She Is Unsure of Her Feelings
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- Опубліковано 23 січ 2020
- When a partner tells you that they are unsure about their feelings for you, there is usually something more happening behind the scenes and a reasoning behind the uncertainty. This video is about insecurity in one's feelings about a relationship.
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This is an outstanding video. I am in my sixties and I can still relate to your advice. Being immobilized during a breakup is not a good place to be, but it does happen. Relationships can be very challenging.
I just want to remind you that your current situation is not permanent. Sometimes all its needed is a bit of time :)
Solid positivity!
Even if entertaining other spirits is what ended the relationship?
When someone decides they are not " sure " about you , best thing to do is move on! People that " wish - washy " will always keep you in limbo and insecure about where things stand in the relationship! I know because I've been involved with the same thing! One day , you're their " soulmate " , and when the wind changes direction , you get ignored and they act like you're completely invisible! It's exhausting! Like another great video on UA-cam " Let Them Go " says , " If someone can walk away from you , LET THEM GO "!!! I truely believe that anyone who REALLY loves you will NOT walk away! ( unless of course , you give them good reason to! )
I needed to hear this. I feel like my wishy-washy ex is keeping me in limbo. I guess letting go is the best thing...
correct, walking away, the best thing to do.... :)
I’m beginning to think this is true. If you love someone, truly love them, then you don’t need anything else.
C L yes, dopamine and all the other bonding chemicals which feel so good, the absence of boredom, the thrill of being a couple, the health benefits, the money you can save....it’s such an obvious way to improve your quality of life and it’s not guaranteed to anyone. The greatest happiness and it might elude a person forever.
Does anyone else watch this while they sleep? I seriously do. And I listen to the videos all day, while I drive, at the store, in the shower. It is keeping my thoughts in the right places. It helps. My ex says I am the perfect partner, she loves me but isn’t in love. After watching videos, I realize she is avoidant. She always required a lot of space. And while sometimes I let her take it, I definitely realize that a lot of times I didn’t. She ended up being scared because she said the love I have for her is so real. She’s never felt anything like it before. She said she doesn’t deserve me. And she thinks we have different ideas on relationship and she’s afraid to lose herself. We were together for almost 3 years. I am shattered. Even though she says I am not at fault, she wants to find herself and figure it out. She needs time. Also she admitted, that she is unsure. She said while I feel like I’m making the right decision, I also feel like I’m making a huge mistake. I never wanted to hurt you. She said she’s hurt that she hurt me.
I am working on my anxious attachment because I realize, that the underlying issue is her being an avoidant & me being anxious. I told her I respect her decision and I understand she feels this way and that I hope she figures things out. That I love her, & that will work on myself & move forward. If she changes her mind, to reach out. I packed my things from our apartment & left. She came back (she left for 2 days to her parents instantly after breaking up- she always goes there when things go wrong). The day of me leaving early in the morning to avoid running into her... I saw her watch me go from her car that was parked around the corner. I acted like I didn’t see her... and I pulled away in the opposite direction. I know the emptiness is going to hurt because I crumbled every moment I had while packing my things knowing I wouldn’t be returning.
I am going to improve my behaviors. My anxiety. I have hope.
Any update bro?
I’ve dumped several times but only been the dumpee twice. Both those occasions were horrific aftermath experiences. Only last year after studying your videos and doing the workbooks did I understand how and why. My first two years, I was brought up in a war zone(London) in a single parent(temporary) family, and frequent amounts of indeterminate abandonment (in a safe place). My Anxious Attachment has remained off the scale, but since following the wonderful work of you and Margaret, I am in progress of becoming more Securely Attached. Thank you guys.
Spot on with the points! It did feel like a rejection. And she did admit(didnt deny) she's was in a weird place and unable to give the same feelings after no toxic issues..but obviously going through somethin emotionally and withdrawn.
An interesting video that nicely illustrates how "in the background" influence from friends and/or family can seriously impact the relationship. Quite a burden to be put in a position where you have mixed or conflicted loyalties as a result of being expected to choose between family and a potential lover. It's no wonder the girl was unsure about her feelings. Mother sounds like someone with her own issues and is at least afraid to lose her role and influence in her daughters life. I really think family and friends should let a relationship develop naturally and organically without interfering too much... or at all (unless someone's health is at risk of course). Let everyone have their own (love)life.
I'm wondering how much of waiting around and giving them space to work through their shit, is also neglecting your own needs for closeness. If you have an avoidant ex, and they are very unsure of their decision, and seem to be floating in and out, also claiming space, but you are someone who craves more closeness, I feel like compromising your own needs to match theirs is really unfair and unhealthy. Any thoughts?
That’s basically the anxious avoidant trap
My counselor thinks my ex was Histrionic or Narcissist. Of course, all she has to go on is what I've told her. We were together for 3 years and even talked about marriage. She sudden;y broke it off. Six months later she was married.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy not come back at least for a little
Bit of texting or an attempted meetup
So everyone has a little chance at least
And I’m talking about people you’ve met a handful of times, deep relationships, long relationships but even flings? Over the years people have always texted or tried to get in contact. Whether it works out or not is another story... but people have always messaged me even if it was A very sour goodbye. And actually that includes whether you dump or were dumped. Whether you ghosted or were ghosted. In my experience anyway.
God damn, it took me two weeks before I really had an urge to reach out after I had this talk with the girl I was seeing. I really had to contain myself not to reach out by watching some of your other videos, I really do appreciate the both of you. You enable me to contain myself when my mind and body stresses out
How did it work out for you man?
@@BeanieNinjay0 Way better not bro, every time a relationship ends you just end up learning from it and come out better for the most part is what I have come to find
I litterally had this talk with the girl I'm seeing a week ago, we agreed upon it's best not to see eachother while she figures it out. Decided to just not contact her untill she finds out.
Never did the dramatic thing though, I just told her I understand and she kinda got mad that I didn't give her the typical "Mad at her" thing so I'm back to just doing me. Thank you two for still doing what you do : )
any update? :(
@@eppeep42 We have started to see eachoter again, and we are taking it super slow. It's going great, so I'm just enjoing the ride. Thank you for asking ☺️
@cleffy, how long were you seeing her? How long were you in no contact? Did she reach out?
@@anthonyburke5147 I mean we have been friends for years, but I'm all over it and I'm seeing this great new girl now!
@@WastedPiety yeh I just wanted your details of no contact. My breakup was peaceful and she claimed she didn't know how she felt. So if nothing went wrong, like yours, I wondered if it'd be similar
Hi Coaches, could you please do some videos on how to be more relaxed in front of a person you’re dating, or your partner or when your ex returns? My anxiety is out of control and I’m on the road to ruin it all...
Love coach Margaret!!!
I know exactly why she is sabotaging and pushing him away. I am 51. I still am too scared to upset the "AppleCart"
If they are "unsure" it means their attraction is not enough to warrant a relationship. Why would you want to continue at that point?
You guys are Awesome. I wish you both would do a Video for couples who divorced after 10 plus years and with kids. Do the same re attraction strategies apply..????
Currently in the same situation we are both 21 and have been together coming up on 4 years. She’s in college at the moment and is unsure what she wants. Her mom and auntie always tell her how she needs to experience being single in college all the time and it makes her confused. She has a difficult time making decisions without them. Currently giving her time alone to hopefully help her better understand what she wants.
I feel you man. Leave her behind, if being single and fucking around is more important than your relationship... she's not the one my man
Hey, my girlfriend is leaving the country but after 1and a half years. So she broke up with me now. She was very sad about it too. I couldn't find any video about this condition. If you could make one it would be very helpful.
Confusion but being confused doesn't exist with women supposedly especially if they are being manipulated from an outside source or a third party.
Mario Tibbrine Im a woman. I am
Confused because he confused me.
@@Egyptologist777 are you sure you didn't confuse yourself?
Doubt brings confusion then resentment, vindictiveness ,sabotage ,anger , rage,abandonment finally destruction
That's basically what my ex is doing. She reaches out and continues the conversation all day long, but then she keeps saying she cant envision being with someone else but shes scared to give me another chance. I dunno whether to go into no contact or not but that would require me to ignore her. Which is hard because she keeps reaching out about how shes feeling hurt and sad about what happened. Man I wish I could afford coaching.
No contact
Wow she sounds really immature
So it's been a rough year and a half for me. My ex broke up with me and I was devastated and never thought I would get past it. I finally moved on and decided to work on myself and let go of the idea of getting back with her. I met someone new who I love and am so happy with. When we became intimate I left work late at night and found my ex down the road. The timing could not have been more strange. She had got her car stuck on a gutter as she tried to reverse when she say my car driving her way. Obviously I stopped to help and asked what she was doing there as I hadn't seen her for almost a year. She said "I'm stalking you!" I laughed and we talked for a while. I helped her get her car unstuck. We talked for hours all night and both apologized for our toxic behavior during and after our relationship. She said she she wanted to be friends which is what I wanted for so so long. I told her I didn't want to be a toxic person in her life anymore and said I didn't want to be friends. I thought that would be the end of it. My current gf still talks to her ex frequently which bothers me but I'm trying to be a grown up and accept they are just friends they were together for 5 years and I don't want to make her end that friendship because of my insecurities. I recently texted my ex and haven't seen or talked for almost 6 months to see if she wanted to talk again. She said no but would like to be able to come to my place of work again and feels like she can't. I told her she can it's just difficult for me to see her but I can handle it. She said if we did talk again it would just be small talk. Anyway, she showed up at my work the next day and has been there almost every other day since. I saw her pull up on like the 3rd time she went and waved to just be polite. She came up and made small talk for a few minutes and walk away. It was weird and I didn't expect to actually talk but I was happy we did a bit. A few times later she came up to me while I was working and talked to me for 2 hours until the store closed about how she has been thinking about me a lot and runs by my house a lot which I hate to admit I did after we had broken up. I told her we should talk again she joked and said you should go running again maybe we'll run into each other. We still follow each other on this running app and I see she has been running by my house on all my days off. I don't know what to do about this as I'm in love with my current girlfriend but I still have these feelings for my ex. And from what it seems my ex isn't happy with her current bf because he is so steady and stable and we were the exact opposite. For some reason she misses that. I would appreciate any input on what I should do. I worked on myself for a long time to get my ex back but found someone else who i love and loves me. So I'm just very conflicted inside 😐
I know a year has gone by but.. Where you actually in love with your gf and at the same time you had these feelings for your ex?
So what happened?
COACH CRAIG, PLEASE CONTACT ME BACK (caps so you see this) I bought your book series and can't get in. How do I get ahold of you?
My ex-partner made false allegations against me to the police and now I'm all cleared. Why do I want to get back with her? I'm torn between feeling hurt, angry and wanting to be with her. What can I do?
Can Social services groom her to make her the victim? She was initially remorseful, now she's playing the victim.
Good morning loves
Some girls are too afraid to cut the apron strings from their mother.
This is exactly like my ex. Her mum was a control freak and made her dump me. Joke.
Would you sir make a video about how each attachment style person is in a friendship...like their ability to make frnds, keeping those frnds and how they react to arguements and frndship disconnection!???
Coach I goofed. My ex and I are both ignoring each other. Although she still follows my social media and views my social media stories. I ended the last communication somewhat poorly, by not replying to a few of her messages and she hasn't tried to contact me since. I feel like I was rude by obviously ignoring her attempts to contact, but I feel reaching out now is a weak move. What are your thoughts?
Update???
Hi Coach
Hope you are doing good !
I am a great fan from India and I recently started watching your videos after my girlfriend broke up with me.
I read about your the knowledge work book series but i am confused if that gonna help my situation or not. I have been going through lot of trauma of loosing her and these days not able to focus on myself. I never imagined my life without her and I don't know how things will be back to fine. Please help me
Thanks,
Update???
I think this is exact situation. I know somewhere in her heart she still cares deeply for me. We have been broken up for a month we have been in a really good relationship for the most part for 1 year and 2 months. She told me she wants me in her life and she will always be in mine. She wants friendship right now and said in the future if it is meant to be it is meant to be. I am currently in no contact. Basically a guy kissed her in a club and she pushed him off. I got insecure and controlling out of fear. This was the reason for the breakup. I think I also gave to much attention and it overwhelmed her. I feel completely different as the breakup woke me up and I am making changes. But I fear she will not give me the opportunity to show her I have made the changes and am no longer insecure
Same exact boat, I wish you the best
@@down2earth485 you think we have a shot. I mean at one stage I know it was fast ut we planned getting married and kids. You can't just forget those types of feelings can you ?
@@seanrooney170 she can't, but she will kill them if you keep pushing her. We need to remove ourselves and grow, if they come back they have realized OUR value
@@down2earth485 yeah I have been in no contact and I will not reach out
I'm waiting for her to do so
@@seanrooney170 best thing is...dont wait. Do you, date other girls. She might call, she might not
i hope to get a reply from this. how many times does a guy come back? we tried working it out again and then he left. does guys come back twice?
Josephine Jay how?
why my ex is confusing me like she sees my story on IG one time and not seeing for other days and seeing one story and not seeing others. it look like she is controlling herself not to see my story and post and im sure she muted my profile so sje need to search me to see my post and stuff. what it means . and what can i do for it. help pls
Update???
@@dwightschrute8141 yeah she gone for good
so i need advice the past two weeks my ex reached out to my friend’s bf and my best friend asking how have i been and saying he loves me but is afraid i wont take him back and admitting he cries like every night about me and i broke no contact (i know i shouldn’t have i listened to the wrong people im sorry) and he told me he’s not ready for commitment (but told my best friend it’s not that) and not ready to settle down and doesn’t trust he won’t hurt me again is my situation hopeless i respected his decision in the end but i feel so hopeless about everything like i ruined my chance
he told me he partly wants to be with me but he can’t he has to draw the line
any update? :(
Update???
please I need help my ex is sending mixed signals she said even know she ended it doesn't mean I want to just trying to figure it out
4 years ago , how are u now broda😂
Hey Coach I used no contact for around 6 months and my ex reached out around New Years. We had short friendly and fun contact since then a couple of times. Right now and for the next few months I‘m traveling so I can’t set a date. (Can I? Skype?) I sure want to see her again once I‘m back in my city because we had a great time and strong connection. Any tips on what I can do to manage this situation?
@John Daily take it easy and chat (skype) with her a few times like shes your sister till you get back. Her interest will be up but until shes crazy about you, protect yourself. oxxooo. pls give us updates !!!!!
Amanda Kolohe I‘m back due to Corona. After being back for like 2 weeks I reached out to her ( cause she reached out in Jan where I couldn’t make a date ).
We‘ve had 5,6 dates and had sex about a week ago. We‘ll meet up this afternoon, after she reached out and I wanted to set another date cause we haven’t really talked in about a week. I‘ll keep it light and playful and it‘s gotten easier cause we got physical again. Excited to see where it goes. It sounded like she might wanted to talk about it today...
I‘d say it goes perfect rn except we still don’t see each other more than 1,2 times per week but we always have a good fun time.
@@johndaily4263 thats Epic... Ill be your cheerleader if you want her to fall madly in love with you~. Girls go nuts with guys that are polite and calm. Im always here for you...
@@johndaily4263 Dont worry just tell her your mind has been on improving yourself as far as family, career and life in general so you are open to taking it slow, with keeping her in your life (nothing heavy and there is no one else in your life) it will melt her heart! Im so glad you are getting Craigs point of view as far as the man and everyone has felt so many excruciating painful days but you are smart enough to know you can turn this around. OX
Amanda Kolohe thanks for the kind words and the advice but I‘ll wait for her to bring ,,us‘‘ up since she was the one breaking up with me so everything must be her idea
Why does one have to decide?
I know exactly if they’re the one I want or not. If you’re not sure, you aren’t in.
I'm 29 now I hope I'm still a young indult I haven't been 29 long
...am I young?...☺☺☺
But why didn't the mom like him the first time? That's what I want to know.
They become unsure if there somebady else
Gaza Christ she will call or go by
We have a 10 year friendship. How do they walk away like it’s nothing?
Hi.
Hello, me and my ex broke during Christmas and I moved back in with my parents (a city away) 2 weeks ago. Her birthday is on the 29th, do I wish her a birthday?
@Josephine Jay nope I moved away for now. I plan on moving back to the same city in like 8 months
any updates? How did it go?
Ex texted and deleted his messages, should I ignore it?
Styles posen Nope
@@hectorcastro347 why?
Ignore what exactly?
@@Calidore1 the deleted message
Styles posen well, if you deleted his texts I’d just ignore him, I would say you aren’t that into him.
My ex found another girl after 3 days only 😬
He was probably seeing her already
@@RyanTheHandyman na it was a old friend from youth.. She was fresh single n they actually meet to hang out and talk. N while talking it happened..
N days later he told me he is also unsure about tht.. Maybe it's more than friendship. N a few weeks later they spend holidays in Egypt together 🇪🇬😂
Man coach I haven’t spoke to my ex girlfriend Since July & I emailed her a friendly email Thursday night I haven’t gotten anything back yet I believe she’s currently with someone else & I do want her back but at this point I don’t believe I can
I did something similar with a woman I used to like a lot, so I can completely understand what lead you to reach out to her. You did what you could, and tried your best to make things work. Do you feel it might be a good idea to go back to no contact again?
Razor5313 yes I do I was with her for 2 years & with my birthday coming up on the 5th I hope I get done type of response from her I know for a fact we’d do it better than we once did but I’m still blocked on Facebook and messenger n idk what to do any advice?
@@chuckvandam1905 oh I see, so the birthday is perhaps triggering some sort of anxiety and missing her because of the things you two did?. It's hurtful being blocked on those two things, but it's better to not contact her again
Razor5313 so u think I should just let her be ? I mean tbh I most likely won’t feel any more pain because of on the 29th it’ll be a year since the break up when I say I literally tried everything I really did & nothing worked out so yeah I believe your absolutely right! & I’m gonna post my new kickboxing photos to my Facebook and hope everything sees my growth
Don’t bother any more. I’m in the same position. I love her but she’s keeping me on tenterhooks. She blocked me on WhatsApp and all that’s left is email or going she sees my pics on Facebook but she isn’t registered so won’t comment. I know she loved me and probably still does, but we’ve got age and country differences and she’s not into me enough. Despite everything. End of story. She never will be. She wasn’t. Anything less is just annoying.