1. The willingness to be disliked is a superpower 2. You can't fundamentally change yourself or others 3. If you're not embarrassing yourself regularly, you're not trying hard enough 4. Most relationships are supposed to end, and that's okay 5. Your dreams are overrated 6. The only way to feel better about yourself is to do things worth feeling good about
I'm 26 and this video was honestly amazing. So tired of the same generic advice in all videos, finally something different and actually created by a human who thought a lot about it
Same here, same age. I so tried of contents on UA-cam like passion, dream, monk mode, be the 1% etc. Those sound good but don't quite applicable in real life.
This is what the Bible should be your primary form of worship, is dedicating your actions to Jesus, by living the He was he said and taking upon His values.
@@floydthephilosopher no. It's a valid motivation to discredit my opinion? Simply asking because if you have an argument I'm curious to know it. If it's just a way to discredit my opinion I'm not interested in the conversation
@@floydthephilosopher I agree with "self reflection is a key to maturity" and I also think that collectively accept different people opinions is key in life. About the second part, I think my self reflection is often excessive and I train it everyday, but still I can make mistakes. Anyway I also think that the main reason of the misunderstanding is: what I was trying to say is that pointing out that I didn't read any of Mark Manson's books isn't a valid point to counter my opinion. If you have other arguments I'm curious to hear them and I'm ready to have my opinion discredited. P. S. Forgive me if I made grammar mistakes. I'm not an English native speaker
My 20s were not exciting. I spent it being irrationally angry at every thing and every one. I'm 31 now and so far it's been a blast. I know better, I don't care what other people think about me, I have an open mind and am willing to learn from other people, not to close the door on my opinions for the sake of feeling like I'm right. I ask a lot of questions like a child because I want to learn and I'm not afraid of looking stupid. I learned that I'm in control of my own life, and I'm very careful about how I spend my time because I know we always have less time than we think. I got here by making a lot of mistakes in my 20s. But I resent the idea that once you're no longer in your 20s your life is over. No; it is just beginning. In your early 20s you are just a glorified teenager.
Comforting, thank you. You seem to be pretty stoic about it. I really resent that I was never able to be young and carefree. Didn't have relationships, didn't travel, nothing. I feel like Im socially stunted sometimes.
I met Mark back in the day (after his show in England during his Everything is F*cked tour.) He took the time to listen to everybody and answer their questions. He's genuinely one of the most humble and down to earth guys I've met. So happy for him and his recent success with his new movie!
Just a few minutes ago I was overwhelmed by how meaningless and hopeless life feels right now and then you posted this video and gave me a sliver of hope. Needed that.
I’m in my 50s and this video made me want to hop out of bed and crawl back in the bed at the same time. Find yourself, find your person, find your happiness and check in with all of them regularly.
Great video! I'm 29 and I'm proud of my crazy 20s. I explored numerous things and never tried to be liked. I won and lost in relationships. Went through family loss & existential crisis. I kept learning and compounding experiences. Recently, I moved from Morocco to Toronto and all the life skills I acquired are delivering excellent results in my new journey. My additional tip would be to stay the fuck off from social media. A part for business purposes, they are garbage.
@@pn78281 they absolutely do. And commenting once in a year doesn't make us sm slaves. Imo UA-cam is more a fantastic learning platform along with with LinkedIN than a social media. Except Whatssap for communication, I find the others do more harm than good to people in their 20s.
I'm 26, and I completely agree with everything you've said! Ever since I stopped using my personal accounts and started using social media solely for the goal of growing my business, I have grown so much more present and focused. I've been through so much during my 20s already, and the person I was at 20 years old is unrecognizable from who I am today, which I'm pretty damn proud of. W dirt l 3aks hhh- r7elt mn merikan l lmaghrib hadi 4 sniin. Btawfi9 m3a 7ayatik ljdida f Toronto w kantmana lik kol l khir akhoya
Man, I really wish I had stumbled on this video like 6-8 years ago, back when I was having a tough time figuring out my place in this crazy world. I used to devour heaps of posts and comments titled, "What I Wish I Knew in My 20s," hoping to sidestep any goof-ups. But instead of helping, they just made me more scared and I ended up getting tangled in all the stuff you said we shouldn't worry about. Your content, though, it's different. It feels real, not too pushy, and doesn't have that typical "self-help" vibe that's always trying to sell you some pie-in-the-sky dream, like becoming a millionaire, boss, hubby, or dad just by watching or reading something. Right now, I'm 30 and honestly, it's only been in the last two years that I've started to get my act together. So, it would be great if you made a video on what you wish you knew in your 30s :)
The "most relationships end" understanding is what I've used to talk several guys I know off the "I don't want to lose our friendship" ledge with the women they were into. My advice was "The friendship will change whether you tell her how you feel or not, but the only way to guarantee it's loss is to maintain your current course." A surprisingly large percentage of those friends have been happily married to the women in question for a decade or more.
Don't make my mistake: don't ty to do everything and be everyone. Just find something that makes you happy (cooking, gardening...) and do it for fun, and you will make huge success on the long term.
sounds like settling to me. It's like telling a buddy metaphorically, no I have no interest in sitting courtside next Jack Nicholson to watch a Laker Game. I will just sit home in my shed with a hot cococa and surf the nba on IG. Yep nobody cares if you do that BUT YOU DO. Stop making excuses and DEMAND the best. When dining flat out ask the waiter what is the best dish in this place? the one HE would order if $$$ was no issue? then order that. Time doesn't care what it gets spent on, that's your job.
Number 5 hits home. I moved to San Diego this year to chase my dream job- a coding job by the beach. Only to get laid off in the tech recession. I love the city but the job market is nowhere near as good as I expected and the culture is far different than the one I’m used to in NYC. It’s been a disillusioning few months. But I’ve slowly warmed up to the idea of going back east and finally living in the city- both for job opportunity and fun. I’ll miss the weather in San Diego. And I could always come back. But only now I’m realizing that this city was a dream- and now that I’ve lived the reality, it’s not the same as what I created in my head; it has its flaws too. Time will tell how things go. But I’ve definitely warmed up to NYC and am getting excited again.
It’s a tough choice. NYC is better for career, culture (direct/straightforward communication), diversity, nightlife. SD is better for weather, access to nature, laidback lifestyle, and bit cheaper. Maybe I’ll be back to SD. But NYC seems to make more sense for now.
I recommend to find your values as early as possible. For example, I partied and made friends most of my twenties. I hardly put energy in my career. Took me more than 7 years to finish my bachelor. When I think about it, I wish I would've spent more time studying, which would've been helpful for my career. But on the other hand, I learned to get a long with all kinds of folks. It's easy to approach people and hold long conversations. So what I'm saying is. If you aiming for being a social person, or technical person, business person, sportive person and so on. Put in your time in the twenties and you will turn out that way eventually. But you need to know what you want, and don't just copy others. Put in the thoughts and feelings for yourself
As much life advice for 20s that goes around, I also feel like it was necessary to go through the pain as long as your are self-aware enough to reflect on the consequences and outcomes. If you're in your 20s, just know people in power tend to trust you more in your 30s and 40s simply because you're older, and opportunity will present itself with half the effort of a 20 yr old.
I'm currently in my 20s, navigating through life as any young adult would. This world can be quite crazy sometimes, but I guess that's the beauty of life. You don't have to have everything figured out right away, and that's perfectly okay.
If the world is crazy, I don't believe that there is any beauty in it. I think it's always more wrong than you can think and nothing would make it better in any case. There should be never any demands for people to have things figured our right away, you should always allow all time to them.
I love what you said about change. My biggest lesson was that the only sustainable change is the one that forces us to find a way to lean into ourselves and our instincts in a new way, instead of trying to force ourselves to be something we’re just not. Willpower will only get anyone so far.
5 hits the hardest. The ability to recognise and admit that the "dream" won't happen and find another dream ASAP. I wish I had done that without wasting years of my life. In hindsight I feel stupid.
"I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor. As the music dies, something in your eyes. Calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes. I'm never gonna dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool, should've known better than to cheat a friend and waste a gift that I've been given. So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with youuuuu..." Thanks for putting Careless Whisper in my head! It's a masterpiece of a song!
This is so good, I’ve been going out on dates with a girl and was really anxious it wouldn’t turn into a relationship. We ended up not working out and I was very upset. Just need to relax and realize that most relationships won’t last forever and that’s okay
Omg same here 😭 I thought he was the man of my dreams but he might go back to his ex now and its so frustrating to see him doing this mistake. But it ties into the advice of not trying to change people. If they werent the right person they just werent the right person, even if its hard to accept sometimes
Main thing I did was to disassociate from manipulating friends and family. I didn't even realize why I didn't want to be around these people anymore , until I started reading other people's experiences. I've always been the one they called when they needed money or advice or drove them around like their taxi. So now I've heard about the negative comments after I choose not to participate in certain things and I know I made the right decision and it only encourages me more to remain true to myself . My only regret is, I wish I had done this much sooner.
1. Become completely unaffected by others' opinions of you. Like they don't matter at all. 2. Accept yourself and become comfortable with being exactly who you are. 3. Take as many risks as you want and be fearless in the pursuit of your goals. It's now or never. 4. Most relationships end, last a short time and don't matter as much as you want them to. Don't force anything to last longer than it should. 5. Hold onto your dreams, but lightly not tightly. So that you can change them when you need to (and you will need to). 6. Stop trying to find happiness in things. Start trying to find happiness in your actions. Don't find good things, do good things.
I'm turning 19 this year and I found this video very helpful. Thank you, man! Speaking of relationships and friendships - I was thinking of it as if it were a radio where you try to catch the frequency of the station you need. So that kinda can work with people - if you don't synchronize your frequencies, anything can go wrong
Advice number 6 really does change lives, I started training for a triathlon on a whim even though I’d never been into endurance sports. And as time went on I noticed I had a lot more motivation for other things in life and even started setting goals (sounds basic but I never thought of myself as a goal achieved :P). What’s more I started being more confident when speaking with others, even girls lol. Anyway those are just my 2 cents, great video!
Perfect timing Mark! Turning 20 in the next 13 days and you got me on point! Well i tell you I'll have something really remarkable to show for in my 30s.
I've done most of these, and I'm pretty okay. All of my emotional problems stem from me ignoring feelings most of my life until my father died, and I was forced to confront them.
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN, MARK!! Never give a shit about embarrassing yourself in front of people, they'll inevitably forget about it in the near future anyway, and they're too busy focusing on themselves and their *own* embarrassing moments to be paying attention to *you* in the first place. Success sprouts *from* failure and embarrassment; if you never fail or make an ass out of yourself once-in-a-while, you're doing something wrong!
Regarding point 5 I wanna add: 8:17 Make your dream not just an end result - make it a process, or design it as a process. Imagine what an average day or an average week for you should look like. What makes you happy? Being the inventor of some piece of software, getting rich and being called a genius? Or do you do it because the pocess of developing software itself is in your nature? Maybe you just like the experience of coding away at night and success big or small is merely a sideeffect. The points in life when you "reach success" are but fleeting moments, but many years are typically spent building up to that moment, consider how those years of chasing after a goal can make you happy. You get it, the journey is the goal and all that.
One important edit: Value Growth, not Change. Often we ask people to change in our relationship, when often growth is needed (probably in both sides). Your significant other will probably always do that annoying thing, but they most certainly can learn how it affects you and how they can better manage the situation in the future.
Lady advice is golden...i have noticed everytime i prioritize and do the wrong things like watching an extra episode that turns into a whole night/day of binge watching instead of going to the gym or studying i feel worse and worse about myself
Also, to add onto this, try and find new angles for your dreams. For example, if you want to be a musician but now work in advertising, research ways to incorporate those skills into what you do now. It can make you a more valuable asset and assist in coming to terms with your new reality. That’s my direct example. I wrote songs for years and never broke through, but my ability to write catchy ad copy helps me excel in my career. I am still trying to figure out the ad jingle aspect though. Shoutout to the Burger King Whopper guys 😂
I “missed out” on my twenties by being in a relationship, we spent all our time together and never really experienced alit of things that I think would have been good to experience. We were too comfortable with just letting time slip away and didn’t realize how much we isolated ourselves from the world. We stayed together for ten years. I’m now 30, single and feel like I don’t understand the world. I don’t regret our time together. We’re good friends and I have grown a lot since the break up, but it left me feeling extremely lost. Some of what you’ve brought up here is helping me understand how to deal with things from a healthier perspective.
IMO you are right that a lot of people in their 20s are pursuiting wrong relationship partner, but more and more people are also leaving too quick. First fight, first scary thing and people go away. After all you don't need to force things but you must take the 'trial period' of relationship, try to take care of it, put the effort to understand the other with a good deep conversations and see if both of you have the same honest direction for life. PS: That's what she(my wife) said.
I think actually the first step toward not caring is actually admitting that deep down inside of you there is some of part that wants to care, in other words, you don't fulheartedly want to not care. When you accept that you have tendencies to care, it's easier to accept your own struggle with it.
OMG, seriously, this video was mind-blowing! As a 22-year-old, I'm so tired of all those basic advice videos. But this one? It's like a breath of fresh air! Finally, something different, you know? It's like a real human actually put thought into it. And those genuine photos they included? So cool! This video was hella interesting and spoke the truth. Props to the creator for keeping it real!
I'm 22 and watching this video makes me feel like I'm in my 30's. All these things I have been practicing for years. It is kind of lonely though because I do not get along with people my age. I get along with the old timers 😂
Girl me too, I notice that most people my age strongly dislike me, guys especially. It doesn't really bother me, and I actually like to tease the ones that really try to make it known that they dislike me. Keep doing what you're doing, I like your style.
"It isn't changing its the ability to adapt and be comfortable to yourself" I kinda get this, I have an addiction that I'm struggling for many years and being comfortable with it eases my life, struggling with my addiction and fighting with it is not helping me but being comfortable with it erases my addiction.
The beauty of living a long life is having more time to try things. The ones that strike early success stand out but maybe they do because they're an anomaly. You can't compare yourself to others
- Kemauan untuk tidak disukai adalah kekuatan luar biasa: Terimalah perbedaan dan disetujui ketidaksetujuan untuk menjalani hidup yang bermakna dan mengejar kesuksesan yang mungkin dihindari orang lain. - Anda tidak dapat mengubah diri sendiri atau orang lain secara mendasar: Alih-alih mencari perubahan drastis, fokuslah pada adaptasi dan menjadi nyaman dengan siapa Anda, terutama dalam hubungan. - Rasa malu adalah tanda usaha keras: Ambil risiko di usia 20-an tanpa takut akan rasa malu; ini adalah waktu optimal untuk usaha besar dalam hidup dengan biaya kegagalan yang rendah. - Sebagian besar hubungan seharusnya berakhir: Kenali bahwa hubungan melayani tujuan tertentu, dan sehat bagi banyak hubungan untuk datang dan pergi; hindari memaksakan hubungan. - Mimpi terlalu dihargai: Pegang mimpi dengan ringan, memahami bahwa mereka mungkin tidak menjamin kebahagiaan seumur hidup; fokus pada melakukan hal-hal yang membawa kepuasan yang sejati.
I love your videos and think you have so much knowledge to share! Thank you for doing what you do. I did have one thing I wanted to share. I don't fully agree with number 2. I used to have crippling depression, and through years of digging through my trauma and working on myself, I do not have depression anymore. I still believe that any change is possible that someone wants to make. It probably won't change quickly but it's possible!
I think u got smth wrong: If youre depressed, your not really yourself anymore, more likely u will be the sickness. As someone who suffered from heavy depression for many years I guess I know a little how it feels, and at some Point you cannot control your thoughts and feelings anymore. So, getting out of depression doesnt mean youre changing yourself, it rather means u become more of yourself again. Big difference :) But I definitely agree that one can get out of depression.
@@SuperInfection_Jay in the video, when Mark was talking about not being able to change some things about yourself, he showed Jim Carrey with the label of depression. So what I got from that was he was basically saying that is a character trait that cannot be changed. So that is why I addressed that I think you can change anything about yourself.
God, you know after being stuck in the same cycle of 'I'm going to fix my life' and 'Why am I still depressed', I'm hoping this actually gives me some clarity. It also reaffirms to me that my best wishes for myself are kind of reflected in this video. I do want to take more risks and move away and pursue crazy ambitions. This video grounds me but also inspires me.
I am 32 and I am struggling with everything you mentoined, except embarassing myself. I am constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and it is excruciating but so worth it. That being said, I am noticing I was following most of the tenants when I was in my 20s though. I didn't care what people thought of me and I was doing enjoyable things. Now, I am struggling with pretty much everything. Does that mean I am doomed? By the way, now please make the same video for our 30s!!! 🤗
Something I started this year (Im 37) is writting a book titled "Notes to my Sons". My intent is to gather wisdom from my experiences, and the experiences of others, and collect them in one book for my sons to read. This is a "good action with good intent". As you say.
i loved the hair part, i actually related a lot cause i've been growing my hair for like 2 years now, it's something i've never done before, im 23 and i never had long hair, the reason behing deciding to let it grow was to challenge myself and help cultivate and grow my crippling self esteem, news flash, it's working, slowly, but its helping. it's one of the best decisions ive made in a while and i cant wait for my hair to get even bigger and more "luscious" XD.
I wan to say, that, this video is legendary! I just feel lighter and less anxious now. You dropped a huge weight off my shoulders! Thanks a lot -mid 20's
I don't know if Mark edits his own videos or if hired an editor. If he did hired someone, please tell that person that they're amazing! So funny! (Yet insightful)
I wish you'd been around in my 20s to offer this advice... Actually, in my 20s I probably wouldn't have taken any notice. At that time, I had a normal life and I was happy with it. It was in my 30s when everything fell to pieces and I would have needed this, but I had to learn it for myself. I'm glad you're there for others who are going through that shit now.
Hey mark, your videos really helped me in my life, i am becoming a good person day by day, but there is one thing that i am not able to get rid of and its "OVERTHINKING". I overthink a lot, plz make a video on this topic 🙏
Unfortunately being disliked absolutely crushes me and send me into a spiral of self hatred and “what’s wrong with me?” “Why am I so unlikable?” then I cry
Some of the most common cliches nowadays: 1. Just follow your dreams and never give up 2. Vulnerability is your superpower 3. You should aim to fail (romanticizing failure A LOT) Thank you for debunking all of these myths!
Or that 4. burnout is a virtue for success. 5. It’s never too late to pursue your dreams 6. Women need to and can do it all, career and family. (I’m a female.)
@@Dream_soul26 Number six is a myth. My point is you can be a master mother, or you can be a master career person, but you probably can’t do both masterfully at the same time. The input and work involved in proper child rearing is mostly a full-time job. To be a fabulous lawyer, or a fabulous dentist is mostly a full-time job.
@@TenTenJ I get your point. That’s why I wish there would be acceptance (socially) towards not doing it all alone. Especially when it comes to mothers/women in general. I wish we could normalize having help with your kids (either grandparents or nannies etc helping, not expecting always the mother to do the home duties all alone or most of them etc). We praise so much women who ‘do it all’ cause yes, most of them don’t have a choice but to do it all BUT we shame those women who are open about accepting and needing and, yes, WANTING help so that they can develop a full life: career, family, relatiinships. It’s human to want it all but it’s also human to want and need help with it all. Ad it goes both ways, wether you’re a man or a woman. Novody can do it all alone. In this situation we have the same problem: we romanticize the concept of ‘family’ and ‘motherhood’ A LOT. That’s why people always wanna hear how the woman ‘does it all’ ‘always finds a way’ etc. I wish we would be more REAL about it.
@@ioanafilipescu2327 well, in many parts of the world, it is acceptable to need and ask for help. In older days, women spent time together and helped eachother do their work, in a normal community, say one person did more than their share of the cooking and the other did more than their share of the cleaning, etc. Children weren’t coddled, now parents are taxi drivers for their kids to every extracurricular thing they put their eyes on. I’m not saying progress is bad, but it sometimes comes at the cost of our meaning and purpose.
At 30 usually people are obsessed by relationships But Mission and career or business, investments, learning are easier from 30 to 40 or even earlier Try as many things as possible, like dancing and etc Prioritize all self - ...s and understand your philosophy and what a circle of life is for you. At your 40 you would want to be already Someone and you would regret if you are not. After that you become yourself fully, trying not to lose, but to multiple everything and just to love life, health and to enjoy yourself and grow with the epoch
Dude you're spitting some of the best life wisdom ever. Stop caring about the amount of subscribers or people's reactions. Things and people have value in themselves.
One of the most life changing advices I've had was when I was in London and struggling with work and life in my early twenties. My boss called me and we were chatting why I was struggling with work and everything. In the middle of my breakdown he said 'honestly, nobody cares for you. Nobody can go outside for you or make you feel better, the only person who can do that and care for you is yourself' Harsh but unbelievably true
Disability got me to figure all this out by the time I was about 19. My eldest is 20 and I'm gonna be rewatching this with him and the 17 year old secondborn. Thanks for being a virtual uncle who likely will never know my family exists, your efforts are helping keep my level of overwhelm a bit lower and I appreciate you.
My advice : don't get into an abusive relationship with a man child for a decade. Problem with #1 - being disliked/doing things he didn't approve of / thought would embaress him would lead to hours of yelectures (yelling lectures), or threats of physical abuse..... so yeah. Some of your advice would have gotten me threatened with being put in the cemetery across the road... and maybe actually being hurt
Thank you so much for this video Mark! Your videos really help changing my life, and not just because I am watching them, but I am taking action, I am doing what I need to do. I am so happy to see that I am only 18 years old and I do most of those things already or that I knew about them. Not even in my 20s, and I was already feeling those ideas and tips you talked about in this video. Glad to see I was right all along, and that I am doing the right things before even age 20. Thank you very much!!!
I hear you, but you can't get caught up on it. Trust me it will make you more miserable. I am 32, its not over. If anything you are wiser now and can take action. There are losers in there 30's, 40's, 50's that still don't have any understanding of this. Age is just a number its what you do with your time that counts.
You are still young! Don't beat yourself up for the things you don't know. I'm in my 50s and still learning, still not a finished product and never will be.
Great video! In your 20's the following are not mistakes but issues in your life you should be striving toward and hopefully answering. 1. Career- You should know what you are good at and what field to dedicate your future to. Real estate should be a part of your wealth building goal. 2. Mate- For a man you should have had long relationship by this point and for a women should by now identify the mate you want to marry. 3. Lifestyle- Especially for a man, you should know how to take care of yourself with correct grooming, clothing style, a clean home, a respectable car and how to cook for yourself. 4. Health- your body should be in good shape and you should never be getting drunk or high on drugs. You view your body as a sacred temple and you avoid fast food/junk food. 5. Relationships- You should have a close entourage of friends, including some of the opposite sex. You should be respected and have great manners/etiquette. You should also be on excellent terms with your parents and siblings. 6. Hobbies- there should be more to you than just work. Hopefully you are a part of group, sports team, club or some extracurricular activity. If you know how to play a musical instrument this is ideal. 7. Spirituality- Hopefully you are part of some religious group and know how to pray. Meditation is also good. 8. Time management- You guard your time extremely well and do not waste it on video games, sports watching, streaming binge-watching, low-quality friends/activities, porn, social media and other meaningless time dumps. You also plan your days in advance using a calendar and review your daily activity each night. 9. Improving each day- hopefully you are improving your life each day with good friends, UA-cam videos, promising activities and productive thoughts.
People still have no idea that he will be remembered as one of the greatest minds of 21st century in philosophy with amazing ideas (except for quitting alcohol) Thanks for everything MM!
Having struggled with alcohol most of my life, his video on quitting alcohol was one of his most inspiring. Proud to say that I havn't touched a glass of whiskey or even a beer since I saw it. So you can say what you want, to some people it has made an impact, and he seemed to have increased life quality spawned from that decision, so in my ranking of Mansons amazing ideas, him quitting alcohol ranks pretty f*ckin high.
I am happy that I pursued the college degree that I wanted while working full-time, kept my distance from the people who didn't matter to me, or did not care about what others thought of me, and ended a toxic relationship (all in my 20s). I am 30 years old now and life has never been better.
I'm 20 yrs old, I really needed this advice & I'm struggling a lot with life. Everything is fucked up My Key take is "Stop looking for happiness in things you have and start looking in the things you do" Thanks Mark bhai♥️
7:30 I think you should totally follow what your dream is. :) I am an airline pilot for over 5 years now, had to do flightschool for almost 3 years prior and before that I almost not make it through school and had many years where i had no idea what to do with me until my dreams kicked in again and i persuied it. Then I ended up being the best in my classes in flight school and also the type ratings (Boeing 737 with my first operator and now Airbus A320). So in my opinion: there is a looot of shit going on in live, I almost lost everything due to covid and the industries break down... I even was jobles for a month and the sadest time was not knowing whats going to come tomorrow and how to pay the bills but I worked my ass off to be the person they wanted me to be in the tests and just being me, they wanted me in the interview. So my advice is to work your way to success (Whatever it is for you), get character and be nice and kind and helpful, because sometimes when you need help yourself, a good friend or person will remember that you helped them once and might give you a hint where to apply for a job etc. Grüße :) Btw yes I am soooo damn happy now again to be flying and having the lifestyle I want
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever,hoping to retire next year... Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life.
I agree with you and believe that the secret to financial stability is having the right investment ideas to enable you earn more money, I don't know who agrees with me but either way I recommend real estate or crypto and stocks.
trading is easier with proper guidance, especially from a professional, Newbies who are not aware of how crypto truly works and wish to make profits from it, I would advise to invest with a professional like Fergus waylen, It helps secure and minimize the possibilities of losses.
"Improving your life is less about completely changing yourself and more about adapting and becoming comfortable with who you already are" Ohhh this line ❤
Saying you will never not struggle with addiction is not my experience. Having been “sober” for over 30 years and having quit smoking for over 20 years. I have to say it’s just not an issue anymore. I’ve outgrown it ,don’t miss it. Don’t fear it don’t think about it. Don’t get caught in a self fulfilling prophecy loop .🖖🏻
Thank you ❤ Regardless of what you believe in, I just asked my higher power to send me a message and as I scrolled this found me. I’m 27. I was depressed the first few years of my 20s I spent depressed, the next few I cleaned up the messes I made when I was sick. I’m literally packing up and moving across the country this month. This is my last week at this location of my job and I’ve been here since I was 18. I’m not even from North Carolina. I’m from California originally! I’ve been here almost 10 years and I *never* liked it. Well now I’m doing something about it! This week I keep saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” with a giggle and now I think negative thoughts are trying to come in, but they can’t really get through because I’ve done the work. Honestly, I don’t know what is going to happen next, but for once I’m excited to see and I’m documenting everything!!
"I don't know what will happen next"... really internalise that and hold onto that feeling, because that's what makes you feel alive. Having days where you know what the next one will bring, and what you'll and who you'll speak too just breeds boredom and a wonder of what this is all about. But having an edge of uncertainty will give you the right amount of edge to starting feeling alive again, all the best with it!
I'm 18 rn, these videos of mark is giving me a total different perspective and things are going to get real and wild and funny to be looked upon from a distant future.
Discovering your UA-cam channel coincidentally after finishing "The Subtle Art.." is the best complement I can reward myself with for finishing a life changing book. You're a role model, and I hope you have an idea how much of an impact you're making on people's lives. I wish you all the success ever to wish for and I hope you never stop pursuing your endeavor Mark. Good luck in everything you're doing mate.
The best part about this video is that it is relevant for anyone in their 30s, 40s or 50s too! All these points are relevant, irrespective of your age!! ❤❤
Mark I know everyone tells you you’ve changed their life, but seriously I reference “how to not give a fuck” all the time. It made me realize that I was wasting time on trying to be a famous artist/musician. And now in a depressing “I gave up on my dreams” way, but I accepted that line you said in your book about yourself - I just didn’t have enough passion to do the shitty stuff that others do to make a livelihood off it. And I didn’t care enough to be a paid musician doing random gigs around town, I just wanted to be on the big stages and having the fun. After a couple years of getting serious and trying to widdle down the various ideas I had for careers I’d enjoy, I’m in school for real estate now. I know that to honor my unique self I needed a job that gave me flexibility and independence, and didn’t require a degree. I’ll always do my music and art and if for some reason it gets picked up one day, great, but that’s not what I’m striving for anymore.
I would say some of this video pushes shallow ideas or philosophy with confidence. If people don’t like you then there is a reason. If you ignore why people don’t like you, you will suffer, whether emotionally or in business. Unless they’re bullies, don’t give people reasons to dislike you. Be mindful of your behaviors and learn to be liked by many, while ignoring mindless haters, for they are beneath you. To be liked by many is to be powerful and to be cared for by many.
1. The willingness to be disliked is a superpower
2. You can't fundamentally change yourself or others
3. If you're not embarrassing yourself regularly, you're not trying hard enough
4. Most relationships are supposed to end, and that's okay
5. Your dreams are overrated
6. The only way to feel better about yourself is to do things worth feeling good about
I appreciate this channel a lot but I also appreciate you saving me 10 minutes
You were right on it! Thanks!
Thank you!
@gman046 He elaborates on them more and you'd probably retain the information better If you watched the whole video
Thanks for saving me a video.
I'm 26 and this video was honestly amazing. So tired of the same generic advice in all videos, finally something different and actually created by a human who thought a lot about it
Same here, same age. I so tried of contents on UA-cam like passion, dream, monk mode, be the 1% etc. Those sound good but don't quite applicable in real life.
26, you are in your prime. Do yourself a favor and start studying the stuff this man talks about and start doing it.
@@themacocko6311 and you do us all a favor and never say again someone is in his prime just by judging his age, thank you
But what to study? How to study? What will get me a good job with a good salary? There are many questions..
@joseignacioctm6455
Had a bad day huh?
9:39 "Stop looking for Happiness in the things you have, instead, look for them in the things you do"
you beat me to it
This is what the Bible should be your primary form of worship, is dedicating your actions to Jesus, by living the He was he said and taking upon His values.
@@floydthephilosopher or simply ignore religion and just be a person with good values and virtues
@@floydthephilosopher no. It's a valid motivation to discredit my opinion? Simply asking because if you have an argument I'm curious to know it. If it's just a way to discredit my opinion I'm not interested in the conversation
@@floydthephilosopher I agree with "self reflection is a key to maturity" and I also think that collectively accept different people opinions is key in life. About the second part, I think my self reflection is often excessive and I train it everyday, but still I can make mistakes. Anyway I also think that the main reason of the misunderstanding is: what I was trying to say is that pointing out that I didn't read any of Mark Manson's books isn't a valid point to counter my opinion. If you have other arguments I'm curious to hear them and I'm ready to have my opinion discredited.
P. S. Forgive me if I made grammar mistakes. I'm not an English native speaker
Mark Manson is like the Big Brother that I never had... Legend!
He is my friend.....
My brother is nothing like him
Agreed 🤝
He’s more like a step bro
Can’t agree more, and the saddest part is, I have an older brother
My 20s were not exciting. I spent it being irrationally angry at every thing and every one. I'm 31 now and so far it's been a blast. I know better, I don't care what other people think about me, I have an open mind and am willing to learn from other people, not to close the door on my opinions for the sake of feeling like I'm right. I ask a lot of questions like a child because I want to learn and I'm not afraid of looking stupid. I learned that I'm in control of my own life, and I'm very careful about how I spend my time because I know we always have less time than we think.
I got here by making a lot of mistakes in my 20s. But I resent the idea that once you're no longer in your 20s your life is over. No; it is just beginning. In your early 20s you are just a glorified teenager.
Welcome onboard! Same here :)
Comforting, thank you. You seem to be pretty stoic about it. I really resent that I was never able to be young and carefree. Didn't have relationships, didn't travel, nothing. I feel like Im socially stunted sometimes.
That made my night. Thank you for sharing
I wish I could see that, unfortunately my life is falling apart and I'm in my mid 30s
Same here!! 👏🏽
Lots of adults need to hear this, not just in their 20s. My biggest mental health wins in my 30s could probably be boiled down to these points.
So true. That's exactly what I was thinking wrt being in my 30s.
I'm 30 now dealing with terrible low self esteem and social anxiety can any body help me ?
Same 😀
@@cinderling5472 I don't know how to beat it I'm sturggling so much . Can we talk ?
@@mindhalo love it man is it chat gpt advice ? 😀 Btw thanks for th advise you also had anxiety can I talk to you ?
I met Mark back in the day (after his show in England during his Everything is F*cked tour.) He took the time to listen to everybody and answer their questions. He's genuinely one of the most humble and down to earth guys I've met. So happy for him and his recent success with his new movie!
Yo... he's on Netflix?
@@eleh1337 maybe he is in England. He's not on my Netflix in the US.
@@eleh1337 I'm not using a VPN. Just Netflix mobile.
What's the movie title pls
@@jxyza16 the subtle art of not giving a f*ck
Just a few minutes ago I was overwhelmed by how meaningless and hopeless life feels right now and then you posted this video and gave me a sliver of hope. Needed that.
I hope you keep rediscovering that sliver every single day.
You’re not alone in this ❤ I’m happy you’re hopeful now 😊
I promise it does get better, No. 6 has been the best advice I’ve ever followed.
Quit electronic devices and you won't need this or anything to have tons of hope.
I was just thinking yesterday how life would’ve been better had I just ended it. But I’m hanging on too.
I’m in my 50s and this video made me want to hop out of bed and crawl back in the bed at the same time. Find yourself, find your person, find your happiness and check in with all of them regularly.
Am gonna believe you😂
Great video! I'm 29 and I'm proud of my crazy 20s. I explored numerous things and never tried to be liked. I won and lost in relationships. Went through family loss & existential crisis. I kept learning and compounding experiences. Recently, I moved from Morocco to Toronto and all the life skills I acquired are delivering excellent results in my new journey. My additional tip would be to stay the fuck off from social media. A part for business purposes, they are garbage.
do our youtube comments count as social media?
@@pn78281 they absolutely do. And commenting once in a year doesn't make us sm slaves. Imo UA-cam is more a fantastic learning platform along with with LinkedIN than a social media. Except Whatssap for communication, I find the others do more harm than good to people in their 20s.
@@pn78281 They do.
I'm 26, and I completely agree with everything you've said! Ever since I stopped using my personal accounts and started using social media solely for the goal of growing my business, I have grown so much more present and focused. I've been through so much during my 20s already, and the person I was at 20 years old is unrecognizable from who I am today, which I'm pretty damn proud of. W dirt l 3aks hhh- r7elt mn merikan l lmaghrib hadi 4 sniin. Btawfi9 m3a 7ayatik ljdida f Toronto w kantmana lik kol l khir akhoya
love the additional tip. I totally agree 😆
I like the quote: “don’t live your life worrying whether somebody likes you or not, you best be making sure they’re doing right by you.”
Where was this from again? I forgot
Denzel bro
@@arnekronvall817Should’ve known. Thank you!
Man, I really wish I had stumbled on this video like 6-8 years ago, back when I was having a tough time figuring out my place in this crazy world. I used to devour heaps of posts and comments titled, "What I Wish I Knew in My 20s," hoping to sidestep any goof-ups. But instead of helping, they just made me more scared and I ended up getting tangled in all the stuff you said we shouldn't worry about. Your content, though, it's different. It feels real, not too pushy, and doesn't have that typical "self-help" vibe that's always trying to sell you some pie-in-the-sky dream, like becoming a millionaire, boss, hubby, or dad just by watching or reading something. Right now, I'm 30 and honestly, it's only been in the last two years that I've started to get my act together. So, it would be great if you made a video on what you wish you knew in your 30s :)
The "most relationships end" understanding is what I've used to talk several guys I know off the "I don't want to lose our friendship" ledge with the women they were into. My advice was "The friendship will change whether you tell her how you feel or not, but the only way to guarantee it's loss is to maintain your current course." A surprisingly large percentage of those friends have been happily married to the women in question for a decade or more.
Wow! That is truly a fantastic and wise point of view!
As a 35 year old, I can confirm this list is 🎯
Don't make my mistake: don't ty to do everything and be everyone. Just find something that makes you happy (cooking, gardening...) and do it for fun, and you will make huge success on the long term.
sounds like settling to me. It's like telling a buddy metaphorically, no I have no interest in sitting courtside next Jack Nicholson to watch a Laker Game. I will just sit home in my shed with a hot cococa and surf the nba on IG.
Yep nobody cares if you do that BUT YOU DO. Stop making excuses and DEMAND the best. When dining flat out ask the waiter what is the best dish in this place? the one HE would order if $$$ was no issue? then order that. Time doesn't care what it gets spent on, that's your job.
Number 5 hits home.
I moved to San Diego this year to chase my dream job- a coding job by the beach. Only to get laid off in the tech recession. I love the city but the job market is nowhere near as good as I expected and the culture is far different than the one I’m used to in NYC.
It’s been a disillusioning few months. But I’ve slowly warmed up to the idea of going back east and finally living in the city- both for job opportunity and fun.
I’ll miss the weather in San Diego. And I could always come back. But only now I’m realizing that this city was a dream- and now that I’ve lived the reality, it’s not the same as what I created in my head; it has its flaws too.
Time will tell how things go. But I’ve definitely warmed up to NYC and am getting excited again.
So.....NYC > Cali?
It’s a tough choice.
NYC is better for career, culture (direct/straightforward communication), diversity, nightlife.
SD is better for weather, access to nature, laidback lifestyle, and bit cheaper.
Maybe I’ll be back to SD. But NYC seems to make more sense for now.
SAn Diego man the city that raised me
I recommend to find your values as early as possible. For example, I partied and made friends most of my twenties. I hardly put energy in my career. Took me more than 7 years to finish my bachelor. When I think about it, I wish I would've spent more time studying, which would've been helpful for my career. But on the other hand, I learned to get a long with all kinds of folks. It's easy to approach people and hold long conversations. So what I'm saying is. If you aiming for being a social person, or technical person, business person, sportive person and so on. Put in your time in the twenties and you will turn out that way eventually. But you need to know what you want, and don't just copy others. Put in the thoughts and feelings for yourself
As someone just out of college and still trying to figure things out. I needed this
I just graduated and I felt lost. Definitely needed this. Hope you’re doing well, man.
Mee too 😅
As much life advice for 20s that goes around, I also feel like it was necessary to go through the pain as long as your are self-aware enough to reflect on the consequences and outcomes. If you're in your 20s, just know people in power tend to trust you more in your 30s and 40s simply because you're older, and opportunity will present itself with half the effort of a 20 yr old.
ua-cam.com/video/fQzDX5g1luk/v-deo.html
Bro I was not prepared for the POV shot of the lawn 😂
I'm currently in my 20s, navigating through life as any young adult would. This world can be quite crazy sometimes, but I guess that's the beauty of life. You don't have to have everything figured out right away, and that's perfectly okay.
If the world is crazy, I don't believe that there is any beauty in it. I think it's always more wrong than you can think and nothing would make it better in any case. There should be never any demands for people to have things figured our right away, you should always allow all time to them.
When I gave up on my dreams and started enjoying the life I have, good things started to happen. Cheers!
I love what you said about change. My biggest lesson was that the only sustainable change is the one that forces us to find a way to lean into ourselves and our instincts in a new way, instead of trying to force ourselves to be something we’re just not. Willpower will only get anyone so far.
5 hits the hardest. The ability to recognise and admit that the "dream" won't happen and find another dream ASAP. I wish I had done that without wasting years of my life. In hindsight I feel stupid.
Don't feel stupid. You had your reasons. Now, you know that they are just endpoints in your imagination.
"I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor. As the music dies, something in your eyes. Calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes. I'm never gonna dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool, should've known better than to cheat a friend and waste a gift that I've been given. So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with youuuuu..." Thanks for putting Careless Whisper in my head! It's a masterpiece of a song!
This is so good, I’ve been going out on dates with a girl and was really anxious it wouldn’t turn into a relationship. We ended up not working out and I was very upset. Just need to relax and realize that most relationships won’t last forever and that’s okay
Omg same here 😭 I thought he was the man of my dreams but he might go back to his ex now and its so frustrating to see him doing this mistake. But it ties into the advice of not trying to change people. If they werent the right person they just werent the right person, even if its hard to accept sometimes
This is excellent advice for any age. I’m 65 and still learning how to deal.
Never too late…
It is never too late, keep becoming your best self ^^
Main thing I did was to disassociate from manipulating friends and family. I didn't even realize why I didn't want to be around these people anymore , until I started reading other people's experiences. I've always been the one they called when they needed money or advice or drove them around like their taxi. So now I've heard about the negative comments after I choose not to participate in certain things and I know I made the right decision and it only encourages me more to remain true to myself . My only regret is, I wish I had done this much sooner.
1. Become completely unaffected by others' opinions of you. Like they don't matter at all.
2. Accept yourself and become comfortable with being exactly who you are.
3. Take as many risks as you want and be fearless in the pursuit of your goals. It's now or never.
4. Most relationships end, last a short time and don't matter as much as you want them to. Don't force anything to last longer than it should.
5. Hold onto your dreams, but lightly not tightly. So that you can change them when you need to (and you will need to).
6. Stop trying to find happiness in things. Start trying to find happiness in your actions. Don't find good things, do good things.
You’re truly the only self help guru who tells the reality straight forward and with 0 BS AND in a likeble manner. Wow✨👌
your videos have been resonating with me in a way 10 years of therapy hasn't. thank you for doing what you do!
I'm turning 19 this year and I found this video very helpful. Thank you, man!
Speaking of relationships and friendships - I was thinking of it as if it were a radio where you try to catch the frequency of the station you need. So that kinda can work with people - if you don't synchronize your frequencies, anything can go wrong
Advice number 6 really does change lives, I started training for a triathlon on a whim even though I’d never been into endurance sports. And as time went on I noticed I had a lot more motivation for other things in life and even started setting goals (sounds basic but I never thought of myself as a goal achieved :P). What’s more I started being more confident when speaking with others, even girls lol.
Anyway those are just my 2 cents, great video!
Perfect timing Mark! Turning 20 in the next 13 days and you got me on point! Well i tell you I'll have something really remarkable to show for in my 30s.
Remind me in 10 years ;)
No tienes que mostrar a nadie, a mi no me importa, muestrate a ti sanamente. Y en realidad te deseo lo mejor, salud fisica y espiritual.
Worst years of my life
Yes 2023
Mine too fuck the twenties.
2020 xD
2023 destroy my life
Might as well just have fun then
I've done most of these, and I'm pretty okay. All of my emotional problems stem from me ignoring feelings most of my life until my father died, and I was forced to confront them.
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN, MARK!! Never give a shit about embarrassing yourself in front of people, they'll inevitably forget about it in the near future anyway, and they're too busy focusing on themselves and their *own* embarrassing moments to be paying attention to *you* in the first place. Success sprouts *from* failure and embarrassment; if you never fail or make an ass out of yourself once-in-a-while, you're doing something wrong!
Regarding point 5 I wanna add: 8:17
Make your dream not just an end result - make it a process, or design it as a process. Imagine what an average day or an average week for you should look like.
What makes you happy? Being the inventor of some piece of software, getting rich and being called a genius?
Or do you do it because the pocess of developing software itself is in your nature? Maybe you just like the experience of coding away at night and success big or small is merely a sideeffect.
The points in life when you "reach success" are but fleeting moments, but many years are typically spent building up to that moment, consider how those years of chasing after a goal can make you happy. You get it, the journey is the goal and all that.
One important edit: Value Growth, not Change. Often we ask people to change in our relationship, when often growth is needed (probably in both sides). Your significant other will probably always do that annoying thing, but they most certainly can learn how it affects you and how they can better manage the situation in the future.
Lady advice is golden...i have noticed everytime i prioritize and do the wrong things like watching an extra episode that turns into a whole night/day of binge watching instead of going to the gym or studying i feel worse and worse about myself
Love this. Need one for the 30s! 31 now and just started to understand about dreams being overrated like 6 months ago lol
Also, to add onto this, try and find new angles for your dreams. For example, if you want to be a musician but now work in advertising, research ways to incorporate those skills into what you do now. It can make you a more valuable asset and assist in coming to terms with your new reality.
That’s my direct example. I wrote songs for years and never broke through, but my ability to write catchy ad copy helps me excel in my career. I am still trying to figure out the ad jingle aspect though. Shoutout to the Burger King Whopper guys 😂
But what to do when you don't even have a dream in the first place
1:16 The willingness to be disliked surely is a superpower. I was literally thinking "Why do I care if I'm crazy?"
I'm 40 and this still resonates .. golden rules ..thank you for sharing mark
I “missed out” on my twenties by being in a relationship, we spent all our time together and never really experienced alit of things that I think would have been good to experience. We were too comfortable with just letting time slip away and didn’t realize how much we isolated ourselves from the world. We stayed together for ten years. I’m now 30, single and feel like I don’t understand the world. I don’t regret our time together. We’re good friends and I have grown a lot since the break up, but it left me feeling extremely lost. Some of what you’ve brought up here is helping me understand how to deal with things from a healthier perspective.
The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, then next best time is now. Keep looking forward!
IMO you are right that a lot of people in their 20s are pursuiting wrong relationship partner, but more and more people are also leaving too quick. First fight, first scary thing and people go away. After all you don't need to force things but you must take the 'trial period' of relationship, try to take care of it, put the effort to understand the other with a good deep conversations and see if both of you have the same honest direction for life.
PS: That's what she(my wife) said.
I think actually the first step toward not caring is actually admitting that deep down inside of you there is some of part that wants to care, in other words, you don't fulheartedly want to not care. When you accept that you have tendencies to care, it's easier to accept your own struggle with it.
Every-single-one of Mark's videos are straight-up bangers, and calls for repeated viewing to retain!
OMG, seriously, this video was mind-blowing! As a 22-year-old, I'm so tired of all those basic advice videos. But this one? It's like a breath of fresh air! Finally, something different, you know? It's like a real human actually put thought into it. And those genuine photos they included? So cool! This video was hella interesting and spoke the truth. Props to the creator for keeping it real!
I'm 22 and watching this video makes me feel like I'm in my 30's. All these things I have been practicing for years. It is kind of lonely though because I do not get along with people my age. I get along with the old timers 😂
Same! I was looking for someone who commented that. Im starting to feel like the thing in doing wrong is doing everything right 😂
Girl me too, I notice that most people my age strongly dislike me, guys especially. It doesn't really bother me, and I actually like to tease the ones that really try to make it known that they dislike me. Keep doing what you're doing, I like your style.
"It isn't changing its the ability to adapt and be comfortable to yourself" I kinda get this, I have an addiction that I'm struggling for many years and being comfortable with it eases my life, struggling with my addiction and fighting with it is not helping me but being comfortable with it erases my addiction.
The beauty of living a long life is having more time to try things. The ones that strike early success stand out but maybe they do because they're an anomaly. You can't compare yourself to others
- Kemauan untuk tidak disukai adalah kekuatan luar biasa: Terimalah perbedaan dan disetujui ketidaksetujuan untuk menjalani hidup yang bermakna dan mengejar kesuksesan yang mungkin dihindari orang lain.
- Anda tidak dapat mengubah diri sendiri atau orang lain secara mendasar: Alih-alih mencari perubahan drastis, fokuslah pada adaptasi dan menjadi nyaman dengan siapa Anda, terutama dalam hubungan.
- Rasa malu adalah tanda usaha keras: Ambil risiko di usia 20-an tanpa takut akan rasa malu; ini adalah waktu optimal untuk usaha besar dalam hidup dengan biaya kegagalan yang rendah.
- Sebagian besar hubungan seharusnya berakhir: Kenali bahwa hubungan melayani tujuan tertentu, dan sehat bagi banyak hubungan untuk datang dan pergi; hindari memaksakan hubungan.
- Mimpi terlalu dihargai: Pegang mimpi dengan ringan, memahami bahwa mereka mungkin tidak menjamin kebahagiaan seumur hidup; fokus pada melakukan hal-hal yang membawa kepuasan yang sejati.
I love your videos and think you have so much knowledge to share! Thank you for doing what you do. I did have one thing I wanted to share. I don't fully agree with number 2. I used to have crippling depression, and through years of digging through my trauma and working on myself, I do not have depression anymore. I still believe that any change is possible that someone wants to make. It probably won't change quickly but it's possible!
Yes! This! Change is possible but it takes time and a lot of hard work.
I think u got smth wrong: If youre depressed, your not really yourself anymore, more likely u will be the sickness. As someone who suffered from heavy depression for many years I guess I know a little how it feels, and at some Point you cannot control your thoughts and feelings anymore.
So, getting out of depression doesnt mean youre changing yourself, it rather means u become more of yourself again. Big difference :)
But I definitely agree that one can get out of depression.
@@SuperInfection_Jay in the video, when Mark was talking about not being able to change some things about yourself, he showed Jim Carrey with the label of depression. So what I got from that was he was basically saying that is a character trait that cannot be changed. So that is why I addressed that I think you can change anything about yourself.
@@kimmeryday6091 Ok I see 👍🏼
God, you know after being stuck in the same cycle of 'I'm going to fix my life' and 'Why am I still depressed', I'm hoping this actually gives me some clarity. It also reaffirms to me that my best wishes for myself are kind of reflected in this video. I do want to take more risks and move away and pursue crazy ambitions. This video grounds me but also inspires me.
I am 32 and I am struggling with everything you mentoined, except embarassing myself. I am constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and it is excruciating but so worth it.
That being said, I am noticing I was following most of the tenants when I was in my 20s though. I didn't care what people thought of me and I was doing enjoyable things. Now, I am struggling with pretty much everything. Does that mean I am doomed?
By the way, now please make the same video for our 30s!!! 🤗
Something I started this year (Im 37) is writting a book titled "Notes to my Sons". My intent is to gather wisdom from my experiences, and the experiences of others, and collect them in one book for my sons to read. This is a "good action with good intent". As you say.
i loved the hair part, i actually related a lot cause i've been growing my hair for like 2 years now, it's something i've never done before, im 23 and i never had long hair, the reason behing deciding to let it grow was to challenge myself and help cultivate and grow my crippling self esteem, news flash, it's working, slowly, but its helping. it's one of the best decisions ive made in a while and i cant wait for my hair to get even bigger and more "luscious" XD.
I wan to say, that, this video is legendary!
I just feel lighter and less anxious now. You dropped a huge weight off my shoulders!
Thanks a lot
-mid 20's
I don't know if Mark edits his own videos or if hired an editor. If he did hired someone, please tell that person that they're amazing! So funny! (Yet insightful)
I wish you'd been around in my 20s to offer this advice... Actually, in my 20s I probably wouldn't have taken any notice. At that time, I had a normal life and I was happy with it. It was in my 30s when everything fell to pieces and I would have needed this, but I had to learn it for myself.
I'm glad you're there for others who are going through that shit now.
Hey mark, your videos really helped me in my life, i am becoming a good person day by day, but there is one thing that i am not able to get rid of and its "OVERTHINKING". I overthink a lot, plz make a video on this topic 🙏
Unfortunately being disliked absolutely crushes me and send me into a spiral of self hatred and “what’s wrong with me?” “Why am I so unlikable?” then I cry
Some of the most common cliches nowadays:
1. Just follow your dreams and never give up
2. Vulnerability is your superpower
3. You should aim to fail (romanticizing failure A LOT)
Thank you for debunking all of these myths!
Or that
4. burnout is a virtue for success.
5. It’s never too late to pursue your dreams
6. Women need to and can do it all, career and family.
(I’m a female.)
@@TenTenJdidn't get 6th one
@@Dream_soul26 Number six is a myth. My point is you can be a master mother, or you can be a master career person, but you probably can’t do both masterfully at the same time. The input and work involved in proper child rearing is mostly a full-time job. To be a fabulous lawyer, or a fabulous dentist is mostly a full-time job.
@@TenTenJ I get your point. That’s why I wish there would be acceptance (socially) towards not doing it all alone. Especially when it comes to mothers/women in general. I wish we could normalize having help with your kids (either grandparents or nannies etc helping, not expecting always the mother to do the home duties all alone or most of them etc). We praise so much women who ‘do it all’ cause yes, most of them don’t have a choice but to do it all BUT we shame those women who are open about accepting and needing and, yes, WANTING help so that they can develop a full life: career, family, relatiinships. It’s human to want it all but it’s also human to want and need help with it all. Ad it goes both ways, wether you’re a man or a woman. Novody can do it all alone. In this situation we have the same problem: we romanticize the concept of ‘family’ and ‘motherhood’ A LOT. That’s why people always wanna hear how the woman ‘does it all’ ‘always finds a way’ etc. I wish we would be more REAL about it.
@@ioanafilipescu2327 well, in many parts of the world, it is acceptable to need and ask for help. In older days, women spent time together and helped eachother do their work, in a normal community, say one person did more than their share of the cooking and the other did more than their share of the cleaning, etc. Children weren’t coddled, now parents are taxi drivers for their kids to every extracurricular thing they put their eyes on. I’m not saying progress is bad, but it sometimes comes at the cost of our meaning and purpose.
I love how you actually give real advice and not just polish a bunch of things....
I just turned 30 today!
Will you make a video on how not to screw up this decade too?
Possibly before May the 14th 2033!
I’m turning 30 may 24, I’m scared
At 30 usually people are obsessed by relationships But Mission and career or business, investments, learning are easier from 30 to 40 or even earlier
Try as many things as possible, like dancing and etc
Prioritize all self - ...s and understand your philosophy and what a circle of life is for you. At your 40 you would want to be already Someone and you would regret if you are not. After that you become yourself fully, trying not to lose, but to multiple everything and just to love life, health and to enjoy yourself and grow with the epoch
Dude you're spitting some of the best life wisdom ever. Stop caring about the amount of subscribers or people's reactions. Things and people have value in themselves.
It's good to take this ultra-good advice, but it's always ultra-good to make your own mistakes
Eh, sometimes it’s better to learn from others mistakes instead. Saves you a lot of pain and regret
One of the most life changing advices I've had was when I was in London and struggling with work and life in my early twenties. My boss called me and we were chatting why I was struggling with work and everything. In the middle of my breakdown he said 'honestly, nobody cares for you. Nobody can go outside for you or make you feel better, the only person who can do that and care for you is yourself'
Harsh but unbelievably true
Nothing will make you feel better about yourself
Other than the meaning behind your actions. 😌
Disability got me to figure all this out by the time I was about 19. My eldest is 20 and I'm gonna be rewatching this with him and the 17 year old secondborn. Thanks for being a virtual uncle who likely will never know my family exists, your efforts are helping keep my level of overwhelm a bit lower and I appreciate you.
My advice : don't get into an abusive relationship with a man child for a decade. Problem with #1 - being disliked/doing things he didn't approve of / thought would embaress him would lead to hours of yelectures (yelling lectures), or threats of physical abuse..... so yeah. Some of your advice would have gotten me threatened with being put in the cemetery across the road... and maybe actually being hurt
I’m a young man turning 20 this December. This advice is gonna help me a lot!
Thank you so much for this video Mark! Your videos really help changing my life, and not just because I am watching them, but I am taking action, I am doing what I need to do. I am so happy to see that I am only 18 years old and I do most of those things already or that I knew about them. Not even in my 20s, and I was already feeling those ideas and tips you talked about in this video. Glad to see I was right all along, and that I am doing the right things before even age 20. Thank you very much!!!
WHA WHAT ARE YOUU DOING HERE
Not even 20 yet, still watching this,in order to get some clarification. Thank you so much sir❤
My 20s are over in 3 months and i am ashamed how i never learned most things mark speaks in this video.
Same here 😑
I hear you, but you can't get caught up on it. Trust me it will make you more miserable. I am 32, its not over. If anything you are wiser now and can take action. There are losers in there 30's, 40's, 50's that still don't have any understanding of this. Age is just a number its what you do with your time that counts.
I'm in my 40s and still don't know most of these
I just started my 20s...
You are still young! Don't beat yourself up for the things you don't know. I'm in my 50s and still learning, still not a finished product and never will be.
Great video! In your 20's the following are not mistakes but issues in your life you should be striving toward and hopefully answering.
1. Career- You should know what you are good at and what field to dedicate your future to. Real estate should be a part of your wealth building goal.
2. Mate- For a man you should have had long relationship by this point and for a women should by now identify the mate you want to marry.
3. Lifestyle- Especially for a man, you should know how to take care of yourself with correct grooming, clothing style, a clean home, a respectable car and how to cook for yourself.
4. Health- your body should be in good shape and you should never be getting drunk or high on drugs. You view your body as a sacred temple and you avoid fast food/junk food.
5. Relationships- You should have a close entourage of friends, including some of the opposite sex. You should be respected and have great manners/etiquette. You should also be on excellent terms with your parents and siblings.
6. Hobbies- there should be more to you than just work. Hopefully you are a part of group, sports team, club or some extracurricular activity. If you know how to play a musical instrument this is ideal.
7. Spirituality- Hopefully you are part of some religious group and know how to pray. Meditation is also good.
8. Time management- You guard your time extremely well and do not waste it on video games, sports watching, streaming binge-watching, low-quality friends/activities, porn, social media and other meaningless time dumps. You also plan your days in advance using a calendar and review your daily activity each night.
9. Improving each day- hopefully you are improving your life each day with good friends, UA-cam videos, promising activities and productive thoughts.
People still have no idea that he will be remembered as one of the greatest minds of 21st century in philosophy with amazing ideas (except for quitting alcohol)
Thanks for everything MM!
Having struggled with alcohol most of my life, his video on quitting alcohol was one of his most inspiring. Proud to say that I havn't touched a glass of whiskey or even a beer since I saw it. So you can say what you want, to some people it has made an impact, and he seemed to have increased life quality spawned from that decision, so in my ranking of Mansons amazing ideas, him quitting alcohol ranks pretty f*ckin high.
@@atlas8414 I quit alcohol purely for health reasons (cancer risk) and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I agree that quitting alcohol has done wonders for my life quality.
I am happy that I pursued the college degree that I wanted while working full-time, kept my distance from the people who didn't matter to me, or did not care about what others thought of me, and ended a toxic relationship (all in my 20s). I am 30 years old now and life has never been better.
Mark Manson is like the mom I never had what a legend
You have given me more than anyone my whole academic carrier and even my self
I'm 20 yrs old,
I really needed this advice & I'm struggling a lot with life. Everything is fucked up
My Key take is "Stop looking for happiness in things you have and start looking in the things you do"
Thanks Mark bhai♥️
Stop looking for happiness in the things you have. Look for happiness in the things you do. Wow, Manson! Thank you so much. Always helpful.
7:30 I think you should totally follow what your dream is. :) I am an airline pilot for over 5 years now, had to do flightschool for almost 3 years prior and before that I almost not make it through school and had many years where i had no idea what to do with me until my dreams kicked in again and i persuied it. Then I ended up being the best in my classes in flight school and also the type ratings (Boeing 737 with my first operator and now Airbus A320). So in my opinion: there is a looot of shit going on in live, I almost lost everything due to covid and the industries break down... I even was jobles for a month and the sadest time was not knowing whats going to come tomorrow and how to pay the bills but I worked my ass off to be the person they wanted me to be in the tests and just being me, they wanted me in the interview. So my advice is to work your way to success (Whatever it is for you), get character and be nice and kind and helpful, because sometimes when you need help yourself, a good friend or person will remember that you helped them once and might give you a hint where to apply for a job etc. Grüße :) Btw yes I am soooo damn happy now again to be flying and having the lifestyle I want
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever,hoping to retire next year... Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life.
I agree with you and believe that the secret to financial stability is having the right investment ideas to enable you earn more money, I don't know who agrees with me but either way I recommend real estate or crypto and stocks.
How does this trading stuff work? I'm really interested but I just don't know how it go about it. I heard people really make it huge trading
trading is easier with proper guidance, especially from a professional, Newbies who are not aware of how crypto truly works and wish to make profits from it, I would advise to invest with a professional like Fergus waylen, It helps secure and minimize the possibilities of losses.
I'm honestly surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of his clients testimony last week in CNBC world news
Well, you are saying the fact. I invested $4,000 with fergus Waylen. and earned $12,000 in 7 working days.
"Improving your life is less about completely changing yourself and more about adapting and becoming comfortable with who you already are" Ohhh this line ❤
Saying you will never not struggle with addiction is not my experience. Having been “sober” for over 30 years and having quit smoking for over 20 years. I have to say it’s just not an issue anymore. I’ve outgrown it ,don’t miss it. Don’t fear it don’t think about it.
Don’t get caught in a self fulfilling prophecy loop .🖖🏻
Thanks for this..
How old are you
@@Rehan123-h6l pushing 60🖖🏻
Thank you ❤ Regardless of what you believe in, I just asked my higher power to send me a message and as I scrolled this found me. I’m 27. I was depressed the first few years of my 20s I spent depressed, the next few I cleaned up the messes I made when I was sick. I’m literally packing up and moving across the country this month. This is my last week at this location of my job and I’ve been here since I was 18. I’m not even from North Carolina. I’m from California originally! I’ve been here almost 10 years and I *never* liked it. Well now I’m doing something about it! This week I keep saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” with a giggle and now I think negative thoughts are trying to come in, but they can’t really get through because I’ve done the work. Honestly, I don’t know what is going to happen next, but for once I’m excited to see and I’m documenting everything!!
"I don't know what will happen next"... really internalise that and hold onto that feeling, because that's what makes you feel alive. Having days where you know what the next one will bring, and what you'll and who you'll speak too just breeds boredom and a wonder of what this is all about. But having an edge of uncertainty will give you the right amount of edge to starting feeling alive again, all the best with it!
Thanks. Still good for in my 60's
It's important to distinguish dreams of inspiration versus dreams of desire, the former having an important role in life's meaning.
How about 30 years old?
I'm 18 rn, these videos of mark is giving me a total different perspective and things are going to get real and wild and funny to be looked upon from a distant future.
in my 20's ,
I sat in home , studied , watched cartoon network , studied more , ate and slept .
slept like crazy , like 14 hours a day
"If you can become Comfortable with the hate , you'll be fucking unstoppable......"
The biggest mistake of my 20th was to pursue a 9-to-5-job 😢
Discovering your UA-cam channel coincidentally after finishing "The Subtle Art.." is the best complement I can reward myself with for finishing a life changing book.
You're a role model, and I hope you have an idea how much of an impact you're making on people's lives. I wish you all the success ever to wish for and I hope you never stop pursuing your endeavor Mark. Good luck in everything you're doing mate.
The best part about this video is that it is relevant for anyone in their 30s, 40s or 50s too! All these points are relevant, irrespective of your age!! ❤❤
Mark I know everyone tells you you’ve changed their life, but seriously I reference “how to not give a fuck” all the time. It made me realize that I was wasting time on trying to be a famous artist/musician. And now in a depressing “I gave up on my dreams” way, but I accepted that line you said in your book about yourself - I just didn’t have enough passion to do the shitty stuff that others do to make a livelihood off it. And I didn’t care enough to be a paid musician doing random gigs around town, I just wanted to be on the big stages and having the fun. After a couple years of getting serious and trying to widdle down the various ideas I had for careers I’d enjoy, I’m in school for real estate now. I know that to honor my unique self I needed a job that gave me flexibility and independence, and didn’t require a degree. I’ll always do my music and art and if for some reason it gets picked up one day, great, but that’s not what I’m striving for anymore.
This man describes life in a precisely funny weird way
I would say some of this video pushes shallow ideas or philosophy with confidence. If people don’t like you then there is a reason. If you ignore why people don’t like you, you will suffer, whether emotionally or in business. Unless they’re bullies, don’t give people reasons to dislike you. Be mindful of your behaviors and learn to be liked by many, while ignoring mindless haters, for they are beneath you. To be liked by many is to be powerful and to be cared for by many.
This dude knows the things, he should write some books or so :) :D
😂