didn't really mean it, it was more for keeping the peace. She is super-defensive and when I challenge something she says, she comes back twice as hard, even when wrong. It can be annoying to work with someone so insecure you have to walk on eggshells.
Most days I just let it go, it's not worth it but she pushed me on a stressful day and I didn't back down. I don't like that I lost my temper, but will hold that I was right, so be it.
This was very helpful vid to watch today!
I watched this video while sitting next to the person that made me search for this
I could literally beat anyone that bothers in my daily life but I don’t do it I feel like I should do it because some people just need a punch in the face
True though...i really want to but they will report like a kid..
@@kopiiseverything994 Yes through these suggested approached we always hear ,we know the true solution is to analyze them and confront the (repressed motive)guiding their behavior. Asking them irrefutable questions they can only respond truthfully to"What's the attitude all about ?Your psycho drama? Yea whats up with that?What are you mad at without provocation ? "If it's unprovoked ,it's you right? "etc.While realizing you dominate them like a hawk over a mouse because they have no insight or self reflection ,keep deducing back their behavior to it's initial cause, usually buried deep in the unconscious.Make them dig it up by mocking the excuse they give.(What does that have do with anything?What does that have to do with me?It's usually an inferiority complex or jealousy they are compensating for or transferring onto you as a host.If you don't get anything out of them and have to deal with them don't contribute to their frenemy ploy.They will use that as a shield. Establish that you vehemently don't like them and you are after them like a lion spotting a gazelle.Use them for sharpening your mind observing every flawed logic of what they say. 1+2 usually =4 with these types, to skip around their true motives.(rationalizers)It's always a casual apples to oranges thought process of mindlessness with them.Like stunted babies they don't understand their emotions and behaviors yet.These types are not cureable, it's a behavior ingrained from their formative years.So don't compromise with their excuses or feigned friendliness..It's their crutch they hit you with later.Let them know your analytical eye see's right through their ulterior motives.Battle their obnoxious with cold deduction as to why they act without reflection.It's always a form of projection they themselves have rationalized and minimized as something more respectable.As bad as it sounds the most effective solution is to just punch them in the face,they will leave you alone. But this usually involves a heavy fine.So just disarticulating their whole frame of logic is all you can really do.They are not in touch with reality objectively.Their behavior can only be rationalized and isn't defensible therefore it can be reduced into just infantile fits whether they admit to it or not.
@@sobek-re3761 yikes. appreciate the effort to give advice but .. dude your grammar is everywhere, i couldnt understand a thing you said.
@@AkaSuzukiOtakuDesu I think you're confusing grammar with vocabulary and terminology or something.You couldn't understand a word I said, seriously? Ohh kay.I'll take that as a compliment.I guess it was a little heavy, blunt and over articulated or something but I made it crystal clear.I don't know what you're talking about,read it again.Those kind of behaviors aren't easy to explain,everyone knows that.That's really the whole point.The mainstream,Wayne Dyer,passive approach may sell alot of books but ...Nahh it's not realistic.
It's my family members...I can I do this
Difficult people are difficult because we allow it. Stop unable them and they will be powerless.
Yeah!
Shallow statement like how do i " Stop unable them"
Yes
Enabling is a no no!
There is difficult, and then there is a narcissist. There is no dealing with them because they are constantly projecting their own deficiencies and low self-worth on to the world around them. Best thing to do is use the gray rock method which is to respond and not react and be as boring as possible to them. Keep your distance. Answer questions with yes or no. And ask closed ended questions. Whatever you do do not cross them. If you have any empathy for them at all it is to recognize that they are broken and under developed people themselves. They were either born that way or made that way. In both cases they are living a false self and they need you to help them keep up appearances. Look out when the mask slips.
Some times people are just MEAN! There is nothing you can do about that but to simply walk away and leave their own fire burn them down!
I recommend a book titiled "Creative Agression" dedicated to dealing with difficult people and situation and the psychological cause behind everything.
Thanks Mr Nobody, will have to check it out. Thanks for watching! :)
Will check it out myself
thanks. will look into it..
was it good?
Thanks buddy, according to my experiences difficult people works in group also they often have a well organized team and they are selective they select individual or their victims carefully.
I call them scammers. Watch out!!!
Criminally underrated channel! Keep going with this because I see this channel can go very far
Thanks very much, we sure are going to try!! :)
Ratalyst yay!
I had a neighbor who keeps on minding our own business makes me want to move out my apartment
I found learning about personality disorders to be very helpful dealing with toxic work places, especially when up managing people in higher positions than me. Consciously knowing when to turn off and stop taking on peoples depression, and learning how not to be a target to people with various disorders, consequently becoming invisible to them is key.
mikey777799 how did you manage to stop and turn off people when you have to work with them every other day?
looking buzzed out on something helps.
Smart!
When you understand why it makes it easier
I was forced to watch this by a difficult person ;)
Gant8065 me too bruh
Gant8065 HAHAHHA
🤣🤣
Me too but more difficult than you think
What else are you forced to do by this person?
The thing is living with them !
Exactly what I was looking for!
Thank you most kindly! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
You're most very welcome :)
i was just dealing with difficult people then i went for lunch and launch youtube, your video popped up out of the blue. What a mind reader!
Haha, yes it's all too common Fez :/
My entire family and myself are difficult. But this does help a lot thanks! :)
She's not difficult or annoying! I love her!! 😥
Really helped. There are some people that just don't seem to have any empathy whatsoever.
I can say AMEN for your knowledge and guidance,...VERY useful thank you for sharing
Thanks so much LEE, appreciate you watching. There'll be more videos coming soon!
This is great advice and just what I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for watching +Rebecca, and glad you got something out of it :)
This is amazing piece of information. Thank you so much for this.
When I was dealing with difficult would be customers who were raving on the phone,
I would leave the phone on the desk, carry on drinking coffee until they shouted,,,
ARE YOU THERE,
Then I would yes sorry what we're you saying,,
This is a good thing to do with foreign call centres
How do you not have more subs? The sheer quality and presentation in your videos is top notch!
Thanks so much Baselard! Probably because we put out some videos, and then had to have a break for a while :/ We will be back with hopefully a lot more videos over the next few months!
Sometimes, at my young age, I really confuse and always wonder why I have to stuck in circumstances in my life that I hate or the certain people that I've met are so manipulative, aggressive, mean and toxic that make me stressed out pretty much. But after watching this video, I stay calm and realize that those are challenges that just make me more mature and wiser. They've helped to reach another level of growth. I believe in God's Plan and my life really happens for me. Opstimiticsly, on one day, I will look back and will be much grateful for what I've been through!
Learn about narcissism and cluster B personality disorders and your life will become much more easy :)
I have a guy in my soocerteam that in practise Always yells to everyone (especially our coaches) how good his team is playing just to make himself and his team to look good and at the same time makes us look bad if we dont have focus at the moment
Thank you for all your words, positive uplifting :)
Thank you for your views Patricia!! :)
Thank you so much for this vid
so on msy volleyball team theres this one girl who shows off ("is this good?" clearly to show everyone how great she is. we do a drill where we line up, thee people go on the ten ft line, and pass to the coach , then go to the end of the line and the person at the front yells "gotcha!" and runs into paly. i have adhd and i zoned out. she pushed me and i was sexually abused so touching me, no no. also as i was yelling gotcha she yelled "you need to yell gotcha!" i have to deal with her all season (2 months). practice just started today. smh
So true, unfortunately these are the very people who have the duty to protect and promote your well being.
Humor works sometimes and it depends on the people.not everybody has a sense of humor and then some people especially narcissists or those with low self-esteem or some kind of a mental problem get easily offended. they think that you're attacking them, or everything is about them. so humor can only work in some situations
Thank you so much for this!! Subscribed. 😊🙂🙂
Thanks GE! Really appreciate it :)
Yeah this strategy works so long as the person you are engaged with is educated and not religious.
Always best to try and keep cool and calm and don’t let them get to you
Great video. I just turned 50 and being older gives you perspective. I now deal with certain situations 100% differently than a few decades ago. imo one of the best takeaways is the "walking away" tip. Sometimes like with difficult managers you just have to deal with them. I had a manger for 10+ yrs. who created a cringe-worthy experience every time I had to talk to her. One time she prefaced an email with "What's this I'm hearing"? I think though I figured out her situation - sometimes ppl are difficult due to factors like health issues, lack of home-training, or having a natural inclination for buggery. I've found simply avoiding annoying ppl as much as possible can do wonders. My approach is I can let an annoying situation go the first time - the "100th" time we're done forever. As the video mentioned - you'll just cause extra stress/angst dealing w/ such ppl. They might even mean well but life's difficult enough. I think one other takeaway from the video is considering how our words/actions might trigger different responses. I'm in SE Asia - I was at the market about a yr. ago and some rocket scientist asked me at 6am if I was Chinese. I tried to be cordial and explain I was in a hurry and didn't want to answer personal questions. The foogayzee went on to claim his peoples are "friendly." I walked away bc some ppl simply aren't worth your time.
It really helps me a lot. thank you 😘
i was angry? now i'm crying, thanks mom.
I'm the type of person who prefers to shut it down before it gets started , so i find getting away from the entire situation the wisest thing to do and at the same time they shall have no excuse if they keep coming after you
Great channel, man! Should be a million subs in no time if you keep this up.
Thanks SP! We sure hope so! :D We are working hard to get a heap of content flowing continuously! Thanks for your support.
Woah! , I love the way you present sulotions and techniques based on psychology and common sense. Glad I found this channel. ;)
Thanks Ronin, glad to see you here :)
You are awesome you made me confident now I am gonna face it
Most difficult people are family members. They never see themselves and their toxic behavior as wrong. They're to busy convincing themselves they're innocent.
Sounds like mother. Lol. A compulsive nagger
Helpful tips. Thanks for sharing 👍
Excellent Vid, I've been using some of these techniques for years now, but you've highlighted some new learnings for me, thank you.
Thanks so much for watching Dion! :)
This is really good stuff. Very helpful and practical.
This is a really useful video...thanks for sharing :-)
I am in customer service, owner of a company with 5 emplorees, there are few very difficult people each year , I always listen, care and explain to them, try to resolve their problem, however in the end I found out these people have some issues with their personal life, no matter how hard I tried, they were not happy.... Customer service is just a job like all other jobs, customer service does not mean we have to live in a life with no dignity , no quality, making people think they can use me or my employee to vent out, abusing us, I will be the one handle these situation as I feel I need to get in as company owner, i will do all we can to stay calm, we will stop to service or resolving the issue to that difficult person till they apologize for their attacking, abusing, customers are important, so are employees, life is too short to serve these people...furthermore it is not productive to serve these people, company or you person life will go down to hell with these people around you....
Zhiling Fu I love it what you said. God bless you. Wise words. Thank you !!!!!!!!
stumbled upon your videos
it's really helpful
keep it up!
Thanks you! We will keep it up indeed, some more videos are on the way :)
Excellent Video!!!
Your videos are on point. Keep up the good work!!🙋
Thanks Alicia, appreciate the kind words and support!
+Ratalyst You're welcome!
best vod ever
Nice videos - you are very clear and have a great radio voice. Interesting content, keep it up!
Thank Y@30. We will try to get more content up in a few weeks :)
What if my enemies use the same strategies?
What if they watched you watching this video
What if you watched them watch you while you were watching this video, and they recorded you watching the video while they were watching you?
Im so sorry
@@lordsasquatche8608 well I dont like to watch people I get enough problems of my own, but if i could watch them watching me watching this, I wouldn't need to watch this,
What do you mean your so sorry for?
Try and learn more strategies that they don't know so like that you get a unseen comeback
Turn off the north american continent power grid you need balls for that
Thanks for this vid
Thanks for watching :)
thank you for making this video :D
Thank you for watching it :)
Just draining daily at work and repetitive. Even when you think this person finally feels heard they start up again whenever they feel like it.
Great videos bro, subscribing right away! Don't give up, someday your channel and skills will be recognized - you have potential :)!
What a brilliant comment RfR! Thank you so much for the support, it's very encouraging :)
Wow, thankfully I'm not difficult or annoying. Neither do I know difficult or annoying people.
I'm at the stage where I'm drained physically by carrying a lazy colleague. We have a bailer at work, I might drop him in.
Thank you I really need this my step siblings are really annoying 👍
Trust me you are not alone I know that feeling
GOD is love. Love is powerful & can quench out fire.We are to pray for each other & love one another. We cant control or change people but with prayer..it is possible, coz some people cant be avoided in our lives & they are in front of us for a reason & for us to learn how to deal with them. But there are some toxic ones that we should discern to avoid at the very start, to prevent future conflict and disaster...learn to let go & pray for them to realize their mistakes if they cause you hurts & pains or anger. Learn to forgive right away for it is the start of your healing. The bible teachings has lots of secret wisdom & truth,but it is up for us to follow or not, for it is for our own good.
Superbly constructed information and videos...very effective and user-friendly.
Thanks so much Arthur, really appreciate your comment :)
I'm always in some of those situations but I never knew the behavior of me handling situations does exist in this such type of styles in this video lol
Kevin would love a Xolos dog for a Hell Hound.
Best video
Tq for the advice.
Very nice! I like your explanation.
Thank you Pradip :)
great video as always.. you deserve more subscribers than you actually have
Well we're glad you're one of them! Thanks for your support Haleema :)
useful. thanks
good one keep up work
Thanks Pradeep!
My father is difficult person, and i am obliged to live with him.
obliged ? then find a job rent a house or you are 12?
Same here my mother father complain me always no matter how good I try to be to them
Gabriel Rodrigues me too
Me too gabe
Gabriel Rodrigues me too. Mine is awful
3rd video and m liking it so fucking much please keep em coming and hope u grow big soon. ok but seriously I come across channels like these so fucking less need to find more , completely off topic but why is it that more than half of those really interesting and informative channels like yours are so underrated whereas so many other bullshit new age commentary channels making commentaries on random horse shit subjects or any other channel of same sort get so much attention on the other hand and hits in the recomendations so easily almost every time like I really feel youtube needs to screen out channels based on their productivity rather than just views and make some alterations in their recomendation algorithms so that all kinds of channels get exposure in justifiable proportion.
Thanks RD, we hope so too!
Hi Rigum!
Because their [new agers'] content appeal to and boost up people's egos.
I have two difficult roommates ,one is lazy ,and one constantly criticizes the other roommates in the house ,they constantly criticize the house manager, they need to be the center of attention 😑, the lazy roommate never wants to do chores yet they constantly eat, eat ,eat
someone in my household really thinks they know it all and they are absolutely difficult and annoying!!!!!!!!!! so stuck up.
thanks
Cool vid! Subscribed!
Thanks Rockha2! Glad to have you on board :)
My mom and dad are the most difficult people I have met in my entire life
Mine too
Finallyn someone else whonhas the same problem
I turn the volume up in the car with this one:)
I got 5 irritating sisters who constanlty say and do irrating things and i can not do anything about it since my mother has always treated them always better and my dad is gone and he used to be the person i always went to and now i cant so now i lock myslef in a room and i do not interact with anyone and when i try to communicate with my mom and sisters im always the bad guy in the situation
It’s easy to ignore annoying people, but when they hack into your electronics and force you to watch their temper tantrum’s and attacks even after deleting comments, it starts to become a bit much. Taking breaks are good, however if I had my way I would break their electronics if I had access to do so any chance I got.
im a dentist and somehow an irritating patient came in. he had treatment but he keeps on asking for discounts. the irritating part is he makes me feel guilty for charging him. It's as if he wants the service free. Everytime we meet he asks more and more discounts...how do you deal with this? Our clinic charges lower than the average dentist in our area so I don't think I'm the bad guy here. You give discounts and people get abusive. -.-
Came here because of people who don't value punctuality. Thanks!
I would like the narrator to state their Name as this is Mid- term paper. Loved it a lot.
;)
I deal with extremely annoying ppl on the daily this helps alot they dont realize they are which makes it even more annoying tho.
Just found your channel, great stuff! Surprised you haven't had a surge in subs? This is great stuff.
Noticed it's been 7 months since you released a video, everything okay?
Thanks for watching Jonathan :) We have had a surge in interest on our Introverts video, so the subscribers are picking up. Now that we know people are interested, we are working on quite a few more videos and should get them out real soon. Thanks again for you interest, really appreciated!
samexd
+Ratalyst great video, thank-you
I find all people are difficult one way or another.
Yep, I'm one of them.
If you ask "how do you think this should be done? and the difficult person says a bunch of stuff you cant do, what do you say then ?
Suggest a different approach that you CAN do? Stroke their ego and ask them to guide you on a few of the areas you're not clear on?
How do you recommend dealing with people that pick on you at work or friends that tell you to "shut up" or "you talk to much" ?
Sorry to hear you're in that situation Tony. We would recommend for people that pick on you at work, that you don't show them a reaction that you're affected by it. Essentially standing up to them in a non-confrontational manner, sy showing them that their actions don't hurt you. When people tell you to 'shut up', seems very confrontational, and you can either walk away, or tell them that everybody has a right to speak (of course giving them the opportunity to speak also).
If a friend tells you to shut up or you talk too much they are NOT your friend. Wake up to the fact. Not nice to realise but it will empower you to make friends with people who treat you as a friend and with respect.
Patrick D Unless they are joking about it and it’s something you both say to each other
If someone tells you to shut up tell em make me if they just get mad and don't do nothing you've won that confrontation
My worker, and my dad always say I don’t know or not caring to answer me , I’m feeling worthless I feel like that I screwed up feeling like everything is my fault i used to be a leader but not anymore I don’t feel like they like me as much as they used to
Sound advice and I love your videos because it is actually something productive that is out here on the internet. However, what I don't like about this method is that it requires you to be in control at ALL times while the difficult person is free to be as out of control as they would like to be. What if you don't have it in you that day? What if you have your own problems going on that you can't train another adult that day?
My point isn't to disagree with the video because these methods do work. I would just like for people to take a second to think about how much work another person has to do in order to just tolerate another person sometimes. Most difficult people don't think they're difficult people.
I totally agree, after a year of doing this keeping my control and not showing any upset of annoyance, I had to take stress leave. I am just back to work now only two days and their solution is mediation. Which in my opinion with a bully is just a licence for her to say and do what she wants to her victim and then they have to shake hands go back to work if they want to keep their income. Although I am about the 10th victim of hers and there is a pattern there. I have had this twice before and have moved on and now I will have to move on again. Some people just love the whole thing and to her mediation is her way of thinking she won because this has got to you. Bullies will always blame the other person and will never stop.
Great video here.Requesting to use your video for a training..Could inspire some behaviour change
Before I go to school my mom always tell me stay calm
Nice keep it