What To Do When Your Ex Isn't Sure What He Wants?
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2020
- Clay Andrews discusses what to do when your ex isn't sure what he wants.
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After a breakup, exes tend to be in a black-or-white state of mind. This can make it difficult when you want to get your ex back.
When your ex is confused about what he wants, they wonder whether or not it is better to get back together or stay broken up, to be with you again or not.
In this video, Clay Andrews shares that it's best if you make your ex feel like you are part of a team - that you are teammates. He also shared how you can interact with your ex to make them feel safe and lessen the pressure off of them.
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This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - Навчання та стиль
Thank you for watching this video. I hope you're having a good day, no matter what you might be experiencing out there, given everything happening in the world, or in your own life. Please take care of yourself.
Thank you 🙏 this video I needed
My x ,the mother of my child wants to be back with me so bad , I don’t know what to do with her ? Now I do ,sit her down and tell her just be friends ,and the father to our child as unfortunately she is just to toxic for me , thank you sir I will sleep better keep up the good work
I can see this working for a few months. By then, if someone’s still confused, you shouldn’t wait. There’s no worse feeling than wanting to give your all to someone who is only willing to give some.
That's a great point. After a breakup it's like neither party is on the same team anymore. Everything becomes a competition
She made her own decision clay she walked away she came back around two months later tell me about how the next guy treat her and kick her out but you never sit down and talk to me and say that we're together we not together no more she went on me to own decision check my feelings that mean nothing how big is promised you have communication skill have understanding you know I buy T my dreams I put my job to start my business I think God Everyday by the business is growing and the day I was trying to provide for my fat my family but in the day she can see that all stupid and bitching I was one more person in space
I honestly don't agree with this. If someone is confused about you, as far as I'm concerned they don't want me. That's my cue to move on. If they decide that they want me, it's in their court whether or not they reach out to me. It's entirely their monkey, they're confusion. I'm not going to sit and wait someone out only to find that later, they were wasting my time
Thanks for sharing your insight, Dawn. We truly appreciate that. :-)
I am going to be 100% honest my ex and I broke up earlier this year around April and we started talking again late June-early July. Around May I started looking at videos to get over my ex and none helped. Then we started talking again and I started looking at getting back with your ex videos. Nothing helped. We ran into this emotional brick wall around September and this is the first video I found that 100% helps. I am going to have this talk with her tonight. You are great at what you do man.
Wow I love this! Never really thought of it like this. This really also brings up the point of ‘communication is key’ which is really what was lacking between me n my ex.
I so understand!
Good advice personally I tried this even if it was so so hard keeping them in my life like that when they were the one to break up.
It didn't work out for me even a year later she doesn't want to get back together
I don't have time to waste if they are confused that fine it just like a job or health were human, but I don't need to be confused with them in my love life when I know what I want
I rather let someone go at that point to figure out what they want. I can move on and start dating other along the way. They can come back when they are clear on what they want and then I can choose if it best for me or not depending on if I'm in a new relationship or not
That way I'm not trying to hide that I only want a romantic relationship
I have never viewed it this way thank you so much
My ex is at this stage for sure. We had so much built up sexual tension but I gave in and had sex when I shouldn't have now I'm back to no contact for 2 months. Learning to slow down is tough but necessary
This is so fkn good
Love this channel ❤️
Glad you enjoy it!
Looking sharp in your shirt and tie. Yay....Clay!!!
Thanks!!
I guess I screwed it up because I said that I understand that he's confused and that we just need to go back to enjoying each other's company and if he decides that he's interested later, then we can talk.
“Hence the tie” Hahahah! Adorable
Thanks. :-)
Ex came in strong, we were dating, both agreed we wanted commitment. Out of no where he goes cold and I don’t hear from him for 8 days. I reach out and he said he “doesn’t know what he wants in his life. He’s not happy and he’s sorry.” Sooooo I threw in the towel, wished him well and blocked him.
Honestly, he made huge statements, marriage, expressed love, made future plans which is why I might have come on strong too.
Wish I watched this video 2 hrs ago. Because I’m positive I’ve messed everything up and there are zero chances for this to work out with my ex and I
Hello Clay , i gotta ask you , i was in no contact with my ex for around 50 days, but it hasn't been like an official breakup , however we met in person two days ago , was super positive and she felt emotional , but we broke up , however that wasnt awakward , it was like one word, rest time we have spent taking , laughing etc , she said she was scared that i wanted her totally out of my life and that i can text sometmies , she will too. Im actually kinda lost, do u have any sort of advice to that situation ?
Perfect video to my current situation. He keeps thinking I'm some form of emotional enemy - and admittedly, I kinda saw him as against me in some way too - but now we're just "confused together" in a good way, me and him. Now I'm just focusing on good conversations, making a good emotional connection, and bonding times. I just need to stay strong while I pile up the good memories over the "negative past" and match him emotionally. He still wants me around as his best friend, and he thinks of my great qualities. So that's a good start.
Sounds like a progress you have there. :-)
@@ClayAndrews yes, and the only way is up 😊
@@littleMahika hey how is it now..???
@@littleMahika I’m sort of going through the same thing any update is n your situation?
ㅋㅋ 🥳 it’s help.. we’re back soon
I go drop my son off then me and my ex had three hours conversation then my son ask Daddy are staying tonight I'm like this would make things harder we both knew after letting out that stuff we could make things difficult if i stay in confusion she confused to so I left but more confused then ever.
And if you already pushed them away again because you were so black and white, does more space and going no contact again, draw them back into you later? Even after they said they wouldn't get back together with you? or is the whole idea dead in the water?
If your ex has been consistent with their decision, that is something that we have to accept and maybe it is time to focus on healing.
What if only you feel it’s grey and confused. But your ex feels its just friendship and expects you to accept the equation as is along with the fact that they have moved on... Then what do you say them? I mean if your ex tells you they don’t have feelings , what would you possibly tell them - ‘Hey its okay if you don’t have feelings? 🙃 ‘
How do you respond that it conveys you are same team in that case? Because ofcourse your real intention is to be with them , would you then lie in this case ?
Do you accept and understand where your ex is coming from without pushing your own agenda? Maybe it is not just about what you should say to your ex but it is also about your level of acceptance on what your ex wants right now.
I take it this applies to a she as well ?
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
A lot of you are going to end up hurt by listening to this advice. Let me explain something… if an ex is “confused” it means they’re simply using you as a time passer while they find what they DO want. You think by bonding with them and socializing with them will make them want you? NO. What it will do is boost their ego and self esteem while they’re looking for the person they really want to settle down with. If you’re a woman who’s dealing with a confused ex, I heavily suggest moving on. Men will string you along for as long as they can… sometimes they’ll do it for YEARS. Do NOT entertain or “bond” with an ex who’s confused. They’re trying to have you as an emotional tool while they seek out the person they want to give the world to
bam thank you i’m moving smooth on
Good girl! Don’t wait! Move on as fast as you can
Do not listen to this guy
Thank you for saying this. Sometimes Clay sugarcoats things to make people feel better in the moment, but sometimes his advice hurts people in the long run. The only thing I would add is that both genders do this. I have an ex (a woman) who admits this is what she’s doing to another guy RIGHT NOW!!! She literally can’t stand him but uses him for attention and an ego boost.
Don’t project. What you’re saying happens sometimes but assuming that that’s inherently the case is completely unrealistic. There could be so many valid reasons why an ex is confused, especially if you did something that hurt them before or during the breakup.
Are all of your videos geared toward women?
The lessons that we teach are universally applicable to all genders. :-)
I’m one confused ex-boyfriend.
Intial
my exand me had the same goals then he broke up with me saying he didnt want anything serious boys suck honestly
It’s totally not uncommon for females to do just the same this
It can truly happen as our priorities may change depending on different factors.
Person
Hi clay 👋 I have something to share with you, my ex have breakup with me but we still keep on chatting she said we become friends I don't accept the friendship with her but we continue to chat again and know we ignore each other now so I want you to give me your advice please on what to do with her.