Hey babes! Hope you enjoy this video! Just a heads up - It's more me venting than giving "soft life" advice lol. I am SO GRATEFUL for all God has blessed me with, but its ok, important & crucial to mental health to acknowledge some of the other feelings that come with that - like stress and feeling overwhelmed. Also, sorry to those who contacted the Telegram scammer. I'm so tired of them 🤦🏾♀For future reference, I DO NOT have a Telegram or a WhatsApp account! So if someone wants you to text them on there, it is not me!!! Love yall! Enjoy! 🤎
I feel a lot of times we put ourselves in stressful predicaments because we are nurturing and protective creatures by nature. I am a single mother of a 14 yr. old girl and we moved to Atlanta in 2016 for my job. I just needed a change and wanted to see if I could move differently instead of what I was used to in South Carolina. The pressure of change, family and dating was SO hard!! I have always put my daughter first before everything and everyone because it was always us and she found it hard to change from what was programmed in her life. She had a hard time meeting and getting new friends which stressed me out too and I found myself doing more to let her know she wasn't alone. Then when I started dating things got a little crazy!. My daughter would demand all of my attention when I had my friend, now mate over and then he would pull me to spend time catering to his wants and needs plus us going out, so I felt like I was in the middle of them both. But I had to let her lknow that we needed that time to get to know each other and I asked him to understand that my daughter is special in my life and he had to understand she needed me also but I would limit it so I could have some time to just breathe. Plus I would take Sunday evening and just get away from both of them and do what I wanted to do. So it's normal to feel stressed and stretched out. My time early in the morning is a MUST for me. I meditate, exercise and then get ready for work. I realize if I don't have that time to pray and meditateI get stressed out or very impatient with my loved ones. Just take the time and have a family meeting with them both. Sorry this was too long!
I appreciate content where you're being your authentic self, its extremely relatable. I felt that in my soul when you mentioned "performing" and trying not to lose yourself or your mind chile. Take it one day at a time and keep looking fabulous while doing so. Enjoyed this video!
Thank you so much for sharing/venting with us it helps us more than you know!Recognizing and not judging yourself for “feeling your feelings” is very important ❤️
I'm glad this wasn't a polished video. Just you being honest and authentic about where you are at in this moment. I am blessed with a great job, salary, husband and home but sometimes you need a time out just for yourself! To recollect and recentre 👌🏿
I’m married, work full time, and a mother of 2 kids so I feel you on being overwhelmed. I make a concerted effort to spend time with myself everyday. I spend about an hour in the morning, working out/walking, reading, cup of tea/coffee or watch my favorite show and I rinse and repeat a hour in the evening before bed. On some weekends I try and spend time with my friends. I find by doing this I am a better wife, mother and a better me! The key is to make sure you make time for yourself.
Thanks for sharing your story!! Refreshing to know I’m not the only one going through this. I’m a new wife (5 months) mother and business owner. Been struggling to find a balance in my new role and realized I was neglecting my personal needs to take care or everyone else. I just about 2 weeks about started back with taking time for myself and things are getting better! 🤗
@@prudenceagbor3208 That’s great! For me, working out 45 mins a day at least 4 days a week has really been the most helpful for me. Since it’s hard for me to get to the gym with kids I found this UA-camr named Grow with Jo. Her workouts are fun and can be done in the comfort of your home. I also add in some weight training with some weights from Walmart. Working out really keeps my stress and anxiety down plus gives me the energy I need to tackle the day. Oh and keeps me looking good for my hubby☺️. I highly recommend implementing working out as a part of your self care. Good luck….we got this!💪🏾
It’s definitely stressful to have a full plate. Some people will not understand you and say why are you stressed. You have so much good things going in your life. But that comes a big burden
As a therapist, something I’ve had to learn and teach my clients is that even though the people we care for are important and deserve our attention we are equally just as important and sometimes have to set boundaries and take time for ourselves so we can continue showing up for other people and us ❤️
For all of the Galore Babes and true believers in Christ Jesus, Maya is so sweet and tender hearted and she always pleases us working hard uploading content and seems to be turned in every direction in her own personal life, let’s rally behind Maya in prayer for God to bless her with the help she needs and give her strength as she transitions into her new life. The Bible says “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them. Who will go to their personal alter and join me in prayer for Maya?🙏🏾❤️
In order to somewhat have a stress free life you have to start prioritizing yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no sometimes and when to ask for help. Just understand you are just one person and don’t feel bad for putting yourself first in certain circumstances.
I think it’s all about intention. Why do we want to live a “soft life”? What does that even look like? Also, when we get married, the pressures and stresses that we had prior to being married should be lighten. That’s one of the benefits of having a spouse. I’m married, have children, work and now go to school, so I have definitely been feeling stressed. My husband has been doing everything possible to alleviate some of the stress, but we as women try to be super woman and take on everything. My kids have stepped up too. Allow your core(fiancé and daughter) to help you. Tell them what you need from them. Don’t give the life that you desire some trendy name…..just live it with pure intentions. I could be wrong but I believe the stress is coming from trying to live the IDEA of what you think a soft life is. Stress will always be there, we just learn to manage it differently. Even in my sometimes overwhelming life, this is the best my life has ever been. My husband suggested I quit working to fully focus on school. This will definitely lower my stress level. As wives, we don’t have to be damsels in distress, but we also don’t have to do it all alone. Be blessed 💚🙏🏾
I just did a extended wknd and I got it from you. I called it a Solo Trip. Just me, not too far from home, but I took myself dinners, talked to God, laughed by myself, went to the hotel bar and had drinks with strangers. Just reclaimed my alone time. Try it. I’ve been a single mom for 22yrs and taking time to be alone and reclaim my time was everything. Solo trip every other month now. ✌🏾☮️❤️
Maya, I literally feel the EXACT same way. I feel so conflicted when I complain because this is what I wanted..the man, the house, the family, small business..But ya girl is STRESSED! I really don’t know how to balance it all and it’s sooo frustrating. I pray we find our balance soon. Glad to see you on your solo date and just simply doing something for yourself! I think I’ll follow suit. Loved the video. ♥️ xoxo
My mom always says that having a big house comes with a lot more responsibility & a lot more cleaning. Have you considered getting a cleaning lady here & there to help alleviate some of the stress?
I remember feeling similarly, to the point where I was depressed and attacked by anxiety, but then I decided to fast for 21 days to connect with the Holy Spirit, and on the 19th day I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying that's it now. Go have a bowl of Cabbage, broccoli and Cauliflower soup with sea salt and cayenne pepper. And then from that point on, being - actually being - became so much more of a flow. It came with such a freedom. Beautiful. There are times when I need to reconnect again, but that facing to hear the Holy Spirit gave me life. It is life! Hope this means something to anyone who may need it. God bless you.
Girl please! All over the place??!! This video is exactly what I needed to hear and it's YOU. Which is exactly what I adore about your content. Authentically YOU! I'm such a fan sis❤️🙏🏿✌🏿💐
@@MayaGalore Ms to be Mrs Maya. I'm speaking for the rest of your subscribers. We are all here and will continue to be because of the beautiful, transparent, we'll thought out. Yes I said well thought out content because you are so many of us in REAL LIFE. The real ones are here for the real you. Don't you worry. 💪🏿❤️
Girl I feel you! I'm a single mom of two teens, work a full time job, two part time jobs and working on getting my travel business running so there's no time for moi! One thing that does help is planning. It may sound a lil cold but schedule everyone into your day, want to spend time with your daughter- schedule it in your calendar, time with your boo- add it to the calendar, time for your business/content- add it to your calendar, self care time-add it to the calendar. And for days when its hectic to everything in 15 or 30 mins increments (in your calendar) that way you don't feel overwhelmed. Hope this helps! You're doing great, just take it one breath, step and day at a time❤
Maya, book you a hotel in Atlanta for a weekend and have some healthy me time to decompress, because you can’t afford to lose yourself in the midst of pleasing everyone else. Just breathe and realize that it’s ok to be selfish sometimes. Trust me when I say; you don’t want to fall into silent depression because it’s real… There’s so many people living with silent depression each and everyday. You have to take care of you and the best thing you can ever do for yourself is what you did on this platform is - talk about it. Relax - Relate - Release!♥️🌹
Hey Maya!!! I believe you have to be okay with feeling how you feel. You know that His Strength is made perfect in our weakness. Just know what you can and can’t do. You CANNOT be everything to everybody. Be who you need to be. Don’t allow “all the things” to pressure you!!! You are beautiful with a sweet spirit. God Got You Sis!!!❤️❤️❤️
Sis, you have to set limits even with family. Set a daily or night time routine everyday for yourself for you time! once you are done taking care of the babygirl and hubby, you have to take care of yourself too. The good thing about starting this new life and family is you have the help that you need now that you didn't have before. Know that everyday you can't get everything done. Do what you can. Set your limits for the day and release and the end of the day however so you see fit. Keep going to God for guidance. xoxo
Thank you for sharing this advice. I definitely don’t know my limits. I will be up cleaning and doing laundry until 12 am & with a whole attitude at that. Like girl..😩✌🏾
I can completely relate!!!!!! As a fiancé, mother and new homeowner myself!!! This was right on time for me and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability about this. Great video!!!!
Maya all the things you’re feeling is normal. Have grace with yourself and realizing what you need for you and leaning into that allows you to be available to those that need you. Acknowledging your feelings, voicing your frustrations putting in place routines and rituals that feed your soul allow you to show up for you. In doing those things you’re middling behavior for your daughter and visualizing for your fiancé what you need. And BTW, I’m glad you showed the full body photo in your dress, you are beautiful inside & out at whatever weight. That body gave life to a whole nother human being. Embrace it at whatever stage it’s at. Hope you’re having a wonderful day💕💕💕
You took the words right out of my mouth!! Exactly this. I think influencers sometimes lose themselves to trends instead of allowing themselves the grace to adjust to lifes curves.
GIRLLLL. This is really everything. I’m a wife, mother, and I work FT from home. I’m also feeling the transition in every area and it’s a lot of pressure being felt to get “there.” For me, I know I need to focus on getting still and really spending time with the Lord consistently so I don’t have to feel like I need to carry the weight of my call. It’s pressure He never called me to carry ❤️
Maya, you’re putting into words what we’re all feeling. As women, we’re mothers, wives, entrepreneurs, etc. There is so much pressure on us. I appreciate watching your videos because it’s a relaxing time to see how you’re decorating your new home, watching you put on your makeup. I just enjoy it all because you’re relatable. ❤️
A stress free life is unrealistic. Stress should by no means dominate your life but every now and then it rises up. The key is finding ways to handle it and address the thoughts or problems that are causing it so you'll know how to handle it if it arises again. People also have to realize, trying to achieve these unrealistic goals are stressful. Take it day by day, give yourself grace and pace yourself. It's ok, you'll get there;)
I want to thank you for being authentic and being here, consistently. This year has been really rough for me and seeing you work for the life you want and your unwavering faith in God has helped me get through some really bad times. You are so blessed to have a sister with the spiritual gifts she has. Continue to tap into the things that keep you grounded (anxiety free) and you will be fine. Below is a list of thoughts that came to mind as I watched your video. 1. You are doing amazing! You've got this! 2. Discomfort is a sign of growth/transition. 3. Soft means being flexible. It may mean grinding some at the certain points in your life to have less stress/stress free future. 4. No matter what the official definition of a soft life is, YOU get to define what it means to you and how you want your life to look. 5. You have a growing business/brand and family and just maybe things have grown to the point where you may need to hire some folks to ease the stress. I wonder how many hours you could gain back if you had someone to edit your videos, for example. The soft life means not being afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks to free up your time and ease your stress. 6. The soft life is knowing everything is figure-outable and just because you don't know or just because things look chaotic or are in a mess right now, it doesn't mean they won't improve and be the way you want them to be in the future. 7. A soft life means being gentle with yourself and not beating yourself up trying to be perfect. Just because things are not how we want them to be or how we think they should be is not a short coming or personal failure. It simply means we have not acquired the skills we need to master the thing we feel we should already be an expert at. That's the main purpose of transitioning away from the old to the new. The transition period is where we discover and practice the new set of skills that we will need to have the new life that we want. 8. The soft life means being deliberate about scheduling time for yourself (actually putting it on your calendar or planner). I think it should be something done as a family. Once a month or quarterly have a family meeting, using a wall calendar, put everyone's appointments and important events on the calendar along with time you are going to take off for yourself /solo dates. I highly recommend taking at least a day here and there and not just a few hours. 9. Most importantly, a soft life is possible because we can put our mind at ease due to our faith and trust that we can turn all things, especially the things that are out of our control, over to God.
When I first got married in 2017, that was me- so stressed, working full time, managing a whole husband, communicating like 4hours daily, being a daughter, and a sister/mother to my siblings. Being overwhelmed comes easily with happy transitions too, it’s ok to admit that. Creating these types of routines saves us. I’m glad you’re prioritizing your well-being Maya! So proud of you, boo!
I have had more than my fair share of breakdowns in the last few weeks because of this very reason. And as a mental health advocate, and someone who has battled depression for years. I think I have figured out how to get through it. Ready for the answer? The answer is to give yourself permission to feel all the things you are feeling. Give yourself the permission to sit in wherever it is that you are in, in this moment. Give yourself the permission to cry. Give yourself the permission to put you first. Girl just give yourself the permission to do whatever Maya needs to be able to move through this season. Don't try to give explanations for where you are in this season. Don't try and guilt yourself into feeling like you don't deserve to feel the natural human emotions that youare feeling. Girl just give yourself the permission to just be. I am not saying to remain in this season. I am not saying not to do the work so you can learn from this season. I am just saying move through it. And you will soon, move over and past this season at your own pace. And in your own time. If you don't feel comfortable giving yourself permission, then I give you the permission to put Maya first. And I will do it with you.
One short and simple thing that I have developed to live a stress free life. The power in saying “no” I can’t be there for EVERYBODY. So I have to push back and pour into myself before I do so for others.
You explained the overwhelm and appreciation balance perfectly! It’s great to have so many wonderful things in life but sometimes it can be a lot and you just need a moment for yourself.
Loved this Maya! I’m feeling exactly this way! Married, 3 kids, full time job and so much more. I’m so blessed but feel overwhelmed by my blessings at times. Learning to lean not to my own understanding and depend on God’s Grace. You seem to be handling it well and I’m so excited to see all that’s coming your way!
I truly understand since I am a single mother who is dating. Just take the time and sit them both down and let them know that they both are special in your life but they need to understand that you are only one person trying to be there for both of them. My morning time has done wonders for me! I meditate, exercise and then prepare for work. Take the necessary time for yourself in order to be there for them. Stay strong, get some YOU time and just breathe!! You got this soft life! 💓
Hey hunny I feel you 5000%, I have to learn that it's okay to just be by myself. Turn off for a moment. Being a mom a wife and working full time is soooo draining at times.
I can understand the demands of life in general. Try to move with intent and make time for yourself, journal, build a routine that’s realistic for you to attain and maybe a life coach 😊. I’m definitely considering that!
I feel since you’re a Libra it’s hard for you to live the stress free life because you constantly need balance! And there is ALWAYS going to be something. I believe once you’re okay with the imbalance you can live a softer life. 🥰
Thank you so much for posting this! I really liked the part where you were really going into living a stress free life. I'm 17 years old and a senior in highschool. I constantly feel like I'm getting pulled in so many directions. Even though I am not a mom nor wife yet, watching your videos especially this one really helped me notice I'm not the only one. Today I cried because I was overwhelmed and felt like I wasn't doing enough and that I wasn't living up to my expectations and the expectations of others. So to see you get so emotional talking about a topic like that really helped me and even though I am so young watching your videos guide me and make me feel heard/seen.
Babey! I have mastered the art of doing nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing. What ever I do at that time is tied to being and nothing. It takes consistency to train the family and address the guilt. However, it’s AHMazing when you get there. 😘
Maya Here's a tip at night write down the 6 most important things you need yo do the next day. Pray and ask God to lead and guide you in getting them done. You really have to learn to give some things over to God. Less stress when you let your life be God blessed.
Sisssss your rant was extremely valid!! I am married with 2 kids so I completely understanding being overwhelmed, being touched out, “mom’d” out. Finding balance is going to be the hardest but best thing you can do. BUT until you find the balance that works best for your family don’t forget to take the time you need for YOURSELF they will understand. ❤
As a Libra sis, we need balance. It’s so important to have that alone time to reset so that we can be there for others. At least once a month, take a day to take care of you.
Omg I felt the same as you when I became a homeowner. As much as we recognise we’re blessed, it is stressful creating a better life for yourself! Bigger house = more cleaning, buying more stuff, trying to organise a new space, keeping up your income to maintain it etc - It’s a lot mentally. And you feel guilty because it feels like complaining but it’s not😂 Once you settle more, and that could take a long while, but you’ll get into the swing of things and feel much better xxx
Honestly babe, a soft life essentially is balancing the work and home life. Making sure that you still make time for you by not putting too much on your plate. Being stress-free in todays society is a really difficult thing for most of us. It’s almost a facade / a phase / a “way of life” but not realistic for most. Unfortunately it has a lot to do with putting others on the back burner but in the sweetest way. Allowing yourself to do as you please without feeling guilty for not always showing up! Sometimes you have to say no and put YOU FIRST even when it feels guilty. Everyone will have their own perception of the definition at hand. But that’s mine
Most of those ‘soft life’ women clearly do not work or have some sort of entrepreneurial type business or something. They don’t seem to have full responsibilities such as home and child care. Most of them are child free single women so they have more disposable income and time to do what they want. That’s why they show themselves getting up early going to Pilates, shopping etc. it isn’t the same life as the average woman or even entrepreneurial women with a partner and child.
Happy to know someone is having moments like I am and being able to hold it together. Right now I feel my life is all over the place but I’m getting it together🤞🏾
To me I personally think that there is no such thing as a stress free life so soft life to me is having as many stress free moments as possible. So the goal is to attain that to experience more of the soft life because the more responsibilities you have, the less time you have for yourself. So if you can get a lot more stress free moments than stressful ones then you’re winning in my opinion.
We all living the same life with the same struggles and the same end goals. In learning to allow myself grace and just take it one day at a time. This life, parenting or dating does not come with instructions.
I understand what you’re saying 100%. I know this is how I felt earlier this year and I had to let the people in my life know that I need time to myself sometimes p.m.
I actually felt overwhelmed yesterday and one of ya more recent videos you talked about journaling… I laid out on my balcony while it was raining, wrapped in a blanket and with a candle burning. I wrote down how I felt that day before I read my Bible/Prayed and wrote how I felt after reading and praying.. all while still being laid out on my balcony, in the rain, listening to asmr sounds until the sun went down and I was sooooo at peace. 🥰💕💯 All I needed was some alone time with God and time to vent. Time to separate myself from my kids in a small apartment… Time to FEEL exactly what I was feeling, allowing myself to cry even though nothing was really wrong with me.. I just felt emotional. Sometimes… that’s just what it is…I think the key here is when you are feeling overwhelmed, you recognized it and address it accordingly. 💕
I can definitely sympathize with you on this! Life gets overwhelming! Trying to make everyone happy while also making sure you, yourself are mentally okay 😩 I ask God for strength every morning! Because I can not do this by myself and I will not try! So grateful to have Jesus to help me/us! 🙏🏽💗
I haven't heard of the soft life, but after this video I'm gonna look it up. Because everything you described is what I want my life to become. From life goals, faith goals, relationship goals, getting in touch with a more feminine side of me.... yasss all that!
Thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling. I’ve been feeling guilty too when I have moments of frustration because I don’t want it to seem like I’m not grateful for my blessings. After watching your video and reading the comments, I realized I’m not alone in this and I feel community.
Maya. You are just verbally voicing what a lotttt of us women go through. I feel the samw way.. One thing I can recommend is getting someone to come in and clean for you whether its once a week, every other week etc. Trust me it is money that will be well spent and give you back a few hours of your time to do you. I think getting up super early and working out, meditating etc and pour into yourself FIRST so that you can pour into others. You can't pour from an empty cup. Also remember that self care is not selfish. Blessings to you.
Marriage brings more pressure and and learning to give some things to God will help. You don't have to be everything to everybody. Take time to do something for you and let some things wait.
Honestly that’s why I’m so inconsistent and all my friends know that and know me. Like I get overwhelmed and shut down socially where I don’t call anyone or feel like talking to anyone fr so I’m also trynna learn how to balance that. And I get overwhelmed from shows too! Especially is they good ! I binged black Lightning and had to take breaks cus it was too much !!
As cliché as the saying may be, it’s so true. “You can’t pour from an empty pot”. I’m a single mom of 3 so I understand that part of it 100%! Then the occasional mom guilt you have when you do make time for yourself. Your feelings are valid. What you’re doing to figure it out and execute a system that works for your household is just fine! It all isn’t going to happen overnight, just being able to give yourself grace is a great start. Maybe hiring a cleaning service to come out monthly or so or delegating some of those tasks to other people may help right now. You don’t have all your family there right now, but there is some support for you. I’m praying for you! And I appreciate you for not trying to portray something that you’re not! ❤️❤️❤️
Women would all be lying if we said things got better after we got married. Continue to be intentional about your me time. Hiring a house keeper helped me.
Time management is important. Friends, family, significant other or others and the children can interpret us complaining that we being pulled in different directions by them to potentially make them pull away cause they don't want to feel like they are causing your stress. I've experienced some of that before. So now you know what your stressors are, work on balance. Most of all You have to put time aside for You!
Here for the tips on balancing because I’m right there with you Maya. When I need time for myself it’s like I’m guilty because everything else needs my attention too. And people will be resentful sometimes too when you just do you. It’s exhausting
Thank you for sharing with us sis and being vulnerable with how you honestly feel and sharing this aspect of your life! I have been watching you for a minute now and when I tell you, you have inspired me with being more into my feminity... You have! You and needing time for yourself is only natural and there's nothing wrong with that!
Sweetheart you’re about to embark upon a new life!! You should have that support that shares the responsibilities of life’s challenges !! you should not ever feel all burden is on you!!! You’re marrying a man not another dependent !!
Girl you aren’t alone!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being ok to zone out, exercise daily even i don’t want to and getting rid expectations of self and others is helping me daily !!!!!!!
I’m really happy for the girls that are being transparent and honest about attempting to achieve the soft life. Between juggling all that you are in this season of life, it can feel much more hard than soft. I’m still figuring it out myself. The fact is, We are blessed beyond measure and where much is given, much is required. But not to our detriment. The moments that we take for ourselves by ourselves to relax and recharge are imperative for us to be able to show up the way that we want to and need to in our “dream life”. We relate with you Maya. You’re doing amazing! We all are.
This was such a relatable video. I truly enjoyed it I'm sure many women feel overwhelmed with the domesticated life. Especially when you were previously on your independent woman type thing. Definitely a difficult thing for me. Being a mother, getting married, buying a home living with a man sharing my space full time. Then my father moved in got sick and the pandemic hit🤦🏾♀️. I went through some hardcore adjustments. Still going through it emotionally. The Lord brings us through so much.🙏🏾 One day at a time. Faith prayer patience and peace. It's a journey. Nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for this vid❤️
Single mom of a teen with multiple streams of income and the “Go to person for both sides of my family “ 1) I stopped walking in the roles others assigned to me I didn’t ask for 2) OUTSOURCE GIRL…I have a yard team, maids, Braider etc this gives me more time to myself 3) I redirect asks and empower those asking to figure out their own solutions (this goes for my child as well) when someone asks me for information I return by asking what have they done to find the answer or what options have they come up with so we can explore them 4) PMS (pamper myself Sundays) are a requirement and a must. Every since my daughter was 7 I turn off my phone on Sunday and do whatever I want, this means I don’t cook I don’t do anything that is obligatory PERIODT.. it’s funny because my whole community respects it and don’t try me on it 😀 5) I have my devotional time every morning, and I wind down in the evening with my favorite beverage and candles ( this one is still a work in progress) 6) I ration out my self care let’s be honest sometimes getting everything done I.e. hair, nails, feet, wax, eyebrows etc can be a job in itself. Finally I make EVERY EFFORT to live a gentle peaceful quiet life..1Thess 4:11-12 I mind the business that pays me…
Maya you remind me very much of myself personality wise. I always feel like I am “performing too”. Not as in an “act” but as far as showing up for others. Care taking is actually a big feminine characteristic however it’s hard to do it all gracefully. I think that’s ok. It’s ok to have different versions of a “soft life” and “femininity.” I’m loud and excited and all over the place but I always care for others and have a soft core so I’m ok with that.
So many of Us feel the same way you do. We’re just trying to figure it all out. Thanks for being real about it. A lot of us COG don’t really have examples of this. I think that when you’re more settled & develop a routine you’ll probably feel less overwhelmed. Everything is still basically “New” to You. Find a way to Start doing your devotions early in the morning again. Developing & sticking to the routine like you had in St. Louis might cause things to be less stressful.
Hi Maya, thanks for sharing and for being real. It is not unusual to feel overwhelmed when you are being pulled in every direction all at once. Take/make time for yourself even if it’s an hour or 2 a day. Take a relaxing bubble bath with your candles, wine and fav tv shows. Let everyone know that you will not be available for a little while to get yourself together so that you can be the best Maya for them. If Maya ain’t happy … ain’t nobody happy. Sometimes, being selfish for yourself is the best self care. Be unapologetically You. Blessings to you and your family 🤗
I am recently single and have a corporate career and run a solo business and a combination business with my twin. Also with two kids and in ministry. It’s all alot for us but I have began to understand my time with God and myself are AS important if not more than all the rest of my time! Spending my first moments with God and forcing myself to spend time with myself at the gym has saved my mental chaos. So I pray that as women we make time for God first and allow time to hear his guidance and go from there daily. Also, shop, get cute, drink a lot of water and have a little cake too! I’m routing for you’ll!
I understand completely what you're saying. I got married at 19 years old.... we have three children ...we're now 30 years old and have been married for 10 years now. I got a lot of help from the pressure of life (that I placed on myself) from going to therapy ... I def recommend it .... it helped me so much! ❤
I can certainly relate and it has gotten to the point that some mornings especially Mondays I feel myself complaining about waking up!!! It's like morning come so quick! However me and my good friend/spiritual partner we talk and we work at trying to capture those thoughts really quick and turn them into something positive. It is such a struggle to know that you are grateful because God has provided the desires of our heart but at the same time it gets overwhelming. I hear He will never put more on me but then I ask did I put some of this on myself LOL!! Older lady at church said sometimes it isn't "complaining" we just "explaining"😆😆. I pray you and us all have a blessed week, your videos are great!!
Loving your makeup!! you were right about the green shimmy!! I met you on UA-cam, when you were always doing makeup, and it's nice to see more of that occasionally! This is the vlog that got me to subscribe, and I like 'you being you'; I personally can relate with you having a melt down, especially after coming back from SL where all your family and friends are, you're excused, and natural to feel this way💁🏾♀🤷🏾♀; "Tomorrow is always another day to pick up the fragments, and start over"!!
Give yourself grace when you feel that you can’t be what everybody else need at the moment! You have to take care of yourself so that you can be your best for others! You don’t have to feel bad for taking care of you! You are just as important too!!
Additionally… I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist for virtual therapy sessions starting in 2 weeks. Sometimes we just need to have a safe place to really express ourselves to an outlet where it isn’t biased and professional opinion or advice is needed❣️ Just throwing another way I choose to deal with stress out there, lol. You’re doing amazing! 🤩 I think you’re a lot harder on yaself than you should be… like most people but seeking therapy may help you realize where the root of ya stress is coming from*
Your daughter might end up resenting you for not being sensitive to her needs during this big transition. Why in the world would you rush into all of this knowing that that this is alot for your daughter. You are honestly all over the place and may want to take a step back and reevaluate your life. God is not the author of confusion.
If I were you (because you asked lol) I would focus on automation, putting systems in place, and setting boundaries. I know I for sure wouldn't be cleaning that big house myself and have a cleaning service come in sometimes.
Proverbs 31 is a resting place or a soft life, many women wish they could have stability, a loving family, and purpose but you’re the Queen of the Castle, you set the tempo part of femininity as you know and sometimes the castle needs training 😋 you got this girl 🤗 you’re well on your way!
Maya honey thanks for your honesty. You definitely hv bn through alot in this pass yr or so. I know u have already attempted organizing your life in a few videos bk but this truly works for me. For yrs I had a problem w telling people no n always have catered to others no more n I'm just fine
Soft life, in my opinion is about convenience, no stress. It's also, like my grandmother use to say, knowing what you require to be happy so that you can get what you want and need. You can start by outsourcing some of the things that bring you stress so you can focus on the things that really matter to you. For example: Hiring an Interior Designer to help style your home so you can just live in it an enjoy it instead of decorating and redecorating. Hire a maid service to help with the cleaning so you can just live in the space. Hire a therapist to help you develop ways to calm yourself. Lastly, pay more attention to what you are putting in your body and how you are treating your body.
‘Soft life’ is not realistic because a lot of those women are single (as in they may be in a relationship but aren’t in a seriously committed one) and child free & they therefore have disposable income and free time to do things like wake up early, meditate, go to Pilates, solo dates etc. we need a new trend for women that actually have children and also a partner to take care of. I’m hoping that someone like Maya can be the first to set her own trend.
Chile I’m a caregiver .. and when I get a break I find a good manifesting video, or just journal . Plus I have a childish spouse who can’t figure it out so finding 15-20 min for myself is a good thing.
I have a husband and 3 children, which 2 of them are adults but still needs their mother to some capacity. I’m also a full-time RN with another prn nursing job as well as a (small)content creator on UA-cam, IG, and TikTok. I often feel the pressure too but I believe there’s different phases in our lives which maybe a little stressful at times…comes with the territory especially when there’s a lot going on. Honestly, I just have unplug myself from my family, social media, and my career. I don’t answer the phone or text message which my kids hate. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks which used to be very bad but now since I have learned how to just be unavailable at times, there aren’t as tense, I’ve even weaned myself off of my anti-anxiety medication(I’m not encouraging anyone to stop taking their medications). Mia, just embrace this season in your life and just know it will get easier…Ecclesiastes talks about there’s a time fir every season under the sun. Just stay prayed up and soak in His peace!! Also once I learned how to stop being such a people pleaser to the point I forgot about who I am really helped. The world things everyone should do the same trends of life especially on these social media platforms. I understand for some this is their actual job but just be you…what’s meant for you us for you and no one can stop it!!
Hey girl. How do you maintain your friendship with your girlfriends... I feel like I’ve lost more friends since I got married n moved to a new city. Thanks for this video 🤍
Hey babes! Hope you enjoy this video! Just a heads up - It's more me venting than giving "soft life" advice lol. I am SO GRATEFUL for all God has blessed me with, but its ok, important & crucial to mental health to acknowledge some of the other feelings that come with that - like stress and feeling overwhelmed. Also, sorry to those who contacted the Telegram scammer. I'm so tired of them 🤦🏾♀For future reference, I DO NOT have a Telegram or a WhatsApp account! So if someone wants you to text them on there, it is not me!!! Love yall! Enjoy! 🤎
Thank you for being you and transparent ❤️
I feel a lot of times we put ourselves in stressful predicaments because we are nurturing and protective creatures by nature. I am a single mother of a 14 yr. old girl and we moved to Atlanta in 2016 for my job. I just needed a change and wanted to see if I could move differently instead of what I was used to in South Carolina. The pressure of change, family and dating was SO hard!! I have always put my daughter first before everything and everyone because it was always us and she found it hard to change from what was programmed in her life. She had a hard time meeting and getting new friends which stressed me out too and I found myself doing more to let her know she wasn't alone. Then when I started dating things got a little crazy!. My daughter would demand all of my attention when I had my friend, now mate over and then he would pull me to spend time catering to his wants and needs plus us going out, so I felt like I was in the middle of them both. But I had to let her lknow that we needed that time to get to know each other and I asked him to understand that my daughter is special in my life and he had to understand she needed me also but I would limit it so I could have some time to just breathe. Plus I would take Sunday evening and just get away from both of them and do what I wanted to do. So it's normal to feel stressed and stretched out. My time early in the morning is a MUST for me. I meditate, exercise and then get ready for work. I realize if I don't have that time to pray and meditateI get stressed out or very impatient with my loved ones. Just take the time and have a family meeting with them both. Sorry this was too long!
I appreciate content where you're being your authentic self, its extremely relatable. I felt that in my soul when you mentioned "performing" and trying not to lose yourself or your mind chile. Take it one day at a time and keep looking fabulous while doing so. Enjoyed this video!
Thank you so much for sharing/venting with us it helps us more than you know!Recognizing and not judging yourself for “feeling your feelings” is very important ❤️
I'm glad this wasn't a polished video. Just you being honest and authentic about where you are at in this moment. I am blessed with a great job, salary, husband and home but sometimes you need a time out just for yourself! To recollect and recentre 👌🏿
I’m married, work full time, and a mother of 2 kids so I feel you on being overwhelmed. I make a concerted effort to spend time with myself everyday. I spend about an hour in the morning, working out/walking, reading, cup of tea/coffee or watch my favorite show and I rinse and repeat a hour in the evening before bed. On some weekends I try and spend time with my friends. I find by doing this I am a better wife, mother and a better me! The key is to make sure you make time for yourself.
Thanks for sharing your story!! Refreshing to know I’m not the only one going through this. I’m a new wife (5 months) mother and business owner. Been struggling to find a balance in my new role and realized I was neglecting my personal needs to take care or everyone else. I just about 2 weeks about started back with taking time for myself and things are getting better! 🤗
@@prudenceagbor3208 That’s great! For me, working out 45 mins a day at least 4 days a week has really been the most helpful for me. Since it’s hard for me to get to the gym with kids I found this UA-camr named Grow with Jo. Her workouts are fun and can be done in the comfort of your home. I also add in some weight training with some weights from Walmart. Working out really keeps my stress and anxiety down plus gives me the energy I need to tackle the day. Oh and keeps me looking good for my hubby☺️. I highly recommend implementing working out as a part of your self care. Good luck….we got this!💪🏾
It’s definitely stressful to have a full plate. Some people will not understand you and say why are you stressed. You have so much good things going in your life. But that comes a big burden
#Zero Tolerance you said it and sumed it all up
As a therapist, something I’ve had to learn and teach my clients is that even though the people we care for are important and deserve our attention we are equally just as important and sometimes have to set boundaries and take time for ourselves so we can continue showing up for other people and us ❤️
For all of the Galore Babes and true believers in Christ Jesus, Maya is so sweet and tender hearted and she always pleases us working hard uploading content and seems to be turned in every direction in her own personal life, let’s rally behind Maya in prayer for God to bless her with the help she needs and give her strength as she transitions into her new life. The Bible says “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them. Who will go to their personal alter and join me in prayer for Maya?🙏🏾❤️
Meeee sis!
Amen!
Me too
Well said
Iam in agreement 🤝
In order to somewhat have a stress free life you have to start prioritizing yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no sometimes and when to ask for help. Just understand you are just one person and don’t feel bad for putting yourself first in certain circumstances.
I think it’s all about intention. Why do we want to live a “soft life”? What does that even look like? Also, when we get married, the pressures and stresses that we had prior to being married should be lighten. That’s one of the benefits of having a spouse. I’m married, have children, work and now go to school, so I have definitely been feeling stressed. My husband has been doing everything possible to alleviate some of the stress, but we as women try to be super woman and take on everything. My kids have stepped up too. Allow your core(fiancé and daughter) to help you. Tell them what you need from them. Don’t give the life that you desire some trendy name…..just live it with pure intentions. I could be wrong but I believe the stress is coming from trying to live the IDEA of what you think a soft life is. Stress will always be there, we just learn to manage it differently. Even in my sometimes overwhelming life, this is the best my life has ever been. My husband suggested I quit working to fully focus on school. This will definitely lower my stress level. As wives, we don’t have to be damsels in distress, but we also don’t have to do it all alone. Be blessed 💚🙏🏾
Well said!!!
Sissss!!! WORD FOR WORD! I feel you!
🎯🎯🎯
I just did a extended wknd and I got it from you. I called it a Solo Trip. Just me, not too far from home, but I took myself dinners, talked to God, laughed by myself, went to the hotel bar and had drinks with strangers. Just reclaimed my alone time. Try it. I’ve been a single mom for 22yrs and taking time to be alone and reclaim my time was everything. Solo trip every other month now.
✌🏾☮️❤️
Maya, I literally feel the EXACT same way. I feel so conflicted when I complain because this is what I wanted..the man, the house, the family, small business..But ya girl is STRESSED! I really don’t know how to balance it all and it’s sooo frustrating. I pray we find our balance soon. Glad to see you on your solo date and just simply doing something for yourself! I think I’ll follow suit. Loved the video. ♥️ xoxo
My mom always says that having a big house comes with a lot more responsibility & a lot more cleaning. Have you considered getting a cleaning lady here & there to help alleviate some of the stress?
Yes I have considered getting a cleaning company to do the house. I need that bad 🤦🏾♀️
I remember feeling similarly, to the point where I was depressed and attacked by anxiety, but then I decided to fast for 21 days to connect with the Holy Spirit, and on the 19th day I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying that's it now. Go have a bowl of Cabbage, broccoli and Cauliflower soup with sea salt and cayenne pepper. And then from that point on, being - actually being - became so much more of a flow. It came with such a freedom. Beautiful. There are times when I need to reconnect again, but that facing to hear the Holy Spirit gave me life. It is life! Hope this means something to anyone who may need it. God bless you.
Girl please! All over the place??!!
This video is exactly what I needed to hear and it's YOU. Which is exactly what I adore about your content. Authentically YOU! I'm such a fan sis❤️🙏🏿✌🏿💐
Awwww thank you sis! That actually got me tearing up. I needed to hear that this was helpful cuz I was having second thoughts about it ❤️
@@MayaGalore Ms to be Mrs Maya. I'm speaking for the rest of your subscribers. We are all here and will continue to be because of the beautiful, transparent, we'll thought out. Yes I said well thought out content because you are so many of us in REAL LIFE.
The real ones are here for the real you. Don't you worry. 💪🏿❤️
Yesss her and Iamshelly keeps me sane ❤❤❤❤ the transparency and realness is so appreciated
Girl I feel you! I'm a single mom of two teens, work a full time job, two part time jobs and working on getting my travel business running so there's no time for moi! One thing that does help is planning. It may sound a lil cold but schedule everyone into your day, want to spend time with your daughter- schedule it in your calendar, time with your boo- add it to the calendar, time for your business/content- add it to your calendar, self care time-add it to the calendar. And for days when its hectic to everything in 15 or 30 mins increments (in your calendar) that way you don't feel overwhelmed. Hope this helps! You're doing great, just take it one breath, step and day at a time❤
Maya, book you a hotel in Atlanta for a weekend and have some healthy me time to decompress, because you can’t afford to lose yourself in the midst of pleasing everyone else. Just breathe and realize that it’s ok to be selfish sometimes. Trust me when I say; you don’t want to fall into silent depression because it’s real… There’s so many people living with silent depression each and everyday. You have to take care of you and the best thing you can ever do for yourself is what you did on this platform is - talk about it. Relax - Relate - Release!♥️🌹
Great advice! Thanks for sharing! ♥️
Hey Maya!!! I believe you have to be okay with feeling how you feel. You know that His Strength is made perfect in our weakness. Just know what you can and can’t do. You CANNOT be everything to everybody. Be who you need to be. Don’t allow “all the things” to pressure you!!! You are beautiful with a sweet spirit. God Got You Sis!!!❤️❤️❤️
Y’all are giving the best advice! Maya has built such a great community of women. Thank y’all so much ♥️
Sis, you have to set limits even with family. Set a daily or night time routine everyday for yourself for you time! once you are done taking care of the babygirl and hubby, you have to take care of yourself too. The good thing about starting this new life and family is you have the help that you need now that you didn't have before. Know that everyday you can't get everything done. Do what you can. Set your limits for the day and release and the end of the day however so you see fit. Keep going to God for guidance. xoxo
Thank you for sharing this advice. I definitely don’t know my limits. I will be up cleaning and doing laundry until 12 am & with a whole attitude at that. Like girl..😩✌🏾
@@KayReneWrld 😂😂😂
I can completely relate!!!!!! As a fiancé, mother and new homeowner myself!!! This was right on time for me and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability about this. Great video!!!!
Maya all the things you’re feeling is normal. Have grace with yourself and realizing what you need for you and leaning into that allows you to be available to those that need you. Acknowledging your feelings, voicing your frustrations putting in place routines and rituals that feed your soul allow you to show up for you. In doing those things you’re middling behavior for your daughter and visualizing for your fiancé what you need. And BTW, I’m glad you showed the full body photo in your dress, you are beautiful inside & out at whatever weight. That body gave life to a whole nother human being. Embrace it at whatever stage it’s at. Hope you’re having a wonderful day💕💕💕
Thank you so much sis ❤️ cuz I definitely was self conscious about the full body shot 🤦🏾♀️ I appreciate you. Hope you’re having a good day too 🥰
You took the words right out of my mouth!! Exactly this. I think influencers sometimes lose themselves to trends instead of allowing themselves the grace to adjust to lifes curves.
GIRLLLL. This is really everything. I’m a wife, mother, and I work FT from home. I’m also feeling the transition in every area and it’s a lot of pressure being felt to get “there.” For me, I know I need to focus on getting still and really spending time with the Lord consistently so I don’t have to feel like I need to carry the weight of my call. It’s pressure He never called me to carry ❤️
YAYYYYYYY!!!!!
Maya, you’re putting into words what we’re all feeling. As women, we’re mothers, wives, entrepreneurs, etc. There is so much pressure on us. I appreciate watching your videos because it’s a relaxing time to see how you’re decorating your new home, watching you put on your makeup. I just enjoy it all because you’re relatable. ❤️
A stress free life is unrealistic. Stress should by no means dominate your life but every now and then it rises up. The key is finding ways to handle it and address the thoughts or problems that are causing it so you'll know how to handle it if it arises again. People also have to realize, trying to achieve these unrealistic goals are stressful. Take it day by day, give yourself grace and pace yourself. It's ok, you'll get there;)
I want to thank you for being authentic and being here, consistently. This year has been really rough for me and seeing you work for the life you want and your unwavering faith in God has helped me get through some really bad times. You are so blessed to have a sister with the spiritual gifts she has. Continue to tap into the things that keep you grounded (anxiety free) and you will be fine. Below is a list of thoughts that came to mind as I watched your video.
1. You are doing amazing! You've got this!
2. Discomfort is a sign of growth/transition.
3. Soft means being flexible. It may mean grinding some at the certain points in your life to have less stress/stress free future.
4. No matter what the official definition of a soft life is, YOU get to define what it means to you and how you want your life to look.
5. You have a growing business/brand and family and just maybe things have grown to the point where you may need to hire some folks to ease the stress. I wonder how many hours you could gain back if you had someone to edit your videos, for example. The soft life means not being afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks to free up your time and ease your stress.
6. The soft life is knowing everything is figure-outable and just because you don't know or just because things look chaotic or are in a mess right now, it doesn't mean they won't improve and be the way you want them to be in the future.
7. A soft life means being gentle with yourself and not beating yourself up trying to be perfect. Just because things are not how we want them to be or how we think they should be is not a short coming or personal failure. It simply means we have not acquired the skills we need to master the thing we feel we should already be an expert at. That's the main purpose of transitioning away from the old to the new. The transition period is where we discover and practice the new set of skills that we will need to have the new life that we want.
8. The soft life means being deliberate about scheduling time for yourself (actually putting it on your calendar or planner). I think it should be something done as a family. Once a month or quarterly have a family meeting, using a wall calendar, put everyone's appointments and important events on the calendar along with time you are going to take off for yourself /solo dates. I highly recommend taking at least a day here and there and not just a few hours.
9. Most importantly, a soft life is possible because we can put our mind at ease due to our faith and trust that we can turn all things, especially the things that are out of our control, over to God.
When I first got married in 2017, that was me- so stressed, working full time, managing a whole husband, communicating like 4hours daily, being a daughter, and a sister/mother to my siblings. Being overwhelmed comes easily with happy transitions too, it’s ok to admit that. Creating these types of routines saves us. I’m glad you’re prioritizing your well-being Maya! So proud of you, boo!
I have had more than my fair share of breakdowns in the last few weeks because of this very reason. And as a mental health advocate, and someone who has battled depression for years. I think I have figured out how to get through it. Ready for the answer? The answer is to give yourself permission to feel all the things you are feeling.
Give yourself the permission to sit in wherever it is that you are in, in this moment. Give yourself the permission to cry. Give yourself the permission to put you first. Girl just give yourself the permission to do whatever Maya needs to be able to move through this season.
Don't try to give explanations for where you are in this season. Don't try and guilt yourself into feeling like you don't deserve to feel the natural human emotions that youare feeling.
Girl just give yourself the permission to just be.
I am not saying to remain in this season. I am not saying not to do the work so you can learn from this season. I am just saying move through it. And you will soon, move over and past this season at your own pace. And in your own time.
If you don't feel comfortable giving yourself permission, then I give you the permission to put Maya first. And I will do it with you.
Thank you for being transparent. I needed to hear this! One profound thing I’m taking away is “Soft life” doesn’t equate stress free everyday!
One short and simple thing that I have developed to live a stress free life.
The power in saying “no” I can’t be there for EVERYBODY. So I have to push back and pour into myself before I do so for others.
You explained the overwhelm and appreciation balance perfectly! It’s great to have so many wonderful things in life but sometimes it can be a lot and you just need a moment for yourself.
Loved this Maya! I’m feeling exactly this way! Married, 3 kids, full time job and so much more. I’m so blessed but feel overwhelmed by my blessings at times. Learning to lean not to my own understanding and depend on God’s Grace. You seem to be handling it well and I’m so excited to see all that’s coming your way!
I truly understand since I am a single mother who is dating. Just take the time and sit them both down and let them know that they both are special in your life but they need to understand that you are only one person trying to be there for both of them. My morning time has done wonders for me! I meditate, exercise and then prepare for work. Take the necessary time for yourself in order to be there for them. Stay strong, get some YOU time and just breathe!! You got this soft life! 💓
Hey hunny I feel you 5000%, I have to learn that it's okay to just be by myself. Turn off for a moment. Being a mom a wife and working full time is soooo draining at times.
I can understand the demands of life in general. Try to move with intent and make time for yourself, journal, build a routine that’s realistic for you to attain and maybe a life coach 😊. I’m definitely considering that!
I feel since you’re a Libra it’s hard for you to live the stress free life because you constantly need balance! And there is ALWAYS going to be something. I believe once you’re okay with the imbalance you can live a softer life. 🥰
Thank you so much for posting this! I really liked the part where you were really going into living a stress free life. I'm 17 years old and a senior in highschool. I constantly feel like I'm getting pulled in so many directions. Even though I am not a mom nor wife yet, watching your videos especially this one really helped me notice I'm not the only one. Today I cried because I was overwhelmed and felt like I wasn't doing enough and that I wasn't living up to my expectations and the expectations of others. So to see you get so emotional talking about a topic like that really helped me and even though I am so young watching your videos guide me and make me feel heard/seen.
Babey! I have mastered the art of doing nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing. What ever I do at that time is tied to being and nothing. It takes consistency to train the family and address the guilt. However, it’s AHMazing when you get there. 😘
Maya
Here's a tip at night write down the 6 most important things you need yo do the next day. Pray and ask God to lead and guide you in getting them done. You really have to learn to give some things over to God. Less stress when you let your life be God blessed.
Yesss I totally agree. Thank you so much for that suggestion 🙏🏾
Great & blessed tip! 🙏🏾🥰
Ohhh I’m trying this! ♥️
I know how you feel. That’s why I had to lose 100lbs because the weight was making life harder for me. I feel amazing now! 😃😃
Yesss! And congrats babe! That’s a huge accomplishment 🙌🏾🥰
@@MayaGalore 😌🙏🏽❤️
Sisssss your rant was extremely valid!!
I am married with 2 kids so I completely understanding being overwhelmed, being touched out, “mom’d” out. Finding balance is going to be the hardest but best thing you can do. BUT until you find the balance that works best for your family don’t forget to take the time you need for YOURSELF they will understand. ❤
As a Libra sis, we need balance. It’s so important to have that alone time to reset so that we can be there for others. At least once a month, take a day to take care of you.
Omg I felt the same as you when I became a homeowner.
As much as we recognise we’re blessed, it is stressful creating a better life for yourself! Bigger house = more cleaning, buying more stuff, trying to organise a new space, keeping up your income to maintain it etc - It’s a lot mentally.
And you feel guilty because it feels like complaining but it’s not😂
Once you settle more, and that could take a long while, but you’ll get into the swing of things and feel much better xxx
Honestly babe, a soft life essentially is balancing the work and home life. Making sure that you still make time for you by not putting too much on your plate. Being stress-free in todays society is a really difficult thing for most of us. It’s almost a facade / a phase / a “way of life” but not realistic for most. Unfortunately it has a lot to do with putting others on the back burner but in the sweetest way. Allowing yourself to do as you please without feeling guilty for not always showing up! Sometimes you have to say no and put YOU FIRST even when it feels guilty.
Everyone will have their own perception of the definition at hand. But that’s mine
Most of those ‘soft life’ women clearly do not work or have some sort of entrepreneurial type business or something. They don’t seem to have full responsibilities such as home and child care. Most of them are child free single women so they have more disposable income and time to do what they want. That’s why they show themselves getting up early going to Pilates, shopping etc. it isn’t the same life as the average woman or even entrepreneurial women with a partner and child.
Happy to know someone is having moments like I am and being able to hold it together. Right now I feel my life is all over the place but I’m getting it together🤞🏾
You’re not alone sis ❤️
To me I personally think that there is no such thing as a stress free life so soft life to me is having as many stress free moments as possible. So the goal is to attain that to experience more of the soft life because the more responsibilities you have, the less time you have for yourself. So if you can get a lot more stress free moments than stressful ones then you’re winning in my opinion.
We all living the same life with the same struggles and the same end goals. In learning to allow myself grace and just take it one day at a time. This life, parenting or dating does not come with instructions.
I understand what you’re saying 100%. I know this is how I felt earlier this year and I had to let the people in my life know that I need time to myself sometimes p.m.
I actually felt overwhelmed yesterday and one of ya more recent videos you talked about journaling… I laid out on my balcony while it was raining, wrapped in a blanket and with a candle burning.
I wrote down how I felt that day before I read my Bible/Prayed and wrote how I felt after reading and praying.. all while still being laid out on my balcony, in the rain, listening to asmr sounds until the sun went down and I was sooooo at peace. 🥰💕💯
All I needed was some alone time with God and time to vent. Time to separate myself from my kids in a small apartment… Time to FEEL exactly what I was feeling, allowing myself to cry even though nothing was really wrong with me.. I just felt emotional.
Sometimes… that’s just what it is…I think the key here is when you are feeling overwhelmed, you recognized it and address it accordingly. 💕
You Got This Maya!! Push Press Through.
I can definitely sympathize with you on this! Life gets overwhelming! Trying to make everyone happy while also making sure you, yourself are mentally okay 😩 I ask God for strength every morning! Because I can not do this by myself and I will not try! So grateful to have Jesus to help me/us! 🙏🏽💗
I haven't heard of the soft life, but after this video I'm gonna look it up. Because everything you described is what I want my life to become. From life goals, faith goals, relationship goals, getting in touch with a more feminine side of me.... yasss all that!
I find getting up early in the morning my quiet time 😁 very nice video and conversation ❤️❤️ you can o it!!!
Another video!! My My thank you Maya! looking gorgeous per usual girl 🙏🏽♥️
Thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling. I’ve been feeling guilty too when I have moments of frustration because I don’t want it to seem like I’m not grateful for my blessings. After watching your video and reading the comments, I realized I’m not alone in this and I feel community.
Maya. You are just verbally voicing what a lotttt of us women go through. I feel the samw way.. One thing I can recommend is getting someone to come in and clean for you whether its once a week, every other week etc. Trust me it is money that will be well spent and give you back a few hours of your time to do you. I think getting up super early and working out, meditating etc and pour into yourself FIRST so that you can pour into others. You can't pour from an empty cup. Also remember that self care is not selfish. Blessings to you.
Marriage brings more pressure and and learning to give some things to God will help. You don't have to be everything to everybody. Take time to do something for you and let some things wait.
Your talks are so relatable 🦋🤎
The most authentic conversation ever!
Honestly that’s why I’m so inconsistent and all my friends know that and know me. Like I get overwhelmed and shut down socially where I don’t call anyone or feel like talking to anyone fr so I’m also trynna learn how to balance that. And I get overwhelmed from shows too! Especially is they good ! I binged black Lightning and had to take breaks cus it was too much !!
I hope u can find the time to pour into urself the way u do for others xx
As cliché as the saying may be, it’s so true. “You can’t pour from an empty pot”. I’m a single mom of 3 so I understand that part of it 100%! Then the occasional mom guilt you have when you do make time for yourself. Your feelings are valid. What you’re doing to figure it out and execute a system that works for your household is just fine! It all isn’t going to happen overnight, just being able to give yourself grace is a great start. Maybe hiring a cleaning service to come out monthly or so or delegating some of those tasks to other people may help right now. You don’t have all your family there right now, but there is some support for you. I’m praying for you! And I appreciate you for not trying to portray something that you’re not! ❤️❤️❤️
Women would all be lying if we said things got better after we got married. Continue to be intentional about your me time. Hiring a house keeper helped me.
Time management is important. Friends, family, significant other or others and the children can interpret us complaining that we being pulled in different directions by them to potentially make them pull away cause they don't want to feel like they are causing your stress. I've experienced some of that before. So now you know what your stressors are, work on balance. Most of all You have to put time aside for You!
This entire vlog hit home for me…thank you for sharing Maya 💕
Here for the tips on balancing because I’m right there with you Maya. When I need time for myself it’s like I’m guilty because everything else needs my attention too. And people will be resentful sometimes too when you just do you. It’s exhausting
Thank you for sharing with us sis and being vulnerable with how you honestly feel and sharing this aspect of your life! I have been watching you for a minute now and when I tell you, you have inspired me with being more into my feminity... You have! You and needing time for yourself is only natural and there's nothing wrong with that!
Sweetheart you’re about to embark upon a new life!! You should have that support that shares the responsibilities of life’s challenges !! you should not ever feel all burden is on you!!! You’re marrying a man not another dependent !!
Chile!! We don’t know! Overwhelmed seems to be theme…I really take moments to just breath!!!
Girl you aren’t alone!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being ok to zone out, exercise daily even i don’t want to and getting rid expectations of self and others is helping me daily !!!!!!!
Just what I need to unwind after a long day! 🥰💚 Keep up the good work 👏
Yessssssss, just what I needed on this raining day before the kids get home
I’m really happy for the girls that are being transparent and honest about attempting to achieve the soft life. Between juggling all that you are in this season of life, it can feel much more hard than soft. I’m still figuring it out myself. The fact is, We are blessed beyond measure and where much is given, much is required. But not to our detriment.
The moments that we take for ourselves by ourselves to relax and recharge are imperative for us to be able to show up the way that we want to and need to in our “dream life”. We relate with you Maya. You’re doing amazing! We all are.
Wow, thanks Sis! God via the Holy spirit just gave me sooo many nuggets during this message! Thank you for being authentic and obedient ❤️🤍❤️🤍🫶🏾‼️
I literally wait for your videos to come out! ❤️ What is the name of your intro song?
This was such a relatable video. I truly enjoyed it I'm sure many women feel overwhelmed with the domesticated life. Especially when you were previously on your independent woman type thing.
Definitely a difficult thing for me. Being a mother, getting married, buying a home living with a man sharing my space full time. Then my father moved in got sick and the pandemic hit🤦🏾♀️. I went through some hardcore adjustments. Still going through it emotionally. The Lord brings us through so much.🙏🏾 One day at a time. Faith prayer patience and peace. It's a journey. Nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for this vid❤️
Single mom of a teen with multiple streams of income and the “Go to person for both sides of my family “ 1) I stopped walking in the roles others assigned to me I didn’t ask for 2) OUTSOURCE GIRL…I have a yard team, maids, Braider etc this gives me more time to myself 3) I redirect asks and empower those asking to figure out their own solutions (this goes for my child as well) when someone asks me for information I return by asking what have they done to find the answer or what options have they come up with so we can explore them 4) PMS (pamper myself Sundays) are a requirement and a must. Every since my daughter was 7 I turn off my phone on Sunday and do whatever I want, this means I don’t cook I don’t do anything that is obligatory PERIODT.. it’s funny because my whole community respects it and don’t try me on it 😀 5) I have my devotional time every morning, and I wind down in the evening with my favorite beverage and candles ( this one is still a work in progress) 6) I ration out my self care let’s be honest sometimes getting everything done I.e. hair, nails, feet, wax, eyebrows etc can be a job in itself. Finally I make EVERY EFFORT to live a gentle peaceful quiet life..1Thess 4:11-12 I mind the business that pays me…
One thing I have learned with going through this Myself is simply saying “NO” you need YOUR time and not feel bad about saying no.
Maya you remind me very much of myself personality wise. I always feel like I am “performing too”. Not as in an “act” but as far as showing up for others. Care taking is actually a big feminine characteristic however it’s hard to do it all gracefully. I think that’s ok. It’s ok to have different versions of a “soft life” and “femininity.” I’m loud and excited and all over the place but I always care for others and have a soft core so I’m ok with that.
So many of Us feel the same way you do. We’re just trying to figure it all out. Thanks for being real about it. A lot of us COG don’t really have examples of this. I think that when you’re more settled & develop a routine you’ll probably feel less overwhelmed. Everything is still basically “New” to You. Find a way to Start doing your devotions early in the morning again. Developing & sticking to the routine like you had in St. Louis might cause things to be less stressful.
Hi Maya, thanks for sharing and for being real. It is not unusual to feel overwhelmed when you are being pulled in every direction all at once. Take/make time for yourself even if it’s an hour or 2 a day. Take a relaxing bubble bath with your candles, wine and fav tv shows. Let everyone know that you will not be available for a little while to get yourself together so that you can be the best Maya for them. If Maya ain’t happy … ain’t nobody happy. Sometimes, being selfish for yourself is the best self care. Be unapologetically You. Blessings to you and your family 🤗
I am recently single and have a corporate career and run a solo business and a combination business with my twin. Also with two kids and in ministry. It’s all alot for us but I have began to understand my time with God and myself are AS important if not more than all the rest of my time! Spending my first moments with God and forcing myself to spend time with myself at the gym has saved my mental chaos. So I pray that as women we make time for God first and allow time to hear his guidance and go from there daily.
Also, shop, get cute, drink a lot of water and have a little cake too! I’m routing for you’ll!
I understand completely what you're saying. I got married at 19 years old.... we have three children ...we're now 30 years old and have been married for 10 years now. I got a lot of help from the pressure of life (that I placed on myself) from going to therapy ... I def recommend it .... it helped me so much! ❤
I totally can relate!!!! I feel like I have to perform all the time!
I can certainly relate and it has gotten to the point that some mornings especially Mondays I feel myself complaining about waking up!!! It's like morning come so quick! However me and my good friend/spiritual partner we talk and we work at trying to capture those thoughts really quick and turn them into something positive. It is such a struggle to know that you are grateful because God has provided the desires of our heart but at the same time it gets overwhelming. I hear He will never put more on me but then I ask did I put some of this on myself LOL!! Older lady at church said sometimes it isn't "complaining" we just "explaining"😆😆. I pray you and us all have a blessed week, your videos are great!!
Loving your makeup!! you were right about the green shimmy!! I met you on UA-cam, when you were always doing makeup, and it's nice to see more of that occasionally! This is the vlog that got me to subscribe, and I like 'you being you'; I personally can relate with you having a melt down, especially after coming back from SL where all your family and friends are, you're excused, and natural to feel this way💁🏾♀🤷🏾♀; "Tomorrow is always another day to pick up the fragments, and start over"!!
Give yourself grace when you feel that you can’t be what everybody else need at the moment! You have to take care of yourself so that you can be your best for others! You don’t have to feel bad for taking care of you! You are just as important too!!
Additionally… I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist for virtual therapy sessions starting in 2 weeks.
Sometimes we just need to have a safe place to really express ourselves to an outlet where it isn’t biased and professional opinion or advice is needed❣️
Just throwing another way I choose to deal with stress out there, lol.
You’re doing amazing! 🤩 I think you’re a lot harder on yaself than you should be… like most people but seeking therapy may help you realize where the root of ya stress is coming from*
Maya I feel you on this conversation. I feel so anxious at times. I feel like I'm constantly running.
Your daughter might end up resenting you for not being sensitive to her needs during this big transition. Why in the world would you rush into all of this knowing that that this is alot for your daughter. You are honestly all over the place and may want to take a step back and reevaluate your life. God is not the author of confusion.
Come on Maya! Show them how you CAN do it all!
If I were you (because you asked lol) I would focus on automation, putting systems in place, and setting boundaries. I know I for sure wouldn't be cleaning that big house myself and have a cleaning service come in sometimes.
Proverbs 31 is a resting place or a soft life, many women wish they could have stability, a loving family, and purpose but you’re the Queen of the Castle, you set the tempo part of femininity as you know and sometimes the castle needs training 😋 you got this girl 🤗 you’re well on your way!
Maya honey thanks for your honesty. You definitely hv bn through alot in this pass yr or so. I know u have already attempted organizing your life in a few videos bk but this truly works for me. For yrs I had a problem w telling people no n always have catered to others no more n I'm just fine
Soft life, in my opinion is about convenience, no stress. It's also, like my grandmother use to say, knowing what you require to be happy so that you can get what you want and need. You can start by outsourcing some of the things that bring you stress so you can focus on the things that really matter to you. For example: Hiring an Interior Designer to help style your home so you can just live in it an enjoy it instead of decorating and redecorating. Hire a maid service to help with the cleaning so you can just live in the space. Hire a therapist to help you develop ways to calm yourself. Lastly, pay more attention to what you are putting in your body and how you are treating your body.
Yes 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
‘Soft life’ is not realistic because a lot of those women are single (as in they may be in a relationship but aren’t in a seriously committed one) and child free & they therefore have disposable income and free time to do things like wake up early, meditate, go to Pilates, solo dates etc. we need a new trend for women that actually have children and also a partner to take care of. I’m hoping that someone like Maya can be the first to set her own trend.
Chile I’m a caregiver .. and when I get a break I find a good manifesting video, or just journal . Plus I have a childish spouse who can’t figure it out so finding 15-20 min for myself is a good thing.
Finally !!!! Loving this new switch up
I have a husband and 3 children, which 2 of them are adults but still needs their mother to some capacity. I’m also a full-time RN with another prn nursing job as well as a (small)content creator on UA-cam, IG, and TikTok. I often feel the pressure too but I believe there’s different phases in our lives which maybe a little stressful at times…comes with the territory especially when there’s a lot going on. Honestly, I just have unplug myself from my family, social media, and my career. I don’t answer the phone or text message which my kids hate. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks which used to be very bad but now since I have learned how to just be unavailable at times, there aren’t as tense, I’ve even weaned myself off of my anti-anxiety medication(I’m not encouraging anyone to stop taking their medications). Mia, just embrace this season in your life and just know it will get easier…Ecclesiastes talks about there’s a time fir every season under the sun. Just stay prayed up and soak in His peace!!
Also once I learned how to stop being such a people pleaser to the point I forgot about who I am really helped. The world things everyone should do the same trends of life especially on these social media platforms. I understand for some this is their actual job but just be you…what’s meant for you us for you and no one can stop it!!
The OG never gets stale girlie. It was one of the things I loved about your vlog when I first started watching and still do 😁👍🏾
Girl these brows are everything 😍
Hey girl. How do you maintain your friendship with your girlfriends... I feel like I’ve lost more friends since I got married n moved to a new city.
Thanks for this video 🤍
I can truly appreciate the transparency, I am praying for your peace and happiness! You inspire me to go on my solo dates! 💕
You are my UA-cam bestie lol you are the only content creator I actually enjoy watching